Shared Feelings
By Terra Trepe
Chapter 27: Despaired Eyes
Everything is dark And my head Hyne, what a headache What had happened to my head?
I carefully slip my eyes open. My eyelids feel so heavy I'm so sleepy
I can't turn my head It hurts too much. I don't have strength to do that.
A hazy shadow came before my eyes. I couldn't recognize the face. My eyes are hazy and the room is too dark LightI need light
Quistis, please Go back to sleep I feel someone tugging the blanket more securely up to me, and the only thing I can think is sleep I want to sleep I need to sleep.
My eyes closed up and I heard the familiar voice whisper softly. I didn't recognize the voice, but I didn't care The only thing I cared was sleep Everything is going to be alright, Quistis
And with that, I fell asleep.
Few hours later
I opened my eyes again This time there was light. But the room was still dim
I turned my head to look next to me. My neck hurt from the effort. I stopped when I saw someone moving. He came closer to me and wiped my face with his hand Tenderly. He whispered something But I couldn't hear him Then I recognized him
My throat is so dry. My voice is almost gone, but he heard me.
He hushed me and started to whisper His voice was so soft and I felt dreamy. Go back to sleep, Quistis
I didn't need much convincing My eyelids fell over to my eyes and not long went by when my consciousness flew into world of dreams Sweet, sweet dreams
Four hours later
Something moved over my dry lips Slowly, tenderly It felt like a kiss It's moist, but cold.
I carefully opened my eyes to see what was going on. Still my eyelids felt very heavy I'm still exhausted but I don't want to sleep anymore
He kept on brushing my lips with the piece of cotton rag, looking down to me with his cold eyes. He saw that I started to wake up again and he retreated his hand away from my face How are you feeling He asked softly before placing the piece of cotton back to the glass of water on the table next to my bed.
I looked around me I was at hospital But this wasn't the Garden's infirmary This was a real hospital What had happened to me? I couldn't remember
happened My voice was still ragged God, I felt powerless
He brushed his hand against my forehead slowly, moving the clamp of hair away from my face. Only then I realized that I was sweating I was burning up But still, I was freezing.
Your fever hasn't gotten down yet Try to get more sleep, Quistis No, I don't want to sleep anymore But my eyes closed up slowly
He stood up from his seat and left But I didn't care I was too tired to care And then I fell asleep again
Half hour later
I've given her more medicine now She should be alright. This voice I didn't recognize. But it sounded very formal Perhaps a doctor?
Thank you This whisper came just from my side. It was his voice I recognized it.
I opened my eyes and I saw them. A doctor, whom I had never seen before, and Squall The one who had stayed beside my bed through my pains
But where was Seifer?
My eyes closed up again, but I refused to let sleep overtake me I heard the door opening up and then closing down
Somehow I was able to open my eyes again The doctor had gone away, but Squall was still there
I saw a gentle shadow hovering above me It was a face
I blinked from confusion I felt so dizzy She was here too I called her name softly, feeling a hot wave wash through my body with shivers along my skin I could see Squall's form stiffen slightly from the mention of her name
She isn't here, Quistis I could hear his voice mutter I got more confused What did he mean by that?
I couldn't stop it anymore My eyes closed up and I felt myself even sleepier than before.
She isn't here I could hear him mutter under his breath He wasn't talking to me anymore I could hear it from his voice
It was filled with sorrow
A day later
I felt more relaxed now And the freezing had stopped My fever most be gone now But still, I felt a little powerless
I felt a gentle wind coming from somewhere So gentle and refreshing, when it stroked my bare arms over the covers. I opened my eyes slowly, cautiously when my eyes were welcomed with a bright light beaming towards me
My eyes got used to the new light pretty quickly and I could finally see him
Squall had his back towards me He was standing there, looking the scenery that the window offered to him.
The wind coming through the open window, brushed slowly the cotton curtains framing the little window His brown hair was also ruffling lightly, when the wind tossed them around He seemed free, but also lost and confused
I saw his back shrugging from a deep sigh He was thinking And he obviously didn't like the thoughts that haunted his mind I knew there was something wrong with him But I tried to avoid the thought
Trying to correct my position on the bed, I lifted my upper body up from the depths of my unclean bed I winched in pain and frustration, when I failed with my action, my weight dropping back down to the covers.
Squall turned towards me just then I had no time to look his expressions, but I'm sure he was surprised to see me awaken I had once again interrupted his silent peace of contemplation
You're finally awake He walked next to me, to that same spot where he had been many times before
This time I glanced up to him I could actually feel that the fever had eaten some of my strength I wasn't still fully recovered and I had some noticeable headache
My body demanded for more rest, but my mind was demanding for answers
What actually happened? I mean-- I stopped up with my words for a second How did I end up here
He took a heavy breath and seated himself to the chair next to me. He clenched his fists onto his lap and I could sense he was collecting himself I could still see that he was somehow lonely Somehow far away from here
There was something really bothering him But still, I was trying to avoid that thought Nothing was wrong with him Nothing at all And I bought it
You just simply overused your powers, that is all His answer was cautious and I could sense he was trying to cover something from me, but what? He took another sigh
This time, when he continued, he sounded a little more convincing Nothing was bothering him Seifer found you resting unconsciously on the main hall of Galbadian Garden and then he carried you away from there Another sigh
Still, I was trying to convince myself that there was nothing wrong with him
Luckily to you, the Ragnarock was outside the Galbadian Garden and Seifer brought you there He looked away from me Even when I tried to lock my gaze with him, he refused to look into my eyes Now I was positive there was something wrong with him I just couldn't avoid it anymore
And then you ended up here You had some internal bleeding, but the doctors said that you were going to be alright He finally placed his eyes on me, before continuing And now you're alright again Just like the doctors had promised
Where is Seifer I blurted the question out before I could even think about it.
Squall looked up to me Half of his expressions were showing confusion and the rest was showing understanding I knew I asked the question too suddenly, but I just couldn't hide it anymore
He was silent for a while, before continuing softly His expressions were worried Worried over my react to his coming answer I don't know where he is He told that he couldn't stand seeing you like this anymore He left even when his own health was still at risk Squall's words faded away into the silence that overtook me
So Seifer had left the hospital But had he left me too? I sighed silently, hoping to see him soon There was still so much that I needed to tell him
I looked to Squall again, and somehow I forgot my own problems when I looked up to his eyes. His gaze was hurt and I could see sorrow deepening his eyes with a soft shade of gleam
Squall immediately turned his head away from me He was obviously trying to hide his distress, but I had already saw it
I dropped my own gaze to my hands over the covers I already knew the answer to my next question I hoped it wouldn't be so, but I was realistic There was no way she could have survived from the wounds she had
My words stopped to my clenching throat I looked up to Squall and he looked me I could see tears on his eyes I felt like crying too, but I had to be the strong one now. What about Rinoa Softly, the words rolled over my lips.
Squall shifted on the chair He couldn't stop it anymore and I understood his feelings
Much for my surprise, his words cracked at the middle of his words.
She is Rinoa is dead, Quistis She-- But the rest of his words didn't come out
He sighed deeply and I saw his coulisse breaking down on him. He started to choke up with his tears He couldn't breath anymore and his loud cries shocked me Never before had I seen him like this So open with his feelings, which hurt him more than anything had before
I reached to him with my arms and he almost jumped into my embrace He shivered on my arms and I felt his tears fall over to my hair
I held him even more tightly close to me and I tried to comfort him But not even my soft reassurances, that everything was going to be alright, made him stop his crying
I felt a single tear slipping down from my eye Rinoa had been my best friend Her death made me incredibly sad, but I understood that I had no right to sorrow her At least not as much as Squall
To me, Rinoa had been a really good friend but to Squall, she had been much more
She had been his loved one She had been his everything
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