Chapter Six

Much to Harry's dismay, Dumbledore came to visit the next day and point out that it was time for Harry to leave. He assured him that he would be picked up by the Weasleys soon and would be spending the rest of the summer at the Burrow.

"I'll visit you," Sirius said.

"You can't," Harry said. "You can't come to the Weasleys. Molly and Arthur and Ginny are all there, and God forbid that Percy choose that day to drop in."

"I'm getting really sick of people telling me where I can and can't go," Sirius snarled. "Why doesn't someone just put me in a box?"

Harry looked taken aback at this sudden viciousness, and stammered something. Remus cleared his throat and gently interrupted. "You should go take a few days to visit the twins at their new apartment," he said, giving Harry a meaningful look.

Harry nodded, relieved at this suggestion. "Yeah . . . Ron and I will have to do that."

"Sorry," Sirius said quietly.

Harry gave him a smile that looked slightly forced. "Don't worry about it. You're still on edge, it's okay."

Sirius pulled him into a hug. "I can tell by the look on your face that it's really not okay," he said.

"Well, it'll have to be," Harry stated firmly. "All right, I'm off." He turned and gave Remus a hug too, startling the other man. Dumbledore was waiting patiently in the doorway, having informed Harry that, now that they were on pleasant terms with the Ministry and could use the Floo network, he would be popping right back out into his aunt and uncle's living room. This wasn't a good idea, but Harry was anxious to see the looks on their faces.

Sirius and Remus both waved after him, and Dumbledore shut the door as they left with a final click.

"We'll see him soon," Remus assured Sirius.

"I'll just keep telling myself that," Sirius said. "Maybe I'll write myself a note."

Remus gave him a look. "We will see him soon," he said. "He can go to the twins' for a few days and we can visit him there. Maybe in a few weeks, all right? Use the time to rest up."

Sirius nodded. Then frowned. "Wait a minute, the twins?"

"Yeah. Fred and George Weasley." Remus looked at Sirius, confused.

Sirius blinked at him. "Why is it not okay for Arthur to know about me, but it's okay for the twins? They have a worse reputation for rule-breaking than -- okay, maybe not worse."

"You don't remember?" Remus asked. "The twins helped us resurrect you."

Sirius frowned more. "I don't remember much of anything," he finally admitted. "I get little clips, and I'm not sure of what's real and what's not. Obviously, I get confused."

Remus sat next to him on the edge of the bed and reached out, smoothing his hair. "It's okay. Harry and I asked the twins to help us, to be a diversion if we needed one, and help some with the planning. They're the closest things to Marauders as we had -- and they could be trusted. They owed Harry for a favor."

"Big favor," Sirius mentioned.

"He gave them his Triwizard winnings to open their joke shop."

"That's a big favor," Sirius repeated.

"So, I'm sure Harry can talk Molly into letting himself and Ron go stay with the twins for a few days," Remus said, still running his fingers through Sirius' hair. "As long as Dumbledore tells her it's okay, and I'm sure he will if we tell him about it."

Sirius resisted the urge to say something nasty about Molly, given that he was still angry with her over the last time they had argued. Instead, he just nodded.

"Now, don't be a prat," Remus said reprovingly. "Molly was just worried about Harry. You two have different methods, but you both act out of caring for him. You know that."

"I don't tell her how to raise Ron," Sirius replied.

Remus gave him a look. "You have absolutely no connection with Ron. Yes, you're Harry's godfather -- but for three years, she did her best to mother him. She's very attached to him."

"If we had argued about how I was raising Harry, I might not be so utterly pissed off," Sirius retorted. "But she told me that I couldn't even tell who he was."

Remus sighed. "She was upset, Sirius. We all say stupid things when we're upset."

"Yes, well, she could have left," Sirius said. "Whereas I could have gone into another room to be yelled at by my mother or tormented by Kreacher."

"Never mind," Remus said wearily. "Let's just stop arguing about it."

Sirius grimaced, realizing that he had upset Remus. "You know, I'm really starting to think that any control over my emotions has gone out the window."

Remus snorted. "You say that as if it's new. But you've been like this ever since you got back from Azkaban."

"It doesn't say much for me, does it," Sirius said despondently.

"Sure it does," Remus said. "It says that you've had an incredibly difficult life. You're allowed to have problems, Sirius. Just please try to see where Molly was coming from. To her, you were the outsider. You were the person that didn't know how to take care of him."

"God damn it, I was trying!" Sirius burst out suddenly. "I want something in my life to go right!"

Remus had flinched involuntarily at the sudden loud outburst. "It was bad timing, that was all. Everyone was tense and worried and no one agreed on what to do. You do fine with Harry, Sirius. You really do."

"You really think so?" Sirius asked. "Despite the fact that I'm clearly out of my head?"

"I really think so," Remus assured him.

"Thanks," Sirius said. "Do you really think I could transfigure a house?"

Remus laughed. "I think that if anybody could, it would be you."

"So maybe I should put it here on Hogwarts grounds," Sirius reflected. "If Hagrid has a hut, why can't we have a small -- or large -- cottage?"

"Because I'm a werewolf and you're an escaped convict?" Remus suggested mildly.

"I fail to see your point," Sirius said.

"Well, you never were that bright," Remus said peaceably.

"I beg your pardon," Sirius said.

"Consider it begged," Remus said, and poked him in the nose.

"Shouldn't they have cleared me by now?" Sirius asked. "And nobody else cares that you're a werewolf."

Remus gave him a withering glare in response to the second statement.

"Okay, Dumbledore doesn't care, and most of the students could put up with it too," Sirius said. "I don't think that they really care that much."

"Except the Slytherins," Remus said gloomily. He was actually not that upset, but he had noticed that an excellent way to keep Sirius from dwelling on his problems was to come up with some of his own.

"Yeah, but Slytherins as a general rule tend to be slimy little gits. They don't like anyone that's not one of them."

"Oh, well," Remus said. "I just don't like the thought of living that close to the Forbidden Forest . . . and in any case, Harry only has two more years here. We should find somewhere better than a cottage here."

"Well, I was kind of thinking of it because it's the only place other than the Dursleys in which he's safe," Sirius pointed out.

"True," Remus said.

"You don't have to worry about them," Sirius said, assuming that Remus didn't want to be near the werewolves in the forest. "I'll defend you."

Remus gave him a thin smile. "Thanks."

"See if I don't," Sirius said.

"I believe you," Remus said, with a more genuine smile.

****

Sirius had been staring longingly out the window for most of the day since Harry had left. Although Remus had been busy at first, trying to keep the room tidy (quite a chore, given that they hadn't been bothering and that was one thing the Room of Requirement did not take care of), he now landed eyes on Sirius' wistful expression.

"Would you like to go out for a while?" he asked, already knowing what the answer would be. "I think it would be safe enough if we used the Invisibility Cloak to get a ways away from the castle."

Sirius gave Remus an enraptured look. "I would love to. I've honestly forgotten what fresh air feels like."

Remus couldn't help but laugh. "That's what I thought you'd say. All right, but you can't move around too much . . . you're still weak."

"Bugger that," Sirius said with a sneer, obviously displeased at the thought of his own weakness.

Remus' laugh faded to a slight smile. "Sirius, dearling, if you wear yourself out, not only will you wind up in bed even longer, but Madame Pomfrey will have your head. And quite possibly mine."

"Do you think that would do me in?" Sirius asked, a note of honest curiosity in his voice. "I wonder what it would be like this time around." He thought about this for a moment, then shook himself, rubbing at his chest. He had a vague and fleeting sense of vertigo.

"You are not going to die again," Remus said. His voice was soft, but firm, as if there was absolutely no question about this fact.

"I don't want to," Sirius said, then added in a tone of complete honesty, "but sometimes it feels like I should."

"I know." Remus sighed. He had been trying to avoid thinking about being pulled towards the veil, and he knew that the pull had to be much, much worse for Sirius than it did for him. "I suppose it always will for both of us . . . I wish I could change that."

Sirius shrugged and said philosophically, "If all I have to put up with is a tugging on my soul, I'll deal."

There was a brief pause. Remus walked over and settled on the edge of the bed, smoothing Sirius' hair with one hand. "I really am glad to hear you say that, you know . . ."

"I'm not sorry you came to get me," Sirius said quietly, leaning against Remus' shoulder. "I love you and Harry. I just hope he can put up with that fact that I get so weird towards him."

Remus laughed weakly. "Believe me, we're both so glad to have you back that we won't be complaining about anything having to do with it. Ever." He put his arms around Sirius and hugged him tightly, unable to speak further.

Sirius hugged back. "I wasn't ready to die. I haven't really had a chance to live."

"I just missed you so much . . ." Remus choked out, and wondered why now of all times, six weeks after Sirius' death and then another after his resurrection, he was finally getting upset about what had happened.

"I'm back now," Sirius said softly, holding him close. "You don't need to worry anymore." All Remus could manage was to cling to him and try desperately to not start crying, but there didn't seem to be any way to hold the tears back; he'd been holding them inside for far too long. Sirius just rocked him back and forth, trying to calm him, murmuring soothing words in his ear.

"Sorry," Remus managed a few minutes later, when the worst of it was over and he was only sniffling. "I didn't mean to go all weepy on you, I just . . . I had to hold it all inside, and . . ."

"And why is that?" Sirius asked, slightly curious.

Remus swallowed hard, trying to regain his composure. "I just . . . there was so much to be done, I didn't have time . . . so I shoved it all away and tried not to think about it, tried to pretend that it hadn't happened . . . and when I finally got around to facing it, I had to be strong for Harry's sake . . ."

"And knowing the two of you, he most likely felt the same," Sirius said dryly.

Remus managed a wan smile. "Yes, I suppose so . . . but then once we did this, I just . . . I was so worried about having done the wrong thing . . ."

"You always did worry too much," Sirius stated, thumbing the tears off Remus' cheeks.

"I know," Remus said.

"Feeling a bit better?" Sirius asked, well aware of Remus' tendency to feel better after he stopped bottling things up.

Remus tried to get hold on his sniffling. "Yeah . . . I guess. I mean, I wasn't feeling bad anyway . . . not now that you're back. It just finally hit me that . . . that I almost lost you. I did lose you."

"You only misplaced me for a little while," Sirius said, trying to lighten the mood.

Unfortunately, Remus was rather difficult to lighten once he took it into his head to seriously mope. "Without you . . . I don't have anyone," he said, wiping his eyes and steadfastly looking away.

"Quite untrue," Sirius said, giving him a tight hug. "You have Harry and you have friends."

"I guess," Remus agreed reluctantly, "but I don't have anyone who loves me and understands me the way you do."

"Well, the workings of your mind are a bit convoluted," Sirius teased gently, kissing the top of Remus' head. "It's always been something of an even trade. I understand you and you hold my leash. Which is a thankless but much needed effort."

Remus shrugged and finally smiled, snuggling closer. "It's not thankless . . . if it was thankless, you wouldn't love me. That's all the thanks I need."

"It's not all you need," Sirius said, rather indignantly. He ran a hand down Remus' side. "I can count your ribs, man."

"I eat," Remus said, bordering on indignation himself. There was a brief pause while Sirius gave him an incredulous look. "Oh . . . I forgot all about that," he said, changing the subject. "I sort of spent a large chunk of the money you left me . . . about two thirds, I suppose. Most of it was on the potion to bring you back."

"You don't eat enough and I'll consider it money well spent."

"I eat plenty. I'm just a thin person by nature." The tone of indignation faded and he sighed. "Besides, how could you honestly expect me to eat after you died? I didn't even want to live."

Sirius gently tipped Remus' face and kissed him lightly. "No more silly death wishes."

"It wasn't silly. It made perfect sense."

"You're supposed to live forever," Sirius informed him.

Remus thought this over. "Only if you do."

"I'll give it a go," Sirius promised.

Remus shook himself slightly. "All right, I was supposed to be taking you outside, not crying on your shoulder. Sorry."

"We have enough time for both," Sirius reminded him. "Nearly an entire lifetime."

"Then let's go," Remus said, then added, "but remember that you have to take it easy."

Sirius gave him another hug. "I'll even let you set the walking pace."

****

Harry sent Hedwig to go find Hermione, asking her if she could think of a way that both he and Ron could come visit so they could talk about something important. To his surprise, Ron and Hermione both showed up the next day in a plain old car driven by Hermione's mother.

"Uh?" Harry asked. He had been lying in the garden again, more out of apathy and the desire to stay out of Vernon's way than anything else.

"Why are you lying in the hedgerow?" Hermione asked tartly.

"It's comfortable," Harry told her.

"Is that why there are twigs sticking into your back?" she asked.

"Never mind," Harry said. "Er . . . good to see both of you. Thank you for driving them, Mrs. Granger."

"No trouble at all," Hermione's mother said. "Although I did have a terribly interesting time trying to find Ron's house . . . it's really out in the middle of nowhere, isn't it?"

"We like it that way," Ron told her.

Hermione turned to her mother. "Will you come pick us up in a few hours?" she asked.

"Of course, dear." Hermione's mother went back to the car and drove away. Harry was still gaping, surprised at the fact that Hermione had a) convinced her mother to do this and b) had been able to find the Burrow at all.

"Well, don't just lie there," Ron said. "What's the big news that you wanted to tell us?"

"Come on up to my room," Harry said. As much as he didn't really want either of them to see his room, pathetic as it was, he also figured it would be much safer than talking about it outside. He pushed into the house. "Aunt Petunia, I've got friends over," he called nonchalantly, and ignored her shrieks of 'WHAT?!' as he hurried Ron and Hermione up to his room.

"Well, this is cozy, isn't it," Ron said, plopping onto Harry's bed. "I've never seen a room with so much stuff in it."

"It's not mine," Harry replied. "It all belongs to Dudley, except what's in the trunk."

Hermione glanced around. "Does he break everything he touches?"

"Mostly," Harry said, and realized that he was grinning. He hadn't thought about how happy he would be to see them.

"You're looking better, mate," Ron said approvingly. "I expected you to still all be gloomy and mopey . . . not that you wouldn't have a right to be," he added hastily, as Hermione gave him a dirty look. "You just aren't, that's all."

Hermione sat down primly on the trunk. "Is that part of your big news?" she asked.

He blinked at her. "Is what part of my big news?" he asked hesitantly.

"Whatever's caused your emotional turnaround," she replied.

"Ah. Yes."

"Well, spit it out," Hermione told him.

He motioned them both closer, leaning in so he could speak in a low voice. He was fairly sure that nobody and nothing in the house had ears to hear him other than his relatives, but he wanted to be safe just in case. "I went to stay with Professor Lupin last week . . ."

"Yeah, and?" Ron asked, annoyed with the way that Harry was dragging out his news.

Harry's voice dropped to a whisper. "We found a way to bring Sirius back."

Hermione squeaked. Ron choked.

Harry looked immensely pleased with himself.

"Go on, pull the other one," Hermione said.

"Yeah, Harry," Ron said, giving him a close look. "You're not . . . you know, delusional or anything, are you?"

Harry looked at them disgustedly. "Would I joke about something like this?"

"Well, no," Ron said. "But you were awfully upset . . ."

"Damn it, I'm not delusional!" Harry protested, his voice rising.

Hermione bit back a smile. "Well, you'd better give us the rest of the story," she said.

Still in a low voice, Harry related the tale of how he and Remus had come up with the idea to get Sirius back and their few days at the castle. He left out some of Sirius' more extreme behavior and only mentioning the twins in passing, hoping that Ron wouldn't get annoyed about it.

"It didn't even occur to me that you could do that," Hermione said. She had that gleam in her eye which meant there was about to be a research binge.

"Me neither," Harry said. "Remus thought of it, really. I just talked him into it."

"And Sirius is . . . all right?" Hermione asked. "Not like . . . night of the living dead?"

Harry coughed. "Well, he's not all right, but he's not a zombie either."

"Oh, good," Hermione said.

"You're not going to lecture him on how dangerous it was?" Ron asked, looking like he might sulk. "You always lecture me when I do something stupid and dangerous. Like leave the tower."

Hermione grabbed Ron by the shoulders. "He brought Sirius back! And you want me to yell at him!"

Ron blinked in confusion as Hermione shook him, then let go, looking disgusted. "Girls," Ron muttered underneath his breath.

Hermione glomped onto Harry. "That's wonderful!"

"I know," Harry said, grinning.

"Really," Ron said. "When can we see him?"

"In a few weeks, I get out of here for the summer," Harry said. "Dumbledore's going to talk to your mum about my staying with you," he added, nodding at Ron. "Then we can make a day trip and see Sirius and Remus. For now they're going to stay at the castle . . . Remus is making sure that Sirius is okay."

"When did you start calling him by his first name?" Ron asked curiously.

"Shortly after we raised Sirius from the dead," Harry said nonchalantly. "It's sort of a bonding experience." He didn't mention that it would be rather strange to keep calling him Professor Lupin since Sirius had declared that they were a family. It was also sort of strange after finding out exactly what Remus and Sirius were to each other, but he didn't figure that was Ron and Hermione's business.

"So who else knows that he's back?" Hermione asked. "Is he going to be moving back into the Order?"

Harry shook his head. "He shouldn't ever have to go back to that house," he said, sounding a bit more fierce than he meant to. He saw their taken aback looks and sighed. "Sorry. I'm just . . . still upset about that, I guess. Anyway, Dumbledore knows, obviously. So do McGonagall and Madame Pomfrey . . . the twins . . . and now you two. That's it. No one else is supposed to know. Oh, and Dobby."

"Dobby?" Ron asked. "That psychotic house-elf who's in love with you?"

"You can't really call any house-elf psychotic after Kreacher," Harry pointed out, choosing to defuse Ron so Hermione wouldn't have to. She was swelling up and had the 'don't treat house-elves as lesser beings' glare on her face. "Anyway, yes, that Dobby. He was bringing us food and stuff, so no one else would know we were there."

"Oh," Ron said. "Well, that's okay then."

Harry snorted. "Anyway, that's all I had to tell you . . . you want to see my lovely neighborhood?"

"Sure," Hermione said.

"Why not," Ron agreed.

"You can tell your dad all about it," Harry said. "We can go buy him a rubber duck."

****

Snape had enough sense to let Remus seek him out for the potion, rather than coming to the Room of Requirement to give it to him directly. He even let Remus have it with minimal sneering, although it took great effort on his part to curb the instinct.

"Sirius?" Remus asked, walking over and sitting on the edge of the bed. Sirius was thankfully not staring out into space as usual; Remus had given him a book before he left to find Snape, and he was reading. He glanced up as Remus sat down. "I have something for you," Remus said, hoping to pass the potion off as a good thing.

Sirius smiled slightly. "What is it?"

"A potion," Remus said. "And some tea." He hoped against hope that Sirius would drink it without asking too many questions, like who had made it.

No such luck. "What is it? Let me see it."

"It's to keep you from sleepwalking and doing untowards things," Remus said, offering the small flask to Sirius. Snape had been very specific about giving him one capful in a mug of tea every night before he went to bed. Sirius popped the flask open and sniffed it, wrinkling his nose.

"Let me guess," he said dryly. "The slimy git made it."

Remus just nodded.

"Why do you look so guilty?" Sirius asked.

"I don't know," Remus said. "Because I wasn't going to tell you that Snape had made it, I suppose."

"It was just common sense," Sirius said. "I still have some of that. I hate him and he's a toad, but he's a good Potionsmaster. And he won't poison me. Dumbledore would be really upset."

Remus rolled his eyes. "Dumbledore wouldn't be the only one."

"Well, yes, but I think Snape is more inclined to want to stay in Dumbledore's good graces than yours," Sirius said, slightly amused.

Remus just sighed. "Anyway, a dose of that every night should keep you from being pulled towards the veil so badly, or at least that's what he said."

"Did you get any for yourself?" Sirius asked firmly.

"Yes," Remus said with a sigh.

"Why are you allowed to look out for my good welfare, but I'm not allowed to look out for yours?"

There was a slight pause. Remus' lips twitched in a smile. "I never said you weren't," he countered.

"Yes, but you always do that sigh," Sirius said.

"I wasn't sighing because you had asked if I had gotten any of the potion for myself," Remus said. "Don't be silly. Go back to reading your book and then I'll take you outside for a while."

Sirius was not to be distracted. "Then why were you sighing?"

"I believe the phrase you used is 'slimy git.'"

"Did he say something nasty to you?" Sirius asked.

Remus smiled dryly. "Nothing uncalled for. I couldn't afford what the potions would have normally cost, and he made a great deal out of giving them to me for cheap, so I wouldn't have to scrimp and save for them. He's still annoyed that Dumbledore made him make the Wolfsbane Potion for me for a year, for no charge."

"Then next time, tell him we'll pay full price for it," Sirius said.

"Why? So he can sneer and say he's glad I've finally found someone who can support me since I can't get my own income? No, thank you. I'll let him continue to degrade me subtly, rather than invite it outright."

"Well, you could have a job, you know," Sirius said. "They're sorely lacking in a Defense teacher."

Remus cleared his throat. "Actually, through the employment laws passed in the Ministry, I can't have that job anymore. No werewolf is allowed to have a job involving children, remember? It doesn't matter if it's Hogwarts. The law still applies."

"Oh, we could get around that," Sirius said off-handedly. "You could volunteer. It's not actually a job."

Remus frowned. "I'm sure they'd pass a law fairly quickly, if there isn't already one in place. In any case, all the parents would complain, and I won't do it anyway. I can't chance hurting one of the children."

"Only some of the Slytherins would complain," Sirius said. "And you wouldn't hurt any of the children. You haven't before, and you won't."

"Can we not talk about this?" Remus asked, his voice strained.

"Oh, fine," Sirius said. In his opinion, one of Remus' biggest problems was that he didn't give himself enough credit.

Remus took the flask back and paced over to the other side of the room, setting it down next to the tea pot, where they would be sure to remember to take it before bedtime. "Let me know when you want to go outside," he said, sitting in one of the chairs and looking despondently out the window.

"You're all mopey," Sirius said.

"It happens," Remus said.

Sirius got out of bed and was pleased to note that he could do so on his own, without much unsteadiness. He made his way over to Remus and hugged him from behind. "It happens far too often," he said.

Remus tried to smile. "Sorry."

"It wasn't particularly something you need to apologize for," Sirius said.

"I know," Remus said with a shrug. "I just feel like I should. Everything's changed so much . . . you have, but you had reason. I just sat around. I was quiet in school . . . but I was never like this. I feel sort of bad."

Sirius leaned over and kissed the top of his head. "You had cause."

"That doesn't really help."

"Well, why do you feel bad?" Sirius asked him.

"Because . . . because so much has changed, and I'm really not who I was anymore, and . . . and I haven't really a clue why you still love me at all," Remus said quietly.

"You're not who you used to be," Sirius agreed, "but you're still Remus. And that's the important part. Nobody stays the same forever."

"I suppose not," Remus replied, with a slight shrug.

"None of that sunk in, did it," Sirius said suspiciously.

"It sank," Remus said, smiling.

"Like a lead balloon," Sirius replied.

"Maybe it'll make me feel better later," Remus said. "For now, I think I'll continue to mope privately. Would you like to go outside for a while? It's a nice day."

Sirius hesitated for a long moment, trying to decide between pursuing the topic and letting it drop. He finally decided to let it go for now and hoped to distract Remus so he would have a good time despite himself. "Yes," he said. "Maybe we should make a picnic of it."

Remus smiled. "All right."

****