Raising Freeza
Old King Cold
Though brave and bold
Chose not to be a hero
He killed for fun
And when he was done
The survivors left were zero
Cooler he walked
Cooler he talked
Exactly like his Dad
But Freeza's ways
Put them in a daze
And his father became quite mad...
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
...
"How about now?"
"No."
...
"Are we there now?"
"No!"
...
"Are we almost there?"
"No!"
...
"How about now?"
"For the last time, Freeza, NO!"
King Cold glared at his son, and turned back to the images of the Polarin Asteroid Belt flying by. He had directed his X-3 cruiser towards the Rijel system, whose third planet was in need of purging. Cold decided it would be the perfect opportunity to teach Freeza the tools of the trade.
"Does that mean yes?"
"NO!! Just shut up!"
Crewmembers piloting the cruiser wearily looked at each other, each praying for their shift to end. The young Prince had been whining since they had left the spaceport. One navigator had tried to put on earmuffs; the next moment they were mopping up his smear.
"Can I have an ice-cream?"
"..."
"Can I get a puppy?"
"..."
"Or a Pikachu? Can I have a Pikachu, Dad?"
"......"
"Dad?"
"..."
"Dad?"
"..."
"Dad?"
"WHAT?!?" King Cold raged, leaping from his seat. "WHAT IS IT NOW?"
"Nuthin'."
King Cold took a deep breath, tried to calm his temper, and looked down at his son. "What did you want, Freeza?"
"It's okay. I just needed to pee, but I don't now." Freeza blushed slightly, and looked away.
The old Cha-num rolled his mop and bucket to Freeza and began cleaning.
Cooler swaggered into the cruiser's food hall.
"Hey wiener."
Freeza looked up from his flooban and salmon sandwich.
"Heard you peed in your pants. What a baby." Cooler smirked.
Freeza took a bite of sanga. "Mashh eri shary."
"Swallow." Cooler growled.
Freeza did. "Dad's very scary."
"Huh. No he's not, he's boring. Doesn't let me blow up stuff." Cooler frowned.
"Why do you want to blow stuff up?" Freeza asked.
"'Cause it's cool, duh." Cooler rolled his eyes.
"Mommy said--"
"Mommy said?" Cooler laughed.
Freeza pouted, and turned to his sandwich.
"You're a loser, twerp." Cooler turned and walked out of the room.
Freeza felt tears in his eyes.
King Cold looked at the monitor.
"These are the co-ordinates, sir." The new navigator told him. "Rijel Three... just isn't there."
King Cold growled. "How is this possible?"
"I'm picking up some debris." The science officer reported. "Not much, we're lucky our sensors found it. Just some dirt, maybe a twig. And the alignment and orbits of the other planets in this system definitely indicates there was something here."
"So it was blown up?"
"Or vaporised." The S.O. typed at his console. "I'd say, not too long ago."
"And we could've received a very good price for that one." King Cold growled. "Do we have any weapons that could do that?"
"Well... not really, other than yourself. There is also a theory for a new weapon, something the tech boys have been cooking up for non-ki soldiers."
King Cold stormed back to his chair, and pondered for a few minutes.
"Science, get working on finding out as much as you can about the destruction of Rijel Three. And Tactical, build that weapon!"
"Yes sir!" The crew began working immediately.
King Cold frowned. "Somebody did that, and we need to find out who before they blow up another planet! We can't have someone just blowing up our stock!"
The elevator flew open.
"Sir! Sir! King Cold, sir!" Two security officers ran into the room. "It's Prince Freeza, sir!"
"What is it?" Cold demanded.
"He's... he's..." One gasped.
"You're just going to have to see this for yourself, sir." said the other.
The lead security officer trembled. "It's okay, son... just put it down..."
"Y-yeah, no need for anyone to get hurt..." the guy behind him agreed.
Freeza grinned. "Do you want to be blue? Or pink? I think I have yellow..."
He picked up a tube of KraziPaint, and smirked.
The soldiers took a step back.
With a naughty chuckle, Freeza jumped on the purple tube aimed at the soldiers. The paint squirted out of the tube and sprayed over everybody, including Freeza.
Freeza laughed. He'd grabbed the paints his Mom had given him and decided to give his father's ship a little extra colour. He hadn't known that Daddy's soldiers might want to join in.
"FREEZA!"
Freeza froze. Blue tinted his cheeks in fear, and he slowly turned his head back.
"H-h-heya Daddy..." He stuttered.
Cold only glared in reply. He stepped forward to Freeza.
And got a face full of green.
Freeza burst out laughing. "You're all green daddy!"
Full of fury, Cold wiped the paint off as best he could, leaving himself looking rather sick, grabbed his son by the tail and dragged him out of the hallway.
There was a long silence between the soldiers.
"Um... maybe we should call someone to clean this up?" One suggested.