Harry Potter and his whole world belong to JK Rowling. I am borrowing a few characters from her.

Sirius Revisited

Sirius was beaming up at Harry. Harry felt as though his knees were about to collapse, so he sat on the floor. He made no effort to stop the smile spreading across his face. He was seeing his godfather once more. He fought back more tears, these ones purely joy.

He looked up to tell the others to come see, and saw that each of them had stopped dead in their tracks. Ron, Hermione and Ginny were all white, but they looked grey next to Remus. He was holding his breath, his hands had gone so limp that he'd dropped his wand to the floor and he was staring at the mirror in Harry's hands. It looked as though he was fighting with himself. Fighting something. Hope, maybe.

Harry looked back down at Sirius and saw that his smile had faltered a little.

"What's going on, Harry?" Sirius asked quietly. "Are you alright?"

Harry shook his head and looked back up at Remus. He hadn't moved a muscle, hadn't breathed. Harry looked him straight in the eye.

"It's him, Remus. He's finally answered us. Come and talk to him!"

Remus was at his side in an instant. His eyes were shining with unshed tears. He stood behind Harry and looked down at Sirius' face.

"Sirius," he said softly. Sirius beamed at him again.

"Moony, old friend, how the hell are you?"

Ron, Hermione and Ginny had all joined Remus and Harry at the mirror. Hermione took one look at Sirius and burst into tears.

"Hermione? Look, would somebody please tell me what's going on?" Sirius said, fear leaping into his eyes.

"What's going on?" Hermione burst out for the second time that night. "What's going on? You're dead! That's what's going on, you prat! You died, and you left Harry. No, you left all of us, and we miss you and we're so happy to see you, and oh Sirius, I'm so sorry!" She buried her face in her hands, sobbing as though her heart was breaking. Sirius continued to look concerned.

"Hermione," he began, his voice thick. She shook her head and continued to cry. "Hermione," he said insistently. "What are you sorry for?"

She looked at him again, tears still pouring down her cheeks. Ron slipped an arm around her shoulders quickly. She rested her head against him and then sighed.

"I'm sorry for the way I treated you last year, Sirius. I thought you were being…I don't know. Irresponsible, I guess. But I understand now. You only wanted to see Harry."

Sirius laughed, and to Harry it was the most wonderful sound in the world. "Hermione, I was being irresponsible. Regardless of whether I wanted to see Harry or not, I was irresponsible. Well, in some regards. Not all." He turned his eyes back to Harry and Remus. "You two look tired."

"We are tired," Remus answered. Sirius nodded.

"I'm sorry, Moony," he whispered. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to leave you. I wish I were there instead of here."

Remus nodded. "I know, Padfoot. I know." He squeezed Harry's shoulder gently. "We'll let you two talk, alright?" Harry knew it was taking everything Remus possessed to leave right this moment. He knew that Remus wanted to stay and talk with Sirius. He was leaving for Harry's sake.

Sirius nodded, not taking his eyes from Remus' face. "Come back when we're done, Moony. I want to speak with you as well." He turned to Hermione and the two Weasleys and smiled. "I want to speak to the three of you as well, but right now I want to speak with Harry." They nodded and moved to the other side of the room with Remus.

"Sirius," Harry whispered. It was the first time he'd spoken directly to Sirius since he'd appeared in the mirror. Sirius had tears in his eyes.
"Harry, I'm so sorry I left you. You've suffered more than anyone can possibly understand and it kills me to know that I've made you suffer even more. But I couldn't sit at headquarters, knowing that you were here, trying to save me. I couldn't just sit back and let you get hurt…or worse." A lone tear had trickled down Sirius' cheek. "I was never worth that. Never worth your life."

Harry felt his chin tremble and knew that he was dangerously close to tears again, as he had been since they'd entered the Death Room. He shook his head at Sirius. He opened his mouth to argue, but Sirius cut him off.

"Don't argue with me, Harry. Believe me, believe me. I would rather it be me, than you."
And Harry believed him. There was nothing else for it. Sirius had never, in the whole time that Harry had known him, lied to Harry. There was no reason to now.

"I miss you," he said, his voice breaking. "I still need you here, damn it."
Sirius nodded, more tears slipping from his eyes. "I know, Harry. I wish to hell that I was still there. I wish I could watch you grow up. Not that you're not already grown up, but you know what I mean. I don't think you've ever been a child."

Harry shook his head, but said nothing more. He thought he would do like Hermione and burst into tears if he opened his mouth.

"I miss you also, Harry. I'm so happy that we got a little time together though, no matter how short it was."

Harry took a deep breath, finally able to force the lump in his throat down.

"I'm so glad that this worked, Sirius," he said, his face breaking into a smile once more. "We've been here for hours."

Sirius nodded again. "I know. I could hear you all screaming my name, but I couldn't find the mirror. It's a little hard to see in here. I like the mirror, by the way. Who picked it out?"

"Fred and George. Ron asked them to pick up two mirrors, and they picked up that one and one with brooms all over it. I think they all knew more than they let on."

Sirius chuckled. "Clever, those two. Not quite as clever as your dad and I, but clever all the same."

Harry grinned. His smile froze, however, when Sirius asked what was going on with Voldemort.

"I haven't heard anything," Harry said honestly. "Malfoy managed to buy his way out of prison, but it wasn't too hard, because the Dementors revolted not long after…erm, a while ago. Other than that, there's been nothing. I think Voldemort's laying low, because Dumbledore put a lot of his Death Eaters back into Azkaban."

Sirius nodded.

"Was Bellatrix one of them?"

Harry shook his head. "No. She got away with Voldemort after I chased her down."

"You what?" Sirius exploded. "Harry, you did what?"

Harry looked up to find that the others had looked over at him, wondering why Sirius was so angry.

"Well, what did you expect?" Harry asked sourly. "She'd just killed you. I was going to kill her."

For a moment, Harry thought Sirius was going to come through the mirror at him and shake him. His eyes were wild with panic and he shoved a hand through his hair. He glared up at Harry.

"You listen to me, Harry. Listen close. You are NOT to go after Voldemort on your own. Or any of the Death Eaters. Do you hear me? Leave it to someone older, someone with more experience. Leave it to the Order. Do you understand, Harry?"

Harry snorted. He could feel laughter welling up inside him.

"You don't get it, do you?" he asked Sirius, rather hysterically. "I have to go after Voldemort. Nobody else can! You never heard the prophecy, did you? I have to kill Voldemort, I'm the only one who can!"
He stood up and started to pace once more. He rubbed his forehead, trying to remember what the prophecy had said. He stopped and looked down at Sirius once more.

"The prophecy said 'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches… born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies…and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not…and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives.' Don't you understand, Sirius? I have to murder Voldemort, or else he'll kill me, and then nobody will be able to stop him."
Sirius had gone white. He hadn't said a thing, just let Harry rant. Now he rubbed his eyes.

"Did Dumbledore tell you that? Why the hell didn't he tell the rest of us? Harry, it's too big…I can't…you can't…It's you for sure?"

Harry nodded. "There were two people it could have been. Neville Longbottom, or me. When Voldemort attacked my parents, he marked me as his equal. Dumbledore says that there is no doubt that it is me. After you went through the veil, Voldemort tried to possess me, trying to get Dumbledore to sacrifice me to kill him, but he couldn't, because of this power that I have. The power that I have hurts Voldemort."
"What power?" Sirius asked. "The sacrifice? The power left from when your mother sacrificed herself for you?"

Harry shook his head. "I'm not sure. Dumbledore said it was my heart that saved me. I figured that he meant that it was love that saved me again, as it did in my first year against Quirrel. I was a little…um…angry when he told me, though. I probably didn't listen properly. I am going to go see him when I get back to Hogwarts to ask."
Harry hadn't even thought of that before this moment, but as he said it, he realized that it was a good idea. He'd had time to get over being angry, and would be able to sit and listen this time.

Sirius was looking up at him, studying him intently. He nodded yet again when Harry looked back.

"That's a good idea, Harry."

Harry could see what looked to be a ghostly tree in behind Sirius. Sirius appeared to be leaning against it. The tree was brown, but it was slightly blurred at the edges.

"I keep having dreams about you, Sirius," he blurted out quietly. Sirius raised his eyebrows.

"Naturally," he said, a grin flitting across his face.

Harry laughed. "They're not nice dreams. I keep dreaming that you're being tortured."

Harry saw something flash in Sirius' eyes, but it was gone so fast that he figured he imagined it. "Are you okay, Sirius?"

Sirius looked up at Harry again, his eyes narrowed slightly. "I'm as well as I can be, Harry. I'm not being tortured. Not physically, anyway. Mentally, it's torture to be here, when I know that I should be there with you. Is Voldemort getting into your mind again?"
"No," Harry answered right away. "Dumbledore said he can't anymore."

"Good," Sirius answered. "Good." He moved a bit and Harry noticed the tree once again.

"Is that place nice?" he asked before he could stop himself.

Sirius smiled grimly. "Not particularly. It's dreadfully dead in here."

Harry glared at his godfather. "That isn't funny."

"It wasn't meant to be, not really."

Harry shook his head. "Are there others there? Or is it just you?"
"Oh, no, Harry, there's tons of people here. Not all of them are very nice, but many of them are wonderful. There's just not a lot to do, and to be honest, I miss butterbeer. And I miss Mrs Weasley's cooking. I miss you and Remus, mostly. I almost miss my mother and Kreacher. How are those two toe rags?"

Harry sniggered. "Dead," he said.

"Well, I know my mother is, the hag has been dead for years."

"No, I mean gone. I lost my temper at her one day, and was about to put the Reductor Curse on her-"
"You used magic?" Sirius exclaimed. "Again?"

Harry shook his head impatiently. "No, I didn't. If you'd let me talk, I'd tell you."
Sirius laughed. "Okay, tell me."

"Okay, so I was about to use the Reductor Curse on her, I'd even gotten the word halfway out when Remus stopped me. He and I sat to have a butterbeer and he told me how you'd gotten rid of the tapestry with your family tree on it."
Sirius smiled, his eyes glazed, as though remembering. "That was a good day," he said quietly.

"That's what Remus said too. He said it had been ages since he'd seen you so happy. Anyhow, he asked me if I wanted him to get rid of her. He said that he wouldn't take out the whole wall, like you did-"
"He always was cautious. Always wanting to spare other people's things."

Harry smiled. That was Remus all right. "So we walked up to her, friendly like, and she's shrieking at us, the usual rant. Remus told her to shut up; he used the Silencing Charm on her. We talked, we said goodbye, and Remus blew her up."

Sirius gave a bark of laughter. "Bloody brilliant, Moony!" he said loudly. Harry looked up to see Remus watching them.

"And Kreacher?" Sirius asked eagerly.

"Well…Remus' last transformation, he got a bad potion. It didn't work properly, but he was shut up in headquarters, luckily. Dumbledore must have put Unbreakable Charms on the windows or something. And even luckier, nobody dropped by. But he was alone in the house, except for Kreacher…and apparently house-elves are-"
"He ate him?" Sirius asked, aghast. "Are you joking?"

Harry shook his head. The mirror jolted as Sirius fell over, laughing so hard it looked as though his robes would split.

"I'm happy that you find it so funny, Padfoot. Ron and Harry thought it amusing as well. Hermione wasn't sure what to think." Remus had wandered over, probably wondering why Sirius kept shouting at Harry. "And I still maintain that it was the wolf, it wasn't me."

This made Sirius laugh even harder. He was crying from laughing so hard. He sat up and pointed at Remus. "I couldn't think of a better end for Kreacher!"

"That's what Hermione said too," Harry said.

"Have you seen Lily and James yet, Sirius?" Remus asked softly. Sirius stopped laughing at once and looked at his friend. He shook his head.

"Lily and James aren't here, Moony," he answered, just as quietly. Harry's head snapped back to the mirror.

"What do you mean, not there?" he demanded. "Where else would they be? Where are you?" Remus laid a hand on his shoulder, calming him.

"What do you mean, Sirius?" he said calmly, but there was an edge of steel in his voice.

"I mean that James and Lily are in a different place than I am. I searched for them for the first few days. I looked and I asked questions and everyone told me that people who died by wand and by natural causes aren't here."

"But you all go to the same place, don't you?" Harry asked desperately. "My parents have to be there!"

Sirius shook his head. "They're in a different place, Harry. A better place. You see, your parents are dead."

This statement was so absurd that Harry and Remus looked up at each other before staring back down at Remus.

"Well, you see, I knew that already," Harry said. Remus chuckled. Sirius smiled sadly.

"You misunderstand me. Your parents have moved on, because they died. I can't move on, because I'm in limbo."

Remus started. He dropped his wand in shock once more. He stared at the mirror in Harry's hand.

"What?" he demanded. "You're what?"

"In limbo," Sirius answered flatly. "I'm not dead, Moony."