Interlude 1:
Setting: Cheap motel room somewhere in New Mexico.
Michael: I should have known, there are two beds and four of us. It's going to be a slash fic for sure.
Max: Calm down, it's not going to be slash. The rules are against it. Really, you're getting even more paranoid.
Kyle: It's not paranoia if they're really out to get you.
Alex: You're not helping any.
Kyle: Wasn't trying.
Alex: Well, I'd try if I were you. Considering what all I've found out about our author for the day.
Michael: What'd you find out?
Alex: Well, I was checking the Roswellian Fanfiction Space and found comments from our author, apparently he's going to be having us strip.
Kyle, Max and Michael: STRIP?
Alex: Yes, strip. And what's more, I checked out his computer. Gotta love transdimensional plothole laptop computers. It seems he has written adult fanfic before, but no Roswell. But it was so disturbing I won't subject you to knowledge of what it was.
Michael: Nothing can be as bad as what I've been through in slash fics.
Alex: Don't bet on it, I think I'd rather live through a slash fic with all of you than ever read that again.
Group Shudders At Thought Of Something That Bad
Alex: Moving on, I checked out his hard drive thoroughly. This guy is looney, he has about twenty unfinished Buffy fanfics started, most with good plots. He also has a rough outline for another Roswell story, a crossover with Stargate SG-1, Indiana Jones and 7 Days in the same fic with us. Also some separate ones with just 7 Days and us and Stargate and us. Also mentions a Mothman.
Michael: At least he isn't throwing X-Files in too.
Max: What's wrong with the X-Files crossover stories? Some are cool.
Kyle: Yeah, besides, Scully is a total babe.
Michael: Kyle, you have women on the mind a little too much. Anyway, it's not that I don't like them it's just that it seems everyone is writing them, plus, isn't X-Files mentioned in our core universe? It's going outside of realism.
Alex: Oh, yeah, a fanfic about teenage aliens has to be realistic. Let's see, oh, the most disturbing things I found on his hard drive were his picture and mp3 collections.
Michael: No pictures of me I hope, Courtney was enough of a stalker.
Kyle: Quit bringing that up, dude you know you loved it. Now shut up so we can see if we're going to survive or not.
Max: Maybe Maria should find out how much you talk about Courtney…
Michael: I'm quiet.
Alex: Thank you, as I was saying. The pictures aren't bad, mostly celebrity. Lots of WB, no hardcore pics at all which is odd considering he's, well, a guy. But he has them all in order and such in a way that is just not right. And, seriously, who needs a over 400 pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Group Raises Hands
Alex: Bite me. The music though, that scared me almost as much as the story.
Max: Don't tell me it was all Ricky Martin and teeny bopper music.
Kyle: Don't tell me it was country music lacking.
Michael: Don't tell me it was lacking Metallica.
Alex: Worse, he has all of them and in the same playlist. I'm sorry, but Metallica, Stabbing Westward, Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park DO NOT belong on the same playlist as the Dixie Chicks, the Eagles, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, and. LeAnn Rimes. That's just… WRONG.
Group Shudders
Michael: That's an insult to Metallica!
Kyle: Forget Metallica, what about the poor Dixie Chicks?
Max: I'm getting a headache just thinking of what that would sound like.
Alex: Exactly, so, I think we are for the most part safe from our author doing anything slashy, but other than that I think we're in danger of disturbing mental images happening. I mean, our author is a psychopath!
Author Voice Over: DID I FORGET TO TELL YOU ALL THAT I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ALL DO AND SAY AT ANY GIVEN TIME DURING THE DOWN TIME OF THE FIC?
Group: Oh $#!&!!!!
Author Voice Over: YOU SAID IT. GET READY, EVIL AUTHOR TIME.
Group: We're dead.
Setting: Cheap motel room somewhere in New Mexico.
Michael: I should have known, there are two beds and four of us. It's going to be a slash fic for sure.
Max: Calm down, it's not going to be slash. The rules are against it. Really, you're getting even more paranoid.
Kyle: It's not paranoia if they're really out to get you.
Alex: You're not helping any.
Kyle: Wasn't trying.
Alex: Well, I'd try if I were you. Considering what all I've found out about our author for the day.
Michael: What'd you find out?
Alex: Well, I was checking the Roswellian Fanfiction Space and found comments from our author, apparently he's going to be having us strip.
Kyle, Max and Michael: STRIP?
Alex: Yes, strip. And what's more, I checked out his computer. Gotta love transdimensional plothole laptop computers. It seems he has written adult fanfic before, but no Roswell. But it was so disturbing I won't subject you to knowledge of what it was.
Michael: Nothing can be as bad as what I've been through in slash fics.
Alex: Don't bet on it, I think I'd rather live through a slash fic with all of you than ever read that again.
Group Shudders At Thought Of Something That Bad
Alex: Moving on, I checked out his hard drive thoroughly. This guy is looney, he has about twenty unfinished Buffy fanfics started, most with good plots. He also has a rough outline for another Roswell story, a crossover with Stargate SG-1, Indiana Jones and 7 Days in the same fic with us. Also some separate ones with just 7 Days and us and Stargate and us. Also mentions a Mothman.
Michael: At least he isn't throwing X-Files in too.
Max: What's wrong with the X-Files crossover stories? Some are cool.
Kyle: Yeah, besides, Scully is a total babe.
Michael: Kyle, you have women on the mind a little too much. Anyway, it's not that I don't like them it's just that it seems everyone is writing them, plus, isn't X-Files mentioned in our core universe? It's going outside of realism.
Alex: Oh, yeah, a fanfic about teenage aliens has to be realistic. Let's see, oh, the most disturbing things I found on his hard drive were his picture and mp3 collections.
Michael: No pictures of me I hope, Courtney was enough of a stalker.
Kyle: Quit bringing that up, dude you know you loved it. Now shut up so we can see if we're going to survive or not.
Max: Maybe Maria should find out how much you talk about Courtney…
Michael: I'm quiet.
Alex: Thank you, as I was saying. The pictures aren't bad, mostly celebrity. Lots of WB, no hardcore pics at all which is odd considering he's, well, a guy. But he has them all in order and such in a way that is just not right. And, seriously, who needs a over 400 pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar.
Group Raises Hands
Alex: Bite me. The music though, that scared me almost as much as the story.
Max: Don't tell me it was all Ricky Martin and teeny bopper music.
Kyle: Don't tell me it was country music lacking.
Michael: Don't tell me it was lacking Metallica.
Alex: Worse, he has all of them and in the same playlist. I'm sorry, but Metallica, Stabbing Westward, Limp Bizkit and Linkin Park DO NOT belong on the same playlist as the Dixie Chicks, the Eagles, Nitty Gritty Dirt Band, and. LeAnn Rimes. That's just… WRONG.
Group Shudders
Michael: That's an insult to Metallica!
Kyle: Forget Metallica, what about the poor Dixie Chicks?
Max: I'm getting a headache just thinking of what that would sound like.
Alex: Exactly, so, I think we are for the most part safe from our author doing anything slashy, but other than that I think we're in danger of disturbing mental images happening. I mean, our author is a psychopath!
Author Voice Over: DID I FORGET TO TELL YOU ALL THAT I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT YOU ALL DO AND SAY AT ANY GIVEN TIME DURING THE DOWN TIME OF THE FIC?
Group: Oh $#!&!!!!
Author Voice Over: YOU SAID IT. GET READY, EVIL AUTHOR TIME.
Group: We're dead.