A/N: Umm, hello It's been a long time since the last update, huh? Almost over a year? I'm sorry about that but I just had the busiest time of my life this past year.

But enough of that, I'm back, and I'm here to stay! I hope that there still are people out there who remember that this story exists. This is the final chapter Yes, trust me, it really is the final chapter! Oh my god, then it means that this is the very first fanfic that I've finished! *jumping up and down in excitement congratulating myself from the huge job* Yeah that really is quite pathetic, even from me

Now if ever is the perfect time to send those reviewsIt would really help me to hear your thoughts from the whole story and once again I'm open for honest critique So let the game begin! Or something

It seems that fanfiction.net isn't working so well with me as it should. The last time I put this chapter up here it was cut from the end so that people couldn't read the story to the end. I couldn't fix that so now I puplish this chapter in two halfs, so just go read chapter 31 after reading this... Sorry for all the trouble it may have cause you... But still enjoy the ending!

Shared Feelings

Chapter 30: Finally I know (1/2)

Quistis walked calmly through the corridors, feeling his presence next to her being almost suffocating It wasn't his fault, her mind told He had been the victim of the most terrible thing she could think of He had lost something really significant Love Rinoa had been an important part of his life and she was gone from this world And even when Squall didn't really talk about it, she knew, just like everyone else, that he was lost in this deep shroud of pain just like in the times before he had met Rinoa But still she couldn't feel anything else but suffocation and uncertainty when being next to him, walking towards somewhere, but where, that was vague for the both of them.

The sun's light coming from the roof window above them, basked over their searching figures The silence was thick, even thicker than ever before and it made Quistis wonder She was starting to feel like Squall had something going on his mind Something else than the obvious pain over Rinoa's death

It's been a whole month, Quistis And he promised to come for you

She turned her eyes to him, feeling something jump up in her chest only from the mere mention of Seifer.

She felt dumbfounded from his chose of words and was still seeking for affirmation that he had really said what she thought she had heard.

I hope you're not doubting his words Squall continued, ignoring her blue-eyed stare that searched his lonely figure through.

She just stared at him and let her thoughts fall into their silence. Then when the silence grew over them again, Quistis was secretly hoping that Squall would drop the subject The subject had been even more painful than she would have ever admitted

Seifer The last time she had seen him was after their escape from Ultimecia's clasp She had heard nothing about him after that, and she was afraid that the time that she had been apart from him, no matter how long that month seemed to be, that it would be extended into even longer time, perhaps even into forever

They kept on walking, and even when Quistis was deep in her thoughts, she was aware that they were now walking into the training center. When she could hear the soft grain's noise under their feet, she felt something awake inside her. A slight suspiciousness started to grew inside her and it told her that Squall had something on his mind Their steps became slower, almost secretly leading them deeper into the jungle of this training center. Quistis could almost feel the coolness of the air around them, mixed up with the question-filled silence and the deep thoughts that stayed unstated.

Ever after Rinoa's funeral, Squall had stayed quiet about lots of things, but so had Quistis too All they had really talked about was the things concerning Gardens and the future of the SeeDs. Quistis wanted to talk about Rinoa's death and his feelings about it but Squall had always been too closed up to even bring up the subject. He didn't really want to talk about it. Even when Quistis tried to open him up, he was determined to end the conversation before she could even start it. And even when Quistis thought that talking about it might help Squall, she also understood why he wanted to avoid it There were just too many things, too many painful memories and so little time had only passed.

Quistis watched ahead of them and could see that the door of the secret meeting place was getting closer and closer And step after step, she noticed that Squall was walking slower and slower, until they stopped, right in front of that door.

He turned to watch her with the same dull gaze than before, and her breath got stuck into her throat only because of that look. Something had changed in him. Something had happened to him in these last few days, and only now she could understand it Something was obviously wrong...

I want to talk.

His words had come out quickly, perhaps even a little too quick for her. Squall suddenly wanting to talk about it confused her, but now when he finally wanted to talk, it would be only unfair to turn her back to him and say no.

Alright If you're sure you're up to it

He crossed his arms across his chest and turned his head to his side, sighing slightly, his ebony hair sliding down to his eyes. It was almost comforting to see him act like that. Like the old good Squall I want to talk about you.

She crossed her arms quickly around herself, suddenly feeling so vulnerable. It was easy to know what he meant with that Too easy, considering that deep inside her mind, she had feared this moment to come The moment where she should talk and Squall would listen pretending that he wanted to hear it all But then again, he really did want to hear it He wanted to help her. This she could see from his blue eyes, no matter how cold they occasionally seemed to be. But she didn't want to be helped, as she liked to think that she didn't need help She only wanted to help him.

I think that it's time to talk about you About you and Seifer

And even when she was so close to start thinking about her own problems and feelings, she made herself surpass those thoughts, as she felt that it would be only selfish to think about her own life when Squall was obviously more hurt than her: I don't want to talk about it

Yes, you do.

She looked into his unmoving eyes, and she knew that it was only useless to even try lying to him. Alright, I do, but not now-- She closed her eyes, being afraid that Squall would see how hurt she was. But she forgot that Squall could read her even without looking into her eyes.

--I want to help you first She opened her eyes, and met his strong gaze with her own. She meant those wordsshe wanted to help him She had always wanted to help him Always.

He suddenly sighed again, this time more heavily. He wasn't going to drop it, no matter how much she wanted him to. All those times when I rejected your offer of help And still you never stopped to be the one trying to help me It's time for me to do the same for you, so please don't try to stop me

She turned away from him. There was nothing that he could do As long as Seifer was gone, it didn't matter what Squall would say It would only be pointless. She needed Seifer to be here, not Squall trying to make up to her about things that happened long time ago in the past. But Squall There really is nothing to talk about it As long as we don't know where he is--

I know where he is

Her eyes opened up as quickly as he had said that. She turned to face him, her mouth slightly open with dumbfound and her blue eyes filled with surprise.

What did you say? Her words were breathless, muffled into her throat before they were said, making her question sound uncertain, not really understandable But only her expressions told him that she was surprised to hear it But now when Squall finally had her attention, he started to tell her the things that he should have told her right after she had awaken in the hospital, seeing that Seifer was gone.

That night in the hospital, days before you had even waken up Seifer came to see you To say goodbye, I guess Squall turned to walk away from her, and he stopped with his steps right behind her back. His words became softer, more understanding He left without giving any sensible reason to do so But when I tried to stop him of going from the hospital that night, I could see the reason in his eyes It sounded like he understood everything that Seifer had doneSquall seemed to know the reason why Seifer had chosen to leave, and he seemed to respect that choiceAnd that was something that she hadn't been able to do And for this one time, she felt like she had no idea what was happening Everything was out of her control now.

You should have seen his eyes, Quistis There was something really bothering him.

Her eyes dropped down to the ground, this time getting covered up with a shine of tears that hurt so much Something was wrong with Seifer She hadn't even thought about this option She had thought that there was something wrong with her Something that made Seifer think that it was better to leave away Hearing that the reason wasn't in her made relief flow in her chestbut it also awoke regret She should have done something to prevent this pain from coming over him No matter what the reason for his sudden pain was, she should have been able to push it away

If only he would be hereIf only

Squall turned around to her, and he faced her back, watching her shrugging form carefully with his eyes. Her head was down, and she seemed to be thoughtful. And her form reflected her concern Squall knew that there was only one thing he could do anymore And after that only she and Seifer could make things happen

You want to see him

His words again, were one step ahead of her But she didn't stop up to think what he meant with that question, she only thought about her answer And she had known the answer before Squall had even asked her the question.

She raised her eyes up from the ground, and turned to Squall, keeping her right hand over her chest. Their gazes were locked up, and Squall saw the spirit in her eyes clearer than ever before The spirit that she had lacked past this month, was now awake

Then go She could see the new hope lighting up in his eyes It was weak, but at least it was something new Quistis felt suddenly that she should say something to him in return from his help but Squall turned away and started to walk away from her before she could say anything.

Tell Seifer That life goes onEven for me, someday And with those words, Squall was getting further away, slipping away from her earshot. And even when she knew that there was no sense to whisper this now, she felt that she had to say it

Thank you, Squall

After watching his figure for a while longer, she turned to the door of the secret meeting place, and took a deep inhale before she dared to open the door and walk in. The shadows immediately landed down to her, when she closed the door behind her. And when she watched ahead of herself, she saw the lazy sun that had only few hours ago got up behind that mountain.

She walked further in, pushing the few green plants away from her way through the passage, and then she finally saw him

A/N: Continues on the Finally I know 2/2. (Chapter 31) Go and read it.