Part 13, Version .1 (Prelude To Madness, Review Of Previous Insanity)
Fading in for the scene we all see a blackboard. Pulling back from the backboard we see the following men standing in front of it. Alex, Kyle, Michael, Max, Brody, Zan, Rath, Sheriff Valenti and Spike. And of course, all of them are completely naked.
(Story) Great, just back to a part I'm willing to speak in and I already have to speak. Okay, why are they naked?
(Author) I'm shamelessly kissing the ass of my fans by giving them all what they want.
(Story) I thought what they wanted was an all male sweaty orgy.
(Author) That is later.
(Story) I think I'll go find religion and pray now.
So, there they are, NAKED. What, you actually want more than that?
Greedy people.
Alex, naked, steps in front of one blackboard, and, using his *cough* "pointer" does so point to a diagram and begins to speak. "This is a review of previous parts so everyone is caught up." Actually, it's shameless pandering to the women (only?) readers.
"Here's basically what happened. Our girlfriends who we love greatly all were… PMS'ing simultaneously. Well, not being idiots, but by listening to one, the idea came about that we all run out on them and have a guy's getaway. This was Kyle's idea, so we all blame his sorry ass. So leaving our girlfriends a note, we all just left. Stupidly planning to return."
Kyle takes over, naked. "Hey, it wasn't that bad an idea. I couldn't help it if the SUV mysteriously broke down." All characters glare toward the Author. "But it wasn't too bad stripping, except when women from the board 'mysteriously' showed up in the audience and tried to molest me… but, really, who can blame them I'm hot. So we shook it for the ladies wearing space suits, alien heads and thongs."
Michael interrupts, naked. "What Kyle is not mentioning though is that our GIRLFRIENDS showed up during our stripping. Which was actually funny when a drunken Liz tried to yank of Max's thong. After that it went crazy. We thought we got away with it, that the girls didn't know it was us. But unbeknownst to us Tess and Maria knew it was us. So we were screwed and didn't know it yet."
Brody steps forward, naked like everyone else. "I'm not actually in this story, so I'm just here to be seen for you. So, bye."
Rath and Zan both step forward, bare ass naked. "Yo, we ain't in this either so no way I'm sayin' $#*@ about this lame ass story." Then Zan speaks, "Sames here. Yo Rath, wanna go screw?" To which Rath replies, "Duh, let's go." So they leave to go… ANYWAY.
(Story) What the hell was that about?
(Author) They like slash, remember? I know some really like Zan/Rath slash too. So I'm whoring myself out.
(Story) Ah, something you're used to.
Spike, naked as a beautifully carved marble statue, steps forward to speak.
(Story) Excuse me? "naked as a beautifully carved marble statue"? What's up with that?
(Author) Um, duh. He's hot.
(Story) You truly frighten me.
ANWAY, Spike, naked and his ivory body gleaming, steps forward to speak. "I'm only in this a little. Very little. Before I showed up Max destroyed a guy's balls and had to go to the Prom with some chick in Texas. Who cares, let's talk about me. So they come to my little Sunnyhell, so of course I introduce them to the Slayer. I like the guys, they're all odd and not entirely human. The Slayer of course dislikes them, and they basically kick her ass in a very humorous fashion, then Alex makes a comment about how her ass looks and they take off running. Oh, and if anyone wonders. Smurfette is great in bed."
Sheriff Valenti steps up to speak, wearing nothing but his cowboy hat. "Well after that it seems that the boys decided to do a little underage drinking. Kyle and Michael were dancing with some 'ladies' while Alex and Max sat at the bar getting hit on by some guys, next thing you know, Max and Alex were hitting back with their fists and all hell broke loose. Kyle and Michael found out the hard way that the 'women' they were dancing with were actually transvestites, then came a massive bar room brawl and the kids hit the road speeding, where they got locked up and I had to call the police down there and get them released. Blasted kids."
Max, finally, steps forward. Completely naked, his large man boobs on display and his ears shining. "Well, then we came home. Various male posturing and such. What we didn't know was that Tess had got permission from the Sheriff to punish us. So we were walking home to an ambush. Once home the girls started hurting us, though we didn't know it was them, after we greeted, said hi, kissed butt and made out. They made me an Alex dream we were conjoined by our … you know… and that I got the 'short end of the STick' *cough* so when I woke up I was innocently making sure I was still equipped when my lame ass sister walked in and accused me of 'handling things' with her hand _lotion_, which I still say I wasn't. Alex shared the dream with me, and it was really cruel of them all to do this. It seems Kyle and Michael got off easy, just some naked Village People and YMCA and Macarena stuff. That's enough of a review."
With the end near, all the guys turn their backs to the readers, shake their butts, turn around, shake their *CENSORED* and then take a bow and walk away. On the blackboard the words are written "The Smurfs Are Coming" and then they mysteriously disappear.
The Audience of Smurfs applauds.
Fade out, soon there shall be another part.
Fading in for the scene we all see a blackboard. Pulling back from the backboard we see the following men standing in front of it. Alex, Kyle, Michael, Max, Brody, Zan, Rath, Sheriff Valenti and Spike. And of course, all of them are completely naked.
(Story) Great, just back to a part I'm willing to speak in and I already have to speak. Okay, why are they naked?
(Author) I'm shamelessly kissing the ass of my fans by giving them all what they want.
(Story) I thought what they wanted was an all male sweaty orgy.
(Author) That is later.
(Story) I think I'll go find religion and pray now.
So, there they are, NAKED. What, you actually want more than that?
Greedy people.
Alex, naked, steps in front of one blackboard, and, using his *cough* "pointer" does so point to a diagram and begins to speak. "This is a review of previous parts so everyone is caught up." Actually, it's shameless pandering to the women (only?) readers.
"Here's basically what happened. Our girlfriends who we love greatly all were… PMS'ing simultaneously. Well, not being idiots, but by listening to one, the idea came about that we all run out on them and have a guy's getaway. This was Kyle's idea, so we all blame his sorry ass. So leaving our girlfriends a note, we all just left. Stupidly planning to return."
Kyle takes over, naked. "Hey, it wasn't that bad an idea. I couldn't help it if the SUV mysteriously broke down." All characters glare toward the Author. "But it wasn't too bad stripping, except when women from the board 'mysteriously' showed up in the audience and tried to molest me… but, really, who can blame them I'm hot. So we shook it for the ladies wearing space suits, alien heads and thongs."
Michael interrupts, naked. "What Kyle is not mentioning though is that our GIRLFRIENDS showed up during our stripping. Which was actually funny when a drunken Liz tried to yank of Max's thong. After that it went crazy. We thought we got away with it, that the girls didn't know it was us. But unbeknownst to us Tess and Maria knew it was us. So we were screwed and didn't know it yet."
Brody steps forward, naked like everyone else. "I'm not actually in this story, so I'm just here to be seen for you. So, bye."
Rath and Zan both step forward, bare ass naked. "Yo, we ain't in this either so no way I'm sayin' $#*@ about this lame ass story." Then Zan speaks, "Sames here. Yo Rath, wanna go screw?" To which Rath replies, "Duh, let's go." So they leave to go… ANYWAY.
(Story) What the hell was that about?
(Author) They like slash, remember? I know some really like Zan/Rath slash too. So I'm whoring myself out.
(Story) Ah, something you're used to.
Spike, naked as a beautifully carved marble statue, steps forward to speak.
(Story) Excuse me? "naked as a beautifully carved marble statue"? What's up with that?
(Author) Um, duh. He's hot.
(Story) You truly frighten me.
ANWAY, Spike, naked and his ivory body gleaming, steps forward to speak. "I'm only in this a little. Very little. Before I showed up Max destroyed a guy's balls and had to go to the Prom with some chick in Texas. Who cares, let's talk about me. So they come to my little Sunnyhell, so of course I introduce them to the Slayer. I like the guys, they're all odd and not entirely human. The Slayer of course dislikes them, and they basically kick her ass in a very humorous fashion, then Alex makes a comment about how her ass looks and they take off running. Oh, and if anyone wonders. Smurfette is great in bed."
Sheriff Valenti steps up to speak, wearing nothing but his cowboy hat. "Well after that it seems that the boys decided to do a little underage drinking. Kyle and Michael were dancing with some 'ladies' while Alex and Max sat at the bar getting hit on by some guys, next thing you know, Max and Alex were hitting back with their fists and all hell broke loose. Kyle and Michael found out the hard way that the 'women' they were dancing with were actually transvestites, then came a massive bar room brawl and the kids hit the road speeding, where they got locked up and I had to call the police down there and get them released. Blasted kids."
Max, finally, steps forward. Completely naked, his large man boobs on display and his ears shining. "Well, then we came home. Various male posturing and such. What we didn't know was that Tess had got permission from the Sheriff to punish us. So we were walking home to an ambush. Once home the girls started hurting us, though we didn't know it was them, after we greeted, said hi, kissed butt and made out. They made me an Alex dream we were conjoined by our … you know… and that I got the 'short end of the STick' *cough* so when I woke up I was innocently making sure I was still equipped when my lame ass sister walked in and accused me of 'handling things' with her hand _lotion_, which I still say I wasn't. Alex shared the dream with me, and it was really cruel of them all to do this. It seems Kyle and Michael got off easy, just some naked Village People and YMCA and Macarena stuff. That's enough of a review."
With the end near, all the guys turn their backs to the readers, shake their butts, turn around, shake their *CENSORED* and then take a bow and walk away. On the blackboard the words are written "The Smurfs Are Coming" and then they mysteriously disappear.
The Audience of Smurfs applauds.
Fade out, soon there shall be another part.