Ranma & Kaneda
By Ron Dow75
From an idea by James M. Zema,
Unauthorized, but allowed.
08: A Sight Best Not Beheld
Dogs were barking nearby. It was a cool late afternoon,
and Kane-chan was out walking in a very pink jumper,
white blouse, calf-high stocks and black ballet slippers.
She was also wearing a bra and panties. This was
something she was SURE everybody was aware of. Wearing
lingerie was still new to her. In public, anyway. (There
were the three times SHE (not HE) had tried on her
sisters'--Just to get an idea what girls had to put up
with! And she didn't even want to THINK about what almost
became her fourth time!)
And everybody's going to be more aware if I fiddle with
this damned bra! The thing never quite lands where it
should be. The other things don't make that much trouble
when they poof onto me.
She looked around for the solution to her problem; water.
They were headed away from the local business district
and towards her home. The black haired guy in Chinese
clothes and a bookbag on his back was walking the walls
ahead of her. Ranma-kun was ignoring her ...Or maybe he
was thinking about how simple it was to turn HER into the
girl!
When Ranma said that hot water turns her into a guy, I
thought that was the same kind of hot water that turns me
into a girl! Ranma DID say we have the same curse. So WHY
is steaming tap water's enough to take away my
manhood!!?!
Ranma was lucky. It took real hot water to take away her
favored form. If it weren't for Saotome's brainwashing,
Ranma'd realize how easy it was to stay a girl most of
the time.
But, no: To stay in the Saotome family and under her
father's control, Ranma has to be the husband. If her no
good father does allow me to marry Ranma, it'll be as
(shudder) the wife. And to make me his wife, all he has
to do is go to the nearest sink!" She thought
sarcastically, "That's where you find wives, isn't?
Kane-chan told herself, "I have to take his mind off of
that, quickly! She might forget, then!"
Ranma-kun's sense of danger was slow to react, " ' You
say something?" When he turned around, he saw Kane-chan
launching her attack:
"Ha-yiii!"
He did a little side hop and stood there watching her
holding onto the top of the wall. She was trying to
scramble up. "You DON'T look very lady-like, you know."
The edge of the wall gouged into Kane-chan as her boobs
oozed past it (but leaving behind the bra)...until only
her hands were on top.
The only purchase Kane-chan could get on the cement
surface was not from her stupid slippers, but her bare
knees. "Shut up!"
Ranma-kun squatted down closer, "You'd have more of a
height advantage if you were a--"
Kane-chan told him, "No, I don't need it!!" Her boobs
were pressed up against the wall; and one was leg exposed
even more by its foot raised almost to the top of the
wall. That's it: Keep thinking about me becoming a guy:
NOT a girl! "I'd still not have your school's lower body
skills!"
She let herself drop to the ground. "But I do have the
TENDOU School's skills!" Not thinking to straighten her
skirt (but wishing she COULD adjust the bra), she looked
around. There, across the street!
Ranma casually watched her run over to another wall. He
said, "I've noticed. We have basically the same style of
fighting. But we do emphasize different things."
Kane-chan picked up the push broom somebody had left by
their gate. "Well, our schools DO begin with kempo."
As she hurried back across the street with the broom with
the long, scrub-brush-like head, Ranma-kun said, "And our
fathers once studied together. But your style relies too
much on weapons." Large wooden mallets came particularly
to mind.
Kane-chan place one end of the long broom head over the
top of the next wall in front of Ranma-kun, "Tools!
Weapons make it sound we like to go on the offense."
Holding tightly onto the handle, she said, "And this tool
is going to compensate for the skills I haven't developed
yet--Which is what tools do!" And she started scaling the
walls.
Ranma-kun looked at her unconvinced and unimpressed,
"You'd have more muscle mass if you were a--"
With her feet almost at the top of the wall, Kane-chan
screamed, "Tools are like martial arts techniques!! If
you have the right one, it doesn't matter what size--"
The handle popped free of the broom head. The broom head
fell!
Ranma-kun continued to look on, "What were you saying
about "the right" tool?"
The back of Kane-chan's heels was the only part of her
(barely) on top of the wall; she was using all of her
girlish strength to keep herself up by the handle. Her
long, black hair touched the pavement, as well as the hem
of her skirt.
Ranma-kun commented, "You know, blue polka dot panties
really don't suit you."
Reddening, Kane-chan wanted to scream!! No!! The idea
was for him to Not to like seeing me as a girl!!
Her battle aura burning, she spit out her skirt and
yelled, "Tendou Upper Body Whip Crack!!" The muscles
lower in her torso, now upside down, fed their power to
those higher, and those to the next set of muscles--Until
her concentrated strength was rolled into her arms: And
into a great shove on the broom handle!
Kane-chan did a dangling pole vault over onto her heels!
Over onto the wall! Where she teetered for a moment, her
arms spinning. "Whoa-Oh-Oh-Uh, oh!"
She fell belly down without the handle onto the yard on
the other side.
Ranma-kun stood up on the wall, "What a klutz!" He jogged
over to the next wall, "Are you okay?"
Over the yipping and yapping of the yard's dog, Kane-chan
called out, "Help me!! Help me, I'm being attacked!!"
Ranma-kun just looked at the girl through half-lidded
eyes. "It's just a puppy." The St. Bernard that was twice
the size of her hands was next to her face, licking it
ferociously.
Kane-chan kept calling, "Save me from it!! Quick before
it's mother finds me!! Help!!"
Ranma-kun was about to walk away on the wall, when he
thought of something. "Do you have a phobia?"
Kane-chan kept pleading for help.
Sighing, Ranma jumped down into the yard. Kane-chan was
rolling around on her back, her skirt up near the top of
her thighs (and her boobs completely out of the bra).
When he reached for the little fur ball, Kane-chan shoved
the puppy up into his face. Ranma got slobbered!
Ranma-kun took the creature away from Kane-chan and his
face. "What'd you do that for!?!"
Her own face even more covered with drool, Kane-chan made
to sit up, "Nothing. I was just—Ow-ch, ch!" She hadn't
faked the fall.
Ranma-kun stood up, "If you were testin' to see if water
from livin' things can change me, it can't. I spent two
weeks with the curse fightin' with Pop over food. If all
the spit he puts out can't change me, nothing else's
will."
Wincing at the pain, Kane-chan thought, There goes that
idea. He was wrong about how hot ordinary water has to
be. If he had been wrong about living water, too, I could
have returned Ranma to a girl again just by kissing and
licking.
Wincing at the thought, Kane-chan shuddered, Kissing and
licking a guy!? Maybe I couldn't have.
Then she got a WORSE thought: What if Ranma changed into
this guy while we were getting hot and sweaty!!?
"Meow."
*Vooss*
Kane-chan caught the puppy as Ranma went sailing over the
wall.
Kane-chan frowned, "Oh, great! I thought making Ranma mad
was like challenging her! It would keep her around so she
could "win" the argument." Kane-chan set the puppy down
next to the kitten that had come to check things out.
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Kane-chan had to move carefully. She had landed on her
front. And that meant her boobs got the worst of it. They
would soon be terribly bruised. A good reason not to put
the bra back over them.
But she was martial artist enough to ignore most of the
pain.
The yard didn't have a koi pond, but it did have a
birdbath. Kane-chan looked at it. "That's almost as
unsanitary than dog slobber."
But, being a guy at heart, she used it.
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The red haired Kaneda was back to wearing his Furinkan
High gray slacks, and white shirt, but black cross-
trainers. It feels good to be in loose boxers and not
tight panties.
He used his martial arts stealth skills to sneak out the
front gate. Deep in thought, he made his way for home on
a different street than he usually took. I wasn't wrong
about how to keep Ranma interested, was I?! That HAS to
be the first step in any plan to get her to become my
wife. I mean, a shotgun wedding's not going to work with
HER. There was a double meaning with his last sentence.
No, I didn't mean it that way! Geez! I wouldn't survive
the wedding, let alone the honeymoon.
Suddenly the house behind him had a disturbance with a
lot of running and yelling: "An intruder!"/ "In a
disguise!!"/ "What a stupid disguise!"/ "Go get
grandfather!"/ "No, I can use the kusari-fundo!"/
"Young man, I don't want you getting yourself hurt with
that old weight-and-scythe pike!"/ "You just don't want
me to become a ninja like Granddaddy!".../
Kaneda said, "Yes! Here's a chance to be a martial..."
Jumping from a tree behind the wall, something black-and-
white hopped onto the top of the wall and then onto the
street.
Kaneda said, "Then, maybe not."
Too busy looking over its shoulder, the panda in the
redlined black cape, white tie, black tuxedo with tails,
and top hat was didn't see Kaneda.
Kaneda stretched out a leg.
As it fell, its leaflets flew.
With it down on the ground, Kaneda could read the sign
pinned on back of the coat, [Usagi's Tuxedo and Mask
Shop, Costumes for Every Occasion]. I guess a panda
already comes with a mask.
Looking down, Kaneda asked, "What's the idea, Mr.
Saotome?"
Still face down, the panda held up a sign, [I'm not Genma
Saotome.]
Kaneda said, "Yeah, right."
The panda lifted itself up onto its rear, [I'm a shill in
a black-and-white costume!]
Kaneda said, "That's some costume. I can't even see the
zipper."
The panda scooted its bulk away. [Don't touch! Any
damages come out of my fee.]
"Fee?" Kaneda had a different opinion of his houseguest,
now. "I didn't know you were already working. I'm sorry,
Giri no Chichi Mirai."
The panda leaped to its feet, [WHO are you calling Future
Father-in-law!?!]
It looked like Kaneda would have to fight the 118-kg/300
lb. animal, after all.
But the fight was interrupted by thin but tall old man in
a brown kimono and getas clopping towards them; spinning
a 3 meter-long chain with an iron weight on the end of
it. In his other hand, its middle attached to the other
end of the chain, was a pike over 3 meters long with a
straightedge scythe on the other end. "I'll skin the
beast as a memento! The family will pass it down through
the generations! They remember the time when the
"Watanabe School of Togakure Ninjutsu" lived again!"
Somehow the black-and-white panda turned pale and fled.
Mr. Watanabe's weight didn't have the chance to either
hit or wrap itself around the panda. Kaneda stopped it.
He let it wrap itself around his arm, where he caught the
weight in his hand.
Mr. Watanabe cried, "Who are you to interfere with a
ninja protecting his pledged family from an invader!?!
Are you responsible for that creature!?!"
Kaneda said, "Grandfather," and bowed. But he made sure
to keep an eye on the weapon. The kami yari was level.
The strange man could decide to stab him with the point
or slash him with the blade.
The old man decided, instead, to pull at the chain still
wrapped around Kaneda's hand. "I may be a grandfather,
but I'm not so old I can't kill a bear!"
Bowing lower, Kaneda picked up one of the strewn
leaflets, "As you can see, Grandfather, he wasn't an
invader. He was just distributing ads." He showed it to
the man with his free hand. "It's a costume shop. It you
want a panda skin, I'm sure you can get one cheap there."
The old, weathered man looked at the leaflet with obvious
disappointment. He salvaged his face with, "The lackey of
merchants shouldn't invade other people's property! Why
do you think we all have privacy walls!?!"
Kaneda let go of the weight and shook the chain off, "I
know. There's a reason he looks like a dumb animal. But
look at it this way, he doesn't put up any of the
leaflets up on those walls. You know how strict Nerima is
about posting." It was true. The Greater Nerima area had
the barest walls and poles to be seen. There was even a
story of a local gaki ghost that does something terrible
to people that put things on concrete.
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Kaneda was walking to his own front door when he heard
Ranma-kun yell from the garden: "Put some pants on, Pop!!
All you've got on is a stupid tux coat!"
Kaneda went off the path, and headed around towards the
garden.
Future Father-in-law said, "You shouldn't have used that
teakettle on me! It's not my fault I can't change my
clothes, too!"
Kaneda's eyes opened wider at this news.
Ranma-kun said, "At least be a panda! Nobody cares if a
panda's naked!"
Splash!
Poking his head at last around the corner, Kaneda was in
time to see a tuxedo-wearing panda rising from the koi
pond. It held up a sign, [Now, I'm going to have to pay
for the dry cleaning!]
Kaneda brought his head back around the corner. "Nabiki!
She took Mr. Saotome's clothes from his traveling pack."
Ranma-kun asked, "What is a panda doin' in a tux,
anyway!?!" After the panda signed, Ranma-kun said, "You!?
A job? Right. What? Your "Good Friend" ain't gonna let
you freeload any more!?!"
Kaneda's former opinion of Ranma's father returned, "The
panda was only working because Nabiki blackmailed him. I
bet he WASN'T trying to pay his way!"
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When it came time to eat supper, Ranma and his father
were still arguing, by both non/and verbal
communications.
And Kaneda had been near them, watching the whole time.
He was at the other end of the family table from his own
father. The Saotomes sat along the side near the open
garden door.
Saotome He doesn't deserve a polite form. was sitting
at the family table, back in his white do-gi. But he
still had the black top hat on, "I WON'T take this hat
off at the table!"
Ranma-kun, next to him, sneered, "You just don't want
people too see your bald head."
Saotome said with dignity, "Don't you know, boy: Bald is
in! It makes a man look more rugged and handsome."
Ranma-kun reached for the hat, "Then we GOTTA take that
hat off!" And as he struggled hand-to-hand with his pop,
he said, "Your ugly puss needs all the help it can get!"
Kaneda wondered, "How does that hat stay on, even in the
middle of a fight?"
His dad told him, "It was one of the techniques my friend
Genma developed. He said his baldness reminded him
of...well, a little man he didn't care for." Which didn't
mean Genma hadn't been self-conscious before. He had
started going bald at a very young age.
The Saotomes stopped the worse of their rough housing
when Kasumi came in. She was not carrying supper, but a
teakettle and a pail of water. She said, "Nabiki should
have replaced your headcloth when she put your clothes
back in your pack, Uncle Saotome. She should NOT have
gone into your room in the first place. It was wrong."
Ranma-kun asked, "What is WITH all the quick-changing of
the clothes?"
Kaneda offered, "I could teach the technique to you,
Ranma."
Ranma-kun got a sour face, "No thank you! I'm gonna hold
onto as much of my guyness as I got left. If somebody can
get my old man in a monkey-suit, I ain't gonna give 'em a
chance to get me in a prom dress or nothing." Ranma
realized he hadn't meant "nothing" like naked...like Pop
had been in the garden. But now that Ranma thought it,
being nude would be better THAN being in a dress.
It did not help his mood.
Kaneda's mood wasn't much better, Rrr! That's going to
make it that much more of a challenge to get Ranma over
her conditioning. No good future father-in-law.
Nabiki came into the room, "Okay. Everything's back where
I found them."
Kasumi had set the teakettle down on the table; now she
placed the pail of water beside the elder guest, "Uncle
Saotome, it will be quicker if you change down here."
Genma Saotome looked at the water. It was plain on his
face he did not like the idea of becoming an animal
again, even for a moment.
Meanwhile, Kaneda was thinking, He didn't EXPECT an
apology, let alone demand one. Not that he's likely to
get one from Nabiki.
Keeping his back straight, the future father-in-law
dipped his hands in the pail, and brought them up.
Kaneda thought, ...I guess if you want apologies from
others, they might expect apologies from you. I bet
Saotome owes a lot of them.
Saotome splashed his face. The panda took his place,
without the top hat.
Kaneda thought, Well, THAT part of the change is the
same. How fast Kaneda changed depended on how hot the
water was and where it splashed on him more than how much
water got him. The easiest change was when it was around
or above his heart. And, it seems, their hearts, too.
(Meanwhile, Kaneda's dad had been overly polite about not
noticing anything different about his friend and guest.)
The panda picked up the teakettle and poured the hot
water inside on top of its hatless headKaneda's future
father-in-law took the place of the panda. The man had
on his usual headcloth, besides his do-gi.
Saotome tried to see what he felt on his head. He was
obviously happy to have something sensible on his head
again.
Nabiki was explaining as she sat down, "Uncle Saotome and
I had a deal. I found him a job..." She then gave him the
cold eye, "...But he tried to duck his responsibility."
Ranma-kun also looked at his father: "Gee, imagine that."
Genma Saotome said, "It is undignified for a master
martial artist to be a beast of burden."
Ranma-kun raised his voice, "A panda IS beast! And as far
as "burden" goes--Lose some weight!"
Nabiki said, "I know of all the jobs a martial artist can
get in the area. There's more money in being a plush
animal."
Soun Tendou spoke out, "I am sure this is all a
misunderstanding. I am sure Genma remembers the
importance of responsibility he learned in our younger
days. If we just discuss this..."
Kaneda was beginning to think his changing into a girl
wasn't the only thing his father preferred to forget.
I'm glad I didn't inherit his selective memory.
Kasumi said, "Kaneda, would you come to the kitchen with
me?"
Kaneda looked at Oneesan, "Since when do you need
anybody's help in the kitchen?"
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Kasumi was waiting for Kaneda when he came into the
kitchen. She gave him a follow-me look and left through
the side door.
Kasumi was waiting further out on the side yard. After
Kaneda had closed the door behind him, she said, "I think
it's about time to think about having Akane over as a
guest."
Kaneda knew this was coming, but still: "You, you want me
to be a GIRL--On purpose!!?! Kasumi, I'm a guy!!" He
walked quickly over to her.
Kasumi backed away, "You were born a girl. You were MEANT
to be a girl. You are going against your karma. Who knows
how much further damage your are doing to it."
The thought of REMAINING a girl made Kaneda desperate for
an idea, "Karma!? If karma directs your life, why hasn't
it shown up before now?!" He started pacing, "I mean, if
I was MEANT to be a girl, shouldn't I, LIKE guys!?!
What!? I was SUPPOSED to be a girl who likes girls?!"
Kasumi blushed, "As in..."like"!? Oh, my! I hadn't
thought of that." Her brow furrowed in thought,
"...Still, if you were to be a girl long enough...."
Kaneda stopped his pacing: "Ranma! Karma made her a
girl!!" He hurried back to her, "While we were in the
afterlife waiting to be reborn, maybe we got switched!
This whole thing could be karma correcting the accident!
See!?!! Ranma was MEANT to be a girl!" It helped his case
that it fit well with what Kaneda truly believed.
When others may blink at a thought, Kasumi didn't, "A
karmic...accident?" She had to give that some thought.
"Then why has it taken so long with Ranma?"
Kaneda had that answer, "Because of her father!" He
frowned at the thought of the man. "He will do anything
to make a man out of Ranma. He'd defy the gods, if he has
to. If we ask him, I bet he'd say, "It's a martial
artist's job to challenge destiny and karma"."
Kasumi was still pondering, "...Well, Mr. Saotome does
seem to put great importance in having a son." Then she
sighed, "Just like Father."
Kaneda brightened, "Karma corrected the mistake with me
first: Because of Father! Father is more in tune with the
wills of the gods than Mr. Saotome!" Then he gave Kasumi
as sincere a look as he was capable of, "Wouldn't you
LIKE to believe that about Father?"
Kasumi's crumbling resolve nearly broke, "Father?"
Kaneda thought he could feel it. He had almost won. All
he needed was one last argument, and...
Kasumi said, "This is beyond me. We shall take a trip to
the temple and ask for guidance."
Kaneda felt his victory slipping away, "The local temple
isn't any good for that kind of thing!! It just
commemorates some dumb wild horse. The best you can get
from it are charms."
Kasumi nodded. She said, "Then we shall find a temple
that can help us." She thought of a moment, "For
something this important, I'll let my favorite charm
direct the choice. It'll help bring good luck."
Kaneda was a skeptic; he didn't really believe. "Kasumi,
that omamori isn't an amulet! It's a talisman. An amulet
is supposed to attract luck. A talisman is supposed to
keep away--" But then, neither did he disbelieve:
"Kasumi, since this is about ME, why don't we use MY
talisman!" Maybe it'll keep the bad luck of having to be
a girl away.
Kasumi didn't blink again. "Oh, my! The one Father got on
the day you were born? But didn't the strange old woman
who sold it to him say that it was to remain under your
mattress?"
Kaneda almost chuckled, "I'm sure no evil will jump out
from under my bed during the few minutes it will take you
to use it."
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When they came back inside the kitchen, Kasumi asked,
"Kaneda, will you serve supper for me?"
Kaneda protested, "That's for girls! You said you would
stop thinking about me that way until..."
Kasumi gently agreed with him, "...Until after we visit a
temple"." She nodded as she smiled her calming smile. "It
is getting late. Most temples are already closing."
Traditional temples, those not on clocks, were open from
dawn to dusk. "The sooner we have a clear path, the
sooner the house can return to its serenity."
Kaneda wanted to scoff. The Tendou house was seldom
serene. But he couldn't do that to Kasumi, You mean your
own serenity, dear Oneesan.
Kaneda still didn't want to do it. I could ask Ranma to
do it. THAT would cause a fight. But Oneesan HAD asked
him. He lifted the tray with the bowls of kelp soup on
it.
He, of course, ended up spilling some on himself.
Kasumi paused at the kitchen door to look at the girl in
the pink jumper, and white blouse and socks. "Oh, my.
Perhaps this is an sign."
The black haired Kane-chan just looked at her. No.
Kasumi didn't plan this. That's not like her. ...Is it?
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Kane-chan set the tray back down, and went to the sink.
After changing back to himself and his regular clothes,
he picked up the tray again.
When it happened again, Kane-chan said glumly,
"Maybe it is a sign."
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When Kane-chan brought the tray into the family room,
Ranma-chan was yelling at her father, "What'd you do that
for!!?!"
Saotome told her, "How would you like to have a part time
job!? I'm sure there are openings for a waitRESS!" It
hurt him to say that about his son. But he was in the
mood to test just how much of a "son" Ranma was.
Ranma-chan hit him, "I ain't gonna be work as a girl!"
The other hand emptied what was left of the water in the
pail over her pop's head, "I'd rather live off the land!"
She glared at the panda, "I had enough practice the
way you raised me!"
The panda signed, [I did it not to spoil you].
Ranma-chan told him, "Go eat bamboo!"
Nabiki said, seeing Kane-chan, "Speaking of waitresses.
Akane! You even have the costume almost right." Nabiki
smiled, "We just have to raise the hem, and lower the
jumper's bib." She was of course referring to the type of
waitress uniform so popular among Japanese cartoonists.
Setting the tray on the table, Kane-chan glared at her,
"I'm not letting you get me a job, either."
As the panda poured hot water from the teakettle over
itself, Ranma-chan said to Kane-chan, "Well! You DO
know how to act like a girl." Kane-chan noticed that
Ranma-chan went from looking at her boobs down to her l
egs. (At least the hem was knee-length.)
Kane-chan wanted Ranma-chan to look at her as a guy.
Crossing her arms over those boobs, she told her, "Not
any more!" She plopped down onto the floor on her now
padded butt. "If anybody wants to eat anything else, they
can get it themselves!" She sat like a guy, with her
knees apart.
Kaneda's future father-in-law told Ranma-chan, "Go get us
our supper, Ranma! It'll be good waitress practice."
Ranma-chan turned to glare at him, "I told you, I--HEY!
Don't drink that hot water!!" She lunged at him, and
tried to grab the teakettle away from her so-called
father.
But his future father-in-law kept her at his longer arm-
length away as he drank from the spout.
Kane-chan nodded to herself. Right! I've been studying
them long enough, I think. I've got the idea how Ranma's
dad pulls her strings. "As long as you're in the
kitchen, you can use the tap to change...That is IF you
don't WANT to be a girl."
Ranma-chan slammed her small fist down on the table so
hard the bowls jumped, "I TOLD you: Only HOT hot water
gets rid of my curse!" Her head snapped back in time to
see her pop finish the last of the kettle's water. "Why you!!"
She would have beaten him up, if they weren't guests at a
dinner table.
Kane-chan said sarcastically, "Oh, that's right. You're
much more stuck as a girl as I can be. All *I* have to do
is turn on the cold water."
Feeling frustrated, Ranma-chan slammed both palms on the
table as she leaned over it, "Then go in there do it! THEN
bring us our supper!"
Kane-chan leaned forward in a challenge, "Then I WOULDN'T
be a girl."
Nabiki said, "Well, SOMEBODY has to serve supper."
BOTH Kane-chan and Ranma-chan glared at her.
Nabiki glared back at them, "I'm management. Management
does not serve."
Kane-chan said, "This is a strike. That's when management
lowers itself."
Ranma-chan said, "Yeah!"
Nabiki leaned an elbow on the table, "I've been a girl
longer than either of you. I know about diets. Let's SEE
who can hold out the longest."
That's when Ranma's stomach growled.
Kane-chan said, "That's not very lady-like."
Ranma-chan yelled, "Shut up!"
Saotome started to rise, "Then *I* shall serve."
Ranma-chan yanked a leg out from under him, "You just
want to eat MY share, Old Man!" His Old Man had already
finished off his and his own soups!
Kane-chan said, "And YOU wouldn't, Ranma? Do you steal
other people's food, too?"
Ranma-chan rose to her knees, "No!! *I* don't take other
people's food!" ...most of the time. And ONLY when she
was really starving. (Of course, with how hard she
trained, she starved fairly often.) "Just Pop's! And only
because HE steals mine!"
Kane-chan rose to her knees, "Then PROVE it! Go in there
and serve us OUR food: Yourself last."
Ranma-chan went up on one foot, "What kind of stupid
challenge is that!?!"
Her pop frowned at Ranma, "My son has no honor when it
comes to food."
Ranma-chan was up, now. One foot was still on the floor;
the other one was poised to stomp her Old Man. "You must
be thinkin' about yourself!"
Kane-chan said, "She just doesn't have the will power to
wait to eat."
Stomping the floor in frustration, Ranma-chan growled
even louder than her stomach. She then tromped out for
the kitchen.
Nabiki just looked at the other two. She made no comment,
but it was clear from her look she recognized a masterful
con. She would have to reassess her little sibling's
abilities...and character.
Kane-chan ignored Nabiki. She told her guilt, When Ranma
comes back with the food, I'll say something nice to her.
She'll begin to see acting nice makes her feel nice. And
being nice is part of being feminine. Kane-chan had
nearly as many warped ideas about what it meant to be a
real girl as Ranma.
But Kane-chan wanted to be served as a guy by Ranma-chan.
She looked for some cold water.
Saotome was about to pour a glass of water on Kane-chan's
dad! "Soun, my old friend! Come out of it, man. You're
going to miss supper."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kasumi had come downstairs with Kaneda's omamori
talisman. It was a rectangle of pink silk with two holes
for a loop of red string. On one side was a gold emblem
with black kanji characters written over it: [By grace of
Benten, let Amaterisu have the ears of the Kamis of
Water].
She took it over to the phone table across from the front
door.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The first thing Soun Tendou saw when he came out of his
trance was Kane-chan.
His eyes began to glaze over.
Kane-chan froze.
Nabiki pulled Kane-chan down by a shoulder strap of her
dress. She said, "Daddy, this is Akane Saotome." She then
fixed a laser like eye on the girl in her grasp. "Isn't
that right: Akane!?"
Akane got the idea. She bowed, awkwardly trying to put
her knees under her only after, "That's right. I'm, uh,
Ranma's cousin, Akane. I'm happy to be a guest in your
home, Tendou," she swallowed, "....san."
Kaneda's father's anguish eased. "Uh, I'm glad to meet
you...Akane."
Her possible father-in-law said, "I don't remember
anybody telling me Ranma has a cousin."
Nabiki informed him, "A niece! You have a niece: As in
female? ...Or would you rather have a son-in-law?"
Saotome's regard of Akane only changed slightly; but it
was for the better.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Holing the talisman by its string, Kasumi placed it
against the section of the phone book that had the
listings for the temples. Saying a prayer, she then
riffed the pages, letting the omamori find its way
between the pages.
She then swung the talisman over the open pages...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kane-chan straightened up, placing herself on her legs.
She had to sit like a girl now that she had to pretend to
be a girl. She asked, "Is there anything wrong, Mr.,
Tendou?" She looked down at the body she was in. What
else am I doing wrong?
Kaneda's father started getting misty eyed. "No, not...at
all, Miss. It's just, just that you remind me, of
somebody."
Kane-chan's sigh was nearly a groan, He's not going to
blank out on us, but he is going to cry! At least when
he's in his trance we can have a little peace. She hung
her head, As long as Akane's around, he's going to be
reminded of something he WANTS to forget.
Soun Tendou's tears began to run, "You're the very image
of my dear, departed wife! Oh, how I've missed her these
past ten long years!" His tears flowed, now, as his voice
rose in feeling, "It's as if clock had returned far
beyond her that sad time--To the very day I first met my
dearest Kimiko!"
Kane-chan had leaned WAY back. Only one hand kept her
from falling over. "I don't look that much like Mom--Um,
Mrs. Tendou!"
Nabiki smirked a smile, "Oh, I wouldn't say that. I'd say
you resemble her as much as Kasumi or I." Actually there
was a very strong resemblance. "And Kimiko means
"Beautiful Girl"." She rested her chin on the back of her
hand, "There's nothing wrong with being considered a
beautiful girl, is there?"
Saotome also got an wicked glint in his eyes, "Now that
it's come up: Yes, I say she DOES look like your
wonderful Kimiko, Soun. In her younger days, before she
was lined and wrinkled."
Kane-chan raised her voice, "She was never lined and
wrinkled!"
Saotome said, "No, but the photograph Soun carried around
with him everywhere got that way. He loved her very
much."
Trying to get control of himself, Soun Tendou asked as
politely as he could at the moment, "And wha, what did
you say your name was, again, Miss?"
Kane-chan knew she should run, but she said, "A, Akane.
Akane, Saotome."
Soun Tendou was instantly up on one knee, "Saotome!??!
Did you say your name was SAOTOME!?!!"
Any answer Kane-chan could come up with was stuck in her
thin neck.
Saotome answered for her, "Yes, Soun; that's what she
tells me. She's a cousin of my son Ranma."
Soun rose up full. He bowed formally to Akane, "Would you
consider dating me, Miss Saotome?!"
Kane-chan now DID try to run. She scrambled on her hands
and knees as her toes dug into the tatami mats to lift
herself. "NO WAY!!"
She banged her head on the tray Ranma-chan had just
brought in. With quick reflexes she caught the tampura
prawns, sweet potatoes, and mixed vegetables again.
But she let the teacups of hot water she'd made sure to
bring fall.
Splash. Splash.
Kaneda had only escaped being a girl. Ranma-kun blocked
his exit.
Ranma-kun looked up at the guy two inches taller than
himself, and smiled. He glanced at the others, "I heard
something. But what exactly was it?"
Nabiki struggled to not to appear as shocked as she felt,
"Daddy, he just asked Kan--Akane for a date."
Soun Tendou bowed his head, red faced, "I'm afraid
embarrassed the innocent girl, and she fled. I was
overcome by her beauty and charm."
Kaneda turned, and backed up against Ranma-kun, "She's
too young for you!!"
Soun Tendou sighed, "You're right. She obviously doesn't
care for older men." Then he brightened, "But she's not
too young for you, my son!" he said, looking straight at
him.
Kaneda cried, "What!??!"
His dad said with hard resolve, "Having her around as a
daughter-in-law will be enjoyment enough." His eyes began
to water again, "Just to be able to gaze upon my dear
Kimiko's face again...."
Kaneda stammered, "But, but, I'm already engaged, to,
to...." His hands patted....
Through half-lidded eyes Ranma-kun said, "Yeah? WHO are
you engaged to, FELLA?"
Saotome smiled, "What a wonderful idea, Soun! We can make
the announcements official: Kaneda and Akane, and Ranma
and Kasumi!"
Kaneda yelled, "You can't do that!"
Ranma-kun yelled, "Yeah!"
Saotome gave him his sly stare, "As the eldest Saotome,
and the head of the clan: I can."
The End of this chapter
[Notes: Kaneda's may be different from the typical
omamori because it is a special talisman.
---Amaterisu is, of course, the Goddess of the Sun.
---Benten was originally Sarasvati, the Hindu god of
water who became the Japanese goddess of "Reasoning
Facility", love, eloquence, wisdom, the arts, music,
knowledge, good fortune, power, fame, and long life as
well as water. She is also one of the seven lucky gods.
---There are more than one water kami.]
By Ron Dow75
From an idea by James M. Zema,
Unauthorized, but allowed.
08: A Sight Best Not Beheld
Dogs were barking nearby. It was a cool late afternoon,
and Kane-chan was out walking in a very pink jumper,
white blouse, calf-high stocks and black ballet slippers.
She was also wearing a bra and panties. This was
something she was SURE everybody was aware of. Wearing
lingerie was still new to her. In public, anyway. (There
were the three times SHE (not HE) had tried on her
sisters'--Just to get an idea what girls had to put up
with! And she didn't even want to THINK about what almost
became her fourth time!)
And everybody's going to be more aware if I fiddle with
this damned bra! The thing never quite lands where it
should be. The other things don't make that much trouble
when they poof onto me.
She looked around for the solution to her problem; water.
They were headed away from the local business district
and towards her home. The black haired guy in Chinese
clothes and a bookbag on his back was walking the walls
ahead of her. Ranma-kun was ignoring her ...Or maybe he
was thinking about how simple it was to turn HER into the
girl!
When Ranma said that hot water turns her into a guy, I
thought that was the same kind of hot water that turns me
into a girl! Ranma DID say we have the same curse. So WHY
is steaming tap water's enough to take away my
manhood!!?!
Ranma was lucky. It took real hot water to take away her
favored form. If it weren't for Saotome's brainwashing,
Ranma'd realize how easy it was to stay a girl most of
the time.
But, no: To stay in the Saotome family and under her
father's control, Ranma has to be the husband. If her no
good father does allow me to marry Ranma, it'll be as
(shudder) the wife. And to make me his wife, all he has
to do is go to the nearest sink!" She thought
sarcastically, "That's where you find wives, isn't?
Kane-chan told herself, "I have to take his mind off of
that, quickly! She might forget, then!"
Ranma-kun's sense of danger was slow to react, " ' You
say something?" When he turned around, he saw Kane-chan
launching her attack:
"Ha-yiii!"
He did a little side hop and stood there watching her
holding onto the top of the wall. She was trying to
scramble up. "You DON'T look very lady-like, you know."
The edge of the wall gouged into Kane-chan as her boobs
oozed past it (but leaving behind the bra)...until only
her hands were on top.
The only purchase Kane-chan could get on the cement
surface was not from her stupid slippers, but her bare
knees. "Shut up!"
Ranma-kun squatted down closer, "You'd have more of a
height advantage if you were a--"
Kane-chan told him, "No, I don't need it!!" Her boobs
were pressed up against the wall; and one was leg exposed
even more by its foot raised almost to the top of the
wall. That's it: Keep thinking about me becoming a guy:
NOT a girl! "I'd still not have your school's lower body
skills!"
She let herself drop to the ground. "But I do have the
TENDOU School's skills!" Not thinking to straighten her
skirt (but wishing she COULD adjust the bra), she looked
around. There, across the street!
Ranma casually watched her run over to another wall. He
said, "I've noticed. We have basically the same style of
fighting. But we do emphasize different things."
Kane-chan picked up the push broom somebody had left by
their gate. "Well, our schools DO begin with kempo."
As she hurried back across the street with the broom with
the long, scrub-brush-like head, Ranma-kun said, "And our
fathers once studied together. But your style relies too
much on weapons." Large wooden mallets came particularly
to mind.
Kane-chan place one end of the long broom head over the
top of the next wall in front of Ranma-kun, "Tools!
Weapons make it sound we like to go on the offense."
Holding tightly onto the handle, she said, "And this tool
is going to compensate for the skills I haven't developed
yet--Which is what tools do!" And she started scaling the
walls.
Ranma-kun looked at her unconvinced and unimpressed,
"You'd have more muscle mass if you were a--"
With her feet almost at the top of the wall, Kane-chan
screamed, "Tools are like martial arts techniques!! If
you have the right one, it doesn't matter what size--"
The handle popped free of the broom head. The broom head
fell!
Ranma-kun continued to look on, "What were you saying
about "the right" tool?"
The back of Kane-chan's heels was the only part of her
(barely) on top of the wall; she was using all of her
girlish strength to keep herself up by the handle. Her
long, black hair touched the pavement, as well as the hem
of her skirt.
Ranma-kun commented, "You know, blue polka dot panties
really don't suit you."
Reddening, Kane-chan wanted to scream!! No!! The idea
was for him to Not to like seeing me as a girl!!
Her battle aura burning, she spit out her skirt and
yelled, "Tendou Upper Body Whip Crack!!" The muscles
lower in her torso, now upside down, fed their power to
those higher, and those to the next set of muscles--Until
her concentrated strength was rolled into her arms: And
into a great shove on the broom handle!
Kane-chan did a dangling pole vault over onto her heels!
Over onto the wall! Where she teetered for a moment, her
arms spinning. "Whoa-Oh-Oh-Uh, oh!"
She fell belly down without the handle onto the yard on
the other side.
Ranma-kun stood up on the wall, "What a klutz!" He jogged
over to the next wall, "Are you okay?"
Over the yipping and yapping of the yard's dog, Kane-chan
called out, "Help me!! Help me, I'm being attacked!!"
Ranma-kun just looked at the girl through half-lidded
eyes. "It's just a puppy." The St. Bernard that was twice
the size of her hands was next to her face, licking it
ferociously.
Kane-chan kept calling, "Save me from it!! Quick before
it's mother finds me!! Help!!"
Ranma-kun was about to walk away on the wall, when he
thought of something. "Do you have a phobia?"
Kane-chan kept pleading for help.
Sighing, Ranma jumped down into the yard. Kane-chan was
rolling around on her back, her skirt up near the top of
her thighs (and her boobs completely out of the bra).
When he reached for the little fur ball, Kane-chan shoved
the puppy up into his face. Ranma got slobbered!
Ranma-kun took the creature away from Kane-chan and his
face. "What'd you do that for!?!"
Her own face even more covered with drool, Kane-chan made
to sit up, "Nothing. I was just—Ow-ch, ch!" She hadn't
faked the fall.
Ranma-kun stood up, "If you were testin' to see if water
from livin' things can change me, it can't. I spent two
weeks with the curse fightin' with Pop over food. If all
the spit he puts out can't change me, nothing else's
will."
Wincing at the pain, Kane-chan thought, There goes that
idea. He was wrong about how hot ordinary water has to
be. If he had been wrong about living water, too, I could
have returned Ranma to a girl again just by kissing and
licking.
Wincing at the thought, Kane-chan shuddered, Kissing and
licking a guy!? Maybe I couldn't have.
Then she got a WORSE thought: What if Ranma changed into
this guy while we were getting hot and sweaty!!?
"Meow."
*Vooss*
Kane-chan caught the puppy as Ranma went sailing over the
wall.
Kane-chan frowned, "Oh, great! I thought making Ranma mad
was like challenging her! It would keep her around so she
could "win" the argument." Kane-chan set the puppy down
next to the kitten that had come to check things out.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kane-chan had to move carefully. She had landed on her
front. And that meant her boobs got the worst of it. They
would soon be terribly bruised. A good reason not to put
the bra back over them.
But she was martial artist enough to ignore most of the
pain.
The yard didn't have a koi pond, but it did have a
birdbath. Kane-chan looked at it. "That's almost as
unsanitary than dog slobber."
But, being a guy at heart, she used it.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The red haired Kaneda was back to wearing his Furinkan
High gray slacks, and white shirt, but black cross-
trainers. It feels good to be in loose boxers and not
tight panties.
He used his martial arts stealth skills to sneak out the
front gate. Deep in thought, he made his way for home on
a different street than he usually took. I wasn't wrong
about how to keep Ranma interested, was I?! That HAS to
be the first step in any plan to get her to become my
wife. I mean, a shotgun wedding's not going to work with
HER. There was a double meaning with his last sentence.
No, I didn't mean it that way! Geez! I wouldn't survive
the wedding, let alone the honeymoon.
Suddenly the house behind him had a disturbance with a
lot of running and yelling: "An intruder!"/ "In a
disguise!!"/ "What a stupid disguise!"/ "Go get
grandfather!"/ "No, I can use the kusari-fundo!"/
"Young man, I don't want you getting yourself hurt with
that old weight-and-scythe pike!"/ "You just don't want
me to become a ninja like Granddaddy!".../
Kaneda said, "Yes! Here's a chance to be a martial..."
Jumping from a tree behind the wall, something black-and-
white hopped onto the top of the wall and then onto the
street.
Kaneda said, "Then, maybe not."
Too busy looking over its shoulder, the panda in the
redlined black cape, white tie, black tuxedo with tails,
and top hat was didn't see Kaneda.
Kaneda stretched out a leg.
As it fell, its leaflets flew.
With it down on the ground, Kaneda could read the sign
pinned on back of the coat, [Usagi's Tuxedo and Mask
Shop, Costumes for Every Occasion]. I guess a panda
already comes with a mask.
Looking down, Kaneda asked, "What's the idea, Mr.
Saotome?"
Still face down, the panda held up a sign, [I'm not Genma
Saotome.]
Kaneda said, "Yeah, right."
The panda lifted itself up onto its rear, [I'm a shill in
a black-and-white costume!]
Kaneda said, "That's some costume. I can't even see the
zipper."
The panda scooted its bulk away. [Don't touch! Any
damages come out of my fee.]
"Fee?" Kaneda had a different opinion of his houseguest,
now. "I didn't know you were already working. I'm sorry,
Giri no Chichi Mirai."
The panda leaped to its feet, [WHO are you calling Future
Father-in-law!?!]
It looked like Kaneda would have to fight the 118-kg/300
lb. animal, after all.
But the fight was interrupted by thin but tall old man in
a brown kimono and getas clopping towards them; spinning
a 3 meter-long chain with an iron weight on the end of
it. In his other hand, its middle attached to the other
end of the chain, was a pike over 3 meters long with a
straightedge scythe on the other end. "I'll skin the
beast as a memento! The family will pass it down through
the generations! They remember the time when the
"Watanabe School of Togakure Ninjutsu" lived again!"
Somehow the black-and-white panda turned pale and fled.
Mr. Watanabe's weight didn't have the chance to either
hit or wrap itself around the panda. Kaneda stopped it.
He let it wrap itself around his arm, where he caught the
weight in his hand.
Mr. Watanabe cried, "Who are you to interfere with a
ninja protecting his pledged family from an invader!?!
Are you responsible for that creature!?!"
Kaneda said, "Grandfather," and bowed. But he made sure
to keep an eye on the weapon. The kami yari was level.
The strange man could decide to stab him with the point
or slash him with the blade.
The old man decided, instead, to pull at the chain still
wrapped around Kaneda's hand. "I may be a grandfather,
but I'm not so old I can't kill a bear!"
Bowing lower, Kaneda picked up one of the strewn
leaflets, "As you can see, Grandfather, he wasn't an
invader. He was just distributing ads." He showed it to
the man with his free hand. "It's a costume shop. It you
want a panda skin, I'm sure you can get one cheap there."
The old, weathered man looked at the leaflet with obvious
disappointment. He salvaged his face with, "The lackey of
merchants shouldn't invade other people's property! Why
do you think we all have privacy walls!?!"
Kaneda let go of the weight and shook the chain off, "I
know. There's a reason he looks like a dumb animal. But
look at it this way, he doesn't put up any of the
leaflets up on those walls. You know how strict Nerima is
about posting." It was true. The Greater Nerima area had
the barest walls and poles to be seen. There was even a
story of a local gaki ghost that does something terrible
to people that put things on concrete.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kaneda was walking to his own front door when he heard
Ranma-kun yell from the garden: "Put some pants on, Pop!!
All you've got on is a stupid tux coat!"
Kaneda went off the path, and headed around towards the
garden.
Future Father-in-law said, "You shouldn't have used that
teakettle on me! It's not my fault I can't change my
clothes, too!"
Kaneda's eyes opened wider at this news.
Ranma-kun said, "At least be a panda! Nobody cares if a
panda's naked!"
Splash!
Poking his head at last around the corner, Kaneda was in
time to see a tuxedo-wearing panda rising from the koi
pond. It held up a sign, [Now, I'm going to have to pay
for the dry cleaning!]
Kaneda brought his head back around the corner. "Nabiki!
She took Mr. Saotome's clothes from his traveling pack."
Ranma-kun asked, "What is a panda doin' in a tux,
anyway!?!" After the panda signed, Ranma-kun said, "You!?
A job? Right. What? Your "Good Friend" ain't gonna let
you freeload any more!?!"
Kaneda's former opinion of Ranma's father returned, "The
panda was only working because Nabiki blackmailed him. I
bet he WASN'T trying to pay his way!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When it came time to eat supper, Ranma and his father
were still arguing, by both non/and verbal
communications.
And Kaneda had been near them, watching the whole time.
He was at the other end of the family table from his own
father. The Saotomes sat along the side near the open
garden door.
Saotome He doesn't deserve a polite form. was sitting
at the family table, back in his white do-gi. But he
still had the black top hat on, "I WON'T take this hat
off at the table!"
Ranma-kun, next to him, sneered, "You just don't want
people too see your bald head."
Saotome said with dignity, "Don't you know, boy: Bald is
in! It makes a man look more rugged and handsome."
Ranma-kun reached for the hat, "Then we GOTTA take that
hat off!" And as he struggled hand-to-hand with his pop,
he said, "Your ugly puss needs all the help it can get!"
Kaneda wondered, "How does that hat stay on, even in the
middle of a fight?"
His dad told him, "It was one of the techniques my friend
Genma developed. He said his baldness reminded him
of...well, a little man he didn't care for." Which didn't
mean Genma hadn't been self-conscious before. He had
started going bald at a very young age.
The Saotomes stopped the worse of their rough housing
when Kasumi came in. She was not carrying supper, but a
teakettle and a pail of water. She said, "Nabiki should
have replaced your headcloth when she put your clothes
back in your pack, Uncle Saotome. She should NOT have
gone into your room in the first place. It was wrong."
Ranma-kun asked, "What is WITH all the quick-changing of
the clothes?"
Kaneda offered, "I could teach the technique to you,
Ranma."
Ranma-kun got a sour face, "No thank you! I'm gonna hold
onto as much of my guyness as I got left. If somebody can
get my old man in a monkey-suit, I ain't gonna give 'em a
chance to get me in a prom dress or nothing." Ranma
realized he hadn't meant "nothing" like naked...like Pop
had been in the garden. But now that Ranma thought it,
being nude would be better THAN being in a dress.
It did not help his mood.
Kaneda's mood wasn't much better, Rrr! That's going to
make it that much more of a challenge to get Ranma over
her conditioning. No good future father-in-law.
Nabiki came into the room, "Okay. Everything's back where
I found them."
Kasumi had set the teakettle down on the table; now she
placed the pail of water beside the elder guest, "Uncle
Saotome, it will be quicker if you change down here."
Genma Saotome looked at the water. It was plain on his
face he did not like the idea of becoming an animal
again, even for a moment.
Meanwhile, Kaneda was thinking, He didn't EXPECT an
apology, let alone demand one. Not that he's likely to
get one from Nabiki.
Keeping his back straight, the future father-in-law
dipped his hands in the pail, and brought them up.
Kaneda thought, ...I guess if you want apologies from
others, they might expect apologies from you. I bet
Saotome owes a lot of them.
Saotome splashed his face. The panda took his place,
without the top hat.
Kaneda thought, Well, THAT part of the change is the
same. How fast Kaneda changed depended on how hot the
water was and where it splashed on him more than how much
water got him. The easiest change was when it was around
or above his heart. And, it seems, their hearts, too.
(Meanwhile, Kaneda's dad had been overly polite about not
noticing anything different about his friend and guest.)
The panda picked up the teakettle and poured the hot
water inside on top of its hatless headKaneda's future
father-in-law took the place of the panda. The man had
on his usual headcloth, besides his do-gi.
Saotome tried to see what he felt on his head. He was
obviously happy to have something sensible on his head
again.
Nabiki was explaining as she sat down, "Uncle Saotome and
I had a deal. I found him a job..." She then gave him the
cold eye, "...But he tried to duck his responsibility."
Ranma-kun also looked at his father: "Gee, imagine that."
Genma Saotome said, "It is undignified for a master
martial artist to be a beast of burden."
Ranma-kun raised his voice, "A panda IS beast! And as far
as "burden" goes--Lose some weight!"
Nabiki said, "I know of all the jobs a martial artist can
get in the area. There's more money in being a plush
animal."
Soun Tendou spoke out, "I am sure this is all a
misunderstanding. I am sure Genma remembers the
importance of responsibility he learned in our younger
days. If we just discuss this..."
Kaneda was beginning to think his changing into a girl
wasn't the only thing his father preferred to forget.
I'm glad I didn't inherit his selective memory.
Kasumi said, "Kaneda, would you come to the kitchen with
me?"
Kaneda looked at Oneesan, "Since when do you need
anybody's help in the kitchen?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kasumi was waiting for Kaneda when he came into the
kitchen. She gave him a follow-me look and left through
the side door.
Kasumi was waiting further out on the side yard. After
Kaneda had closed the door behind him, she said, "I think
it's about time to think about having Akane over as a
guest."
Kaneda knew this was coming, but still: "You, you want me
to be a GIRL--On purpose!!?! Kasumi, I'm a guy!!" He
walked quickly over to her.
Kasumi backed away, "You were born a girl. You were MEANT
to be a girl. You are going against your karma. Who knows
how much further damage your are doing to it."
The thought of REMAINING a girl made Kaneda desperate for
an idea, "Karma!? If karma directs your life, why hasn't
it shown up before now?!" He started pacing, "I mean, if
I was MEANT to be a girl, shouldn't I, LIKE guys!?!
What!? I was SUPPOSED to be a girl who likes girls?!"
Kasumi blushed, "As in..."like"!? Oh, my! I hadn't
thought of that." Her brow furrowed in thought,
"...Still, if you were to be a girl long enough...."
Kaneda stopped his pacing: "Ranma! Karma made her a
girl!!" He hurried back to her, "While we were in the
afterlife waiting to be reborn, maybe we got switched!
This whole thing could be karma correcting the accident!
See!?!! Ranma was MEANT to be a girl!" It helped his case
that it fit well with what Kaneda truly believed.
When others may blink at a thought, Kasumi didn't, "A
karmic...accident?" She had to give that some thought.
"Then why has it taken so long with Ranma?"
Kaneda had that answer, "Because of her father!" He
frowned at the thought of the man. "He will do anything
to make a man out of Ranma. He'd defy the gods, if he has
to. If we ask him, I bet he'd say, "It's a martial
artist's job to challenge destiny and karma"."
Kasumi was still pondering, "...Well, Mr. Saotome does
seem to put great importance in having a son." Then she
sighed, "Just like Father."
Kaneda brightened, "Karma corrected the mistake with me
first: Because of Father! Father is more in tune with the
wills of the gods than Mr. Saotome!" Then he gave Kasumi
as sincere a look as he was capable of, "Wouldn't you
LIKE to believe that about Father?"
Kasumi's crumbling resolve nearly broke, "Father?"
Kaneda thought he could feel it. He had almost won. All
he needed was one last argument, and...
Kasumi said, "This is beyond me. We shall take a trip to
the temple and ask for guidance."
Kaneda felt his victory slipping away, "The local temple
isn't any good for that kind of thing!! It just
commemorates some dumb wild horse. The best you can get
from it are charms."
Kasumi nodded. She said, "Then we shall find a temple
that can help us." She thought of a moment, "For
something this important, I'll let my favorite charm
direct the choice. It'll help bring good luck."
Kaneda was a skeptic; he didn't really believe. "Kasumi,
that omamori isn't an amulet! It's a talisman. An amulet
is supposed to attract luck. A talisman is supposed to
keep away--" But then, neither did he disbelieve:
"Kasumi, since this is about ME, why don't we use MY
talisman!" Maybe it'll keep the bad luck of having to be
a girl away.
Kasumi didn't blink again. "Oh, my! The one Father got on
the day you were born? But didn't the strange old woman
who sold it to him say that it was to remain under your
mattress?"
Kaneda almost chuckled, "I'm sure no evil will jump out
from under my bed during the few minutes it will take you
to use it."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When they came back inside the kitchen, Kasumi asked,
"Kaneda, will you serve supper for me?"
Kaneda protested, "That's for girls! You said you would
stop thinking about me that way until..."
Kasumi gently agreed with him, "...Until after we visit a
temple"." She nodded as she smiled her calming smile. "It
is getting late. Most temples are already closing."
Traditional temples, those not on clocks, were open from
dawn to dusk. "The sooner we have a clear path, the
sooner the house can return to its serenity."
Kaneda wanted to scoff. The Tendou house was seldom
serene. But he couldn't do that to Kasumi, You mean your
own serenity, dear Oneesan.
Kaneda still didn't want to do it. I could ask Ranma to
do it. THAT would cause a fight. But Oneesan HAD asked
him. He lifted the tray with the bowls of kelp soup on
it.
He, of course, ended up spilling some on himself.
Kasumi paused at the kitchen door to look at the girl in
the pink jumper, and white blouse and socks. "Oh, my.
Perhaps this is an sign."
The black haired Kane-chan just looked at her. No.
Kasumi didn't plan this. That's not like her. ...Is it?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kane-chan set the tray back down, and went to the sink.
After changing back to himself and his regular clothes,
he picked up the tray again.
When it happened again, Kane-chan said glumly,
"Maybe it is a sign."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When Kane-chan brought the tray into the family room,
Ranma-chan was yelling at her father, "What'd you do that
for!!?!"
Saotome told her, "How would you like to have a part time
job!? I'm sure there are openings for a waitRESS!" It
hurt him to say that about his son. But he was in the
mood to test just how much of a "son" Ranma was.
Ranma-chan hit him, "I ain't gonna be work as a girl!"
The other hand emptied what was left of the water in the
pail over her pop's head, "I'd rather live off the land!"
She glared at the panda, "I had enough practice the
way you raised me!"
The panda signed, [I did it not to spoil you].
Ranma-chan told him, "Go eat bamboo!"
Nabiki said, seeing Kane-chan, "Speaking of waitresses.
Akane! You even have the costume almost right." Nabiki
smiled, "We just have to raise the hem, and lower the
jumper's bib." She was of course referring to the type of
waitress uniform so popular among Japanese cartoonists.
Setting the tray on the table, Kane-chan glared at her,
"I'm not letting you get me a job, either."
As the panda poured hot water from the teakettle over
itself, Ranma-chan said to Kane-chan, "Well! You DO
know how to act like a girl." Kane-chan noticed that
Ranma-chan went from looking at her boobs down to her l
egs. (At least the hem was knee-length.)
Kane-chan wanted Ranma-chan to look at her as a guy.
Crossing her arms over those boobs, she told her, "Not
any more!" She plopped down onto the floor on her now
padded butt. "If anybody wants to eat anything else, they
can get it themselves!" She sat like a guy, with her
knees apart.
Kaneda's future father-in-law told Ranma-chan, "Go get us
our supper, Ranma! It'll be good waitress practice."
Ranma-chan turned to glare at him, "I told you, I--HEY!
Don't drink that hot water!!" She lunged at him, and
tried to grab the teakettle away from her so-called
father.
But his future father-in-law kept her at his longer arm-
length away as he drank from the spout.
Kane-chan nodded to herself. Right! I've been studying
them long enough, I think. I've got the idea how Ranma's
dad pulls her strings. "As long as you're in the
kitchen, you can use the tap to change...That is IF you
don't WANT to be a girl."
Ranma-chan slammed her small fist down on the table so
hard the bowls jumped, "I TOLD you: Only HOT hot water
gets rid of my curse!" Her head snapped back in time to
see her pop finish the last of the kettle's water. "Why you!!"
She would have beaten him up, if they weren't guests at a
dinner table.
Kane-chan said sarcastically, "Oh, that's right. You're
much more stuck as a girl as I can be. All *I* have to do
is turn on the cold water."
Feeling frustrated, Ranma-chan slammed both palms on the
table as she leaned over it, "Then go in there do it! THEN
bring us our supper!"
Kane-chan leaned forward in a challenge, "Then I WOULDN'T
be a girl."
Nabiki said, "Well, SOMEBODY has to serve supper."
BOTH Kane-chan and Ranma-chan glared at her.
Nabiki glared back at them, "I'm management. Management
does not serve."
Kane-chan said, "This is a strike. That's when management
lowers itself."
Ranma-chan said, "Yeah!"
Nabiki leaned an elbow on the table, "I've been a girl
longer than either of you. I know about diets. Let's SEE
who can hold out the longest."
That's when Ranma's stomach growled.
Kane-chan said, "That's not very lady-like."
Ranma-chan yelled, "Shut up!"
Saotome started to rise, "Then *I* shall serve."
Ranma-chan yanked a leg out from under him, "You just
want to eat MY share, Old Man!" His Old Man had already
finished off his and his own soups!
Kane-chan said, "And YOU wouldn't, Ranma? Do you steal
other people's food, too?"
Ranma-chan rose to her knees, "No!! *I* don't take other
people's food!" ...most of the time. And ONLY when she
was really starving. (Of course, with how hard she
trained, she starved fairly often.) "Just Pop's! And only
because HE steals mine!"
Kane-chan rose to her knees, "Then PROVE it! Go in there
and serve us OUR food: Yourself last."
Ranma-chan went up on one foot, "What kind of stupid
challenge is that!?!"
Her pop frowned at Ranma, "My son has no honor when it
comes to food."
Ranma-chan was up, now. One foot was still on the floor;
the other one was poised to stomp her Old Man. "You must
be thinkin' about yourself!"
Kane-chan said, "She just doesn't have the will power to
wait to eat."
Stomping the floor in frustration, Ranma-chan growled
even louder than her stomach. She then tromped out for
the kitchen.
Nabiki just looked at the other two. She made no comment,
but it was clear from her look she recognized a masterful
con. She would have to reassess her little sibling's
abilities...and character.
Kane-chan ignored Nabiki. She told her guilt, When Ranma
comes back with the food, I'll say something nice to her.
She'll begin to see acting nice makes her feel nice. And
being nice is part of being feminine. Kane-chan had
nearly as many warped ideas about what it meant to be a
real girl as Ranma.
But Kane-chan wanted to be served as a guy by Ranma-chan.
She looked for some cold water.
Saotome was about to pour a glass of water on Kane-chan's
dad! "Soun, my old friend! Come out of it, man. You're
going to miss supper."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kasumi had come downstairs with Kaneda's omamori
talisman. It was a rectangle of pink silk with two holes
for a loop of red string. On one side was a gold emblem
with black kanji characters written over it: [By grace of
Benten, let Amaterisu have the ears of the Kamis of
Water].
She took it over to the phone table across from the front
door.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The first thing Soun Tendou saw when he came out of his
trance was Kane-chan.
His eyes began to glaze over.
Kane-chan froze.
Nabiki pulled Kane-chan down by a shoulder strap of her
dress. She said, "Daddy, this is Akane Saotome." She then
fixed a laser like eye on the girl in her grasp. "Isn't
that right: Akane!?"
Akane got the idea. She bowed, awkwardly trying to put
her knees under her only after, "That's right. I'm, uh,
Ranma's cousin, Akane. I'm happy to be a guest in your
home, Tendou," she swallowed, "....san."
Kaneda's father's anguish eased. "Uh, I'm glad to meet
you...Akane."
Her possible father-in-law said, "I don't remember
anybody telling me Ranma has a cousin."
Nabiki informed him, "A niece! You have a niece: As in
female? ...Or would you rather have a son-in-law?"
Saotome's regard of Akane only changed slightly; but it
was for the better.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Holing the talisman by its string, Kasumi placed it
against the section of the phone book that had the
listings for the temples. Saying a prayer, she then
riffed the pages, letting the omamori find its way
between the pages.
She then swung the talisman over the open pages...
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kane-chan straightened up, placing herself on her legs.
She had to sit like a girl now that she had to pretend to
be a girl. She asked, "Is there anything wrong, Mr.,
Tendou?" She looked down at the body she was in. What
else am I doing wrong?
Kaneda's father started getting misty eyed. "No, not...at
all, Miss. It's just, just that you remind me, of
somebody."
Kane-chan's sigh was nearly a groan, He's not going to
blank out on us, but he is going to cry! At least when
he's in his trance we can have a little peace. She hung
her head, As long as Akane's around, he's going to be
reminded of something he WANTS to forget.
Soun Tendou's tears began to run, "You're the very image
of my dear, departed wife! Oh, how I've missed her these
past ten long years!" His tears flowed, now, as his voice
rose in feeling, "It's as if clock had returned far
beyond her that sad time--To the very day I first met my
dearest Kimiko!"
Kane-chan had leaned WAY back. Only one hand kept her
from falling over. "I don't look that much like Mom--Um,
Mrs. Tendou!"
Nabiki smirked a smile, "Oh, I wouldn't say that. I'd say
you resemble her as much as Kasumi or I." Actually there
was a very strong resemblance. "And Kimiko means
"Beautiful Girl"." She rested her chin on the back of her
hand, "There's nothing wrong with being considered a
beautiful girl, is there?"
Saotome also got an wicked glint in his eyes, "Now that
it's come up: Yes, I say she DOES look like your
wonderful Kimiko, Soun. In her younger days, before she
was lined and wrinkled."
Kane-chan raised her voice, "She was never lined and
wrinkled!"
Saotome said, "No, but the photograph Soun carried around
with him everywhere got that way. He loved her very
much."
Trying to get control of himself, Soun Tendou asked as
politely as he could at the moment, "And wha, what did
you say your name was, again, Miss?"
Kane-chan knew she should run, but she said, "A, Akane.
Akane, Saotome."
Soun Tendou was instantly up on one knee, "Saotome!??!
Did you say your name was SAOTOME!?!!"
Any answer Kane-chan could come up with was stuck in her
thin neck.
Saotome answered for her, "Yes, Soun; that's what she
tells me. She's a cousin of my son Ranma."
Soun rose up full. He bowed formally to Akane, "Would you
consider dating me, Miss Saotome?!"
Kane-chan now DID try to run. She scrambled on her hands
and knees as her toes dug into the tatami mats to lift
herself. "NO WAY!!"
She banged her head on the tray Ranma-chan had just
brought in. With quick reflexes she caught the tampura
prawns, sweet potatoes, and mixed vegetables again.
But she let the teacups of hot water she'd made sure to
bring fall.
Splash. Splash.
Kaneda had only escaped being a girl. Ranma-kun blocked
his exit.
Ranma-kun looked up at the guy two inches taller than
himself, and smiled. He glanced at the others, "I heard
something. But what exactly was it?"
Nabiki struggled to not to appear as shocked as she felt,
"Daddy, he just asked Kan--Akane for a date."
Soun Tendou bowed his head, red faced, "I'm afraid
embarrassed the innocent girl, and she fled. I was
overcome by her beauty and charm."
Kaneda turned, and backed up against Ranma-kun, "She's
too young for you!!"
Soun Tendou sighed, "You're right. She obviously doesn't
care for older men." Then he brightened, "But she's not
too young for you, my son!" he said, looking straight at
him.
Kaneda cried, "What!??!"
His dad said with hard resolve, "Having her around as a
daughter-in-law will be enjoyment enough." His eyes began
to water again, "Just to be able to gaze upon my dear
Kimiko's face again...."
Kaneda stammered, "But, but, I'm already engaged, to,
to...." His hands patted....
Through half-lidded eyes Ranma-kun said, "Yeah? WHO are
you engaged to, FELLA?"
Saotome smiled, "What a wonderful idea, Soun! We can make
the announcements official: Kaneda and Akane, and Ranma
and Kasumi!"
Kaneda yelled, "You can't do that!"
Ranma-kun yelled, "Yeah!"
Saotome gave him his sly stare, "As the eldest Saotome,
and the head of the clan: I can."
The End of this chapter
[Notes: Kaneda's may be different from the typical
omamori because it is a special talisman.
---Amaterisu is, of course, the Goddess of the Sun.
---Benten was originally Sarasvati, the Hindu god of
water who became the Japanese goddess of "Reasoning
Facility", love, eloquence, wisdom, the arts, music,
knowledge, good fortune, power, fame, and long life as
well as water. She is also one of the seven lucky gods.
---There are more than one water kami.]