Part 12u – We Brake For Brunettes
Author Note. This part SUCKS. But it does so on purpose. It's meant to lower your expectations, so when you read the next part (Part 12y) you'll be amazed and love me even more. Really. Uhhuh. *gulp*
Subdivision 1 (a.k.a. Desperate Author Writing)
Liz Parker. Little Miss Perfect. The girl who has everything. The girl that all the fans secretly hate or out right hate. You either hate her because she's annoying, or because she's got Max. Yes, that's it folks. Liz Parker is the one who snagged Max "Dumbo With Boobs" Evans. She, who unbeknown to herself, groped her boyfriend while he was shaking his money maker. She who…
You know what? I'm the Author, and I just SO cannot write Liz write now, I'll end up ringing her perfect little neck. So, here's a synopsis of what this section of this part was going to be about. You all use your imaginations and fill in the blanks from what I give you.
Liz is having a bad day. She's still embarrassed about getting drunk and groping the stripper. She's having such a bad day that when she goes to fill out an order in the Crashdown she starts to write with her tampon and her pencil is nowhere in sight. That giving you a good idea of how bad her day is? Good. So, she's doing her whole mopey, whiney, lovesick *coughBuffycough* spiel and then Max comes in. Then you go on with Part 12a, after he leaves she's all floaty and happy and starts wondering what kind of "Little Yoda" he's packing. So, go on, use your imagination from there on.
Subdivision 2 (a.k.a. Author Is Out Of Ideas)
Isabel was going to violently hurt her boyfriend, then she'd nurse him back to health, play with him awhile, then hurt him again. No one, ever, runs out on her and sites PMS as a reason. His ass was grass and in the tradition of Robert Downey Jr. she was going to smoke him. (Okay, tasteless but funny, right?) When he got home, ohhhhh, when he got home… She'd never watch WWF Smackdown with him again, no matter how hot the Hardys are… or Chris Jericho… or… okay, maybe she'd watch it with him some. But next time she caught him drooling over Lita he was so getting a smackdown laid upon him.
Maybe she'd act like she was going to give him a treat and make her hair red and dress like Lita for him… then kick his ass like she would.
That has a lot of promise.
Except he might enjoy that a little too much, maybe more than her. Thus, not a good punishment.
Maybe later, if he's been a good boy.
He'd better get home soon, or she'd show him something far worse than her PMS'ing. Her royally pissed off. If he thought she was the Ice Princess before she'd be so cold that if they ever want kids together he'll have to thaw out the little guys.
Thinking of all the horrid stuff she would do to the love of her life tired her out. So she went to the bathroom to do her pre-sleep ritual of shower (guys, if any are reading this, imagine this in great detail… some of you ladies too), facial mask and healthy dose of moisturizing hand cre… L O T I O N. Finishing up the lady went to bed, leaving the lotion in the bathroom… unbeknownst to her, the poor lotion was going to be viciously molested, like so many rednecks before it, by an alien. Yes, her brother.
That morning, what she saw, has forced her from that brand of lotion and now she constantly dreams of Max holding his own.
Isabel was not happy, and she was going to track down her boyfriend and wrestle with him. And it wouldn't be the kind he'd enjoy.
She hoped.
Author Note. This part SUCKS. But it does so on purpose. It's meant to lower your expectations, so when you read the next part (Part 12y) you'll be amazed and love me even more. Really. Uhhuh. *gulp*
Subdivision 1 (a.k.a. Desperate Author Writing)
Liz Parker. Little Miss Perfect. The girl who has everything. The girl that all the fans secretly hate or out right hate. You either hate her because she's annoying, or because she's got Max. Yes, that's it folks. Liz Parker is the one who snagged Max "Dumbo With Boobs" Evans. She, who unbeknown to herself, groped her boyfriend while he was shaking his money maker. She who…
You know what? I'm the Author, and I just SO cannot write Liz write now, I'll end up ringing her perfect little neck. So, here's a synopsis of what this section of this part was going to be about. You all use your imaginations and fill in the blanks from what I give you.
Liz is having a bad day. She's still embarrassed about getting drunk and groping the stripper. She's having such a bad day that when she goes to fill out an order in the Crashdown she starts to write with her tampon and her pencil is nowhere in sight. That giving you a good idea of how bad her day is? Good. So, she's doing her whole mopey, whiney, lovesick *coughBuffycough* spiel and then Max comes in. Then you go on with Part 12a, after he leaves she's all floaty and happy and starts wondering what kind of "Little Yoda" he's packing. So, go on, use your imagination from there on.
Subdivision 2 (a.k.a. Author Is Out Of Ideas)
Isabel was going to violently hurt her boyfriend, then she'd nurse him back to health, play with him awhile, then hurt him again. No one, ever, runs out on her and sites PMS as a reason. His ass was grass and in the tradition of Robert Downey Jr. she was going to smoke him. (Okay, tasteless but funny, right?) When he got home, ohhhhh, when he got home… She'd never watch WWF Smackdown with him again, no matter how hot the Hardys are… or Chris Jericho… or… okay, maybe she'd watch it with him some. But next time she caught him drooling over Lita he was so getting a smackdown laid upon him.
Maybe she'd act like she was going to give him a treat and make her hair red and dress like Lita for him… then kick his ass like she would.
That has a lot of promise.
Except he might enjoy that a little too much, maybe more than her. Thus, not a good punishment.
Maybe later, if he's been a good boy.
He'd better get home soon, or she'd show him something far worse than her PMS'ing. Her royally pissed off. If he thought she was the Ice Princess before she'd be so cold that if they ever want kids together he'll have to thaw out the little guys.
Thinking of all the horrid stuff she would do to the love of her life tired her out. So she went to the bathroom to do her pre-sleep ritual of shower (guys, if any are reading this, imagine this in great detail… some of you ladies too), facial mask and healthy dose of moisturizing hand cre… L O T I O N. Finishing up the lady went to bed, leaving the lotion in the bathroom… unbeknownst to her, the poor lotion was going to be viciously molested, like so many rednecks before it, by an alien. Yes, her brother.
That morning, what she saw, has forced her from that brand of lotion and now she constantly dreams of Max holding his own.
Isabel was not happy, and she was going to track down her boyfriend and wrestle with him. And it wouldn't be the kind he'd enjoy.
She hoped.