Disclaimer: the same old same old. I don't own any of the characters in this fic, so don't sue me. I'm poor and it'll only waste ur money.

A/N: Ok this is a pre slash Harry Snape fic. So nothing's going to happen for a while yet, and even when it does it won't be so disgusting or any thing. So even if u are completely horrified by Harry having sex with a man who went to school with his father, or just don't want to picture Snape naked (I'm one of them, the man is too old for Harry in my opinion.) I hope that you can still enjoy this story.

Chapter 4------ Don't Look Back In Anger

Calming Harry down was one of the most difficult things that I had done in a long while. He seemed thoroughly convinced that he was the cause of his mothers' death. It was a long time later that Harry was in a fit enough state to be bale to go back to Gryffindor tower.

And here he was again apologising for the way he had acted and thanking me for the help.

"Really Potter, there's no need to apologise." I told him. "I just want you to know Harry, that your mother loved you dearly. I //know// that."

"You must have been very dear to her."

I gave a small chuckle. "What makes you think that?"

"Apart from that I'm named after you.nothing much. The way you speak of her. And the rarity in which you actually do. I know you loved her. And I can see in your eyes that she asked you to do something."

I nodded, and dipped my nose into a book. "She wanted me to make sure you were ok."

Harry shook his head. "No, there's more." He said. Walking up to me he lifted the book from my hands. "Tell me."

"There's nothing to tell." I tried to lie, but there was something in his eyes. Something that almost made me melt into his arms and cry. But I held myself together and merely said. "It was I who found the way to keep you alive."

I heard him gasp, and I looked up. If he was expecting something, it wasn't that. "She knew?"

Slowly I nodded. "She asked me to find it. I had to look in the restricted section to find it and when I did it was in Latin. Luckily I was always good at languages." I looked Harry in the eye again and he looked distraught. So I carried on. "I told her what I found and that the only way to keep you alive once the curse had been struck was that if she had died for you. To my amazement she was pleased. She told me that her life was over, she only wanted the best for you.

"Her life was only beginning. I tried looking for another way. I looked every where. But I couldn't find it. I looked for what seemed months.I never found it. For years all I thought was that I'd sent your mother to her death."

I looked at Harry again. He didn't seem as shocked as before. In fact he was a lot nearer me. He wrapped his arms around me, as though he was desperately in need of a hug. I tried to pull him off but my muscles just wouldn't work. I wanted him there. I needed him there.

But then he peeled himself off and nodded his thanks. "It wasn't your fault sir." He said. "I don't blame you, and I think I'm the best judge of it."

I nodded and looked at him. "Best to keep with the happy memories." I said chuckling and wiping my eyes.

He smiled ever so slightly. "Which one of the three?"

That made my face fall.

"Excuse me?" I asked blinking several times.

"I said which one of the three." He gave me a small smile. "I don't have that many happy thoughts. I guess."

"But you did the patronus charm perfectly at that Quidditch Match in your third year. You have to think of something happy."

"Me leaving my Uncles house." He bent down to pick up his school bag, which was by his ankles. "I've got to go." He started to walk towards the door.

"Wait!" I called. I leaned a step forward and grasped his shoulder to stop him doing something, and I felt his cold skin underneath his robes and him shiver. "I'll talk to the Headmaster."

He nodded quietly and then when he wanted to go again he gave my hand a quizzical look then my eyes. "Oh," I said quickly before withdrawing my hand.

"Bye then sir."

"Bye.Harry."



"Come in." I heard Albus call, so slowly I opened the door and walked in. "Ah, Severus, and how may you be?"

"I'm fine, I was wondering about a certain Potter."

Albus leaned forward. "And what's wrong with young Harry?"

I twiddled my thumbs out of a sudden bout of nerves that had struck me. "I was just talking to him. And.he told me that he hadn't had a happy life."

"What do you expect?"

"Pardon?"

"Really Severus, how do you think the poor boy must feel? His parents murdered, Voldemort after him wherever he goes. No to mention last years press coverage. The boy has a lot to handle for his age. Something that all of us can merely imagine."

The headmaster leaned further forward and gave me a kind smile. "I know Severus, that you see him as James and Lily's son, as do a few of do Remus and Sirius for example. But many don't, they see him as some saviour of the world. He's famous, it's a burden that he should never have had to bare."

I bowed down my head. "I'm sorry." I whispered mainly to myself.

"For what Severus?"

I found that I had nothing to answer to that.

"You seemed to have grown found of the boy. You know, as you've probably realised. The boy is an awful lot like Lily. Yes he does have that rebellious streak in hi that could only be around in James Potters son."

"Thank you Albus." I told him, just to shut him up about James Potter. I didn't want to relate Harry to him only as much I needed to. Because, Albus was right, he was so much more like his mother. In fact. I was surprised that he was like James Potter at all.

The only thing was. I loved his mother. I didn't even want to think of what could happened if that love passed on.

A/N: I apologise for the shortness but I wanted to time travel for the next chapter.