Chapter VI
Selphie bounced around the room excitedly, at occasion stopping in front of a cow and giving off long, exaggerated 'Moo's. Irvine watched her go impatiently, wondering if the small, energetic girl would decide to do any work herself today.
He looked back to his work … shoveling cow manure into a pile. The manure was usually used to fertilize the soils of the cornfield. He sniffed the air disgustedly and continued piling on the digested substance.
Selphie giggled and poked a cow, moved on to a sheep and rustled it's wool, "Your name is going to be CLOUD! And your name is going to be PUFFY!" She stroked another sheep. "And you are FLUFFY!" She moved on to another sheep. Then she looked at Irvine's prized cow, "AND YOU SHALL BE THE GREAT BESSIE!"
"Oh Hell NO!" Irvine gasped, disturbed at the ugly name she had just given to his pride and joy, "Her name … is something … cool! Like … CoolCow. Or … SupaCow … or … Bovine."
"Laaaame-ooooo!" Selphie screeched at him and hopped onto the back of the cow, "Wheee! Let's go for a piggy back ride … or … a cowy back ride in this case." She laughed at her own joke.
"Get off that cow." Irvine snapped, irritated. In response she stuck out her tongue. "Get off that cow." He repeated, this time with more anger to his words, "I SAID GET THE HELL OFF THAT COW!" As the animal began a slow trudge around the barn.
"Come here and make me …" Selphie chirped happily, "Yeehaw!" She smacked the cow on the behind, "Go lil Bessie, go, go!" The cow only continued to walk leisurely around its pen.
Furious, the cowboy dropped his shovel, stormed over to the fence of the pen and attempted to climb it and reach the annoying girl riding his prized cow …
'Conveniently' forgetting that his boots were caked in slippery, slimy, nasty excrement. Upon arriving that the top of the fence he swung his leg down only to make contact with more slippery, slimy, nasty excrements … thus falling … into more slippery, slimy, nasty excrements. Oh woe was him …
"This … is … the … worst … day … OF MY LIFE!" He yelled loud enough to scare the crows that were perched on the roof of the barn.
***
"I'm not going to get that lonesome, rejected apple … just because it reminds me so much of you." Quistis pointed at the poor apple on the damaged tree with weak swaying branches.
"Yeah you are. That is your first assignment from your master, young grasshopper."
"You did NOT just call me a grasshopper." She gaped disbelievingly.
"Yeee … anyways. Get the apple." Seifer ordered, "You will get the apple, come back down and offer me your body."
"I will what?" She snapped, "Like Hell I will!"
"Fine, change of plans. You will get the apple, fall off the branch and crack your neck."
"Now why should I do that, so I can die?"
"That would be the point. Putting us in two different dimensions … I amongst the living, and you amongst the … DEAD!" He said enthusiastically, putting two thumbs up, "Got it … young grasshopper?"
"I-am-not-a-bug!" Quistis strung the words together as one in an angry rage.
"No … you're a bitch. Last time I checked that was a mammal."
"Bite me!" She screeched.
"Sorry, I'm not into cannibalism … yet. I'll give you a call when I follow Hannibal Lector's footsteps!"
She snorted and began examining apples on a very picky scale.
"Rotten …" She chucked an apple, "Rotten …" She chucked another one, "Rotten …"
Seifer turned around, shaking with anger at all the apples she had declared rotten had ended up bouncing off his head, "Will you stop that?!"
"Rotten …" Quistis threw another one at him as a response.
"You do that again and I swear I'll-"
"Rotten!" This apple was so bad it splattered against his head, "Oh … that looks good on you." She remarked before grabbing some more apples again.
"Not funny." He replied through clenched teeth, wiping away apple remains.
Quistis who had resulted to laughing her ass off retorted with childish glee, "Yes it is."
***
"I said don't touch my axe!" Squall snapped each time Rinoa got too close to his backpack.
"Which axe?" She asked innocently, silently plotting the ways she could decapitate him from behind.
"The pointy, sharp … dangerous one." He snapped once more, impatiently.
"Oooh … you mean, this one." She grabbed it from his bag, swinging it menacingly towards him.
His eyes went wide with fear, "My final days have come … an angry woman with an axe."
"Ah, that's where you're wrong. I don't want to hurt you." She put on a cooing voice, "I'm not angry at you, Squally-Wally. I JUST WANT TO CUT YOUR FREAKING HEAD OFF AND GOUGE YOUR EYES OUT!" And then added, "WITH A SPOON!"
His eyes were threatening to pop out of his head, leaving no need for her spoon. He turned around and began to run for the barn, trying desperately to out-run a very savage looking Rinoa…
In vain. The rampant girl caught up to him and knocked him over, having dropped the axe to run a little faster. It seemed as though nature was not on their side for at that precise moment they fell down a hill.
One over the other they rolled down the hill, hitting odd places and what not. A few rebellious rocks decided to lodge themselves in the falling teenagers, causing yelps of pain to erupt from the victims of nature's fun.
However, that was not where the 'fun' stopped. No. It seemed that the pair had gone the wrong way and there was a river at the foot of the hill. Unable to do anything about it, they fell in the entity of water.
And no one said that the water was warm. No one said that Rinoa's shirt wasn't white. No one said that the flow of water wasn't fast. No one said that there wasn't going to be a big splash.
And guess what? The water was freaking cold! Rinoa's shirt was white! The 'said river' was a rapid … and there was a big splash.
"I CAN'T SWIM!" Rinoa's shrieks rose before the water's current.
"You are the biggest trouble I've ever encountered!" Someone grabbed her from around her waist, "Get onto my back!"
"Huh?" She clung onto him as if he was life support, "STOP LOOKING AT MY CHEST!" Her fist pounded into his back.
"What? Do I now have eyes behind my head?!!" He yelled over his shoulder at the shrieking girl.
"YES!! YOU DO!!!" She screamed back, "You're like those freaky guys that stare at girls in the bus shelters! The old, homeless men!"
"Well, know this: there's fall coming up!"
"WHAT??" she screamed…
But by then it was too late. They had already crashed into the icy water bellow.
"I'm trouble, eh?" She retorted as the flow of water calmed down to a floatable pace, "And quit looking at my chest!"
Sabam: Muwahaha … isn't it such a heart-warming chapter? *Tumble weed of silence rolls by, adds sarcastically* Oh yeah, I can tell we really played with your emotions today. Sorry it took so long to update but we're really busy people … *Thinks* Even though we had the entire summer to update … I mean, uh … yeah. It's not OUR fault that we lost the paper towel that contained the chapter … *Cries* We were too poor to get paper. Anyways … Ekika's comments …
Ekika: Don't blame me… It was all Sam's fault. Anyways, returning to the conformity isn't as easy as it sounds either… And um… We are faced with a new dilemma: We need a topic for Science Fair. I'll make a deal with you all (even if it's like making a deal with the devil): At least five good suggestions and we will post soon… Okay. Fine, sooner than this post… *cries* Did I mention how sorry we are? WE ARE WORMS!!!!!!!!!! PLEASE????
Anyways, give us your suggestions in the form of a beautiful and very lovely review. Once again: WE. ARE. WORMS.