Part 12a – Sitting On A Throne With A Broken Crown And No Toilet Paper
Max Evans had split away from the rest of his group of ragtag fools. Deciding to immediately kiss his girlfriend's as… um, to immediately inform his girlfriend of his return, he headed to the Crashdown that night.
Is night right for story continuity? Are you all paying attention to continuity?
If so, you are truly sad in the Conan O'Brien sort of way.
Slowly entering the establishment that mocks his heritage he swiftly maneuvers to Liz, his girlfriend *coughsoulmateBuffyAngelsickcrapthatannoysusmorethanDawson
andJoeyanddammitweallknowJoeyandPaceyaremuchbettertogether
butnowehavedumblittleteenqueensouttheredemandingthisstupid
assstorylinesoofcourseitsgiventotheirpopcultureairheadbrain
washedminionscough* while actually keeping away from Maria, though she did see him. Pay attention, this is mentioned in another part, don't want you to fall behind.
Max, having been stuck in a car for days with the dysfunctional boyfriend twins had been corrupted, and thus the first words he spoke to Liz after having not seen her for… however long this fic has dragged on, were these immortally stupid words. "Hey baby, how's it shakin'?"
(Story) No way would he say that, no matter now much time he spent around the others.
(Author) Story, shuddup. It's not too late for me to c&p that horrid TPM tag of graphic and nasty Anakin/Padme sex in here. Would you like me to do that?
(Story) *retching at the image* Sorry.
(Author) Good.
Liz, being a blonde with really dark hair, was happy for this soul mate comment and spun around and wrapped her arms around Max and proceeded to suck his face.
(Story) *phew* Close one.
(Author) *glares*
Anyway, she sucked his face, they made those annoying lovey dovey eyes, he asked her how she was, she said fine, she asked how he was, he said he survived the annoying guys and that the trip was eventful but he didn't want to talk about it. She, being the p-whipped girl she was…
(Story) I may regret this, but guys are "p-whipped", not women. Remember?
(Author) Well, I was thinking they were "pistol" whipped, get it?
(Story) Why do I even bother? That's it, I quit, I'm going on strike for the rest of part 12. I hope you misspell everything, that the characters kill you and… and I hope you pass a kidney stone the size of a basketball!
(Author) *groans in pain* I Hate You.
ANYWAY, being the loving girlfriend she was she just accepted what he said without question or thought, but really, when to women really think that much when it comes to men? Or anything else for that matter.
(Author) I dare you to say something story. I dare you.
(Story) ….
(Author) Wuss.
So, after making out and all that crap that the oh so annoying couple do, Max left for home to have a good night's sleep…
But the Author would have none of that, and as such manipulated things to cause an interesting morning.
SCENE: At home, Max is in the bathroom unbeknownst to his sister who thinks the Royal Pain is still in bed. Though she's planning on tormenting him about his trip, she wanted to get the hot water first so she barges into the bathroom while yelling towards Max's room "MAX, I'm hitting the shower, I'll make sure you have some cold water left!"
Well, when she looked into the bathroom what did she see but her brother… with his pants around his ankles… and her moisturizing hand cre… erm, lotion on the counter… and his hands holding his *CENSORED*. "ISABEL, DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO KNOCK!"
"Oh my God Max, that's so disgusting! And that's my hand lotion, oh gross."
"Isabel, it's not what it looks like… really. I was just, I had this nightmare okay? I dreamt I had lost a testicle and it scared me, and this morning I ran in here to check. Like Tom Green said, you know, to check them… I just wanted to be sure they were there."
"Oh Max that is sick, and I mean, for God's sake put it away for one thing. And I SO DO NOT NEED TO KNOW about what you were doing, God I'm traumatized for life. I'm going to have to have Tess destroy this memory. Ew, I mean."
"Isabel, really, I wasn't… doing that, I was just, checking to be sure I had both my nuts. Come here and feel if you don't believe me."
"NO! I can attest that you're nuts from here. And with my lotion, you are so buying me new lotion. Oh god I'm gonna hurl, I have to leave. And Max, don't forget to take that picture of Liz with you. I'm going to tell mom."
"What picture? Oh $#!%. IZZY THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" With that he tried to waddle after her, forgetting to pick up his pants as she went retching into the hall calling for their mom.
"MOM, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR SON WAS DOING WITH MY HAND LOTION?"
With those words in his head Max Evans slumped his head in defeat, locked the bathroom door and went in for a cold, cold, cold and yes, cold shower. All the while, he wondered why he kept feeling like he was alternating between an Almond Joy and an Almond Mounds. Sometimes feeling like he had the nuts, and sometimes he don't.
It wasn't until later he found out he forgot to get a towel… and there was no toilet paper… and his pants were covered in the hand cre… LOTION, HAND LOTION.
After these events he considered just sitting on his throne and doing like another Great King had done… and dying on his porcelain throne.
Elvis has left the building, Max has left the building, their pants, however, are loose in the building.
Max Evans had split away from the rest of his group of ragtag fools. Deciding to immediately kiss his girlfriend's as… um, to immediately inform his girlfriend of his return, he headed to the Crashdown that night.
Is night right for story continuity? Are you all paying attention to continuity?
If so, you are truly sad in the Conan O'Brien sort of way.
Slowly entering the establishment that mocks his heritage he swiftly maneuvers to Liz, his girlfriend *coughsoulmateBuffyAngelsickcrapthatannoysusmorethanDawson
andJoeyanddammitweallknowJoeyandPaceyaremuchbettertogether
butnowehavedumblittleteenqueensouttheredemandingthisstupid
assstorylinesoofcourseitsgiventotheirpopcultureairheadbrain
washedminionscough* while actually keeping away from Maria, though she did see him. Pay attention, this is mentioned in another part, don't want you to fall behind.
Max, having been stuck in a car for days with the dysfunctional boyfriend twins had been corrupted, and thus the first words he spoke to Liz after having not seen her for… however long this fic has dragged on, were these immortally stupid words. "Hey baby, how's it shakin'?"
(Story) No way would he say that, no matter now much time he spent around the others.
(Author) Story, shuddup. It's not too late for me to c&p that horrid TPM tag of graphic and nasty Anakin/Padme sex in here. Would you like me to do that?
(Story) *retching at the image* Sorry.
(Author) Good.
Liz, being a blonde with really dark hair, was happy for this soul mate comment and spun around and wrapped her arms around Max and proceeded to suck his face.
(Story) *phew* Close one.
(Author) *glares*
Anyway, she sucked his face, they made those annoying lovey dovey eyes, he asked her how she was, she said fine, she asked how he was, he said he survived the annoying guys and that the trip was eventful but he didn't want to talk about it. She, being the p-whipped girl she was…
(Story) I may regret this, but guys are "p-whipped", not women. Remember?
(Author) Well, I was thinking they were "pistol" whipped, get it?
(Story) Why do I even bother? That's it, I quit, I'm going on strike for the rest of part 12. I hope you misspell everything, that the characters kill you and… and I hope you pass a kidney stone the size of a basketball!
(Author) *groans in pain* I Hate You.
ANYWAY, being the loving girlfriend she was she just accepted what he said without question or thought, but really, when to women really think that much when it comes to men? Or anything else for that matter.
(Author) I dare you to say something story. I dare you.
(Story) ….
(Author) Wuss.
So, after making out and all that crap that the oh so annoying couple do, Max left for home to have a good night's sleep…
But the Author would have none of that, and as such manipulated things to cause an interesting morning.
SCENE: At home, Max is in the bathroom unbeknownst to his sister who thinks the Royal Pain is still in bed. Though she's planning on tormenting him about his trip, she wanted to get the hot water first so she barges into the bathroom while yelling towards Max's room "MAX, I'm hitting the shower, I'll make sure you have some cold water left!"
Well, when she looked into the bathroom what did she see but her brother… with his pants around his ankles… and her moisturizing hand cre… erm, lotion on the counter… and his hands holding his *CENSORED*. "ISABEL, DON'T YOU KNOW HOW TO KNOCK!"
"Oh my God Max, that's so disgusting! And that's my hand lotion, oh gross."
"Isabel, it's not what it looks like… really. I was just, I had this nightmare okay? I dreamt I had lost a testicle and it scared me, and this morning I ran in here to check. Like Tom Green said, you know, to check them… I just wanted to be sure they were there."
"Oh Max that is sick, and I mean, for God's sake put it away for one thing. And I SO DO NOT NEED TO KNOW about what you were doing, God I'm traumatized for life. I'm going to have to have Tess destroy this memory. Ew, I mean."
"Isabel, really, I wasn't… doing that, I was just, checking to be sure I had both my nuts. Come here and feel if you don't believe me."
"NO! I can attest that you're nuts from here. And with my lotion, you are so buying me new lotion. Oh god I'm gonna hurl, I have to leave. And Max, don't forget to take that picture of Liz with you. I'm going to tell mom."
"What picture? Oh $#!%. IZZY THIS ISN'T WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!" With that he tried to waddle after her, forgetting to pick up his pants as she went retching into the hall calling for their mom.
"MOM, DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR SON WAS DOING WITH MY HAND LOTION?"
With those words in his head Max Evans slumped his head in defeat, locked the bathroom door and went in for a cold, cold, cold and yes, cold shower. All the while, he wondered why he kept feeling like he was alternating between an Almond Joy and an Almond Mounds. Sometimes feeling like he had the nuts, and sometimes he don't.
It wasn't until later he found out he forgot to get a towel… and there was no toilet paper… and his pants were covered in the hand cre… LOTION, HAND LOTION.
After these events he considered just sitting on his throne and doing like another Great King had done… and dying on his porcelain throne.
Elvis has left the building, Max has left the building, their pants, however, are loose in the building.