Ranma & Kaneda
By Ron Dow75
10: A Doll For Two
[Note: Scenes where the focus is on Nabiki or Kuno are
marked with a dollar sign ($). Scenes where the focus is
on Kasumi are marked with a plus sign (+). Scenes about
everybody else are marked with a pound sign (#).
Summaries are after "The End".]
Kane-chan leaped back onto the flagstone he'd started
from. She turned around, and took up a triumphant stance
in her white dress with the bows and frills. Only mildly
breathing hard, the black-haired girl said to the red-
haired girl, "Are you ready to be trapped inside the
corset?!"
Ranma-chan cried, "No!! There ain't no corset!! It's all
in the sick old priest's sick mind and yours!!"
Kane-chan confidently smiled, "We'll see how long you
believe THAT!" And she pulled the red string she imagined
in her hand.
Ranma-chan leaped before the snare could be closed:
"Ha!!"
Pebbles from the Shinto priest's blowgun rapidly struck
Ranma-chan's lumbar vertebrae. "Hey!!" The impact
affected her balance.
Ranma-chan fell back onto the temple's stone courtyard,
"Ouf!"
Kane-chan cried, "Yes: I have bound you!!"
(Her father cried, "Oh, Akane!" He tried to cover his
eyes. But the tea set he was holding got in the way.)
Ranma-chan cried back, "No you did--" As she was shoving
herself off the ground, she felt tightness around her
waist. "What gives!!?!" she put a hand on the area, "I
KNOW I didn't pulled a muscle." ...Make that muscles.
Sitting up, she brought her other hand up, too, "Why do
this stupid narrow waist feel even narrower!?!"
Kane-chan walked toward her, "Because that's what corsets
do: They constrict the waist area."
Ryoushin, the old priest, cackled, "Corsets emphasize the
woman's figure!! They are FOURTH after brassieres,
bustles and high heels in importance in shaping a woman!"
Ranma-chan stammered, " "Sh, sha, shaping"!?!! As in
makin' you more of a woman!!?!"
The old priest said as an enthusiastic student of love,
"But MORE than the others, its hourglass figure announces
to the world the woman is not pregnant!"
Ranma-chan turned white, "Pre, gnant!?...."
(Kasumi cried, "Oh, My!!"
(She and the old priestess had just come out of the
building that hid the accursed well. The old priestess
quietly told Kasumi, "Do not worry. The corset shiatsu
will wear off soon." Then she frowned towards her
husband, "Unless the old fool forgot that it was not
meant to be permanent.")
Kane-chan had reached Ranma-chan, "The priest said NOT
pregnant. ...As in "yet"." I can't believe I said that.
Ranma-chan glared up at her as she got up on her own,
"Oh, THAT makes me feel better!" Straightening out, she
put a hand to her diaphragm, "If I wasn't trained to
breathe outward from the sides, this could interfere with
my skills."
Kane-chan said, "That's good. I want you to know I don't
want your martial arts abilities compromised. They mean
too much to you."
The old priest joined them, "Very eloquent. Benten is the
goddess of eloquence, you know."
Ranma turned her glare to him, "What ISN'T she a goddess
of!?"
The old priestess clapped her hands, "It is time to
LEAVE! The water vapor of this place is beginning to
affect you. Too much time here and you will talk in fine
words empty of inspiration and reason!"
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$
Meanwhile, Tatewaki Kuno, heir to an ancient samurai
legacy and the fortune their ways brought, sat in a
humble eatery. He gazed not at the gaggling geese of
ordinary girls around him, but at what he held in his
hands. She was a blue eyed, blond dolly in a frilly white
apron, pink dress and two hair ribbons. "Yea, you art the
very image of my dearest ones! Or, rather, the image they
would have, had they been allowed to express their true,
and full femininity. But, nay: The vile, and disreputable
Tendou clan get their evil power from stealing
reputations!" His voice rose higher with his passion,
"But this pure heart will win your freedoms, so that you
may be adoring ladies of my court!!"
He had stood to hold the doll aloft in one hand.
A voice that could have been that of the doll's said,
"What an idiot."
He hadn't noticed that all other conversations had
stopped.
Another voice answered, "I'll say! Where does he get his
stupid ideas!?"
A third said, "He's probably been 'INSPIRED' by an O.D.
of samurai tales."
A fourth said, "More like heroic boys' mangas and
animes."
A fifth laughed, "He thinks he has the "eternal fighting
samurai spirit alive within"!"
A sixth joined her, "Just like my EIGHT-year-old
brother!"
A seventh grinned, "What is it your little brother says?
"What is a hero without implacable enemies to temper your
manhood against"." More girlish laughter followed.
Since the restaurant was full of girls, and not a boy in
sight to take retribution on, Kuno seated himself again.
He was enough of an aristocrat not to blush in front of
the hoi polloi of the opposite sex.
Though he almost lost that resolve with: "Do you think
that's the ONLY doll he has?"
"*Giggle* As in "anatomically correct"?"
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#
Ranma-chan quoted, " "Talk in fine words empty of
inspiration or reason"?" And he walked to where her pop
was snoring, "Then I'd BETTER get Pop outta here: He
doesn't need to be any more like that!"
Ranma-chan reached down and hefted the overweight man
onto a shoulder. It wasn't a spectacular show of
strength; her back was bent under the burden, but she did
it.
Still, Kane-chan was impressed; "You can do that in a
corset?"
Ranma-chan didn't like that thought. "I can think of it
as a straw back brace, like many men of Japan wear!"
Again with the "Urusei Yatsura" reference: That's what
Ryuunosuke's psychotically manly father was always
wearing.
Kane-chan thought, Stubborn! That's also supposed to be
for virility.
The old priestess hurried to usher everybody out, "This
temple WILL give the unfortunate nine abilities."
Kasumi asked, "Oh, my, you mean..."
Mrs. Priestess nodded towards her, "Yes. The curse is to
have the ability, but not the CAPABILITY. For the talents
to mean anything, there has to be the blessing of the
goddess of reason and inspiration."
Kasumi said, "Oh, my, how tragic."
Soun Tendou joined the others after putting the tea set
on the temple porch. "Akane, may I speak with you, now?"
Ranma-chan had reached the corner of the main hall still
carrying her pop. "Go ahead and talk with him, 'Akane'!
'Cause I ain't gonna be engaged to you, contest or no
contest!"
Genma Saotome stirred, "Contest!? What contest!?!"
(Kane-chan saw another blowgun dart in Saotome's neck.
The antidote! She scowled, That old priest has perfect
timing.)
Before Soun could inform his friend, the old priest broke
in, "The dark-haired girl has won the right to red-haired
girl's hand!"
Genma pushed himself up off of Ranma-chan, "What!!?!"
Ranma-chan dropped him. She stood over him, "I did NOT
lose!! Ranma Saotome doesn't lose!!"
Kane-chan told Ranma-chan (and her father), "At martial
arts: But this wasn't martial arts! It was a test to see
which one of us DESERVED to be blessed by the goddess. I
won!"
Genma was still confused. Soun told him, "It seems Akane
has her cap set on your son. And she apparently doesn't
care if he's a girl."
Ranma-chan said, "What'd you mean "IF"!?!"
Soun had a thought about his would-be daughter-in-law,
"You don't suppose young Akane...has an unnatural
preference?"
Genma said, "To put it politely in your company."
The old priest yelled, "Hail and Farewell Attack!!" A
shower of pebbles began to rain down on all but Kasumi,
behind him.
The martial artists ran for the way out.
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$
Nabiki entered the restaurant where her "date" with Kuno-
baby was to begin. How appropriate they would meet at the
place where they had broke up. The proprietress paused
from her work to greet her, "Come in! Come in!"
Nabiki looked around the crowded little place. She got
the satisfaction of seeing Kuno waiting. He was hiding in
a far corner with his back to everybody else.
When Kuno turned, Nabiki saw to her disappointment it
wasn't because he had sensed her presence. He looked
unusually quiet and pensive for him. Was he looking
towards some laughing girls?
Well, Kuno-baby had chosen this place to meet. The idiot
SHOULD be ashamed to be seen there. As she remembered it,
she had made quite a scene that last time they were here.
But would that have really penetrated that thick head of
his?
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#
The Saotomes were out the gate before everybody else.
Kane-chan was pulling on her dad's arm, when he stopped
her. He cried, "Kasumi! Where is Kasumi!?!!"
+
Kasumi called from within the temple walls, "Right here,
Father!"
The old priestess said, "She'll be with you presently.
SHE will be one blessed by the goddess."
Before her father could say anything, Kasumi said, "No,
Mrs. Priestess. Oh, my, no. I am not ready to have my
life changed."
The old woman told her, "But I still have things to tell
you!"
Kasumi said, "Then you can tell me as we go down this
long stairway." She called to the others: "Go ahead! I'll
meet you all at the bottom!"
#
Kane-chan pulled harder on her dad, "Come on, you heard
her." He looked down at Ranma-chan. The pig-tailed girl
had stopped because her father had to catch his breath.
As Kane-chan watched Ranma-chan yell at her father, she
thought, I have to get down there before Saotome does
get his wind back! He's going to try and take back
whatever control I won over Ranma!
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$
Nabiki brought the tray with her meal over to the table
Kuno-baby was sitting at. He was waiting impatiently but
nobly. It was tempting to make him stew a little longer.
But she sat down, and uncovered her bowl. She said in a
tone that told him she hadn't forgiven him yet, "What's
this all about? It's not like you to treat a girl to
snacks." She broke her chopsticks apart as emphasis.
Kuno said, "I have a favor to ask. Keep it in mind that a
man in my position is not accustomed to asking for
favors. I would take it ill indeed if you were to take me
lightly, Nabiki Tendou."
Nabiki had been trying to enjoy her dumplings in sweet
red bean soup. She said to the jerk, "Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So spill it already. Now, what can I do for you, Kuno."
Kuno said, "Well, I shall swallow my pride." It took him
a second to do that. "It's this," and held up the
collectable.
Nabiki looked. "What is "this"?"
Kuno told her, "It's a cute, little dolly."
Nabiki told him, "I know THAT. But what is it for?"
Kuno told her, "It is a present."
Nabiki waved it off, "No, thanks." Now that she had a
good look at it, it was too cheap to be a collectable.
She went back to her meal.
Kuno told her, "I never said it was for you, Nabiki. It
is a token of my affection for Ranma Saotome, the Pig-
tailed girl."
Nabiki stopped her eating. She had been playing the
"former girlfriend" and had forgotten why she was there.
The thought of That's, for, FOR RANMA! was too much: It
was to laugh.
Nabiki did laugh, and though she tried to keep it in the
food in her mouth got out. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ah, Ha! Ha! Ha!"
She stifled it as soon as she could. She placed her face
back on with a threat-like, "Now look at what you made me
do, Kuno."
His own face covered with her half-chewed food, Kuno
returned with controlled anger, "So sweet and voluble
your discourse."
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#
Kane-chan ran down the stairs ahead of her dad. "Ranma!
You're wearing the corset, that makes YOU the girl!"
Genma Saotome yelled, "What!!?!"
Soun Tendou said, "Well, something did happen to Ranma."
Ranma-chan screamed, "Just 'cause somebody FORCES me into
something doesn't make me "the girl"!!"
Kane-chan stopped out of Saotome's swing; "That somebody
was the goddess!"
Soun Tendou said, "Well, we WERE at the goddess's
temple."
Genma Saotome studied his child, "ARE you wearing a
corset, boy!?!"
Ranma-chan cried, "It's invisible!!" feeling it. Then she
screamed directly at Kane-chan, " And if we're talkin'
about goddesses, what about YOU!!?! YOU'RE the one
wearin' the stupid dress with the ribbons everybody can
see!"
Genma Saotome nodded towards the girl who clearly looked
like a girl, "That's right."
Soun Tendou nodded as well, "Indeed."
Kane-chan cried, "It's Kasumi's idea!!"
Ranma-chan crossed her arms under her chest, "And the old
priestess thinks the goddess likes the way Kasumi
thinks."
Kane-chan screamed, "Just because somebody forces me into
wearing something I don't want doesn't make me a girl!"
Soun Tendou said, "Dear me, Akane does have a problem,
doesn't she?"
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$
Nabiki looked across the table at the guy who thought he
was the living embodiment of the samurai spirit and his
cute, little dolly. He was wiping the food particles off
of his face. "You must really have a thing for Ranma, eh,
Kuno?"
Nabiki did a quick calculation in her head. "I just
happen to have some photos."
Kuno cried, "Photos!?"
Nabiki teased, "Want to see them?"
Kuno's eyes shifted as he tried to do his own
calculations. "Hmph!" He and he tossed his head back,
trying to look nonchalant about the matter. "Well, I..."
Nabiki interrupted the act, "Tell you what. Buy me some
spaghetti, and I MIGHT let you see them."
Kuno's fist hit the table, "This is torture!"
Nabiki made ready to "break off" the transaction, "Hey!
If you don't want to see them."
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#
Kane-chan told them all, "All *I* have to do is find some
cool water, and *I* won't be a girl!" And he leaped down
the stairs.
Kane-chan went past the surprised elder Saotome and for
Ranma-chan. Ranma reflexively "saved" the girl. In Ranma-
chan's arms, Kane-chan used her Vine-Clinging-on-a-Statue
technique to glomp on.
Ranma-chan cried, "What'd you do that for!!?!"
Kane-chan "This is a more interesting way to find water.
You'll help me, won't you, Ranma?" Wide-eye flutter.
Genma Saotome told Ranma to, "Hold her, son! I'll knock
her off!" He reared up his had to do just that.
Her arms trapped, Ranma-chan ran down the stairs: "Geez,
Pop! Whatever happened to "not hittin' girls"!?!"
Genma answered, "But she's--"
Suddenly, close behind him: "GEN-MA!!"
Genma turned and saw a giant demon's head at his
shoulder. Demon Head Soun Tendou cried, "How DARE you
threaten to strike Akane, the very image of my dear
wife!!"
His fingers and hands up in a Takahashi, Genma grinned
nervously, "Can't we talk this out? (Heh, heh)"
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+
Nearer the top of the stairs, Kasumi cried, "Oh, my! How
rude of Father to become a demon on temple grounds.
Forgive him, Mrs. Priestess."
The old priestess said, "I sense no demon, so no offense
is taken. But allow me to continue...The corset shiatsu
is just to plant the idea within young Ranma that your,
uh, sibling won the favor of the goddess. But humans are
not logical. If Ranma continues to feel the corset, she
will chafe under it and seek to free herself."
Kasumi said, "Oh, I see! That is why the corset will come
off soon."
The old priestess said, "Yes. Ranma will have nothing to
PHYSICALLY rebel against. THAT combined with the tether
of the red string will bind her far more securely."
Kasumi asked, "Oh, my, then, Ranma will be the girl?"
The old woman said, "Only if she passes the tests."
Kasumi asked, "Tests?"
The old woman said, "Both Ranma and Kaneda have can
become female. It is their Karma. It now becomes a matter
of which one is better suited to be the woman. In a word,
ENDURE. Which one can endure what a woman goes through."
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$
Nabiki had taken Kuno next door in the "Shopping Plaza"
to a Western-style restaurant that served spaghetti.
Unlike sweet dumplings, pasta wasn't something she had
had very often, "Mmm!"
But she was there on business. With her mouth still full,
she laid five photos face up on the table, "Here's the
deal: One thousand yen per shot."
When Kuno saw what was on them, he cried, "Whoh, hoa!"
Akane Saotome was out in her yellow kempo-gi. She was
working out in the arena in front of the dojo. Besides a
sweaty, frowning profile, she was high-kicking, lifting
dumbbells, hitting a punching bag, and demolishing some
cinderblocks. "What strength! What power! I'll take
them," he said taking a 5,000-yen note from the pocket
inside his kendo-gi shirt where he kept his walking-
around money.
Picking the photos up, he admired them, She is truly a
tigress among kittens. A truly capable girl. Then he
thought to ask, "How did you obtain these objets d'arte
martiale?"
Nabiki was back to enjoying her spaghetti, "She is
engaged to a Tendou. KEI Tendou."
Kuno got excited in a way different from when he viewed
the photos, "You KNOW how to get in touch with Akane
Saotome!?!!"
Nabiki smiled to herself; her plan was falling back into
place, "5,000-yen more for "The Very Tragic Tale of Kei
and Akane."
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#
Genma Saotome took off down the stairs yelling; Ranma-
chan was close behind him; Kane-chan was still wrapped
around Ranma's arms. Demon Head Soun Tendou was licking
at their heels, giving them the evil eye.
+
Kasumi was barely aware of what was going on further down
the long stairway. She said, "Oh, my! I seem to have
given Akane the head start at being the girl."
The waddling old woman assured her, "Though little girls
may think differently, the race is not won by the
swiftest. Each develops at their own pace. It is all a
matter of growth spurts."
Kasumi said, "Oh, my, I am confused. Akane and Ranma
appear to be past their major growth spurts. Weren't we
talking about something other than..." she became modest,
"...physical development?"
The old woman smiled, "Then think of it as a phase. They
are currently in a...tomboy phase. Surely you have had a
friend or two growing up like that who quite rapidly took
to being a woman?"
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$
Kuno, of course, had to protest that "one as pure of
heart as I does not stoop to entertain hearsay rumor."
After making his expected speech, he gave Nabiki the
5,000-yen. She almost added 1,000 as an added tax for
having to pretend to listen to his speech.
Meanwhile, Nabiki had ordered extra garlicky Italian
bread with a raw onion on the side. She took a bite of
the bread and then cut the onion, "It all started with
the clan feud between the Fukuoka Tendous and Saotomes."
She took another bite of the garlicky bread, waiting for
him to react. He didn't. "Fukuoka is the province of the
Main Island of Japan closest to the Okinawa Islands(?)."
Kuno wrinkled his nose, "Okinawa: The Still of Japanese
Martial Arts!! So that is how the two families came by
their interest in the fowl practice that reeks of the
peasant class." Then his mind wondered to another
thought, "Do you think Fukuoka is where fuku/girls'
sailor suits got started?"
Nabiki rolled her eyes, and continued with her story,
"The feud is SO ancient the elders of the clans finally
realized that nobody could remember how it started. In an
attempt to make peace, they agreed to as many arranged
marriages between clan members as they could find
candidates."
Kuno's eyes began to water, "..."Arranged marriages"!
They are the stuff that tragic legends are made from.
Even the great English bard Shakespeare wrote of their
comedic tragedy."
Nabiki continued to cut the onion. That her own eyes were
a bit moist helped her presentation. "That is the
problem. The only potential couple available is Kei and
Akane."
Kuno wept for them, "But THEY love others, and not one
another. How very archetypal!"
Nabiki said, "Actually, they DO love each other. At least
Akane loves Kei. But Kei refuses to be agree to anything
until his birthright is recognized."
Kuno could relate to birthrights; he said with passion,
"The man is man enough there! And what is the heritage
that has been ripped from his soul!?!"
Nabiki set down her fork and knife and tried to look
solemn. "Kei wishes to reclaim his clan name. You see Kei
Tendou was born a Saotome."
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#
Demon Head Soun Tendou was too out of practice for Ranma-
chan's speed; he was now meters behind her.
Kane-chan yelled, "Why are you running from Dad!?!! Are
you afraid of him??"
Ranma-chan told her, "NO! I'm not afraid of a stupid
projection technique!" But she may have protested too
much. "I'm looking for some water so I can get you off of
me!"
Kane-chan smiled, "You don't think that'll make me even
stronger?"
Ranma-chan said back, "It'll also make you longer! But
I'm bettin' girls cling better 'n guys! It's the way
they're built!"
Kane-chan wondered if she wasn't right. KANEDA-KUN had
never done the Cling on anybody.
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$
Still at the Italian food franchise, Kuno repeated, "Kei
Tendou wishes to be recognized as a Saotome??" He coughed
briefly on the fumes he'd sucked in.
Nabiki thought, There! Let "Kei Tendou" say he's really
a Saotome: A lot of good that ought to do him.
Kuno was confused. That was nothing new for him, but this
time he allowed himself to show it. "If he is truly a Kei
Saotome, how did he become a Tendou?"
Nabiki came to what she thought was the most ingenious
part of her story, "What is a feud of honor if there is
nobody left to carry the tradition forward? Seeing that
the head of the Tendou clan's direct line had no son, the
head of the clan Saotome clan, out of a respect born of a
lifetime of rivalry, allowed the adoption of Kei."
She then made a show of feminine conflict by looking
away. "...And Akane was given to the Saotomes in
exchange." It was now time to make the story MORE
believable; she looked straight at Kuno-baby, "Akane--
Plus a prized relic that the Saotomes wanted." Simply
exchanging a girl for a boy wasn't considered a fair
trade by old-line traditionalists (including, she was
sure, Kuno). It was the relic that would be considered
the main part of the deal.
Kuno thought he understood. "Then, then Akane Saotome is
by blood Akane Tendou?" The plot was complicated but not
convoluted. In fact it was the opposite of "Romeo and
Juliet" in that the hero was not trying to DENY his
family, but...As he was pondering this, he something else
bubbled up from the depths of his mind, "WHAT prized
relic?!"
Nabiki knew Kuno collected antiques. And nothing was more
tempting to him than a relic. This was yet another
business opportunity. "They wouldn't tell me. It's too
valuable to let anybody know what it is or where they hid
it." How long it would be 'hidden' would depend on how
much she could get the bidding up. And "mysterious" was
always a draw.
Nabiki said, "Akane knows as much about the relic as Kei.
Would you consider giving the doll to her?"
Kuno said, "But of course! I asked about conveying my
gift to the Pig-tailed Ranma Saotome as my intercessor
because I did not know how to reach Akane Saotome."
Though, now that he thought of it, by the two girls
having the same family name, there HAD been a chance one
knew the other.
Nabiki said, "I could. But I have a better person in
mind."
Kuno asked, rising from the booth's bench, "You know of a
person whose word can reach my lady Akane's heart!?!"
Nabiki smiled, "Ice cream, please!"
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+
Kasumi and the old priestess continued on their walk down
the stairs. "Oh, my! So, you're advising I should
encourage BOTH of them to explore their feminine side?"
The old woman said, "Until such time as your heart tells
you otherwise. I believe your heart is pure. It will know
when the answer to this puzzle is reached. But until you
are sure, my advice is, yes."
Kasumi was still concerned, "Oh, my, what a
responsibility. But couldn't I do more harm than good to
the one who will not be the girl?"
The waddling old woman asked, "How many wives wish their
husbands had an understanding of what they must go
through?" She turned away, her hands behind her back,
"But if he is any kind of man, he will survive. If need
be, there are certain methods that can make the
distinctions black and white, on and off, male and
female." She looked down at Ranma-chan leaping the last
eight steps of the stairway with Kane-chan. "Perhaps the
methods have already been employed." She became very
serious, "THEN time as a woman would correct any
misconceptions that have occurred."
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#
Ranma-chan reached the park-like swath of grass looking
for water. She made her decision, "Water is downhill."
Kane-chan commented, "With us, not necessarily."
The Demon Head cried, "I caught you!!"
Ranma-chan gave a reaction. Kane-chan, rather than test a
girl's ability to stretch, let go. This caused her to be
thrown up into the air.
Kane-chan aimed for Mr. Demon Head.
It disappeared and Soun Tendou cried, "I caught you" as
he held her in his arms.
Tired, he did drop to his knees, though. Kane-chan yelled
at her dad, "Why did you do that for!? She was about to
get me wet!"
Soun Tendou wept, "Oh, lovely Akane! Tell me you do not
entertain thoughts about women!"
Kane-chan pushed herself free from him, "I'm telling you:
The second to the last thing I want to be is a pervert-
girl!"
Soun Tendou's crying eased as he asked, "Then you ARE
interested in men?"
Kane-chan told him, "And that's the LAST thing I want to
be!"
Soun Tendou stopped crying altogether. He had to think;
"What's left?"
Kane-chan meanwhile noticed, "Ranma's getting away!"
Soun watched her run after the leaping redhead. "She
likes women who dress like men??"
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$
Nabiki was eating a two-scoop ice cream cone at another
restaurant in the "Shopping Plaza". "To give a gift of
your affection for Akane, you must first give it to Kei."
Kuno cried, "What!!? But I have no affection for him!"
Nabiki licked on her cone, and said, "Kei IS Akane's
fiance. It would be more honorable to confront him with
your intentions?"
Kuno nodded, "Yes; confront!" and reached for his wooden
sword...that he was uncharacteristically without.
Nabiki coldly told him, "You won't have to confront him
that way, Kuno." She explained to the moron, "Kei says he
doesn't want to be engaged to Akane. He should give you
his blessing. He will even HELP you win her."...until he
finally understands he could lose her. Then, if he has
any feelings for Kane-chan, they will finally be forced
out in the open. And if Kei does reject her..."Akane will
be so hurt and angry she'll GIVE you the relic as her
dowry."
Kuno said, "But of course! My gift would have more
meaning if Kei Tendou were the agent of my love!! It then
symbolizes betrayal. --And Akane would come to me on the
rebound!!" And it will be out of love and respect that
she shall do what all women must do for their man, and
make that ultimate sacrifice!
Nabiki was satisfied, "Then you will forget about Ranma?"
And if Kei DOES reject Akane, (thanks to Part B of
Nabiki's Master Plan) Ranma would have little choice but
be Kaneda's ... and with Kuno out of the running.
Kuno said, "Who says I have to forget her?"
Nabiki bit into her cone, "Then you are going to two-time
Akane?"
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#
Kane-chan followed Ranma-chan as best she could. It was
hard to do when Ranma was taking the rooftop express and
she was hoofing it. At least Kane-chan wasn't wearing
anything with heels. (And a swishy skirt didn't hurt.)
Then in a narrow ally Kane-chan found her way blocked.
By Ranma's father: "Now that we are alone, it is time to
have a discussion." He rubbed the spot on his head that
Kaneda had hammered yesterday morning.
Kane-chan eyed the man; so far the only threat came from
the tone of his voice. She made no moves, but prepared
herself for an attack. "There's nothing more to discuss
until the marriage contract. If Ranma's going to marry
any Tendou, it's going to be me."
Saotome told her, "Is that so!? I'll have you know I
raised Ranma to be a man among men. He'd rather commit
seppuku than be less!"
Kane-chan thought, This guy's a real jerk! He'd rather
see a dead son, than a live daughter! "That sounds like
a CHALLENGE: If you want me to prove how much of a man *I*
am, I'm willing to risk suicide!"
Saotome's eyes shifted around as if he tried to decide
whether that was a good idea or not. Kane-chan then
added, "But instead of Ranma, it'll be between YOU and
me!"
Saotome decided that having a suicide contest WAS a bad
idea: "But this is between you and--"
Splash!
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+
Kasumi and the old priestess had reached the bottom of
the stairs and were preparing to make their good-byes.
But Kasumi had a thought, "Oh, my! What if BOTH Kaneda
and Ranma are unable to become the woman? What will
happen to their relationship, then?"
The old priestess told her, "There are two parts to the
omamori you have in your purse. The first is the red
string."
Kasumi nodded, "I am to sew pieces of the red string into
their clothing. That will keep them magically tied to
each other."
The old priestess said, "The second is the fabric
rectangle the prayer is written on. It was originally
created for Akane, but it can apply to Ranma, as well,
when you pray over it. The only question is where to
place it."
Kasumi asked, "It doesn't go back under Kaneda's
mattress?"
The old priestess explained, "Goodness, no! It has to be
some place that BOTH own, or nobody owns. And it has to
have Yin."
Kasumi didn't blink as she pondered, "Yin? As in the
feminine principle?"
The old priestess nodded solemnly, "We ARE encouraging
them to be more feminine. As for what has Yin, how much
do you know about Feng Shui?"
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$
Nabiki eyed Kuno's too cute, girl doll. Right now, the
thing could go to both Akane and Ranma, or neither. If
she didn't do something her plans for Ranma-chan were
going to unravel. But with a plan as finely meshed as
hers, snags along the way had to be expected.
She had moved them to a coffee shop. Coffee was something
else she normally didn't get at home. "Since "they are so
dear to you, you cannot bear to part with them", I WILL
offer you the photos I took of Ranma. 2,000-yen per
shot."
Kuno protested, "But it only cost 1,000 a photo of--"
Nabiki spread the photos out on the bar in front of the
shop's window.
Kuno marveled at the five different shots of Ranma-chan
undressed (and one where she WAS undressing!). "She's,
so..." his greedy hands them up, "unashamed before the
camera." They weren't a product of his fevered fantasies.
Nabiki grinned, "Unashamed is a good word for her. You'd
almost think she was a boy."
Kuno, still staring lustfully at the photos, said, "This
is proof that Ranma IS no boy!" Tears began to blur his
vision, "ONLY an utter knave like Kaneda Tendou would
deny that!"
When Nabiki went to take the photos back, Kuno quickly
gave her the 10,000-yen.
Nabiki said, "Ignoring the fact that you just insulted my
brother, I can tell you what to give Ranma. That doll
will NOT make the cut with her, Kuno."
Kuno looked at the doll, "But I wished to use it to
release the femininity that has been so cruelly locked
away in her."
Nabiki gave him a broad, calculating smile, "You need to
be more direct with Ranma. When it comes to things
feminine, you have to hit Ranma over the head with the
metaphorical two-by-four." She tried to keep her face
from looking too cleaver, "Ranma has no wardrobe. If she
is to start being feminine, she has to start LOOKING
feminine."
Kuno looked at the doll's old-fashioned long pink dress
with the frilly apron. "A lady DOES need a complete
assortment of attire for all occasions. Organdy dresses,
satin gowns, silken peignoirs..."
Nabiki suggested, "Take a look at those photos, again.
Surely you'd prefer to see Ranma in more, revealing
things?"
Kuno said, "As with the photos, a lady's modesty is best
assaulted away from the public eye. For somebody as pure
of heart as I, it is unthinkable expose a lady to the
lascivious leers of the rabble."
Nabiki said, "Ranma is no lady. And neither are most
girls, today."
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#
The panda growled in frustration!
Ranma-chan dropped down from the roof of one of the
buildings that lined the narrow ally. She landed between
the animal and Kane-chan.
Tossing away the pail of water she'd found, she yelled at
the beast, "Since when do you try and fight my battles
for me, Old Man! Stay out of this, or I'll be your
kaishaku myself! Because I KNOW you'd chicken out killing
yourself!"
Kane-chan asked, "What about me? Do you think *I* have the
guts!?!"
Ranma-chan looked over her shoulder, and snorted, "Hmmph!
Girls do seppuku in the neck, not the stomach, stupid."
She had definite ideas about what should remain purely
adult male.
Kane-chan cried, "I'd do the full seppuku ritual if it
would SHOW you I AM a man!"
Ranma-chan looked and walked away, "A real man'd only
commit suicide for honor."
Kane-chan stomped her foot forward, demanding, "Promise
me you'll be my kaishaku!"
Ranma-chan said, "Why!? You plan on showing your honor by
NOT going through with it?"
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$
Nabiki said, "Oh, one final thing, Kuno. The clans of
Fukuoka take the traditional ways seriously. If you're
going to give anything to one of their females, you're
going to have to first run it by her male kin."
Kuno nodded; he could understand about keeping up the
appearance of propriety. He WAS raised to have a pure
heart. "I will show my gift to Ranma Saotome to her
father."
Nabiki sounded scornful, "What are you thinking, Kuno?
You're about to declare your intentions for a man's
woman. You're THEN going to do the same for yet another
man's fiancee. To the father who ARRANGED her
engagement."
His eyes opened, Kuno said, "I see.... Two-timing CAN
complicate matters of the heart."
Nabiki told him, "What you need is an advocate within
their ranks."
Kuno asked, "And that would be?..." Then he got it:
"Another Saotome!"
Nabiki's smile was almost a gloat, "Right: Kei is really
a Saotome." Kuno kept coming back for more from Kaneda,
but even HE isn't masochist enough to date Ranma after
"Kei" gets through with him. And Kaneda.
Nabiki, for all her cunning, did not know about the Kuno
curse.
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+
After Kasumi had said sayonara and was walking away, the
old priestess called out, "Do not worry if things do not
look as if they are not going as planned! The goddess of
reason knows reason is not the way of humans."
The End of this chapter
[Summary of Kasumi's part: Ranma doesn't know about the
magic red string, so she thinks it's the invisible corset
that binds her to Kaneda. What she doesn't know (or feel)
she can't break. Dissonance will also sabotage her
efforts to free herself. BUT the rectangle with the
written pray when placed in the doll will give either
Ranma OR Kaneda an equal chance at being the girl. One
WILL pass the tests.]
[Summary of Nabiki's part: Kei and Akane were exchanged
at birth. Kei would rather be a Saotome. Kei thinks he
wants to get rid of Akane. But Kuno not only wants Kei's
help to get Akane, but Ranma.]
[Summary of the Two Fathers: Soun thinks Akane likes
butch girls. Genma thinks Kaneda will challenge him to a
suicide contest if he makes too much trouble.]
By Ron Dow75
10: A Doll For Two
[Note: Scenes where the focus is on Nabiki or Kuno are
marked with a dollar sign ($). Scenes where the focus is
on Kasumi are marked with a plus sign (+). Scenes about
everybody else are marked with a pound sign (#).
Summaries are after "The End".]
Kane-chan leaped back onto the flagstone he'd started
from. She turned around, and took up a triumphant stance
in her white dress with the bows and frills. Only mildly
breathing hard, the black-haired girl said to the red-
haired girl, "Are you ready to be trapped inside the
corset?!"
Ranma-chan cried, "No!! There ain't no corset!! It's all
in the sick old priest's sick mind and yours!!"
Kane-chan confidently smiled, "We'll see how long you
believe THAT!" And she pulled the red string she imagined
in her hand.
Ranma-chan leaped before the snare could be closed:
"Ha!!"
Pebbles from the Shinto priest's blowgun rapidly struck
Ranma-chan's lumbar vertebrae. "Hey!!" The impact
affected her balance.
Ranma-chan fell back onto the temple's stone courtyard,
"Ouf!"
Kane-chan cried, "Yes: I have bound you!!"
(Her father cried, "Oh, Akane!" He tried to cover his
eyes. But the tea set he was holding got in the way.)
Ranma-chan cried back, "No you did--" As she was shoving
herself off the ground, she felt tightness around her
waist. "What gives!!?!" she put a hand on the area, "I
KNOW I didn't pulled a muscle." ...Make that muscles.
Sitting up, she brought her other hand up, too, "Why do
this stupid narrow waist feel even narrower!?!"
Kane-chan walked toward her, "Because that's what corsets
do: They constrict the waist area."
Ryoushin, the old priest, cackled, "Corsets emphasize the
woman's figure!! They are FOURTH after brassieres,
bustles and high heels in importance in shaping a woman!"
Ranma-chan stammered, " "Sh, sha, shaping"!?!! As in
makin' you more of a woman!!?!"
The old priest said as an enthusiastic student of love,
"But MORE than the others, its hourglass figure announces
to the world the woman is not pregnant!"
Ranma-chan turned white, "Pre, gnant!?...."
(Kasumi cried, "Oh, My!!"
(She and the old priestess had just come out of the
building that hid the accursed well. The old priestess
quietly told Kasumi, "Do not worry. The corset shiatsu
will wear off soon." Then she frowned towards her
husband, "Unless the old fool forgot that it was not
meant to be permanent.")
Kane-chan had reached Ranma-chan, "The priest said NOT
pregnant. ...As in "yet"." I can't believe I said that.
Ranma-chan glared up at her as she got up on her own,
"Oh, THAT makes me feel better!" Straightening out, she
put a hand to her diaphragm, "If I wasn't trained to
breathe outward from the sides, this could interfere with
my skills."
Kane-chan said, "That's good. I want you to know I don't
want your martial arts abilities compromised. They mean
too much to you."
The old priest joined them, "Very eloquent. Benten is the
goddess of eloquence, you know."
Ranma turned her glare to him, "What ISN'T she a goddess
of!?"
The old priestess clapped her hands, "It is time to
LEAVE! The water vapor of this place is beginning to
affect you. Too much time here and you will talk in fine
words empty of inspiration and reason!"
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$
Meanwhile, Tatewaki Kuno, heir to an ancient samurai
legacy and the fortune their ways brought, sat in a
humble eatery. He gazed not at the gaggling geese of
ordinary girls around him, but at what he held in his
hands. She was a blue eyed, blond dolly in a frilly white
apron, pink dress and two hair ribbons. "Yea, you art the
very image of my dearest ones! Or, rather, the image they
would have, had they been allowed to express their true,
and full femininity. But, nay: The vile, and disreputable
Tendou clan get their evil power from stealing
reputations!" His voice rose higher with his passion,
"But this pure heart will win your freedoms, so that you
may be adoring ladies of my court!!"
He had stood to hold the doll aloft in one hand.
A voice that could have been that of the doll's said,
"What an idiot."
He hadn't noticed that all other conversations had
stopped.
Another voice answered, "I'll say! Where does he get his
stupid ideas!?"
A third said, "He's probably been 'INSPIRED' by an O.D.
of samurai tales."
A fourth said, "More like heroic boys' mangas and
animes."
A fifth laughed, "He thinks he has the "eternal fighting
samurai spirit alive within"!"
A sixth joined her, "Just like my EIGHT-year-old
brother!"
A seventh grinned, "What is it your little brother says?
"What is a hero without implacable enemies to temper your
manhood against"." More girlish laughter followed.
Since the restaurant was full of girls, and not a boy in
sight to take retribution on, Kuno seated himself again.
He was enough of an aristocrat not to blush in front of
the hoi polloi of the opposite sex.
Though he almost lost that resolve with: "Do you think
that's the ONLY doll he has?"
"*Giggle* As in "anatomically correct"?"
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#
Ranma-chan quoted, " "Talk in fine words empty of
inspiration or reason"?" And he walked to where her pop
was snoring, "Then I'd BETTER get Pop outta here: He
doesn't need to be any more like that!"
Ranma-chan reached down and hefted the overweight man
onto a shoulder. It wasn't a spectacular show of
strength; her back was bent under the burden, but she did
it.
Still, Kane-chan was impressed; "You can do that in a
corset?"
Ranma-chan didn't like that thought. "I can think of it
as a straw back brace, like many men of Japan wear!"
Again with the "Urusei Yatsura" reference: That's what
Ryuunosuke's psychotically manly father was always
wearing.
Kane-chan thought, Stubborn! That's also supposed to be
for virility.
The old priestess hurried to usher everybody out, "This
temple WILL give the unfortunate nine abilities."
Kasumi asked, "Oh, my, you mean..."
Mrs. Priestess nodded towards her, "Yes. The curse is to
have the ability, but not the CAPABILITY. For the talents
to mean anything, there has to be the blessing of the
goddess of reason and inspiration."
Kasumi said, "Oh, my, how tragic."
Soun Tendou joined the others after putting the tea set
on the temple porch. "Akane, may I speak with you, now?"
Ranma-chan had reached the corner of the main hall still
carrying her pop. "Go ahead and talk with him, 'Akane'!
'Cause I ain't gonna be engaged to you, contest or no
contest!"
Genma Saotome stirred, "Contest!? What contest!?!"
(Kane-chan saw another blowgun dart in Saotome's neck.
The antidote! She scowled, That old priest has perfect
timing.)
Before Soun could inform his friend, the old priest broke
in, "The dark-haired girl has won the right to red-haired
girl's hand!"
Genma pushed himself up off of Ranma-chan, "What!!?!"
Ranma-chan dropped him. She stood over him, "I did NOT
lose!! Ranma Saotome doesn't lose!!"
Kane-chan told Ranma-chan (and her father), "At martial
arts: But this wasn't martial arts! It was a test to see
which one of us DESERVED to be blessed by the goddess. I
won!"
Genma was still confused. Soun told him, "It seems Akane
has her cap set on your son. And she apparently doesn't
care if he's a girl."
Ranma-chan said, "What'd you mean "IF"!?!"
Soun had a thought about his would-be daughter-in-law,
"You don't suppose young Akane...has an unnatural
preference?"
Genma said, "To put it politely in your company."
The old priest yelled, "Hail and Farewell Attack!!" A
shower of pebbles began to rain down on all but Kasumi,
behind him.
The martial artists ran for the way out.
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$
Nabiki entered the restaurant where her "date" with Kuno-
baby was to begin. How appropriate they would meet at the
place where they had broke up. The proprietress paused
from her work to greet her, "Come in! Come in!"
Nabiki looked around the crowded little place. She got
the satisfaction of seeing Kuno waiting. He was hiding in
a far corner with his back to everybody else.
When Kuno turned, Nabiki saw to her disappointment it
wasn't because he had sensed her presence. He looked
unusually quiet and pensive for him. Was he looking
towards some laughing girls?
Well, Kuno-baby had chosen this place to meet. The idiot
SHOULD be ashamed to be seen there. As she remembered it,
she had made quite a scene that last time they were here.
But would that have really penetrated that thick head of
his?
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#
The Saotomes were out the gate before everybody else.
Kane-chan was pulling on her dad's arm, when he stopped
her. He cried, "Kasumi! Where is Kasumi!?!!"
+
Kasumi called from within the temple walls, "Right here,
Father!"
The old priestess said, "She'll be with you presently.
SHE will be one blessed by the goddess."
Before her father could say anything, Kasumi said, "No,
Mrs. Priestess. Oh, my, no. I am not ready to have my
life changed."
The old woman told her, "But I still have things to tell
you!"
Kasumi said, "Then you can tell me as we go down this
long stairway." She called to the others: "Go ahead! I'll
meet you all at the bottom!"
#
Kane-chan pulled harder on her dad, "Come on, you heard
her." He looked down at Ranma-chan. The pig-tailed girl
had stopped because her father had to catch his breath.
As Kane-chan watched Ranma-chan yell at her father, she
thought, I have to get down there before Saotome does
get his wind back! He's going to try and take back
whatever control I won over Ranma!
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$
Nabiki brought the tray with her meal over to the table
Kuno-baby was sitting at. He was waiting impatiently but
nobly. It was tempting to make him stew a little longer.
But she sat down, and uncovered her bowl. She said in a
tone that told him she hadn't forgiven him yet, "What's
this all about? It's not like you to treat a girl to
snacks." She broke her chopsticks apart as emphasis.
Kuno said, "I have a favor to ask. Keep it in mind that a
man in my position is not accustomed to asking for
favors. I would take it ill indeed if you were to take me
lightly, Nabiki Tendou."
Nabiki had been trying to enjoy her dumplings in sweet
red bean soup. She said to the jerk, "Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So spill it already. Now, what can I do for you, Kuno."
Kuno said, "Well, I shall swallow my pride." It took him
a second to do that. "It's this," and held up the
collectable.
Nabiki looked. "What is "this"?"
Kuno told her, "It's a cute, little dolly."
Nabiki told him, "I know THAT. But what is it for?"
Kuno told her, "It is a present."
Nabiki waved it off, "No, thanks." Now that she had a
good look at it, it was too cheap to be a collectable.
She went back to her meal.
Kuno told her, "I never said it was for you, Nabiki. It
is a token of my affection for Ranma Saotome, the Pig-
tailed girl."
Nabiki stopped her eating. She had been playing the
"former girlfriend" and had forgotten why she was there.
The thought of That's, for, FOR RANMA! was too much: It
was to laugh.
Nabiki did laugh, and though she tried to keep it in the
food in her mouth got out. "Ha! Ha! Ha! Ah, Ha! Ha! Ha!"
She stifled it as soon as she could. She placed her face
back on with a threat-like, "Now look at what you made me
do, Kuno."
His own face covered with her half-chewed food, Kuno
returned with controlled anger, "So sweet and voluble
your discourse."
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#
Kane-chan ran down the stairs ahead of her dad. "Ranma!
You're wearing the corset, that makes YOU the girl!"
Genma Saotome yelled, "What!!?!"
Soun Tendou said, "Well, something did happen to Ranma."
Ranma-chan screamed, "Just 'cause somebody FORCES me into
something doesn't make me "the girl"!!"
Kane-chan stopped out of Saotome's swing; "That somebody
was the goddess!"
Soun Tendou said, "Well, we WERE at the goddess's
temple."
Genma Saotome studied his child, "ARE you wearing a
corset, boy!?!"
Ranma-chan cried, "It's invisible!!" feeling it. Then she
screamed directly at Kane-chan, " And if we're talkin'
about goddesses, what about YOU!!?! YOU'RE the one
wearin' the stupid dress with the ribbons everybody can
see!"
Genma Saotome nodded towards the girl who clearly looked
like a girl, "That's right."
Soun Tendou nodded as well, "Indeed."
Kane-chan cried, "It's Kasumi's idea!!"
Ranma-chan crossed her arms under her chest, "And the old
priestess thinks the goddess likes the way Kasumi
thinks."
Kane-chan screamed, "Just because somebody forces me into
wearing something I don't want doesn't make me a girl!"
Soun Tendou said, "Dear me, Akane does have a problem,
doesn't she?"
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$
Nabiki looked across the table at the guy who thought he
was the living embodiment of the samurai spirit and his
cute, little dolly. He was wiping the food particles off
of his face. "You must really have a thing for Ranma, eh,
Kuno?"
Nabiki did a quick calculation in her head. "I just
happen to have some photos."
Kuno cried, "Photos!?"
Nabiki teased, "Want to see them?"
Kuno's eyes shifted as he tried to do his own
calculations. "Hmph!" He and he tossed his head back,
trying to look nonchalant about the matter. "Well, I..."
Nabiki interrupted the act, "Tell you what. Buy me some
spaghetti, and I MIGHT let you see them."
Kuno's fist hit the table, "This is torture!"
Nabiki made ready to "break off" the transaction, "Hey!
If you don't want to see them."
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#
Kane-chan told them all, "All *I* have to do is find some
cool water, and *I* won't be a girl!" And he leaped down
the stairs.
Kane-chan went past the surprised elder Saotome and for
Ranma-chan. Ranma reflexively "saved" the girl. In Ranma-
chan's arms, Kane-chan used her Vine-Clinging-on-a-Statue
technique to glomp on.
Ranma-chan cried, "What'd you do that for!!?!"
Kane-chan "This is a more interesting way to find water.
You'll help me, won't you, Ranma?" Wide-eye flutter.
Genma Saotome told Ranma to, "Hold her, son! I'll knock
her off!" He reared up his had to do just that.
Her arms trapped, Ranma-chan ran down the stairs: "Geez,
Pop! Whatever happened to "not hittin' girls"!?!"
Genma answered, "But she's--"
Suddenly, close behind him: "GEN-MA!!"
Genma turned and saw a giant demon's head at his
shoulder. Demon Head Soun Tendou cried, "How DARE you
threaten to strike Akane, the very image of my dear
wife!!"
His fingers and hands up in a Takahashi, Genma grinned
nervously, "Can't we talk this out? (Heh, heh)"
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+
Nearer the top of the stairs, Kasumi cried, "Oh, my! How
rude of Father to become a demon on temple grounds.
Forgive him, Mrs. Priestess."
The old priestess said, "I sense no demon, so no offense
is taken. But allow me to continue...The corset shiatsu
is just to plant the idea within young Ranma that your,
uh, sibling won the favor of the goddess. But humans are
not logical. If Ranma continues to feel the corset, she
will chafe under it and seek to free herself."
Kasumi said, "Oh, I see! That is why the corset will come
off soon."
The old priestess said, "Yes. Ranma will have nothing to
PHYSICALLY rebel against. THAT combined with the tether
of the red string will bind her far more securely."
Kasumi asked, "Oh, my, then, Ranma will be the girl?"
The old woman said, "Only if she passes the tests."
Kasumi asked, "Tests?"
The old woman said, "Both Ranma and Kaneda have can
become female. It is their Karma. It now becomes a matter
of which one is better suited to be the woman. In a word,
ENDURE. Which one can endure what a woman goes through."
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$
Nabiki had taken Kuno next door in the "Shopping Plaza"
to a Western-style restaurant that served spaghetti.
Unlike sweet dumplings, pasta wasn't something she had
had very often, "Mmm!"
But she was there on business. With her mouth still full,
she laid five photos face up on the table, "Here's the
deal: One thousand yen per shot."
When Kuno saw what was on them, he cried, "Whoh, hoa!"
Akane Saotome was out in her yellow kempo-gi. She was
working out in the arena in front of the dojo. Besides a
sweaty, frowning profile, she was high-kicking, lifting
dumbbells, hitting a punching bag, and demolishing some
cinderblocks. "What strength! What power! I'll take
them," he said taking a 5,000-yen note from the pocket
inside his kendo-gi shirt where he kept his walking-
around money.
Picking the photos up, he admired them, She is truly a
tigress among kittens. A truly capable girl. Then he
thought to ask, "How did you obtain these objets d'arte
martiale?"
Nabiki was back to enjoying her spaghetti, "She is
engaged to a Tendou. KEI Tendou."
Kuno got excited in a way different from when he viewed
the photos, "You KNOW how to get in touch with Akane
Saotome!?!!"
Nabiki smiled to herself; her plan was falling back into
place, "5,000-yen more for "The Very Tragic Tale of Kei
and Akane."
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#
Genma Saotome took off down the stairs yelling; Ranma-
chan was close behind him; Kane-chan was still wrapped
around Ranma's arms. Demon Head Soun Tendou was licking
at their heels, giving them the evil eye.
+
Kasumi was barely aware of what was going on further down
the long stairway. She said, "Oh, my! I seem to have
given Akane the head start at being the girl."
The waddling old woman assured her, "Though little girls
may think differently, the race is not won by the
swiftest. Each develops at their own pace. It is all a
matter of growth spurts."
Kasumi said, "Oh, my, I am confused. Akane and Ranma
appear to be past their major growth spurts. Weren't we
talking about something other than..." she became modest,
"...physical development?"
The old woman smiled, "Then think of it as a phase. They
are currently in a...tomboy phase. Surely you have had a
friend or two growing up like that who quite rapidly took
to being a woman?"
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$
Kuno, of course, had to protest that "one as pure of
heart as I does not stoop to entertain hearsay rumor."
After making his expected speech, he gave Nabiki the
5,000-yen. She almost added 1,000 as an added tax for
having to pretend to listen to his speech.
Meanwhile, Nabiki had ordered extra garlicky Italian
bread with a raw onion on the side. She took a bite of
the bread and then cut the onion, "It all started with
the clan feud between the Fukuoka Tendous and Saotomes."
She took another bite of the garlicky bread, waiting for
him to react. He didn't. "Fukuoka is the province of the
Main Island of Japan closest to the Okinawa Islands(?)."
Kuno wrinkled his nose, "Okinawa: The Still of Japanese
Martial Arts!! So that is how the two families came by
their interest in the fowl practice that reeks of the
peasant class." Then his mind wondered to another
thought, "Do you think Fukuoka is where fuku/girls'
sailor suits got started?"
Nabiki rolled her eyes, and continued with her story,
"The feud is SO ancient the elders of the clans finally
realized that nobody could remember how it started. In an
attempt to make peace, they agreed to as many arranged
marriages between clan members as they could find
candidates."
Kuno's eyes began to water, "..."Arranged marriages"!
They are the stuff that tragic legends are made from.
Even the great English bard Shakespeare wrote of their
comedic tragedy."
Nabiki continued to cut the onion. That her own eyes were
a bit moist helped her presentation. "That is the
problem. The only potential couple available is Kei and
Akane."
Kuno wept for them, "But THEY love others, and not one
another. How very archetypal!"
Nabiki said, "Actually, they DO love each other. At least
Akane loves Kei. But Kei refuses to be agree to anything
until his birthright is recognized."
Kuno could relate to birthrights; he said with passion,
"The man is man enough there! And what is the heritage
that has been ripped from his soul!?!"
Nabiki set down her fork and knife and tried to look
solemn. "Kei wishes to reclaim his clan name. You see Kei
Tendou was born a Saotome."
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#
Demon Head Soun Tendou was too out of practice for Ranma-
chan's speed; he was now meters behind her.
Kane-chan yelled, "Why are you running from Dad!?!! Are
you afraid of him??"
Ranma-chan told her, "NO! I'm not afraid of a stupid
projection technique!" But she may have protested too
much. "I'm looking for some water so I can get you off of
me!"
Kane-chan smiled, "You don't think that'll make me even
stronger?"
Ranma-chan said back, "It'll also make you longer! But
I'm bettin' girls cling better 'n guys! It's the way
they're built!"
Kane-chan wondered if she wasn't right. KANEDA-KUN had
never done the Cling on anybody.
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$
Still at the Italian food franchise, Kuno repeated, "Kei
Tendou wishes to be recognized as a Saotome??" He coughed
briefly on the fumes he'd sucked in.
Nabiki thought, There! Let "Kei Tendou" say he's really
a Saotome: A lot of good that ought to do him.
Kuno was confused. That was nothing new for him, but this
time he allowed himself to show it. "If he is truly a Kei
Saotome, how did he become a Tendou?"
Nabiki came to what she thought was the most ingenious
part of her story, "What is a feud of honor if there is
nobody left to carry the tradition forward? Seeing that
the head of the Tendou clan's direct line had no son, the
head of the clan Saotome clan, out of a respect born of a
lifetime of rivalry, allowed the adoption of Kei."
She then made a show of feminine conflict by looking
away. "...And Akane was given to the Saotomes in
exchange." It was now time to make the story MORE
believable; she looked straight at Kuno-baby, "Akane--
Plus a prized relic that the Saotomes wanted." Simply
exchanging a girl for a boy wasn't considered a fair
trade by old-line traditionalists (including, she was
sure, Kuno). It was the relic that would be considered
the main part of the deal.
Kuno thought he understood. "Then, then Akane Saotome is
by blood Akane Tendou?" The plot was complicated but not
convoluted. In fact it was the opposite of "Romeo and
Juliet" in that the hero was not trying to DENY his
family, but...As he was pondering this, he something else
bubbled up from the depths of his mind, "WHAT prized
relic?!"
Nabiki knew Kuno collected antiques. And nothing was more
tempting to him than a relic. This was yet another
business opportunity. "They wouldn't tell me. It's too
valuable to let anybody know what it is or where they hid
it." How long it would be 'hidden' would depend on how
much she could get the bidding up. And "mysterious" was
always a draw.
Nabiki said, "Akane knows as much about the relic as Kei.
Would you consider giving the doll to her?"
Kuno said, "But of course! I asked about conveying my
gift to the Pig-tailed Ranma Saotome as my intercessor
because I did not know how to reach Akane Saotome."
Though, now that he thought of it, by the two girls
having the same family name, there HAD been a chance one
knew the other.
Nabiki said, "I could. But I have a better person in
mind."
Kuno asked, rising from the booth's bench, "You know of a
person whose word can reach my lady Akane's heart!?!"
Nabiki smiled, "Ice cream, please!"
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+
Kasumi and the old priestess continued on their walk down
the stairs. "Oh, my! So, you're advising I should
encourage BOTH of them to explore their feminine side?"
The old woman said, "Until such time as your heart tells
you otherwise. I believe your heart is pure. It will know
when the answer to this puzzle is reached. But until you
are sure, my advice is, yes."
Kasumi was still concerned, "Oh, my, what a
responsibility. But couldn't I do more harm than good to
the one who will not be the girl?"
The waddling old woman asked, "How many wives wish their
husbands had an understanding of what they must go
through?" She turned away, her hands behind her back,
"But if he is any kind of man, he will survive. If need
be, there are certain methods that can make the
distinctions black and white, on and off, male and
female." She looked down at Ranma-chan leaping the last
eight steps of the stairway with Kane-chan. "Perhaps the
methods have already been employed." She became very
serious, "THEN time as a woman would correct any
misconceptions that have occurred."
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#
Ranma-chan reached the park-like swath of grass looking
for water. She made her decision, "Water is downhill."
Kane-chan commented, "With us, not necessarily."
The Demon Head cried, "I caught you!!"
Ranma-chan gave a reaction. Kane-chan, rather than test a
girl's ability to stretch, let go. This caused her to be
thrown up into the air.
Kane-chan aimed for Mr. Demon Head.
It disappeared and Soun Tendou cried, "I caught you" as
he held her in his arms.
Tired, he did drop to his knees, though. Kane-chan yelled
at her dad, "Why did you do that for!? She was about to
get me wet!"
Soun Tendou wept, "Oh, lovely Akane! Tell me you do not
entertain thoughts about women!"
Kane-chan pushed herself free from him, "I'm telling you:
The second to the last thing I want to be is a pervert-
girl!"
Soun Tendou's crying eased as he asked, "Then you ARE
interested in men?"
Kane-chan told him, "And that's the LAST thing I want to
be!"
Soun Tendou stopped crying altogether. He had to think;
"What's left?"
Kane-chan meanwhile noticed, "Ranma's getting away!"
Soun watched her run after the leaping redhead. "She
likes women who dress like men??"
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$
Nabiki was eating a two-scoop ice cream cone at another
restaurant in the "Shopping Plaza". "To give a gift of
your affection for Akane, you must first give it to Kei."
Kuno cried, "What!!? But I have no affection for him!"
Nabiki licked on her cone, and said, "Kei IS Akane's
fiance. It would be more honorable to confront him with
your intentions?"
Kuno nodded, "Yes; confront!" and reached for his wooden
sword...that he was uncharacteristically without.
Nabiki coldly told him, "You won't have to confront him
that way, Kuno." She explained to the moron, "Kei says he
doesn't want to be engaged to Akane. He should give you
his blessing. He will even HELP you win her."...until he
finally understands he could lose her. Then, if he has
any feelings for Kane-chan, they will finally be forced
out in the open. And if Kei does reject her..."Akane will
be so hurt and angry she'll GIVE you the relic as her
dowry."
Kuno said, "But of course! My gift would have more
meaning if Kei Tendou were the agent of my love!! It then
symbolizes betrayal. --And Akane would come to me on the
rebound!!" And it will be out of love and respect that
she shall do what all women must do for their man, and
make that ultimate sacrifice!
Nabiki was satisfied, "Then you will forget about Ranma?"
And if Kei DOES reject Akane, (thanks to Part B of
Nabiki's Master Plan) Ranma would have little choice but
be Kaneda's ... and with Kuno out of the running.
Kuno said, "Who says I have to forget her?"
Nabiki bit into her cone, "Then you are going to two-time
Akane?"
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#
Kane-chan followed Ranma-chan as best she could. It was
hard to do when Ranma was taking the rooftop express and
she was hoofing it. At least Kane-chan wasn't wearing
anything with heels. (And a swishy skirt didn't hurt.)
Then in a narrow ally Kane-chan found her way blocked.
By Ranma's father: "Now that we are alone, it is time to
have a discussion." He rubbed the spot on his head that
Kaneda had hammered yesterday morning.
Kane-chan eyed the man; so far the only threat came from
the tone of his voice. She made no moves, but prepared
herself for an attack. "There's nothing more to discuss
until the marriage contract. If Ranma's going to marry
any Tendou, it's going to be me."
Saotome told her, "Is that so!? I'll have you know I
raised Ranma to be a man among men. He'd rather commit
seppuku than be less!"
Kane-chan thought, This guy's a real jerk! He'd rather
see a dead son, than a live daughter! "That sounds like
a CHALLENGE: If you want me to prove how much of a man *I*
am, I'm willing to risk suicide!"
Saotome's eyes shifted around as if he tried to decide
whether that was a good idea or not. Kane-chan then
added, "But instead of Ranma, it'll be between YOU and
me!"
Saotome decided that having a suicide contest WAS a bad
idea: "But this is between you and--"
Splash!
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+
Kasumi and the old priestess had reached the bottom of
the stairs and were preparing to make their good-byes.
But Kasumi had a thought, "Oh, my! What if BOTH Kaneda
and Ranma are unable to become the woman? What will
happen to their relationship, then?"
The old priestess told her, "There are two parts to the
omamori you have in your purse. The first is the red
string."
Kasumi nodded, "I am to sew pieces of the red string into
their clothing. That will keep them magically tied to
each other."
The old priestess said, "The second is the fabric
rectangle the prayer is written on. It was originally
created for Akane, but it can apply to Ranma, as well,
when you pray over it. The only question is where to
place it."
Kasumi asked, "It doesn't go back under Kaneda's
mattress?"
The old priestess explained, "Goodness, no! It has to be
some place that BOTH own, or nobody owns. And it has to
have Yin."
Kasumi didn't blink as she pondered, "Yin? As in the
feminine principle?"
The old priestess nodded solemnly, "We ARE encouraging
them to be more feminine. As for what has Yin, how much
do you know about Feng Shui?"
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$
Nabiki eyed Kuno's too cute, girl doll. Right now, the
thing could go to both Akane and Ranma, or neither. If
she didn't do something her plans for Ranma-chan were
going to unravel. But with a plan as finely meshed as
hers, snags along the way had to be expected.
She had moved them to a coffee shop. Coffee was something
else she normally didn't get at home. "Since "they are so
dear to you, you cannot bear to part with them", I WILL
offer you the photos I took of Ranma. 2,000-yen per
shot."
Kuno protested, "But it only cost 1,000 a photo of--"
Nabiki spread the photos out on the bar in front of the
shop's window.
Kuno marveled at the five different shots of Ranma-chan
undressed (and one where she WAS undressing!). "She's,
so..." his greedy hands them up, "unashamed before the
camera." They weren't a product of his fevered fantasies.
Nabiki grinned, "Unashamed is a good word for her. You'd
almost think she was a boy."
Kuno, still staring lustfully at the photos, said, "This
is proof that Ranma IS no boy!" Tears began to blur his
vision, "ONLY an utter knave like Kaneda Tendou would
deny that!"
When Nabiki went to take the photos back, Kuno quickly
gave her the 10,000-yen.
Nabiki said, "Ignoring the fact that you just insulted my
brother, I can tell you what to give Ranma. That doll
will NOT make the cut with her, Kuno."
Kuno looked at the doll, "But I wished to use it to
release the femininity that has been so cruelly locked
away in her."
Nabiki gave him a broad, calculating smile, "You need to
be more direct with Ranma. When it comes to things
feminine, you have to hit Ranma over the head with the
metaphorical two-by-four." She tried to keep her face
from looking too cleaver, "Ranma has no wardrobe. If she
is to start being feminine, she has to start LOOKING
feminine."
Kuno looked at the doll's old-fashioned long pink dress
with the frilly apron. "A lady DOES need a complete
assortment of attire for all occasions. Organdy dresses,
satin gowns, silken peignoirs..."
Nabiki suggested, "Take a look at those photos, again.
Surely you'd prefer to see Ranma in more, revealing
things?"
Kuno said, "As with the photos, a lady's modesty is best
assaulted away from the public eye. For somebody as pure
of heart as I, it is unthinkable expose a lady to the
lascivious leers of the rabble."
Nabiki said, "Ranma is no lady. And neither are most
girls, today."
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#
The panda growled in frustration!
Ranma-chan dropped down from the roof of one of the
buildings that lined the narrow ally. She landed between
the animal and Kane-chan.
Tossing away the pail of water she'd found, she yelled at
the beast, "Since when do you try and fight my battles
for me, Old Man! Stay out of this, or I'll be your
kaishaku myself! Because I KNOW you'd chicken out killing
yourself!"
Kane-chan asked, "What about me? Do you think *I* have the
guts!?!"
Ranma-chan looked over her shoulder, and snorted, "Hmmph!
Girls do seppuku in the neck, not the stomach, stupid."
She had definite ideas about what should remain purely
adult male.
Kane-chan cried, "I'd do the full seppuku ritual if it
would SHOW you I AM a man!"
Ranma-chan looked and walked away, "A real man'd only
commit suicide for honor."
Kane-chan stomped her foot forward, demanding, "Promise
me you'll be my kaishaku!"
Ranma-chan said, "Why!? You plan on showing your honor by
NOT going through with it?"
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$
Nabiki said, "Oh, one final thing, Kuno. The clans of
Fukuoka take the traditional ways seriously. If you're
going to give anything to one of their females, you're
going to have to first run it by her male kin."
Kuno nodded; he could understand about keeping up the
appearance of propriety. He WAS raised to have a pure
heart. "I will show my gift to Ranma Saotome to her
father."
Nabiki sounded scornful, "What are you thinking, Kuno?
You're about to declare your intentions for a man's
woman. You're THEN going to do the same for yet another
man's fiancee. To the father who ARRANGED her
engagement."
His eyes opened, Kuno said, "I see.... Two-timing CAN
complicate matters of the heart."
Nabiki told him, "What you need is an advocate within
their ranks."
Kuno asked, "And that would be?..." Then he got it:
"Another Saotome!"
Nabiki's smile was almost a gloat, "Right: Kei is really
a Saotome." Kuno kept coming back for more from Kaneda,
but even HE isn't masochist enough to date Ranma after
"Kei" gets through with him. And Kaneda.
Nabiki, for all her cunning, did not know about the Kuno
curse.
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+
After Kasumi had said sayonara and was walking away, the
old priestess called out, "Do not worry if things do not
look as if they are not going as planned! The goddess of
reason knows reason is not the way of humans."
The End of this chapter
[Summary of Kasumi's part: Ranma doesn't know about the
magic red string, so she thinks it's the invisible corset
that binds her to Kaneda. What she doesn't know (or feel)
she can't break. Dissonance will also sabotage her
efforts to free herself. BUT the rectangle with the
written pray when placed in the doll will give either
Ranma OR Kaneda an equal chance at being the girl. One
WILL pass the tests.]
[Summary of Nabiki's part: Kei and Akane were exchanged
at birth. Kei would rather be a Saotome. Kei thinks he
wants to get rid of Akane. But Kuno not only wants Kei's
help to get Akane, but Ranma.]
[Summary of the Two Fathers: Soun thinks Akane likes
butch girls. Genma thinks Kaneda will challenge him to a
suicide contest if he makes too much trouble.]