This story is mine. Really, all mine. Well, all the characters belong to Marvel, and so do the X-Men, though they don't deserve them, but please don't sue me, it wouldn't be worth it.
As always, thanks go out to Luba for the beta read and encouragement, and to everyone who's been so great about providing feedback!
Just a Couple of Kids, after all… Chapter 10Kitty was still fuming when she got back to her room after her meeting with Jean. She opened her door, slamming it behind her, and turned to Lockheed, who had been snoozing on her bed and who was now glaring at her.
"Don't start with me, Dragon," she said angrily. "Look at it this way – you got more sleep than I did. I can't believe you managed to sleep through all the pounding outside anyway." It was still going, she realized, glaring at the wall.
She started pacing the room, stopping occasionally to direct comments towards Lockheed, who was looking at her with an attentive expression on his face.
"Can you believe her nerve? What's the matter with everyone around here, anyway? Bobby and I work our asses off to get her the answers she says she wants, and when we get them, she blows the whole thing off! Now I'm behind on my homework, I've still got to get the security on the system rebuilt and everything back up, and she can't even be bothered to listen to what I'm saying? Oh, nooo, not the high and mighty Phoenix! 'Better things to do these days than chase after a bunch of computer hackers' – well, if that's how she feels, she can take care of her computer systems herself... 'Don't you have classes today?' Of course I have classes today! I had class last night, too, and I skipped it because of the emergency! At least, I thought it was an emergency! Bobby thought it was an emergency! Shit, at the meeting yesterday, it sure seemed like everyone else thought it was an emergency! But hey, apparently we don't know what we're talking about…if they won't be 'pounding down our doors' we might as well just ignore the whole thing, right?"
"Do I wanta know what you're talking about?" she heard behind her, and flipped around to see Logan standing in the doorway, his hand still on the knob.
"Doesn't anyone knock around here?" she asked loudly of no one in particular.
"I did knock – you were yellin' so loud ya didn't hear me, that's all. What's wrong? You and Drake have a fight?" Logan asked, entering the room and leaning against the wall nonchalantly.
"No, Bobby and I – hey!" she said, flipping around, and noticing with surprise the grin on his face. "Were you in the kitchen just now? I didn't hear you…no, wait – Rogue said Hank told you last night, right?"
"Well, Hank told me you were out with him, but Jeannie had already clued me in."
"Don't even MENTION Jean to me right now, ok?" Kitty said, rolling her eyes as she shook her head. "I really, really don't want to go there, all right?"
"Ok, darlin', ok," Logan said, looking concerned. "I didn't come to talk about Jeannie, anyway."
"Then what, you want to tell me going out with Bobby would be a bad idea?" she asked, resuming her pacing. "Or did you already threaten his life and scare him off?"
"Temper, Kit," Logan growled, and she turned to face him, embarrassed. It was years since Logan had last had to remind her to cool off – it wasn't that her temper had gotten better, per se, but she usually hid it better these days.
"To answer your question, Kitten, no, I did not scare off Drake. In fact, I told him he more class than I'd given him credit for, and that what you did was your business. I did tell him what I'd do to him if he hurt you," he added, chuckling, "but he said he figured that."
"Oh. Thanks," Kitty said. She noticed, looking at him critically, that he didn't look at all well, and wondered if he was finally going to tell her about the adamantium poisoning. She'd gotten the scoop out of Hank, but the last time she'd tried to bring it up with Logan he'd changed the subject. While she'd gotten periodic updates from Hank as well, she was kind of hurt that Logan hadn't confided in her.
"No problem. Like I told Jeannie, you're a good judge of character. If you're interested in Drake, there's gotta be more there than meets the eye."
"Oh, I bet that went over well with Jean," Kitty said, finally settling down at the end of her bed and scratching Lockheed's neck absently. "I don't think I'm her favorite person these days."
"Maybe, maybe not," Logan said, walking over to the window and looking out. "Jeannie's got a lot on her plate right now."
"Oh?" Kitty asked curiously. She knew Jean must still be upset about Scott's death, but Logan was implying something else.
"Her business, not yours, until she decides to talk," Logan said, and Kitty could sense that there was more that he wanted to say, and that he was holding back for some reason. "Anyway," he added, turning to face her, "we've got some talking to do. Do you wanta do it now, or do you need to storm around a while longer?"
"No, I'll storm later," she replied, concerned. "Do you want to sit down?"
"Well, Darlin'," he said, and to Kitty's surprise he reached out to hug her awkwardly. "I gotta get going – gotta meeting with Bets about security. Forgot to tell you – best of luck to you and Bobby," he added, letting go and walking toward the door. "He's ok," he added, and walked out.
Kitty sat down on her bed, tears streaming down her face as she hugged her pillow to her. Her head was still reeling from everything Logan had told her, and she could hardly take it all in. Another person she loved was going to be pulled from her, she thought, looking at her bulletin board with all the pictures of her friends on it. At least this time she'd had a chance to make her peace with him first, and that was, surprisingly, some consolation. Not much, though.
She puzzled for a while over what he'd said about Jean, and wondered what more he had wanted to say. She shrugged, deciding he undoubtedly had a good reason for not confiding in her, and put it from her mind. She didn't want to think about Jean right now.
She was still crying some time later, when she heard a tentative knock on her door, which Logan had left ajar.
"Hey, Kitty – are you ok?" Bobby asked. Her back was to the door, and she sensed, rather than saw, him poking his head in.
"Just – just get out, Bobby," Kitty sobbed.
"Why? Hey, did I do something wrong? I'm sorry," Bobby said, and she could hear the concern in his voice as he walked over and began rubbing her back.
"Damn it, just get out! Didn't you hear me?" she shouted, flinching away from his hand.
"Yeah, I heard you," Bobby replied, but he didn't move. "But Logan said you wanted to see me, and I'm not about to argue with him; we're on good terms at the moment. Are you going to tell me what's wrong, or do you just want to scream at me for a while?"
"I don't want to see you! I don't want you anywhere near me! Everyone I get close to dies, don't you understand!" she yelled, flipping around to look at him. "I can't take that anymore! Just go!"
"What are you talking about?" Bobby asked, confused, and Kitty could see that he was debating the wisdom of leaving her alone versus getting Hank so he could administer a sedative.
"Didn't Logan tell you why I supposedly wanted to see you?" she asked, brushing tears from her eyes and glaring at Bobby. "He's dying. Damn it, everyone dies!"
"Sooner or later, yeah, I guess. I don't see how that makes it your fault…"
"Oh, it's not my fault, I guess. Maybe my curse would be closer. But look," she gestured toward her bulletin board, and watched Bobby walk over to it and peer at the pictures.
"Hey, is this Illyana grown up? And that's Rachel – I met her at Scott and Jean's wedding…"
"Yeah, and Doug, and Pete, and Larry, and Alasdhair, and Alysdane Stuart…" She resumed sobbing, and when she felt Bobby place his arms around her, she pulled away.
"Don't you understand? They're all dead. Every last one of them, dead. Well, ok, Rachel's lost in some alternate future or something, but it amounts to the same thing. Shit, you can even throw in Madelyne – I don't have any pictures of her, but I was maid of honor when she married Scott. I was the first person she told when baby Nathan was born, because Scott was too busy with his precious Jean to even call her. And now Logan. 'Advanced adamantium poisoning'… it's almost funny, you know? Most of my other friends died because they were mutants – Logan's dying because he isn't anymore. Who's next? Kurt? Ororo? Lockheed? You?"
"Kitty?"
"What?" she asked, tears streaming down her face. She knew she was being irrational, but all she kept thinking was that she had to get Bobby to leave before something happened to him. As she looked in his eyes, though, she couldn't push him away again when he put his hand on her shoulder.
"I can't make you any promises. Yeah, I could die tomorrow. I could get hit by a bus, or my beat-up car could blow a tire on the expressway. The mansion roof could fall on me, though it seems Warren's repair crew's taking care of that," he said, glaring at the window, "so it's not really likely. I guess one of them could drop a hammer on me, though. Shit, I could even have a heart attack next tax season, if it's as busy as the last one was.
"The same things could happen to you. That's the price we pay for being alive."
"But…"
"I could say I understand how you feel, but I'd be pretending," Bobby said, holding up a hand to cut her off. "I've lost friends, too – Scott, Cloud, Candy, the whole team of New Defenders other than Hank and Warren. Most of them showed up again, later, but I didn't know that when it happened. But everyone handles it differently, so how I feel isn't how you feel." He paused, and Kitty knew he was searching for what he was trying to say.
"I can't know exactly how you feel. I know this, though. You can't block everyone out, Kit. I don't think you could, even if you tried – you care too much about people." He pulled her close, and this time she let him, feeling her muscles loosen as he rubbed her back. "And I care too much about you to let you try," he added quietly.
"You shouldn't," she mumbled, but her voice had lost some of its conviction.
"Too late."
They stood for a few minutes, until Kitty stopped shaking. Finally, she pulled away a bit, so she could look at Bobby. She smiled wryly, and said, "Too late?"
"Yup. Too late," he replied, grinning. "I like you, Kitty. And once I make up my mind that I like someone, they're stuck with me."
"You sound like a stray cat," she replied, and she couldn't keep herself from laughing.
"Yup, that's me."
"Then I guess it's a good think I like stray cats. But…"
"No buts," he said, putting his finger against her lips to silence her. "Let's just take it from there, ok? And I'll promise to try to avoid dying if you will."
"It's a deal," she replied, smiling, and didn't resist as Bobby tipped her chin up and kissed her.