Author's note: Thank you for those reviews, I was so happy to see that there are still people reading this Now I'm ready to write again, and that's all thanks to you guys! THANK YOU!!!!!
Now let's just go on with the story, I still got lot stuff to write and lots of things to tell you
Shared Feelings
Written by Terra Trepe
Chapter 10: Mistaken Love
So gloom and cold. Deserted place of dark, only few lights decorating the dark and empty corners.
She felt like her room. Depressed and lonely.
Quistis was sitting on her bed, staring the ceiling of her dark room with dreamy eyes. She was thinking. Thinking what she really wanted from her life
She had always thought herself being a strong willed person, who always knew what to do. But now she knew it was a lie.
She didn't know anything about herself. She had always struggled with her feelings but never had they throw her into this kind of situation before.
Love What was it anyway?
She had always loved Squall and she still did. She didn't want to let go of it because sometimes it felt it was the only meaningful thing in her empty life nowadays.
It was the only thing why Quistis was still alive. And without Seifer, it could've been the only thing why she was death too.
Sad. Squall had never showed any kind of emotion to her, except these past months.
But does it mean he actually loves her? Could Squall ever love anyone more than he loved Rinoa?
No, Squall was still in love with Rinoa, Quistis knew it, but she couldn't handle it.
This was her change to get Squall, but still Did it also mean it was her change to get the love of her life?
Did it also mean that she really wanted Squall?
Few months ago she would have said yes. Straight and honestly, not doubting even for a second.
But now After all that had happened between her and Seifer Could she just push all that away?
She was so confused. So confused from her feelings that she couldn't describe.
Oh, Hyne
A knock behind her door dragged Quistis out of her deep thoughts back to reality. Then a voice joined the knocking, waking her interest again: Are you awake? It sounded like Squall. What was he doing here at the middle of the night?
Slipping away from her bed, she came open the door for him.
The door slowly slipping open, the haunting image of Squall inside her mind had come into reality.
That broody young man, lonely wolf, as people had many times called him, was there standing on her doorstep. Why?
What are you doing here?
His hazy and cold blue eyes found their way up to her cornflower, more softer shaded eyes.
I need to talk with you His voice was somehow ragged, deep and mysterious as was his sudden words that Quistis feared to hear. Nevertheless she wasn't surprised to hear him say this, because she needed to talk with him too, but she didn't know if she was ready to talk with him right now.
Finally giving up from her spinning thoughts, she signalled him to come inside her room.
Could we go somewhere else?
Quistis raised her eyes back to him, wondering why he didn't want to talk here.
Squall didn't want to stay behind closed doors. And somehow she understood it, as she herself was afraid of the things that could happen if she was alone with him, here where no one would interrupt them.
Hesitantly joining him outside her room, she closed the door after her.
They walked silently through these silent corridors, heading toward the elevator, ever now and then secretly looking each other with sidelong gazes, being careful not to be caught by the other one.
What am I going to do?
There they walked aimlessly, the save distance between these old friends filled with disturbing silence. Both thinking their future, thinking their places in each other heart.
This has to be love But was this love the kind of love they both thought it was?
The only thing they knew was that they were walking toward the answer right now, and they were going to find it, somewhere deep inside them. With each other help
* * * * *
It was a full moon. The peaceful night sky filled with amazing amount of stars. Almost everyone was asleep, not knowing how beautiful the night was tonight. There were also people awake, who didn't care about the lovely night sky...
His emerald eyes were on the ceiling of his room, seeing her face formed there, like a picture that had burned itself into his mind.
Quistis
Her name was constantly on his lips, her face haunting him the way they never had.
Her eyes. Wherever he looked at, he could saw them perfectly before him, those azure eyes filled with tears.
It was strange how often he had seen her crying. He remembered only few times when he had seen her smiling, and whenever she did, he unconsciously treasured the smile inside his mind.
But still, he saw her crying those bitter tears. Those tears that he so wanted to make disappear
Stop this!
Seifer closed his eyes tightly, trying to wipe the image of her from his mind. Still the picture from her was there, even more clearly than before.
I don't need this Seifer jumped away from his bed, quickly picking his clothes from the floor, starting to put them on.
He had gotten enough of this already. Enough of this confusion that ripped his mind with all of these questions and emotions, he never knew he had.
How could any woman have this kind of affect to him?
He was a man who used to care about no one else but himself. A man who was always on control, ordering what to do, and who always got what he wanted Or that was what he had always thought
Now completely clothed, he put his usual trench coat on, and went away from his room into the silent corridors.
Slowly he walked toward the elevator, thinking of going away to the training centre. He needed something else to think about, but no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't wipe her away from his mind.
That if anything, concerned him deeply. Nothing had ever before affected him as much as she. He felt always on guard when talking about her, trying to defend her from everything that could hurt her.
He had felt this feeling growing inside his heart for quite a long time already, but he didn't understand it
Seifer was now in front of the elevator of the second floor and he pushed the call button on the wall, waiting the doors to open up.
Just then the form of two people walking on the floor below him caught his eyes.
Seifer approached closer to the edge, looking down to this pair in shock. His mouth was slightly opened, his eyes glued to the couple. These two familiar looking figures were getting closer to each other. The ebony haired man wrapped his arms around the fair-haired woman's waist, and then slowly, pulled her closer for a soft kiss.
He couldn't believe his eyes. These two people were Quistis and Squall.
Seifer gasped from this sight. He couldn't believe it. Quistis and Squall were kissing each other, embracing each other in a way that made Seifer's blood boil.
They cling to each other, kissing in front of the lovely fountain that went around the centre of the first floor of this Garden. They looked so peaceful, they had no rush at all. It seemed to Seifer like they didn't care about anything else than this connect of their lips. It seemed to him like they were in love, their souls absorbing this moment with fondness.
Quistis No
Just then, something snapped inside him. Angrily, he stormed away with wide steps, heading back to his dorm. He was desperately trying to leave this heartbreaking sight behind him, not knowing that it was impossible for him to do that.
Quistis had turned Seifer's self-centred world around, and now he was hurt, raged to see her on Squall's arms. But never was he going to admit that.
He tried to bury all these feelings he felt toward her under this angriness that served him as a cover-up, but there were things that even he couldn't make disappear He needed her, but she didn't need him
Under the soft moonlight, the two despaired souls were sharing this unique moment in the form of this kiss that was going to show them the answers that they so yearned to find. Both of them completely unaware of the broken soul that disappeared back to the darkness of his own mind.
* * * * *
The Balamb Garden was on tranquil peace, the night casting its different shades of shadows around the corners, walls and floors of this peaceful Garden. The main halls were empty, only these two souls wandering the round shaped corridors together, they both on their own worlds. It was so silent. The only voice being heard was the lovely peaceful sound of the springing water that was poured around the big fountains built on the huge circular pool, which followed the round corridor with its lovely glowing atmosphere.
Quistis had always loved the sound of this sprinkling water and those beautiful lights that was reflected from the surface of this clear water, but now she didn't care about them. Her mind were full of other things that she needed to think, and she had no time to pay attention on these little things that had always calmed her mind before.
Squall walked at her side, his mind also filled with many thoughts.
They had come here to talk, but it felt somehow relaxing only to walk together like this, they both in their own worlds. Thinking, but not finding any answer to their deepest questions.
Both of them were silent, waiting for the other to start the conversation that seemed so hard to go through. The air was definitely filled with this thick nervousness that stopped them from thinking clearly.
He looked at her now, carefully glancing to her slim figure walking slowly beside him. He knew she was very attractive, but still that didn't explain why he felt like this whenever he was with her.
She had the SeeD uniform on and her hair was tightly bonded behind the back of her head with her usual hairclip.
The few golden hair strands were flowing above the sides of her face that had the look of ponder. Her beautiful fully eyelashes covered slightly her eyes, making the features of her face more mysterious and vague. She was thinking about something, that much was sure to him.
Somehow finding a hint of determination, Squall slowly stopped on his steps now, still dragging his eyes insecurely along the floor. She just continued her walk calmly past him, and carefully his eyes followed her form, still thinking how to ask this from her.
He wasn't very good at these kind of things, and he find it very difficult to talk with people about feelingsEspecially when the conversation included his feelings as well.
It took a bit time for him to find his words.
What are you thinking, Quistis The question came softly behind her, surprising her completely, as she hadn't realised that Squall had stopped walking and was now standing behind her.
She turned around slowly, facing him now, a bit amount of anxiousness being detected from her shaded eyes.
They were two metres apart from each other, nervously gazing at each other eyes. She decided to be honest to him now. And at the same time, be honest to herself too.
I'm just thinking About my feelings
What about them?
She fall her eyes on the floor again, not being able to think straight when looking to his somehow cold eyes.
I'm not sure What I felt toward you right now, Squall I'm confused. Lost inside myself You understand, right?
Slowly she lifted her eyes back to him, searching for a reaction from him. His heart was soaring from her words. He had the similar feeling going inside him too, and he felt it eating his mind in little pieces, destroying all his deep emotions that he had learned to feel through these many hard years of his life.
I understand, Quistis I'm not sure of myself either
What are we going to do?
They both were silent again, their minds living their own lives somewhere far away.
Slowly, almost like in hypnotised state, he took a step toward her, keeping his eyes locked with her the whole time, searching them.
I don't know What do you think?
I think that Taking a step toward him too, she tried to drag her words from her throat into the air. Only one step They both knew it. To clear our thoughts
He took a little step again toward her, looking down to her, his eyes hazy. A kiss, perhaps
He wrapped his arms slowly around her waist, pulling her softly closer. Calmly, she found her hands behind his neck, her fingers lacing behind his fuzzy neck, coming closer to him too. Just few inches, nothing more Their lips were so close, their slow breaths landing on them
I think about her a lot, Quistis
I know, Squall
Understanding each other, their lips met in this soft kiss that cared. Dreamily, her eyes closed up, a single tear slipping down from the corner of her eye, caressing her cheek gently.
They were both moved from this moment, from this bliss that endured on their minds. This kiss They had been waiting for it a long time, and now it was finally true
But they weren't there Their minds were far away from their bodies, flying somewhere there, where they really wanted to be.
Seifer
This kiss was gentle, but that was all to it The kiss with Seifer was always much more than just a kiss It was a connection of souls, gentle, passionate and supportive touch that had a much deeper meaning between the two similar souls.
This ebony haired man she was kissing right now, suddenly turned to a blond man Handsome blond with so caring emerald eyes that had pierced though her with that only one glance he had landed on her.
She could feel his gentle hands sliding down her body, and she remembered his lovely touch that had comforted her deeply with the softness and caring.
Seifer's face formed into her mind, replacing all the confusion she had felt before This was what she was really searching for She had always searched Squall from her heart, but instead of him she had found Seifer.
Quistis had always thought that she loved Squall, so it was very difficult to break the image she had developed inside her mind since the childhood days in the orphanage. In the image she loved Squall more than life itself But now this passionate love had turned to be much more simpler than that It had turned to be a bond between the two, like a bond of sister and brother This was all that she felt, a bond between two desperate friends who had lost in the thought of being in love.
And because of this mistaken love, she had pushed Seifer away.
Seifer No one else could ever take his place from her heart
Slowly they broke the lip lock of their absentminded kiss, taking some time for them to reclaim their minds, their eyes still closed from all the emotions that went through them.
Her name slipped from his mouth in the form of this whisper filled with so many emotions.
Quistis opened her eyes and looked to Squall with a soft smile, looking this somehow vulnerable boy, who was now slowly flickering his eyes open, almost like waking from the trance that had teased them for a long time already. When their eyes locked, he realised seeing her smiling a soft smile he had never really seen radiating her face before.
You felt it too, Squall
He looked down to her, his arms still wrapped around her waist, their bodies still touching comfortably each other. Squall just nodded, the few clumps of his silver-like hair sliding down to the sides of his slightly astonished face.
Just now You were searching your heart And you found Rinoa She was smiling happily, whispering this softly. Lowering her hands away from behind his neck, she took a little step away from him, gazing him with those azure eyes.
You and me We're like brother and sister. Nothing else You love Rinoa, and I love you like my own brother.
Squall was little confused, but nevertheless he understood what Quistis meant. He knew she was right. He loved her like his own sister when on the other hand he loved Rinoa much more deeply. Squall loved Rinoa and he knew he couldn't live without her.
Quistis' smile was genuine and not forced, as she continued her words in that somehow sister like voice.
Go after her. Find her I know she is waiting for you to come to her Go and straight things out, Squall
He kept on looking her, being absolutely astonished from her wisdom. All that she said made perfect sense to him now. But what about her own feelings
What did you find from your own heart, Quistis?
Her smile wavered slightly, the soft smile tugged on the corner of her ruby lips, as she continued, still having many things to sort out.
My feelings are still quite messed up, Squall There's still more searching for me to do before I understand completely
She stopped to look at him and she saw a hint of concern on his eyes. The love she felt for him wasn't going to just fade away, and it didn't needed to, as he was like a brother to her.
I'm glad we did this, Squall It helped me to let go of the silly fantasy that was never true Now I can focus on my search.
Smiling, she took his hand on her, squeezing it gently. He grasped her hand too, and looked her with only one more question on his mind.
Those feelings you still haven't discovered They are for Seifer, right
Her smile stayed on her lips, but now it turned into little sadder smile. She looked down to the floor now, searching for the answer.
I feel something deep toward him. Something that I haven't truly felt for anyone else But it isn't that simple Nothing is.
Squall smiled knowingly down to her and reached to her jaw with his glowed hand, lifting her gaze to meet his. There were tears on her eyes, gleaming from them. She was special to him And she would always be.
She was his sister
Wrapping his arms around Quistis and tiding her into a hug, he finally felt hopeful about the future. Now when he was sure about his own feelings, he was going to find Rinoa and never let go of her again.
Quistis tided her arms around him too, savouring this supportive and friendly hug. She wasn't sure what she was going to do with Seifer, but now for the first time for years, she felt hopeful about the future.
Thank you for everything, Quistis
You're welcome little brother
* * * * *
Author's note: Hope you liked the chapter Yeah, I know that there must be someone out there who doesn't understand this chapter, and who thinks that is stupid that everything that Squall and Quistis really felt for each other was just brother-sister love
But this is my opinion from their love in the game, and like I've said before, feelings are complicated if you make them complicated And well in this story, they had made it really complicated, and now they finally understand how things really are between them and now they can fix all up
Okay I will shut up now, see you when I update the story
As always, please R