Part 13, Ver. 8.0 Wrong – MST3k, Roswell Style
"When the future looks too bright, can't be anything but right…. WRONG." - Waylon Jennings
(Liz) Oh, it's a bad sign when a part starts off quoting music.
(Isabel) Especially country music.
(Tess) There's nothing wrong with country music.
(Maria) You're only saying that because your "Woozle" likes that crap.
(Tess) Don't insult my Woozle.
(Isabel) Oh come on, he's the Chia head.
(Tess) Isabel, don't go there. Your boyfriend and brother both have Dumbo ears.
(Liz) Hey, leave Max out of this short stop.
(Maria) Yeah, it's not Liz's fault her boyfriend has ears that make Will Smith's look small.
(Liz) Ye.. wait, You're one to talk Maria, your boyfriend is so dysfunctional Jerry Springer wouldn't touch him.
(Maria) Oh no you didn't, you did not just go there.
(Isabel) Hey, calm down. Let's not get into this because of the stupid Woozle.
(Tess) The Woozle is not stupid you Amazon.
(Isabel) What did you call me?
(Tess) You heard me you Amazon, you could date The Big Show in the WWF and be at the right height for him.
(Isabel) Hell, you're so small you could date a damn Smurf, wait, maybe you're Smurfette with lots of make up on.
(Liz) Hey, come on, you were right, let's just calm down.
(Tess) Oh shut up Liz you goody-two shoes pain in the ass.
(Liz) Oh bite me you hussy.
(Maria) SHUT UP ALL OF YOU, now I know why we never get an interlude.
(Liz) We weren't that bad were we?
(Tess) I think we were, we're worse than the guys.
(Isabel) Now that's depressing.
It was a time of love and happiness. Love filled eyes, hand holding, smiles and kissing were among the happy couples. Max and Liz with their sappy soul filled eye crap, Alex and Isabel holding hands and smiling, and Michael and Kyle kissing. All was good except, you know, the blonde bimbettes who tried to screw with their boyfriend's minds and all.
(Maria) Does this Author have something against us?
(Tess) I know, I mean, really, sure we'd have mindwarped the guys like that, but we don't deserve this treatment.
(Liz) I think he's venting anger, taking out his personal life on us.
(Isabel) At least he isn't writing any porno fics about us. He seems quite warped.
(Tess) I don't know, he seems to like me a lot.
(Maria) Yeah, but he likes me too, so he'd probably do one with us both, if you know what I mean.
(Tess) Ew, let's just move along. Besides, I like the ones with Izzy better.
All looked to be going good, except for those two, but hell, they brought it on themselves. So of course, things had to change.
(All The Girls) OF COURSE.
(Maria) This is painful to read.
(Liz) I know, and he made it like this on purpose.
(Tess) Is it possible for us to call his world and get him committed?
(Isabel) I wish, he sure needs some help.
It started that morning, when Isabel picked up a letter from the mail to give to her brother later when she saw him. As luck would have it, they didn't see each other until that night at the Crashdown… but see, that's just before the black DeSoto pulled up outside of the Crashdown and parked.
(Isabel) How nice of him to spell everything out. Yes, we're all simpletons.
(Maria) Well, we aren't. I'm not so sure about his readers though.
(Liz) That was rude, you shouldn't insult them like that.
(Tess) Yeah, you piss them off they may write stories of their own. We don't want fans of his writing do we?
Sitting in the Crashdown, Isabel and Alex on one side of the booth and Max and Liz on the other, with Michael and Kyle were sitting behind Max and Liz and Tess and Maria sitting behind Isabel and Alex, Isabel remembered the letter for Max.
(Maria) And Jan and Peter were at the counter…
(Tess) And Cindy and Bobby in a corner booth…
(Liz) And Greg and Marcia were making out in the furthest booth…
(Isabel) And Carol and Alice were sitting in another booth while Mike made a pass at Jeff Parker…
(Liz) EW, that's my dad.
"Hey Max, this came in the mail for you today. I meant to give it to you earlier." Said Izzy.
(Isabel) Oh yes, please use that nickname for me. *I JUST SO LOVE IT!*
(Tess) Um, tone your sarcasm down a scotche.
(Isabel) Bite me blondie.
(Tess) Girls in peroxide bottles should not throw hair color.
(Liz) I like that one, I'll have to remember it.
(Maria) I'm staying out of this one, my hair color's changed so much I'd be a sitting duck.
"Oh, thanks, wonder what it is." Max took the letter and opened it, once he saw what was inside he paled then quickly put the contents back in the envelope.
(Tess) "Inside he found pictures of himself taking advantage of Michael while he was passed out the other night. Max planned to keep this pictures for his private use."
(Liz, Maria, & Isabel) EW, That's my boyfriend/brother you were talking about!
(Tess) So?
Liz, the caring fool she is worried about Max, "Max hon, what's wrong. Let me see the letter, it can't be that bad." Then, being a typical woman she just grabbed the letter out of his hand and looked in… And what she saw made her see red, after she saw what was inside. Inside were pictures of Max and another girl, clearly Prom pictures.
(Liz) I'm not a fool, damn Author. I'm about ready to get peeved at him.
(Isabel) Oh no, don't get peeved! *sarcasm*
(Tess) Was I the only one who knew that the whole Prom thing would come back to bite him in the ass?
(Maria) I had the feeling it would.
HER MAX had gone to the Prom with another girl. HER MAX had lied and said nothing else had happened on the trip. HER MAX had left details out. HER MAX was going to die now.
(Liz) Well, if he did that, yeah, he'd die.
(Maria) LIZ! But, that's violent.
(Liz) Well, if the ****er dares do a **** thing with another woman where he wasn't mindwarped I would shine up my black stilettos, turn them sideways and shove them right up his CANDY ASS!
(Isabel) I think Liz has been watching the WWF again.
(Tess) That's my fault, I was educating her on the beauty of the Hardy Boys.
"Max, honey. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?!?" Liz screamed, throwing the pictures on the table where Isabel and Alex could see. Alex muttered something like "old hits" and Isabel looked at the pictures vaguely wondering when her brother grew a pair. Kyle and Michael, sitting right beside them, as well as Tess and Maria, all got up and saw the pictures. Both the guys smirked a little, while the other girls were preparing to help Liz lynch Max… by his balls.
(Liz) THAT'S RIGHT, HE ****ING WENT TO A ****ING PROM WITH ANOTHER ****ING GIRL. LET'S RIP HIS ****ING BALLS OFF RIGHT ****ING NOW.
(Maria) Lizzie hon, you love Max. You want to use his balls one day, remember?
(Isabel) I so do not need to be hearing this. And since when did Liz become such a foul-mouthed psycho?
(Tess whispers to Isabel) My bet is on Aunt Rose paying a visit.
As Max was backing up, sputtering and trying to figure out how he was going to get out of this, the door to the Crashdown opened, and in walked an ivory god in black leather. Yes, Spike had arrived.
(All The Ladies) Mmmmmmm Spike…
(Tess) Give me some of that white chocolate God!
(Maria) Get in line, he's all mine.
(Liz) You can have most of him, but I want a piece of him and you know what piece I want.
(Isabel) Safe some for me, I want to know if that white chocolate melts in your mouth and not in your hand.
"Hey mates, Max, you look like the Slayer's coming for you." He said in his cockney voice.
(All The Ladies) Oh his voice…
"Um, I'm afraid I'm about to be castrated." Max said, wondering if Spike might help him.
(Liz) YEAH, Spike should castrate him and then do me to help me get over him.
(Maria) Liz, when did you get to be such a wanton woman?
(Liz) When I saw Spike, that I'd like to do to that man… Hrm, maybe I shouldn't have Max castrated, maybe I could use them both.
(Isabel) HELLO? That's my brother, that's just… ICK, I mean, we're aliens we aren't from the South.
(Tess) I don't know, Liz isn't the first to imagine your brother and Spike working as a team, though I usually have my Woozle head up the team.
(Maria) I have Michael head up mine.
(Isabel) Am I the only one who hasn't had a sexual thought about my brother?
(Maria and Liz) Yes.
(Tess) Hey, I've dreamwalked you, I know you've had them too!
(Isabel) Uh, no I haven't, let's move on, yeah.
Well, Spike had helped him some already, his presence had the women drooling, and that was good.
(Isabel) Damn, the Author's actually right for once.
"Hey Alex, good to see you. Man, the Slayer was pissed at you for talking about how good her ass looked." Spike said, before heading over to stand by Kyle and Michael, who both were fighting back tears and restraining their laughter.
(Isabel) Well, I'd be pissed at him for not telling me. But, this is Buffy and she's hot.
(Tess) She really is, I mean, I don't really go that way anymore, but she's one who I'd do.
(Maria) Yeah same here… Wait, what do you mean anymore?
(Liz) Yeah, what do you mean anymore?
(Tess) Um, hehe, let's keep moving okay?
Isabel heard what Spike said, and so did Alex… Alex paled, said a prayer and turned to look at his girlfriend who currently looked, not like an Ice Princess but a fiery hell bitch. Alex almost wet himself when Isabel smiled sweetly at him, the smile was sweet… but the voice she used… "Alex, hon, you didn't tell me about meeting this man. Or about commenting on some bimbo's ass. I suggest you get over beside Max so we can KILL BOTH YOU SORRY ASS MEN AT THE SAME TIME." With that, Alex whimpered and then ran to Max.
(Isabel) He better pray, because that's the only way his ass will survive.
(Liz) Both our guys are going to be castrated, what should we do?
(Isabel) Worse comes to worse, we got each other.
(Maria) That sounds kinky.
(Tess) Can I watch?
(Liz) Let's not talk about this, you're disturbing me.
Spike was standing next to Kyle and Michael during this smiling at the exchange. "So mates, what've I missed?"
(All The Ladies) Spike's voice… Aaahhhhhhh….
Kyle started the long reply, "Well, quick catch up. Michael and I dumped our girlfriends for each other after a drunken night of love making." Kyle then whispered quickly "We're just pretending to get revenge, play along." Then in a regular voice, "We got back, the girls were pissed at Max and Alex, but they butt kissed their way out of it."
(Maria) Yeah, that SO won't backfire will it?
(Liz) Of course it will.
(Isabel) They'll never have sex, that's for sure.
(Tess) Of course they'll have sex, just not with women. Just with each other. And I'd like to watch that.
(Maria) Me too actually.
(Isabel) That's just… wait, I can picture it.
(Liz) I'll watch, but all this is disturbing me.
Michael took his turn explaining, "Under the terms that they tell the whole truth, they both seemed to leave out some things. Max left out the fact he attended the prom with a girl in Texas, and Alex left out his drooling over another girl's ass. So now, we're about to watch them be castrated by their girlfriends and our ex's, who are still pissed and looking for someone to take it out on."
(Maria) Give us time Spaceboy, your ass is next.
(Tess) Do you mean for something bad to happen to or for Kyle to…
(Liz) ENOUGH, please try and control yourself.
(Isabel) They're as bad as the guys. Or the Author.
Spike decided to be, what else, EVIL. "You know mates, I wouldn't have taken you to be the ones to go to the same side of the sport. Max always struck me as a closet case."
(All The Ladies) Spike's voice…. Aaaaahhhhhhhhh…
(Liz) Wait! Why does everyone keep thinking my Maxie is gay?
(Maria) Maybe it has something to do with how he's always eying Michael's butt?
(Tess) Yeah, he's so got it for Michael's butt. You could see it to with Rath, he looked at Max and Max looked back and you just knew they were wanting a little sumthin-sumthin'.
(Isabel) I am not hearing this, my brother is not gay. At the very least he's bi.
(Liz) You aren't helping, so help me I might just find some stilettos for you three as well.
(Maria) That's my Lizzie, she's turning into a freaky-deaky.
Having said this, Max turned his head quickly to sputter at Spike. Just in time to get punched in the face then kneed in the groin by his girlfriend. That was the point at which the ladies descended on the men like, what else, locusts. Punching, kicking and clawing at Max and Alex until not much was left on the floor but two men curled into the fetal position faintly crying for their mommies.
(All The Ladies) WHOO HOO.
"You know, you don't see stuff like this back in Sunnyhell, I'm glad I made the trip out here. I get to see two men weep like babies and I can see your faces when I tell you about who's been stalking you all."
(All The Ladies) Spike's voice…. Aaaahhhhhhh…
"Stalking us? What're you talking about?" Kyle said, unable to keep from smiling about the whooping he saw.
(Tess) That's my boy, laughing at Max's pain.
(Liz) It's not nice.
(Tess) He still has some issues about the whole you thing and me thing and salvation thing.
(Maria) He's being an ingrate.
(Isabel) He's being a jerk.
(Tess) He's being a guy.
"Well, you're being stalked by some very odd little creatures. I'm not sure if they're dangerous or not." Spike said, drawing the whole thing out.
(All The Ladies) Spike's voice… Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh…
"Yeah, but what's stalking us?" Michael said, impatiently.
(Maria) Yep, he's always impatient.
(Tess) Yeah, but is he *always* impatient?
(Isabel) Ew, he's like a brother to me.
(Liz) Not to me, so, is he?
(Maria) I could tell you some stories…
"You're being stalked by Smurfs." Spike said.
(All The Ladies) Spike's voice… Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh….
One of the Aliens on the wall of the alien themed café slowly moved away, then ran outside. Once there it removed it's alien head mask to reveal a Smurf's head…
(Isabel) What is it with this Author's Smurf obsession?
(Maria) I don't know, maybe he likes them because they're small enough he could, you know, do them with out problems.
(Liz) MARIA! That's just cruel! And don't make the Author mad, he could still write us evil.
(Tess) Yeah, no angering the Author. If he's got a Smurf obsession, fine then. At this point I'd do anything to keep from getting messed with in the story.
(Isabel) Um, Tess, I'd be careful about saying "I'd do anything" around this Author, he might try and take you up on it.
(Liz) Yeah, I mean, he's kind of… you know…
(Maria) He's a guy, you give him a chance he'll try and get some.
(Tess) Hey, you forget, this is the Hussy you're talking to…
"When the future looks too bright, can't be anything but right…. WRONG." - Waylon Jennings
(Liz) Oh, it's a bad sign when a part starts off quoting music.
(Isabel) Especially country music.
(Tess) There's nothing wrong with country music.
(Maria) You're only saying that because your "Woozle" likes that crap.
(Tess) Don't insult my Woozle.
(Isabel) Oh come on, he's the Chia head.
(Tess) Isabel, don't go there. Your boyfriend and brother both have Dumbo ears.
(Liz) Hey, leave Max out of this short stop.
(Maria) Yeah, it's not Liz's fault her boyfriend has ears that make Will Smith's look small.
(Liz) Ye.. wait, You're one to talk Maria, your boyfriend is so dysfunctional Jerry Springer wouldn't touch him.
(Maria) Oh no you didn't, you did not just go there.
(Isabel) Hey, calm down. Let's not get into this because of the stupid Woozle.
(Tess) The Woozle is not stupid you Amazon.
(Isabel) What did you call me?
(Tess) You heard me you Amazon, you could date The Big Show in the WWF and be at the right height for him.
(Isabel) Hell, you're so small you could date a damn Smurf, wait, maybe you're Smurfette with lots of make up on.
(Liz) Hey, come on, you were right, let's just calm down.
(Tess) Oh shut up Liz you goody-two shoes pain in the ass.
(Liz) Oh bite me you hussy.
(Maria) SHUT UP ALL OF YOU, now I know why we never get an interlude.
(Liz) We weren't that bad were we?
(Tess) I think we were, we're worse than the guys.
(Isabel) Now that's depressing.
It was a time of love and happiness. Love filled eyes, hand holding, smiles and kissing were among the happy couples. Max and Liz with their sappy soul filled eye crap, Alex and Isabel holding hands and smiling, and Michael and Kyle kissing. All was good except, you know, the blonde bimbettes who tried to screw with their boyfriend's minds and all.
(Maria) Does this Author have something against us?
(Tess) I know, I mean, really, sure we'd have mindwarped the guys like that, but we don't deserve this treatment.
(Liz) I think he's venting anger, taking out his personal life on us.
(Isabel) At least he isn't writing any porno fics about us. He seems quite warped.
(Tess) I don't know, he seems to like me a lot.
(Maria) Yeah, but he likes me too, so he'd probably do one with us both, if you know what I mean.
(Tess) Ew, let's just move along. Besides, I like the ones with Izzy better.
All looked to be going good, except for those two, but hell, they brought it on themselves. So of course, things had to change.
(All The Girls) OF COURSE.
(Maria) This is painful to read.
(Liz) I know, and he made it like this on purpose.
(Tess) Is it possible for us to call his world and get him committed?
(Isabel) I wish, he sure needs some help.
It started that morning, when Isabel picked up a letter from the mail to give to her brother later when she saw him. As luck would have it, they didn't see each other until that night at the Crashdown… but see, that's just before the black DeSoto pulled up outside of the Crashdown and parked.
(Isabel) How nice of him to spell everything out. Yes, we're all simpletons.
(Maria) Well, we aren't. I'm not so sure about his readers though.
(Liz) That was rude, you shouldn't insult them like that.
(Tess) Yeah, you piss them off they may write stories of their own. We don't want fans of his writing do we?
Sitting in the Crashdown, Isabel and Alex on one side of the booth and Max and Liz on the other, with Michael and Kyle were sitting behind Max and Liz and Tess and Maria sitting behind Isabel and Alex, Isabel remembered the letter for Max.
(Maria) And Jan and Peter were at the counter…
(Tess) And Cindy and Bobby in a corner booth…
(Liz) And Greg and Marcia were making out in the furthest booth…
(Isabel) And Carol and Alice were sitting in another booth while Mike made a pass at Jeff Parker…
(Liz) EW, that's my dad.
"Hey Max, this came in the mail for you today. I meant to give it to you earlier." Said Izzy.
(Isabel) Oh yes, please use that nickname for me. *I JUST SO LOVE IT!*
(Tess) Um, tone your sarcasm down a scotche.
(Isabel) Bite me blondie.
(Tess) Girls in peroxide bottles should not throw hair color.
(Liz) I like that one, I'll have to remember it.
(Maria) I'm staying out of this one, my hair color's changed so much I'd be a sitting duck.
"Oh, thanks, wonder what it is." Max took the letter and opened it, once he saw what was inside he paled then quickly put the contents back in the envelope.
(Tess) "Inside he found pictures of himself taking advantage of Michael while he was passed out the other night. Max planned to keep this pictures for his private use."
(Liz, Maria, & Isabel) EW, That's my boyfriend/brother you were talking about!
(Tess) So?
Liz, the caring fool she is worried about Max, "Max hon, what's wrong. Let me see the letter, it can't be that bad." Then, being a typical woman she just grabbed the letter out of his hand and looked in… And what she saw made her see red, after she saw what was inside. Inside were pictures of Max and another girl, clearly Prom pictures.
(Liz) I'm not a fool, damn Author. I'm about ready to get peeved at him.
(Isabel) Oh no, don't get peeved! *sarcasm*
(Tess) Was I the only one who knew that the whole Prom thing would come back to bite him in the ass?
(Maria) I had the feeling it would.
HER MAX had gone to the Prom with another girl. HER MAX had lied and said nothing else had happened on the trip. HER MAX had left details out. HER MAX was going to die now.
(Liz) Well, if he did that, yeah, he'd die.
(Maria) LIZ! But, that's violent.
(Liz) Well, if the ****er dares do a **** thing with another woman where he wasn't mindwarped I would shine up my black stilettos, turn them sideways and shove them right up his CANDY ASS!
(Isabel) I think Liz has been watching the WWF again.
(Tess) That's my fault, I was educating her on the beauty of the Hardy Boys.
"Max, honey. WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?!?" Liz screamed, throwing the pictures on the table where Isabel and Alex could see. Alex muttered something like "old hits" and Isabel looked at the pictures vaguely wondering when her brother grew a pair. Kyle and Michael, sitting right beside them, as well as Tess and Maria, all got up and saw the pictures. Both the guys smirked a little, while the other girls were preparing to help Liz lynch Max… by his balls.
(Liz) THAT'S RIGHT, HE ****ING WENT TO A ****ING PROM WITH ANOTHER ****ING GIRL. LET'S RIP HIS ****ING BALLS OFF RIGHT ****ING NOW.
(Maria) Lizzie hon, you love Max. You want to use his balls one day, remember?
(Isabel) I so do not need to be hearing this. And since when did Liz become such a foul-mouthed psycho?
(Tess whispers to Isabel) My bet is on Aunt Rose paying a visit.
As Max was backing up, sputtering and trying to figure out how he was going to get out of this, the door to the Crashdown opened, and in walked an ivory god in black leather. Yes, Spike had arrived.
(All The Ladies) Mmmmmmm Spike…
(Tess) Give me some of that white chocolate God!
(Maria) Get in line, he's all mine.
(Liz) You can have most of him, but I want a piece of him and you know what piece I want.
(Isabel) Safe some for me, I want to know if that white chocolate melts in your mouth and not in your hand.
"Hey mates, Max, you look like the Slayer's coming for you." He said in his cockney voice.
(All The Ladies) Oh his voice…
"Um, I'm afraid I'm about to be castrated." Max said, wondering if Spike might help him.
(Liz) YEAH, Spike should castrate him and then do me to help me get over him.
(Maria) Liz, when did you get to be such a wanton woman?
(Liz) When I saw Spike, that I'd like to do to that man… Hrm, maybe I shouldn't have Max castrated, maybe I could use them both.
(Isabel) HELLO? That's my brother, that's just… ICK, I mean, we're aliens we aren't from the South.
(Tess) I don't know, Liz isn't the first to imagine your brother and Spike working as a team, though I usually have my Woozle head up the team.
(Maria) I have Michael head up mine.
(Isabel) Am I the only one who hasn't had a sexual thought about my brother?
(Maria and Liz) Yes.
(Tess) Hey, I've dreamwalked you, I know you've had them too!
(Isabel) Uh, no I haven't, let's move on, yeah.
Well, Spike had helped him some already, his presence had the women drooling, and that was good.
(Isabel) Damn, the Author's actually right for once.
"Hey Alex, good to see you. Man, the Slayer was pissed at you for talking about how good her ass looked." Spike said, before heading over to stand by Kyle and Michael, who both were fighting back tears and restraining their laughter.
(Isabel) Well, I'd be pissed at him for not telling me. But, this is Buffy and she's hot.
(Tess) She really is, I mean, I don't really go that way anymore, but she's one who I'd do.
(Maria) Yeah same here… Wait, what do you mean anymore?
(Liz) Yeah, what do you mean anymore?
(Tess) Um, hehe, let's keep moving okay?
Isabel heard what Spike said, and so did Alex… Alex paled, said a prayer and turned to look at his girlfriend who currently looked, not like an Ice Princess but a fiery hell bitch. Alex almost wet himself when Isabel smiled sweetly at him, the smile was sweet… but the voice she used… "Alex, hon, you didn't tell me about meeting this man. Or about commenting on some bimbo's ass. I suggest you get over beside Max so we can KILL BOTH YOU SORRY ASS MEN AT THE SAME TIME." With that, Alex whimpered and then ran to Max.
(Isabel) He better pray, because that's the only way his ass will survive.
(Liz) Both our guys are going to be castrated, what should we do?
(Isabel) Worse comes to worse, we got each other.
(Maria) That sounds kinky.
(Tess) Can I watch?
(Liz) Let's not talk about this, you're disturbing me.
Spike was standing next to Kyle and Michael during this smiling at the exchange. "So mates, what've I missed?"
(All The Ladies) Spike's voice… Aaahhhhhhh….
Kyle started the long reply, "Well, quick catch up. Michael and I dumped our girlfriends for each other after a drunken night of love making." Kyle then whispered quickly "We're just pretending to get revenge, play along." Then in a regular voice, "We got back, the girls were pissed at Max and Alex, but they butt kissed their way out of it."
(Maria) Yeah, that SO won't backfire will it?
(Liz) Of course it will.
(Isabel) They'll never have sex, that's for sure.
(Tess) Of course they'll have sex, just not with women. Just with each other. And I'd like to watch that.
(Maria) Me too actually.
(Isabel) That's just… wait, I can picture it.
(Liz) I'll watch, but all this is disturbing me.
Michael took his turn explaining, "Under the terms that they tell the whole truth, they both seemed to leave out some things. Max left out the fact he attended the prom with a girl in Texas, and Alex left out his drooling over another girl's ass. So now, we're about to watch them be castrated by their girlfriends and our ex's, who are still pissed and looking for someone to take it out on."
(Maria) Give us time Spaceboy, your ass is next.
(Tess) Do you mean for something bad to happen to or for Kyle to…
(Liz) ENOUGH, please try and control yourself.
(Isabel) They're as bad as the guys. Or the Author.
Spike decided to be, what else, EVIL. "You know mates, I wouldn't have taken you to be the ones to go to the same side of the sport. Max always struck me as a closet case."
(All The Ladies) Spike's voice…. Aaaaahhhhhhhhh…
(Liz) Wait! Why does everyone keep thinking my Maxie is gay?
(Maria) Maybe it has something to do with how he's always eying Michael's butt?
(Tess) Yeah, he's so got it for Michael's butt. You could see it to with Rath, he looked at Max and Max looked back and you just knew they were wanting a little sumthin-sumthin'.
(Isabel) I am not hearing this, my brother is not gay. At the very least he's bi.
(Liz) You aren't helping, so help me I might just find some stilettos for you three as well.
(Maria) That's my Lizzie, she's turning into a freaky-deaky.
Having said this, Max turned his head quickly to sputter at Spike. Just in time to get punched in the face then kneed in the groin by his girlfriend. That was the point at which the ladies descended on the men like, what else, locusts. Punching, kicking and clawing at Max and Alex until not much was left on the floor but two men curled into the fetal position faintly crying for their mommies.
(All The Ladies) WHOO HOO.
"You know, you don't see stuff like this back in Sunnyhell, I'm glad I made the trip out here. I get to see two men weep like babies and I can see your faces when I tell you about who's been stalking you all."
(All The Ladies) Spike's voice…. Aaaahhhhhhh…
"Stalking us? What're you talking about?" Kyle said, unable to keep from smiling about the whooping he saw.
(Tess) That's my boy, laughing at Max's pain.
(Liz) It's not nice.
(Tess) He still has some issues about the whole you thing and me thing and salvation thing.
(Maria) He's being an ingrate.
(Isabel) He's being a jerk.
(Tess) He's being a guy.
"Well, you're being stalked by some very odd little creatures. I'm not sure if they're dangerous or not." Spike said, drawing the whole thing out.
(All The Ladies) Spike's voice… Aaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh…
"Yeah, but what's stalking us?" Michael said, impatiently.
(Maria) Yep, he's always impatient.
(Tess) Yeah, but is he *always* impatient?
(Isabel) Ew, he's like a brother to me.
(Liz) Not to me, so, is he?
(Maria) I could tell you some stories…
"You're being stalked by Smurfs." Spike said.
(All The Ladies) Spike's voice… Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh….
One of the Aliens on the wall of the alien themed café slowly moved away, then ran outside. Once there it removed it's alien head mask to reveal a Smurf's head…
(Isabel) What is it with this Author's Smurf obsession?
(Maria) I don't know, maybe he likes them because they're small enough he could, you know, do them with out problems.
(Liz) MARIA! That's just cruel! And don't make the Author mad, he could still write us evil.
(Tess) Yeah, no angering the Author. If he's got a Smurf obsession, fine then. At this point I'd do anything to keep from getting messed with in the story.
(Isabel) Um, Tess, I'd be careful about saying "I'd do anything" around this Author, he might try and take you up on it.
(Liz) Yeah, I mean, he's kind of… you know…
(Maria) He's a guy, you give him a chance he'll try and get some.
(Tess) Hey, you forget, this is the Hussy you're talking to…