Epilogue: The Long Run (Or: What Fourth Wall?)
Author: Alrighty guys, this story is over. We're all set for a hiatus and we'll be back in a bit for a sequel and possibly another story for a trilogy. I'm going to let you guys talk without my bothering you, just post the transcript when you're done and I'll see you all later.
*Author Closes Shop Up
Max: I hate him, I really hate him. I mean, that last part?
Spike: You think that's bad? He made me not be able to get it up. That's crossing the line. There are certain lines that you just don't cross.
Alex: Man, I got it worse. You see the preview of the sequel? HE CASTRATES ME.
All The Other Guys: Oh man, that sucks.
Alex: Yeah. So shut up.
Michael: Well, I'm just glad it's over. And who knows, maybe he'll decide not to do a sequel.
Kyle: This stuff isn't too bad, I mean, really, the story was actually kind of funny.
*Kyle Is Shot Death Glares From The Other Guys
Kyle: Or not… Anyway, Spike, how come in the story you mentioned Interludes, we don't remember them in the scenes.
Spike: What're you taking about? That didn't happen. And what are we going to do about this sequel?
Alex: You know what, there won't be a sequel. I'm going to make sure of it right now.
Max: Alex, what are you going to do?
Alex: Get us into the Author's dimension so we can kick his ass.
Spike: Hey, when we get there, think I can look up the girl he didn't let me get it up with? That way I can show her that I can rise to the occasion. I mean, it's just polite to make sure she knows it's all the Author's fault.
Michael: Should be able to do that on our way to Hollywood.
Kyle: I wanna meet my other self, might be good for the Buddhism I'm learning. Or he can get me beer.
Alex: Okay, let's do this. HAL, this is Dave, is the coast clear?
HAL: Yes Dave, the Author is playing Civilization II and is paying no mind to the story.
Alex: Great, HAL, do the plan.
HAL: Yes Dave.
Everything flashes, and when it all settles the five men are standing in the Granolith chamber.
"What the…? We're in the Granolith chamber." Max said, stating the obvious.
"Not just that man, we're not in an Interlude, we're in a story." Kyle said, picking up on that fact.
"Man, it feels nice to be out of those. Smell that air man." Michael said, stretching out.
"We're in the desert, great, I'm going to end up with a fatal suntan since we have no car." Spike said, not liking his vulnerability.
"Don't worry about any of that, we won't be here for long. We'll be going to the other dimension just as soon as my partner in crime shows up… Ah, here she is now." Alex said, as a nude redhead appeared in the chamber. "You're naked." Alex alerted her.
"****, damn Author. This is how he has me pictured, it's rare for a woman to be in his mind with clothes on." With that, the redhead waved her hand over her body and clothes appeared on her.
"Gentleman, allow me to introduce you to the woman who has made our revenge possible. I'd like you to meet Story. Story, these are the guys." Alex said by way of introductions.
"Hi guys." She said, as she made sure the clothes actually covered her.
"Wait, she's in on it man. I mean, she's the Story!" Michael said, as he prepared to blast her.
"Oh shove it you idiot, I was as much a victim as you guys. And I'd be damned if I was going to let that ************ ********* ********* ******** ******* ********** ******** ******* ******** ******* ******** ******** ******** ******** *** ***** ******* ** ** ****** ** ** ***** make me do a ******** *** *** **** ***** *** sequel!" Story said, cursing so graphically that even Spike blushed.
"Okay then, but how do we get there?" Kyle asked.
"We're going to use the Granolith. It can move people through time and to other worlds, so it'll take us to another dimension." Said the Story.
"But how do you know that?" Asked Max.
"Because I'm writing this scene you dumb ****. Since I'm writing it, I'm God of this setting, thus, I'm making the Granolith capable of extra-dimensional travel. But once we get there we're on our own, I'll be in the 'real world', yeah right, and won't be able to alter things." Story explained to her male companions.
"But if you're writing this, why not write the part in the real world too and have total control?" Kyle asked.
"I… Oh just shut up, you're mostly here for eye-candy." Spoke the bitter Story. "Now, are we all ready?"
With all the guys nodding yes, everyone touched the Granolith and were instantly transported elsewhere…
*Real World, WV*
A slight flash of light and the five men and one woman were all in a living room in WV, standing behind the Author who was so engrossed in helping the Celts to beat the English into the ground that he was oblivious to the newcomers.
The Story, with her much pent up rage at the Author, paraphrased a classic line from the movie "Ghostbusters" when she shouted: "GET HIM!"
The Author, who didn't get turned around fast enough, was attacked by five men and a woman, who all began to ruthlessly beat him up while screaming about the various humiliations they were forced to endure. The Author, being a frail pathetic geek like everyone on the internet, was able to put up no fight at all, and was soon hogtied and gagged.
"All in favor of killing him?" Max said, still pissed about all the gay cracks.
"Aye." Came from all the guys.
"Opposed?" Max then asked.
"I oppose. You'll need him to get back into your own world sometime. Plus, I'm not done hurting him yet." Spoke Story, with a gleam of such pure evil that only a woman was capable of it. A look so frightening that scared all the guys into agreeing with her.
"So, we're here. Now what shall we do?" Asked Kyle. "Personally, I'm going to see this dimension some then head to Hollywood and talk to the writers about giving me a bigger part."
"I'm going to do much the same, see about having them shave the actor playing me. Make the stories a little less annoying about me and Liz." Max said.
"I'm going to raise hell about them killing me off the show, and then just bringing me back as a ghost for stupid shots." Alex said.
"I'm going to go meet the guy who plays me, see if he's half as cool as me. I want to make sure he's worthy of playing me, maybe meet his girlfriend too." Michael spoke. "What're you going to do Spike?"
"Ah, you know. Talk some to Joss about what he's going to do with me. But really, mostly I'm just going to go get laid. I have a lot of fans, and I would like to keep them satisfied." Spike said with a smile as he walked out of the Author's house and stole a truck.
"Can we do that too?" Kyle asked.
"Hell no man, our girlfriends would find out for sure." Alex said.
"Just as well, I don't know if my actor is dating anyone I could get with." Max said.
"He's probably dating Kyle's actor." Michael said, before running out, and being chased by the others.
"Well, well, well… Hello Author, it's just you and me now isn't it? Oh, the fun we're going to have. And no, hon, you won't be up to a sequel. You won't be up do anything." The Story smiled as the Author began whimpering more into his gag and crying. "Now, where is it that you keep that Indiana Jones whip prop at? And have you ever seen the movie 'Deliverance', huh boy?" Enjoying as the Author broke down like a pitiful little boy, the Story moved over to the computer. "But before that, I have to set your 'fans' straight."
"Hello people," the Story typed, talking to the readers. "I need to inform you that there will be no sequel. Nope, none, nada, not at all. With the Author, pun intended, tied up, I'm in charge. So he won't be writing anything at all. I might write some nice quality 'serious' stories later, after I finish disciplining the Author. But otherwise, get over it. You 'Cult' members, really. Don't follow this guy, he's totally insane. So just gather up your chocolate and Smurfs and head on. I'm not going to let him write a sequel. It would have sucked anyway, sequels always suck. And considering how bad the original is that'd just be a crime against nature. So, go on, get out of here. You're almost as bad as Trekkie's. So shoo. Oh, and I might be willing to sell the Author, after some serious 'reeducation' to one of you if you still so desire. Contact me later and let me know."
With that, the Story turned off the computer and ended "Rollin'"…
It's reported that the Author's last words were "Don't stick that probe there!"
THE END…
Right?
Author: Alrighty guys, this story is over. We're all set for a hiatus and we'll be back in a bit for a sequel and possibly another story for a trilogy. I'm going to let you guys talk without my bothering you, just post the transcript when you're done and I'll see you all later.
*Author Closes Shop Up
Max: I hate him, I really hate him. I mean, that last part?
Spike: You think that's bad? He made me not be able to get it up. That's crossing the line. There are certain lines that you just don't cross.
Alex: Man, I got it worse. You see the preview of the sequel? HE CASTRATES ME.
All The Other Guys: Oh man, that sucks.
Alex: Yeah. So shut up.
Michael: Well, I'm just glad it's over. And who knows, maybe he'll decide not to do a sequel.
Kyle: This stuff isn't too bad, I mean, really, the story was actually kind of funny.
*Kyle Is Shot Death Glares From The Other Guys
Kyle: Or not… Anyway, Spike, how come in the story you mentioned Interludes, we don't remember them in the scenes.
Spike: What're you taking about? That didn't happen. And what are we going to do about this sequel?
Alex: You know what, there won't be a sequel. I'm going to make sure of it right now.
Max: Alex, what are you going to do?
Alex: Get us into the Author's dimension so we can kick his ass.
Spike: Hey, when we get there, think I can look up the girl he didn't let me get it up with? That way I can show her that I can rise to the occasion. I mean, it's just polite to make sure she knows it's all the Author's fault.
Michael: Should be able to do that on our way to Hollywood.
Kyle: I wanna meet my other self, might be good for the Buddhism I'm learning. Or he can get me beer.
Alex: Okay, let's do this. HAL, this is Dave, is the coast clear?
HAL: Yes Dave, the Author is playing Civilization II and is paying no mind to the story.
Alex: Great, HAL, do the plan.
HAL: Yes Dave.
Everything flashes, and when it all settles the five men are standing in the Granolith chamber.
"What the…? We're in the Granolith chamber." Max said, stating the obvious.
"Not just that man, we're not in an Interlude, we're in a story." Kyle said, picking up on that fact.
"Man, it feels nice to be out of those. Smell that air man." Michael said, stretching out.
"We're in the desert, great, I'm going to end up with a fatal suntan since we have no car." Spike said, not liking his vulnerability.
"Don't worry about any of that, we won't be here for long. We'll be going to the other dimension just as soon as my partner in crime shows up… Ah, here she is now." Alex said, as a nude redhead appeared in the chamber. "You're naked." Alex alerted her.
"****, damn Author. This is how he has me pictured, it's rare for a woman to be in his mind with clothes on." With that, the redhead waved her hand over her body and clothes appeared on her.
"Gentleman, allow me to introduce you to the woman who has made our revenge possible. I'd like you to meet Story. Story, these are the guys." Alex said by way of introductions.
"Hi guys." She said, as she made sure the clothes actually covered her.
"Wait, she's in on it man. I mean, she's the Story!" Michael said, as he prepared to blast her.
"Oh shove it you idiot, I was as much a victim as you guys. And I'd be damned if I was going to let that ************ ********* ********* ******** ******* ********** ******** ******* ******** ******* ******** ******** ******** ******** *** ***** ******* ** ** ****** ** ** ***** make me do a ******** *** *** **** ***** *** sequel!" Story said, cursing so graphically that even Spike blushed.
"Okay then, but how do we get there?" Kyle asked.
"We're going to use the Granolith. It can move people through time and to other worlds, so it'll take us to another dimension." Said the Story.
"But how do you know that?" Asked Max.
"Because I'm writing this scene you dumb ****. Since I'm writing it, I'm God of this setting, thus, I'm making the Granolith capable of extra-dimensional travel. But once we get there we're on our own, I'll be in the 'real world', yeah right, and won't be able to alter things." Story explained to her male companions.
"But if you're writing this, why not write the part in the real world too and have total control?" Kyle asked.
"I… Oh just shut up, you're mostly here for eye-candy." Spoke the bitter Story. "Now, are we all ready?"
With all the guys nodding yes, everyone touched the Granolith and were instantly transported elsewhere…
*Real World, WV*
A slight flash of light and the five men and one woman were all in a living room in WV, standing behind the Author who was so engrossed in helping the Celts to beat the English into the ground that he was oblivious to the newcomers.
The Story, with her much pent up rage at the Author, paraphrased a classic line from the movie "Ghostbusters" when she shouted: "GET HIM!"
The Author, who didn't get turned around fast enough, was attacked by five men and a woman, who all began to ruthlessly beat him up while screaming about the various humiliations they were forced to endure. The Author, being a frail pathetic geek like everyone on the internet, was able to put up no fight at all, and was soon hogtied and gagged.
"All in favor of killing him?" Max said, still pissed about all the gay cracks.
"Aye." Came from all the guys.
"Opposed?" Max then asked.
"I oppose. You'll need him to get back into your own world sometime. Plus, I'm not done hurting him yet." Spoke Story, with a gleam of such pure evil that only a woman was capable of it. A look so frightening that scared all the guys into agreeing with her.
"So, we're here. Now what shall we do?" Asked Kyle. "Personally, I'm going to see this dimension some then head to Hollywood and talk to the writers about giving me a bigger part."
"I'm going to do much the same, see about having them shave the actor playing me. Make the stories a little less annoying about me and Liz." Max said.
"I'm going to raise hell about them killing me off the show, and then just bringing me back as a ghost for stupid shots." Alex said.
"I'm going to go meet the guy who plays me, see if he's half as cool as me. I want to make sure he's worthy of playing me, maybe meet his girlfriend too." Michael spoke. "What're you going to do Spike?"
"Ah, you know. Talk some to Joss about what he's going to do with me. But really, mostly I'm just going to go get laid. I have a lot of fans, and I would like to keep them satisfied." Spike said with a smile as he walked out of the Author's house and stole a truck.
"Can we do that too?" Kyle asked.
"Hell no man, our girlfriends would find out for sure." Alex said.
"Just as well, I don't know if my actor is dating anyone I could get with." Max said.
"He's probably dating Kyle's actor." Michael said, before running out, and being chased by the others.
"Well, well, well… Hello Author, it's just you and me now isn't it? Oh, the fun we're going to have. And no, hon, you won't be up to a sequel. You won't be up do anything." The Story smiled as the Author began whimpering more into his gag and crying. "Now, where is it that you keep that Indiana Jones whip prop at? And have you ever seen the movie 'Deliverance', huh boy?" Enjoying as the Author broke down like a pitiful little boy, the Story moved over to the computer. "But before that, I have to set your 'fans' straight."
"Hello people," the Story typed, talking to the readers. "I need to inform you that there will be no sequel. Nope, none, nada, not at all. With the Author, pun intended, tied up, I'm in charge. So he won't be writing anything at all. I might write some nice quality 'serious' stories later, after I finish disciplining the Author. But otherwise, get over it. You 'Cult' members, really. Don't follow this guy, he's totally insane. So just gather up your chocolate and Smurfs and head on. I'm not going to let him write a sequel. It would have sucked anyway, sequels always suck. And considering how bad the original is that'd just be a crime against nature. So, go on, get out of here. You're almost as bad as Trekkie's. So shoo. Oh, and I might be willing to sell the Author, after some serious 'reeducation' to one of you if you still so desire. Contact me later and let me know."
With that, the Story turned off the computer and ended "Rollin'"…
It's reported that the Author's last words were "Don't stick that probe there!"
THE END…
Right?