Ranma & Kaneda
By Ron Dow75
12: Check Mate
[Kuno is bandaged only a bit differently here.]
The battle was over, and "Lord" Kuno was laying face down
on the pavement of the plaza around the condo.
Both Kane-chan and Nabiki went over to the for once
silent samurai.
Nabiki asked, "So; how'd you do that, Ranma?"
Kane-chan thought she knew, but she didn't like making a
fool of herself. She turned over still male and pushed
him over onto his back with one hand. She was right: The
kend-gi was had the grit from Ranma-kun's slippers on it,
and the exposed skin was black-and-blue with footprints.
It looked as if the vacant-eyed teen had been trampled
from groin to hair. Kane-chan was impressed, "Wow, each
blow hit a vulnerable spot." And more.
Nabiki squatted and studied the evidence, "You mean you
kicked him? I couldn't even see your feet move."
Ranma-kun put his hands up behind his head, "Hunh! I
thought "Lord" Kuno'd put up more of a fight."
Kane-chan asked, "What do you mean, Ranma; you took a
hit, too, didn't you?"
Ranma-kun said, "It's nothing."
Kane-chan wondered just HOW superior Ranma was, "You mean
right over here?" She bent down, "Is it really okay?" and
poked the spot on his corset-narrowed waist she KNEW had
been struck by Kuno's hard wood bokken.
Ranma-kun was suddenly no longer casual: His strangled
his cry of agony as his hands reacted to it. He finally
had to put his hands over the hurt.
Kane-chan was sore, A bluff!! He almost had me believing
he WAS at master-grade! Kane-chan stood up to him, "So
it's nothing, hunh!? Say! What was it that distracted you
in the fight, any way?!"
Ranma-kun held up two photos: They were Kane-chan in
Kaneda's do-gi working out.
Kane-chan stared at them for a second. "What in the
world?" Why would they take Ranma's mind off of his
fight? And "What were you doing with these photos of
me?" What do guys USUALLY do with pictures of girls?
Suddenly she saw them as Kaneda could, if they were
pictures of "real" girls, not herself. She grabbed them
away from him, "I'm afraid to even ask about it."
Because I don't want to THINK about it!!
Ranma-kun cried, "What was I--KUNO had the photos!"
Kane-chan cried, "OH-Hrrr! NABIKI!!"
Nabiki grinned, merrily, "Can't blame a girl for trying
to make a little cash."
Kane-chan realized even as she scoffed, "Hah!" that as a
GIRL, Nabiki could make more money off of photos of her.
Ranma-kun said, turning his back to her, "Hmmh! What's
the big deal? Who'd want a bunch of boring shots like
these, any way?" And he pulled out another photo. Talking
to her over his shoulder, he showed her it was of a half-
naked girl-Ranma! "You'd better start workin' on makin'
yourself at least half as sexy as me, or you'll NEVER get
me to take a second look, let alone marry you."
But what REALLY pushed Kane-chan's button was when he
flicked the photo towards her!
Kane-chan seethed, "Ohrrr!!" Like you're TOO much of a
guy to care! You WANT me to think you're not bothered if
I see you as a naked girl!! She reached down and picked
up Kuno's sword from the pavement.
Kane-chan chased after him, "Get back here, Ranma!"
Ranma was confident, and he WAS teasing. He could have
easily outraced Kane-chan. Instead he let her think she
had a shot at hitting him with the stick.
Kane-chan cried, "Okay!!? Let's SEE who's guy enough not
to care: I'll flash out here, NOW!!"
Nabiki put her camera to her eye; "THIS will go in my
files."
Ranma-kun says, "She wouldn't!" But he had to turn around
to find out.
Kane-chan jumped up into the air so she could put all of
her girlish weight into hitting him with the bokken.
"HA!!" It struck Ranma-kun in the middle of his no longer
smug face.
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Nabiki was still gloating when she brought her camera
down. But then she saw a large, thuggish man approach
from the direction opposite that Ranma-kun and Kaneda-
chan had taken. He had the look of a stereotypical
yakuza, down to his flashy suit, and carefully pumped up
perm; this one even had mirror shades to add to his
intimidation effect. When he got close enough to her, she
saw that he had what looked to be tattoos on his wrists.
Yakuza had them on all of their body, from their necks to
hands and ankles.
The taller, broader person said as if he already knew,
"Nabiki Tendou?"
Nabiki momentarily wished she had kept up with her
martial arts practice. But only momentarily. That would
have subtracted time better spent doing better things,
like making money. "I'm Nabiki Tendou," she said in her
best Cool as an Ice Queen fashion. She would NOT be
intimidated.
The gangster-type said, "Da boss would like to talk to
you." He motioned his head towards the Mercedes-Benz a
few meters up the block.
Her arms crossed, Tendou asked, "And who is YOUR boss?"
He told her, "Mr. Zyunzi Ozu."
Nabiki uncrossed her arms, startled, "What!??!" She
started heading for the expensive car. The gorilla
followed.
Sure enough, there in the back seat was a boy not too
much younger than her 17 years. The only thing that kept
him from being a stereotypical geek was his expensive
workout sweats, and that he didn't wear glasses. She was
talking to him well before she stopped beside the car,
"If I knew you had anything to do with gangsters, I
wouldn't have contacted you!"
Ozu said, "I quite understand. And I assure you I am NOT
part of any larger gangster organization."
Tendou looked over her shoulder at the looming yakuza-
wannabe, "What about him?"
Ozu said, "A bodyguard. And, as you may have noticed, he
has a "persuasive" personality. I DO have to deal with
real people once in a while."
Tendou still had her doubts. She looked at his wrists,
"What about the tattoos."
Ozu got a very pleased grin, "There're not tattoos: It's
an idea of mine! Show her, Jouji."
Tendou turned around to watch as the muscle addressed by
his first name looked around for his target. He found it
in the stele-like posts that marked this street's
official entrance to the condo's plaza. He lifted and
pointed his hand at the post Kuno had cracked and broken
pieces from just by the wind-pressure of his bokken.
Almost faster than Nabiki's eye could follow, something
flew from his hand and struck the post. Everything
cracked became shattered, falling to pavement as debris.
(And one piece knocked Kuno out again as he was sitting
up.)
Tendou cocked an eyebrow as her concession that it was a
"persuasive" demonstration.
Ozu told his man, "Jouji, show Miss Tendou your wrist."
As Jouji lifted his wrist, Tendou saw that the tattoos
weren't real; instead they were colored markings on,
"...A space-age polymer that I found a new use for. There
are bands of them around his wrist. With a mere practiced
motion of his hand, he can send one or more out at a
classified range with classified destructiveness. It
avoids the anti-gun laws of Japan quite nicely."
Tendou said, "I see: You have souped-up rubber bands. How
very elementary, as in school."
Ozu was not pleased with the characterization; "The
polymer surrounds OTHER parts of his body, as well.
THERE, it has other uses."
Jouji spoke, "It doesn't breathe. It's hot, and it chafes
me. It makes me grouchy."
Tendou was still Nabiki in attitude, "All very good for
the role of the guy you don't want to say "No" to." She
turned to the boy in the car, "But I'm STILL not sure I
want to do business with you. Are sure you're not
Yakuza?"
Ozu said, "And pay the organization a percentage? It
would cut into my profits."
THAT was something Nabiki Tendou could relate to. But how
could Little Zyunzi trust...Oh! "Jouji Ozu! Big
brother. She took one last glance at him, The larger
half-brother, at that.
She returned her steady gaze at the brains of the family,
"I don't like the idea of intimidation."
Ozu got out of the car, "Then you must tell me, sometime,
how you DO collect from customers that don't want to pay
their gambling debts. You see, I did some research on
your business, as well."
Nabiki Tendou said, "I give the best odds and easiest
payments to the addicts."
Ozu smirked, "And that is the ONLY reason you're the only
bookie in your neighborhood?" But he wasn't really
interested in HER business, "Tell me, how you are going
to make YOUR payment to me?"
Nabiki directed Ozu towards the plaza, "You mean the
second installment? There are some designer gowns on a
rack over here. They'd only go to waste, anyway. It's
going to be hard enough to get Ranma out of what she
wears now without getting her to go out to a formal
event."
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Tatewaki Kuno woke up with Nabiki Tendou kneeling beside
him, wrapping him in bandages; "...You will...address me,
as Lord Kuno..."
Nabiki said, "Sure thing, Kuno-baby. I'd have somebody
who knew what they're doing look at your wounds." She did
know there was no reason to wrap his arms and legs,
Ranma's kicks had stayed on the samurai's mid-line; she
just liked making him to look like a mummy.
Kuno mumbled, "The, the family herbalist...He can
practically work, miracles."
Nabiki looked down on her work (and there HAD been more
work to it than she was used to doing). She wondered if
the herbalist would have to take the bandages off to
treat him. Well, even if Kuno didn't show up at school
looking this bad, she had the photos of him. She
suppressed a girlish chuckle, At least I have photos
that OUGHT to embarrass any normal guy.
But Kuno-sama would have to figure out for himself how he
became completely wrapped yet was, now, in his kendo coat
and hamaka pants. He sat up with, "Wh, where is Kei
Tendou!?! Did, the cowardly bounder run!?!" He sounded as
if he didn't remember it was the great Blue Thunder that
had lost.
Nabiki thought, the blows to the head MAY have driven it
out of the idiot's short-term memory. But, then again,
Kuno-baby WAS an idiot. "That's right, Kuno. That's why
you're covered head to foot in bandages." Nabiki was
businesswoman enough not to tell a client anything he
wasn't prepared to hear.
Kuno saw the bandages for the first time. "A lucky blow.
No doubt, the churl got the worst of the engagement."
Nabiki said, "That's yet to be seen. (I wonder how many
double entendres like that there will be.)"
Kuno asked, "Did you say something, Nabiki Tendou?"
Nabiki said, "Yes. I will deliver your gift to your "Pig-
tailed Girl", Ranma Saotome."
Kuno got up to kneeling, but the action tightened the
bandages before he could take Nabiki's hand. "You would
do that!?! Even though it is unacceptable to an accepted
member of your own family!?" Meaning "Kei Tendou".
Nabiki told him, "I make no promises about the approval
the girly clothes will get from Ranma."
Kuno nodded, thinking he understood, "Of course, the
messenger is not the recipient. But at least I will know
the message of my intentions will have been delivered."
And he clenched his fist, "The intentions of that cad of
a cousin of hers, Kei Tendou, are neither proper nor
honorable! No doubt he will have Ranma's kin attempt to
poison her mind against me!"
Nabiki told him, "Yes, no doubt the male side of Ranma
will continue to resist your advances."
Kuno managed to rise to his feet; he said as a man with a
vision, "But I know that once freed from her dependent
status, Ranma Saotome will have no choice but to love
me!"
Nabiki took her time rising, "Uh, hunh. What about AKANE
Saotome? In the story I heard," from Mr. Saotome, "it
looked as if she THREW herself at you, unprovoked.
Doesn't that show her feelings for you are deeper than
Ranma's?"
Kuno's vision shifted under his head-wrap, "Ah, yes: The
Wild Haired Girl!"
Nabiki held up a hand, "Time out, Kuno-baby. The "Pig-
tailed Girl" I can understand, but "Wild Haired Girl"?
How did you come up with THAT nickname for her?"
Kuno looked at Akane's raven locks, "I use that
appellation because her long tresses go unrestrained."
Nabiki nodded, "And without any hairspray, gel or mousse.
Wild, it is. Okay, Kuno, resume play; justify your two-
timing of Akane."
Kuno-sama said, "It is not two-timing when one's heart
beats with equal force for each passion. I must go where
my pure heart directs," he held his hands apart, "but
since it can go neither right nor left, I must let THEM
decide who shall win my noble heart."
Through deeply lowered eyelids, Nabiki asked, "You expect
them to fight each other for YOU?"
The cursed Kuno raised his hands, "Of course not! I wish
to see no harm come to their beauty; spiritual or
physical." He stood as dignified as a mummy could, "The
one who becomes my prize is the one who proves herself
the MOST capable. Only a woman of truly blest can be
joined with Takewaki Kuno as one."
Nabiki still had her eyelids lowered. "I think you're
missing a connection in your logic, Kuno." As if that
were new. Then she thought of something; she felt vaguely
insulted, "Are you saying I wasn't capable enough for
you?"
Kuno told her mater-of-factly, "Not at all, Nabiki
Tendou. It was BECAUSE you are so capable that I first
dated with you. But your talents, I came to realize, were
not those best suited for a samurai."
Nabiki said, "Kuno, I have EXACTLY the talents a MODERN
samurai needs. They are the rulers of the bureaucracy
and.... Oh, never mind! I, too, have come to realize I
can put my talents to better use elsewhere.
"So, Kuno, what present shall you give Akane?"
Kuno looked back towards where he had last seen, "The
doll." Then he looked away, "No, I cannot give Akane
Saotome that when her cousin Ranma receives an expensive
wardrobe. --Hold a while, Nabiki, and I will have you
deliver a similar rack of feminine finery! At least THIS
gift should meet with Kei Tendou's approval, the cur."
Nabiki held up her hand, "But not mine! My big sister,
Kasumi, is happy dressing up her life-sized doll, Kuno-
baby. You don't want me to disappoint the woman who's
like a mother to me, now, do you? Right. So here's what I
want you to do..."
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Kasumi was back at home and back in her usual clothes.
After doing some chores habit wouldn't let her put off,
she was back upstairs in the hallway between the bedrooms
and the guest room. It was time to think Feng Shui. "Oh,
my. Well, the best place for the omamori, I suppose,
would be halfway between Akane's and Ranma's rooms." She
nodded, satisfied with the solution. "That would be a
place where neither owned anything, and that would show
no favoritism.
She smiled, "And that would be MY room! How very
convenient." Her smile slipped as she realized, "Oh, my!
Kaneda's tool chest! That's in my closet...but it IS on
Ranma's side. No, to be fair, I will have to find
something of Ranma's too keep in my room. I DO like the
idea of selecting the perfect outfits for my new sister.
She has yet no idea what a proper young lady should
wear."
She turned to gaze at the guest room. "Now, what can I
possibly get from Ranma that'll balance things out? It
SHOULD be something magic."
Nabiki had just come up the stairs, "Just think in terms
of voodoo."
Kasumi gave a small, startled cry, "Oh, my! I couldn't
use voodoo on a guest."
Nabiki let pass the implication of who Oneesan would use
voodoo on, "If you're concerned about some magical bad
luck because of some Oriental idea of imbalance, just get
a lock of Ranma's hair." She assumed that was why Kasumi
was interested in getting something of Ranma's. Nabiki
seldom tried to figure Oneesan out. They just didn't
think the same.
Kasumi asked, "Ranma's hair?"
Nabiki walked towards her, "I assume it remains connected
to Ranma. At least that's the way magic is supposed to
work, isn't it? If IT changes colors, then the magic is
still there."
Kasumi smiled, "That sounds logical!" Then she noticed
what her little sister was carrying, "Nabiki! What a
cute, little doll! Is that yours?"
Nabiki looked at the blue-eyed, blond doll in the long
pink dress, "Of course not: I am WAY beyond playing with
dolls. I talked Kuno into letting me have it. I don't
think it's worth much, but every little yen helps."
Kasumi was confused, "Kuno, the samurai boy who Kaneda
practices his martial arts skills with? What was he doing
with a dolly?"
Nabiki said, "He was going to give it to either Ranma or
Akane. I talked him out of giving it to them."
Kasumi became excited, "Oh, my! Something that belongs to
both, and neither! And it's so adorable it HAS to be full
of Yin! Nabiki, may I have it?!"
Nabiki looked from her 'big' sister to the little doll.
She sighed, then tossed her the little girl's thing,
"Sure, why not!" When Kasumi caught it, Nabiki said to
her, "But you've got to help get Ranma and Akane out of
the house. I have some things hidden that I don't want
them to see me taking up into my room." She smiled,
"They're ALSO something from Kuno-baby."
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Out the Tendou open garden door, sunset could be seen
coming.
Still angry, Ranma-kun threw his bookbag down on the
floor of the Tendou family room. He wasn't thinking about
the homework he'd neglected for four days, now: "Stupid
girl!" He plopped down on one of the cushions around the
table, "HMH!" Somebody, the oldest sister, no doubt, had
left snacks to help him keep to his work area. He grabbed
the bag of potato chips, and shoved them in his mouth.
In the middle of the fourth handful, he had spit what was
still in his mouth out. "Plah!!" He picked up the teapot
by his side, and guzzled the tea inside from the spout.
Several gulps later, he picked up the bag and threw it at
the far wall in disgust! "HER problem is she doesn't know
SHE'S supposed to be a girl! That's how STUPID she is!
Girls are supposed to be soft and giving, and not come
AFTER you! Homes where MADE for them, for crying out
loud!"
He slammed his fists down on the table, "And cute: Girls
are SUPPOSED to be cute!! There's nothing CUTE about a
girl that can become a guy!"
"But remind her, and she does things to you that no REAL
girl would do to a guy!"
He rose to his feet, "Okay, then! If she won't ACT like a
girl, I should just treat her like she WASN'T! Let's see
how much she likes being a guy, when she has to take the
lumps that go with it!"
Holding onto that thought firmly in his mind, he strode
out of the Tendou family room (and away from his
homework).
Ranma-kun almost bumped into his pop just outside in the
hallway. The Old Man smiled at his son, "I KNEW you would
finally come to your senses, boy! After all, you DON'T
want to give others the impression you have a
relationship with guy, now do you!"
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Before Genma Saotome could react fast enough, he found
himself flying. Or Genma wished he could fly: Ranma had
thrown him towards the Tendou's koi pond again.
Splash!
Ranma screamed at the dumb black-and-white creature,
"Thanks for reminding me why I CAN'T treat her as a guy!!
It's bad enough bein' stuck to a girl who wants to be the
guy! Treatin' her like one would be like admittin' I WAS
in a relationship with a guy!!"
The panda growled in frustration, too. It could do
nothing but watch its son stomp away.
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Meanwhile, Kaneda was in his kempo-gi in the family dojo.
Something was happening that hadn't happened much since
he'd started getting boobs and a figure: His dad was
working out with him.
His dad said during the sparing, "...I'm just asking you
to meet Akane, Kaneda." He had thrown a blow aimed at
Kaneda's stomach.
Kaneda was NOT happy that Akane was the reason his dad
was practicing with him, "I don't think you'll ever see
us together." Kaneda tried to knock his dad's legs out
from under him.
Soun Tendou protested, "Don't be like that, Kaneda! I'm
asking you as my son. It's your filial duty to just get
to know her! I am SURE you have things in common." He was
giving Kaneda a series of left/right karate fist jabs.
Kaneda said, "Oh! I've no doubt about that. But you know
what they say, Dad, "Opposites attract, sames repel".
There is nobody more "same" than Akane and me." Kaneda
had gone on the offense with some chops.
Soun Tendou cried in frustration, "How do you KNOW that
until you meet her!" He drove the heel his hand for his
son's forehead.
Kaneda screamed, "I KNOW!! The same way I know RANMA'S
the girl for me!!" Kaneda kicked for his dad's gut.
Soun Tendou raised his voice, "But Ranma's really a young
man!!" He grabbed Kaneda's leg.
Kaneda yanked his leg free, "And YOU'RE the expert on
who's a guy!!?" He spun around--His instep hit the man
squarely in the side of the face.
Soun Tendou went rigid and fell. Then he just lay there
like a statue that had toppled over, still in its pose.
Kaneda realized what he'd done: "Oh, no! Dad, I'm
sorry!!" But his dad wasn't in any condition to forgive
him. Kaneda called, "Kasumi!! Kasumi!! Come quick!!"
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Kaneda had lifted his dad and was carrying him into the
house when Kasumi finally heard her little brother.
"Kaneda! I don't think it's a good idea to move an
injured person."
Kaneda told her, "You're not supposed to hit a person
across the face until they wake up, either, but that's
what the Anything-Goes School teaches, too."
Kasumi gave up, "Fine! Take Father into the living room,
and I'll get a cushion and blanket for Father."
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After Kaneda had returned from the kitchen with an ice
pack, Kasumi had done all the first aid she could do for
their father. Kaneda was glad to see that his dad was at
least showing signs that he was just asleep.
The two children of Soun Tendou knelt on the mat floor
beside him, waiting until he could tell them how hurt he
was.
Kasumi turned around to confront Kaneda. She clasped his
hand between hers and brought it up. Kaneda asked,
"What?"
Kasumi gave her a steady look into his eyes. She spoke
with a seriousness Kaneda was not used to hearing from
his Oneesan. "Kaneda, I want you to listen to me as if I
were our poor, dear, departed mother, alright?"
Kaneda gasped, "Hunh!??!" This was an occasion of utmost
seriousness. Kasumi did not ask them to identify her with
mom lightly, even though that was what THEY all did.
Kasumi told her, "Listen, Kaneda, I want you to promise
me you'll never strike somebody in anger again."
Kaneda just stared at Oneesan. What could he say?!
Kasumi demanded an answer, "Kaneda?"
Kaneda answered, "Yeah, but...."
Kasumi let go of his hand, and became even more serious,
"Promise, Kaneda!" She was even frowning!
Kaneda surrendered, "Okay." He looked away. He saw the
open eyes of their father. For all his resentment of the
way Dad had treated him, he did not hate him. Kaneda did
love him as much as a son could love a father.
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Kane-chan protested, "But shopping is for girls!"
Kasumi told her, "That's why you're a girl, now. Besides
not embarrassing you, it won't bring attention to you."
Kane-chan said sourly, "Except that I'll be a girl nobody
knows."
Kasumi said, "Oh, they are a few that remember the
mystery girl of the neighborhood. If anybody asks, you
just tell them you're name is Akane Saotome."
'Akane' asked, "And if they ASK why I never introduced
myself in 16 years?"
Kasumi said, "Oh, my. Well, if you can't think of a
reason, we'll just have to ask Nabiki for one. I'm not
very good at coming up with stories."
Kane-chan said, "Never mind! She's the reason there is an
'Akane' and there ISN'T a mystery girl, any more."
As Kane-chan went out the front door, Oneesan called out,
"Remember, bring me back some ground pork and white
onions, alright?"
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It was a beautiful sunset out. But Kane-chan wasn't
enjoying it. She was back in the pink jumper and white
blouse. (And lingerie. Akane had a hard time ever
forgetting when she was wearing panties and a bra.) Is
Kasumi trying to punish me for what I did to Dad? She
shook her head. No, that's not like her. It's probably
her idea of getting me to be a girl more. She couldn't
get angry at her Oneesan, so she became grumpy, So when
is it going to be RANMA'S turn at being a girled-up
girl!?! This is NOT playing fair! When is SHE going to be
the tortoise!?!
She realized she WAS feeling out of sorts. She hoped it
was JUST everything that had happened to her the past
five days catching up with her. "But I promised Kasumi I
would try and control my emotions."
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Kane-chan's dad and the panda were sitting cross-legged
on the garden hall. They weren't enjoying the beautiful
sunset, either. Soun said, "We've got to think of
something. My son, Kaneda, stubbornly refuses to see that
your Ranma is not really a girl. But, then, so apparently
does Akane." He shook THAT thought about the girl he
wanted to be his daughter-in-law out of his head. He had
to think constructively, "If we can just get Kaneda and
Akane to think of each other, and not Ranma, our problems
would be solved."
The panda nodded, "Mmrr-hmmr." Soun did not want to know
the truth about Kaneda and Akane, but together, they
MIGHT come up with a solution. And getting Kaneda more
concerned about 'Akane' than Ranma seemed a good start.
Kasumi came down the hall with the teakettle, "Father,
here's the hot water."
As Soun poured the water on the panda, he said, "We have
to do something."
Genma nodded, "Hmm, you're right! We have to do
something."
And the something they did at the moment was sit with
their arms crossed, trying to come up with a plan of
attack.
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Kane-chan was on the bridge over the river now. Ranma had
already become associated in her head with the fence.
Girl or guy, Ranma could walk the narrow railing as
casually as if it were the ground.
{The Ranma-kun-of-memory had said, "Just remember we're
strangers. I don't want you hangin' around me at school,
you understand?
{Kaneda-of-memory had said, "The whole school's going to
know you're living with me."
{Ranma-kun had cried, "Stop sayin' things like that, even
as a girl!"
{Kaneda had continued anyway, "You know we're in no
position to choose who we're going to marry."}
Kane-chan bowed her head, Are we cursed in more than
just our bodies? I was hoping two curses together would
cancel them out. Since we both don't want to be freaks,
we could HELP each other be normal.
Ranma-kun said, "Stupid girl."
Kane-chan looked up at the real Ranma-kun on the fence
going in the opposite direction. She reacted as if he had
heard what she had only been thinking. "I'm not stupid,
and I'm not...going to get angry! " She almost told him
she wasn't a girl. That was the one advantage she had
over Ranma in a fair fight. It was Ranma's weak spot. She
fought back her pride as a man with Remember, this is
the School of ANYTHING-Goes. Winning is what's
important!
Ranma-kun hadn't been following her; had SHE come after
him? He challenged, "So: Where'd you come from?"
Kane-chan answered, "You tell me!"
Ranma answered back, "HNH!"
Kane-chan responded, "HHNH!" and continued the way she'd
been going. There was something about this guy that
really bugged her! Maybe it WAS because he was a guy,
now, not a girl. That nearly made him a different person
from the girl she had a crush on.
Right now, Ranma HAD the girl that pushed just about all
of his buttons but sexual walking away from him. "Keep
followin' me around, and maybe some of my cuteness will
rub off on you. Then I MIGHT begin to take this
engagement thing seriously."
Kane-chan leaped up onto the fence railing. It took more
effort than it took Ranma to stay balanced; but she was
NOT about to fall into the river in front of this jerk:
"Ranma, if you don't shut your mouth right now, I'll--"
She stopped herself. "Oh?!"
She lowered her fist, slowly. Letting it go to her hip,
she tried exhaling her anger. "Hnh!" She then told
herself as much as Ranma, "I promised my sister Kasumi
that I'd NEVER hit anybody in anger again."
Ranma-kun didn't buy that, "Hunh!" He jumped down to the
bridge's pavement. Now it was HIS turn to walk away.
But that wasn't victory enough for Ranma. After a few
paces, he stopped to look over his shoulder. He smirked,
"NOW you're startin' to think like a girl. You just need
to start actin' like one. Ha! Even a tomboy'd be a major
improvement. Right now you're just plain butch." By the
luck of destiny, Ranma had met very few female martial
artists. None of them were HIS idea of what a girl should
be. (And ONE in particular.)
As he walked away for real this time, Kane-chan growled,
"Did he just...Hrrrnh! I can't believe he said that! My
MOTHER was a--" She nodded, "Mm, Hm!" and jumped down off
the railing.
Kane-chan cried, "Wait a minute!!"
Ranma-kun turned, "Hn? Wha--?!"
Kane-chan was running full force at him, "Who are YOU to
be calling anybody butch!? What's the OTHER words that
go with that one, you stupid pervert!!"
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Kane-chan beat Ranma-kun up pretty badly. So badly, she
had to drag the larger, heavier teen draped over her
shoulder. She ended up aggravating the damage even more.
Dr. Tofu's clinic was only a block away, but she had to
lay the guy down when she got inside the gate. While she
was catching her breath, her eyes fell on the garden
hose.
Kane-chan said to herself, "That's right, Dr. Tofu
doesn't know that Ranma changes, too."
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The mangled Ranma-chan was laid more gently on the clinic
bed than her male counterpart would have been. The wet,
chilled girl still hurt.
Dr. Tofu studied the injured teen; "Hmmm.... This is
dreadful: The bruises! The severe dislocation of the
joints!" He looked at Kane-chan and asked, "WHO did this
to her?"
Kane-chan had remained in her girl-form BECAUSE she was
afraid of what her coach would think if he thought
Kaneda-KUN had beat up a girl. Still, the reaction of the
man Kane-chan respected most seemed harsh to her, "Well,
I, uh...."
An awkward silence followed.
It was filled by the snap, crackle, pop of Ranma-chan
trying, and failing, to sit up in bed. "Rnh! Rn!
Rernhunh!" She managed to get out, "S, s, stupid, gir,
girl did this...to me! Re, real butch, type!"
Ranma-chan suddenly fell head first out of the bed when
Kane-chan jerked the foot of the bed up: "What did I tell
you about calling the pan black!?!"
Dr. Tofu looked at Kane-chan for the moment it took for
it to sink in. "You did this, "Shinpiko"?" The family
doctor purposely used the nickname he used to protect
Kaneda's secret.
Feeling guilty, feeling the loss of respect from the good
doctor, Kane-chan dropped the bed end. She took a step
back; "Um...well, she...."
Upside down, and looking even more like a pretzel, now,
Ranma-chan looked up from the floor at Kane-chan, Hnh!
"Shinpiko": "Mystery Kid"! The only "mystery" is how she
thinks a butch-type like her can pull off the "Sweet-and-
Innocent" act!
Dr, Tofu slapped his thigh, "Ah, ha! I knew it! I knew
that damage looked kind of unique!" And he laughed long
and hard.
Kane-chan stared at his reaction. Is he, trying to make
me FEEL better?
Ranma-chan wasn't feeling better, Oh, "Ha, Ha"! Yuck it
up, why don'chya!
The man picked the small Ranma-chan up and sat her on top
of the bed, "Up you go!" He then demonstrated his
expertise, "Look at the way this joint is twisted
backwards: That's Shinpiko's touch, no doubt" To Ranma-
chan's screams, he then shoved on Ranma-chan's shoulder
while pulling her arm straight out. And the fiend
laughed!
The man then pushed the redhead's D cup chest down onto
the bed, where he proceeded to jab and grapple her,
"You're Ranma Saotome, right? I'm generally pretty good
with names. We met last Thursday." Ranma-chan was in too
much pain to answer with anything but noises. The man
said, "You're staying with the Tendous, I hear. I take it
you've MET Shinpiko." He laughed at that last one.
"Shinpiko" had to say, "Ranma knows my secret, Dr. Tofu."
The Doctor said smiling from the full Nelson he had
Ranma-chan in, "Then the Neighborhood Grapevine is true!
Not that I pay too close attention to rumors. But I WAS
afraid I'd have to tie a knot in that one, too. You know,
to protect "Shinpiko"."
"Shinpiko" wasn't ready to tell him that she had a name
now; that might lead to...OTHER questions. Dr. Tofu HAS
to know about Akane and Kei, by now. He's just too polite
to ask a question somebody's not ready to tell. "Yes,
Ranma's dad and my dad are old friends, and arranged
things. Kasumi didn't tell you any of this?"
Snapping Ranma-chan's neck, Dr. Tofu answered, "Kasumi?
Why no, I don't remember her saying anything." He laughed
half-dreamily, "I hardly remember anything Kasumi says to
me."
"Shinpiko" thought: Oh, no!! I hope I didn't make a
mistake by bringing Kasumi up while the doctor's
working!
Ranma-chan at last got free from the man's evil clutches.
She yelled in the man's face: "That HURT, you know!!"
The Doctor put his face closer, "It does? Tell me where
it hurts."
Ranma-chan felt her shoulder, her side...just about every
part of her torso but her boobs'. "Hunh? Hmmh? --Hey!!
It's okay now! I'm cured! Even the stupid, invisible
corset is gone!"
The Doctor asked, "You wanted it removed, didn't you? I
could put it back for you."
Ranma-chan held up her hands, "No!! I don't EVER want to
wear a corset again!" Then she turned a smug eye to Kane-
chan, "So much for winnin' a contest over me!"
Dr. Tofu rose to his feet, "Oh? Shinpiko, YOU'RE the
reason for the corset?"
Kane-chan told him, "I WON the contest fair and square!
The goddess Benten was the referee!" To Ranma-chan, she
told, "Just because you don't HAVE it on you any more,
DOESN'T mean I didn't win!"
Dr. Tofu thought he understood, "I see. You've been to
the Temple of the Nine Abilities, then?"
Kane-chan told him, "It was to get a blessing for the
engagement."
Ranma-chan told Kane-chan, "And there IS no blessing,
'cause I refuse to admit I was beaten!! I'll drop you in
a second, the second I'm convinced Kasumi or somebody
else is the right one for me!"
Dr. Tofu said, "Kasumi's involved in this!?!"
Kane-chan slapped her forehead. The cats were out of the
bag: Both of them!
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Nabiki held her jaw with in one hand, its elbow on the
family table, "And what is this?"
Kasumi was kneeling on the other side, her elbows on the
table, her chin on the backs of her hands, "It's boiled
potatoes, Nabiki."
Nabiki said, "I thought we were going to have MEAT and
potatoes tonight, Kasumi."
Kasumi informed her, "I thought so, too. But the person I
asked to by the meat and onions hasn't come back from the
market, yet."
Nabiki said, "That's how you got them out of the house?
You should know better than to send boy-brains to do the
shopping."
The phone rang.
Kasumi got up to answer it. On the way she said, "Mr.
Saotome, Father, it looks like it's supper time, after
all."
Her father asked his Old Comrade, "Have you thought of
anything? Anything, at all?"
Genma Saotome answered, "Not yet. What about you?"
Soun Tendou set the teakettle in his lap aside. He picked
up a pail, and threw the water. "Well!?! What about now?!
Any ideas?"
The panda reacted angrily, "Bwaorrr!!" taking a swipe at
the overly handsome man with its claws.
The man confident in his own looks chuckled, "Heh, Hey,
calm down! I just thought being a panda might help you
concentrate, that's all!" His laugh was forced.
And the panda did NOT see the joke.
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- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kane-chan bowed as she left the clinic, "Good night!" The
Doctor WAS her coach, as well as a trusted friend of the
family. He had earned her respect many times over.
Dr. Tofu said, "Good night, "Shinpiko"!"
As Ranma-chan was leaving, Dr. Tofu said to her, "Uh,
Ranma! Just a moment!" Ranma-chan stopped out on the one
step porch. Dr. Tofu said to her, "I AM a man who lives
his life by the Hippocratic Oath of "Do no harm". If it
is for the best, you are free to marry whomever will
accept your proposal." A might too hard, the good doctor
pushed Ranma-chan in the back and on his way.
As Ranma-chan stood on the walkway, still looking back at
the man, Dr. Tofu said, "I shall pay a visit the temple.
In the meantime, why don't you just try getting to know
Shinpiko. Kaneda's really a very considerate and friendly
person."
Ranma-chan told the stranger, "If you think THAT, you
don't know her as well as you--"
Suddenly Ranma-chan got a big grimace that showed all of
her teeth. She put her hands around on her lumbar region
of her back as her waist and belly became pinched, "The
damn corset is back!!!"
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Kasumi entered the family room again. Nabiki had gotten
tired of waiting for the Elders, and had started on one
of the small, boiled potatoes. "Nabiki, that was a young
man named Ozu. He asked me to give you a message. It's
just one word: "Checkmate"?"
Nabiki got a big wide grin on her face, "And just in time
for school tomorrow!" She glanced at the Two Fathers, and
said in a lowered voice, "Kasumi, do you know what
"checkmate" can mean in English?" She chuckled, "Ranma
will NEVER be our fiance."
The End of this chapter
By Ron Dow75
12: Check Mate
[Kuno is bandaged only a bit differently here.]
The battle was over, and "Lord" Kuno was laying face down
on the pavement of the plaza around the condo.
Both Kane-chan and Nabiki went over to the for once
silent samurai.
Nabiki asked, "So; how'd you do that, Ranma?"
Kane-chan thought she knew, but she didn't like making a
fool of herself. She turned over still male and pushed
him over onto his back with one hand. She was right: The
kend-gi was had the grit from Ranma-kun's slippers on it,
and the exposed skin was black-and-blue with footprints.
It looked as if the vacant-eyed teen had been trampled
from groin to hair. Kane-chan was impressed, "Wow, each
blow hit a vulnerable spot." And more.
Nabiki squatted and studied the evidence, "You mean you
kicked him? I couldn't even see your feet move."
Ranma-kun put his hands up behind his head, "Hunh! I
thought "Lord" Kuno'd put up more of a fight."
Kane-chan asked, "What do you mean, Ranma; you took a
hit, too, didn't you?"
Ranma-kun said, "It's nothing."
Kane-chan wondered just HOW superior Ranma was, "You mean
right over here?" She bent down, "Is it really okay?" and
poked the spot on his corset-narrowed waist she KNEW had
been struck by Kuno's hard wood bokken.
Ranma-kun was suddenly no longer casual: His strangled
his cry of agony as his hands reacted to it. He finally
had to put his hands over the hurt.
Kane-chan was sore, A bluff!! He almost had me believing
he WAS at master-grade! Kane-chan stood up to him, "So
it's nothing, hunh!? Say! What was it that distracted you
in the fight, any way?!"
Ranma-kun held up two photos: They were Kane-chan in
Kaneda's do-gi working out.
Kane-chan stared at them for a second. "What in the
world?" Why would they take Ranma's mind off of his
fight? And "What were you doing with these photos of
me?" What do guys USUALLY do with pictures of girls?
Suddenly she saw them as Kaneda could, if they were
pictures of "real" girls, not herself. She grabbed them
away from him, "I'm afraid to even ask about it."
Because I don't want to THINK about it!!
Ranma-kun cried, "What was I--KUNO had the photos!"
Kane-chan cried, "OH-Hrrr! NABIKI!!"
Nabiki grinned, merrily, "Can't blame a girl for trying
to make a little cash."
Kane-chan realized even as she scoffed, "Hah!" that as a
GIRL, Nabiki could make more money off of photos of her.
Ranma-kun said, turning his back to her, "Hmmh! What's
the big deal? Who'd want a bunch of boring shots like
these, any way?" And he pulled out another photo. Talking
to her over his shoulder, he showed her it was of a half-
naked girl-Ranma! "You'd better start workin' on makin'
yourself at least half as sexy as me, or you'll NEVER get
me to take a second look, let alone marry you."
But what REALLY pushed Kane-chan's button was when he
flicked the photo towards her!
Kane-chan seethed, "Ohrrr!!" Like you're TOO much of a
guy to care! You WANT me to think you're not bothered if
I see you as a naked girl!! She reached down and picked
up Kuno's sword from the pavement.
Kane-chan chased after him, "Get back here, Ranma!"
Ranma was confident, and he WAS teasing. He could have
easily outraced Kane-chan. Instead he let her think she
had a shot at hitting him with the stick.
Kane-chan cried, "Okay!!? Let's SEE who's guy enough not
to care: I'll flash out here, NOW!!"
Nabiki put her camera to her eye; "THIS will go in my
files."
Ranma-kun says, "She wouldn't!" But he had to turn around
to find out.
Kane-chan jumped up into the air so she could put all of
her girlish weight into hitting him with the bokken.
"HA!!" It struck Ranma-kun in the middle of his no longer
smug face.
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Nabiki was still gloating when she brought her camera
down. But then she saw a large, thuggish man approach
from the direction opposite that Ranma-kun and Kaneda-
chan had taken. He had the look of a stereotypical
yakuza, down to his flashy suit, and carefully pumped up
perm; this one even had mirror shades to add to his
intimidation effect. When he got close enough to her, she
saw that he had what looked to be tattoos on his wrists.
Yakuza had them on all of their body, from their necks to
hands and ankles.
The taller, broader person said as if he already knew,
"Nabiki Tendou?"
Nabiki momentarily wished she had kept up with her
martial arts practice. But only momentarily. That would
have subtracted time better spent doing better things,
like making money. "I'm Nabiki Tendou," she said in her
best Cool as an Ice Queen fashion. She would NOT be
intimidated.
The gangster-type said, "Da boss would like to talk to
you." He motioned his head towards the Mercedes-Benz a
few meters up the block.
Her arms crossed, Tendou asked, "And who is YOUR boss?"
He told her, "Mr. Zyunzi Ozu."
Nabiki uncrossed her arms, startled, "What!??!" She
started heading for the expensive car. The gorilla
followed.
Sure enough, there in the back seat was a boy not too
much younger than her 17 years. The only thing that kept
him from being a stereotypical geek was his expensive
workout sweats, and that he didn't wear glasses. She was
talking to him well before she stopped beside the car,
"If I knew you had anything to do with gangsters, I
wouldn't have contacted you!"
Ozu said, "I quite understand. And I assure you I am NOT
part of any larger gangster organization."
Tendou looked over her shoulder at the looming yakuza-
wannabe, "What about him?"
Ozu said, "A bodyguard. And, as you may have noticed, he
has a "persuasive" personality. I DO have to deal with
real people once in a while."
Tendou still had her doubts. She looked at his wrists,
"What about the tattoos."
Ozu got a very pleased grin, "There're not tattoos: It's
an idea of mine! Show her, Jouji."
Tendou turned around to watch as the muscle addressed by
his first name looked around for his target. He found it
in the stele-like posts that marked this street's
official entrance to the condo's plaza. He lifted and
pointed his hand at the post Kuno had cracked and broken
pieces from just by the wind-pressure of his bokken.
Almost faster than Nabiki's eye could follow, something
flew from his hand and struck the post. Everything
cracked became shattered, falling to pavement as debris.
(And one piece knocked Kuno out again as he was sitting
up.)
Tendou cocked an eyebrow as her concession that it was a
"persuasive" demonstration.
Ozu told his man, "Jouji, show Miss Tendou your wrist."
As Jouji lifted his wrist, Tendou saw that the tattoos
weren't real; instead they were colored markings on,
"...A space-age polymer that I found a new use for. There
are bands of them around his wrist. With a mere practiced
motion of his hand, he can send one or more out at a
classified range with classified destructiveness. It
avoids the anti-gun laws of Japan quite nicely."
Tendou said, "I see: You have souped-up rubber bands. How
very elementary, as in school."
Ozu was not pleased with the characterization; "The
polymer surrounds OTHER parts of his body, as well.
THERE, it has other uses."
Jouji spoke, "It doesn't breathe. It's hot, and it chafes
me. It makes me grouchy."
Tendou was still Nabiki in attitude, "All very good for
the role of the guy you don't want to say "No" to." She
turned to the boy in the car, "But I'm STILL not sure I
want to do business with you. Are sure you're not
Yakuza?"
Ozu said, "And pay the organization a percentage? It
would cut into my profits."
THAT was something Nabiki Tendou could relate to. But how
could Little Zyunzi trust...Oh! "Jouji Ozu! Big
brother. She took one last glance at him, The larger
half-brother, at that.
She returned her steady gaze at the brains of the family,
"I don't like the idea of intimidation."
Ozu got out of the car, "Then you must tell me, sometime,
how you DO collect from customers that don't want to pay
their gambling debts. You see, I did some research on
your business, as well."
Nabiki Tendou said, "I give the best odds and easiest
payments to the addicts."
Ozu smirked, "And that is the ONLY reason you're the only
bookie in your neighborhood?" But he wasn't really
interested in HER business, "Tell me, how you are going
to make YOUR payment to me?"
Nabiki directed Ozu towards the plaza, "You mean the
second installment? There are some designer gowns on a
rack over here. They'd only go to waste, anyway. It's
going to be hard enough to get Ranma out of what she
wears now without getting her to go out to a formal
event."
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Tatewaki Kuno woke up with Nabiki Tendou kneeling beside
him, wrapping him in bandages; "...You will...address me,
as Lord Kuno..."
Nabiki said, "Sure thing, Kuno-baby. I'd have somebody
who knew what they're doing look at your wounds." She did
know there was no reason to wrap his arms and legs,
Ranma's kicks had stayed on the samurai's mid-line; she
just liked making him to look like a mummy.
Kuno mumbled, "The, the family herbalist...He can
practically work, miracles."
Nabiki looked down on her work (and there HAD been more
work to it than she was used to doing). She wondered if
the herbalist would have to take the bandages off to
treat him. Well, even if Kuno didn't show up at school
looking this bad, she had the photos of him. She
suppressed a girlish chuckle, At least I have photos
that OUGHT to embarrass any normal guy.
But Kuno-sama would have to figure out for himself how he
became completely wrapped yet was, now, in his kendo coat
and hamaka pants. He sat up with, "Wh, where is Kei
Tendou!?! Did, the cowardly bounder run!?!" He sounded as
if he didn't remember it was the great Blue Thunder that
had lost.
Nabiki thought, the blows to the head MAY have driven it
out of the idiot's short-term memory. But, then again,
Kuno-baby WAS an idiot. "That's right, Kuno. That's why
you're covered head to foot in bandages." Nabiki was
businesswoman enough not to tell a client anything he
wasn't prepared to hear.
Kuno saw the bandages for the first time. "A lucky blow.
No doubt, the churl got the worst of the engagement."
Nabiki said, "That's yet to be seen. (I wonder how many
double entendres like that there will be.)"
Kuno asked, "Did you say something, Nabiki Tendou?"
Nabiki said, "Yes. I will deliver your gift to your "Pig-
tailed Girl", Ranma Saotome."
Kuno got up to kneeling, but the action tightened the
bandages before he could take Nabiki's hand. "You would
do that!?! Even though it is unacceptable to an accepted
member of your own family!?" Meaning "Kei Tendou".
Nabiki told him, "I make no promises about the approval
the girly clothes will get from Ranma."
Kuno nodded, thinking he understood, "Of course, the
messenger is not the recipient. But at least I will know
the message of my intentions will have been delivered."
And he clenched his fist, "The intentions of that cad of
a cousin of hers, Kei Tendou, are neither proper nor
honorable! No doubt he will have Ranma's kin attempt to
poison her mind against me!"
Nabiki told him, "Yes, no doubt the male side of Ranma
will continue to resist your advances."
Kuno managed to rise to his feet; he said as a man with a
vision, "But I know that once freed from her dependent
status, Ranma Saotome will have no choice but to love
me!"
Nabiki took her time rising, "Uh, hunh. What about AKANE
Saotome? In the story I heard," from Mr. Saotome, "it
looked as if she THREW herself at you, unprovoked.
Doesn't that show her feelings for you are deeper than
Ranma's?"
Kuno's vision shifted under his head-wrap, "Ah, yes: The
Wild Haired Girl!"
Nabiki held up a hand, "Time out, Kuno-baby. The "Pig-
tailed Girl" I can understand, but "Wild Haired Girl"?
How did you come up with THAT nickname for her?"
Kuno looked at Akane's raven locks, "I use that
appellation because her long tresses go unrestrained."
Nabiki nodded, "And without any hairspray, gel or mousse.
Wild, it is. Okay, Kuno, resume play; justify your two-
timing of Akane."
Kuno-sama said, "It is not two-timing when one's heart
beats with equal force for each passion. I must go where
my pure heart directs," he held his hands apart, "but
since it can go neither right nor left, I must let THEM
decide who shall win my noble heart."
Through deeply lowered eyelids, Nabiki asked, "You expect
them to fight each other for YOU?"
The cursed Kuno raised his hands, "Of course not! I wish
to see no harm come to their beauty; spiritual or
physical." He stood as dignified as a mummy could, "The
one who becomes my prize is the one who proves herself
the MOST capable. Only a woman of truly blest can be
joined with Takewaki Kuno as one."
Nabiki still had her eyelids lowered. "I think you're
missing a connection in your logic, Kuno." As if that
were new. Then she thought of something; she felt vaguely
insulted, "Are you saying I wasn't capable enough for
you?"
Kuno told her mater-of-factly, "Not at all, Nabiki
Tendou. It was BECAUSE you are so capable that I first
dated with you. But your talents, I came to realize, were
not those best suited for a samurai."
Nabiki said, "Kuno, I have EXACTLY the talents a MODERN
samurai needs. They are the rulers of the bureaucracy
and.... Oh, never mind! I, too, have come to realize I
can put my talents to better use elsewhere.
"So, Kuno, what present shall you give Akane?"
Kuno looked back towards where he had last seen, "The
doll." Then he looked away, "No, I cannot give Akane
Saotome that when her cousin Ranma receives an expensive
wardrobe. --Hold a while, Nabiki, and I will have you
deliver a similar rack of feminine finery! At least THIS
gift should meet with Kei Tendou's approval, the cur."
Nabiki held up her hand, "But not mine! My big sister,
Kasumi, is happy dressing up her life-sized doll, Kuno-
baby. You don't want me to disappoint the woman who's
like a mother to me, now, do you? Right. So here's what I
want you to do..."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kasumi was back at home and back in her usual clothes.
After doing some chores habit wouldn't let her put off,
she was back upstairs in the hallway between the bedrooms
and the guest room. It was time to think Feng Shui. "Oh,
my. Well, the best place for the omamori, I suppose,
would be halfway between Akane's and Ranma's rooms." She
nodded, satisfied with the solution. "That would be a
place where neither owned anything, and that would show
no favoritism.
She smiled, "And that would be MY room! How very
convenient." Her smile slipped as she realized, "Oh, my!
Kaneda's tool chest! That's in my closet...but it IS on
Ranma's side. No, to be fair, I will have to find
something of Ranma's too keep in my room. I DO like the
idea of selecting the perfect outfits for my new sister.
She has yet no idea what a proper young lady should
wear."
She turned to gaze at the guest room. "Now, what can I
possibly get from Ranma that'll balance things out? It
SHOULD be something magic."
Nabiki had just come up the stairs, "Just think in terms
of voodoo."
Kasumi gave a small, startled cry, "Oh, my! I couldn't
use voodoo on a guest."
Nabiki let pass the implication of who Oneesan would use
voodoo on, "If you're concerned about some magical bad
luck because of some Oriental idea of imbalance, just get
a lock of Ranma's hair." She assumed that was why Kasumi
was interested in getting something of Ranma's. Nabiki
seldom tried to figure Oneesan out. They just didn't
think the same.
Kasumi asked, "Ranma's hair?"
Nabiki walked towards her, "I assume it remains connected
to Ranma. At least that's the way magic is supposed to
work, isn't it? If IT changes colors, then the magic is
still there."
Kasumi smiled, "That sounds logical!" Then she noticed
what her little sister was carrying, "Nabiki! What a
cute, little doll! Is that yours?"
Nabiki looked at the blue-eyed, blond doll in the long
pink dress, "Of course not: I am WAY beyond playing with
dolls. I talked Kuno into letting me have it. I don't
think it's worth much, but every little yen helps."
Kasumi was confused, "Kuno, the samurai boy who Kaneda
practices his martial arts skills with? What was he doing
with a dolly?"
Nabiki said, "He was going to give it to either Ranma or
Akane. I talked him out of giving it to them."
Kasumi became excited, "Oh, my! Something that belongs to
both, and neither! And it's so adorable it HAS to be full
of Yin! Nabiki, may I have it?!"
Nabiki looked from her 'big' sister to the little doll.
She sighed, then tossed her the little girl's thing,
"Sure, why not!" When Kasumi caught it, Nabiki said to
her, "But you've got to help get Ranma and Akane out of
the house. I have some things hidden that I don't want
them to see me taking up into my room." She smiled,
"They're ALSO something from Kuno-baby."
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Out the Tendou open garden door, sunset could be seen
coming.
Still angry, Ranma-kun threw his bookbag down on the
floor of the Tendou family room. He wasn't thinking about
the homework he'd neglected for four days, now: "Stupid
girl!" He plopped down on one of the cushions around the
table, "HMH!" Somebody, the oldest sister, no doubt, had
left snacks to help him keep to his work area. He grabbed
the bag of potato chips, and shoved them in his mouth.
In the middle of the fourth handful, he had spit what was
still in his mouth out. "Plah!!" He picked up the teapot
by his side, and guzzled the tea inside from the spout.
Several gulps later, he picked up the bag and threw it at
the far wall in disgust! "HER problem is she doesn't know
SHE'S supposed to be a girl! That's how STUPID she is!
Girls are supposed to be soft and giving, and not come
AFTER you! Homes where MADE for them, for crying out
loud!"
He slammed his fists down on the table, "And cute: Girls
are SUPPOSED to be cute!! There's nothing CUTE about a
girl that can become a guy!"
"But remind her, and she does things to you that no REAL
girl would do to a guy!"
He rose to his feet, "Okay, then! If she won't ACT like a
girl, I should just treat her like she WASN'T! Let's see
how much she likes being a guy, when she has to take the
lumps that go with it!"
Holding onto that thought firmly in his mind, he strode
out of the Tendou family room (and away from his
homework).
Ranma-kun almost bumped into his pop just outside in the
hallway. The Old Man smiled at his son, "I KNEW you would
finally come to your senses, boy! After all, you DON'T
want to give others the impression you have a
relationship with guy, now do you!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Before Genma Saotome could react fast enough, he found
himself flying. Or Genma wished he could fly: Ranma had
thrown him towards the Tendou's koi pond again.
Splash!
Ranma screamed at the dumb black-and-white creature,
"Thanks for reminding me why I CAN'T treat her as a guy!!
It's bad enough bein' stuck to a girl who wants to be the
guy! Treatin' her like one would be like admittin' I WAS
in a relationship with a guy!!"
The panda growled in frustration, too. It could do
nothing but watch its son stomp away.
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Meanwhile, Kaneda was in his kempo-gi in the family dojo.
Something was happening that hadn't happened much since
he'd started getting boobs and a figure: His dad was
working out with him.
His dad said during the sparing, "...I'm just asking you
to meet Akane, Kaneda." He had thrown a blow aimed at
Kaneda's stomach.
Kaneda was NOT happy that Akane was the reason his dad
was practicing with him, "I don't think you'll ever see
us together." Kaneda tried to knock his dad's legs out
from under him.
Soun Tendou protested, "Don't be like that, Kaneda! I'm
asking you as my son. It's your filial duty to just get
to know her! I am SURE you have things in common." He was
giving Kaneda a series of left/right karate fist jabs.
Kaneda said, "Oh! I've no doubt about that. But you know
what they say, Dad, "Opposites attract, sames repel".
There is nobody more "same" than Akane and me." Kaneda
had gone on the offense with some chops.
Soun Tendou cried in frustration, "How do you KNOW that
until you meet her!" He drove the heel his hand for his
son's forehead.
Kaneda screamed, "I KNOW!! The same way I know RANMA'S
the girl for me!!" Kaneda kicked for his dad's gut.
Soun Tendou raised his voice, "But Ranma's really a young
man!!" He grabbed Kaneda's leg.
Kaneda yanked his leg free, "And YOU'RE the expert on
who's a guy!!?" He spun around--His instep hit the man
squarely in the side of the face.
Soun Tendou went rigid and fell. Then he just lay there
like a statue that had toppled over, still in its pose.
Kaneda realized what he'd done: "Oh, no! Dad, I'm
sorry!!" But his dad wasn't in any condition to forgive
him. Kaneda called, "Kasumi!! Kasumi!! Come quick!!"
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Kaneda had lifted his dad and was carrying him into the
house when Kasumi finally heard her little brother.
"Kaneda! I don't think it's a good idea to move an
injured person."
Kaneda told her, "You're not supposed to hit a person
across the face until they wake up, either, but that's
what the Anything-Goes School teaches, too."
Kasumi gave up, "Fine! Take Father into the living room,
and I'll get a cushion and blanket for Father."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
After Kaneda had returned from the kitchen with an ice
pack, Kasumi had done all the first aid she could do for
their father. Kaneda was glad to see that his dad was at
least showing signs that he was just asleep.
The two children of Soun Tendou knelt on the mat floor
beside him, waiting until he could tell them how hurt he
was.
Kasumi turned around to confront Kaneda. She clasped his
hand between hers and brought it up. Kaneda asked,
"What?"
Kasumi gave her a steady look into his eyes. She spoke
with a seriousness Kaneda was not used to hearing from
his Oneesan. "Kaneda, I want you to listen to me as if I
were our poor, dear, departed mother, alright?"
Kaneda gasped, "Hunh!??!" This was an occasion of utmost
seriousness. Kasumi did not ask them to identify her with
mom lightly, even though that was what THEY all did.
Kasumi told her, "Listen, Kaneda, I want you to promise
me you'll never strike somebody in anger again."
Kaneda just stared at Oneesan. What could he say?!
Kasumi demanded an answer, "Kaneda?"
Kaneda answered, "Yeah, but...."
Kasumi let go of his hand, and became even more serious,
"Promise, Kaneda!" She was even frowning!
Kaneda surrendered, "Okay." He looked away. He saw the
open eyes of their father. For all his resentment of the
way Dad had treated him, he did not hate him. Kaneda did
love him as much as a son could love a father.
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Kane-chan protested, "But shopping is for girls!"
Kasumi told her, "That's why you're a girl, now. Besides
not embarrassing you, it won't bring attention to you."
Kane-chan said sourly, "Except that I'll be a girl nobody
knows."
Kasumi said, "Oh, they are a few that remember the
mystery girl of the neighborhood. If anybody asks, you
just tell them you're name is Akane Saotome."
'Akane' asked, "And if they ASK why I never introduced
myself in 16 years?"
Kasumi said, "Oh, my. Well, if you can't think of a
reason, we'll just have to ask Nabiki for one. I'm not
very good at coming up with stories."
Kane-chan said, "Never mind! She's the reason there is an
'Akane' and there ISN'T a mystery girl, any more."
As Kane-chan went out the front door, Oneesan called out,
"Remember, bring me back some ground pork and white
onions, alright?"
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It was a beautiful sunset out. But Kane-chan wasn't
enjoying it. She was back in the pink jumper and white
blouse. (And lingerie. Akane had a hard time ever
forgetting when she was wearing panties and a bra.) Is
Kasumi trying to punish me for what I did to Dad? She
shook her head. No, that's not like her. It's probably
her idea of getting me to be a girl more. She couldn't
get angry at her Oneesan, so she became grumpy, So when
is it going to be RANMA'S turn at being a girled-up
girl!?! This is NOT playing fair! When is SHE going to be
the tortoise!?!
She realized she WAS feeling out of sorts. She hoped it
was JUST everything that had happened to her the past
five days catching up with her. "But I promised Kasumi I
would try and control my emotions."
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Kane-chan's dad and the panda were sitting cross-legged
on the garden hall. They weren't enjoying the beautiful
sunset, either. Soun said, "We've got to think of
something. My son, Kaneda, stubbornly refuses to see that
your Ranma is not really a girl. But, then, so apparently
does Akane." He shook THAT thought about the girl he
wanted to be his daughter-in-law out of his head. He had
to think constructively, "If we can just get Kaneda and
Akane to think of each other, and not Ranma, our problems
would be solved."
The panda nodded, "Mmrr-hmmr." Soun did not want to know
the truth about Kaneda and Akane, but together, they
MIGHT come up with a solution. And getting Kaneda more
concerned about 'Akane' than Ranma seemed a good start.
Kasumi came down the hall with the teakettle, "Father,
here's the hot water."
As Soun poured the water on the panda, he said, "We have
to do something."
Genma nodded, "Hmm, you're right! We have to do
something."
And the something they did at the moment was sit with
their arms crossed, trying to come up with a plan of
attack.
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Kane-chan was on the bridge over the river now. Ranma had
already become associated in her head with the fence.
Girl or guy, Ranma could walk the narrow railing as
casually as if it were the ground.
{The Ranma-kun-of-memory had said, "Just remember we're
strangers. I don't want you hangin' around me at school,
you understand?
{Kaneda-of-memory had said, "The whole school's going to
know you're living with me."
{Ranma-kun had cried, "Stop sayin' things like that, even
as a girl!"
{Kaneda had continued anyway, "You know we're in no
position to choose who we're going to marry."}
Kane-chan bowed her head, Are we cursed in more than
just our bodies? I was hoping two curses together would
cancel them out. Since we both don't want to be freaks,
we could HELP each other be normal.
Ranma-kun said, "Stupid girl."
Kane-chan looked up at the real Ranma-kun on the fence
going in the opposite direction. She reacted as if he had
heard what she had only been thinking. "I'm not stupid,
and I'm not...going to get angry! " She almost told him
she wasn't a girl. That was the one advantage she had
over Ranma in a fair fight. It was Ranma's weak spot. She
fought back her pride as a man with Remember, this is
the School of ANYTHING-Goes. Winning is what's
important!
Ranma-kun hadn't been following her; had SHE come after
him? He challenged, "So: Where'd you come from?"
Kane-chan answered, "You tell me!"
Ranma answered back, "HNH!"
Kane-chan responded, "HHNH!" and continued the way she'd
been going. There was something about this guy that
really bugged her! Maybe it WAS because he was a guy,
now, not a girl. That nearly made him a different person
from the girl she had a crush on.
Right now, Ranma HAD the girl that pushed just about all
of his buttons but sexual walking away from him. "Keep
followin' me around, and maybe some of my cuteness will
rub off on you. Then I MIGHT begin to take this
engagement thing seriously."
Kane-chan leaped up onto the fence railing. It took more
effort than it took Ranma to stay balanced; but she was
NOT about to fall into the river in front of this jerk:
"Ranma, if you don't shut your mouth right now, I'll--"
She stopped herself. "Oh?!"
She lowered her fist, slowly. Letting it go to her hip,
she tried exhaling her anger. "Hnh!" She then told
herself as much as Ranma, "I promised my sister Kasumi
that I'd NEVER hit anybody in anger again."
Ranma-kun didn't buy that, "Hunh!" He jumped down to the
bridge's pavement. Now it was HIS turn to walk away.
But that wasn't victory enough for Ranma. After a few
paces, he stopped to look over his shoulder. He smirked,
"NOW you're startin' to think like a girl. You just need
to start actin' like one. Ha! Even a tomboy'd be a major
improvement. Right now you're just plain butch." By the
luck of destiny, Ranma had met very few female martial
artists. None of them were HIS idea of what a girl should
be. (And ONE in particular.)
As he walked away for real this time, Kane-chan growled,
"Did he just...Hrrrnh! I can't believe he said that! My
MOTHER was a--" She nodded, "Mm, Hm!" and jumped down off
the railing.
Kane-chan cried, "Wait a minute!!"
Ranma-kun turned, "Hn? Wha--?!"
Kane-chan was running full force at him, "Who are YOU to
be calling anybody butch!? What's the OTHER words that
go with that one, you stupid pervert!!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kane-chan beat Ranma-kun up pretty badly. So badly, she
had to drag the larger, heavier teen draped over her
shoulder. She ended up aggravating the damage even more.
Dr. Tofu's clinic was only a block away, but she had to
lay the guy down when she got inside the gate. While she
was catching her breath, her eyes fell on the garden
hose.
Kane-chan said to herself, "That's right, Dr. Tofu
doesn't know that Ranma changes, too."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The mangled Ranma-chan was laid more gently on the clinic
bed than her male counterpart would have been. The wet,
chilled girl still hurt.
Dr. Tofu studied the injured teen; "Hmmm.... This is
dreadful: The bruises! The severe dislocation of the
joints!" He looked at Kane-chan and asked, "WHO did this
to her?"
Kane-chan had remained in her girl-form BECAUSE she was
afraid of what her coach would think if he thought
Kaneda-KUN had beat up a girl. Still, the reaction of the
man Kane-chan respected most seemed harsh to her, "Well,
I, uh...."
An awkward silence followed.
It was filled by the snap, crackle, pop of Ranma-chan
trying, and failing, to sit up in bed. "Rnh! Rn!
Rernhunh!" She managed to get out, "S, s, stupid, gir,
girl did this...to me! Re, real butch, type!"
Ranma-chan suddenly fell head first out of the bed when
Kane-chan jerked the foot of the bed up: "What did I tell
you about calling the pan black!?!"
Dr. Tofu looked at Kane-chan for the moment it took for
it to sink in. "You did this, "Shinpiko"?" The family
doctor purposely used the nickname he used to protect
Kaneda's secret.
Feeling guilty, feeling the loss of respect from the good
doctor, Kane-chan dropped the bed end. She took a step
back; "Um...well, she...."
Upside down, and looking even more like a pretzel, now,
Ranma-chan looked up from the floor at Kane-chan, Hnh!
"Shinpiko": "Mystery Kid"! The only "mystery" is how she
thinks a butch-type like her can pull off the "Sweet-and-
Innocent" act!
Dr, Tofu slapped his thigh, "Ah, ha! I knew it! I knew
that damage looked kind of unique!" And he laughed long
and hard.
Kane-chan stared at his reaction. Is he, trying to make
me FEEL better?
Ranma-chan wasn't feeling better, Oh, "Ha, Ha"! Yuck it
up, why don'chya!
The man picked the small Ranma-chan up and sat her on top
of the bed, "Up you go!" He then demonstrated his
expertise, "Look at the way this joint is twisted
backwards: That's Shinpiko's touch, no doubt" To Ranma-
chan's screams, he then shoved on Ranma-chan's shoulder
while pulling her arm straight out. And the fiend
laughed!
The man then pushed the redhead's D cup chest down onto
the bed, where he proceeded to jab and grapple her,
"You're Ranma Saotome, right? I'm generally pretty good
with names. We met last Thursday." Ranma-chan was in too
much pain to answer with anything but noises. The man
said, "You're staying with the Tendous, I hear. I take it
you've MET Shinpiko." He laughed at that last one.
"Shinpiko" had to say, "Ranma knows my secret, Dr. Tofu."
The Doctor said smiling from the full Nelson he had
Ranma-chan in, "Then the Neighborhood Grapevine is true!
Not that I pay too close attention to rumors. But I WAS
afraid I'd have to tie a knot in that one, too. You know,
to protect "Shinpiko"."
"Shinpiko" wasn't ready to tell him that she had a name
now; that might lead to...OTHER questions. Dr. Tofu HAS
to know about Akane and Kei, by now. He's just too polite
to ask a question somebody's not ready to tell. "Yes,
Ranma's dad and my dad are old friends, and arranged
things. Kasumi didn't tell you any of this?"
Snapping Ranma-chan's neck, Dr. Tofu answered, "Kasumi?
Why no, I don't remember her saying anything." He laughed
half-dreamily, "I hardly remember anything Kasumi says to
me."
"Shinpiko" thought: Oh, no!! I hope I didn't make a
mistake by bringing Kasumi up while the doctor's
working!
Ranma-chan at last got free from the man's evil clutches.
She yelled in the man's face: "That HURT, you know!!"
The Doctor put his face closer, "It does? Tell me where
it hurts."
Ranma-chan felt her shoulder, her side...just about every
part of her torso but her boobs'. "Hunh? Hmmh? --Hey!!
It's okay now! I'm cured! Even the stupid, invisible
corset is gone!"
The Doctor asked, "You wanted it removed, didn't you? I
could put it back for you."
Ranma-chan held up her hands, "No!! I don't EVER want to
wear a corset again!" Then she turned a smug eye to Kane-
chan, "So much for winnin' a contest over me!"
Dr. Tofu rose to his feet, "Oh? Shinpiko, YOU'RE the
reason for the corset?"
Kane-chan told him, "I WON the contest fair and square!
The goddess Benten was the referee!" To Ranma-chan, she
told, "Just because you don't HAVE it on you any more,
DOESN'T mean I didn't win!"
Dr. Tofu thought he understood, "I see. You've been to
the Temple of the Nine Abilities, then?"
Kane-chan told him, "It was to get a blessing for the
engagement."
Ranma-chan told Kane-chan, "And there IS no blessing,
'cause I refuse to admit I was beaten!! I'll drop you in
a second, the second I'm convinced Kasumi or somebody
else is the right one for me!"
Dr. Tofu said, "Kasumi's involved in this!?!"
Kane-chan slapped her forehead. The cats were out of the
bag: Both of them!
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Nabiki held her jaw with in one hand, its elbow on the
family table, "And what is this?"
Kasumi was kneeling on the other side, her elbows on the
table, her chin on the backs of her hands, "It's boiled
potatoes, Nabiki."
Nabiki said, "I thought we were going to have MEAT and
potatoes tonight, Kasumi."
Kasumi informed her, "I thought so, too. But the person I
asked to by the meat and onions hasn't come back from the
market, yet."
Nabiki said, "That's how you got them out of the house?
You should know better than to send boy-brains to do the
shopping."
The phone rang.
Kasumi got up to answer it. On the way she said, "Mr.
Saotome, Father, it looks like it's supper time, after
all."
Her father asked his Old Comrade, "Have you thought of
anything? Anything, at all?"
Genma Saotome answered, "Not yet. What about you?"
Soun Tendou set the teakettle in his lap aside. He picked
up a pail, and threw the water. "Well!?! What about now?!
Any ideas?"
The panda reacted angrily, "Bwaorrr!!" taking a swipe at
the overly handsome man with its claws.
The man confident in his own looks chuckled, "Heh, Hey,
calm down! I just thought being a panda might help you
concentrate, that's all!" His laugh was forced.
And the panda did NOT see the joke.
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Kane-chan bowed as she left the clinic, "Good night!" The
Doctor WAS her coach, as well as a trusted friend of the
family. He had earned her respect many times over.
Dr. Tofu said, "Good night, "Shinpiko"!"
As Ranma-chan was leaving, Dr. Tofu said to her, "Uh,
Ranma! Just a moment!" Ranma-chan stopped out on the one
step porch. Dr. Tofu said to her, "I AM a man who lives
his life by the Hippocratic Oath of "Do no harm". If it
is for the best, you are free to marry whomever will
accept your proposal." A might too hard, the good doctor
pushed Ranma-chan in the back and on his way.
As Ranma-chan stood on the walkway, still looking back at
the man, Dr. Tofu said, "I shall pay a visit the temple.
In the meantime, why don't you just try getting to know
Shinpiko. Kaneda's really a very considerate and friendly
person."
Ranma-chan told the stranger, "If you think THAT, you
don't know her as well as you--"
Suddenly Ranma-chan got a big grimace that showed all of
her teeth. She put her hands around on her lumbar region
of her back as her waist and belly became pinched, "The
damn corset is back!!!"
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Kasumi entered the family room again. Nabiki had gotten
tired of waiting for the Elders, and had started on one
of the small, boiled potatoes. "Nabiki, that was a young
man named Ozu. He asked me to give you a message. It's
just one word: "Checkmate"?"
Nabiki got a big wide grin on her face, "And just in time
for school tomorrow!" She glanced at the Two Fathers, and
said in a lowered voice, "Kasumi, do you know what
"checkmate" can mean in English?" She chuckled, "Ranma
will NEVER be our fiance."
The End of this chapter