Tomorrow

Pairing: SchuxYouji, implied RanKen, past SchuxKen

Warning: Death, Angst and Shounen-ai

Standard Disclaimer Applies

The blond's hand shook as he lit the cigarette, trying to keep his calm composure. He wasn't too fond of funerals after all. There was just something about it all that seemed faked somehow. All these people coming down to see the dead, crying over him even though they never truly known him.

Would they cry if they knew that the dead was one of the damned? Would they cry if they knew that the dead was an assassin? A killer? Would they cry then?

If they wouldn't...then this world truly is a hypocritical place.

Why shouldn't you mourn an assassin? Especially one who has given up his past to serve the ungratifying nation. Fought and killed for the multitudes who are able to sleep safely at night, while his own sleep his plagued with nightmares. Of the screams of those who died in his hands and those who will...

'Heh. Who am I talking about now? Me or Ken?' The eldest member of Weiss sighed softly, closing his eyes as he began to think about the smiling assassin. His lively attitude and flaring temper. He was just so....alive.

And the picture that greeted him as he walked out into the street in the middle of the night, looking for whatever it was that made that noise that disturbed his sleep. The mass of blood, brown hair and....pieces....God, he didn't even want to think about it.

He'd seen death and destruction, he saw it everyday and it even haunted his sleep, but he never, ever thought he would see it by his feet and the mess itself was someone who was close to him. A teammate. A brother.

He barely was able to stop Omi. Actually, he had been unable to stop the youngest member from seeing the blood and gore that had once been their teammate. But he did shield him from viewing it for too long, held him tightly in his embrace even as the young one screamed with all his might of the horror he had witnessed, even for a mere couple of seconds.

What he was really guilty of, however, was that he didn't manage to stop Aya. The sword-wielding assassin had been jerked awake by the sound of Omi's scream. He barely noticed the fact that Ken was nowhere in sight, as his assassin skills took over. It was in that last moment, as he approached the front door in lightning speed that he realized Ken was missing.

But by that time he had already yanked the door open, saw Youji holding Omi tightly within his embrace even as the young assassin screamed with all his might, clutching Youji like the world was about to end. And as his gaze shifted to the vision of red near the two assassins' feet, he knew that his world ended there and then.

He noticed the attire well. The Manchester United soccer T-shirt that he had given the brunet a few weeks back and the black shorts that he usually wore to sleep. And his hair, the soft locks that he would always bury his face in when the world became too much to handle. And the blood that pooled around him, as his body laid, facedown on the pavement.

The scream that ripped out of the core of his being was that of a shattered heart and a broken soul. None of them noticed the presence of the ambulance until they were all ushered back inside the flower shop and even then, they didn't notice the Kritiker agents who busied themselves about and asked question here and there. The questions fell to deaf ears, but none of them really pushed.

It wasn't until Manx arrived that reality finally settled in.

Ken was dead.

This was where he found himself, by the gates of the cemetery and yet he dare not venture any further. Deaths of others, he understood. He wouldn't accept them, but he would at least understand.

Weiss kills those wicked beasts, or at least, those who are labeled as such. And their deaths he understood. They paid for their actions and died in the hands of other killers, protectors and yet killers anyway. Other assassins, those who worked as Weiss did, dead in the line of duty, he understood. Hell, he even understood why Asuka had to die.

It was...hard would be an understatement now, wouldn't it? But it was possible for him to finally move on, though that old hurt still lingered and he would poke and prod at it now and again. Once a masochist, always a masochist.

This death, however, he didn't understand. Manx and all of the other higher-level Kritiker officials refused to tell them anything. Although Manx and Birman both looked saddened by Ken's death, they refused to disclose any information that would indicate as to what drove Ken to suicide.

That wasn't the way...Ken wasn't suppose to die like that. Despite everything, he had always thought, secretly, that Ken would be the last to die out of all of them. He thought that Ken would outlive them all. Hell, he had his nicotine addiction to drive him straight into the grave. Aya or Ran...or whatever it is that he liked to be called, was the suicidal one. He was the one that didn't care what happens to him. Ken was brash, sure, but he had found some sort of restrain over the years. And Omi...heck, the kid was bound to worry himself into an early grave. He probably had an ulcer he knew nothing about.

He smiled softly, recalling this particular train of thoughts. He had been in the flower shop when he thought of it, smoking his usual brand of cigarettes with Omi chastising him from one corner, Ran glaring at him from the other and Ken smiling and teasing right beside him.

And to think, that empty spot beside him would no longer be filled.

Ken...was dead...

"You mourn the dead in the strangest place." A nasal voice spoke up, causing Youji to whip around suddenly, eyes widening when sight confirmed the voice he thought he recognized.

"Schuldich!" He hissed, dropping the cigarette and hand flying to his watch. The redhead held up both his hands as a sign of truce.

"I'm just paying respect to the dead, Kudo. No need to act that way." He muttered, even as he walked over to where Youji was standing. The eldest member of Weiss retained his stance, however, watching the Schwarz telepath with guarded defenses.

"Gott!" Schuldich exclaimed in exasperation, throwing his hands in the air. "I said I wasn't going to do anything! Relax, Kudo!" He shook his head. "Ken was right about you."

"What did you say?" Youji asked incredulously.

"Ken was right about you." Schuldich repeated, a small smirk on his face.

"When the hell did he speak to you?"

"There are things about Ken that you don't know, Kudo." Schuldich said slowly. "Do you even know that he used to visit us? The members of Schwarz?"

"What the hell! That's bullshit! Why would Ken want to betray Weiss?"

"Himmel." He muttered. "Talking to us doesn't mean that he betrayed all of you, you simpleton."

"Simpleton?" Sputtered Youji.

"Ja, the katze was looking out for all of you. And for us, as well. You might want to ask Kritiker for further details, they will tell you why Ken approached us in the first place?"

"Why should I listen to you?" Demanded Youji, yet his voice lost the accusing tone that it had just moments ago. There was something about Schuldich's tone of voice that told him that the German was not joking. Nor was this some sort of a trap either.

"Reiji Takatori didn't pay too well. We've been working as a Kritiker assassin team undercover. Ken knew about this. I don't know how exactly, but he knew." He paused. "You can check Kritiker's records. It should be under the file name Rozen."

"Roses."

"Ja." Schuldich paused. "That and other things."

"What other things?" He let out a bitter laugh.

"Just some things about Ken that you don't know."

"And what the hell would someone like you know about Ken?" Sharp eyes glared at the blond. The intense gaze caused him to stagger back slightly. There was so much anger in that gaze and yet it was laced with sadness. Almost like the sadness...of losing someone you love.

There was a sharp intake of breath from Youji's part. He recognized that look, all right. Schuldich's eyes were exactly like his, after Asuka's death. But why?

"Why?" He voiced the thought aloud.

"Why what?"

"Why would you react this way? For one of Weiss?" Schuldich pulled out a pack of cigarette from his pocket and laughed slightly.

"I'm not this way because of one of Weiss." He said dryly. "I'm acting like this because it's Ken."

"Why do you care so much?"

"Well aren't you just the well of questions?" The German muttered as he patted his pockets for a lighter. Irritated and wanting the damn German to answer the question, Youji took out his own lighter and tossed it at the German. Then he pulled one out for himself.

"Danke." He muttered, before lighting his cigarette. He took his time enjoying the first drag before handing the lighter back. And it wasn't until he exhaled that he answered his question.

"You don't know what it's like." Schuldich said, voice weary. "I saw the change in him, I heard his every thoughts. He never screamed in his sleep. Never pushed away the dark creatures that roamed in his mind, although he never did embrace them. He simply...was."

"Then why did he kill himself?" Youji demanded, feeling himself go sick at the telepath's words and at the thought that he actually believed him.

Schuldich took some time before answering, knowing that this was hard not on Kudou, but on himself as well. "There are two different kinds of insanity." He began softly. "One is lunacy, the inability to control oneself. Driven by your own thoughts, by your demons. The second simply coexists with these thoughts, though not necessarily paying any heed to them." He paused again, looking directly into angry jade eyes. "There is a reason why he was always paired off with Berserker. They are different sides of the same coin."

Youji's gaze flew down to the cigarette he still had in his hand, still unlit. He tossed it away angrily and glared at Schuldich again. "So you're telling me Siberian was unhinged? That he could have snapped anytime?" His voice rose slightly and his eyes glowed with a dangerous glint. "I lived with him for four years and not once have I seen him licking his knives or stab himself like your little pet does."

Schuldich ignored the comment. "He didn't necessarily lick knives, but he did use them." He focused his piercing gaze unwaveringly at the other male. "Surely you've read the autopsy report. The cuts and bruises all over his body were recent. You haven't had a mission in several weeks, so you can't pass them off as mission-related injuries. They were self-inflicted."

"Shut up." Youji whispered, feeling tears stinging his eyes.

"Did you know that, Balinese? Did you know that your precious Siberian felt the need to cut himself? To see his own blood flow?"

"Shut up!" Youji snapped, louder this time.

"Are you still going to deny it? Do you still think that he was truly sane?"

"SHUT UP!" Roared the blond as he lunged at the telepath. Schuldich could have easily stepped aside, yet he let the Weiss assassin grab him by the throat and shove him against the wall.

"He was never himself, Kudou. Not since Kritiker took him in, not since he had his first kill. He was inching his way towards insanity and beyond it." His voice was uncharacteristically soft and for brief moments, his German accent was evident. Whenever he is upset, Schuldich noticed that his accent would start to show. Perhaps it was some sort of defensive mechanism, of going back to your roots in times of trouble.

"He knew more than any of us did. He was never the naive katze we all perceived him as. He was just...he cared too much, about everyone else. Everyone but himself."

Youji looked away, he didn't want to look at the other male. He focused his gaze instead on the ground and on the cigarette that Schuldich was smoking, the one he dropped during their scuffle. It was slowly burning out.

The German dusted off his clothes and looked to one side. "There were meant to be two Berserker. One of Black and one of White." He paused, looking at Youji. "Remember that well, Balinese."

He began to walk away. Youji looked up, finally, his face weary. "Kudo?"

"What?"

"Ken was right about another thing, too."

"And what is that, Schuldich?" He slowly turned to look at the German, only to find that Schuldich had merely stopped walking, his back towards him. So he had no idea what Schuldich's expression was when he answered the question.

"You're pretty good looking." Green eyes widened, jaw falling slack. But unable to help it, Youji began to laugh. And it wasn't faked or bitter, true laughter rang clear in the night, as Schuldich walked away, a smile on his face. He left behind one Weiss member, wiser and certainly with a new outlook on life.

Jade eyes danced with a different light as the brunette threw his head back and laughed. "Schu, you're something else." He said through his chuckles, shaking his head. The German reached out to brush away brown hair.

"It's not fair, you know, katze." He said with a long-suffering sigh.

"What is?" Ken asked, cocking his head to the side with a confused look.

"What does Brad have that I don't? Or Abyssinian for that matter?" Jade eyes darkened slightly with sadness and his gaze turned elsewhere.

"I'm sorry, Schuldich. I really am. Any man or woman is lucky to have your affections, but..." Ken sighed.

"You love them more." Schuldich said, voice uncharacteristically gentle. Ken nodded, eyes filled with sorrow and regret for the German. "Don't look at me like that, liebe. I was only teasing. I know that you love those two stupid ice statues more than you could ever love me."

Suddenly, without a warning, the shorter male threw his arms around his one-time lover, holding him tight. His eyes misted slightly with tears and Schuldich didn't have to see it to know it.

"I'm sorry." He whispered, voice choked.

"Don't be. Don't you ever be sorry for anything."

The grass was still wet from the downpour the night before. Yet he moved almost noiselessly towards the gray headstone. A bouquet of gentians held tightly in one hand, he used the other to remove his sunglasses as he peered down at the stone.

He sunk down to a crouch, reaching out and letting gloved hands touch the words inscribed on the stone.

Fujimiya Kenji

Our Comrade in life, our Guardian Angel in death.

At the ends of this world, destiny stirs,

We might pass each other once again.

He smiled, softly. Ran had given them the name. After all, there was no point in burying Ken in his original, empty grave. Ken's original family had lived without him for years by this time, there was no reason for Kritiker to reveal that in reality Ken was still alive for all that time, only to deliver the news of his death once more.

There would be too many questions left unanswered and there would be more heartbreak. Youji sighed wistfully, he knew one male in particular who was stuck in the same mood. Perhaps this time it will be permanent.

Youji did not confront Ran about the newfound revelation. From what he could see and from what he got out of Schuldich's own assessment, Ran never truly wanted to hurt Ken. It was one of those sick jokes that life had to offer.

In fact, Ken was one, by himself. Youji didn't mean this in a bad way, however. But the brunet was just a walking contradiction. He seemed to be the most normal out of all of them, yet he was the one who lived with voices in his head and walked with presence looming over him.

'There were meant to be two Berserker. One of Black and one of White.' Schuldich had said, the night before in that haunting tone of voice.

Was my voice really that bad last night?

"You've never heard of privacy, have you?" Youji asked dryly as he got to his feet.

"Looks like not." The telepath replied simply, walking to the blond's side. His eyes softened slightly at the sight of the cross. "It's funny, really." He muttered. "Our Berserker tried his best to make God cry. And your Berserker tried to make Him smile."

"Ken made everyone smiled." Youji said. "Including our ice-cube leader and your whole team."

"That's true." This time the jaded tone was gone, all that was left was a wistful tone. The German sounded almost lost. Youji regarded him for a moment, taking in this rare sight of a melancholic Schuldich.

Gone were the jeering tone, the mocking smirk and the belittling gaze that he always wore. He looked almost normal. Almost...human.

Suddenly, the gaze shifted on the blond himself, eyes widening slightly in surprise, indicating he had not realized that Youji was watching him. But then a lazy smile decorated his face and he cocked his head to the side.

"Like what you see?" He asked with a tease. Youji shook his head and closed his eyes, but he couldn't help the smile that stole on his face. But he didn't expect the soft pressure of lips that soon followed however, even as his eyes opened in surprise. But instinct soon took over, as he grabbed the German's collar to pull him closer.

The contact was broken seconds later, as they stared at each other with half-smirks on their faces. "Would you believe me if I were to tell you that Ken saw this?" Youji chuckled, the first in a while.

"I wouldn't be surprised." He muttered, before leaning forward for another kiss.

'Danke, lieb.' Not too far away, the boy in thought smiled.

Title is from the same-titled song that played at the very end of Glühen. It's Aki's favorite song and the lyrics have some significance after all. And the last two lines on Ken's headstone, is taken from the song.

I don't remember where I obtained the translation. If the translator(s) reads this, please let me know and I'll take it out of the text if necessary. – Aki

Any thoughts? Reviews are greatly appreciated.

~Solaris~