Chapter 4
JJ came in, falling onto the bed, glad Roxanne hadn't bothered to put it up today. He was tired and dirty now that he was working for a moving company: Boddy's. They were a popular company because they would take care of anything, the finest antiques, lumber, furniture or old equipment that needed to be taken to the dump. Today it was broken wood - large, filthy, splintering slabs from a renovated house that needed to be carted away. With the amount of refuse, JJ thought it was a wonder that the house was still standing.
He knew he needed a shower, but Stanley Redop of apartment 7-C was always hogging to communal bathroom and was probably in there now. JJ groaned, slumping half onto the floor and yawning into the cover that matched the sheets, and pillow case that his mother had sewn his name into - when she thought he was going to be at college, and didn't want his things mixed up with his roommate's.
He talked to her weekly for the past two months from the phone booth down the street since they didn't have a phone. Quiet calls his father probably knew about, but didn't comment on. He'd seen his father only once since the day after their 'honeymoon'. Jack had been going into the shop. JJ bit his lip, then pushed himself into calling out.
His father looked his way, said nothing, and went inside.
Meg was the only family member he regularly saw, she was always dropping by, and she and Roxanne had grown close again. This ensured that, even when JJ was dead tired, he still had to wait until his wife and sister had discussed ever minuet thing under the sun. Only then was it that Meg was ready to go and he had to drive her home to avoid her taking a night bus in such a neighborhood.
His thoughts broke away when the door opened. Roxanne came in wearily. Her feet hurt from walking home, and her head hurt from the speech she'd received while getting escorted to the door.
"Hey," JJ said, reaching a hand out. She usually came and sat next to him, today she turned and put her purse on the counter. "What's wrong."
She looked away, staring hard at the tiny, dim kitchen. "I was fired."
"Again?!"
She turned completely away from him and he adjusted his tone, pushing back his dirty hair before speaking.
"Rox. This is the second one."
The first had been her stint as a waitress, and he hadn't blamed her for being fired. Her temper was quick when offended, and when someone reached out and grabbed her behind a plate of burgers and fries scalding his lap was one of the more merciful things that could have happened. Currently she'd been shampooing heads in Rita's Salon.
"I grabbed the wrong bottle and gave a graying fifty-year-old woman orange hair," she said quietly. When she looked back at JJ she had a faint smile. He just rubbed his temples. She meandered over to him and sat down. "We'll be okay."
He snorted out an unhappy laugh. "Least one of us thinks so."
"JJ--"
"You're starting school next week, you need a bunch of stuff. You don't even have a notebook."
"I have a pencil," she said brightly. "I took it from the diner."
"This isn't funny," he stated through an emerging grin.
"Then why are you smiling?" she asked cheekily, leaning over to him, and then pulling back when he went to kiss her. "You're all dirty."
"A couple dollars worth," he said, pulling himself up and going into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator door, but was faced only with a carton of eggs, a few bottles of Coke and a ridiculously large block of butter Rox had taken from the diner after uttering the immortal phrase, 'Fine, fire me! I quit anyway! And I'm taking this butter!'
He smirked, remember her spirited retelling as he reached for a drink. "What are we going to do?"
She sighed, sliding up onto the bed. "I don't know. We have thirty-four dollars in the cookie jar, and I can find something else. It's a big city."
"Yeah," he said, leaning onto the counter. The room was almost silent before the knock on the door sounded, followed quickly by Meg, beaming and bogged down with bags.
"Hi," Rox greeted brightly, bouncing up from the bed. JJ just tilted his bottle in greeting; his mind was full of the troubles they were encountering. While Roxanne could usually look ahead to a more optimistic situation JJ felt, as the man, he had to carry it all.
"Guess what?" Meg said excitedly, dropping her things and grabbing Rox's hands.
"I don't really have to guess, do I?"
"Not today," she said with a shake of her head. She was already dipping down; blindly digging until something sprung from the sack.
"It's beautiful!" Roxanne announced, reaching out to finger the green shade of the sweater.
"And yours," Meg nodded proudly.
"Really," she grinned, thinking it was a 'saw it and thought of you' type of gift. "That's so nice of you, Meg."
"Don't thank me just yet," she recommended with a firm nod. Reaching down once more she took up three of the four bags, shaking them out onto the bed. There were three blouses, two sweaters, and four skirts, along with a few intimate articles. "These are all yours."
JJ had come round at that, looking at the clothes. "From where?"
His voice was quiet, and Rox knew it wasn't a good sign.
"Mom," Meg said happily.
" . . . Take it back."
"What?" Roxanne asked, her eyes darting to her new clothing.
He looked at her, regret crossing his features before he became stern. "We can't accept this. We can't take anything from them, we'll do it ourselves."
"It's not from them!" Meg protested. "It's from Mom. Dad would drop if he knew she did this."
"You were just saying we had no money for school supplies!" Rox reminded.
"Got them!" Meg said quickly, grabbing the forth bag and dumping out notebooks and pens among other things.
JJ looked at them, silent for a moment before shaking his head. "No."
"JJ!"
He turned to Rox, the sound of his name as she said it was filled with . . . longing. She wanted the clothes; to her it wasn't a matter of pride.
"What if your mother walked in and offered us something? How would you feel?"
"Happy!" she countered. He grunted and went back to the teeny kitchen, grabbing his Coke. Rox spun on heel and charged up to him. "JJ, your mother is trying to be nice! You might not accept help - but accept NICE!"
She did know it was pride.
He looked at them, went over to a pile of his clothes, digging though them until he found something suitable and clean. "Keep them if you want."
He opened the door and strode out of the apartment, letting the door slam behind him. Roxanne sighed and looked at the outfits morosely.
"I can't take them."
"Come on, Rox! He's being silly."
"But he's my husband, Meg. I can't do something that's going to kill him," she said, plunking down on the bed. "My mother said I was too young to be married - and I'm too young to be a widow."
Meg laughed and sat next to her, picking at a brown and green plaid skirt. "This would look great on you."
"I know. But I can't," she said quietly. Then her eyes began to brighten, and a smile began to form. "It was nice of your mother to make me a loan."
"A loan?"
"Yes," Roxanne answered, standing and heading into the kitchen. She pulled down the chipped cookie jar they'd found in a closet along with some pots. She retrieved a five-dollar bill and waved it at Meg.
"No. Mom's not going to want it."
"Please," Rox pleaded. "If we're paying it back . . . it's not sucking the pride out of him."
Meg sighed and took the money. "I don't know."
"Take it. And if she tries to give it back just take it and buy something for yourself."
"Fine," Meg agreed. "But if I get to keep it . . . where's the rest?"
Rox smiled at her friend's effort to make light and shrugged. "When I get another job I'll give you some more."
Meg's face fell at that. "You got fired again?"
Rox nodded.
"How?"
"I turned a fifty-year-old woman into a clown. I grabbed the wrong bottle and turned her hair an unflattering shade."
"Like?"
"Orange," she grinned cheekily.
By the time JJ got back he was clean, and in a better mood. The fact that there had been hot water to spare helped considerably. When he got walked in, he saw two looks of contentment.
That meant something.
"What?"
"We figured it out," Roxanne helpfully supplied. He was willing to listen.
"And?"
"And we'll pay your mother back, five dollars a week."
"How much was all this stuff together?" JJ asked. He didn't care. He was just putting in one last protest. He wanted her to have these things, and he wanted to keep his pride like he was taught. He did.
**
They dropped Meg off half a block away from the house so that Jack wouldn't give her speeches or lectures for associating with them. JJ wasn't sure if he would, after all, they were siblings, and deserved to see each other. But just in case . . .
They stopped off at the grocery store and spent the better part of the cookie jar money. All that was left now was money for gas, and not a dollar more. By the time they returned home and put away the food, they were tired and lagging. Rox had no more stepped out of the kitchen before she was shedding her clothes.
She fell onto the bed with a groan. It'd been a long day and she was ready for some sleep. She didn't even bother to put on a gown before she crawled beneath the covers; she didn't often get a chance to wear one anyway. JJ watched her flutter her eyelids as he took off his shirt; he reached for his toothbrush to begin to scrub up. Rox's eyelids lifted at she saw her husband brushing away, something she forgot.
With a moan she pulled herself out of bed, thankful the air was still warm and kind to her bra and panty clad body. Reaching for her own brush she did a slow job of cleaning her teeth while JJ made his way to the bed, doffing his own clothes as he went. He awaited her approach as he watched her drooping features, and even her yawn with a mouth full of paste didn't waver his gaze.
Finally, after an unladylike spit and rinse in the sink she came over, crawling in and plopping on her stomach. She was happy. She savored the soft bed under her. She shifted to the perfect position.
She felt him kiss her shoulder.
"JJ," she moaned. She didn't want tempted, she wanted to sleep.
"Rox," he whispered. She felt his hand smoothing it's way up her back and she turned slightly into his touch.
"I'm goin' to sleep."
"You sure?" he asked, and she almost cursed the smirk in his voice. He kissed her shoulder again, moving closer, the warmth of his form making her moan in frustration at the feelings he was evoking. She turned on her back; her eyes still sealed as his lips trailed over her collarbone.
"We can't anyway," she yawned.
"Why not?" he asked, running his fingers over her belly and ribs.
"Because," she shifted, "We didn't have enough money left for rubbers."
His lips stopped his head lifted. "What?"
She finally opened her eyes, looking over. "We used the last one yesterday. And we didn't have enough money today."
" . . . There are other ways," he said with a slight smile.
"What other ways?" she asked as he curled his hand around her hip.
He grinned and kissed her again.
**
JJ woke up unpleasantly. His head rose from his pillow, feeling disoriented for a moment until he looked toward the kitchen. Rox stood in one of his button down shirts; she glared at him and banged the frying pan onto the stove. Last night came back and JJ sighed, dropping his head onto the pillow.
She pulled out a carton of eggs, nearly dropping them onto the counter and perhaps cracking a few. JJ groaned into the bed and pulled himself up, rubbing his hair as he reached for his underwear. He pulled them on and walked to the counter, staring across at his wife.
"I'm sorry."
"You promised!"
"Roxanne--"
"You promised!" she repeated.
"I know, I know," he said looking at the counter before shaking his head and looking at her. "But . . . it was . . . I was in the moment and it was hard to remember right then."
"It's two words, JJ! Pull. Out. Pull out. PULL OUT. Two words!" she shouted, throwing the eggs into the pan, then grunting when she realized she forgot the butter.
"You didn't say anything!"
"I said 'wait!' I'm sorry I wasn't loud enough, but maybe you were too busy to notice!"
"You were happy before that!"
"It wasn't an issue before that!" Roxanne said, annoyed and scraping out burned egg. "Besides, weren't you the one that said we have to be careful?"
"I wasn't thinking!"
"I know," she answered, coming round and picking out clothes. She went to the door, peeking out to make sure the bathroom was open and made a running start to it.
JJ looked at the burned pan and fell back onto the bed. He still had to go to work.
**
"Pryor residence."
"Patty," Roxanne said in relief, glad Mr. Pryor didn't pick up.
"Yeah?" the voice on the phone asked.
"This is Roxanne."
"Boy, are you lucky Dad's at work."
"Is Meg there?"
"How's JJ?"
"Fine. Can you put Meg on?"
"Geez. That's the last time I try and be nice." Rox heard the phone drop and Patty yelling in the background. After a moment she heard a panting Meg on the line.
"Rox?"
"Meg. I need you to ask your mother some questions."
"Why?"
"Because," Rox answered impatiently, "Now would NOT be the time to consult my mother."
"What is it?"
Roxanne bit her lip. "First question: How many times can you have sex before you get pregnant?"
"You don't know that?"
"You do?" Rox shot back.
"Well, no, but . . . you're married."
"They don't hand out a booklet with the ring, Meg."
Her friend was silent for a moment. "Anything else?"
"No. I don't know. I can't . . . my mind is a blank."
"Is JJ around?" She wondered if he was as worried as Rox sounded.
"No. He left for work. With eggshells in his breakfast," she sighed, leaning against the booth. "You have to ask, Meg."
"Why don't you? She's home."
"I can't ask her that."
"You have to."
Rox looked up and down the street, the people unaware of her problems. "Fine!"
"Tell me the answer," Meg said, before dropping the phone. Rox growled into the receiver and kicked the glass.
**
"Pryor! WATCH OUT!" his boss shouted.
JJ stopped before stepping too close to a staircase. He shifted, moving another way to set the mahogany cabinet against the wall, and let out a breath of relief he didn't tumble down the stairs.
"You take a break," Mr. Harbor said, pointing to JJ. "Get your head right."
"Yes, Sir," JJ answered, wiping perspiration from his brow with a gloved hand. The two other movers, Freddy and Michael, headed for the truck and the ten other pieces that had to be brought in.
The boss was right, he needed a break, he'd been thinking of Roxanne all day. She was upset with him, and although his excuse was viable - who could think at that moment?! It had been his suggestion to wait, and they were *not* ready for a child.
He'd put her in this situation. He'd married her; he's possibly gotten her pregnant. This was a mistake. He shouldn't have crumpled up that Military pamphlet; he shouldn't have listened to his heart. She would be so much better off right now, and afterward, when he'd come back from his duty, he could come back and make a better life for her.
But he loved her, and his brain wasn't powerful enough to control his heart.
**
The talk went . . . fine. As fine as it could while Helen gasped on the phone and Rox felt like the epitome of a woman with loose morals. It ended in an insistence that Roxanne go to the family doctor and be fitted with birth control. So, they were two nervous women in a waiting room.
"Mrs. Pryor?"
Helen looked up before Roxanne did. She tugged on the younger woman's sleeve. "I'll go in too."
Roxanne nodded, letting her mother-in-law follow her. Helen was worried sick, the rift between Jack and JJ was big enough - the fulfillment of his prediction would pull them even further apart. Besides that, she couldn't stop the thoughts that crossed her mind. She didn't want to be a grandmother now. She remembered her Nana Keller; she wore a wig, and had lost all of her teeth. She smelled like potatoes and licorice. *She* was still young . . . ish, she didn't want to have her child having a child now. Her very first baby.
"Mrs. Pryor," Dr. Greller greeted. He had a white coat, a clipboard, and a warm smile. He'd taken care of their family for years and gotten to be close to them. Close enough to squeeze in an extra appointment for the Pryors. "How have you been? What seems to be the problem?"
"It's not me," she said with a choked word and tight smile. "It's my daughter-in-law, Roxanne."
Rox stepped forward with a shuffle and Dr. Greller's bushy eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Wasn't it just yesterday JJ was in for a physical?"
"More like three months," Helen sighed.
"And now he's married," he continued, taking the news in a far more positive light than everyone else did. "Isn't that funny? They grow up so fast these days."
"Very fast," Helen agreed, less enthusiastically.
"So what can I do to help the new member of the family?"
Helen waited for Rox to respond, but got no sound. She spoke up instead. "She needs birth control. I was wondering if you could-"
"Fine. Fine. I'll take care of it," he answered, scribbling a note for his nurse.
"We'll also need a pregnancy test," Helen added. His head and eyebrow lifted at that, but he just nodded.
"All right. I'll need to ask some questions."
Rox nodded and finally broke away from Helen, not wanting her to witness any questions that might concern her sex life with JJ. "I can do this myself."
Helen nodded and slipped out.
"Roxanne, have a seat on the bed," the doctor said, finally reading from his clipboard - and the information Rox had filled out earlier. "You're sixteen?"
She nodded, but he didn't continue with a negative comment. Dr. Greller had been in practice since WW2, when everyone one was scared, packing off to war, hardly out of high school, and marrying their young sweethearts because they needed to know there was something to come back to.
"How long have you been married?"
"A little over two months," she answered, climbing up.
"And when was your last missed period?"
"Actually," she said, clearing her throat. "I haven't missed anything. We . . . last night."
"Your last period then?"
"The twenty-second."
"Okay. We can't do a test for weeks. Roxanne, does JJ know you're here?" It was a question he had to ask, it was the husband's place to choose. It was clear literature that came along with the new medical technology a few years back.
"We both agreed it's too early for children," she said, shifting a little, annoyed that he had to ask that question and she was assumed unqualified to decide herself. Rox slumped back a little. "I . . . I asked Mrs. Pryor, but she wouldn't answer. Maybe you could . . ."
He looked at her, setting his pen down. "Do you have questions, Roxanne?"
"A few . . . How many times can you have sex without . . . help, before you get pregnant?"
"You're worried, so I assume you think once is enough."
"Is it?" she asked quietly.
"Yes."
Roxanne sunk in her seat.
**
She lay on the bed, looking up on the ceiling. She hadn't managed to get much done after Helen had brought her home. The doctor had explained the different options in detail. Among them the diaphragm, and the birth- control pill, she decided on the second. She had yet to take one; she couldn't until enough time had passed to have a pregnancy test performed. Until then, she had to use condoms, and hope for the best.
But would it be so bad? She reached down to cup her stomach; it would be a little someone, a mix of her and JJ. She smiled in spite of herself. Those new school clothes wouldn't fit. She laughed to herself and got up, she had to clean, and look for a part-time job.
She'd just finished the dishes when JJ came in. He wasn't covered in dirt, he'd been moving polished, cared-for antiques today - he was drenched in sweat.
"Hi." He was unsure as he walked in, but Rox opened the refrigerator and pulled him out a Coke. Popping it open she set it on the counter.
"Hi."
He reached for the bottle with a curious look. "Still mad at me?"
She sighed, looking at him and shrugging. "I don't know."
"I'm sorry."
"I know," she answered. He came around the counter, reaching for her. She turned slowly, tilting her head back to kiss him. And, as it always did, doubts he had about marrying her melted away into her beautiful eyes.
"I love you."
"I love you," she said, kissing him again. "In case . . . if I'm not pregnant, I went and got some birth control pills today . . . Your mother took me."
JJ was surprised, but nodded. "That was--"
"Uncomfortable?" she smiled.
"Yeah," he agreed, pulling her close and smiling against her hair.
"But we'll have to wait a few weeks to find out."
"We'll be okay. No matter what."
"I go to a Catholic school, JJ."
"Don't worry, our child will be just as discreet as we were."
Smiling, Roxanne hugged her husband close. "That wouldn't be discreet at all."
JJ came in, falling onto the bed, glad Roxanne hadn't bothered to put it up today. He was tired and dirty now that he was working for a moving company: Boddy's. They were a popular company because they would take care of anything, the finest antiques, lumber, furniture or old equipment that needed to be taken to the dump. Today it was broken wood - large, filthy, splintering slabs from a renovated house that needed to be carted away. With the amount of refuse, JJ thought it was a wonder that the house was still standing.
He knew he needed a shower, but Stanley Redop of apartment 7-C was always hogging to communal bathroom and was probably in there now. JJ groaned, slumping half onto the floor and yawning into the cover that matched the sheets, and pillow case that his mother had sewn his name into - when she thought he was going to be at college, and didn't want his things mixed up with his roommate's.
He talked to her weekly for the past two months from the phone booth down the street since they didn't have a phone. Quiet calls his father probably knew about, but didn't comment on. He'd seen his father only once since the day after their 'honeymoon'. Jack had been going into the shop. JJ bit his lip, then pushed himself into calling out.
His father looked his way, said nothing, and went inside.
Meg was the only family member he regularly saw, she was always dropping by, and she and Roxanne had grown close again. This ensured that, even when JJ was dead tired, he still had to wait until his wife and sister had discussed ever minuet thing under the sun. Only then was it that Meg was ready to go and he had to drive her home to avoid her taking a night bus in such a neighborhood.
His thoughts broke away when the door opened. Roxanne came in wearily. Her feet hurt from walking home, and her head hurt from the speech she'd received while getting escorted to the door.
"Hey," JJ said, reaching a hand out. She usually came and sat next to him, today she turned and put her purse on the counter. "What's wrong."
She looked away, staring hard at the tiny, dim kitchen. "I was fired."
"Again?!"
She turned completely away from him and he adjusted his tone, pushing back his dirty hair before speaking.
"Rox. This is the second one."
The first had been her stint as a waitress, and he hadn't blamed her for being fired. Her temper was quick when offended, and when someone reached out and grabbed her behind a plate of burgers and fries scalding his lap was one of the more merciful things that could have happened. Currently she'd been shampooing heads in Rita's Salon.
"I grabbed the wrong bottle and gave a graying fifty-year-old woman orange hair," she said quietly. When she looked back at JJ she had a faint smile. He just rubbed his temples. She meandered over to him and sat down. "We'll be okay."
He snorted out an unhappy laugh. "Least one of us thinks so."
"JJ--"
"You're starting school next week, you need a bunch of stuff. You don't even have a notebook."
"I have a pencil," she said brightly. "I took it from the diner."
"This isn't funny," he stated through an emerging grin.
"Then why are you smiling?" she asked cheekily, leaning over to him, and then pulling back when he went to kiss her. "You're all dirty."
"A couple dollars worth," he said, pulling himself up and going into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator door, but was faced only with a carton of eggs, a few bottles of Coke and a ridiculously large block of butter Rox had taken from the diner after uttering the immortal phrase, 'Fine, fire me! I quit anyway! And I'm taking this butter!'
He smirked, remember her spirited retelling as he reached for a drink. "What are we going to do?"
She sighed, sliding up onto the bed. "I don't know. We have thirty-four dollars in the cookie jar, and I can find something else. It's a big city."
"Yeah," he said, leaning onto the counter. The room was almost silent before the knock on the door sounded, followed quickly by Meg, beaming and bogged down with bags.
"Hi," Rox greeted brightly, bouncing up from the bed. JJ just tilted his bottle in greeting; his mind was full of the troubles they were encountering. While Roxanne could usually look ahead to a more optimistic situation JJ felt, as the man, he had to carry it all.
"Guess what?" Meg said excitedly, dropping her things and grabbing Rox's hands.
"I don't really have to guess, do I?"
"Not today," she said with a shake of her head. She was already dipping down; blindly digging until something sprung from the sack.
"It's beautiful!" Roxanne announced, reaching out to finger the green shade of the sweater.
"And yours," Meg nodded proudly.
"Really," she grinned, thinking it was a 'saw it and thought of you' type of gift. "That's so nice of you, Meg."
"Don't thank me just yet," she recommended with a firm nod. Reaching down once more she took up three of the four bags, shaking them out onto the bed. There were three blouses, two sweaters, and four skirts, along with a few intimate articles. "These are all yours."
JJ had come round at that, looking at the clothes. "From where?"
His voice was quiet, and Rox knew it wasn't a good sign.
"Mom," Meg said happily.
" . . . Take it back."
"What?" Roxanne asked, her eyes darting to her new clothing.
He looked at her, regret crossing his features before he became stern. "We can't accept this. We can't take anything from them, we'll do it ourselves."
"It's not from them!" Meg protested. "It's from Mom. Dad would drop if he knew she did this."
"You were just saying we had no money for school supplies!" Rox reminded.
"Got them!" Meg said quickly, grabbing the forth bag and dumping out notebooks and pens among other things.
JJ looked at them, silent for a moment before shaking his head. "No."
"JJ!"
He turned to Rox, the sound of his name as she said it was filled with . . . longing. She wanted the clothes; to her it wasn't a matter of pride.
"What if your mother walked in and offered us something? How would you feel?"
"Happy!" she countered. He grunted and went back to the teeny kitchen, grabbing his Coke. Rox spun on heel and charged up to him. "JJ, your mother is trying to be nice! You might not accept help - but accept NICE!"
She did know it was pride.
He looked at them, went over to a pile of his clothes, digging though them until he found something suitable and clean. "Keep them if you want."
He opened the door and strode out of the apartment, letting the door slam behind him. Roxanne sighed and looked at the outfits morosely.
"I can't take them."
"Come on, Rox! He's being silly."
"But he's my husband, Meg. I can't do something that's going to kill him," she said, plunking down on the bed. "My mother said I was too young to be married - and I'm too young to be a widow."
Meg laughed and sat next to her, picking at a brown and green plaid skirt. "This would look great on you."
"I know. But I can't," she said quietly. Then her eyes began to brighten, and a smile began to form. "It was nice of your mother to make me a loan."
"A loan?"
"Yes," Roxanne answered, standing and heading into the kitchen. She pulled down the chipped cookie jar they'd found in a closet along with some pots. She retrieved a five-dollar bill and waved it at Meg.
"No. Mom's not going to want it."
"Please," Rox pleaded. "If we're paying it back . . . it's not sucking the pride out of him."
Meg sighed and took the money. "I don't know."
"Take it. And if she tries to give it back just take it and buy something for yourself."
"Fine," Meg agreed. "But if I get to keep it . . . where's the rest?"
Rox smiled at her friend's effort to make light and shrugged. "When I get another job I'll give you some more."
Meg's face fell at that. "You got fired again?"
Rox nodded.
"How?"
"I turned a fifty-year-old woman into a clown. I grabbed the wrong bottle and turned her hair an unflattering shade."
"Like?"
"Orange," she grinned cheekily.
By the time JJ got back he was clean, and in a better mood. The fact that there had been hot water to spare helped considerably. When he got walked in, he saw two looks of contentment.
That meant something.
"What?"
"We figured it out," Roxanne helpfully supplied. He was willing to listen.
"And?"
"And we'll pay your mother back, five dollars a week."
"How much was all this stuff together?" JJ asked. He didn't care. He was just putting in one last protest. He wanted her to have these things, and he wanted to keep his pride like he was taught. He did.
**
They dropped Meg off half a block away from the house so that Jack wouldn't give her speeches or lectures for associating with them. JJ wasn't sure if he would, after all, they were siblings, and deserved to see each other. But just in case . . .
They stopped off at the grocery store and spent the better part of the cookie jar money. All that was left now was money for gas, and not a dollar more. By the time they returned home and put away the food, they were tired and lagging. Rox had no more stepped out of the kitchen before she was shedding her clothes.
She fell onto the bed with a groan. It'd been a long day and she was ready for some sleep. She didn't even bother to put on a gown before she crawled beneath the covers; she didn't often get a chance to wear one anyway. JJ watched her flutter her eyelids as he took off his shirt; he reached for his toothbrush to begin to scrub up. Rox's eyelids lifted at she saw her husband brushing away, something she forgot.
With a moan she pulled herself out of bed, thankful the air was still warm and kind to her bra and panty clad body. Reaching for her own brush she did a slow job of cleaning her teeth while JJ made his way to the bed, doffing his own clothes as he went. He awaited her approach as he watched her drooping features, and even her yawn with a mouth full of paste didn't waver his gaze.
Finally, after an unladylike spit and rinse in the sink she came over, crawling in and plopping on her stomach. She was happy. She savored the soft bed under her. She shifted to the perfect position.
She felt him kiss her shoulder.
"JJ," she moaned. She didn't want tempted, she wanted to sleep.
"Rox," he whispered. She felt his hand smoothing it's way up her back and she turned slightly into his touch.
"I'm goin' to sleep."
"You sure?" he asked, and she almost cursed the smirk in his voice. He kissed her shoulder again, moving closer, the warmth of his form making her moan in frustration at the feelings he was evoking. She turned on her back; her eyes still sealed as his lips trailed over her collarbone.
"We can't anyway," she yawned.
"Why not?" he asked, running his fingers over her belly and ribs.
"Because," she shifted, "We didn't have enough money left for rubbers."
His lips stopped his head lifted. "What?"
She finally opened her eyes, looking over. "We used the last one yesterday. And we didn't have enough money today."
" . . . There are other ways," he said with a slight smile.
"What other ways?" she asked as he curled his hand around her hip.
He grinned and kissed her again.
**
JJ woke up unpleasantly. His head rose from his pillow, feeling disoriented for a moment until he looked toward the kitchen. Rox stood in one of his button down shirts; she glared at him and banged the frying pan onto the stove. Last night came back and JJ sighed, dropping his head onto the pillow.
She pulled out a carton of eggs, nearly dropping them onto the counter and perhaps cracking a few. JJ groaned into the bed and pulled himself up, rubbing his hair as he reached for his underwear. He pulled them on and walked to the counter, staring across at his wife.
"I'm sorry."
"You promised!"
"Roxanne--"
"You promised!" she repeated.
"I know, I know," he said looking at the counter before shaking his head and looking at her. "But . . . it was . . . I was in the moment and it was hard to remember right then."
"It's two words, JJ! Pull. Out. Pull out. PULL OUT. Two words!" she shouted, throwing the eggs into the pan, then grunting when she realized she forgot the butter.
"You didn't say anything!"
"I said 'wait!' I'm sorry I wasn't loud enough, but maybe you were too busy to notice!"
"You were happy before that!"
"It wasn't an issue before that!" Roxanne said, annoyed and scraping out burned egg. "Besides, weren't you the one that said we have to be careful?"
"I wasn't thinking!"
"I know," she answered, coming round and picking out clothes. She went to the door, peeking out to make sure the bathroom was open and made a running start to it.
JJ looked at the burned pan and fell back onto the bed. He still had to go to work.
**
"Pryor residence."
"Patty," Roxanne said in relief, glad Mr. Pryor didn't pick up.
"Yeah?" the voice on the phone asked.
"This is Roxanne."
"Boy, are you lucky Dad's at work."
"Is Meg there?"
"How's JJ?"
"Fine. Can you put Meg on?"
"Geez. That's the last time I try and be nice." Rox heard the phone drop and Patty yelling in the background. After a moment she heard a panting Meg on the line.
"Rox?"
"Meg. I need you to ask your mother some questions."
"Why?"
"Because," Rox answered impatiently, "Now would NOT be the time to consult my mother."
"What is it?"
Roxanne bit her lip. "First question: How many times can you have sex before you get pregnant?"
"You don't know that?"
"You do?" Rox shot back.
"Well, no, but . . . you're married."
"They don't hand out a booklet with the ring, Meg."
Her friend was silent for a moment. "Anything else?"
"No. I don't know. I can't . . . my mind is a blank."
"Is JJ around?" She wondered if he was as worried as Rox sounded.
"No. He left for work. With eggshells in his breakfast," she sighed, leaning against the booth. "You have to ask, Meg."
"Why don't you? She's home."
"I can't ask her that."
"You have to."
Rox looked up and down the street, the people unaware of her problems. "Fine!"
"Tell me the answer," Meg said, before dropping the phone. Rox growled into the receiver and kicked the glass.
**
"Pryor! WATCH OUT!" his boss shouted.
JJ stopped before stepping too close to a staircase. He shifted, moving another way to set the mahogany cabinet against the wall, and let out a breath of relief he didn't tumble down the stairs.
"You take a break," Mr. Harbor said, pointing to JJ. "Get your head right."
"Yes, Sir," JJ answered, wiping perspiration from his brow with a gloved hand. The two other movers, Freddy and Michael, headed for the truck and the ten other pieces that had to be brought in.
The boss was right, he needed a break, he'd been thinking of Roxanne all day. She was upset with him, and although his excuse was viable - who could think at that moment?! It had been his suggestion to wait, and they were *not* ready for a child.
He'd put her in this situation. He'd married her; he's possibly gotten her pregnant. This was a mistake. He shouldn't have crumpled up that Military pamphlet; he shouldn't have listened to his heart. She would be so much better off right now, and afterward, when he'd come back from his duty, he could come back and make a better life for her.
But he loved her, and his brain wasn't powerful enough to control his heart.
**
The talk went . . . fine. As fine as it could while Helen gasped on the phone and Rox felt like the epitome of a woman with loose morals. It ended in an insistence that Roxanne go to the family doctor and be fitted with birth control. So, they were two nervous women in a waiting room.
"Mrs. Pryor?"
Helen looked up before Roxanne did. She tugged on the younger woman's sleeve. "I'll go in too."
Roxanne nodded, letting her mother-in-law follow her. Helen was worried sick, the rift between Jack and JJ was big enough - the fulfillment of his prediction would pull them even further apart. Besides that, she couldn't stop the thoughts that crossed her mind. She didn't want to be a grandmother now. She remembered her Nana Keller; she wore a wig, and had lost all of her teeth. She smelled like potatoes and licorice. *She* was still young . . . ish, she didn't want to have her child having a child now. Her very first baby.
"Mrs. Pryor," Dr. Greller greeted. He had a white coat, a clipboard, and a warm smile. He'd taken care of their family for years and gotten to be close to them. Close enough to squeeze in an extra appointment for the Pryors. "How have you been? What seems to be the problem?"
"It's not me," she said with a choked word and tight smile. "It's my daughter-in-law, Roxanne."
Rox stepped forward with a shuffle and Dr. Greller's bushy eyebrows lifted in surprise. "Wasn't it just yesterday JJ was in for a physical?"
"More like three months," Helen sighed.
"And now he's married," he continued, taking the news in a far more positive light than everyone else did. "Isn't that funny? They grow up so fast these days."
"Very fast," Helen agreed, less enthusiastically.
"So what can I do to help the new member of the family?"
Helen waited for Rox to respond, but got no sound. She spoke up instead. "She needs birth control. I was wondering if you could-"
"Fine. Fine. I'll take care of it," he answered, scribbling a note for his nurse.
"We'll also need a pregnancy test," Helen added. His head and eyebrow lifted at that, but he just nodded.
"All right. I'll need to ask some questions."
Rox nodded and finally broke away from Helen, not wanting her to witness any questions that might concern her sex life with JJ. "I can do this myself."
Helen nodded and slipped out.
"Roxanne, have a seat on the bed," the doctor said, finally reading from his clipboard - and the information Rox had filled out earlier. "You're sixteen?"
She nodded, but he didn't continue with a negative comment. Dr. Greller had been in practice since WW2, when everyone one was scared, packing off to war, hardly out of high school, and marrying their young sweethearts because they needed to know there was something to come back to.
"How long have you been married?"
"A little over two months," she answered, climbing up.
"And when was your last missed period?"
"Actually," she said, clearing her throat. "I haven't missed anything. We . . . last night."
"Your last period then?"
"The twenty-second."
"Okay. We can't do a test for weeks. Roxanne, does JJ know you're here?" It was a question he had to ask, it was the husband's place to choose. It was clear literature that came along with the new medical technology a few years back.
"We both agreed it's too early for children," she said, shifting a little, annoyed that he had to ask that question and she was assumed unqualified to decide herself. Rox slumped back a little. "I . . . I asked Mrs. Pryor, but she wouldn't answer. Maybe you could . . ."
He looked at her, setting his pen down. "Do you have questions, Roxanne?"
"A few . . . How many times can you have sex without . . . help, before you get pregnant?"
"You're worried, so I assume you think once is enough."
"Is it?" she asked quietly.
"Yes."
Roxanne sunk in her seat.
**
She lay on the bed, looking up on the ceiling. She hadn't managed to get much done after Helen had brought her home. The doctor had explained the different options in detail. Among them the diaphragm, and the birth- control pill, she decided on the second. She had yet to take one; she couldn't until enough time had passed to have a pregnancy test performed. Until then, she had to use condoms, and hope for the best.
But would it be so bad? She reached down to cup her stomach; it would be a little someone, a mix of her and JJ. She smiled in spite of herself. Those new school clothes wouldn't fit. She laughed to herself and got up, she had to clean, and look for a part-time job.
She'd just finished the dishes when JJ came in. He wasn't covered in dirt, he'd been moving polished, cared-for antiques today - he was drenched in sweat.
"Hi." He was unsure as he walked in, but Rox opened the refrigerator and pulled him out a Coke. Popping it open she set it on the counter.
"Hi."
He reached for the bottle with a curious look. "Still mad at me?"
She sighed, looking at him and shrugging. "I don't know."
"I'm sorry."
"I know," she answered. He came around the counter, reaching for her. She turned slowly, tilting her head back to kiss him. And, as it always did, doubts he had about marrying her melted away into her beautiful eyes.
"I love you."
"I love you," she said, kissing him again. "In case . . . if I'm not pregnant, I went and got some birth control pills today . . . Your mother took me."
JJ was surprised, but nodded. "That was--"
"Uncomfortable?" she smiled.
"Yeah," he agreed, pulling her close and smiling against her hair.
"But we'll have to wait a few weeks to find out."
"We'll be okay. No matter what."
"I go to a Catholic school, JJ."
"Don't worry, our child will be just as discreet as we were."
Smiling, Roxanne hugged her husband close. "That wouldn't be discreet at all."