Ranma & Kaneda
By Ron Dow75
18: Atypical Chapter
[This is loosely based on atypical Episode Six.]
In Dr. Tofu's office, only the small, redhaired girl in
black-with-red-trim, pajama-like Chinese clothes was
sitting. But she wasn't sitting comfortably:
Ranma-chan's head was sharply cricked to the left.
But it was Dr. Tofu that was more bent, psychologically.
"Progestin! Oral contraceptives! You know as an
acupuncturist, I normally don't approve of pills--Ha, ha!
Especially ones that are illegal in this country! Good
thing I'm also a GP with connections!"
Kaneda looked at his older sister accusingly. Kasumi
acted as if she didn't have a clue about what was going
on. "Doctor, you said we shouldn't tell Kaneda's about
his birth control pills!"
But the longhaired redhead knew she really wasn't really
to blame; it was just the years of frustration over his
coach and mentor being taken from him every time she
showed up. Then he became somebody that was hard to
admire. He muttered to himself, "Why does this have to
happen to every generation of his family, until the
astrological signs are right for--" Suddenly it
registered with him what was being said, "Birth control!!
ME!!?!"
Dr. Tofu bowed to Kaneda, "Congratulations! You'll soon
be a mother!"
Kaneda cried, "MOTHER!!?!"
The man in the black martial arts gi grasped his hand and
pumped it violently up and down, "Or father!" He smiled
over at his other patient, "Isn't that right, Ranma-
chan?!"
Ranma-chan nearly straightened her neck at this news:
"WHA--OW!!"
Dr. Tofu was already ignoring them as he went to tell
Kasumi, "Isn't the red string a thing of wonder and a
joy?!"
Kasumi told him, "Doctor, that is ALSO something that was
best kept a secret."
Ranma-chan stood up, demanding, "If I'm gonna have a kid,
I think the doctor should tell me about it!!" Under other
circumstances Ranma-chan wouldn't have let herself get
bothered by the idea she could become pregnant; the idea
would've just been to far-removed from his normal sense
of maleness. But ever since she'd arrived at the Tendous,
things had seemed to be snowballing out of hand. She had
even gotten brief strange feelings that could've been
female.
Kaneda said, "You don't mean, uh, now, do you."
Dr. Tofu took the bony hands of his skeleton Beti and
looked her in the eye sockets, "Ah, the red string: Love
before first sight! No matter how far separated in space
and time, it draws together those predestined to be in
love, binding them even after death."
Ranma-chan looked sideways at the tall, muscular Kaneda,
"I ain't marryin' an idiot just because some dumb
folklore says I'm destined to!" Ranma didn't know that
the concept had become an enchanted object. Though, one
she wasn't wearing at the moment.
The ponytailed Doctor was going on as if he hadn't heard,
"...Maybe your true love will be a foreigner--Maybe from
America! --Or Samoa! Korea! China!" He kissed Beti's
metacarpals, "Ah, like bone china."
The pigtailed girl stammered, "Chi, China?"
(Kaneda stammered as well, "Wh, what about OUR love?? I
thought THAT was what was predestined!?!!")
Dr. Tofu remained lost behind the romantic glaze of his
glasses, "...Modern travel does allow ANYONE from your
many past lives to find you, now, doesn't it?" And he
celebrated by taking unhooking his skeleton from her
stand.
Ranma asked, "Just HOW many reincarnated lovers and
rivals do you expect to find me?!"
The Doctor who looked younger than he was danced with his
Beti, singing an oldie, "When you're not with the one you
love, love the one you're with..."
The primly dressed Kasumi could not stay mad at him, "Oh,
Doctor! You're so entertaining!"
It was clear to Kaneda that Dr. Tofu was no longer able
to provide any more intelligible answers. And Kasumi,
too, was succumbing to the spell that kept them declaring
their love.
Kaneda thought, A lot of good their red string seems to
do them. At least their screwed up courtship proved
Kasumi wasn't right for Ranma-chan. Doesn't it?
Ranma-chan cried, "I've had it! I'm outa this mental
clinic!" Pushing some hot water--Very hot--from the
carafe on the table, she splashed her face. And the
pigtailed guy was headed for the door.
Kaneda said, "Talk about a screwed up courtships!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
In his long-sleeved silk outfit Ranma-kun was "playing"
soccer with two 10-kg/20 lb. stones, bouncing them off a
large boulder half-embedded in the ground, catching them
with just his bare feet and kicking them back. Even as he
was doing that he was digging out another from the soft,
damp earth beside the river.
A voice up on the concrete levee said, "I would've
thought you would avoid being near water when you could."
His head still at a 90-degree angle to his neck caught
one of the stones so he could look at the speaker, "And
*I* would've thought you'd avoid bein' a girl when you
could."
The blackhaired Kane-chan told him, "I didn't think I
could. Not with what's happened to you today. I went back
and used the hot water dispenser in Dr. Tofu's office."
She'd also picked up a sheet that had covered one of the
Doctor's beds. This she'd wrapped around her sort of
sari-like to cover her badly torn Furinkan dress.
Ranma-kun tossed his stone into the other one he'd kept
kicking. The second stone bounced off of that and back at
the boulder. The first stone, Ranma-chan started kicking
again. He'd stopped looking at Kane-chan.
Kane-chan came down the large waffled slope of the levee,
"I bet even in this body I can pick up that large boulder
out of the ground and toss it into the river." Even she
knew it was a dumb thing to say, but she couldn't think
of anything else to start a conversation. It was the guy
in her.
The blackhaired pigtailed guy continued doing what he was
doing, unimpressed, "What a stupid idea. Don't you think
*I* couldn't've done that? *I* know enough about a
martial artist's responsibility NOT to throw things in
where a boat or diver might hit it."
Kane-chan felt the stab. Ranma-chan WAS more responsible
than she was. Her first impulse was to go on the
offensive: "Oh!? And so what do YOU do? You play games
with it. If it's such a hazard waiting to happen, why
don't you do something about it?"
Ranma-kun caught the first stone back on his instep,
"What would you have me do, break it up into small
pieces? Maybe with one finger, yet."
Kane-chan said, "Of course not with "one finger"!" She
watched as the second stone was stopped by Ranma-kun's
heel. But it's impact sent the first stone rolling up his
leg and body and practically into his hands. It only
reminded Kane-chan how much superior Ranma was. "But you
CAN break stones! You DO know how to do karate, don't
you!?!"
Ranma-kun seemed to think a moment, "Do I? Gee, why don't
you show me." And single-handedly, he tossed the stone he
held towards her.
Kane-chan used only one small hand to shove it back,
"Jerk!" Her aim was off.
Ranma-kun had misjudged the girl's ability. He had to
quickly try to bend his body and tilt his head to the
right to get out of the way of heavy stone. His injured
neck almost didn't allow him to get out of the way in
time. It glanced off his cheek and jaw.
Kane-chan was strong for a girl, but the stone just
missed making the short distance into the river.
Kane-chan asked, "Are you okay?!" She was concerned, but
more worried about the girl the guy became. Guys were
expected to be tougher than girls.
Ranma-kun was still standing, "Hnh! It'd take more 'n
that to phase me when I got my defenses up." Suddenly he
noticed the stiffness was gone, "Hunh??" He bent his neck
right and left and then again, "Hey, I'm cured."
Kane-chan's frown returned, "And more than just your
neck, I see. Why ARE you acting relaxed and confident,
now?" Since she'd found him by the river, this GUY wasn't
like the uptight, over-reactive girl Ranma-chan had been
lately.
Ranma-kun told her, "Because I'm a guy, now." He tugged
on his black Chinese shirt, "...Wearin' silk." He looked
out at the river. "It took this river to remind me. When
I came to all of this water, I nearly freaked out."
He turned to her, "But I realized that wasn't me. This
whole thing of isn't me." He kicked up a rock and caught
it. (Kaneda instinctively backed up a couple of steps.)
"I HAD thought I got my problem with bein' girl under
control on my trip back from China." He casually tossed
the 3-kg/6 lb. weight up and caught it. "Now, I think I
was just distracted by havin' to look over my shoulder
for something lavender, and all."
Kane-chan had to ask, "What??"
Ranma-kun shrugged broad shoulders, "All: The stuff that
happened on my way back from China."
Kane-chan thought that this might be a good time for
Ranma to be a girl, Then maybe her verbal skills would
be better. But being a girl WAS the problem her guy-half
was trying to deal with. Looking for something to say,
she said, "Uh...There are a lot of people in China."
Ranma-kun started walking down the shore with his rock,
"We stayed away from the cities. That was probably a
mistake."
Kane-chan still had to pull teeth, "So you didn't see
many people?"
Ranma-kun said, rolling it over and around in his hand,
"Oh, we saw people! ...Rural, traditional types. And you
couldn't help but let them see you."
Kane-chan said, "You, you mean as the girl?"
Ranma-kun hit the rock up into the air with his fist, "It
was Pop's way of checkin' to see if I stayed a guy
inside, I guess. Stupid Old Man, we were supposed to be
hiding."
Kane-chan watched Ranma-kun catch the rock in his palm.
"But instead you had everybody staring at you? And I bet
the women were the worse."
Ranma-kun glanced over his square shoulder, "Yeah, how'd
you know?"
Kane-chan knew. "When you're a girl, people don't look at
YOU. It's all about what you look like, act like on the
outside." That was one of many reasons she didn't like
being a girl.
Ranma-kun looked ahead again, "It made me feel doubly
foreign. So I guess I hid in plain sight, lettin' myself
think the girl body was a disguise or something."
Kane-chan nodded, "I can relate to that."
Ranma-kun said, "Then this will help you feel better,"
and he casually underhanded the rock.
The longhaired Kane-chan hurried away from the splash
from the river, "Hey!"
Ranma-kun smiled as he spun around and walked backwards,
"I thought you LIKED bein' a guy."
Kane-chan told him, "I'm a girl to make you feel better!"
Ranma-kun said, "Ha! I don't need you to make me feel
better." And he turned his back on her.
Kane-chan hurried after him, "Hey! Give me a chance!"
The longer-legged Ranma-kun jumped into an empty boat
tied up along the bank. "You have to catch me, first!"
Kane-chan pulled up her skirt and jumped before he could
get away in it. But Ranma-kun had already bounded out of
it.
Kane-chan leaped, too.
She hadn't looked. Too late, she saw that Ranma-kun had
landed on a lone pier rising out of the water.
Kane-chan tried to back-peddle her bare legs away from
the water. "WHO-OH!!"
Splash!
Ranma-kun's smile remained. He enjoyed the sight.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
His smile had dimmed a few minutes later when he was
walking the residential streets of Nerima. He even
fiddled a bit with the elastic bands on his sleeves. He
was used to them around his ankles.
Back in his Furinkan gray pants and white shirt, Kaneda
was close behind him. Again with nothing better to say,
he grumbled, "Now we're both guys."
Ranma-kun said, "Yep. ' Guess there's no reason to hang
around me."
The redhaired Kaneda could think of a couple, including,
You never know when you could become wet and the girl
again. At least now I have strong shoulders you can lean
on. Looking about for something to say, he saw the
golden brass arc over the traffic mirror at the corner
that let people see if there was a car coming. "I've got
an idea. How much money do you have on you?"
Ranma-kun said, "Why do you ask?"
Kaneda said, "Lend me some, because I'm starving."
Ranma-kun asked, "So am I. So why should I give you any
money?"
Kaneda told him, "Because you're staying for free at our
house?" That didn't really register with Ranma. It was as
Kaneda thought, Ranma-kun was used to his dad bumming
room and board for them wherever he could. Kaneda said,
"If you treat me, I'll treat you soon. I'm more likely to
have money than you, right?"
That did register with Ranma-kun, "I've worked."
Kaneda crossed his muscular arms, "I'm the son of martial
artists. ...PROUD martial artists."
Ranma-kun's mood soured some. It WAS true: Ranma HAD
worked before, and done things normally left to adults to
do. But a lot of them he had had to do behind his pop's
back. The Old Man had a list of things that were
undignified for a people of their station to be seen
doing. (Never mind some of the stupid things that WERE
okay for them to do in public. How many times had Pop
balanced Ranma on top of a "nimbus" ball as Ranma in a
Monkey King costume spun plates on the end of a pole in
front of a shop just for a couple of free dinners?) The
only exception to his anti-manual labor list was if it
could be made to look as if they were practicing their
martial arts. "Anything can be used as martial arts
practice!" Pop would then say out loud when somebody
wandered by.
And Kaneda had guessed that, too. "My Dad says Martial
Arts Lumberjacking, Ditch-digging, and Plumbing were
developed so people like us could keep our heads up."
There! Pop WAS too concerned about saving his ugly face.
Ranma could've have learned ALL of those by now, if he'd
been allowed to have a real job. Wasn't the IDEA of us
traveling for ten years was to learn different
techniques!?! The list was probably there just because
his pop was just too lazy to do hard work.
What Ranma didn't know was why Genma insisted on fooling
himself that he was an honorable man. It had to do with
the self-respect and reputation he'd lost as a young man
learning from the wrong master. And Genma being an orphan
without a family or heritage of his own hadn't helped,
either. Something else Ranma didn't know about.
Kaneda said, "Why do you think I'm developing Martial
Arts Carpentry? There's always the chance I could lose
the dojo."
Ranma-kun said, "Why HAVE a dojo? I was raised so I could
hire myself out."
Kaneda smiled a challenge, "Then you have the money?"
Feeling his pride as a guy at stake, Ranma-kun said, "How
much money do you need?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Ranma had enough for a several hamburgers and a couple of
shakes from the nearby Golden Arches. They'd taken the
bag out to the flagstone courtyard in a nearby park and a
bench around a tree. Ranma had to wonder again at how
uncrowded Nerima was compared to most urban places in
Japan. They were the only ones about.
Not looking at each other, they ate their hamburgers in
silence. That is they didn't talk to each other. They ate
as noisily as any normal couple of guys. By the time
they'd gotten to the shakes, they were listening to the
other one slurp and chew.
Kaneda won when he belched. In Japan, burping was a way
of expressing to your host that you appreciated the meal.
But the host only heard a belch. They were eating an
American-style meal, and Ranma-kun knew enough about
American customs to know what a belch meant to their
guys. He had been around military bases, and tourists,
too.
Frowning, Ranma crumpled up the wrapper from his burger,
and threw it for the waste can across the courtyard.
Kaneda then did the same.
Kaneda missed.
The longhaired guy got up and went over to the litter
he'd left on the ground. But he immediately returned to
the bench with it.
Sitting down, Kaneda aimed for the can, and got it in
this time. Two points.
Kaneda tried to look pleased. The can was so far away it
should been three points.
Ranma-kun said, "Whoopee."
The guy-Ranma wasn't allowing Kaneda to be pleased.
Kaneda took out the double cheeseburger from the bag
between them.
Ranma-kun said, "I ordered that."
Kaneda took a big bite out of it. He didn't bother
chewing it thoroughly. As soon as he could he forced it
down his throat with a loud gulp. "Whoopee. There are no
dibs."
Ranma-kun had watched the Adam's apple move, "I'll
remember that." He watched him take another large bite of
the cheeseburger. "So, you're on the pill."
Kaneda nearly choked to death. He'd only discovered this
afternoon that Kasumi had been slipping birth control
pills into his meals. It'd never occurred to him that he
might NEED something like that. The cheeseburger, in
pieces and inside a bun, fell on a very clean flagstone.
Ranma-kun at least waited until Kaneda's stopped being
blue in the face. "Aren't there side effects?"
Now Kaneda turned pale.
He whipped around, "No!! Do I look different from every
OTHER guy!?"
The pigtailed guy pretended to study him. Kaneda knew
he'd allowed the opening.
Ranma-kun said, "If I was interested, I'd ask about the
size of your--"
Kaneda told him, "It's thicker than yours, THAT much I
know! I saw yours when you took a bath that first day."
Ranma-kun quirked a smile, "So you ARE interested in
guys."
Kaneda made fists over his knees, "I am not!"
The guy in the black "pajamas" took the last burger in
the bag, "It's a good thing for you I try to keep in mind
you're a girl, not a guy."
Kaneda stifled his frustration. He had wanted it to be
the other way around! He didn't mind too much if Ranma-
chan was better at martial arts than he was (as if he had
much of a choice), but there HAD to be something that
would make her see him as a man!
Unwrapping, Ranma-kun asked, "So, any side effects?"
Kaneda was on his feet, talking down at the guy, "Not as
a girl, either! Dr. Tofu has examined me enough times to
know how LITTLE to give me. You HEARD him, it only has to
take care of a, uh, um... Of only a FEW of my guy cells!"
Ranma-kun finished what was in his mouth. Then, "Unless
an ova remains behind after the change and ends up in
their male counter part, the testicles."
Feeling suddenly deathly ill, Kaneda plopped back down on
the bench. "That...can...happen...?"
Ranma-kun shrugged a male shoulder, as he finished the
next bite. His mouth clear, "I really didn't pay that
much attention to the sex ed. lectures I hadda put up
with." He reached for his shake, "But it's funny what you
know when you have a good reason to know."
Kaneda stared, seeing nothing, "Why haven't I ever asked
Dr. Tofu for the details about what happens, or DOESN'T
happen, when I change?!"
Ranma-kun slurped the last of his shake. "Because you're
too much of a coward to want to know?"
Kaneda's blue eyes became more focused, "And you're not?
Have YOU let yourself be examined!? You KNOW unlike me
your base form is as the girl."
Ranma-kun refused to let the jerk get to him. "No it
ain't. I started out as a guy and stay a guy until I
hafta change."
Kaneda thought HE had the advantage, now, in this guy
contest, "Is: It is easier for you to be a girl than a
guy. Being a guy is what you change INTO."
Despite his promise to himself he wouldn't let things get
to him again, Ranma-kun's hand squashed what remained of
his burger. "That's not the way it works."
Kaneda smiled, "There's only one way to find out."
Ranma-kun frowned as he cleaned his hand with a paper
napkin. He tossed it in his shake container, and tossed
it, then all of his hamburger wrappers into the large bag
they'd come in. This he crumpled up into a large ball and
threw at the waste can.
He missed.
Ranma-kun got up, and walked to where the wadded up bag
had fallen. He kicked it up with his bare instep, and
bounced it off his knee into the can. One soccer point.
His senses noticed a familiar sound that seemed oddly out
of place. When Dr. Tofu came running by, Ranma-kun could
see the guy was acting more than just odd. He was
laughing as he gave his skeleton a piggyback ride.
But that wasn't enough. The man in the black martial arts
costume pulled the assembled bones from his back and
tossed it high in the air as he held on by one of its
hands. He leaped and spun and danced with her, never
letting her bony feet touch the ground.
Ranma-kun watched all of this in silence.
Ranma-kun turned to the guy embarrassed for his mentor,
"This is the guy I'm supposed to let examine me."
Kaneda defended his coach, "It ONLY happens when Kasumi's
around! You're not the ONLY one with a curse, you know!"
Ranma-kun said, "Uh, hunh. And what does he change into
when cold water gets him?"
Kaneda got up, leaving his litter behind, "It's true! Dr.
Tofu won't talk about it. But I got to talk to his mother
once when we visited her." Actually, Kaneda had followed
him out of worry when his couch had a particularly bad
case. Dr. Tofu thought Kasumi wanted invite him to party.
The girls were competing by bringing the best dates they
could get. Tofu had heard and built his hopes up. But
Kasumi didn't approve of the idea and didn't go. Not that
the Doctor ever found out his mistake.
Ranma-kun started walking, "And what excuse did his
mother give." It wasn't a question.
Kaneda continued on, "Mrs. Ono said that the same thing
happened to Dr. Tofu's father before they were married.
It happens to all of the men in his family whenever they
find the women with the right positive power."
Ranma-kun played along, "Power?"
Kaneda hurried to get ahead of him, "Magical Power! It's
the Law of Sympathy, or something like that. "Like
affects like"."
Ranma-kun said mildly sarcastically, "Oh, you know about
magic?"
Kaneda said, "I've lived with changing into a girl all of
my life. You don't think I'd want to find out why and
how?" And I certainly wasn't getting any answers from
Dad.
Ranma-kun accepted that.
Kaneda said, "I've studied what I could about magic. But
Dr. Tofu discouraged me from going very deep into it. He
says without the right protection, it's too dangerous."
Ranma-kun remained sarcastic, "The "right protection",
like HE has."
Kaneda slipped past the shorter Ranma-kun, "Yes! That's
what this whole deal with Kasumi is about. She has the
power Dr. Tofu needs."
Ranma-kun looked at the guy briefly, and in disbelief,
"Kasumi, your older sister, has a magic power?" He then
hopped the bushes beside the lane.
Kaneda told him, "She DOES!!" and leaped to follow Ranma-
kun on the grass. "Haven't you felt it?!"
Ranma-kun still wasn't buying it, "I guess I was too busy
lettin' my problem become my trouble."
Kaneda rushed to get in front of him, "She's got the
"Protection of the Innocent"."
Ranma-kun picked up his speed, "What I know about things,
being innocent doesn't protect you." He snorted, "Hnh! It
can be just the opposite."
Kaneda stopped to assert, "Not when you've got magic on
your side! And magic is all about the mental construct
you give it." He had to jog, now, "Kasumi uses her
strange interpretation of zen to give herself the "Bliss
of Ignorance". THAT'S when Dr. Tofu started acting like
he does around her!"
Ranma-kun saw a wall, and headed for it. "So, her magic
ignorance is protecting her from that guy."
It finally looked like Kaneda would get ahead of Ranma-
kun, "As best as I can figure it, Kasumi is like a
powerful river. Her bliss comes from the flow of the
routines she can find in her life. Her protection comes
because that flow is strong enough to sweep anything that
disturbs it down with its current."
Ranma-kun easily leaped over Kaneda's head. Kaneda had to
spin around. "Dr. Tofu is like a waterwheel: He uses
Kasumi's flow for HIS power!" Though she was probably
more like an auxiliary motor; Kaneda was sure the Doctor
had other sources of magic.
Ranma-kun stopped to crouch on the wall top, "Oh, right:
The crazier her acts, the more powerful he's getting.
Brother!"
Kaneda knew Ranma-kun was looking down on him, "Rivers
have swells--Surges! That's what happens when Kasumi gets
too close to him! There's just too much of her presence."
Ranma-kun shook his male head, and stood up, "She floods
his mind, and like a river, isn't aware of it. She can't
be "Ignorant" and "Blissful" all of the time."
Kaneda told him, "That's when the river is changing its
bank. Rivers are always meandering. But they're ALWAYS
flowing towards the same place, the sea. And after that--
"
Ranma-kun walked away, hands in his pockets, "Talk about
mental constructs. I think you're just scared to go
against your big sister."
Kaneda said, "Then I challenge YOU to stand up to her."
Ranma-kun said, " ' Sure will. The first time she wants
me to do something I don't."
Kaneda used his longer legs to catch up, "Just let me
know when you do. I want to be there to see it happen to
you, too."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
They didn't talk to each other for minutes more. Kaneda
finally said, "Speaking of silk."
Ranma-kun said, "I wasn't talkin' about anything. And I
ain't listenin'."
Kaneda said, "I know you can see flaws in me comparing
Kasumi to a river. But there are flaws in all magical
constructs. The magic of an idea only works as long as
you can make it work for you. THAT'S where your idea
about silk protecting you from getting pregnant comes in.
It may work for you, but it won't work for me, because I
can see the flaws in the logic."
The pigtailed guy continued on his walk along the walls,
"You're tryin' to get back at you for tryin' to ignore
you by pointin' out the flaws in my logic. ' Get me to
doubt that silk is be my talisman."
Kaneda said, "No!"
Ranma-kun squatted down to look him directly at the guy
with the stupid red hair, "Well it won't work. I'm too
stubborn. I'll believe what I want to believe no matter
what anybody's got to say. And now that I got my self-
confidence back, I can reinforce that with positive
energy. That's why I'm so good bein' martial artist."
Kaneda heard Ranma-kun's boast as a challenge. Fighting
against himself to respond to it, Kaneda said, "If I
WANTED you to get pregnant, I could keep repeating, "Your
body keeps more sperm cells than you think". If I say
that over and over again, your subconscious WILL start
letting it happen."
He hung his head, "Of course, that would mean I'd
probably convince my own before yours."
Ranma-kun said, " ' Shows how much confidence you have in
yourself." Then he laughed, "But thanks! I'll just keep
tellin' myself that ALL of the things stay where they're
supposed to stay."
Kaneda glared up at him, "That will only work once you
have the confidence to get over your silk fetish. ARE you
so sure in your ability to believe what you want to
believe? Any little doubt, and you WILL become pregnant."
WHAM! Kaneda HAD met the challenge. Ranma-kun was thrown.
Now to keep the guy in her off-balance, "Why not try for
something you can SEE. Get yourself to believe that you
DON'T have to change."
Angry, Ranma-kun speed up his travel along the walls, "I
know enough about magic to know that won't work. It
wasn't MY idea to keep changing into a girl."
Kaneda jogged after, "--Or mine!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kaneda asked, "We're stopping at the clinic again?"
Ranma-kun told him, "I forgot my schoolbag."
Kaneda realized, "So did I!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The panda stopped pacing the lobby when it saw Ranma-kun
come in. THEN it frowned even more when it saw Kaneda
come in behind him.
The black-and-white animal came up to Ranma and began to
lecture him about something, "Berao baru byoroa mummba,
rramaaru!"
Ranma-kun walked by it. "Geez, you'd think Pop'd use some
hot water to change back."
Kaneda coldly looked at it, "Maybe he likes being a
panda."
The huge animal swung its attention onto the outsider.
Kaneda met its beady gaze, "Do you feel man enough to
take me on?"
The panda held up a sign, [That's supposed to be Ranma's
line!]
Kaneda told it, "Ranma thinks I'm a girl."
The panda signed, [But you LOOK like a guy!!]
Kaneda thumbed his chest, "I'm every bit a guy as Ranma's
a girl! We DO have the same curse, you know."
The panda growled in frustration. It's claws twitched,
readying themselves for--
Ranma-kun poured a teakettle of hot water over it, "Leave
AKANE alone, Pop."
Genma told his son, pointing, "Did you HEAR what that boy
just said, Ranma!?! WHY do you let him get away with
treating you like that!?! Challenge him to a real man-to-
man fight and get this nonsense over with!!"
His bookbag over one shoulder, Ranma-kun pushed his old
man towards the door, "I'll explain things on the way
back."
Kaneda noticed that Ranma-kun had only his bookbag. And
there was also the matter of, "Hey, if Mr. Saotome works
here, who's going to close up the clinic?!"
The male teen said, "I guess you are. You DO like the
doctor." And he tossed Kaneda the teakettle, "Why don't
you make yourself pretty for him."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was sunset on another unusually beautiful April day in
Nerima. The first couple of days Ranma'd arrived with its
on-again-off-again rain and storms were typical for the
latitude Greater Tokyo was in this time of year. But
Ranma wasn't about to complain about this good spell of
weather, especially as long as he was under the bad spell
of Juusenkyo.
The man in the white gi, as usual, tried to do keep the
offensive, "Ranma, did you hear what that BOY said? He
asked me if I were MAN enough to take him on!"
Ranma-kun said, "Yeah, so?"
His sensei told his only student, "That's what YOU'VE got
to do! If he's got you thinking of him as a girl, then
challenge him THAT way. Be MAN enough to take her on that
way: Man-to-girl!"
Ranma-kun said, "That's just about the most disgusting
plans you've ever come up with, Pop. Even if Akane were a
girl all the time, I wouldn't do it. I've never been into
that whole boy/girl thing. YOU of all people should know
that."
Genma now had to regret the way he brought up his son,
now. If he hadn't had his own life ruined by an evil
gnome, then his approach as a father may have been
different. The last thing he had thought he wanted was to
have to deal with another pervert. "What am I to do with
you, Boy! You refuse to treat Soun's child as EITHER a
guy or a girl! How DO you intend to get rid of Kaneda?!"
The teenager asked casually, "If I get rid of Akane, what
will you do?"
Genma told him, "Why, I'd get you engaged to a fine,
proper young girl. Kasumi Tendou, for example. There's a
girl who knows how to be the traditional, ideal woman.
Let me do the matchmaking, and you don't have to know
ANYTHING about women."
Ranma-kun said, "There: YOU'RE the reason why I don't
want to get rid of Akane, yet. Why stop makin' you
unhappy. As long as she doesn't try to do anything when
she's a guy, I don't see the advantage of being rid of
her."
Genma said, "He's TRYING to make a girl out of you,
Boy!!"
Ranma-kun said, "Yeah, that WAS gettin' to me. I was even
startin' to forget she was really a girl." Then he said
more to himself, "But the curse is the curse! To forget
would be like sayin' I'm not a guy when I'm not." He
looked at his pop for the first time, "But I AIN'T gonna
forget!" It had the intensity of a vow.
He stopped on the bridge, "Look, Old Man, I realized
today that the whole, damned world can believe I'm a
girl, for all I care. It's ME who decides what I am. The
outside doesn't really matter. What if I'd fallin' in the
"Spring of Fat, Ugly, Bald Old Man"? Should I let myself
act like one?"
Genma said, "Of course not!" Only then did he suspect
he'd been insulted.
Ranma-kun was already looking ahead, at the goal he had
set for himself, "Bein' fat would be the worse part. As a
martial artist it'd gotta effect my skills. I'd have to
start a whole new trainin' program just to compensate."
Genma said, "Are you implying that I'm not at LEAST up to
your level as a martial artist. C'mon, Boy! I'll show you
just how fat this--"
Ranma-kun tripped his pop over the railing of the river's
bridge.
Splash!
The hard-muscled teen in the loose Chinese silk leaned
against the railing as he looked down at the panda,
"Bein' a girl most of the day at school HAS shown
there're gonna be times when I am in the girl-body. If I
have to go find some hot water so I can fight, it'd be
almost as bad as havin' to have a guy save me."
The panda swiped its paws up at the boy looking down at
it. It loudly dared him to a fight there and then.
The pigtailed guy cupped an ear, "What'd you say, Pop?!
Bein' a girl isn't on your list of things that'd be
undignified for me to do?!" He took his hand away, and
raised it in a half-salute that turned into a good-bye
gesture, "I'll remember to keep it lookin' like I'm
learnin' new fightin' techniques!" He grinned, "After
all: ANYTHING can be turned into martial arts trainin'!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The sun still hadn't set when Kaneda walked in the front
gate. He found the redhaired Ranma-chan going through her
katas out in the area of sand in front of the dojo. He
watched her for a few minutes. She had the cutest face
and body he'd ever seen, even in the loose, black Chinese
clothes she was wearing. Every movement would bring
suggest another curve; and when that one was gone with
the next movement, there was another curve to trace.
Curves were what THIS little dynamo was about. It made
him want to despise the skinny, straight-edged things
called models. Even those who had something on top
couldn't match Ranma-chan's. It wasn't just that hers
were still free to move about. It was HOW they moved. She
hadn't had much practice keeping them from jiggling about
any more than had to. And what's more, she prided herself
in being able to take aches and pains: Which meant it
would take her even longer to learn how to wear her
adipose. Hopefully, anyway.
The trim, little redhead started taking glances his way.
He knew he couldn't be a spectator any longer. Tossing
his bookbag aside, he stepped into the arena, "Mind if I
join you in your practice drills?"
Ranma-chan said a little scornfully, "You think you can
keep up?"
The much taller Kaneda slipped right into the familiar
routine she'd been doing, "In your present condition? As
a guy, I can."
In response, Ranma-chan turned a kick into a leap. While
still in the air, she did a series of complicated
thrusts, grabs, throws, and stomps that would've taken
Kaneda a minute to complete on the ground.
By the time she'd landed from that one jump, Kaneda had
ground his movements to a halt. "I thought you weren't as
good when you're the girl."
Ranma-chan frowned at the idiot, "I'm not! These drills
are just shadowboxin'. It almost doesn't matter if I'm a
guy or a girl when I do them. I need somebody to spar
against so I can learn to compensate for my shorter arms
and legs, lighter weight, and all the other stuff I'm not
attuned to, yet."
Kaneda understood that. He, too, became the other sex.
There were just too many differences in the two bodies to
bring the skills you learned in one body without having
to drastically compensate. So he had to ask, "How is it
you're able to use your other body so well?"
Ranma-chan went over the pail of water, "A martial
artist's mental--TIRING--discipline. It's almost like
learnin' to fight in a new style I'm not used to." She
dipped her hand in the pail, and rubbed the water on her
face to cool off, "That's why I've got to practice until
it's second nature to me: Something I DON'T have to think
about. Just do!"
Kaneda had allowed his guard to be down:
Splash!
Drenching wet and angry, Kaneda ran! "That was a dirty
trick! I don't WANT to be a girl, now!"
Ranma-chan chased the redhaired guy, rubbing her hands
together building up the heat of the friction while
building up the heat of her battle aura, "You OWE me!!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Back in her apron Kasumi was in the kitchen preparing
supper. Hearing the commotion outside, she smiled. "Mr.
And Mrs. Temple Priests did sense the connection between
those two. After one day, their enchanted pieces of red
string already have them acting like SUCH good friends."
The door opened and her brother came in yelling, "I'm not
going to spar with you! The LAST thing I want is grapple
with you as a girl!!"
Ranma-chan pounced, "Ha!! I'll use the energy of your OWN
anger to add to the heat of my "Saotome Instant Hot Water
Attack" work!"
Kaneda cried in outrage as he felt the water on him
become hot enough to change him into a girl, too.
But it hadn't been hot enough to change Ranma-chan. The
pigtailed girl grabbed what remained of Kane-chan's dress
and pulled her back out the door and towards the dojo.
Ranma-chan explained, "Sparrin' ain't fightin'! You
should be enough of a martial artist to know that!"
Trying to rip enough of what remained of her uniform to
get away, Kane-chan yelled, "Why don't you want to spar
in my GUY form!?!"
Before Ranma-chan could answer Kane-chan's broke out of
the last of her outer clothes.
She fled into the house and out the kitchen door in just
her blue polka dot bra and panties.
Ranma-chan chased after her, "Come back here and fight
like a girl!!"
When she had the kitchen to herself again, Kasumi
realized, "Oh, my! BOTH Ranma and Akane have lost the red
strings I sewed into their clothes! --And I didn't have a
chance to sew a piece in Kaneda's uniform last night, I
was so busy with the rest of his laundry!"
Kasumi tried to decide if she should blush, "Oh, my! If
it's not the red string's magic, what could be keeping
them together?"
Perhaps to have a cursed relationship, there has to be a
relationship.
The End of this chapter
[Was the original, Takahashi-sama's Akane cursed as well?
Can anybody be that blind to the truth on her own?]
By Ron Dow75
18: Atypical Chapter
[This is loosely based on atypical Episode Six.]
In Dr. Tofu's office, only the small, redhaired girl in
black-with-red-trim, pajama-like Chinese clothes was
sitting. But she wasn't sitting comfortably:
Ranma-chan's head was sharply cricked to the left.
But it was Dr. Tofu that was more bent, psychologically.
"Progestin! Oral contraceptives! You know as an
acupuncturist, I normally don't approve of pills--Ha, ha!
Especially ones that are illegal in this country! Good
thing I'm also a GP with connections!"
Kaneda looked at his older sister accusingly. Kasumi
acted as if she didn't have a clue about what was going
on. "Doctor, you said we shouldn't tell Kaneda's about
his birth control pills!"
But the longhaired redhead knew she really wasn't really
to blame; it was just the years of frustration over his
coach and mentor being taken from him every time she
showed up. Then he became somebody that was hard to
admire. He muttered to himself, "Why does this have to
happen to every generation of his family, until the
astrological signs are right for--" Suddenly it
registered with him what was being said, "Birth control!!
ME!!?!"
Dr. Tofu bowed to Kaneda, "Congratulations! You'll soon
be a mother!"
Kaneda cried, "MOTHER!!?!"
The man in the black martial arts gi grasped his hand and
pumped it violently up and down, "Or father!" He smiled
over at his other patient, "Isn't that right, Ranma-
chan?!"
Ranma-chan nearly straightened her neck at this news:
"WHA--OW!!"
Dr. Tofu was already ignoring them as he went to tell
Kasumi, "Isn't the red string a thing of wonder and a
joy?!"
Kasumi told him, "Doctor, that is ALSO something that was
best kept a secret."
Ranma-chan stood up, demanding, "If I'm gonna have a kid,
I think the doctor should tell me about it!!" Under other
circumstances Ranma-chan wouldn't have let herself get
bothered by the idea she could become pregnant; the idea
would've just been to far-removed from his normal sense
of maleness. But ever since she'd arrived at the Tendous,
things had seemed to be snowballing out of hand. She had
even gotten brief strange feelings that could've been
female.
Kaneda said, "You don't mean, uh, now, do you."
Dr. Tofu took the bony hands of his skeleton Beti and
looked her in the eye sockets, "Ah, the red string: Love
before first sight! No matter how far separated in space
and time, it draws together those predestined to be in
love, binding them even after death."
Ranma-chan looked sideways at the tall, muscular Kaneda,
"I ain't marryin' an idiot just because some dumb
folklore says I'm destined to!" Ranma didn't know that
the concept had become an enchanted object. Though, one
she wasn't wearing at the moment.
The ponytailed Doctor was going on as if he hadn't heard,
"...Maybe your true love will be a foreigner--Maybe from
America! --Or Samoa! Korea! China!" He kissed Beti's
metacarpals, "Ah, like bone china."
The pigtailed girl stammered, "Chi, China?"
(Kaneda stammered as well, "Wh, what about OUR love?? I
thought THAT was what was predestined!?!!")
Dr. Tofu remained lost behind the romantic glaze of his
glasses, "...Modern travel does allow ANYONE from your
many past lives to find you, now, doesn't it?" And he
celebrated by taking unhooking his skeleton from her
stand.
Ranma asked, "Just HOW many reincarnated lovers and
rivals do you expect to find me?!"
The Doctor who looked younger than he was danced with his
Beti, singing an oldie, "When you're not with the one you
love, love the one you're with..."
The primly dressed Kasumi could not stay mad at him, "Oh,
Doctor! You're so entertaining!"
It was clear to Kaneda that Dr. Tofu was no longer able
to provide any more intelligible answers. And Kasumi,
too, was succumbing to the spell that kept them declaring
their love.
Kaneda thought, A lot of good their red string seems to
do them. At least their screwed up courtship proved
Kasumi wasn't right for Ranma-chan. Doesn't it?
Ranma-chan cried, "I've had it! I'm outa this mental
clinic!" Pushing some hot water--Very hot--from the
carafe on the table, she splashed her face. And the
pigtailed guy was headed for the door.
Kaneda said, "Talk about a screwed up courtships!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
In his long-sleeved silk outfit Ranma-kun was "playing"
soccer with two 10-kg/20 lb. stones, bouncing them off a
large boulder half-embedded in the ground, catching them
with just his bare feet and kicking them back. Even as he
was doing that he was digging out another from the soft,
damp earth beside the river.
A voice up on the concrete levee said, "I would've
thought you would avoid being near water when you could."
His head still at a 90-degree angle to his neck caught
one of the stones so he could look at the speaker, "And
*I* would've thought you'd avoid bein' a girl when you
could."
The blackhaired Kane-chan told him, "I didn't think I
could. Not with what's happened to you today. I went back
and used the hot water dispenser in Dr. Tofu's office."
She'd also picked up a sheet that had covered one of the
Doctor's beds. This she'd wrapped around her sort of
sari-like to cover her badly torn Furinkan dress.
Ranma-kun tossed his stone into the other one he'd kept
kicking. The second stone bounced off of that and back at
the boulder. The first stone, Ranma-chan started kicking
again. He'd stopped looking at Kane-chan.
Kane-chan came down the large waffled slope of the levee,
"I bet even in this body I can pick up that large boulder
out of the ground and toss it into the river." Even she
knew it was a dumb thing to say, but she couldn't think
of anything else to start a conversation. It was the guy
in her.
The blackhaired pigtailed guy continued doing what he was
doing, unimpressed, "What a stupid idea. Don't you think
*I* couldn't've done that? *I* know enough about a
martial artist's responsibility NOT to throw things in
where a boat or diver might hit it."
Kane-chan felt the stab. Ranma-chan WAS more responsible
than she was. Her first impulse was to go on the
offensive: "Oh!? And so what do YOU do? You play games
with it. If it's such a hazard waiting to happen, why
don't you do something about it?"
Ranma-kun caught the first stone back on his instep,
"What would you have me do, break it up into small
pieces? Maybe with one finger, yet."
Kane-chan said, "Of course not with "one finger"!" She
watched as the second stone was stopped by Ranma-kun's
heel. But it's impact sent the first stone rolling up his
leg and body and practically into his hands. It only
reminded Kane-chan how much superior Ranma was. "But you
CAN break stones! You DO know how to do karate, don't
you!?!"
Ranma-kun seemed to think a moment, "Do I? Gee, why don't
you show me." And single-handedly, he tossed the stone he
held towards her.
Kane-chan used only one small hand to shove it back,
"Jerk!" Her aim was off.
Ranma-kun had misjudged the girl's ability. He had to
quickly try to bend his body and tilt his head to the
right to get out of the way of heavy stone. His injured
neck almost didn't allow him to get out of the way in
time. It glanced off his cheek and jaw.
Kane-chan was strong for a girl, but the stone just
missed making the short distance into the river.
Kane-chan asked, "Are you okay?!" She was concerned, but
more worried about the girl the guy became. Guys were
expected to be tougher than girls.
Ranma-kun was still standing, "Hnh! It'd take more 'n
that to phase me when I got my defenses up." Suddenly he
noticed the stiffness was gone, "Hunh??" He bent his neck
right and left and then again, "Hey, I'm cured."
Kane-chan's frown returned, "And more than just your
neck, I see. Why ARE you acting relaxed and confident,
now?" Since she'd found him by the river, this GUY wasn't
like the uptight, over-reactive girl Ranma-chan had been
lately.
Ranma-kun told her, "Because I'm a guy, now." He tugged
on his black Chinese shirt, "...Wearin' silk." He looked
out at the river. "It took this river to remind me. When
I came to all of this water, I nearly freaked out."
He turned to her, "But I realized that wasn't me. This
whole thing of isn't me." He kicked up a rock and caught
it. (Kaneda instinctively backed up a couple of steps.)
"I HAD thought I got my problem with bein' girl under
control on my trip back from China." He casually tossed
the 3-kg/6 lb. weight up and caught it. "Now, I think I
was just distracted by havin' to look over my shoulder
for something lavender, and all."
Kane-chan had to ask, "What??"
Ranma-kun shrugged broad shoulders, "All: The stuff that
happened on my way back from China."
Kane-chan thought that this might be a good time for
Ranma to be a girl, Then maybe her verbal skills would
be better. But being a girl WAS the problem her guy-half
was trying to deal with. Looking for something to say,
she said, "Uh...There are a lot of people in China."
Ranma-kun started walking down the shore with his rock,
"We stayed away from the cities. That was probably a
mistake."
Kane-chan still had to pull teeth, "So you didn't see
many people?"
Ranma-kun said, rolling it over and around in his hand,
"Oh, we saw people! ...Rural, traditional types. And you
couldn't help but let them see you."
Kane-chan said, "You, you mean as the girl?"
Ranma-kun hit the rock up into the air with his fist, "It
was Pop's way of checkin' to see if I stayed a guy
inside, I guess. Stupid Old Man, we were supposed to be
hiding."
Kane-chan watched Ranma-kun catch the rock in his palm.
"But instead you had everybody staring at you? And I bet
the women were the worse."
Ranma-kun glanced over his square shoulder, "Yeah, how'd
you know?"
Kane-chan knew. "When you're a girl, people don't look at
YOU. It's all about what you look like, act like on the
outside." That was one of many reasons she didn't like
being a girl.
Ranma-kun looked ahead again, "It made me feel doubly
foreign. So I guess I hid in plain sight, lettin' myself
think the girl body was a disguise or something."
Kane-chan nodded, "I can relate to that."
Ranma-kun said, "Then this will help you feel better,"
and he casually underhanded the rock.
The longhaired Kane-chan hurried away from the splash
from the river, "Hey!"
Ranma-kun smiled as he spun around and walked backwards,
"I thought you LIKED bein' a guy."
Kane-chan told him, "I'm a girl to make you feel better!"
Ranma-kun said, "Ha! I don't need you to make me feel
better." And he turned his back on her.
Kane-chan hurried after him, "Hey! Give me a chance!"
The longer-legged Ranma-kun jumped into an empty boat
tied up along the bank. "You have to catch me, first!"
Kane-chan pulled up her skirt and jumped before he could
get away in it. But Ranma-kun had already bounded out of
it.
Kane-chan leaped, too.
She hadn't looked. Too late, she saw that Ranma-kun had
landed on a lone pier rising out of the water.
Kane-chan tried to back-peddle her bare legs away from
the water. "WHO-OH!!"
Splash!
Ranma-kun's smile remained. He enjoyed the sight.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
His smile had dimmed a few minutes later when he was
walking the residential streets of Nerima. He even
fiddled a bit with the elastic bands on his sleeves. He
was used to them around his ankles.
Back in his Furinkan gray pants and white shirt, Kaneda
was close behind him. Again with nothing better to say,
he grumbled, "Now we're both guys."
Ranma-kun said, "Yep. ' Guess there's no reason to hang
around me."
The redhaired Kaneda could think of a couple, including,
You never know when you could become wet and the girl
again. At least now I have strong shoulders you can lean
on. Looking about for something to say, he saw the
golden brass arc over the traffic mirror at the corner
that let people see if there was a car coming. "I've got
an idea. How much money do you have on you?"
Ranma-kun said, "Why do you ask?"
Kaneda said, "Lend me some, because I'm starving."
Ranma-kun asked, "So am I. So why should I give you any
money?"
Kaneda told him, "Because you're staying for free at our
house?" That didn't really register with Ranma. It was as
Kaneda thought, Ranma-kun was used to his dad bumming
room and board for them wherever he could. Kaneda said,
"If you treat me, I'll treat you soon. I'm more likely to
have money than you, right?"
That did register with Ranma-kun, "I've worked."
Kaneda crossed his muscular arms, "I'm the son of martial
artists. ...PROUD martial artists."
Ranma-kun's mood soured some. It WAS true: Ranma HAD
worked before, and done things normally left to adults to
do. But a lot of them he had had to do behind his pop's
back. The Old Man had a list of things that were
undignified for a people of their station to be seen
doing. (Never mind some of the stupid things that WERE
okay for them to do in public. How many times had Pop
balanced Ranma on top of a "nimbus" ball as Ranma in a
Monkey King costume spun plates on the end of a pole in
front of a shop just for a couple of free dinners?) The
only exception to his anti-manual labor list was if it
could be made to look as if they were practicing their
martial arts. "Anything can be used as martial arts
practice!" Pop would then say out loud when somebody
wandered by.
And Kaneda had guessed that, too. "My Dad says Martial
Arts Lumberjacking, Ditch-digging, and Plumbing were
developed so people like us could keep our heads up."
There! Pop WAS too concerned about saving his ugly face.
Ranma could've have learned ALL of those by now, if he'd
been allowed to have a real job. Wasn't the IDEA of us
traveling for ten years was to learn different
techniques!?! The list was probably there just because
his pop was just too lazy to do hard work.
What Ranma didn't know was why Genma insisted on fooling
himself that he was an honorable man. It had to do with
the self-respect and reputation he'd lost as a young man
learning from the wrong master. And Genma being an orphan
without a family or heritage of his own hadn't helped,
either. Something else Ranma didn't know about.
Kaneda said, "Why do you think I'm developing Martial
Arts Carpentry? There's always the chance I could lose
the dojo."
Ranma-kun said, "Why HAVE a dojo? I was raised so I could
hire myself out."
Kaneda smiled a challenge, "Then you have the money?"
Feeling his pride as a guy at stake, Ranma-kun said, "How
much money do you need?"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Ranma had enough for a several hamburgers and a couple of
shakes from the nearby Golden Arches. They'd taken the
bag out to the flagstone courtyard in a nearby park and a
bench around a tree. Ranma had to wonder again at how
uncrowded Nerima was compared to most urban places in
Japan. They were the only ones about.
Not looking at each other, they ate their hamburgers in
silence. That is they didn't talk to each other. They ate
as noisily as any normal couple of guys. By the time
they'd gotten to the shakes, they were listening to the
other one slurp and chew.
Kaneda won when he belched. In Japan, burping was a way
of expressing to your host that you appreciated the meal.
But the host only heard a belch. They were eating an
American-style meal, and Ranma-kun knew enough about
American customs to know what a belch meant to their
guys. He had been around military bases, and tourists,
too.
Frowning, Ranma crumpled up the wrapper from his burger,
and threw it for the waste can across the courtyard.
Kaneda then did the same.
Kaneda missed.
The longhaired guy got up and went over to the litter
he'd left on the ground. But he immediately returned to
the bench with it.
Sitting down, Kaneda aimed for the can, and got it in
this time. Two points.
Kaneda tried to look pleased. The can was so far away it
should been three points.
Ranma-kun said, "Whoopee."
The guy-Ranma wasn't allowing Kaneda to be pleased.
Kaneda took out the double cheeseburger from the bag
between them.
Ranma-kun said, "I ordered that."
Kaneda took a big bite out of it. He didn't bother
chewing it thoroughly. As soon as he could he forced it
down his throat with a loud gulp. "Whoopee. There are no
dibs."
Ranma-kun had watched the Adam's apple move, "I'll
remember that." He watched him take another large bite of
the cheeseburger. "So, you're on the pill."
Kaneda nearly choked to death. He'd only discovered this
afternoon that Kasumi had been slipping birth control
pills into his meals. It'd never occurred to him that he
might NEED something like that. The cheeseburger, in
pieces and inside a bun, fell on a very clean flagstone.
Ranma-kun at least waited until Kaneda's stopped being
blue in the face. "Aren't there side effects?"
Now Kaneda turned pale.
He whipped around, "No!! Do I look different from every
OTHER guy!?"
The pigtailed guy pretended to study him. Kaneda knew
he'd allowed the opening.
Ranma-kun said, "If I was interested, I'd ask about the
size of your--"
Kaneda told him, "It's thicker than yours, THAT much I
know! I saw yours when you took a bath that first day."
Ranma-kun quirked a smile, "So you ARE interested in
guys."
Kaneda made fists over his knees, "I am not!"
The guy in the black "pajamas" took the last burger in
the bag, "It's a good thing for you I try to keep in mind
you're a girl, not a guy."
Kaneda stifled his frustration. He had wanted it to be
the other way around! He didn't mind too much if Ranma-
chan was better at martial arts than he was (as if he had
much of a choice), but there HAD to be something that
would make her see him as a man!
Unwrapping, Ranma-kun asked, "So, any side effects?"
Kaneda was on his feet, talking down at the guy, "Not as
a girl, either! Dr. Tofu has examined me enough times to
know how LITTLE to give me. You HEARD him, it only has to
take care of a, uh, um... Of only a FEW of my guy cells!"
Ranma-kun finished what was in his mouth. Then, "Unless
an ova remains behind after the change and ends up in
their male counter part, the testicles."
Feeling suddenly deathly ill, Kaneda plopped back down on
the bench. "That...can...happen...?"
Ranma-kun shrugged a male shoulder, as he finished the
next bite. His mouth clear, "I really didn't pay that
much attention to the sex ed. lectures I hadda put up
with." He reached for his shake, "But it's funny what you
know when you have a good reason to know."
Kaneda stared, seeing nothing, "Why haven't I ever asked
Dr. Tofu for the details about what happens, or DOESN'T
happen, when I change?!"
Ranma-kun slurped the last of his shake. "Because you're
too much of a coward to want to know?"
Kaneda's blue eyes became more focused, "And you're not?
Have YOU let yourself be examined!? You KNOW unlike me
your base form is as the girl."
Ranma-kun refused to let the jerk get to him. "No it
ain't. I started out as a guy and stay a guy until I
hafta change."
Kaneda thought HE had the advantage, now, in this guy
contest, "Is: It is easier for you to be a girl than a
guy. Being a guy is what you change INTO."
Despite his promise to himself he wouldn't let things get
to him again, Ranma-kun's hand squashed what remained of
his burger. "That's not the way it works."
Kaneda smiled, "There's only one way to find out."
Ranma-kun frowned as he cleaned his hand with a paper
napkin. He tossed it in his shake container, and tossed
it, then all of his hamburger wrappers into the large bag
they'd come in. This he crumpled up into a large ball and
threw at the waste can.
He missed.
Ranma-kun got up, and walked to where the wadded up bag
had fallen. He kicked it up with his bare instep, and
bounced it off his knee into the can. One soccer point.
His senses noticed a familiar sound that seemed oddly out
of place. When Dr. Tofu came running by, Ranma-kun could
see the guy was acting more than just odd. He was
laughing as he gave his skeleton a piggyback ride.
But that wasn't enough. The man in the black martial arts
costume pulled the assembled bones from his back and
tossed it high in the air as he held on by one of its
hands. He leaped and spun and danced with her, never
letting her bony feet touch the ground.
Ranma-kun watched all of this in silence.
Ranma-kun turned to the guy embarrassed for his mentor,
"This is the guy I'm supposed to let examine me."
Kaneda defended his coach, "It ONLY happens when Kasumi's
around! You're not the ONLY one with a curse, you know!"
Ranma-kun said, "Uh, hunh. And what does he change into
when cold water gets him?"
Kaneda got up, leaving his litter behind, "It's true! Dr.
Tofu won't talk about it. But I got to talk to his mother
once when we visited her." Actually, Kaneda had followed
him out of worry when his couch had a particularly bad
case. Dr. Tofu thought Kasumi wanted invite him to party.
The girls were competing by bringing the best dates they
could get. Tofu had heard and built his hopes up. But
Kasumi didn't approve of the idea and didn't go. Not that
the Doctor ever found out his mistake.
Ranma-kun started walking, "And what excuse did his
mother give." It wasn't a question.
Kaneda continued on, "Mrs. Ono said that the same thing
happened to Dr. Tofu's father before they were married.
It happens to all of the men in his family whenever they
find the women with the right positive power."
Ranma-kun played along, "Power?"
Kaneda hurried to get ahead of him, "Magical Power! It's
the Law of Sympathy, or something like that. "Like
affects like"."
Ranma-kun said mildly sarcastically, "Oh, you know about
magic?"
Kaneda said, "I've lived with changing into a girl all of
my life. You don't think I'd want to find out why and
how?" And I certainly wasn't getting any answers from
Dad.
Ranma-kun accepted that.
Kaneda said, "I've studied what I could about magic. But
Dr. Tofu discouraged me from going very deep into it. He
says without the right protection, it's too dangerous."
Ranma-kun remained sarcastic, "The "right protection",
like HE has."
Kaneda slipped past the shorter Ranma-kun, "Yes! That's
what this whole deal with Kasumi is about. She has the
power Dr. Tofu needs."
Ranma-kun looked at the guy briefly, and in disbelief,
"Kasumi, your older sister, has a magic power?" He then
hopped the bushes beside the lane.
Kaneda told him, "She DOES!!" and leaped to follow Ranma-
kun on the grass. "Haven't you felt it?!"
Ranma-kun still wasn't buying it, "I guess I was too busy
lettin' my problem become my trouble."
Kaneda rushed to get in front of him, "She's got the
"Protection of the Innocent"."
Ranma-kun picked up his speed, "What I know about things,
being innocent doesn't protect you." He snorted, "Hnh! It
can be just the opposite."
Kaneda stopped to assert, "Not when you've got magic on
your side! And magic is all about the mental construct
you give it." He had to jog, now, "Kasumi uses her
strange interpretation of zen to give herself the "Bliss
of Ignorance". THAT'S when Dr. Tofu started acting like
he does around her!"
Ranma-kun saw a wall, and headed for it. "So, her magic
ignorance is protecting her from that guy."
It finally looked like Kaneda would get ahead of Ranma-
kun, "As best as I can figure it, Kasumi is like a
powerful river. Her bliss comes from the flow of the
routines she can find in her life. Her protection comes
because that flow is strong enough to sweep anything that
disturbs it down with its current."
Ranma-kun easily leaped over Kaneda's head. Kaneda had to
spin around. "Dr. Tofu is like a waterwheel: He uses
Kasumi's flow for HIS power!" Though she was probably
more like an auxiliary motor; Kaneda was sure the Doctor
had other sources of magic.
Ranma-kun stopped to crouch on the wall top, "Oh, right:
The crazier her acts, the more powerful he's getting.
Brother!"
Kaneda knew Ranma-kun was looking down on him, "Rivers
have swells--Surges! That's what happens when Kasumi gets
too close to him! There's just too much of her presence."
Ranma-kun shook his male head, and stood up, "She floods
his mind, and like a river, isn't aware of it. She can't
be "Ignorant" and "Blissful" all of the time."
Kaneda told him, "That's when the river is changing its
bank. Rivers are always meandering. But they're ALWAYS
flowing towards the same place, the sea. And after that--
"
Ranma-kun walked away, hands in his pockets, "Talk about
mental constructs. I think you're just scared to go
against your big sister."
Kaneda said, "Then I challenge YOU to stand up to her."
Ranma-kun said, " ' Sure will. The first time she wants
me to do something I don't."
Kaneda used his longer legs to catch up, "Just let me
know when you do. I want to be there to see it happen to
you, too."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
They didn't talk to each other for minutes more. Kaneda
finally said, "Speaking of silk."
Ranma-kun said, "I wasn't talkin' about anything. And I
ain't listenin'."
Kaneda said, "I know you can see flaws in me comparing
Kasumi to a river. But there are flaws in all magical
constructs. The magic of an idea only works as long as
you can make it work for you. THAT'S where your idea
about silk protecting you from getting pregnant comes in.
It may work for you, but it won't work for me, because I
can see the flaws in the logic."
The pigtailed guy continued on his walk along the walls,
"You're tryin' to get back at you for tryin' to ignore
you by pointin' out the flaws in my logic. ' Get me to
doubt that silk is be my talisman."
Kaneda said, "No!"
Ranma-kun squatted down to look him directly at the guy
with the stupid red hair, "Well it won't work. I'm too
stubborn. I'll believe what I want to believe no matter
what anybody's got to say. And now that I got my self-
confidence back, I can reinforce that with positive
energy. That's why I'm so good bein' martial artist."
Kaneda heard Ranma-kun's boast as a challenge. Fighting
against himself to respond to it, Kaneda said, "If I
WANTED you to get pregnant, I could keep repeating, "Your
body keeps more sperm cells than you think". If I say
that over and over again, your subconscious WILL start
letting it happen."
He hung his head, "Of course, that would mean I'd
probably convince my own before yours."
Ranma-kun said, " ' Shows how much confidence you have in
yourself." Then he laughed, "But thanks! I'll just keep
tellin' myself that ALL of the things stay where they're
supposed to stay."
Kaneda glared up at him, "That will only work once you
have the confidence to get over your silk fetish. ARE you
so sure in your ability to believe what you want to
believe? Any little doubt, and you WILL become pregnant."
WHAM! Kaneda HAD met the challenge. Ranma-kun was thrown.
Now to keep the guy in her off-balance, "Why not try for
something you can SEE. Get yourself to believe that you
DON'T have to change."
Angry, Ranma-kun speed up his travel along the walls, "I
know enough about magic to know that won't work. It
wasn't MY idea to keep changing into a girl."
Kaneda jogged after, "--Or mine!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Kaneda asked, "We're stopping at the clinic again?"
Ranma-kun told him, "I forgot my schoolbag."
Kaneda realized, "So did I!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The panda stopped pacing the lobby when it saw Ranma-kun
come in. THEN it frowned even more when it saw Kaneda
come in behind him.
The black-and-white animal came up to Ranma and began to
lecture him about something, "Berao baru byoroa mummba,
rramaaru!"
Ranma-kun walked by it. "Geez, you'd think Pop'd use some
hot water to change back."
Kaneda coldly looked at it, "Maybe he likes being a
panda."
The huge animal swung its attention onto the outsider.
Kaneda met its beady gaze, "Do you feel man enough to
take me on?"
The panda held up a sign, [That's supposed to be Ranma's
line!]
Kaneda told it, "Ranma thinks I'm a girl."
The panda signed, [But you LOOK like a guy!!]
Kaneda thumbed his chest, "I'm every bit a guy as Ranma's
a girl! We DO have the same curse, you know."
The panda growled in frustration. It's claws twitched,
readying themselves for--
Ranma-kun poured a teakettle of hot water over it, "Leave
AKANE alone, Pop."
Genma told his son, pointing, "Did you HEAR what that boy
just said, Ranma!?! WHY do you let him get away with
treating you like that!?! Challenge him to a real man-to-
man fight and get this nonsense over with!!"
His bookbag over one shoulder, Ranma-kun pushed his old
man towards the door, "I'll explain things on the way
back."
Kaneda noticed that Ranma-kun had only his bookbag. And
there was also the matter of, "Hey, if Mr. Saotome works
here, who's going to close up the clinic?!"
The male teen said, "I guess you are. You DO like the
doctor." And he tossed Kaneda the teakettle, "Why don't
you make yourself pretty for him."
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
It was sunset on another unusually beautiful April day in
Nerima. The first couple of days Ranma'd arrived with its
on-again-off-again rain and storms were typical for the
latitude Greater Tokyo was in this time of year. But
Ranma wasn't about to complain about this good spell of
weather, especially as long as he was under the bad spell
of Juusenkyo.
The man in the white gi, as usual, tried to do keep the
offensive, "Ranma, did you hear what that BOY said? He
asked me if I were MAN enough to take him on!"
Ranma-kun said, "Yeah, so?"
His sensei told his only student, "That's what YOU'VE got
to do! If he's got you thinking of him as a girl, then
challenge him THAT way. Be MAN enough to take her on that
way: Man-to-girl!"
Ranma-kun said, "That's just about the most disgusting
plans you've ever come up with, Pop. Even if Akane were a
girl all the time, I wouldn't do it. I've never been into
that whole boy/girl thing. YOU of all people should know
that."
Genma now had to regret the way he brought up his son,
now. If he hadn't had his own life ruined by an evil
gnome, then his approach as a father may have been
different. The last thing he had thought he wanted was to
have to deal with another pervert. "What am I to do with
you, Boy! You refuse to treat Soun's child as EITHER a
guy or a girl! How DO you intend to get rid of Kaneda?!"
The teenager asked casually, "If I get rid of Akane, what
will you do?"
Genma told him, "Why, I'd get you engaged to a fine,
proper young girl. Kasumi Tendou, for example. There's a
girl who knows how to be the traditional, ideal woman.
Let me do the matchmaking, and you don't have to know
ANYTHING about women."
Ranma-kun said, "There: YOU'RE the reason why I don't
want to get rid of Akane, yet. Why stop makin' you
unhappy. As long as she doesn't try to do anything when
she's a guy, I don't see the advantage of being rid of
her."
Genma said, "He's TRYING to make a girl out of you,
Boy!!"
Ranma-kun said, "Yeah, that WAS gettin' to me. I was even
startin' to forget she was really a girl." Then he said
more to himself, "But the curse is the curse! To forget
would be like sayin' I'm not a guy when I'm not." He
looked at his pop for the first time, "But I AIN'T gonna
forget!" It had the intensity of a vow.
He stopped on the bridge, "Look, Old Man, I realized
today that the whole, damned world can believe I'm a
girl, for all I care. It's ME who decides what I am. The
outside doesn't really matter. What if I'd fallin' in the
"Spring of Fat, Ugly, Bald Old Man"? Should I let myself
act like one?"
Genma said, "Of course not!" Only then did he suspect
he'd been insulted.
Ranma-kun was already looking ahead, at the goal he had
set for himself, "Bein' fat would be the worse part. As a
martial artist it'd gotta effect my skills. I'd have to
start a whole new trainin' program just to compensate."
Genma said, "Are you implying that I'm not at LEAST up to
your level as a martial artist. C'mon, Boy! I'll show you
just how fat this--"
Ranma-kun tripped his pop over the railing of the river's
bridge.
Splash!
The hard-muscled teen in the loose Chinese silk leaned
against the railing as he looked down at the panda,
"Bein' a girl most of the day at school HAS shown
there're gonna be times when I am in the girl-body. If I
have to go find some hot water so I can fight, it'd be
almost as bad as havin' to have a guy save me."
The panda swiped its paws up at the boy looking down at
it. It loudly dared him to a fight there and then.
The pigtailed guy cupped an ear, "What'd you say, Pop?!
Bein' a girl isn't on your list of things that'd be
undignified for me to do?!" He took his hand away, and
raised it in a half-salute that turned into a good-bye
gesture, "I'll remember to keep it lookin' like I'm
learnin' new fightin' techniques!" He grinned, "After
all: ANYTHING can be turned into martial arts trainin'!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
The sun still hadn't set when Kaneda walked in the front
gate. He found the redhaired Ranma-chan going through her
katas out in the area of sand in front of the dojo. He
watched her for a few minutes. She had the cutest face
and body he'd ever seen, even in the loose, black Chinese
clothes she was wearing. Every movement would bring
suggest another curve; and when that one was gone with
the next movement, there was another curve to trace.
Curves were what THIS little dynamo was about. It made
him want to despise the skinny, straight-edged things
called models. Even those who had something on top
couldn't match Ranma-chan's. It wasn't just that hers
were still free to move about. It was HOW they moved. She
hadn't had much practice keeping them from jiggling about
any more than had to. And what's more, she prided herself
in being able to take aches and pains: Which meant it
would take her even longer to learn how to wear her
adipose. Hopefully, anyway.
The trim, little redhead started taking glances his way.
He knew he couldn't be a spectator any longer. Tossing
his bookbag aside, he stepped into the arena, "Mind if I
join you in your practice drills?"
Ranma-chan said a little scornfully, "You think you can
keep up?"
The much taller Kaneda slipped right into the familiar
routine she'd been doing, "In your present condition? As
a guy, I can."
In response, Ranma-chan turned a kick into a leap. While
still in the air, she did a series of complicated
thrusts, grabs, throws, and stomps that would've taken
Kaneda a minute to complete on the ground.
By the time she'd landed from that one jump, Kaneda had
ground his movements to a halt. "I thought you weren't as
good when you're the girl."
Ranma-chan frowned at the idiot, "I'm not! These drills
are just shadowboxin'. It almost doesn't matter if I'm a
guy or a girl when I do them. I need somebody to spar
against so I can learn to compensate for my shorter arms
and legs, lighter weight, and all the other stuff I'm not
attuned to, yet."
Kaneda understood that. He, too, became the other sex.
There were just too many differences in the two bodies to
bring the skills you learned in one body without having
to drastically compensate. So he had to ask, "How is it
you're able to use your other body so well?"
Ranma-chan went over the pail of water, "A martial
artist's mental--TIRING--discipline. It's almost like
learnin' to fight in a new style I'm not used to." She
dipped her hand in the pail, and rubbed the water on her
face to cool off, "That's why I've got to practice until
it's second nature to me: Something I DON'T have to think
about. Just do!"
Kaneda had allowed his guard to be down:
Splash!
Drenching wet and angry, Kaneda ran! "That was a dirty
trick! I don't WANT to be a girl, now!"
Ranma-chan chased the redhaired guy, rubbing her hands
together building up the heat of the friction while
building up the heat of her battle aura, "You OWE me!!"
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
Back in her apron Kasumi was in the kitchen preparing
supper. Hearing the commotion outside, she smiled. "Mr.
And Mrs. Temple Priests did sense the connection between
those two. After one day, their enchanted pieces of red
string already have them acting like SUCH good friends."
The door opened and her brother came in yelling, "I'm not
going to spar with you! The LAST thing I want is grapple
with you as a girl!!"
Ranma-chan pounced, "Ha!! I'll use the energy of your OWN
anger to add to the heat of my "Saotome Instant Hot Water
Attack" work!"
Kaneda cried in outrage as he felt the water on him
become hot enough to change him into a girl, too.
But it hadn't been hot enough to change Ranma-chan. The
pigtailed girl grabbed what remained of Kane-chan's dress
and pulled her back out the door and towards the dojo.
Ranma-chan explained, "Sparrin' ain't fightin'! You
should be enough of a martial artist to know that!"
Trying to rip enough of what remained of her uniform to
get away, Kane-chan yelled, "Why don't you want to spar
in my GUY form!?!"
Before Ranma-chan could answer Kane-chan's broke out of
the last of her outer clothes.
She fled into the house and out the kitchen door in just
her blue polka dot bra and panties.
Ranma-chan chased after her, "Come back here and fight
like a girl!!"
When she had the kitchen to herself again, Kasumi
realized, "Oh, my! BOTH Ranma and Akane have lost the red
strings I sewed into their clothes! --And I didn't have a
chance to sew a piece in Kaneda's uniform last night, I
was so busy with the rest of his laundry!"
Kasumi tried to decide if she should blush, "Oh, my! If
it's not the red string's magic, what could be keeping
them together?"
Perhaps to have a cursed relationship, there has to be a
relationship.
The End of this chapter
[Was the original, Takahashi-sama's Akane cursed as well?
Can anybody be that blind to the truth on her own?]