Interlude Stardate Kirk-Nails-An-Alien
Max: It's been awhile.
Alex: It has, and don't even start singing Staind, okay?
Michael: It's a good song.
Kyle: It's a good, when done by pros.
Alex: Exactly.
Max: So anyway, this part sucked.
Alex: I know, sheesh, we got molested.
Kyle: I think we'll end up getting it worse.
Michael: Definitely.
Alex: Actually, let's not talk about this story or the author. I actually feel bad for him, but he said if we spoke about what was going on he'd turn this into hardcore triple-x, not NC-17, but Triple-X slash. So, let's just send out condolences and prostitutes.
Michael: Smurf prostitutes? I mean, he has a Smurf fetish.
Kyle: Let's hire someone to dress like a Smurf and strip for him.
Max: Um… ANYWAY… Um, oh yeah. Season finales have come and gone and we got bumped networks.
Michael: FINALLY, I so enjoyed killing that damn frog.
Alex: The WB really porked the pooch on this one. They lost Buffy and then basically handed us over to them. So now we get to follow Buffy, and I will enjoy following her.
Kyle: *cough*Youmeanwatchingherassfrombehind.*cough*
Alex: Like you won't.
Michael: I kind of like Anya actually.
Max: If Dawn wasn't jailbait.
Kyle: Whoa, Max the pedo.
Max: Shut up. I said "if".
Alex: Uh huh.
Kyle: Anyway, anyone else want to destroy the WB for what happened with Popular?
Group: YES.
Kyle: They didn't even give it a real final ep, the ending on a *#&@ CLIFFHANGER, they basically said they didn't give a damn about the fans. I mean, I want to know what happened to Brooke. Did Harrison really choose Sam over her? Is he that stupid? I always thought he'd get with Brooke or Mary Cherry.
Michael: Mary Cherry? She's a nut, no way on those too. But I want to know if Mary got out of the orphanage and reclaimed her Cherryhood with the help of her father RuPaul.
Max: Don't forget about Lily and Josh, I think they're going to get an annulment, they haven't had sex yet so they can. They can find some other way to keep Josh around.
Alex: I'm pissed they didn't have more of Carmen or Suges in the last ep, but I want to know if Nicole killed Brooke, I mean, since it's the finale anything is possible.
Kyle: Man, the WB sucks. I hope they lose all their ratings and become an infomercial channel and that UPN picks up all it's good shows. Man, I wish someone had picked up Popular or Jack and Jill.
Michael: Yeah! I mean, Jack is pregnant but her and Jill aren't getting married, she hadn't even told him. That's a crock, they need to resolve, but will they? Nooooo, because the WB blows.
Max: I want to know if Audrey and Barto finally got back together, I mean, duh, they love each other. It made it seem like they were/would, but I want them to go all the way and get married.
Alex: Screw that, I want Elisa and Mikey to get together. I've been wanting them to hook up for, like, forever. That Elisa chick was so cool.
Kyle: I know, and the damn WB screwed us out of endings for them all, yet kept crap like Felicity. Seriously, since she cut her hair the show hasn't been worth a damn. They should have just dropped Felicity, picked up Young Americans and Jack and Jill and run them full seasons back to back, no reruns.
Michael: Young Americans! YES, I loved that show man. That chick who was posing as a guy was so cool, and the two who thought they were related so needed to find out the truth and get to bumpin'.
Max: Exactly!
Alex: Man, the WB couldn't market it's way out of a paper bag. They couldn't sell sex to horny high schoolers.
Kyle: They couldn't sell Tabasco to an alien.
Michael: They couldn't sell a cat to ALF.
Max: They couldn't sell booze to a country music fan.
Alex: Okay, now that that is settled, any other shows we want to bitch about?
Kyle: Well, Grosse Point, not because it was a good show but because they had some hot women on it.
Michael: Oh I know, Lindsay Sloane was the best, right?
Max: Wasn't she on Sabrina back in the ABC days?
Alex: She was, maybe they'll bring her back on now, that'd be nice. And while they're at it they'll get Sabrina and Harvey back together.
Kyle: What, you don't like the other guy?
Michael: I don't think anyone really does.
Max: I sure don't.
Alex: See, we should have Neilson boxes.
Kyle: Now that would be cool. We could get 7 Days to be high rated on UPN again. Did they cancel it?
Michael: I don't think so, but I don't remember seeing it on the line up next season, I'm hoping it'll be like a mid-season replacement.
Max: That'd be good. I wish networks would learn that they don't have to show a season twice a year in the time slot. There are 52 weeks a year and 22 episodes a season. Why not show one full season of one show, then show a full season of another, then show maybe four catch up episodes and then the next season of the first and so on.
Alex: Simple, that makes too much sense. Networks are all run by morons.
Kyle: Except for the people at UPN who picked us up.
Michael: Well of course, that person is a genius.
Max: They should get a nice big fat raise.
Alex: And lots of sex. Especially if they bring me back.
(Shameless ass kissing to UPN, please don't be offended)
Kyle: And if they bring Buffy back from the dead.
Michael: Dude, they'll bring her back. I know how I want them to do it too. Angel and Spike go on a rampage through the Underworld, rough up the PTB's and get her life returned to her.
Alex: Along with mine.
Max: Sure, right, cross genre crossover.
Alex: Been done before.
Kyle: Not lately.
Michael: Sad but true. Hey, does anyone miss dueSouth too?
Max: YES, I loved that show. Fraser was hot.
Alex: Um… Well, yeah, okay, Fraser was hot in his uniform. So was the second Ray.
Kyle: Oh yeah, now he was a hot piece of… wait, we're talking slashy.
Michael: So? They were hot. Besides, almost all DS fans were into Ray/Fraser stuff.
Max: Wait, I noticed it too… I'm suddenly thinking about attractive men. I mean, yes, Heath Ledger is hot, but why am I suddenly thinking of his ass?
Alex: You all too? And you can have Heath, give me some of Josh Hartnett or Ben Affleck.
Kyle: This is way spooky, and you can keep them as long as I can have both the guys from Dude, Where's My Car? Let me make a manwhich!
Michael: Okay, this isn't right. I just thought Kyle was hot. Something bad is going on. Oh, and I claim James Marsters, anyone argues you go down… actually, maybe you should argue some.
Max: Wait… what's that glowing box in the corner?
Alex: Oh, it's just something that the Author gaves us… OH NO.
Kyle: The Author has slipped a Slashionator in here, hasn't he?
Michael: A what?
Max: It's this device, not sure about much but it makes those in the affected area suddenly find themselves turning gay.
Alex: Yeah, it makes more realistic slash by making the characters come upon it slowly.
Kyle: So you mean these sexual feelings I've found myself having for you all these last few weeks were caused by that?
Michael: Mine too, this has been going on for weeks?
Max: Um, no, only for the last hour or so… I guess the stuff from earlier is actually you…
Alex: Yeah, this is short term, you know, instant gratification.
Kyle: Oh… well, I meant the last hour. Not weeks. *nervous chuckle* It just, felt like weeks you know?
Michael: Yeah, it just felt like weeks…
Max: Uh huh, anyway, it's disabled now.
Alex: So we should return to normal soon.
Kyle: That's good, it'll be great just thinking about women again. Uh huh, just women. Yeah.
Michael: I know what you mean, just T&A the good stuff.
Max: I think they've overcompensating.
Alex: They're in denial about their true feelings for each other.
Kyle: Shut up, I have no feelings for Michael, sure he's hot but that's all. I mean, I'm sure some people find him hot, but not me. I'm straight.
Michael: Me too. So under the influence I thought Kyle would look good wearing a cowboy hat and chaps with nothing else. It's not like it's been my dream, constantly, every night for the last few weeks…
Max: I think we need to wrap this up, and keep watch about the author.
Alex: Yeah, okay, ending this now. I gotta go look at Maxim, I found some nice vidcaps from Xena of Shiri for you Max, so you can take a look. Let's go.
Max: She's in leather, right? Liz in leather… Liz a dominatrix… Mmmmmmmm… Spank me baby one more time.
Max: It's been awhile.
Alex: It has, and don't even start singing Staind, okay?
Michael: It's a good song.
Kyle: It's a good, when done by pros.
Alex: Exactly.
Max: So anyway, this part sucked.
Alex: I know, sheesh, we got molested.
Kyle: I think we'll end up getting it worse.
Michael: Definitely.
Alex: Actually, let's not talk about this story or the author. I actually feel bad for him, but he said if we spoke about what was going on he'd turn this into hardcore triple-x, not NC-17, but Triple-X slash. So, let's just send out condolences and prostitutes.
Michael: Smurf prostitutes? I mean, he has a Smurf fetish.
Kyle: Let's hire someone to dress like a Smurf and strip for him.
Max: Um… ANYWAY… Um, oh yeah. Season finales have come and gone and we got bumped networks.
Michael: FINALLY, I so enjoyed killing that damn frog.
Alex: The WB really porked the pooch on this one. They lost Buffy and then basically handed us over to them. So now we get to follow Buffy, and I will enjoy following her.
Kyle: *cough*Youmeanwatchingherassfrombehind.*cough*
Alex: Like you won't.
Michael: I kind of like Anya actually.
Max: If Dawn wasn't jailbait.
Kyle: Whoa, Max the pedo.
Max: Shut up. I said "if".
Alex: Uh huh.
Kyle: Anyway, anyone else want to destroy the WB for what happened with Popular?
Group: YES.
Kyle: They didn't even give it a real final ep, the ending on a *#&@ CLIFFHANGER, they basically said they didn't give a damn about the fans. I mean, I want to know what happened to Brooke. Did Harrison really choose Sam over her? Is he that stupid? I always thought he'd get with Brooke or Mary Cherry.
Michael: Mary Cherry? She's a nut, no way on those too. But I want to know if Mary got out of the orphanage and reclaimed her Cherryhood with the help of her father RuPaul.
Max: Don't forget about Lily and Josh, I think they're going to get an annulment, they haven't had sex yet so they can. They can find some other way to keep Josh around.
Alex: I'm pissed they didn't have more of Carmen or Suges in the last ep, but I want to know if Nicole killed Brooke, I mean, since it's the finale anything is possible.
Kyle: Man, the WB sucks. I hope they lose all their ratings and become an infomercial channel and that UPN picks up all it's good shows. Man, I wish someone had picked up Popular or Jack and Jill.
Michael: Yeah! I mean, Jack is pregnant but her and Jill aren't getting married, she hadn't even told him. That's a crock, they need to resolve, but will they? Nooooo, because the WB blows.
Max: I want to know if Audrey and Barto finally got back together, I mean, duh, they love each other. It made it seem like they were/would, but I want them to go all the way and get married.
Alex: Screw that, I want Elisa and Mikey to get together. I've been wanting them to hook up for, like, forever. That Elisa chick was so cool.
Kyle: I know, and the damn WB screwed us out of endings for them all, yet kept crap like Felicity. Seriously, since she cut her hair the show hasn't been worth a damn. They should have just dropped Felicity, picked up Young Americans and Jack and Jill and run them full seasons back to back, no reruns.
Michael: Young Americans! YES, I loved that show man. That chick who was posing as a guy was so cool, and the two who thought they were related so needed to find out the truth and get to bumpin'.
Max: Exactly!
Alex: Man, the WB couldn't market it's way out of a paper bag. They couldn't sell sex to horny high schoolers.
Kyle: They couldn't sell Tabasco to an alien.
Michael: They couldn't sell a cat to ALF.
Max: They couldn't sell booze to a country music fan.
Alex: Okay, now that that is settled, any other shows we want to bitch about?
Kyle: Well, Grosse Point, not because it was a good show but because they had some hot women on it.
Michael: Oh I know, Lindsay Sloane was the best, right?
Max: Wasn't she on Sabrina back in the ABC days?
Alex: She was, maybe they'll bring her back on now, that'd be nice. And while they're at it they'll get Sabrina and Harvey back together.
Kyle: What, you don't like the other guy?
Michael: I don't think anyone really does.
Max: I sure don't.
Alex: See, we should have Neilson boxes.
Kyle: Now that would be cool. We could get 7 Days to be high rated on UPN again. Did they cancel it?
Michael: I don't think so, but I don't remember seeing it on the line up next season, I'm hoping it'll be like a mid-season replacement.
Max: That'd be good. I wish networks would learn that they don't have to show a season twice a year in the time slot. There are 52 weeks a year and 22 episodes a season. Why not show one full season of one show, then show a full season of another, then show maybe four catch up episodes and then the next season of the first and so on.
Alex: Simple, that makes too much sense. Networks are all run by morons.
Kyle: Except for the people at UPN who picked us up.
Michael: Well of course, that person is a genius.
Max: They should get a nice big fat raise.
Alex: And lots of sex. Especially if they bring me back.
(Shameless ass kissing to UPN, please don't be offended)
Kyle: And if they bring Buffy back from the dead.
Michael: Dude, they'll bring her back. I know how I want them to do it too. Angel and Spike go on a rampage through the Underworld, rough up the PTB's and get her life returned to her.
Alex: Along with mine.
Max: Sure, right, cross genre crossover.
Alex: Been done before.
Kyle: Not lately.
Michael: Sad but true. Hey, does anyone miss dueSouth too?
Max: YES, I loved that show. Fraser was hot.
Alex: Um… Well, yeah, okay, Fraser was hot in his uniform. So was the second Ray.
Kyle: Oh yeah, now he was a hot piece of… wait, we're talking slashy.
Michael: So? They were hot. Besides, almost all DS fans were into Ray/Fraser stuff.
Max: Wait, I noticed it too… I'm suddenly thinking about attractive men. I mean, yes, Heath Ledger is hot, but why am I suddenly thinking of his ass?
Alex: You all too? And you can have Heath, give me some of Josh Hartnett or Ben Affleck.
Kyle: This is way spooky, and you can keep them as long as I can have both the guys from Dude, Where's My Car? Let me make a manwhich!
Michael: Okay, this isn't right. I just thought Kyle was hot. Something bad is going on. Oh, and I claim James Marsters, anyone argues you go down… actually, maybe you should argue some.
Max: Wait… what's that glowing box in the corner?
Alex: Oh, it's just something that the Author gaves us… OH NO.
Kyle: The Author has slipped a Slashionator in here, hasn't he?
Michael: A what?
Max: It's this device, not sure about much but it makes those in the affected area suddenly find themselves turning gay.
Alex: Yeah, it makes more realistic slash by making the characters come upon it slowly.
Kyle: So you mean these sexual feelings I've found myself having for you all these last few weeks were caused by that?
Michael: Mine too, this has been going on for weeks?
Max: Um, no, only for the last hour or so… I guess the stuff from earlier is actually you…
Alex: Yeah, this is short term, you know, instant gratification.
Kyle: Oh… well, I meant the last hour. Not weeks. *nervous chuckle* It just, felt like weeks you know?
Michael: Yeah, it just felt like weeks…
Max: Uh huh, anyway, it's disabled now.
Alex: So we should return to normal soon.
Kyle: That's good, it'll be great just thinking about women again. Uh huh, just women. Yeah.
Michael: I know what you mean, just T&A the good stuff.
Max: I think they've overcompensating.
Alex: They're in denial about their true feelings for each other.
Kyle: Shut up, I have no feelings for Michael, sure he's hot but that's all. I mean, I'm sure some people find him hot, but not me. I'm straight.
Michael: Me too. So under the influence I thought Kyle would look good wearing a cowboy hat and chaps with nothing else. It's not like it's been my dream, constantly, every night for the last few weeks…
Max: I think we need to wrap this up, and keep watch about the author.
Alex: Yeah, okay, ending this now. I gotta go look at Maxim, I found some nice vidcaps from Xena of Shiri for you Max, so you can take a look. Let's go.
Max: She's in leather, right? Liz in leather… Liz a dominatrix… Mmmmmmmm… Spank me baby one more time.