Chapter IV
"Damn them … making us sleep up here in the basement …" Cursed Irvine.
"Up in the basement? Up in the basement? You stupid asswipe …" Squall smirked in the darkness … fairly glad it was dark or he would have received a swift hit with a barrel of Irvine's gun.
"I believe it's up in the cellar …" Seifer corrected him.
"That's the same thing, you moron!" Squall snapped, now fairly annoyed at his companions' stupidities.
"Fine, Leonheart … what is this high place that we're in?" Seifer glowered, "Huh?"
"Well … it's called an attic." Squall informed.
"Yeah, well fuck you and your stupid grammatical lessons!" Irvine yelled.
"It's not grammatical lessons, it's common sense you stupid apeshitter!" Squall yelled back.
"Fuck you!" Seifer yelled.
"No, fuck YOU!" Squall spat back.
"SHUUUUTTTT UUUUUPPPPPPP!!!!" A shrill cry came from bellow them. Only it could be recognized as Selphie's.
"FINE! WE WILL!" Irvine yelled at the floor.
"What was the thing that just crawled across my navel?" Squall asked.
"Probably your own hand, you pervert." Seifer mocked.
"No, I'm serious … something just ran across."
"Um … guys, I felt it too." Irvine said, his voice slightly shaking. "I seriously hope that really isn't your hand, Squall …because we're just friends … friends … ok?"
"Oh, yeah … I really want to kiss you! You've probably got … herpies or something!"
They might have been a little slow however, the realization dawned on them that maybe it was really some unknown creature. So the three sprinted up and down the stairs leading to the main floor.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" Seifer yelled as a warning to the girls.
"What the hell?" The three other girls yelled out, "It's three … in the MORNING!"
"There's something upstairs … and it's very, very dangerous! So stand back … us men'll take care of it." Seifer calmed down.
"Men? By hearing that scream Seifer, we could hardly call you a man." Quistis mocked, "Sissy boy, sissy boy … SISSY BOY!"
"Shut up!!" Seifer yelled back.
"In any case … we've got to take care of this thing quickly because …" Selphie stopped for a moment and sniffed the air … "Ok, who let that one rip? What? Are you guys so scared that one of yous shat their own pants??"
"That … stench is not human." Rinoa coughed, "In can only be one thing … and I know this from experience."
"So what is it?" Squall asked irritably, "No … wait … what's the experience?"
It was lucky for Squall that it was dark. Because if looks could kill, he'd be six feet under, "Anyways …" Rinoa hissed, "SKUNK!"
At that moment everyone ran through the door and outside on the fields. The lights at the neighbor's house switched on and old McGreggor with his limp came out with his Luger. "What in tarnation is goin' on over there?"
"Uh … nothing, Sir. We're just having ourselves a little fun." Squall tried to reassure the old man with something plausible.
"Ooh … that's a nice bunch of whores you got yourselves."
"THAT'S IT, I DON'T CARE IF HE HAS A LIMP, I'M TAKING THAT GUN AND SHOVING IT UP HIS-" Rinoa started towards the old man but was caught around her waist by a nearby Squall who held her back. "LEMME GO, LEMME GO!"
"Can I join ya?" The farmer grinned.
"No, sorry … one hole for all, that's the rules." Irvine slapped his forehead. That old man needed a wife, or a goat or ANYTHING.
"We need to go back in." Selphie whispered, "Unless one of you can build us a new house."
"I can … I was planning to anyways." Squall said, "Right now we could sleep in the barn, destroy the house tomorrow and I could start building a shack and while we're sleeping there I'd build a real house."
"How long would that take? How big is the shack? Will it have indoor plumbing?" Rinoa was going into hysterics.
"Two months, tiny, no." Squall replied smiling, "And if you need to go now I suggest the bushes over there … but before I'd check where I stepped."
"Oh … great." Rinoa was about to start crying.
"What's indoor plumbing?" Old McGreggor had resurfaced.
"Nothing, sir. Go back to sleep." Seifer tried to keep the aggravation from his voice.
"Ok fine …" The old man went back into his maggot-eaten cabin.
"So hows for that house idea?" Squall asked.
"Fine … but we're only sleeping with the pigs for A NIGHT." Rinoa snapped, "AND you guys will have to build an extra shack because we aren't sleeping in the same room as you!"
"Suuuure, princess." Squall 'agreed'. He supposed it could shut her up for the remaining of the night and so henceforth he wouldn't have to deal with her until tomorrow evening.
"So tomorrow, we'll show you around our land, girls." Irvine smirked.
Sammy-Chan: Ok, this was a very short and …. USELESS chapter … however, I like the skunk. Well, it's not useless, as Ekika will say because it's going to get the story moving along and those 'relationships' blossoming … Teehee … As our evil French teacher would call it … it's a mini 'element declencheur'. Ahh … bull to that! Review, review and review!
Ekika: Well then…. 'Useless'… My ass! Anyways, I forbid the French language right about now… especially that French teac… *exiles Sam to the couch* Anyways, *very suspicious right now* like you are always… *hears Sam's science shit and chucks a pen at her* AHEM. Anyways, as I was saying, please perform your readerly… *turns to Sam in the background* WOULD YOU CUT THAT OUT?!!!! Anyways, review…. And Don't say anything… mOBSCENE… I like that song….