Chapter One: October 30th, 1980
Sirius Black knew his time was running out. Seconds slipped by, not caring that they could be his last. Tiny noises made him twitch as he sat, waiting, watching the door. In the darkness, shadows hid his features and the tense look settled on them. Every light in the house was off, and wearing black clothes hid Sirius perfectly against prying eyes. Only the occasional twitch of his hand betraying life in the kitchen.
His wand lay ready on the table, near the twitching finger that was eager to begin the night's events. He would fight before surrendering, after all, he had to make it look good. That thought provoked a small smirk to cross his face as he continued to watch. How long would he live?
Not long after the truth came out.
Still timed passed, pressing onward with no concern…and then something changed.
An almost manic grin appeared on his face when he heard the tiny creaking of the porch outside the kitchen door. Someone had arrived, a silhouette of their shadow dancing across the curtains, surveying the area. Taking care to keep quiet, Sirius turned his head slightly, eyeing the curtains by the front door for a similar probing shadow, but none emerged.
A golden glow lit his face briefly as the Alohomora Charm unlocked the brass handle and the door swung open with a barely audible click. The door swung aside to reveal a figure swathed in black, a stark comparison to the skull-like mask he or she wore. Moving quickly and silently they lit up the room with a muttered charm, freezing where they stood at Sirius's sudden revelation in the glow.
Blinking in the sudden light, Sirius frowned, it wasn't just egotistical, but he had expected more than one Death Eater to show up. He might be one of the younger wizards fighting Voldemort, but with his friends they were a power not to be underestimated. A single Death Eater would never be enough to capture one of them, only to…kill...them.
Then, as the intruder levelled their wand at his face, instincts took over and Sirius snatched his wand from the table while jerking his chair over backwards.
As Sirius fell he saw a beam of deadly green light wash overhead, throwing his own arm forwards he conjured a thick red beam that slammed into the Death Eater. The powerful Stunning Jinx sent the Dark Wizard through Sirius's door, reducing it to a pile of splinters. The chair landed with a crunch and Sirius rolled off into a crouch, rubbing a sore spot on his back where the wooden rungshad dug into him, but that was only a fleeting concern.
Moving quickly out the doorway he was in time to kick the Death Eater's wand away as they sought it amongst the door's remains. With a scream of fury they lashed out with a punch at Sirius, their knuckles scraping the side of his head as he dodged the ill-timed blow.
His reply was much more effective.
Rubbing his sore knuckles, Sirius knelt down beside the Dark Wizard who lay among the slivers of wood once more. Blood flowed freely from the nose of their mask where his fist had struck them. Grabbing the skull mask roughly, Sirius found a purchase on the face beneath and held it tightly, bringing their face close to his. Keeping his wand steady, he jammed the tip beneath the mask and held it against the Death Eater's neck.
'You were supposed to take me alive,' Sirius snarled, 'why try to kill me?'
The grating voice that replied told Sirius it was a man he'd been fighting. 'We don't need you,' they spat, a trickle of blood flowing out of the mask's mouth, 'you're no use to the Dark Lord.'
In reply, Sirius tore the mask away from the wizard's head to reveal the battered face beneath. 'Why have I become no good to Voldemort?' he asked, confused at this revelation.
'You were, up until a point. Then you weren't needed anymore,' was the Dark Wizard's reply, his eyes delightful at the uncertainty on Sirius's face.
'What do you mean up to a point?' Sirius asked, confusion turning to a feeling of dread deep inside him. The man made no attempt to reply, but Sirius's wand sparked suddenly, sending a burning stream of red sparks over the man's skin.
'Up to the point where you were betrayed.' The Dark Wizard spat hurriedly. Despite the pain of the burn, there was an evil sneer on his face that matched the delight in his voice.
Sirius felt terror rise inside him, in one second he knew the plan had fallen apart. 'They're all going to die,' the Death Eater continued, his voice harsh and dripping with hatred, 'and there's not a thing you can do about it.'
'Wrong,' Sirius replied, the terror in him replaced by determination in an instant, drawing back a fist and knocking the Death Eater into unconsciousness. Striding quickly down the path Sirius shifted his motorbike from where it leant against the fence, starting up the motor as he did so. Ignoring the usual safety and anti-Muggle precautions he clambered on, gunned the engine and pausing only to grab his helmet off the gate post, he accelerated away and into the air, three names echoing in his head.
James, Lily, Harry…oh God
Behind him the Death Eater stirred slowly, groaning and wiping blood from his nose where Sirius's last punch had broken bones. Drawing a small, flat object he looked around cautiously, checking that no curious bystanders had emerged from the shadows. He needn't have bothered in the isolated village, Sirius's cottage was a full mile from any of the others.
Muttering into the square he looked up and around once more, then brought a hand up to his bloodied nose. With a sudden wrench he snapped it back into joint, staggering over the garden path in response to the pain.
He was still cursing under his breath when indecipherable words came from the square, holding it up to his face the wizard's features were lit by reflected moonlight. 'Black is on his way,' the Dark Wizard replied, his voice loud in the smothering silence of the night. The reply was as quiet as the first, but it left a tight smile on the man's face.
Bending over and picking up his wand he shouted a word into the night, sending a green spell high into the air over the house. Surveying his work the Dark Wizard looked around once more, then with a crack he was gone.
Above Sirius's house, an emerald skull hovered menacingly, a snake poised to strike from its gaping mouth.
Sirius sped through the air without engaging anti-detection charms, not caring if some Muggle was to see him, or if Arthur Weasley quoted some damned 'misuse of a Muggle artefact regulation' at him afterwards, that would probably be the least of his worries. Despite the roaring of his motorbike's engine it seemed to Sirius that he was smothered in silence, the cloudless sky only enhancing his sense of isolation.
Momentarily his head cleared as the sense of isolation overwhelmed his thoughts. Casting a glance off to his left he was almost ready to turn, until the Death Eater's harsh words returned to haunt him.
'They're all going to die…not a thing you can do about it.'
'Wrong,' Sirius said again, gunning the engine and speeding forward once more, heading for a break in the distant range of hills. Glancing left once more he shook his head, 'You're on your own Moony,' he said to the air, then roared onward.
Racing over the country it wasn't long before he saw the tiny hamlet of Godric's Hollow ahead of him, the few streetlights making it glow in the depths of the valley. Slowing down as he approached, Sirius's face visibly blanched, his normal complexion turning waxy. Most of the small town's houses were bathed in the semi-darkness, their lights doused at the late hour, but one home shone like a beacon.
'Damn you Peter,' Sirius said, his voice hard, 'God damn you.' Taking his foot off the accelerator Sirius felt the motorbike descend, still going at speed. Gripping hard on the brakes he swung the bike around as he landed roughly, skidding across the road leaving a rubber 'C' burnt there. He was off the bike before it finished moving.
Vaulting over the bolted gate he drew his wand as he neared the house's back door, icy fear filling his stomach. The door to the kitchen was ajar, looking at the lock he could see no force had been used to open it. Holding his wand steady he eased it fully open until he could see into the kitchen clearly.
Nothing.
Moving swiftly he ducked inside the door, blinking against the sudden light, without a noise he shut the door behind him, keeping an eye on the silent room. Holding his wand by his side he flattened himself against the wall beside the entrance to the dining room. Listening carefully he closed his eyes briefly and muttered a prayer, then flashed past the entrance with his wand ready…nothing.
Inching his way along the wall Sirius ignored the shifting backgrounds of the photos he passed, ignoring the muffled sniggers of the others as they watched him pass. Waiting beside the hallway entrance he looked back, his heart overruling his brain. Already in the group photo Lupin and James were mimicking his movements, broad grins on their faces.
Turning back, Sirius glanced into the corridor, still there was no-one. Stepping into the hallway silently he aimed his wand up the stairs, watching for movement as he edged toward the lounge entrance. Pausing by the arch he noticed the front door was still locked: Let me be wrong, Sirius thought, let it all be a mistake, they're just out for a walk…at this time of night? Gritting his teeth Sirius cursed his own mind's common sense, then with his wand ready once more he turned into the lounge.
Looking around he saw the fire burning merrily in its place, the flames expelling heat as they greedily consumed the stack of wood placed in the grate. The chairs and table were undisturbed, books lay scattered in random places, but with James they always were. Despite this Sirius still could not dispel the fear he felt, walking back out he lowered the wand slowly, glancing briefly back into the kitchen.
Sitting on the table, previously unnoticed, were James's glasses. The right lens was shattered into a cobweb of fracture lines, each segment reflecting the light that shone in the room.
Walking slowly back Sirius felt a shiver run through him, and as he stopped by the table his knees began to shake. A trembling hand picked up the glasses, intact apart from the lens. Looking around Sirius saw the lens cloth lying on the floor, almost hidden beneath the tablecloth that ran to the ground.
In his minds eye he saw James, polishing his glasses with the cloth, an image replaying a thousand times over in a thousand different ways. And dropping them, shattering a lens as they landed and bounced.
'James!' Sirius whispered, a crackle of energy suddenly surging through him. Dropping the glasses he turned and ran from the kitchen, grabbing the end of the stair rail Sirius flung himself up the first steps, wand held in front of him as he leapt around a corner of the stairwell…and froze
A crumpled body lay at the top of the stairs.
For minutes Sirius simply stood in the corner, leaning against the wall as deep, racking breaths shook his body. The tip of his wand slowly lowered with each breath. Slowly he began to move, his free hand pulling on the handrail to drag his reluctant feet up the steps, the other vaguely waving the wand in front of him. Stumbling up the stairs, Sirius moved jerkily, as if a puppet on strings, all pulling him towards the body.
James's body.
Arriving at the top Sirius noted the wand lying beside his friend, before his eyes wandered further he shut them, not wanting to see his friend's lifeless features. God, let me be wrong, he prayed, slowly opening his eyes to look into James's face.
The plea was banished from his mind.
James's hazel eyes stared into nothing, his mouth lay open, but no breath came from within. Sirius felt his knees give way as he collapsed to the floor. He felt his body folding over as it tried to contain the turmoil of emotions within him.
Sirius huddled beside his best friend, silently mouthing his name as tears fell down his face. His trembling hand reached out, and gently closed the sightless eyes as Sirius continued to let grief roll over him. Sobbing quietly Sirius pulled himself to the top of the stairs where he fell against the wall, his fingers trying to pushing against the flat surface for support as sorrow flooded through him.
It was only when he turned his face away from James's body that Sirius heard the soft creaking.
Recklessness overcame caution and grief, pulling his weakened body up Sirius charged along the hallway his wand held at the ready, skidding through the entrance into Harry's room. The scene before him burnt itself into his eyes and Sirius fell to his knees again, a strangled sob escaping his throat. There was a silent clatter as his wand fell from his nerveless hands, slowly rolling over the floorboards of the nursery. Before he could fall Sirius grasped the doorframe, digging his fingers into the wooden timbers to stay upright.
Lily lay on the floor, face down, as if she'd been turning away from a threat, her red hair covering her face from Sirius's view. Her motionless body told Sirius that if he turned her over the same sightless eyes would stare back at him. Tears continued to roll down his face as his body gently swayed in the doorway, each sob sending his body into a different motion.
Still on his knees he slowly turned his head to the source of the creaking, in the corner of the room Harry's cot stood, gently swinging back and forth.
Reaching with a shaking hand Sirius grasped the handle of the door, pulling himself up on wavering knees, his other hand still clutching the doorframe. Stumbling away from the room's entrance Sirius slumped against the cupboard, ignoring the creaking hinges as the cupboard door swung open when he stumbled away. Walking around Lily's body Sirius let his gaze drop to her as he passed, each shuffling footstep bringing a fresh tear from his eyes.
Tearing his eyes away from the gentle red halo of Lily's hair, he approached the rocking cradle, each step he took increasing the pain that tore though his heart. The cradle stopped swinging as Sirius put a shaking hand onto the side, feeling the smooth grain of wood beneath his hand. The absence of creaking filled the room with an encircling silence, even the squeaking door hinges silenced themselves as Sirius looked into the cot.
A mess of rumpled blankets covered the bottom, and in the folds and shadows he saw the outline of Harry. Two small hands had a tight grip on the topmost cover, resisting Sirius's initial effort to pull back the soft cloth. Gently manipulating Harry's tiny fingers, he managed to draw the blanket away, watching as the tiny fists clenched fully and froze.
In that instant Sirius felt his feelings die, his despair was so great that he could not feel anymore. No more tears fell from his face as it froze, a portrait of complete grief.
As Sirius aimlessly removed the blanket covering the baby's tiny body, a tiny gurgle arose to meet him, and one of the tiny hands reached out to clutch one of Sirius's fingers. Two emerald eyes stared back at Sirius as he leant forward, delighted at the attention Harry let out a squeal of fondness.
Sirius felt his heart soar as Harry grasped Sirius's finger with the other hand as well, the two tiny palms elatedly playing with their new toy. A smile of hope crossed Sirius's face, and a single tear fell from his eye, crawling down his face until he lightly dabbed it away. Tenderly pulling his finger free, Sirius folded the blanket around Harry once more, wrapping his godson in the soothing blankets.
As Sirius leant forward to pick up Harry a thick red beam of light shot out of the open cupboard behind him, striking his right shoulder. With paralysing force he was thrown across the cot to bounce into the corner of the room, striking his head on the wall. Pain rippled through his body, enough to keep him conscious as he slid down the wall to land in a tumble of limbs.
The crash of the toppling cradle sounded throughout the room, and beneath the noise Sirius heard purposeful footsteps cross the room, walking towards the crying bundle of blankets that had tipped from the cot. Trying to open his eyes Sirius found his head thumping, trying to put a hand to his head he found it unresponsive, a leaden weight holding it by his side.
Harry's agitated wailing increased as the dull thump in Sirius's head receded, and as his eyelids fluttered open he saw a green light briefly illuminate the room.
His eyes focused eventually on a black cloaked figure standing over the swath of blankets, their wand pointing down inside it. Sirius tried to rise as the figure lifted his head to face him and red eyes flashed in anger amidst a deathly pale masque. Sirius desperately struggled to move but was frozen once more, but not by his emotions. The figure lifted their wand from the cot and pointed it at Sirius's chest.
One pale hand reached up and drew back the hood of the cloak, and Sirius heard his breath catch as the face beneath appeared.
Pale white with flattened nostrils and blazing eyes, Lord Voldemort stood before Sirius, his cruel lips drawn back in pitiless scorn. 'You should never have come, Black,' he said, his voice a sibilant hiss, 'but at least you can serve a purpose now.'
Leaning over the cot Voldemort's eyes burnt into Sirius, even as feeling returned to his body. 'Albus knew you were their secret keeper, so he knows you are their murderer,' Voldemort continued, his lips drawn back over his teeth, revealing a predatory sneer. 'I hope you enjoy Azkaban, you'll have all your life to remember you failed.'
A scream of rage tore itself from Sirius's throat and he launched himself up from the corner where he had fallen, ready to take Voldemort down by force alone.
He never made it. The second stunning spell caught Sirius dead in the chest and overrode his already shattered nerves. Collapsing backwards, Sirius glimpsed Voldemort's cloak whipping out the door before a dark nothingness took his mind.
'Hold him Sirius.' Lily said, holding Harry out toward him as she made to cross to the cooker in the kitchen. 'Hurry up or I'll burn dinner.'
'Lily, no…Lily, I'm serious don't…Lily.' The protests ended as Sirius found Harry dangling in front of him, his shining eyes trapping Sirius in his seat.
'He won't bite,' she replied softly, steadily placing Harry in Sirius's arms with a satisfied smile. Harry's tiny hands wove a myriad of patterns in front of Sirius, tilting his head he became entranced by their movements. Lifting his own hand he ran a finger along Harry's forehead causing the baby to let out another squeal of contentment, his emerald green eyes darting to follow Sirius's finger, grasping it with his own hands before promptly putting it in his mouth.
'You'd be a good father,' James said from his seat opposite Sirius at the table.
'Hmm?' Sirius replied, still entranced by the baby in front of him, now happily chewing his finger with toothless gums.
'Would you like to be his godfather?' James asked offhandedly, wearing the same contented smile as Lily as she joined his side. There was no response from Sirius at first as he was extricating his now drool coated finger from Harry's mouth. 'Are you listening, Padfoot?' James said, watching the joy in his friend's eyes.
'Hmm?' Sirius answered again before his brain caught up and he turned to them, his mouth gaped in sudden puzzlement. Both Lily and James were now watching him with mischievous smiles, but also with the warmth they all felt as he ran the idea through his head again.
Looking back at Harry, a smile broke out over his face as the young boy gurgled and grabbed for another finger to chew on, 'Yes,' he said. A warm feeling flooded inside him, for once he would make a worthwhile decision in what he did, 'Most definitely yes.'
Sirius turned back to his friends and fear gripped him.
Where a hugging and smiling couple had been, two grey-eyed and battered corpses looked back, their faces greeting him with hideous grins as dead flesh tightened over their jaws. Sirius slid his chair back from the table in horror, clattering against the kitchen units as he stood, clutching Harry protectively to his chest.
Sirius heard a strange whine emerge from his godson's mouth, and he looked at Harry only to find his eyes dead as well. Two small hands reached up and fastened around Sirius's clothes, pulling him lower to the shocking face before him.
'No!' he whimpered as the room began to spin around him and fear filled his heart. The dizzying motion sent him tipping him forward, into the dead grey eyes…
'NO!' he shouted, awaking with a violent convulsion as he broke free of the nightmare, sweating and pale, his eyes danced wildly as he took in his surroundings. Far from Harry's room, he was in a concrete grey block, and by the feel of it he now sat on a wooden cot.
A dull throbbing made his head dizzy and with a shaking hand he felt dried blood matted against his hair where he had struck the wall. His other hand shot to his empty pocket and he felt a chill inside. His wand had gone and he had no idea where he was, in Sirius's experience just one of these circumstances was bad enough...two was worse. Starting to sit up he paused when raised voices echoed into his room through the small barred window on the door…he was the subject.
'I'm tellin' yeh, yer wrong,' a heavily accented voice grunted, betraying a gruff owner.
'Rubeus, I know what happened, you know what happened, now let me see him.' This voice was slightly calmer, but a controlled undertone of rage reached Sirius's ears. Despite the unusual anger that emanated from the men, Sirius knew them both well.
'Yeh can't see 'im,' Hagrid replied to Lupin, 'now jus' wait fer Dumbledore.'
'No, I have to see Sirius now –' Lupin began to retort before Sirius heard a dull thump like a sack of potatoes smacking the wall.
From it Sirius gathered Hagrid had hit something solid with his fist. 'Yeh don't wan' me ter make yeh wait, Remus,' he growled, and despite the tired undertone Hagrid sounded fierce, 'not tonigh''.
There was a long pause during which Sirius could imagine Lupin gazing into Hagrid's eyes, the two of them communicating a silent understanding…'Fine.' Accompanying this came the scraping of a chair, followed by the scraping of a table as the two men sat down to wait.
Sirius wanted to leap up and run to the door, shouting for his friends to let him out, but an instinct told him to remain quiet. From their brief conversation Sirius could guess what they thought had happened at Godric's Hollow. He didn't have to try the door handle to know it would be locked – they thought he was responsible – responsible for killing more of his friends.
And in a way...he was.