Bah Humbug, I've gotten more grammatical reviews than ever before. I'm
terrible at grammar! IT SHOULD DIE. However, I am not that lucky. I will
continue to try and improve my writing, just for all you folks! Thanks for
the reviews guys. Thank you "friend" I totally missed the period and just
to let you know I am in love with anything Disney, and thank you "kiwi" for
giving the highest running amount of reviews- in a day! I challenge anyone
to try and beat 6! One hint "Kiwi": it's not Mortimer, I want my 50 bucks!
Now for a little info on the story: my first OCs and I'm very nervous.
Please tell me what you think of them.
One Maid
By: Catty Engles
Chip and Dale looked approvingly at the Gummi ship from the control tower. Daisy gave them the thumbs up. Chip scampered around the buttons and levers as Dale briefed the crew on how to use the controls. Daisy shut the exit valve with a satisfying click and sat in the passenger seat behind Goofy. She leaned back and breathed slowly, shutting out Dale's cheerful chatter.
She was thankful that Chip and Dale had decided to help. Daisy's eyelids felt heavy, she hadn't slept for at least 24 hours. Her eyes flew open as Donald turned around and patted her knee. She tensed instinctively but immediately regretted it at the hurt look on his face. Daisy pondered.
"We're taking off." Donald said rather stiffly. Adrenaline flowed through her veins and she caught Donald's hand before he turned and gave it a little squeeze of apology. Donald's face brightened, and he gave her a broad grin.
The radio squawked causing Donald to turn around sharply. Daisy wasn't sure if the quickness of her heart had everything to do with the alarm of the loudspeaker. Chip's imperious voice squeaked through the Gummi ship's interior.
"Okay, ease your foot gently off the catch and-" Donald, still flustered, released all the pressure from the pedal. Daisy's stomach dropped as a trap door opened and the Gummi ship plummeted into a free fall.
"Press the catch, Press the catch, PRESS THE CATCH!" Chip's frantic voice was littered with static, but lucky for our heroes Donald understood and slammed his foot back on the catch. The ship came to a halt. Outside the window was a kaleidoscope of stars, planets, and galaxies. Daisy was amazed.
"I said gently." Chip's voice seemed little more than annoyed, "I should have known, Mickey did the same thing his first time out, and you guys being friends and all I-" Chip stopped, somehow sensing that he had gone too far.
Goofy's face dropped but Donald's only filled with grim determination.
"Okay, well let's go tell him all about it." Daisy smiled her thanks from the back seat. Donald caught the glance in the rearview mirror and found himself feeling a little giddy.
"You know how to start, well sort of, stop, fire, and maneuver. You should be good to go! I'm going to terminate the connection. Good luck!" Donald began to reply but was met with silence, no more friendly static rustling in their ears. They were utterly alone in space. The Gummi ship felt like a coiled spring under their feet.
The trio's faces shone with pent up excitement.
"Let's try this baby out!" Donald readjusted his grip on the wheel. He eased it forward; the ship shuddered into life and began to hum. He pushed the wheel more and the ship surged forward.
"Here we go!" Shouted Donald over the roar of the engines.
I'm coming Minnie.
We're on our way Mickey.
***
"Here I'll help you up." Mickey offered the girl his hand.
The girl got up on her own. She flicked raven black hair that fell in a bob around her high cheekbones away from her almond shaped eyes. She dusted off her pockmarked tight white sleeves. She straightened her tunic around her shapely figure and with her chin in the air proclaimed, "That's all right, I'm fine." Mickey was lost for words momentarily as the amethyst eyes flashed him a challenge.
"Don't worry she's always like that." Another youth stepped out from the shadows. He had obviously been running for he was out of breath and his hair was in helpless disarray. He leaned against the wall and winked at Mickey. Mickey, recognizing a kindred spirit, winked back.
"And how would you know, fussypants, I only just met you." The girl pouted slightly.
"You call three days of being dragged around this city, JUST, meeting you?!" The boy looked incredulous.
The girl dismissed the boy with a wave and turned her back on him, facing Mickey. "I'm Thistle by the way, and this is Dandin." She jerked her head in the boy's direction. He stepped forward, and none too ceremoniously shoved Thistle out of the way, she reeled but caught her balance. She stuck her tongue out at Dandin's back.
Dandin extended an arm to Mickey. He wore gloves cut off at the fingers, those worn by someone who needs the most friction and mobility as possible. Mickey guessed correctly that he wore a sword. It was strapped across his back for easy access; the leather belt ran across his chest. The sword was, surprisingly, traditional. Its hilt was a gilded gold and the blade double-edged silver with a wide blood channel. It looked perfectly balanced, pity the boy didn't have a sheath to wear with it. Mickey reached for the extended hand.
They shook firmly. Mickey looked into the boy's dancing green eyes masked by the straight blond hair that fell into them. His full lips parted to show genuinely white teeth and deep laughing dimples. He stood back and regarded Mickey. His stance was wide and his arms comfortably folded across his own brown tunic. White billowing sleeves accented his muscular arms and his brown leggings ended in black calf high boots. He looked to be about 14, Thistle, not much younger.
"I'm still not sure I trust you." Thistle had her hands on her hips and the pout was back on her striking face.
Dandin rolled his eyes at Mickey then whirled around and in a mock beseeching manner stretched his arms out to the girl and pleaded with her, "Thistle, has he not saved your life already? You should be on bent knee kissing his robes." Mickey snorted. He couldn't imagine Thistle groveling.
"Okay, two things wrong with that theory," Dandin cocked his head, but Thistle continued, "he's not wearing robes and I have a previous appointment." Thistle declared with a straight face but the corners of her eyes wrinkled.
"Oh, and what's that." Dandin replied with an equally straight face.
"I have to kill you first." As Thistle said this she launched herself at him and they tumbled to the ground, Dandin calling out in mock alarm. He made a great show of struggling and dramatic poses, obviously enjoying himself as Thistle lightly pummeled him. She laughed at each of his hilarious faces. Thistle tired herself out and sat on his stomach legs crossed, breathing softly. From the ground, Dandin wrenched his face around so that he was regarding Mickey from upside down.
"And pray tell what is your name good sir." Mickey smiled at Thistle and Dandin. Both returned his smile with a childish grin.
"I'm Mickey."
***
Those of us who are Redwall fans will notice that I did use Dandin, a Redwall character name. I'm sorry I couldn't help it, it's just so perfect for my Dandin. Don't worry, they are different characters the names are just the same. The maid is Daisy. I love getting reviews, it makes my day! So if you want to see a smile on my face or a chapter out extra soon (hint, hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge) review my work and I'll dive right back into Word Processor hoping that I won't disappoint any of you! Thanks in advance!
One Maid
By: Catty Engles
Chip and Dale looked approvingly at the Gummi ship from the control tower. Daisy gave them the thumbs up. Chip scampered around the buttons and levers as Dale briefed the crew on how to use the controls. Daisy shut the exit valve with a satisfying click and sat in the passenger seat behind Goofy. She leaned back and breathed slowly, shutting out Dale's cheerful chatter.
She was thankful that Chip and Dale had decided to help. Daisy's eyelids felt heavy, she hadn't slept for at least 24 hours. Her eyes flew open as Donald turned around and patted her knee. She tensed instinctively but immediately regretted it at the hurt look on his face. Daisy pondered.
"We're taking off." Donald said rather stiffly. Adrenaline flowed through her veins and she caught Donald's hand before he turned and gave it a little squeeze of apology. Donald's face brightened, and he gave her a broad grin.
The radio squawked causing Donald to turn around sharply. Daisy wasn't sure if the quickness of her heart had everything to do with the alarm of the loudspeaker. Chip's imperious voice squeaked through the Gummi ship's interior.
"Okay, ease your foot gently off the catch and-" Donald, still flustered, released all the pressure from the pedal. Daisy's stomach dropped as a trap door opened and the Gummi ship plummeted into a free fall.
"Press the catch, Press the catch, PRESS THE CATCH!" Chip's frantic voice was littered with static, but lucky for our heroes Donald understood and slammed his foot back on the catch. The ship came to a halt. Outside the window was a kaleidoscope of stars, planets, and galaxies. Daisy was amazed.
"I said gently." Chip's voice seemed little more than annoyed, "I should have known, Mickey did the same thing his first time out, and you guys being friends and all I-" Chip stopped, somehow sensing that he had gone too far.
Goofy's face dropped but Donald's only filled with grim determination.
"Okay, well let's go tell him all about it." Daisy smiled her thanks from the back seat. Donald caught the glance in the rearview mirror and found himself feeling a little giddy.
"You know how to start, well sort of, stop, fire, and maneuver. You should be good to go! I'm going to terminate the connection. Good luck!" Donald began to reply but was met with silence, no more friendly static rustling in their ears. They were utterly alone in space. The Gummi ship felt like a coiled spring under their feet.
The trio's faces shone with pent up excitement.
"Let's try this baby out!" Donald readjusted his grip on the wheel. He eased it forward; the ship shuddered into life and began to hum. He pushed the wheel more and the ship surged forward.
"Here we go!" Shouted Donald over the roar of the engines.
I'm coming Minnie.
We're on our way Mickey.
***
"Here I'll help you up." Mickey offered the girl his hand.
The girl got up on her own. She flicked raven black hair that fell in a bob around her high cheekbones away from her almond shaped eyes. She dusted off her pockmarked tight white sleeves. She straightened her tunic around her shapely figure and with her chin in the air proclaimed, "That's all right, I'm fine." Mickey was lost for words momentarily as the amethyst eyes flashed him a challenge.
"Don't worry she's always like that." Another youth stepped out from the shadows. He had obviously been running for he was out of breath and his hair was in helpless disarray. He leaned against the wall and winked at Mickey. Mickey, recognizing a kindred spirit, winked back.
"And how would you know, fussypants, I only just met you." The girl pouted slightly.
"You call three days of being dragged around this city, JUST, meeting you?!" The boy looked incredulous.
The girl dismissed the boy with a wave and turned her back on him, facing Mickey. "I'm Thistle by the way, and this is Dandin." She jerked her head in the boy's direction. He stepped forward, and none too ceremoniously shoved Thistle out of the way, she reeled but caught her balance. She stuck her tongue out at Dandin's back.
Dandin extended an arm to Mickey. He wore gloves cut off at the fingers, those worn by someone who needs the most friction and mobility as possible. Mickey guessed correctly that he wore a sword. It was strapped across his back for easy access; the leather belt ran across his chest. The sword was, surprisingly, traditional. Its hilt was a gilded gold and the blade double-edged silver with a wide blood channel. It looked perfectly balanced, pity the boy didn't have a sheath to wear with it. Mickey reached for the extended hand.
They shook firmly. Mickey looked into the boy's dancing green eyes masked by the straight blond hair that fell into them. His full lips parted to show genuinely white teeth and deep laughing dimples. He stood back and regarded Mickey. His stance was wide and his arms comfortably folded across his own brown tunic. White billowing sleeves accented his muscular arms and his brown leggings ended in black calf high boots. He looked to be about 14, Thistle, not much younger.
"I'm still not sure I trust you." Thistle had her hands on her hips and the pout was back on her striking face.
Dandin rolled his eyes at Mickey then whirled around and in a mock beseeching manner stretched his arms out to the girl and pleaded with her, "Thistle, has he not saved your life already? You should be on bent knee kissing his robes." Mickey snorted. He couldn't imagine Thistle groveling.
"Okay, two things wrong with that theory," Dandin cocked his head, but Thistle continued, "he's not wearing robes and I have a previous appointment." Thistle declared with a straight face but the corners of her eyes wrinkled.
"Oh, and what's that." Dandin replied with an equally straight face.
"I have to kill you first." As Thistle said this she launched herself at him and they tumbled to the ground, Dandin calling out in mock alarm. He made a great show of struggling and dramatic poses, obviously enjoying himself as Thistle lightly pummeled him. She laughed at each of his hilarious faces. Thistle tired herself out and sat on his stomach legs crossed, breathing softly. From the ground, Dandin wrenched his face around so that he was regarding Mickey from upside down.
"And pray tell what is your name good sir." Mickey smiled at Thistle and Dandin. Both returned his smile with a childish grin.
"I'm Mickey."
***
Those of us who are Redwall fans will notice that I did use Dandin, a Redwall character name. I'm sorry I couldn't help it, it's just so perfect for my Dandin. Don't worry, they are different characters the names are just the same. The maid is Daisy. I love getting reviews, it makes my day! So if you want to see a smile on my face or a chapter out extra soon (hint, hint, wink, wink, nudge, nudge) review my work and I'll dive right back into Word Processor hoping that I won't disappoint any of you! Thanks in advance!