Part 12i – Hard Luck Alien
Kyle Valenti, the one, the only, the hot piece of male as… (Author shakes head, okay, must step away from the homoerotic speaking for juuuuust a moment, where's my bloody Maxim…)
*cough*
Kyle Valenti went home, finding his dad there he said hi and tried to escape to sleep… unfortunately that wasn't the case. His father actually had a clue.
"Son, sit your ass down and explain what happened out there. NOW!" THE SHERIFF said (come on, he has to be in all Caps, he's like Superdude of somethin'). "And don't even think of leaving anything out."
Defeatedly, Kyle sat down and as countless children have done to their parents since the beginning of time… he told his "version" of what happened. And all in one breath without pause.
"Wellwealldecidedthatsinceourgirlfriendsweregoingtobe,you
know,PMS'ingthatperhapsweshould,youknowevacuatethearea,okay,
thestate.SowewentontheroadtripwhichYOUgavemepermissiontodo,
justrememberthatandthenwehadcartroublelateronandwehavetoearn
somemoneytopayfortherepairssoafterwedidthe"job"wewentbackto
drivingandthenweirdthingshappenedlikeMaxbustingaguy'snutwith
abaseballandthenhavingtogotothePromwithherbecauseitwasher
datehedeballedandthenwewereinCaliforniawherewemetamegahotas,
er,veryLovelygirlwhoalsoisavampireslayerandwemetavampireand
thenitgotweirdandtherewasacommentfromAlexaboutherSexyassand
thenwewererunningforourlivesandstoppedinthisbarfullof
transvestitesbutwedidn'tknowthatatthetimesowe,um,satandhadas
lightdrink,really,andthesegirls,orsowethought,askedMichael
andmetodanceandhedemandedIdoitso,notwantingtopissoffthealien
Idid,meanwhileAlexandMaxarechattingitupwithsomeguysindragand
nextthingIknowthere'sabarroombrawlandthechicksMichaelandI
weredancingwithturnedouttobeguysandthenwebothpukedonthefloor
andjoinedthefightandwefoughtourwayoutandthenwespedoffdownthe
roadwherewegotarrestedforspeedingandthenIcalledyouandyouknow
therest." Kyle said all that without taking one single breath. So when he finished, he passed out.
Jim THE SHERIFF Valenti tried to decide between laughing himself silly or punishing his son. Figuring that Tess would punish him enough, plus the fact he felt so sorry for him he couldn't do more to him, he decided to let him go. But first, he had to see if his son would fess up to what Tess mentioned. So, leaning down to his son's ear he whispered "Tess, put some clothes on. Kyle shouldn't see you naked." And Jim almost got his nose broken when Kyle's head popped up and started looking around.
"Huh, wha, where, huh, what?" Spoke Kyle *coughJOCKcough* as he searched the room for his girlfriend naked. Finding she wasn't there he sighed disappointedly.
"Okay son, I'll let you go this time. You're only young once, so this is your one and only get out of jail free card. Literally! But one more question, what did you all do to pay off the car repairs?" Jim had a good idea what.
"Thanks dad… and, I'd rather not talk about what happened. We've all sworn to secrecy about it. We'd sooner confess to being aliens or watchers of "The View" than mention what happened."
"Very well son. But if you want to talk, let me know."
"Sure thing dad." With that, Kyle sighed. And, unbeknownst to him, his girlfriend was in her bedroom (formerly his, though he's more than willing to share) listening in and barely containing her laughted. She couldn't wait to tell Maria what had happened.
"Hey Buddha Boy, I missed you. And I won't even punish you for running out like you did." Said the Goddess… um, sorry, said Tess. Of course, her fingers were crossed behind her back. She was soooo going to screw him over (though we all know he'd be happy with any scr *smack* OW, okay okay, sorry, didn't mean to get near crossing the line).
"Thanks my Hot Alien Mama. It was all the other guy's idea you know? They just drug me along, and peer pressure… I just couldn't say no."
"That's okay baby, I understand completely." 'Yeah right,' she thought, 'it was probably your lame ass idea. That's okay, I know about the stripping and the gay transvestites. Maria and I are going to make yours' and Michael's lives so miserable.'
"Thank you. I missed you so much," he said as he leaned in and kissed her gently. 'Yep,' he realized, 'I'm in love, how pathetic… oh well, at least she's a megababehottiehottie.'
"So, what happened on your little trip?" Tess baited, let's see what he'll say. Oh, she was going to hang him, humiliate him and then hug and cuddle him.
"Oh, nothing much. Just some guy bondage is all."
"Bondage? You guys were in leather with metal studs and whips?"
"Um, almost. *cough* No, not close, really, we just become closer friends. Really, we got real close." Kyle, was sunk.
Raising an eyebrow and wondering just how close was "real close" she gave him a smile. "Okay, well, get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow. I'm spending the night with Maria."
"Thanks babe, I'll see you tomorrow."
And with that, Kyle Valenti drifted off to dreams…
Dreams of the Village People…
Naked…
And himself naked…
Doing "YMCA" with them…
Then doing a nude Macarena…
Then the Little Man From Another Place walked by and spoke, saying, ".gnimoc era sfrumS eht dna mees yeht tahw ton era slwO ehT"
Then a Smurf walked by holding a piece of wood shaped like Alex…
Then the dream shifted to his normal pornographic ones about Tess and Jodi Ann Patterson nude on treadmills…
Kyle Valenti, the one, the only, the hot piece of male as… (Author shakes head, okay, must step away from the homoerotic speaking for juuuuust a moment, where's my bloody Maxim…)
*cough*
Kyle Valenti went home, finding his dad there he said hi and tried to escape to sleep… unfortunately that wasn't the case. His father actually had a clue.
"Son, sit your ass down and explain what happened out there. NOW!" THE SHERIFF said (come on, he has to be in all Caps, he's like Superdude of somethin'). "And don't even think of leaving anything out."
Defeatedly, Kyle sat down and as countless children have done to their parents since the beginning of time… he told his "version" of what happened. And all in one breath without pause.
"Wellwealldecidedthatsinceourgirlfriendsweregoingtobe,you
know,PMS'ingthatperhapsweshould,youknowevacuatethearea,okay,
thestate.SowewentontheroadtripwhichYOUgavemepermissiontodo,
justrememberthatandthenwehadcartroublelateronandwehavetoearn
somemoneytopayfortherepairssoafterwedidthe"job"wewentbackto
drivingandthenweirdthingshappenedlikeMaxbustingaguy'snutwith
abaseballandthenhavingtogotothePromwithherbecauseitwasher
datehedeballedandthenwewereinCaliforniawherewemetamegahotas,
er,veryLovelygirlwhoalsoisavampireslayerandwemetavampireand
thenitgotweirdandtherewasacommentfromAlexaboutherSexyassand
thenwewererunningforourlivesandstoppedinthisbarfullof
transvestitesbutwedidn'tknowthatatthetimesowe,um,satandhadas
lightdrink,really,andthesegirls,orsowethought,askedMichael
andmetodanceandhedemandedIdoitso,notwantingtopissoffthealien
Idid,meanwhileAlexandMaxarechattingitupwithsomeguysindragand
nextthingIknowthere'sabarroombrawlandthechicksMichaelandI
weredancingwithturnedouttobeguysandthenwebothpukedonthefloor
andjoinedthefightandwefoughtourwayoutandthenwespedoffdownthe
roadwherewegotarrestedforspeedingandthenIcalledyouandyouknow
therest." Kyle said all that without taking one single breath. So when he finished, he passed out.
Jim THE SHERIFF Valenti tried to decide between laughing himself silly or punishing his son. Figuring that Tess would punish him enough, plus the fact he felt so sorry for him he couldn't do more to him, he decided to let him go. But first, he had to see if his son would fess up to what Tess mentioned. So, leaning down to his son's ear he whispered "Tess, put some clothes on. Kyle shouldn't see you naked." And Jim almost got his nose broken when Kyle's head popped up and started looking around.
"Huh, wha, where, huh, what?" Spoke Kyle *coughJOCKcough* as he searched the room for his girlfriend naked. Finding she wasn't there he sighed disappointedly.
"Okay son, I'll let you go this time. You're only young once, so this is your one and only get out of jail free card. Literally! But one more question, what did you all do to pay off the car repairs?" Jim had a good idea what.
"Thanks dad… and, I'd rather not talk about what happened. We've all sworn to secrecy about it. We'd sooner confess to being aliens or watchers of "The View" than mention what happened."
"Very well son. But if you want to talk, let me know."
"Sure thing dad." With that, Kyle sighed. And, unbeknownst to him, his girlfriend was in her bedroom (formerly his, though he's more than willing to share) listening in and barely containing her laughted. She couldn't wait to tell Maria what had happened.
"Hey Buddha Boy, I missed you. And I won't even punish you for running out like you did." Said the Goddess… um, sorry, said Tess. Of course, her fingers were crossed behind her back. She was soooo going to screw him over (though we all know he'd be happy with any scr *smack* OW, okay okay, sorry, didn't mean to get near crossing the line).
"Thanks my Hot Alien Mama. It was all the other guy's idea you know? They just drug me along, and peer pressure… I just couldn't say no."
"That's okay baby, I understand completely." 'Yeah right,' she thought, 'it was probably your lame ass idea. That's okay, I know about the stripping and the gay transvestites. Maria and I are going to make yours' and Michael's lives so miserable.'
"Thank you. I missed you so much," he said as he leaned in and kissed her gently. 'Yep,' he realized, 'I'm in love, how pathetic… oh well, at least she's a megababehottiehottie.'
"So, what happened on your little trip?" Tess baited, let's see what he'll say. Oh, she was going to hang him, humiliate him and then hug and cuddle him.
"Oh, nothing much. Just some guy bondage is all."
"Bondage? You guys were in leather with metal studs and whips?"
"Um, almost. *cough* No, not close, really, we just become closer friends. Really, we got real close." Kyle, was sunk.
Raising an eyebrow and wondering just how close was "real close" she gave him a smile. "Okay, well, get some sleep and I'll see you tomorrow. I'm spending the night with Maria."
"Thanks babe, I'll see you tomorrow."
And with that, Kyle Valenti drifted off to dreams…
Dreams of the Village People…
Naked…
And himself naked…
Doing "YMCA" with them…
Then doing a nude Macarena…
Then the Little Man From Another Place walked by and spoke, saying, ".gnimoc era sfrumS eht dna mees yeht tahw ton era slwO ehT"
Then a Smurf walked by holding a piece of wood shaped like Alex…
Then the dream shifted to his normal pornographic ones about Tess and Jodi Ann Patterson nude on treadmills…