Interlude 19: The Search For Shatner's Talent (a.k.a. A Fool's Errand)
Setting: A dark desert highway, cool wind in their hair, the warm smell of colitas rising up through the air, in the distance is a shimmering light…
Kyle: I think the Author is dead.
Max: What?
Kyle: He hasn't been writing any for awhile and we've been safe. Other than being trapped in the "Hotel California".
Michael: Hey, that reminds me, what the hell are "colitas" that are mentioned in the song?
Alex: Colitas are something to eat.
Max: How do you know?
Alex: I know things.
Kyle: That reminds me, how'd you know those girls would be big tippers in the fic? I get the feelings the writer didn't come up with that, he's not that orignal.
Alex: I just know things.
Michael: I'm going to open a can of whoop @$$ on you boy.
Max: Hey, stop. Anyway, what were you saying about the Author being dead?
Kyle: Well, he hasn't been writing or updating lately. Though if he is alive I think we're facing a reprieve for awhile. He said he wouldn't update until another fic, you know which one, is updated. So, we're looking at some down time.
Michael: Cool. Let's party with some pink champagne on ice.
Alex: Who will be the pretty boys?
Max: I'll be the Night Man.
Unknown Person Enters (UP)
UP: Can I *hiccup* stab the beast?
Kyle: Who're you?
UP: Oops, wrong room. *hiccup* Y'all's is nice, but self-insertion ficcies is nasty. *hiccup*
Group: THE AUTHOR
UP: Hehe, sorry, I'll go now.
Author Disappears
Michael: MAN, we could have killed him. I wanted to kill him.
Michael Proceeds To Do A Pout And Brood Session That Would Make Angel Grimace.
Kyle: We'll kill him next time, don't worry. But I think he was drunk.
Max: That explains how he writes.
Alex: And why we're trapped in "Hotel California" I guess. Could be worse.
Michael: How's that?
Alex: He could be a Marilyn Manson fan, or Gospel…
Group Shudders
Kyle: So, he's alive and drunk. Let's hope he doesn't write anything else tonight.
Max: Anyone want to bet on what he's been drinking?
Michael: Well, he's from the South so I'd guess moonshine.
Alex: Nah, he'd be drunk on Smurfs, they're a running gag in this.
Kyle: Gag is right.
Max: I think I'm drunk too, that was actually a good pun Kyle.
Kyle: Thank you, I think. But you know who I feel sorry for? Male Smurfs.
Michael: Do I even want to know why?
Alex: I'll bite, why do you feel sorry for them Kyle?
Kyle: Think about it, there is only one female and you know they all have blue balls.
Silence To The Joke
Alex: That's a sad joke, blue balls are no laughing matter.
Max, Michael, Alex And Kyle: Amen
Max: How did we get to the topic of Smurf balls?
Alex: We were talking about the author being drunk.
Michael: I think we all should get drunk.
Alex: You all get drunk, I'll take pictures.
Kyle: Don't make me hurt you Whitman, then I'd have no one to sing with.
Max: I could make a bad comment here.
Michael: I'll make the comment for you then, "You two like singing in the shower together?"
Alex: Michael, you sound jealous.
Kyle: Yeah Mi… WAIT, I don't sing in the shower with anyone.
Max: You picked that up fast. Let's stop bashing each other and bash the last part.
Michael: You certainly got bashed in the last part.
Alex: Man, that was cold what happened to you.
Kyle: You deserved it though, hitting a guy in the nuts with a baseball just ain't cool.
Max: But I didn't do it!
Group: Suuuuuuuuuure you didn't.
Max: It was the story! It wasn't me.
Kyle: Still man, how'd you like it if someone had cracked "little Yoda" with a baseball?
Max: "Little Yoda"?
Michael: That's what they're calling your *ahem* on the board.
Max: WHAT?
Alex: Yep, you've got a little Yoda in your pants.
Kyle: I wonder what they call mine since I flashed too.
Michael: They haven't mentioned it, apparently there wasn't much to see.
Kyle: HEY.
Alex: Yeah, I mean, they care enough to call Max's by a name. But yours', well, it must not have been memorable.
Max: If mine is a "Little Yoda", though it's not little I was nervous and it was cold, but anyway, if they call mine that, yours' must be, what, "Non-Existent King" or something?
Michael: They couldn't find it to give it a name!
All But Kyle Start Laughing.
Kyle: I'LL SHOW YOU HOW "NON-EXISTENT" IT IS!!
Kyle Stands Up And Drops His Pants
DUE TO THE RATING LIMIT ON THE BOARD THE REST OF THIS SCENE HAS BEEN DELETED. Sorry. Use your own imagination as to how much, or how little, Kyle shows.
Setting: A dark desert highway, cool wind in their hair, the warm smell of colitas rising up through the air, in the distance is a shimmering light…
Kyle: I think the Author is dead.
Max: What?
Kyle: He hasn't been writing any for awhile and we've been safe. Other than being trapped in the "Hotel California".
Michael: Hey, that reminds me, what the hell are "colitas" that are mentioned in the song?
Alex: Colitas are something to eat.
Max: How do you know?
Alex: I know things.
Kyle: That reminds me, how'd you know those girls would be big tippers in the fic? I get the feelings the writer didn't come up with that, he's not that orignal.
Alex: I just know things.
Michael: I'm going to open a can of whoop @$$ on you boy.
Max: Hey, stop. Anyway, what were you saying about the Author being dead?
Kyle: Well, he hasn't been writing or updating lately. Though if he is alive I think we're facing a reprieve for awhile. He said he wouldn't update until another fic, you know which one, is updated. So, we're looking at some down time.
Michael: Cool. Let's party with some pink champagne on ice.
Alex: Who will be the pretty boys?
Max: I'll be the Night Man.
Unknown Person Enters (UP)
UP: Can I *hiccup* stab the beast?
Kyle: Who're you?
UP: Oops, wrong room. *hiccup* Y'all's is nice, but self-insertion ficcies is nasty. *hiccup*
Group: THE AUTHOR
UP: Hehe, sorry, I'll go now.
Author Disappears
Michael: MAN, we could have killed him. I wanted to kill him.
Michael Proceeds To Do A Pout And Brood Session That Would Make Angel Grimace.
Kyle: We'll kill him next time, don't worry. But I think he was drunk.
Max: That explains how he writes.
Alex: And why we're trapped in "Hotel California" I guess. Could be worse.
Michael: How's that?
Alex: He could be a Marilyn Manson fan, or Gospel…
Group Shudders
Kyle: So, he's alive and drunk. Let's hope he doesn't write anything else tonight.
Max: Anyone want to bet on what he's been drinking?
Michael: Well, he's from the South so I'd guess moonshine.
Alex: Nah, he'd be drunk on Smurfs, they're a running gag in this.
Kyle: Gag is right.
Max: I think I'm drunk too, that was actually a good pun Kyle.
Kyle: Thank you, I think. But you know who I feel sorry for? Male Smurfs.
Michael: Do I even want to know why?
Alex: I'll bite, why do you feel sorry for them Kyle?
Kyle: Think about it, there is only one female and you know they all have blue balls.
Silence To The Joke
Alex: That's a sad joke, blue balls are no laughing matter.
Max, Michael, Alex And Kyle: Amen
Max: How did we get to the topic of Smurf balls?
Alex: We were talking about the author being drunk.
Michael: I think we all should get drunk.
Alex: You all get drunk, I'll take pictures.
Kyle: Don't make me hurt you Whitman, then I'd have no one to sing with.
Max: I could make a bad comment here.
Michael: I'll make the comment for you then, "You two like singing in the shower together?"
Alex: Michael, you sound jealous.
Kyle: Yeah Mi… WAIT, I don't sing in the shower with anyone.
Max: You picked that up fast. Let's stop bashing each other and bash the last part.
Michael: You certainly got bashed in the last part.
Alex: Man, that was cold what happened to you.
Kyle: You deserved it though, hitting a guy in the nuts with a baseball just ain't cool.
Max: But I didn't do it!
Group: Suuuuuuuuuure you didn't.
Max: It was the story! It wasn't me.
Kyle: Still man, how'd you like it if someone had cracked "little Yoda" with a baseball?
Max: "Little Yoda"?
Michael: That's what they're calling your *ahem* on the board.
Max: WHAT?
Alex: Yep, you've got a little Yoda in your pants.
Kyle: I wonder what they call mine since I flashed too.
Michael: They haven't mentioned it, apparently there wasn't much to see.
Kyle: HEY.
Alex: Yeah, I mean, they care enough to call Max's by a name. But yours', well, it must not have been memorable.
Max: If mine is a "Little Yoda", though it's not little I was nervous and it was cold, but anyway, if they call mine that, yours' must be, what, "Non-Existent King" or something?
Michael: They couldn't find it to give it a name!
All But Kyle Start Laughing.
Kyle: I'LL SHOW YOU HOW "NON-EXISTENT" IT IS!!
Kyle Stands Up And Drops His Pants
DUE TO THE RATING LIMIT ON THE BOARD THE REST OF THIS SCENE HAS BEEN DELETED. Sorry. Use your own imagination as to how much, or how little, Kyle shows.