Author's note: Alright, I can finally update this again! That is good, right…? I'm sorry that it took longer than was necessary, but hey… Here it is! The seventh chapter of Shared Feelings…!
(Oh, you remember me promising a great chapter…Well actually… I'm sorry, but this isn't the chapter I love… And actually I think this chapter sucks… Don't know why, but that's my opinion… The next chapter is what I meant by a great chapter…)
Shared FeelingsWritten by Terra Trepe
Chapter 7: Our Dreams Within
She walked calmly, not thinking where she was heading. Her steps were slow, taking her toward the empty corridor where SeeDs' private rooms were located. She was heading toward Seifer's room, slowly but surely.
She didn't want to go there, but still she wanted to. She was angry, but still she felt something strange inside her, something that she hadn't felt for a long time. Something that she had never felt before, something that she had waited for so long.
She was stranger inside her own mind and she didn't understand her thoughts or her dreams.
She wanted to understand but still she didn't want to.
I'm not making sense at all…
She still walked toward his room's door, finding herself thinking of him even more. His proud, almost smug face appeared to be lingering inside her every thought, inside her every sense, making her aware.
Whenever she tried to ignore these persistent thoughts, she found herself even deeper inside these dangerous corners of her mind. She was waiting… Waiting for what? She didn't know.
I'm waiting for him…
She shook her head in disbelieve.
That's ridiculous! I'm not waiting for him…! How can I…?She found her heart racing up to her throat from these thoughts and it made her confused.
She was now standing in front of this wooden door of his dorm and she took a deep relaxing breath. Her hands were shaking, when she started to knock the door gently, she was really nervous. She didn't know why she felt like this and she hated that.
She knocked again. No respond.
"Seifer… It's me… Quistis…" She knocked once again, but didn't get any reply, only silence. She retreated her hand away to her chest and looked the door with awaiting gaze, but when there were no sign of live, she started to get away, letting a deep sigh of relieve out of her chest.
Good… He isn't there… Really good…But then the door creaked open behind her and her body immediately stiffened up as she stopped in her steps.
Slowly she turned her gaze to look to the door, readying for seeing that smug blond on the doorway, but she saw nothing, only the door that was now wholly opened up, inviting her to come into the kingdom of dump that she was sure to find from his room.
She slowly walked toward the opened door, preparing herself for the worst.
Oh Hyne… Where am I getting myself into…?She had her azure eyes shut when she came inside his room and then she opened them slowly, letting out a soft sigh of surprise when she found his room being the cleanest room she had ever seen. His room from all the people…
He was standing in front of his bed and he was reaching down to it, his tall back lowered down, his arms extended toward the bed. The usual long grey trench coat traced his tall figure, the long coat giving him a superior look that made her only more wordless.
Shutting the door softly behind her, she took a long trembling breath, her every sense unconsciously readying for what was going to happen next.
"Um, Seifer…" she started slowly, not knowing what to say to this tall man that had his back to her. He didn't even respond to her and she felt like she was only air to him. Is he angry to me…?
She started to get anxious, not liking this silent treatment he was giving her.
She took a daring step toward him, trying to go on: "I just wanted to---" peeking carefully behind his broad shoulders, her voice strayed off, as she finally saw what he was doing. He had a suitcase on the bed and he was placing one of his black shirts neatly on top of the other selected stuff he had in it.
Still he was saying nothing and he just kept on packing, ignoring her completely.
"You're going to go away…?" This time she was able to caught his attention.
He shut the suitcase and placed it on the floor, right next to his bed. Then finally turning to her, he locked his deep green eyes with her wonderful blue pools, his strong gaze not wavering even for a second.
"You don't want me to leave?" There were hint of betraying doubt in his rich tone of voice, as he knew that the idea of her mourning after him was absurd… totally bizarre.
Falling her blue eyes down to the floor, she stood there in front of his pressing gaze, keeping all her words inside her mind. She didn't know what to say…
Still he kept on staring her, his eyes piercing through her.
After a silent moment, he shook his head slowly, some of his spun golden locks of front hair dropping down to his face, before he said softly under his breath: "I didn't think so…"
Wearily her blue eyes found their way back to his shadowed figure and she thought that she saw a hint of pain in his rough coulisse. His silent pain that no one understood. A pain that she didn't understood.
Suddenly their eyes met again and this time she registered something from the depths of his deep green eyes. Something so beautiful. His gaze was different than before and she didn't know how to react to it. She didn't know wetter to be angry to him or to let herself feel free.
But then suddenly she felt embarrassed.
"I'm away only for a day… in a SeeD mission, that is…" It seemed this gaze affected him too, as he now dropped his eyes, letting these words quiver out of his drying mouth.
This made a little smile crawl up to the sweet corner of her lips. He was uneasy around her now… Usually it was other way around.
"Well… That's good…" She really meant it, but he didn't believe her.
He searched her amazing azure eyes from answers and somewhere deep within them, she held something very deep and meaningful, which he couldn't put into words.
Why she had come here was still beyond him, and looking into her eyes didn't give any answers either.
It only made it more complicated to understand.
Would she really be that weak to seek comfort from Seifer? Did she really think she could find it from him? Whatever she was searching, Seifer had always thought she would find it from Squall, not from him.
This was an interesting turn of events…
Appalling chuckle left from his mouth, ripping the air with its sharp contemptuous tone, dragging her back to reality. Again, he was the one in charge, and she felt tensed from his dominating presence.
"Oh, cut the crap, Instructor… You don't need to be so fucking friendly toward me…" These words came from him so simply, making her slightly angry.
How could he be so strict, so uncaring toward her, when she had finally signalled to him that she didn't hate him. Well, not so much like he thought she did.
"Why did you come here anyway?" He was still acting like himself. Like the arrogant bastard, his trademark aspect.
She tried to search her mind from the abstract reason why she had come here. She couldn't find it, as her real intentions were still hazy even to herself…
"Ever after the SeeD graduation ball, we hadn't met… So I came here because I needed to---" her words drifted away again. She was still searching.
I needed to… what…?
"You forgot what you were saying?" He was mocking her once again, but this time she let it be…
"No…" she shook her head reluctantly, trying to buy herself some precious time to clear her misty thoughts.
But it seemed like he wasn't going to give her that time.
"Well, what are you waiting for then? Spit it out." he rolled his emerald eyes in exasperated frown, mentally pushing her to hasty her brainwork.
He definitely wasn't a man with lots of patience, and she knew it perfectly. And this only made harder for her to confront him, to tell her reasons for coming to him.
Her sudden inability to speak made him smile a grin that lightened his image with sexy mischief, and it made her strangely nervous and vulnerable.
She hated him from the effect that this smile had on her. She hated herself from letting it affect her.
"I needed to thank you…" finally sighing this, she dropped her gaze away from him, surrendering into submission.
For awhile she could focus on her breathing now, not needing to keep her heavy shielding up that was meant to stop anyone come close. For once she could just let all go.
"To thank me…" He was truly surprised. Quistis, the almighty instructor thanking him… from what?
Her always so uneven words had really struck him this time.
"Thank me…? From what exactly?" he crooked an eyebrow, his face becoming suspicious as he stood there silently waiting for her answer. An answer, that he was sure, would strike him again with their unique unison.
Now her calm eyes looked up to his face, detecting for any reaction. Then finally ready, she started to say softly, her voice uneasy. It was only matter of time, before her words would broke down again: "You saved me… You saved me from myself. Even when I thought that I was ready to die then, I appreciate the new change for life… Thank you… I… I didn't---"
She clenched her small hand into tight fist, landing it on her chest and taking a deep nervous breath.
Quistis was appearing to search her words again, but he didn't let her finish that thought. He was too fascinated from this new side of her that he was just now looking. This sweet, nervous, even slightly embarrassed Quistis, who now stood in front of him, her eyes landed to the flat floor of his room.
He came closer to her cooing form, looking down to her closely and then finally, in a moment that felt like an eternity to her, he attached his hand inside her fist that was still landed to her chest.
She felt gooseflesh rising up to her skin, as she realised how close he was now. For a moment, even if it was a fragment of seconds, she enjoyed his presence. This warmth. But Quistis was also aware how dangerous it was to feel like this from Seifer. She knew it was dangerous to let him come this close, as she didn't know if she would be able to push him away...
If she wanted to push him away…
Oh, he had no idea how much this affected her. How much she just wanted to surrender… She was feeling suddenly restless and nervous.
And this was just one of the feelings his presence provoked inside her.
Landing his other hand to her soft jaw, he caressed her jawline gently, making her flinch slightly. But still she didn't retreat, but instead she surprised him by leaning into his soft touch. This made him only smile. He didn't understand the deepness of this react. But then again, neither did she.
Seifer lifted her jaw gently up, forcing her to look directly into his emerald eyes: "I thought you wanted to thank me from something else…"
Now she was confused again.
"From what…?"
"Well… you know…" He moved his hand from her soft jaw to touch her silky hair, letting her long hair slip through his fingers, looking them carefully.
She wasn't stopping him from coming closer and it made her nervous and angry to herself. Why wasn't she stopping him…?
"No, I don't…" She really didn't understand where he was going with this.
His fingers kept on wandering, and this time he gently brushed her delicate neckline with two fingers, and she could feel his body coming closer, his warmth surrounding her slowly.
He chuckled, this time waving his gaze to her eyes as he said softly under his pressing breath: "Let me jog your memory then…"
He started slowly to drop his face down to hers. Their eyes were locked and a wicked smile graced his lips.
She was lost… Hypnotised from this deep gaze, from this moment.
But when she felt his warm breathing that now twinkled against her rosy lips, it made her aware how close he was to her now. If she had only known how much he wanted this, she would have let him kiss her. But the mere idea of him using her newfound weakness was far stronger not to notice.
She was sure that he was just playing with her and that was something she wouldn't tolerate.
Barely before his lips would have touched her, she finally understood what was abounding to happen and so she pushed him away, angry protests suddenly arising from her mouth, her eyes now flaming from disgust.
She hadn't even realised how much she had used her powers to knock him away. Just a gentle push should've been enough, but instead of that, she had shoved him off with amazing amount of power.
He fell right down to his bed that was behind him and the soft mattress on it softened his harsh landing just perfectly. Good… she thought, as she didn't want him to get hurt, but as soon as she saw the smirk on his face again, she retreated her words, now hoping that he would get a bruise. A big one…
But no… Even his ego seemed to be unscathed.
He was on his back on the bed, his head leaned down to the big pillow and he was now laughing hoarsely. His laugh was arrogant and it made her boil even more.
Her blue eyes narrowed into angry slits as she looked down to his laughing form, still not understanding what was so funny about this. She was angry to herself from letting him come so close. She was angry to him from trying to lead her into something he didn't want.
That, if she had wanted it, was completely irrelevant.
She was now trying to gather herself up, and blaming him was the best way to do that. The best way to wave all the attention away from her sudden need to let him take her over.
"What the Hell was that, Seifer?!"
He just wanted to tease her, to push her over the dangerous edge, where she was now balancing between the deep pit and the save ground. She had almost lost her balance too, but now she was going to be more careful with this man.
Only one reckless action and she would lose. No, she wasn't going to let him win…Not again…
His laugh started to calm down slowly and he raised his weight up to his elbows. Tilting his head to his right side, he looked her through, the cocky laugh still remaining on his delighted features.
She crossed her arms and shifted her weight from her right leg to left, making her hips slant slightly to her left side. And to his satisfaction, he could now perfectly see those sexy curves of her under the stiff SeeD-uniform she wore.
He checked her out with his playful eyes, those green emeralds sliding up and down on her body. And even when he admitted her having a sexy body, her face was the one thing that always captured his eyes.
Yes, there was absolutely nothing you could complain about her face. Or well, perhaps one thing… Her mouth… She used it for shouting too much. He had discovered a much better way to use them…
He chucked a bit now, this time meeting her fury gaze as he started to say playfully, but still meaningfully, patting the empty space beside him on this quite wide bed: "Oh come here, Quistis… We both know you want it…"
It didn't take long for her to respond to this.
"What…!" She couldn't believe this man. He had no limits at all and not enough sense to stop when the weather was still clear.
She still looked him, her eyes having the mix of growing angriness and pure shock.
The sight of this handsome blond laying on the bed, offering her a blissful side beside him, was disturbingly astonishing and desirable and she had a hard time from trying to wipe that sight out of her mind.
Now biting lips with her clenching teeth, she tried to stop these thoughts from messing her mind, but when she saw that same mischievous glint in his emerald eyes, and seeing that he was satisfied from the react he had gotten out of her, she couldn't help herself from cracking up.
This time shouting abruptly to him, she threw her hands to the air, totally giving up: "And to think that I came here to thank you…! I am a total idiot…!"
Without another word, she stormed out of his room with wide steps, leaving him laughing onto his bed.
He had really gotten to her and he knew it.
Trying to control his laugh for a minute, he started to get up from the bed, shouting after her with delighted voice, the laugh still ringing from his voice as he started to ran after her: "I'm sorry, Quistis… Come back…"
Passing to the corridor and looking it through, he could now see her slim figure walking down this empty corridor, and he quickly started to follow her, trying to stop her from running away.
"Come on, Quistis… Stop…" It was just few metres away from her room's door when he had finally caught up with her, and he now slowed his pace a little, waiting some kind of react from her.
And there it came, very loudly and very angrily…
"Or what, Seifer!?" she turned hastily, bursting these annoyed words that made him stop on his steps right there.
They stood there, facing each other, their eyes locked, and just then his smile wavered away. He hadn't realised how beautiful those eyes really were.
Now silently whispering, he broke the silence…
"…Or I will kiss you…"
Her breathing stopped from shock as did his.
Had she heard him right? Had HE heard himself right…?
For a while he was sure she would slap him, but the react was far softer than that. It was something he hadn't been prepared for.
The soft curve of her lips started to tremble softly and her eyes had a soft gaze in them, looking up to him. She was wordless, her breathing deep and slow.
He felt lost now too. He was lost into her eyes, gazing down to her, feeling himself shocked from her sweet react.
He desperately needed to kiss her, to feel her lips on his and to taste her lips with his. He had never before felt like this…
It took some time for her to regain her composure, before she again turned her back to him, starting to go to her room.
But this time he wasn't going to let her go away. Not after that…
She took a shocked gasp for air, as she felt him pulling her into his warm embrace. Her body bumped softly against his and she was just about to pull herself away.
But when she saw his react from this closeness, a trembling and deep sight coming from his mouth, she couldn't help herself from not leaving. She felt suddenly content from his react. He wanted her. She was sure about it.
Her stunned gaze met his absent eyes, feeling breathless from their softness.
"Seifer…" she murmured with strange expressions in her face.
He wasn't doing anything, only looking down to her, holding her with soft touch. She could have easily retreated from him, but she didn't.
She was driven by a need… By a need to touch him… Even when she feared the consicueses of this feeling, she couldn't deny it now… Not now when he was so close to her.
He gasped a little, as she laced her arms behind his neck, and he tightened his hold from her, fearing that she was going to disappear.
Not thinking even a second more, she started slowly to pull his face down to hers, now feeling his warm and deep breath landing on her trembling lips.
"Quistis…"
Leaning to her, he finally sealed this hollow space between them. His lips covered hers gently, and there they stopped.
Absorbing this contact, cherishing this moment, they were still.
Even if it was just a fleeting contact of their lips, it sent shivers through them.
Finally relaxing, he started to move his lips tenderly against her soft ones. She started to respond to him, leaning her trembling body into his, sighing with pleasure.
This made him slide his hands down the curves of her back, wrapping his strong arms around her waist, pulling her even closer.
Sparkles burst through them, their bodies slowly brushing against each other, demanding for more…
There was no trace of demand or fiery like that one night. This time he kissed her so tenderly, so slowly… It was utterly wonderful…
And that was what scared her the most… No… She couldn't do this… Her heart wouldn't stand to get broken anymore, as it was still getting healed.
She had to stop this, before it would be too late. Before he would break her heart.
She stopped the kiss, feeling tears streaming slowly down her face. His lips were still stroking hers gently, reluctantly letting them slip away from his.
He didn't want to let go. Didn't want to let her escape again…
"Seifer… I…" murmuring this with shut eyes, she backed away, the warmness of her body against his fading away, being replaced by hurting coldness.
He was starting to get worry, as he saw the painful tears escaping from her. Never before had she felt so vulnerable, than under this worried gaze.
"Quistis…?" the way he whispered her name, his voice twinkling with emotions, made more tears to her closed eyes.
Not saying anything else, she turned. Not even once opening her eyes toward him, she left him behind. She went to her room. The door closed. He was alone. But only this time, he hated this empty feeling.
Breathing heavily, he tried to gather himself up.
"What did I do…?" He just stood there, all alone with his thoughts.
"I kissed her… again…?" He was confused.
"What's wrong with me…?" No answer.
"I shouldn't kiss her… I have to stop this nuisance… I don't want to kiss her…" He was lying to himself and he knew it.
"She… kissed me…" There it came. Even if it was hesitant, he was satisfied.
He had broken her cold exterior. Melted it in a way he had never imagined to be possible. He felt his own heart slowing down, his mind still trying to stop him from falling. From falling and hurting… But it was already too late.
Just few steps and then he opened her room's door. She hadn't lock it… It was a good sign…
His already shallow breathing stopped to his clenching throat, when he landed his eyes on her figure. Stepping into the dark room, he let these dark shadows land on his figure.
There wasn't much light, but just enough for him to see her. He closed the door softly behind him, the little source of light coming from the corridor through the opened door, faded away. Now the only light was the shy shines of the sun, that one of her window was emitting.
Her ragged breathing was enough to tell him she was crying.
And there he looked her figure, not being able to say anything. She was showered with this soft light, the highlights following her body's curves. She was like an angel, and this wasn't the first time he had thought this either.
Again he had lost his arrogance. He had lost his agony. He knew she was the reason for this change and he feared this feeling that conquered his mind slowly.
He wanted to blame her from everything, wanted to heavy her with the same burden that he had. But he found himself incapable to do that. There had been a day, when he was able to torment her, to intently hurt her, but now… He just wanted to give her everything she really deserved… But he wasn't sure if he would be the one to give her that.
She still had her back on him, and he could see her form shaking softly. She was crying, she didn't need to turn toward him, as he already knew how heartbreaking the sight of her crying those delicate tears was.
"Quistis…" he touched her shoulders with his comforting hand, feeling her shoulders shrug from the deep breaking sight that went through her.
She turned to him, backing away so he wouldn't touch her. She couldn't stand to feel his touch now, as she was afraid that she wouldn't be able to control herself.
Raising her eyes up to him, she took a deep breath, gathering all her strength as she straightened her back, trying to act like everything was all right.
He looked down to her hands, finding that familiar piece of clothe hanging there. He had totally forgotten that she had it.
Their eyes were locked again as he still tried to approach her.
"Just take the jacket, Seifer…" She flinched away from him, now holding the dark SeeD jacket in front of him, signing him to take it back.
"That kiss… or whatever you call it---" She shook her head and then continued: "It was a terrible mistake and it must not happen ever again, you understand…?"
What did she say. Did she mean that he had made that kiss up inside his mind, that he had fantasised her sweet moan, her sweet trembling, and her body's movements against his. That he had made all that up.
No she couldn't mean that.
"Take this…" he looked the jacket that she still held in front of him.
"And go away…"
He locked his gaze with her. Her eyes were still gleaming from tears, but she was having no troubles from saying this. Not even a sign that would tell him, she wasn't really meaning this.
Rage filled his senses quickly, making him look her angrily. Why did he even care… she was still in love with Squall, why else would she be doing this? He was mad now… She shouldn't have this kind of affect to him.
He opened the door vividly, walking away from her and not looking behind him. He closed the door harshly behind him, the halls echoing loudly.
She heard his fury steps for awhile, before they faded away again.
Still she stood there, the jacket on her hands, her heart bouncing wildly. She stood there silently, being confused from the mix of feelings roaming inside her.
He was gone now… So… Why didn't she feel good again…? This was what she wanted… Right?
"Am I stupid…!" she spit this to herself, throwing the jacket to the floor, before she left away from her room, heading toward his room again.
* * * * *
Author's note: Yes… Finally… A chapter that had the elements of Queifer…
I hope you liked reading this chapter and I'm sorry from leaving you hanging, but I just thought that I should cut this chapter into two pieces and well… this was the perfect place to do it.
I'm not quite satisfied from this chapter. It just hadn't that something that good chapter should have… But still, I hope you keep on reading this story, even when this chapter sucked…
Please R&R and tell me what you think of this story this far.
(Actually the next chapter has the goodies that I mentioned on the chapter six, so just be patient…)