Ranma & Kaneda
By Ron Dow75
13: Tomobiki the 13th
In the six-day Buddhist week Tomobiki can be a very bad
luck day. The only thing that could have made THIS day
any unluckier was if it were FRIDAY the 13th on the
International calendar.
Morning, Monday the 13th. Ranma-kun's only alarm clock
was internal. It was set to get him up before dawn to
begin the day with a round of sparring with his old man.
Waking was the time to remember dreams:
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Sunday evening. Ranma-chan slowly came to. It took a
while for her to be aware what was happening. Ranma had a
keenly trained sense of body, but it seemed dull when he
was a girl. Pop told him it was all in his head. Change
the gender of the pronouns, and that was something the
Old Man COULD be right about. If a martial artist didn't
live or die by their body--a point Pop had made sure she
got by constantly challenging her to a fight at every
turn on their long trip back from China--Ranma would've
put even more distance between him and it than she had.
It felt like her legs and arms were wrapped around
something. She was reminded of the time she had spent the
night up a power pole in one of Pop's stupid training
exercises.
--Cats!! The word clawed at her throat. Had the stupid
Old Man had sprinkled fish oil all around a greased pole
again!?!!
Ranma-chan tried to get awake and get away: "Aaar!!" But
found that the pole was soft and warm. And the rungs were
hands under her thighs.
--But her hands were tied! And she was wearing a corset!!
Why hadn't she felt any sense of danger!?!
Kane-chan said, "Don't SQUEEZE me like that! If you want
me to put you down, I will!"
Ranma-chan, aware at last, saw that Kane-chan was giving
her a piggyback ride. Kane-chan's hands and hips were
supporting her thighs. Kane-chan had used Ranma-chan's
own belt to keep her hands around upper chest. She also
saw that they were headed back towards the Tendou house.
The streetlights were on, but it didn't look too much
later than....
Ranma-chan asked, "Wha, what happened? How'd I get here?"
Kane-chan said, "You tell me. My back was turned when you
attacked Dr. Tofu."
Ranma-chan cried, "That's right!" as she sat up straight.
Kane-chan let her get off of her.
Ranma-chan immediately fell on her butt. "My muscles are
TOO relaxed! They won't give me any support!"
Turning around, Kane-chan put her hands on her hips and
sighed, "I guess I WILL have to carry you the rest of the
way." The girl who wanted Ranma to be her girlfriend
didn't seem too happy about the idea.
Ranma-chan asked herself, "What did that acupressurist DO
to me!?! How can I prepare against him, if--" Suddenly
she had a flash of memory. The smiling man in the glasses
had told her to relax; he meant her no harm. Ranma-chan
wondered, "A hypnotic shiatsu technique??"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was Monday, a school day. Ranma-kun got off of his
futon/mattress wondering if he was still under a post-
hypnotic spell. He didn't really resent the man who'd put
the corset back on him. "Since he can take it off of me,
again, I guess I gotta play his game...for now."
After doing a few stretching exercises, Ranma-kun stopped
to pull up his undershirt. The invisible corset gave even
his male body a definite hourglass figure. And the
exercises only reminded him more that it was there.
Behind and below, his pop asked, "What happened to you,
boy!?!"
Snarling, Ranma-kun spun around and attacked the man
still in bed. It felt GOOD not to be relaxed.
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They had carried their fight into the Tendou garden. For
once, Pop kept his mouth shut. He wasn't interested in
creating a battle simulation today. Practice was
different from battle simulation. Practice was to get the
get the body to do what it was SUPPOSED to do, time after
time. It was not the time for emotions. Emotions were for
when you wanted to put serious power into your battle
aura. Even when Ranma was his most pissed off at his Old
Man, he couldn't put all that much into it. Pop had
conditioned Ranma to limit the amount he could use
against him. Practicing also tamped down his emotions.
Sparring with the Old Man was such a familiar routine
when in his own body Ranma-kun's feelings actually eased.
...Or maybe it WAS the post-hypnotic spell.
The eldest daughter came to the open doors of the garden
hall, "Mr. Saotome! Ranma! Breakfast!"
Mr. Saotome stopped to called back, "Thank you, Kasumi!
It smells delici--"
They had forgotten they were in mid-air. They had been
using each other to stay aloft.
Splash! They landed in the koi pond.
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While the panda was on all fours shaking the water from
its fur, Ranma-chan took off her pants. She squeezed the
pond water from them as best she could. She kept her
underpants on, and squeezed them where they were loose.
She was glad her body sense was dull. She didn't want to
feel the curves and extra-padding. Her well-trained mind
used the technique she used to fight-while-injured to put
even more awareness between her and the body. She
wouldn't give herself a chance to feel effeminate. And
she didn't. But it also left herself more open to her
subconscious. And her subconscious equated this girl-body
with what it knew of girl bodies. In the irony of the
human psychology, by denying her girl half, Ranma had
more of a feminine manner than when she had fought
against it.
She put her pants back on, and started taking her shirt
off.
While the panda went to sit at the family table, Ranma
sat down cross-legged in the garden hall. She took off
her undershirt and squeezed its water onto the grass.
There was something about a wet shirt....
That was when Nabiki Tendou came into the family room
behind Ranma-chan, "You needn't bother putting that back
on. I brought you your school uniform."
When the panda saw the sky blue jumper and white blouse,
it spewed out the tea it was drinking.
Ranma-chan remained where she was sitting, unaware of
which uniform was being offered; "I'm not wearin' any
uniform. I have to wear Chinese clothes."
Nabiki said, "Why? Did you take some," she indulged
herself in a little melodrama: " "vow to remain in
Chinese clothes as long as you have a Chinese curse"?"
Ranma-chan said, "Something like that."
Mr. Tendou came down the hall from his room. He was still
brushing his teeth, " ' Morning, Ranma. Morning workout,
hunh?"
Ranma-chan smiled up at him, "Good morning, Mr. Tendou!"
Kaneda, in his school uniform, said, "Good morning,
Ranma!"
Ranma-chan twisted herself around to say, "Good morning,
Kane--" Why was she grinning nice and sweetly at him!!?!
Nabiki looked at the effect Ranma-chan's size Ds were
having on the two menfolk. They stood there like statues,
just staring. She got in the space between the two guys,
"Ranma, you have GOT to learn feminine modesty." She then
draped the Furinkan girls' uniform over Ranma's front.
Kaneda cried, "Oh-oh!.... Did you HAVE to, Nabiki?!"
It took a moment for it to register on Ranma what was
being used to cover her. "A DRESS!!?!" It was almost a
dress. Kasume had carefully and artfully used safety pins
had been used to attach the blouse to the jumper. They
were hidden out of sight.
Nabiki corrected her, "A uniform. Your uniform."
Ranma-chan snatched off of her, and in one motion had
pivoted around onto one knee. She THREW it at the smart
aleck, "That's NOT funny!!"
Nabiki caught it. Smiling smugly she said, "This is no
joke. As far as the school is concerned, YOU'RE a girl."
Ranma-chan told her, "I don't CARE what others think!"
Nabiki was still smiling as she placed the dress over her
arm, "Oh, you don't, do you?" She turned for the family
room, "Kaneda, it is up to you to say the right thing at
the right time." Then she said cryptically, "It will be
up to others to see that the right thing to occurs."
Kaneda said, "Hunh?" He was a little distracted by the
sight of Ranma-chan's again bare boobs.
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At breakfast, Kaneda was still distracted THINKING about
Ranma-chan's naked boobs.
Ranma-kun was fully dressed in his red shirt and blue
pants now. He poured his bowl of miso over his bowl of
rice. He looked at the guy sitting next to him, "If
you're gonna stare into space like that, I guess you
won't mind me havin' that dumpling?" Ranma was
determined to be ignorant; it helped that he was not a
girl then.
Kaneda looked over at Ranma...and saw a guy's chest. He
frowned, "No! I wanted that!" Girls traditionally were
supposed to defer to males; it helped that he was not a
girl then.
Ranma-kun quirked a smile, "Ha! Too bad!" as she picked
up her chopsticks.
Kaneda picked up the dish.
Ranma-kun cried, "Hey!"
Kaneda brought it around to the side away from the guy
that should be a girl, "Ha! You have to learn to think
about somebody besides yourself!"
Ranma-kun told her, "HA! That's a good one! You're one to
talk..."
While they fought, the panda reached over with its
chopsticks and plucked the dumpling away for itself.
Drinking from the bowl, Nabiki said to Kasumi, "The
soup's a little bland today, don't you think?"
Doing likewise, Kasumi said, "Do you think so?" She then
noticed on the other side of her, "Father, isn't it time
you took that toothbrush out?" Except that her father's
stare wasn't blank, it was as if he was in one of his
trances again. "I wonder if I pour a glass of water on
Father, he'll return to us?" Ranma wasn't the only one
who preferred ignore the obvious.
"Oh, that's right!" Kasumi now talked across the table,
"Kaneda? Do me a favor and drop by Doctor Tofu's clinic
on your way home from school."
Ranma-kun almost choked when he heard the Tofu's name.
Kaneda stopped eating, too, as he seriously studied
Ranma's reactions.
Kasume explained, "I borrowed this book." She picked it
from beside her cushion. "Will you return it to Doctor
Tofu for me?"
Ranma-kun said, "Sure, why don'tcha do it?"
Kaneda looked at him intently, "Why? What do you have
planned?"
Ranma-kun said, "Me? I got nothing planned."
Kaneda said, "Right, "plan" gives you too much credit."
Still keeping his eye on him, he said, "I'm sorry,
Kasume. I can't today."
Kasume put the book back, "Oh? I guess I'll have to go
myself."
Ranma-kun said, "Why don't you go, "Shin-pi-ko"?"
taunting him with Tofu's alias for her.
Kaneda yanked on his pigtail as he got up from the table,
"C'mon!! We're going to be late!"
Ranma-kun yelled, "Hey!! Get your hands off of me! And I
haven't finished eatin' yet!!"
Kaneda growled, "Grrr!" He knew Ranma would only be MORE
stubborn with a guy.
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Kane-chan returned from the kitchen, "Ranma! What do you
say we BOTH go to school dressed alike!" She couldn't
bring herself to giggle.
Ranma-kun saw the crazy girl in her Furinkan blue jumper
holding out with one hand the one Nabiki had tried to get
Ranma to wear. The other hand held a squeeze water
bottle! Ranma-kun cried, "Aaa! Stay away from me!!"
Kane-chan stalked him, "You're not afraid of some
ordinary pieces of cotton, are you?" She made the hem
move back-and-forth, "Look how modest it is. It's not
like it's a mini, or anything revealing."
Ranma scrambled away from the table. "I'm a guy! You
can't make me wear a dress!"
Kane-chan's squirt of water was her answer to Ranma being
a guy or not. She then smiled wickedly at him, "If I pin
and unpin your arms with my "Clinging-to-a-Statue", I
wonder how if I CAN make you--"
Ranma-kun told her, "I'm not gonna give you the chance to
find out!" and was off for the front door, followed by
Kane-chan.
Nabiki told Kasume, "They've finally left. Now *I* can go
and change."
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Ranma's pride wouldn't let him look TOO scared by a girl.
He stayed close enough to give her a chase. He laughed,
"I'm gonna go to school as a GUY today!"
Kane-chan had the dress over an arm, and held out the
squeeze bottle out in front of her, "And how are you
going to do THAT!? Ranma Saotome is registered as a girl!
And KEI Tendou isn't registered at all!!"
Ranma-kun forced himself to sound light, "Maybe TODAY is
the day I'll let people know Ranma Saotome IS a man!"
Kane-chan was just close enough to squeeze the bottle,
"You think you're MAN enough to tell everybody you're a
GIRL!!?!" The wind blew the squirt back onto Kaneda.
Ranma-kun looked over his shoulder and gloated at the guy
in the boys' uniform, "Just 'cause YOU'RE not, doesn't
mean I--"
Splash! The old woman with the ladle got Ranma.
Kaneda picked up his speed to catch Ranma-chan before
she'd had a chance to recover. When her wrist was within
reach, "You see!? Mrs. Tanaka's praying to the water
gods, and THEY want you to be a girl!"
He just missed grabbing flesh and bone. Stepping out of
his reach, Ranma-chan confronted him, "And they're all
WET!! Let them stick to makin' mold! What do THEY know
about girls!?"
Kaneda said, "I guess you don't know about bloating,
yet!" Stupid! Like THAT'S going to have her want to be a
girl!
Kaneda knew he had to time this just right he probably
wouldn't get another shot at it. "Look! I wear a dress
when I'M a girl. You're just a coward!"
Ranma-chan cried, "A coward!!?!" She stepped forward to
challenge him using that name.
Taking the hem with his hands a meter apart, Kaneda
flipped jumper up. Expecting a standard attack, Ranma-
chan saw too late the blue jumper's skirt bell over her
like a bag. Kaneda then yanked it down, trapping Ranma-
chan's arms inside the jumper's waist and pinned blouse
itself. "I TOLD you the Tendou School used tools!"
Grabbing onto the outside of the skirt, Kaneda yelled,
"Here's your chance to prove how good the Saotome School
is--" He ran, pulling Ranma-chan by the skirt, "--at
footwork!"
DESPITE the extra training the Saotomes gave to lower
body control and improvisation, Ranma-chan was forced
again to deal with short legs. Even though her head was
completely covered up, the guy with the longer legs
didn't let up his speed. Ranma-chan had to take large,
bounding steps; on just about every other one she thought
she would trip or twist her ankle, maybe even break a
leg. But her opponent gave her no mercy: On he made her
run! He knew better than to give her the chance to
recover!
Ranma's yells were muffled, "No good cheater! Whoever
heard of martial arts DRESS-fittin'!! Let me out! Let go
of me! Just give me a chance to kick your butt! I'll
alter YOU to fit into it!!..."
Swearing all the way, Ranma-chan tried to bust the
clothes at the seams. But Kaneda had thought of how to
deal with that, too: He pulled and swung her this way and
that in an erratic pattern. It took most of Ranma-chan's
concentration just to stay on her feet. Whenever she
thought she had enough balance to use her strength to
break free, she lost it on a zig that should have been a
zag! The distraction of the stupid invisible corset didn't
help! The best she could do was use the pressure Kaneda
exerted holding onto the jumper to work her head up
towards the neck hole of the blouse.
The first sight Ranma-chan saw was their going through
the school's main gate! "Oh, no!! I'm not goin' to school
like this!!" Now that she could see, she COULD use a
Saotome technique: She dug in her heels.
But Kaneda had momentum and weight on HIS side: He swung
her around until her back was up against a school wall.
AS they BOTH gathered their breaths, martial arts style,
Kaneda told her, "You're right! You can't go to school in
pants!" It did look stupid to wear baggy pants under a
skirt, even if it was a midi.
Ranma-chan told him, "You keep your hands off of my
pants!!" She kicked out at him. He stayed just out of the
reach of her slippers. The straps of the jumper fell off
her shoulders.
Kaneda then lunged, and used the skirt itself to help pin
Ranma-chan's legs.
Meanwhile Ranma-chan had moved her hands up past the
jumper's waist and INTO the blouse. Her arms up against
it and her red shirted boobs, she started unbuttoning
from the inside. "There's NO way I'm gonna wear this!"
Kaneda, to keep the skirt tight against the wall,
replaced his hands with his knees, pressing his lower
body against her. He then started unbuttoning Ranma-
chan's red Chinese shirt she was revealing under the
blouse. "You WILL, if you have nothing ELSE to wear!"
At the sight of Ranma's large, exposed breasts, Kaneda
got a nosebleed! This on top of what had happened this
morning had caused too much pressure to build up.
Realizing what he'd done, Kaneda tilted his head back as
he reached for a handkerchief. "I'm sorry!" he told
Ranma-chan, turning away.
That was when Kaneda saw the horde of athlete-types all
suited up to attack him again.
But there weren't attacking. They were staring.
Ranma-chan yelled, "Back off, you jerks! What are you
lookin' at!?" She responded like a guy, still not making
the connection that it wasn't HIS bare chest they were
seeing.
Kaneda raised his hands, challenging, "OK, who's
first!?!"
Tears started flowing down their faces. Most of them
could be HEARD moaning and sobbing. A wrestler in
particular clenched a fist and raised his lower lip as
high as he could, "What a time to not even TRY to win
what is Kaneda's!"
The rugby player said, "We have accepted our defeat."
A dancer told them, "We had a meeting, and we've decided
to choke back our pride and recognize you as the
school's--"
A Greco-Roman wrestler added, "--the TOWN'S best
athlete!"
A boxer said, "Oh!? What about KEI Tendou?"
A baseball catcher bawled, "We can't defeat you, Kaneda,
let alone somebody from out of town!" And hid his face in
the crook of his arm.
They all lowered their heads into their hands and wept
loud and deeply as they lost face.
Ranma-chan asked, "Talk about pathetic." Used to
competing for real, she had little sympathy for those
raised on the Japanese mythos in sports mangas and anime,
and what they were going through.
Kaneda turned around to tell Ranma-chan sports WAS like
being a warrior-- When he was reminded of her large,
naked breasts again!
Squeezing his nose, Kaneda told her, "Get back into you
uniform! You don't want OTHERS to see you like that!!" He
was suddenly possessive.
Ranma-chan looked past her bare boobs, and said, "No
absolutely way do I want that!!" She brought her arms out
of the blouse and lifted the skirt over her head. In
practically one motion she had shed the girls' uniform.
Kaneda picked up the uniform and shook it at her; "I'm
going to see you in this, yet!!"
A sumo wrestler heard this, "What kind of guy would
rather see that than naked chichis?"
While Ranma-chan buttoned her Chinese shirt, Kaneda,
directed his scowl at his rivals, "Okay, you all give up.
What brought this on all of a sudden, hunh!?! SO Kei
Tendou beat you! I've done that, too."
A voice full of samurai superiority informed him,
"Because, KANEDA Tendou, this is BEYOND their petty
concerns: A base, falsehood claims that, rascally knave,
Kei Tendou, has bested ME in combat." Even Kaneda was
startled to see the President of the kendo club wrapped
from head to toe. Only his hair and an opening for his
eyes remained unbandaged.
"Lord Kuno will NEVER admit defeat!" The statement was
also a determined vow.
He stifled a sob, and dropped to his knees, propped up
only by his wooden sword.
One of the kendo club members said, "Kuno was Furinkan
High's greatest champion."
Another member said, "He was also its greatest pervert."
Kuno lifted his head, "Who are you calling a pervert!?!"
Ranma-chan said, "That's because they don't know what a
real pervert is," looking at Kaneda.
The dancer said, "I agree. Kuno DID try to warn us about
Kaneda."
The sumo wrestler said, "Kaneda's more interested in
dresses than naked chichis."
Ranma-chan said, "You got that right."
Kaneda tossed the uniform away and snapped into the
stance, challenging the jocks. But his "HEY!!" was
directed over his shoulder at Ranma-chan.
A rugby player said, "Don't get us wrong, Kaneda. You're
an okay enough guy, I guess. You leave us alone when
we're not picking on you."
A tackle asked, "But please leave our girlfriends alone."
The boxer said, "And pass the message along to your
cousin, Kei, too! We don't want to have to fight him
again."
Kuno picked up his sacred vow again, "I shall NEVER admit
defeat! Whether that cretinous Kei Tendou kicks me one
hundred times or two hundred times, it matters not to
Tatewaki Kuno." And he pulled the bandages away from his
face.
Nasty black-and-blue footprints went across the skin
around his mouth and eyes.
The Horde of Jocks exclaimed, "Oh-whoa-oh!...."
Ranma-chan ran over to confront the stuck-up jerk, "What
are you callin' cretinous!?! Admit it: I beat you fair
and square!" She thought the bandages were just some
stupid mind game the idiot was playing.
Kaneda came up to warn her, "Hey, wait a minute!"
Kuno rose to his feet and walked over to Ranma-chan with
as much dignity as his condition allowed, "Pigtailed
goddess, it is no other."
When his hand clasped hers, Ranma-chan cried, "Hey, you
creep!"
Kaneda cried, "Oh, boy!"
Kuno stared into Ranma-chan's big, blue eyes; "That
honeyed voice."
Ranma-chan told him, "Don't forget Akane! SHE showed you
her boobs on purpose!"
Kaneda HAD to step in, "Kuno! Leave Ranma alone! She's
MINE!"
One of the jocks behind them said, "It's about time
Kaneda acted like a fiance."
Ranma-chan told Kaneda, "YOU stay outa this!"
Somebody in the crowd said, "Did you hear that?!"
He was answered with, "I guess she KNOWS how big of a
pervert Kaneda is."
A third said, "Well: Da! He stripped her in front of us!"
Kaneda screamed, "I did NOT strip her!!"
A kendo club member asked, "A lady's honor is at stake.
Are you sure we're going to stay out of this?"
Kuno cried, "You vile defiler of women!! You shall be the
first Tendou to fall!!"
Ranma-chan yelled, "Hey: This is MY fight!" And she
kicked Kuno across the, until now, unbruised nose.
Kuno landed meters away on his back. He lay still and
unconscious.
The dancer said, "Defending a lady's honor isn't what it
used to be."
A football play asked a question that seemed self-
evident, "Are we men going to stay OUT of it!?!"
There was a near universal, "Unh, hunh!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kaneda went to get Ranma's schoolgirl uniform.
But Ranma-chan gave him a good-bye wave, "I'm off to
change!" She jumped on top of the heads of the jocks and
took off on them.
A boxer asked, "Oh, she IS going to wear something else?"
The dancer said, "If YOU were a girl, would you trust
anything a Tendou wanted you in?" Kaneda's reputation had
started to shift from a loser pervert to possibly being
winner pervert. Jealousy was mixed in with disgust. What
could tip it the other way?
Blushing, Kaneda hid the dress behind his back as he
waded into the crowd looking to follow Ranma-chan.
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Entering Furinkan's main building, Kaneda held his water
bottle out as if were a lone soldier searching for his
target. He muttered to himself, "I better get to Ranma
quick."
The lobby was much more crowded than usual; and people
were coming down the stairs, not up. "But everybody's
supposed to be going UP to their classes." There was also
something odd about a scattered number of them, but
Kaneda was too confused to put his finger on it right
away.
Nabiki was waiting for him. She took his elbow, and
directed him to, "Follow the flow, for once, little
brother. We have assembly today."
Kaneda looked at her, "Assembly?? At Furinkan? Other
schools might have Monday Morning Assemblies, but--" Then
he noticed WHAT his sister was wearing: "Why are you
dressed like that??!"
Nabiki pulled at her blue slacks and gold shirt (with a
red necktie, no less) as if she were modeling them, "What
do you think of the new dress code? I've called in a few
favors, and passed the word among the girls." Kaneda
looked back at the students headed for the Assembly Hall.
That was what was different. There weren't many, but
there WERE some girls, even boyfriends, in the kind of
clothes they wore away from school, dresses, blouses,
skirts, pants, and shirts. A few even wore noticeable
makeup.
Nabiki said, pleased with herself, "A new day has come to
Furinkan. It cost enough, but--" She looked away from him
as she noticed, "Ah! Here come your friends."
Kaneda saw that Hiroshi and Daisuke were coming down the
stairs. And they saw Nabiki, and him, "Hello!" Hiroshi
smiled at Nabiki, "That's a nice outfit."
Daisuke agreed, "It shows off your figure better than the
school's uniform, at least."
Nabiki smiled back as if she were flattered, "How sweet."
Kaneda said, "Hello, Hiroshi, Daisuke."
It was then Hiroshi really noticed him...and the girls'
dress he was carrying, "Is that uniform for your sister?
Something happen to her other one?"
Daisuke asked, disappointed with the obvious, "Is that
the ONLY reason she's in her civies?"
Kaneda told them, "No, this is Ranma's uniform."
Hiroshi asked, "She's running around without her
uniform!?!"
Daisuke frowned, "Only in our fantasies."
Nabiki waved, "Ciao! I'm off to spread the word about the
new dress code!"
Before she disappeared into the crowd, Kaneda called out,
"What's happening?! What did you do, Nabiki!?!!"
She told him, "I followed the Yellow Brick Road, and saw
the Wizard of Ozu!" And just as he lost sight of her, she
added, "A ninja computer wizard!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
As Kaneda and his friends headed towards the Assembly
Hall with the rest of the jostling crowd, he asked, "What
do you know about what's going on?!"
Daisuke said, "Your sister is responsible, and she didn't
tell you anything? Close family."
Hiroshi said, "Give Kaneda a break; you know what his
sister's like. It keeps him from being charged with
anything." Then he said to the little brother, "Rumor has
it that they did a computer search, and brought somebody
in to replace Mr. Touno. He was out of here as soon as he
got the forms."
Kaneda had to ask, "Who's Mr. Touno?"
Hiroshi told him, "Touno was the acting headmaster for
Furinkan!"
Daisuke said, "It's no wonder you didn't know who he was.
He kept to himself."
Hiroshi said, "Yeah! They say he took the samurai Spartan
thing mucho seriously."
Daisuke nodded, "He would ALWAYS walk around without
shoes, even in winter. He would hit a rock with his sword
over and over in the same spot until he broke it. He
would stand under EVERY waterfall he came to for
hours..."
Hiroshi agreed, "A real masochist."
Kaneda said, "It sounds like we were lucky he didn't make
US do those kinds of things."
Daisuke said, "Then he'd have been a sadist, as well."
Hiroshi said in lowered voice, looking around, "They SAY
Touno's the reason there are so many jocks running loose
around here. He wanted Furinkan to turn out warriors."
Daisuke said, "And he looked for ways to ACT like
warriors."
Kaneda stopped, "Are, are you saying THAT'S why I've been
in all those fights!?! Thanks for telling me, now!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When they got to Assembly Hall, they found that the seats
in the back had been taken. If they were to remain
together, they would have to sit near the front.
Meanwhile, Kaneda was looking around for Ranma, either
one.
Sitting second row, the furthest from the center aisle,
Hiroshi was listening to the conversations around them.
Hiroshi said, "Did you hear that? The teachers don't like
getting a new acting headmaster. They're afraid the REAL
headmaster will find out and come back!"
Daisuke said, "Where has he been? Nobody seems to know
who the real headmaster is? And what is FURINKAN, his
little fiefdom?"
Kaneda asked, "Do you see Ranma?" With that red shirt, he
would've thought Ranma would be easy to spot, girl or
guy.
Hiroshi said, "That headmaster must be one really bad
dude to have a bunch of teachers spooked."
Daisuke said, "That must be why he IS headmaster."
Hiroshi said, "Yeah, he out-intimidates the
Intimidators."
Daisuke said, "I don't get that intimidated by teachers."
Not that he'd admit, anyway.
Kaneda said, "I hope Ranma hasn't skipped school again."
He told his friends, "You know, in Japan, only elementary
and junior high is mandatory. They can't make you go to
high school."
Daisuke said, "Tell that to my parents."
Hiroshi said, "I'm just glad mine don't send me to cram
school or worse."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hiroshi looked at his watch, "What's taking so long!?!
These kinds of assemblies are only supposed to take 25
minutes!"
Daisuke said, "You tell me. You're the one who likes to
eavesdrop."
Kaneda said, "Damn! Ranma has GOT to have bailed again!
How am I going to keep her in school!?"
Hiroshi had a fast ear. Turning them first this way, then
that, he reported, "The rumors are the teachers aren't
unhappy JUST about getting a new acting headmaster."
Kaneda crossed his arms, and slumped down in his chair.
"Why are we saying "headmaster", and not principal?"
He was sitting on Ranma's uniform.
Daisuke had a suggestion, "Because the guy's going to
mess with our heads? That's what school's all about,
isn't it."
Hiroshi said, "I haven't found out what the problem is,
yet. All of the new guy's records they keep in the
computers are supposed to be okay. But they left some
things out of the records."
Daisuke commented, "Hmmph! Okay for a headmaster. That
doesn't mean they're okay for us. Maybe they chose the
guy because he's WORSE than the real headmaster."
Kaneda was finally listening to what his friends were
saying, "Why would Nabiki want to do that!??" Suddenly he
had a very bad feeling. "--Some things were left out!?!"
Even a spider can get caught in her own web.
The audience stirred and sat up straighter. One of the
teachers had walked onto the stage. It was Kaneda's
history teacher, Mr. Fujiwara, the eldest teacher at
Furinkan. He slammed the book he always carried down on
the podium. Like a gavel, it brought a quiet to the
auditorium.
Mr. Fujiwara said, "Before your new acting-headmaster is
introduced I have a few announcements to make." It was
hard to hear the old man's voice because he hadn't turned
the mike on, but everybody wanted to hear. "By agreement
between the new administrator and faculty: (A) Furinkan
will continue to emphasize sports." There was a mixture
or cheers and groans at that news. "But," he got a sour
face at this part, "there will be greater emphasis on
girls' sports." Here, there were more groans than cheers.
"(B) The dress code will NOT be changed. All students
will attend school in the their prescribed uniform." No
one cheered this news; the only groans were from the few
who had believed Nabiki.
Kaneda said, "So much for that part of Nabiki's grand
scheme. It doesn't look good for the rest of it."
Mr. Fujiwara continued, "And (C) free time between
classes will change from five minutes, and immediately
return to the NORMAL ten minutes." There was a great
cheer at this news. That meant LESS class time, more
goofing off time! And it was something the teachers had
wanted, too.
When the noise had died down, the teacher picked up his
book from the podium. "And now, the new
acting -headmaster."
A little girl in a yellow dress hopped, skipped and
bounced onto stage. Giving a big wave, she greeted them
with, "Hello, Everybody! My name is Miss Hinako
Ninomiya!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kaneda, Hiroshi, Daisuke--Nobody could believe that this
little kid was going to be their new principal!
Ignoring the stunned silence, little Miss Hinako leaned
forward, and wagging a finger, said, "I hope you all will be
GOOD boys and girls!"
Not only was she a little kid, she acted like a little
kid! A cutsey one!
She straightened up, "Because if you're not--I PUNISH
naughty, naughty children!"
What??! THIS kawaii elementary schoolgirl was going to
punish THEM!??! Power had already gone to her head.
Furinkan High WAS somebody's little kingdom, and his
little princess daughter had taken over!
Miss Hinako said confidently, "Now I know you don't
believe me! But I I've already cleaned up TWO reform
schools!"
Reform schools? What did she do, kill them with cavities?
Kaneda had heard of some STRANGE martial arts techniques.
Maybe she had filled the schools up with sugar and then
flooded them with water until the delinquents were
trapped in the heavy syrup.
No, she had said "cleaned up".
Kaneda started to imagine techniques that involved
household cleansers. She WAS at the age where girls liked
to play house, wasn't she?
Suddenly the silence was broken when a girl stood up in
the front row a section across from where Kaneda sat.
When he saw who it was, HE almost rose out of his seat.
Nabiki asked, "Miss Hinako, will you recognize special
exceptions to the dress code? ...Like, say, Chinese
clothes?"
Somebody cried out in surprise: "OH-W-Oww!!" It was
Ranma-chan jumping out of the audience like somebody had
goosed her. She landed near Nabiki. The girl in the Chinese
clothes was still dripping wet.
She confronted the wise acre sister, "Hey!! Don't try and
help me!"
Miss Hinako said, "Oh, that is just not RIGHT! You don't
look like a proper young lady at all!"
Ranma-chan turned to and looked up onto the stage,
"That's because I'm NOT a proper lady at all!!"
Miss Hinako had her long sleeves up in front of her
mouth; wide-eyed she asked, "Does that mean you admit to
being a delinquent?"
Ranma-chan cried, "Of COURSE not!!"
Miss Hinako frowned, "You SOUND like a delinquent! Only
delinquents yell at their elders!"
Nabiki explained, "Please understand, Miss Hinako," She
did a brief turn to address the auditorium as well,
"...and everybody. Ranma has special problems. You see,
her father craved a son so badly he refused to accept her as
a girl. Ranma has been raised to believe she was, in fact, a
guy, and...." She did her melodramatic turn again, "Well, it's
a common enough tale in Japanese literature. I'm sure
you've heard them."
There WERE stories like that. And knowledge of them
brought murmurs and nods of agreement that it was
possible. Both girls and guys voiced their sympathy.
Quiet a few said they'd like to help the poor, confused
girl.
Ranma-chan cried, "That's a LIE! I AM a guy!!"
Nabiki said in her level serious voice, "Then why does
ALL your computer records, and most of your paper ones,
from your birth certificate on, show that you are, and
always HAVE been a girl."
Ranma-chan cried, "They do not!!"
Nabiki smirked, triumphantly, as she was finally able to
reveal, "They do now. Ranma Saotome as a male officially
exists only as a deluded fantasy. Welcome to MY gender.
Checkmate."
Miss Hinako blinked, " "Ranma Saotome", you say? WHY that
was the name on the forms I got assigning me to this
school. Ranma Saotome is my special project!"
The End of this chapter
[For those who asked, "Checkmate" means "Same sex
means no marriage." The way for their mating is checked.
Ranma as a girl can't be engaged to another girl. But Kei
can.]
[I am not forcing Ranma to be a girl. Unlike other stories,
Ranma is free to be a guy or a girl; he is only officially a
girl, now. Kei isn't. Ranma and Kaneda are only being forced
to come to terms with their girl halves so they can come to an
agreement about who will be the girl. With their girl bodies
come girl brains; they can adjust to being girls just as much
as they allow themselves to.]
[Besides hacking, Zyunzi Ozu used his computer skills to
figure out how to best use his ninja skills. What records his
computer couldn't change, his burglary ones could.]
["Tomobiki" means "Friend-Pulling", which is why you do
NOT want to hold a funeral on that day, but DO want to
hold a wedding. That's why it is a VERY bad luck day for
Ranma.]
[You can't date these stories from the title. Because I
like this title, the calendar in this alternativerse is
out of sync with ours.]
By Ron Dow75
13: Tomobiki the 13th
In the six-day Buddhist week Tomobiki can be a very bad
luck day. The only thing that could have made THIS day
any unluckier was if it were FRIDAY the 13th on the
International calendar.
Morning, Monday the 13th. Ranma-kun's only alarm clock
was internal. It was set to get him up before dawn to
begin the day with a round of sparring with his old man.
Waking was the time to remember dreams:
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Sunday evening. Ranma-chan slowly came to. It took a
while for her to be aware what was happening. Ranma had a
keenly trained sense of body, but it seemed dull when he
was a girl. Pop told him it was all in his head. Change
the gender of the pronouns, and that was something the
Old Man COULD be right about. If a martial artist didn't
live or die by their body--a point Pop had made sure she
got by constantly challenging her to a fight at every
turn on their long trip back from China--Ranma would've
put even more distance between him and it than she had.
It felt like her legs and arms were wrapped around
something. She was reminded of the time she had spent the
night up a power pole in one of Pop's stupid training
exercises.
--Cats!! The word clawed at her throat. Had the stupid
Old Man had sprinkled fish oil all around a greased pole
again!?!!
Ranma-chan tried to get awake and get away: "Aaar!!" But
found that the pole was soft and warm. And the rungs were
hands under her thighs.
--But her hands were tied! And she was wearing a corset!!
Why hadn't she felt any sense of danger!?!
Kane-chan said, "Don't SQUEEZE me like that! If you want
me to put you down, I will!"
Ranma-chan, aware at last, saw that Kane-chan was giving
her a piggyback ride. Kane-chan's hands and hips were
supporting her thighs. Kane-chan had used Ranma-chan's
own belt to keep her hands around upper chest. She also
saw that they were headed back towards the Tendou house.
The streetlights were on, but it didn't look too much
later than....
Ranma-chan asked, "Wha, what happened? How'd I get here?"
Kane-chan said, "You tell me. My back was turned when you
attacked Dr. Tofu."
Ranma-chan cried, "That's right!" as she sat up straight.
Kane-chan let her get off of her.
Ranma-chan immediately fell on her butt. "My muscles are
TOO relaxed! They won't give me any support!"
Turning around, Kane-chan put her hands on her hips and
sighed, "I guess I WILL have to carry you the rest of the
way." The girl who wanted Ranma to be her girlfriend
didn't seem too happy about the idea.
Ranma-chan asked herself, "What did that acupressurist DO
to me!?! How can I prepare against him, if--" Suddenly
she had a flash of memory. The smiling man in the glasses
had told her to relax; he meant her no harm. Ranma-chan
wondered, "A hypnotic shiatsu technique??"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was Monday, a school day. Ranma-kun got off of his
futon/mattress wondering if he was still under a post-
hypnotic spell. He didn't really resent the man who'd put
the corset back on him. "Since he can take it off of me,
again, I guess I gotta play his game...for now."
After doing a few stretching exercises, Ranma-kun stopped
to pull up his undershirt. The invisible corset gave even
his male body a definite hourglass figure. And the
exercises only reminded him more that it was there.
Behind and below, his pop asked, "What happened to you,
boy!?!"
Snarling, Ranma-kun spun around and attacked the man
still in bed. It felt GOOD not to be relaxed.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
They had carried their fight into the Tendou garden. For
once, Pop kept his mouth shut. He wasn't interested in
creating a battle simulation today. Practice was
different from battle simulation. Practice was to get the
get the body to do what it was SUPPOSED to do, time after
time. It was not the time for emotions. Emotions were for
when you wanted to put serious power into your battle
aura. Even when Ranma was his most pissed off at his Old
Man, he couldn't put all that much into it. Pop had
conditioned Ranma to limit the amount he could use
against him. Practicing also tamped down his emotions.
Sparring with the Old Man was such a familiar routine
when in his own body Ranma-kun's feelings actually eased.
...Or maybe it WAS the post-hypnotic spell.
The eldest daughter came to the open doors of the garden
hall, "Mr. Saotome! Ranma! Breakfast!"
Mr. Saotome stopped to called back, "Thank you, Kasumi!
It smells delici--"
They had forgotten they were in mid-air. They had been
using each other to stay aloft.
Splash! They landed in the koi pond.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
While the panda was on all fours shaking the water from
its fur, Ranma-chan took off her pants. She squeezed the
pond water from them as best she could. She kept her
underpants on, and squeezed them where they were loose.
She was glad her body sense was dull. She didn't want to
feel the curves and extra-padding. Her well-trained mind
used the technique she used to fight-while-injured to put
even more awareness between her and the body. She
wouldn't give herself a chance to feel effeminate. And
she didn't. But it also left herself more open to her
subconscious. And her subconscious equated this girl-body
with what it knew of girl bodies. In the irony of the
human psychology, by denying her girl half, Ranma had
more of a feminine manner than when she had fought
against it.
She put her pants back on, and started taking her shirt
off.
While the panda went to sit at the family table, Ranma
sat down cross-legged in the garden hall. She took off
her undershirt and squeezed its water onto the grass.
There was something about a wet shirt....
That was when Nabiki Tendou came into the family room
behind Ranma-chan, "You needn't bother putting that back
on. I brought you your school uniform."
When the panda saw the sky blue jumper and white blouse,
it spewed out the tea it was drinking.
Ranma-chan remained where she was sitting, unaware of
which uniform was being offered; "I'm not wearin' any
uniform. I have to wear Chinese clothes."
Nabiki said, "Why? Did you take some," she indulged
herself in a little melodrama: " "vow to remain in
Chinese clothes as long as you have a Chinese curse"?"
Ranma-chan said, "Something like that."
Mr. Tendou came down the hall from his room. He was still
brushing his teeth, " ' Morning, Ranma. Morning workout,
hunh?"
Ranma-chan smiled up at him, "Good morning, Mr. Tendou!"
Kaneda, in his school uniform, said, "Good morning,
Ranma!"
Ranma-chan twisted herself around to say, "Good morning,
Kane--" Why was she grinning nice and sweetly at him!!?!
Nabiki looked at the effect Ranma-chan's size Ds were
having on the two menfolk. They stood there like statues,
just staring. She got in the space between the two guys,
"Ranma, you have GOT to learn feminine modesty." She then
draped the Furinkan girls' uniform over Ranma's front.
Kaneda cried, "Oh-oh!.... Did you HAVE to, Nabiki?!"
It took a moment for it to register on Ranma what was
being used to cover her. "A DRESS!!?!" It was almost a
dress. Kasume had carefully and artfully used safety pins
had been used to attach the blouse to the jumper. They
were hidden out of sight.
Nabiki corrected her, "A uniform. Your uniform."
Ranma-chan snatched off of her, and in one motion had
pivoted around onto one knee. She THREW it at the smart
aleck, "That's NOT funny!!"
Nabiki caught it. Smiling smugly she said, "This is no
joke. As far as the school is concerned, YOU'RE a girl."
Ranma-chan told her, "I don't CARE what others think!"
Nabiki was still smiling as she placed the dress over her
arm, "Oh, you don't, do you?" She turned for the family
room, "Kaneda, it is up to you to say the right thing at
the right time." Then she said cryptically, "It will be
up to others to see that the right thing to occurs."
Kaneda said, "Hunh?" He was a little distracted by the
sight of Ranma-chan's again bare boobs.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
At breakfast, Kaneda was still distracted THINKING about
Ranma-chan's naked boobs.
Ranma-kun was fully dressed in his red shirt and blue
pants now. He poured his bowl of miso over his bowl of
rice. He looked at the guy sitting next to him, "If
you're gonna stare into space like that, I guess you
won't mind me havin' that dumpling?" Ranma was
determined to be ignorant; it helped that he was not a
girl then.
Kaneda looked over at Ranma...and saw a guy's chest. He
frowned, "No! I wanted that!" Girls traditionally were
supposed to defer to males; it helped that he was not a
girl then.
Ranma-kun quirked a smile, "Ha! Too bad!" as she picked
up her chopsticks.
Kaneda picked up the dish.
Ranma-kun cried, "Hey!"
Kaneda brought it around to the side away from the guy
that should be a girl, "Ha! You have to learn to think
about somebody besides yourself!"
Ranma-kun told her, "HA! That's a good one! You're one to
talk..."
While they fought, the panda reached over with its
chopsticks and plucked the dumpling away for itself.
Drinking from the bowl, Nabiki said to Kasumi, "The
soup's a little bland today, don't you think?"
Doing likewise, Kasumi said, "Do you think so?" She then
noticed on the other side of her, "Father, isn't it time
you took that toothbrush out?" Except that her father's
stare wasn't blank, it was as if he was in one of his
trances again. "I wonder if I pour a glass of water on
Father, he'll return to us?" Ranma wasn't the only one
who preferred ignore the obvious.
"Oh, that's right!" Kasumi now talked across the table,
"Kaneda? Do me a favor and drop by Doctor Tofu's clinic
on your way home from school."
Ranma-kun almost choked when he heard the Tofu's name.
Kaneda stopped eating, too, as he seriously studied
Ranma's reactions.
Kasume explained, "I borrowed this book." She picked it
from beside her cushion. "Will you return it to Doctor
Tofu for me?"
Ranma-kun said, "Sure, why don'tcha do it?"
Kaneda looked at him intently, "Why? What do you have
planned?"
Ranma-kun said, "Me? I got nothing planned."
Kaneda said, "Right, "plan" gives you too much credit."
Still keeping his eye on him, he said, "I'm sorry,
Kasume. I can't today."
Kasume put the book back, "Oh? I guess I'll have to go
myself."
Ranma-kun said, "Why don't you go, "Shin-pi-ko"?"
taunting him with Tofu's alias for her.
Kaneda yanked on his pigtail as he got up from the table,
"C'mon!! We're going to be late!"
Ranma-kun yelled, "Hey!! Get your hands off of me! And I
haven't finished eatin' yet!!"
Kaneda growled, "Grrr!" He knew Ranma would only be MORE
stubborn with a guy.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kane-chan returned from the kitchen, "Ranma! What do you
say we BOTH go to school dressed alike!" She couldn't
bring herself to giggle.
Ranma-kun saw the crazy girl in her Furinkan blue jumper
holding out with one hand the one Nabiki had tried to get
Ranma to wear. The other hand held a squeeze water
bottle! Ranma-kun cried, "Aaa! Stay away from me!!"
Kane-chan stalked him, "You're not afraid of some
ordinary pieces of cotton, are you?" She made the hem
move back-and-forth, "Look how modest it is. It's not
like it's a mini, or anything revealing."
Ranma scrambled away from the table. "I'm a guy! You
can't make me wear a dress!"
Kane-chan's squirt of water was her answer to Ranma being
a guy or not. She then smiled wickedly at him, "If I pin
and unpin your arms with my "Clinging-to-a-Statue", I
wonder how if I CAN make you--"
Ranma-kun told her, "I'm not gonna give you the chance to
find out!" and was off for the front door, followed by
Kane-chan.
Nabiki told Kasume, "They've finally left. Now *I* can go
and change."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Ranma's pride wouldn't let him look TOO scared by a girl.
He stayed close enough to give her a chase. He laughed,
"I'm gonna go to school as a GUY today!"
Kane-chan had the dress over an arm, and held out the
squeeze bottle out in front of her, "And how are you
going to do THAT!? Ranma Saotome is registered as a girl!
And KEI Tendou isn't registered at all!!"
Ranma-kun forced himself to sound light, "Maybe TODAY is
the day I'll let people know Ranma Saotome IS a man!"
Kane-chan was just close enough to squeeze the bottle,
"You think you're MAN enough to tell everybody you're a
GIRL!!?!" The wind blew the squirt back onto Kaneda.
Ranma-kun looked over his shoulder and gloated at the guy
in the boys' uniform, "Just 'cause YOU'RE not, doesn't
mean I--"
Splash! The old woman with the ladle got Ranma.
Kaneda picked up his speed to catch Ranma-chan before
she'd had a chance to recover. When her wrist was within
reach, "You see!? Mrs. Tanaka's praying to the water
gods, and THEY want you to be a girl!"
He just missed grabbing flesh and bone. Stepping out of
his reach, Ranma-chan confronted him, "And they're all
WET!! Let them stick to makin' mold! What do THEY know
about girls!?"
Kaneda said, "I guess you don't know about bloating,
yet!" Stupid! Like THAT'S going to have her want to be a
girl!
Kaneda knew he had to time this just right he probably
wouldn't get another shot at it. "Look! I wear a dress
when I'M a girl. You're just a coward!"
Ranma-chan cried, "A coward!!?!" She stepped forward to
challenge him using that name.
Taking the hem with his hands a meter apart, Kaneda
flipped jumper up. Expecting a standard attack, Ranma-
chan saw too late the blue jumper's skirt bell over her
like a bag. Kaneda then yanked it down, trapping Ranma-
chan's arms inside the jumper's waist and pinned blouse
itself. "I TOLD you the Tendou School used tools!"
Grabbing onto the outside of the skirt, Kaneda yelled,
"Here's your chance to prove how good the Saotome School
is--" He ran, pulling Ranma-chan by the skirt, "--at
footwork!"
DESPITE the extra training the Saotomes gave to lower
body control and improvisation, Ranma-chan was forced
again to deal with short legs. Even though her head was
completely covered up, the guy with the longer legs
didn't let up his speed. Ranma-chan had to take large,
bounding steps; on just about every other one she thought
she would trip or twist her ankle, maybe even break a
leg. But her opponent gave her no mercy: On he made her
run! He knew better than to give her the chance to
recover!
Ranma's yells were muffled, "No good cheater! Whoever
heard of martial arts DRESS-fittin'!! Let me out! Let go
of me! Just give me a chance to kick your butt! I'll
alter YOU to fit into it!!..."
Swearing all the way, Ranma-chan tried to bust the
clothes at the seams. But Kaneda had thought of how to
deal with that, too: He pulled and swung her this way and
that in an erratic pattern. It took most of Ranma-chan's
concentration just to stay on her feet. Whenever she
thought she had enough balance to use her strength to
break free, she lost it on a zig that should have been a
zag! The distraction of the stupid invisible corset didn't
help! The best she could do was use the pressure Kaneda
exerted holding onto the jumper to work her head up
towards the neck hole of the blouse.
The first sight Ranma-chan saw was their going through
the school's main gate! "Oh, no!! I'm not goin' to school
like this!!" Now that she could see, she COULD use a
Saotome technique: She dug in her heels.
But Kaneda had momentum and weight on HIS side: He swung
her around until her back was up against a school wall.
AS they BOTH gathered their breaths, martial arts style,
Kaneda told her, "You're right! You can't go to school in
pants!" It did look stupid to wear baggy pants under a
skirt, even if it was a midi.
Ranma-chan told him, "You keep your hands off of my
pants!!" She kicked out at him. He stayed just out of the
reach of her slippers. The straps of the jumper fell off
her shoulders.
Kaneda then lunged, and used the skirt itself to help pin
Ranma-chan's legs.
Meanwhile Ranma-chan had moved her hands up past the
jumper's waist and INTO the blouse. Her arms up against
it and her red shirted boobs, she started unbuttoning
from the inside. "There's NO way I'm gonna wear this!"
Kaneda, to keep the skirt tight against the wall,
replaced his hands with his knees, pressing his lower
body against her. He then started unbuttoning Ranma-
chan's red Chinese shirt she was revealing under the
blouse. "You WILL, if you have nothing ELSE to wear!"
At the sight of Ranma's large, exposed breasts, Kaneda
got a nosebleed! This on top of what had happened this
morning had caused too much pressure to build up.
Realizing what he'd done, Kaneda tilted his head back as
he reached for a handkerchief. "I'm sorry!" he told
Ranma-chan, turning away.
That was when Kaneda saw the horde of athlete-types all
suited up to attack him again.
But there weren't attacking. They were staring.
Ranma-chan yelled, "Back off, you jerks! What are you
lookin' at!?" She responded like a guy, still not making
the connection that it wasn't HIS bare chest they were
seeing.
Kaneda raised his hands, challenging, "OK, who's
first!?!"
Tears started flowing down their faces. Most of them
could be HEARD moaning and sobbing. A wrestler in
particular clenched a fist and raised his lower lip as
high as he could, "What a time to not even TRY to win
what is Kaneda's!"
The rugby player said, "We have accepted our defeat."
A dancer told them, "We had a meeting, and we've decided
to choke back our pride and recognize you as the
school's--"
A Greco-Roman wrestler added, "--the TOWN'S best
athlete!"
A boxer said, "Oh!? What about KEI Tendou?"
A baseball catcher bawled, "We can't defeat you, Kaneda,
let alone somebody from out of town!" And hid his face in
the crook of his arm.
They all lowered their heads into their hands and wept
loud and deeply as they lost face.
Ranma-chan asked, "Talk about pathetic." Used to
competing for real, she had little sympathy for those
raised on the Japanese mythos in sports mangas and anime,
and what they were going through.
Kaneda turned around to tell Ranma-chan sports WAS like
being a warrior-- When he was reminded of her large,
naked breasts again!
Squeezing his nose, Kaneda told her, "Get back into you
uniform! You don't want OTHERS to see you like that!!" He
was suddenly possessive.
Ranma-chan looked past her bare boobs, and said, "No
absolutely way do I want that!!" She brought her arms out
of the blouse and lifted the skirt over her head. In
practically one motion she had shed the girls' uniform.
Kaneda picked up the uniform and shook it at her; "I'm
going to see you in this, yet!!"
A sumo wrestler heard this, "What kind of guy would
rather see that than naked chichis?"
While Ranma-chan buttoned her Chinese shirt, Kaneda,
directed his scowl at his rivals, "Okay, you all give up.
What brought this on all of a sudden, hunh!?! SO Kei
Tendou beat you! I've done that, too."
A voice full of samurai superiority informed him,
"Because, KANEDA Tendou, this is BEYOND their petty
concerns: A base, falsehood claims that, rascally knave,
Kei Tendou, has bested ME in combat." Even Kaneda was
startled to see the President of the kendo club wrapped
from head to toe. Only his hair and an opening for his
eyes remained unbandaged.
"Lord Kuno will NEVER admit defeat!" The statement was
also a determined vow.
He stifled a sob, and dropped to his knees, propped up
only by his wooden sword.
One of the kendo club members said, "Kuno was Furinkan
High's greatest champion."
Another member said, "He was also its greatest pervert."
Kuno lifted his head, "Who are you calling a pervert!?!"
Ranma-chan said, "That's because they don't know what a
real pervert is," looking at Kaneda.
The dancer said, "I agree. Kuno DID try to warn us about
Kaneda."
The sumo wrestler said, "Kaneda's more interested in
dresses than naked chichis."
Ranma-chan said, "You got that right."
Kaneda tossed the uniform away and snapped into the
stance, challenging the jocks. But his "HEY!!" was
directed over his shoulder at Ranma-chan.
A rugby player said, "Don't get us wrong, Kaneda. You're
an okay enough guy, I guess. You leave us alone when
we're not picking on you."
A tackle asked, "But please leave our girlfriends alone."
The boxer said, "And pass the message along to your
cousin, Kei, too! We don't want to have to fight him
again."
Kuno picked up his sacred vow again, "I shall NEVER admit
defeat! Whether that cretinous Kei Tendou kicks me one
hundred times or two hundred times, it matters not to
Tatewaki Kuno." And he pulled the bandages away from his
face.
Nasty black-and-blue footprints went across the skin
around his mouth and eyes.
The Horde of Jocks exclaimed, "Oh-whoa-oh!...."
Ranma-chan ran over to confront the stuck-up jerk, "What
are you callin' cretinous!?! Admit it: I beat you fair
and square!" She thought the bandages were just some
stupid mind game the idiot was playing.
Kaneda came up to warn her, "Hey, wait a minute!"
Kuno rose to his feet and walked over to Ranma-chan with
as much dignity as his condition allowed, "Pigtailed
goddess, it is no other."
When his hand clasped hers, Ranma-chan cried, "Hey, you
creep!"
Kaneda cried, "Oh, boy!"
Kuno stared into Ranma-chan's big, blue eyes; "That
honeyed voice."
Ranma-chan told him, "Don't forget Akane! SHE showed you
her boobs on purpose!"
Kaneda HAD to step in, "Kuno! Leave Ranma alone! She's
MINE!"
One of the jocks behind them said, "It's about time
Kaneda acted like a fiance."
Ranma-chan told Kaneda, "YOU stay outa this!"
Somebody in the crowd said, "Did you hear that?!"
He was answered with, "I guess she KNOWS how big of a
pervert Kaneda is."
A third said, "Well: Da! He stripped her in front of us!"
Kaneda screamed, "I did NOT strip her!!"
A kendo club member asked, "A lady's honor is at stake.
Are you sure we're going to stay out of this?"
Kuno cried, "You vile defiler of women!! You shall be the
first Tendou to fall!!"
Ranma-chan yelled, "Hey: This is MY fight!" And she
kicked Kuno across the, until now, unbruised nose.
Kuno landed meters away on his back. He lay still and
unconscious.
The dancer said, "Defending a lady's honor isn't what it
used to be."
A football play asked a question that seemed self-
evident, "Are we men going to stay OUT of it!?!"
There was a near universal, "Unh, hunh!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kaneda went to get Ranma's schoolgirl uniform.
But Ranma-chan gave him a good-bye wave, "I'm off to
change!" She jumped on top of the heads of the jocks and
took off on them.
A boxer asked, "Oh, she IS going to wear something else?"
The dancer said, "If YOU were a girl, would you trust
anything a Tendou wanted you in?" Kaneda's reputation had
started to shift from a loser pervert to possibly being
winner pervert. Jealousy was mixed in with disgust. What
could tip it the other way?
Blushing, Kaneda hid the dress behind his back as he
waded into the crowd looking to follow Ranma-chan.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Entering Furinkan's main building, Kaneda held his water
bottle out as if were a lone soldier searching for his
target. He muttered to himself, "I better get to Ranma
quick."
The lobby was much more crowded than usual; and people
were coming down the stairs, not up. "But everybody's
supposed to be going UP to their classes." There was also
something odd about a scattered number of them, but
Kaneda was too confused to put his finger on it right
away.
Nabiki was waiting for him. She took his elbow, and
directed him to, "Follow the flow, for once, little
brother. We have assembly today."
Kaneda looked at her, "Assembly?? At Furinkan? Other
schools might have Monday Morning Assemblies, but--" Then
he noticed WHAT his sister was wearing: "Why are you
dressed like that??!"
Nabiki pulled at her blue slacks and gold shirt (with a
red necktie, no less) as if she were modeling them, "What
do you think of the new dress code? I've called in a few
favors, and passed the word among the girls." Kaneda
looked back at the students headed for the Assembly Hall.
That was what was different. There weren't many, but
there WERE some girls, even boyfriends, in the kind of
clothes they wore away from school, dresses, blouses,
skirts, pants, and shirts. A few even wore noticeable
makeup.
Nabiki said, pleased with herself, "A new day has come to
Furinkan. It cost enough, but--" She looked away from him
as she noticed, "Ah! Here come your friends."
Kaneda saw that Hiroshi and Daisuke were coming down the
stairs. And they saw Nabiki, and him, "Hello!" Hiroshi
smiled at Nabiki, "That's a nice outfit."
Daisuke agreed, "It shows off your figure better than the
school's uniform, at least."
Nabiki smiled back as if she were flattered, "How sweet."
Kaneda said, "Hello, Hiroshi, Daisuke."
It was then Hiroshi really noticed him...and the girls'
dress he was carrying, "Is that uniform for your sister?
Something happen to her other one?"
Daisuke asked, disappointed with the obvious, "Is that
the ONLY reason she's in her civies?"
Kaneda told them, "No, this is Ranma's uniform."
Hiroshi asked, "She's running around without her
uniform!?!"
Daisuke frowned, "Only in our fantasies."
Nabiki waved, "Ciao! I'm off to spread the word about the
new dress code!"
Before she disappeared into the crowd, Kaneda called out,
"What's happening?! What did you do, Nabiki!?!!"
She told him, "I followed the Yellow Brick Road, and saw
the Wizard of Ozu!" And just as he lost sight of her, she
added, "A ninja computer wizard!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
As Kaneda and his friends headed towards the Assembly
Hall with the rest of the jostling crowd, he asked, "What
do you know about what's going on?!"
Daisuke said, "Your sister is responsible, and she didn't
tell you anything? Close family."
Hiroshi said, "Give Kaneda a break; you know what his
sister's like. It keeps him from being charged with
anything." Then he said to the little brother, "Rumor has
it that they did a computer search, and brought somebody
in to replace Mr. Touno. He was out of here as soon as he
got the forms."
Kaneda had to ask, "Who's Mr. Touno?"
Hiroshi told him, "Touno was the acting headmaster for
Furinkan!"
Daisuke said, "It's no wonder you didn't know who he was.
He kept to himself."
Hiroshi said, "Yeah! They say he took the samurai Spartan
thing mucho seriously."
Daisuke nodded, "He would ALWAYS walk around without
shoes, even in winter. He would hit a rock with his sword
over and over in the same spot until he broke it. He
would stand under EVERY waterfall he came to for
hours..."
Hiroshi agreed, "A real masochist."
Kaneda said, "It sounds like we were lucky he didn't make
US do those kinds of things."
Daisuke said, "Then he'd have been a sadist, as well."
Hiroshi said in lowered voice, looking around, "They SAY
Touno's the reason there are so many jocks running loose
around here. He wanted Furinkan to turn out warriors."
Daisuke said, "And he looked for ways to ACT like
warriors."
Kaneda stopped, "Are, are you saying THAT'S why I've been
in all those fights!?! Thanks for telling me, now!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
When they got to Assembly Hall, they found that the seats
in the back had been taken. If they were to remain
together, they would have to sit near the front.
Meanwhile, Kaneda was looking around for Ranma, either
one.
Sitting second row, the furthest from the center aisle,
Hiroshi was listening to the conversations around them.
Hiroshi said, "Did you hear that? The teachers don't like
getting a new acting headmaster. They're afraid the REAL
headmaster will find out and come back!"
Daisuke said, "Where has he been? Nobody seems to know
who the real headmaster is? And what is FURINKAN, his
little fiefdom?"
Kaneda asked, "Do you see Ranma?" With that red shirt, he
would've thought Ranma would be easy to spot, girl or
guy.
Hiroshi said, "That headmaster must be one really bad
dude to have a bunch of teachers spooked."
Daisuke said, "That must be why he IS headmaster."
Hiroshi said, "Yeah, he out-intimidates the
Intimidators."
Daisuke said, "I don't get that intimidated by teachers."
Not that he'd admit, anyway.
Kaneda said, "I hope Ranma hasn't skipped school again."
He told his friends, "You know, in Japan, only elementary
and junior high is mandatory. They can't make you go to
high school."
Daisuke said, "Tell that to my parents."
Hiroshi said, "I'm just glad mine don't send me to cram
school or worse."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Hiroshi looked at his watch, "What's taking so long!?!
These kinds of assemblies are only supposed to take 25
minutes!"
Daisuke said, "You tell me. You're the one who likes to
eavesdrop."
Kaneda said, "Damn! Ranma has GOT to have bailed again!
How am I going to keep her in school!?"
Hiroshi had a fast ear. Turning them first this way, then
that, he reported, "The rumors are the teachers aren't
unhappy JUST about getting a new acting headmaster."
Kaneda crossed his arms, and slumped down in his chair.
"Why are we saying "headmaster", and not principal?"
He was sitting on Ranma's uniform.
Daisuke had a suggestion, "Because the guy's going to
mess with our heads? That's what school's all about,
isn't it."
Hiroshi said, "I haven't found out what the problem is,
yet. All of the new guy's records they keep in the
computers are supposed to be okay. But they left some
things out of the records."
Daisuke commented, "Hmmph! Okay for a headmaster. That
doesn't mean they're okay for us. Maybe they chose the
guy because he's WORSE than the real headmaster."
Kaneda was finally listening to what his friends were
saying, "Why would Nabiki want to do that!??" Suddenly he
had a very bad feeling. "--Some things were left out!?!"
Even a spider can get caught in her own web.
The audience stirred and sat up straighter. One of the
teachers had walked onto the stage. It was Kaneda's
history teacher, Mr. Fujiwara, the eldest teacher at
Furinkan. He slammed the book he always carried down on
the podium. Like a gavel, it brought a quiet to the
auditorium.
Mr. Fujiwara said, "Before your new acting-headmaster is
introduced I have a few announcements to make." It was
hard to hear the old man's voice because he hadn't turned
the mike on, but everybody wanted to hear. "By agreement
between the new administrator and faculty: (A) Furinkan
will continue to emphasize sports." There was a mixture
or cheers and groans at that news. "But," he got a sour
face at this part, "there will be greater emphasis on
girls' sports." Here, there were more groans than cheers.
"(B) The dress code will NOT be changed. All students
will attend school in the their prescribed uniform." No
one cheered this news; the only groans were from the few
who had believed Nabiki.
Kaneda said, "So much for that part of Nabiki's grand
scheme. It doesn't look good for the rest of it."
Mr. Fujiwara continued, "And (C) free time between
classes will change from five minutes, and immediately
return to the NORMAL ten minutes." There was a great
cheer at this news. That meant LESS class time, more
goofing off time! And it was something the teachers had
wanted, too.
When the noise had died down, the teacher picked up his
book from the podium. "And now, the new
acting -headmaster."
A little girl in a yellow dress hopped, skipped and
bounced onto stage. Giving a big wave, she greeted them
with, "Hello, Everybody! My name is Miss Hinako
Ninomiya!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kaneda, Hiroshi, Daisuke--Nobody could believe that this
little kid was going to be their new principal!
Ignoring the stunned silence, little Miss Hinako leaned
forward, and wagging a finger, said, "I hope you all will be
GOOD boys and girls!"
Not only was she a little kid, she acted like a little
kid! A cutsey one!
She straightened up, "Because if you're not--I PUNISH
naughty, naughty children!"
What??! THIS kawaii elementary schoolgirl was going to
punish THEM!??! Power had already gone to her head.
Furinkan High WAS somebody's little kingdom, and his
little princess daughter had taken over!
Miss Hinako said confidently, "Now I know you don't
believe me! But I I've already cleaned up TWO reform
schools!"
Reform schools? What did she do, kill them with cavities?
Kaneda had heard of some STRANGE martial arts techniques.
Maybe she had filled the schools up with sugar and then
flooded them with water until the delinquents were
trapped in the heavy syrup.
No, she had said "cleaned up".
Kaneda started to imagine techniques that involved
household cleansers. She WAS at the age where girls liked
to play house, wasn't she?
Suddenly the silence was broken when a girl stood up in
the front row a section across from where Kaneda sat.
When he saw who it was, HE almost rose out of his seat.
Nabiki asked, "Miss Hinako, will you recognize special
exceptions to the dress code? ...Like, say, Chinese
clothes?"
Somebody cried out in surprise: "OH-W-Oww!!" It was
Ranma-chan jumping out of the audience like somebody had
goosed her. She landed near Nabiki. The girl in the Chinese
clothes was still dripping wet.
She confronted the wise acre sister, "Hey!! Don't try and
help me!"
Miss Hinako said, "Oh, that is just not RIGHT! You don't
look like a proper young lady at all!"
Ranma-chan turned to and looked up onto the stage,
"That's because I'm NOT a proper lady at all!!"
Miss Hinako had her long sleeves up in front of her
mouth; wide-eyed she asked, "Does that mean you admit to
being a delinquent?"
Ranma-chan cried, "Of COURSE not!!"
Miss Hinako frowned, "You SOUND like a delinquent! Only
delinquents yell at their elders!"
Nabiki explained, "Please understand, Miss Hinako," She
did a brief turn to address the auditorium as well,
"...and everybody. Ranma has special problems. You see,
her father craved a son so badly he refused to accept her as
a girl. Ranma has been raised to believe she was, in fact, a
guy, and...." She did her melodramatic turn again, "Well, it's
a common enough tale in Japanese literature. I'm sure
you've heard them."
There WERE stories like that. And knowledge of them
brought murmurs and nods of agreement that it was
possible. Both girls and guys voiced their sympathy.
Quiet a few said they'd like to help the poor, confused
girl.
Ranma-chan cried, "That's a LIE! I AM a guy!!"
Nabiki said in her level serious voice, "Then why does
ALL your computer records, and most of your paper ones,
from your birth certificate on, show that you are, and
always HAVE been a girl."
Ranma-chan cried, "They do not!!"
Nabiki smirked, triumphantly, as she was finally able to
reveal, "They do now. Ranma Saotome as a male officially
exists only as a deluded fantasy. Welcome to MY gender.
Checkmate."
Miss Hinako blinked, " "Ranma Saotome", you say? WHY that
was the name on the forms I got assigning me to this
school. Ranma Saotome is my special project!"
The End of this chapter
[For those who asked, "Checkmate" means "Same sex
means no marriage." The way for their mating is checked.
Ranma as a girl can't be engaged to another girl. But Kei
can.]
[I am not forcing Ranma to be a girl. Unlike other stories,
Ranma is free to be a guy or a girl; he is only officially a
girl, now. Kei isn't. Ranma and Kaneda are only being forced
to come to terms with their girl halves so they can come to an
agreement about who will be the girl. With their girl bodies
come girl brains; they can adjust to being girls just as much
as they allow themselves to.]
[Besides hacking, Zyunzi Ozu used his computer skills to
figure out how to best use his ninja skills. What records his
computer couldn't change, his burglary ones could.]
["Tomobiki" means "Friend-Pulling", which is why you do
NOT want to hold a funeral on that day, but DO want to
hold a wedding. That's why it is a VERY bad luck day for
Ranma.]
[You can't date these stories from the title. Because I
like this title, the calendar in this alternativerse is
out of sync with ours.]