an: Alright, two chapters in one day!!! Whoo-hoo! I don't think I've ever uploaded this fast before, but what can I say, the inspiration flows. Anyway, some notes…

I already got five reviews for my last chapter. Well, not really for the last chapter, but five more reviews is good. =D I forgot to mention that Hope's middle name, Akira, means "anchor" in Japanese. I'll get into that a little more next chapter.

crestofhope4salvation: Why Ireland? The claddaugh ring, of course. That was the whole reason for the chapter, T.K. giving Kari the ring. And since I wanted to let you guys know exactly where it comes from, I incorporated that part into my story. I'm really glad you appreciate it. I did my research for that chapter. =D

Okay, this is titled Epilogue One for a reason. It's not the epilogue of the whole story, just the book. This is the last chapter of the actual book, next chapter (and any chapters after that, if there are any) will be following the "Together Again" storyline. I'm not sure if there will be two more chapters or not, but I'm thinking there will be just one—the wedding. YAY! Hehe. I am also thinking of writing yet another sequel, but it will be just a one-shot based on a scene in this chapter. (See if you can guess what it is!)

You know the Santa Monica Pier I'm always writing about? I actually got to see it last weekend. It's so cool! I went on the rollercoaster and the Ferris wheel, too. I'm planning on going again sometime soon.

And you know they're not mine, except Aaron and Hope.

One more thing – the songs used in this chapter:

*Lullabye (Goodnight, My Angel) – Billy Joel (I almost cried when writing this scene! You'll know when it is when you see it—I'm not gonna spoil it for you)

*A Thousand Miles – Vanessa Carlton (It's my favorite song, but it fit perfectly for the part I wrote it in, yay!)

Okay, now read. And review!!! Please?

*

One Light, One Hope

Chapter Thirteen/Epilogue One: Aftermath

            After the loss of our baby, things were never quite the same with Kari and me. She felt really guilty about it, and even though I kept reassuring her there was nothing she could have done about it, I think she felt that I blamed her because she worked too hard, against my warnings. I didn't… although, looking back at it now, somewhere in my subconscious, I think I did, but I repressed it so much that consciously I didn't even think about it.

            Aaron and Hope were happy that their mother was okay, but it was hard to tell them that they wouldn't have the sibling they were looking forward to. Hope took it especially hard, the sparkle in her eye long gone for a while. But she bounced back, like she always does, and soon she was back to her normal self, happy that she still had Aaron.

            It was around this time that Kari and I both threw ourselves into our work, trying to drown the pain that came with losing a child. I often got upset with her for working to hard, citing that it helped bring about her miscarriage, which only affirmed her fears, and then she'd yell back at me that I was working just as hard as she was, and this and that. Soon it went down to little things like dinner, taking care of the kids, simple things like that. After our fights I'd sit on the couch and ponder, think back to my memories when I was about Aaron's age and my parents fought just like this. I shook my head. I didn't want to be like my father. I didn't want to leave my children, separate them, and have life hard like that. But at the same time I didn't want to bring my children up in a home where the parents were bickering all the time. It wasn't healthy.

            Our fights became more and more drastic, and there would be periods where the only time we'd talk was when we were dealing with Aaron and Hope. They could tell that there was tension between their parents and they always hid in either his or her room, but always together. I tried to reason with Kari to stop these childish games for the sake of the kids, but she never listened to me. The only real happy time during this period was Aaron's and Hope's sixth and fourth birthdays. We managed to pull ourselves together for their sake. After that, though, the fighting just got worse. Finally, I got fed up and started yelling at her.

            "Hikari Takaishi! What is wrong with you? I understand that you're mad at me for some things that I said and things that I did, and I'm sorry, but will you just let it go? Let it go not for me, but for your children. I don't want to live like this anymore."

            "Then go and find yourself a job!" she yelled back.

            "So this is what it's about, then? Me not having a job? Or you thinking that I don't have a job? If you haven't noticed, Kari, I do my share around here too, including gathering income. But of course, since I don't go out early and stay out late like you, then my job has no value, right? At least I'm here taking care of my children!"

            "It's not that, T.K., but—"

            "Yes it is!" I interrupted her. "That's all it's about. The job. The career. The high-end office and the near six-figure income! Come on, Kari, I know it, you know it… your job is more important to you than your own family that you claim is the reason why you're not here!"

            "Fine! So what if it is?" Kari protested, crossing her arms across her chest. "Maybe I do like my job too much to sometimes forget about you guys. Is it really my fault though?"

            "You know the answer to that, Kari," I said in a dangerously low tone. So she finally admitted it. I shook my head. "If you're going to continue to be like that, Hikari, then I don't want to live with you anymore. It shouldn't matter, because I practically don't, anyway."

            A look of pure hurt crossed her face, and immediately, I regretted it, but it was too late to take the words back. She stormed past me and into our room, and I followed. "Kari, I'm sorry—"

            I was cut off by a flying object whizzing past me. It was Kari's brush. It hit the wall with a thud and fell to the floor. "Kari—"

            "You know what, Takeru?" she said, in a frighteningly high pitch voice. "If you don't want to live here anymore, fine. I don't want to live with you either." She followed this with another flying object. "Now do you want to move out or should I?"
            "Kari, I wasn't thinking—"

            "Sure you were!" The toothbrush just narrowly missed my left ear. "That's what you've been feeling this whole time. If you're not happy here, then leave."

            I strengthened my resolve. "Okay."

            Kari stopped for a minute to look absolutely shocked, then proceeded to throw things double time. Kari was never really overly athletic, but two things did manage to hit me: her engagement ring, and the curling iron. Sadly, I picked up the ring and gazed at it, remembering the time I gave it to her, and then proceeded to pick up the phone and call Tai. He knew a few good lawyers, and we certainly needed one.

            Soon—too soon—divorce papers were mailed to our apartment. Kari and I sat down the kids and explained to them, trying to make them understand that we loved them both with all our hearts, that we were getting a divorce. We had sat down and talked about it, and thought it not fair that one parent should get two kids. So we decided on who got whom—I got Hope, and Kari got Aaron. "Your dad and Hope are going to be moving out soon," she explained to them. Hope and Aaron looked at each other, heartbroken. "You can't take her away from me, Daddy," Aaron pleaded. Hope just nodded, and my heart broke. "I'm sorry, Aaron… but I figured, if I can't have both of you, that we should share and I could have just one of you. I'm sorry it didn't work out."

            "Why not?" Hope asked, innocently, the prospect of losing her big brother tearing her eyes up.

            "It's just… Mommy and I don't get along anymore, as you have noticed. We decided we can't live together anymore. But we still love you, so very much. Know that you were never the cause of why we can't get along anymore," I explained, tenderly, to my kids. I looked at Aaron. My firstborn. I was going to miss my son so much. I wasn't going to be able to see his games at school, winning his first match, getting his first crush… I sighed to myself and wanted to just try and work it out with Kari. But I knew her job would always come first, and even I, her husband of six years, her love for eleven, couldn't compete with that.

            The night before Hope and I were scheduled to go, I tucked Aaron into bed. "Tell me another story, Daddy," he pleaded, not wanting me to go.

            "Okay, but this is your last one." I ruffled his unruly hair—just like mine—and said, "Once upon a time, there was a little boy. His parents were happy, until the boy was about six. Then they started fighting a lot and then they separated, his father taking his older brother and his mother taking the boy. They lived in the same city, so they saw each other a lot. But the boy missed his dad, and his brother, all the same.

            "The boy started playing basketball and got really good. Soon he was in school, making new friends and playing basketball. He also wrote some stories. He still missed the other half of his family, but with the help of his friends and his hobbies, he was okay. He wasn't as happy as he could be, but he was still happy."

            "Who was that boy?" Aaron asked me. "His story sounds like mine, except that he's happy."

            "That was my story," I told Aaron. "My parents divorced when I was six. It was hard, but I survived. And you will, too. You're strong."

            "But I'll miss you, Daddy," Aaron said, tears threatening to fall.

            "I know, big guy. I'll miss you too. I'm really sorry that things have to be this way." I kissed him on his forehead.

            "Daddy?"

            "Yes, Aaron?"

            "Can you stay with me until I fall asleep?"

            I smiled. "Of course."

            Aaron was trying to fight sleep off, to stay with me more, but in the end sleep overtook him and he fell into a deep slumber. Before I left, I watched him intently and whispered, "I love you, Aaron," and painfully left. I was going to go say goodnight to Hope when I heard a voice singing—a soft and sad voice.

(Goodnight, my angel,

time to close your eyes

and save these questions for another day

I think I know what you've been asking me

I think you know what I've been trying to say

I promised I would never leave you

And you should always know

Wherever you may go

No matter where you are

I never will be far away

            The song sounded vaguely familiar, but now it sounded bittersweet as I realized this was Kari's goodbye to her daughter. I leaned against the wall, listening to Kari sing Hope to sleep, the sadness flowing in my heart, like I was sure the tears were flowing down my soon to be ex-wife's face.

Goodnight, my angel

Now it's time to sleep

And still so many things I want to say

And like a boat out on the ocean

I'm rocking you to sleep

The water's dark and deep

inside this ancient heart

You'll always be a part of me

Goodnight, my angel

Now it's time to dream

And dream how wonderful your life will be

Someday your child may cry

And if you sing this lullabye

Then in your heart

There will always be a part of me

Someday we'll all be gone

But lullabyes go on and on...

They never die

That's how you and I will be)

            "Good night, my precious daughter, Hope Akira. I love you so very much. Remember that you'll always be in my heart, no matter what." Kari's voice was choked with emotion. "Take care of your daddy for me. Once you're old enough to understand, tell him I'll always love him."

            That did it for me. I had to get out of proximity of Kari before I broke down. I rushed to the sofa, where my makeshift bed was waiting, and sat there, pretending to be occupied, until I was sure Kari was in the room. I then padded down the hall to Hope's room and kissed her sleeping form. "Good night, Hope. Sleep well—we have a long day ahead of us tomorrow."

            The next day, Kari helped me move the stuff I was taking into the living room and down the elevator, where a moving truck was waiting in the garage. Finally, after many laborious trips, everything was ready to go. Hope was sniffling in the corner, holding on to her brother for dear life. I smiled sadly at them and then turned to the table, on which was the last detail I had to clear up—the divorce papers. It said I had sole custody of Hope, while Kari had sole custody of Aaron, and what not… we didn't need to send child support to each other… and we basically cited "irreconcilable differences." It hurt me so much to see that. But I had realized that I was working almost to the point of negligence also, so I knew that part of it was my fault. Picking up the pen as if it was as heavy as my heart, I looked over the papers and penned my signature everywhere I had to. When I had signed the last line, I exhaled and looked over at Kari. "There. It's… it's done." Those were the hardest words I'd ever had to say in my life.

            Kari looked at me, the pain evident in her eyes too, and sighed. "I'm sorry, T.K. I'm sorry it had to end up like this."

            "So am I, Light." That was the last time in twelve years that I would use my special name for her. Slowly, I slipped off my wedding ring and handed it to her. "Here. Keep it."

            "I couldn't possibly take that," Kari said, softly. "I won't."

            I nodded. "Fine." I slipped it into my pocket, then turned to Aaron and Hope, who were now crying. I picked Aaron up and threw him in the air like he always loved to be thrown. He laughed happily, as always, but his eyes didn't have the sparkle they usually had. "Aaron, I love you. Don't ever forget that, okay?"

            He nodded. "Okay, Daddy." Then he hugged my legs tightly, so I picked him up so he could hug me properly. "I'll miss you, Daddy. Take care of Hope, okay?"

            "I will. Promise." I let him down and he ran to Hope, giving her a huge hug. "Don't forget me, Hope."

            Hope shook her head no. "I won't." Then she proceeded to go to her mother. "Mommy, be happy, okay? I'll miss you."

            Kari was crying openly now. "Hope, I'll miss you so much. I love you." She gave her daughter one last kiss on the forehead. Then, Kari and I turned to each other. Before I knew it, my arms were around her, holding her tightly. She was (and still is) the love of my life… and I was leaving her. "Hikari, I love you so much. I guess some things aren't meant to be, though."

             Not pulling away, but instead melting into my embrace, she looked up at me with tear-filled eyes and tear-stained cheeks. "Oh, Takeru… I love you, too. And I'm sorry."

            "I understand," I said, softly. "Take care of Aaron for me. Make sure he has all the father figures that he can have."

            Kari nodded. "Where are you going to stay?"

            "I'm moving to Santa Monica."

            She took a step back, as if she'd been physically hit. "All the way across the country?"

            I nodded. "My publisher asked me if I wanted to move there two years ago. I figured it'd be the perfect place to start over."

            "Okay. Just… make sure you take care of Hope, that if she gets sick in the middle of the night, to sing her to sleep. That always calms her down."

            "Alright." I checked my watch. "I have to go now."

            Kari nodded slowly, sadness evident everywhere. "Okay."

            I took Hope's hand and we walked out of the New York apartment for the last time, my heart screaming at me to go back, to embrace Kari, tell her it was all a mistake, that we could work it out… but in the end, my logic won, and soon, I, a twenty-four year old newly divorcé with a four year old daughter, was on my way to the airport, to a one-way flight to Southern California.

            The next time I saw Kari was twelve years later. In those twelve years, my daughter Hope had grown into a beautiful girl, still with the flair for the dramatic, but an even bigger flair for music. She loved to sing. She sang all the time, and soon, she got noticed for it. She was also very kind, loving, and generous to others, just like her mother was when she was Hope's age. It brought back bittersweet memories to see Kari's daughter just like her.

            There were times, like when we'd be at the pier and Hope fell ill, just like Kari used to when she was younger—bad immune systems—when I was forced to be reminded of Kari, and as I tended to my daughter, I always wondered if she ever thought of me when she looked at our son, and it brought a fresh wave of pain to me. I didn't want to live in the memories, but they were all I had, but if I continued to, I would go crazy, just missing Kari and sometimes, on the cold, lonely nights, when I felt so empty, I thought I would go so insane that I would do anything to just get back to where I was, even if I had to walk.

(It's always in times like these when I think of you

and I wonder if you ever think of me

'Cause everything's so wrong and I don't belong

living in your precious memory

'Cause I'll need you

and I'll miss you

and now I wonder…

If I could fall into the sky

Do you think time would pass me by?

'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles

if I could just see you tonight

And I, I don't want to let you know

I, I drown in your memory

I, I don't want to let this go

I, I don't…

Making my way downtown, walking fast,

Faces pass and I'm homebound

Staring blankly ahead, just making my way,

Making my way through the crowd

And I still need you

And I still miss you

And now I wonder…

If I could fall into the sky,

Do you think time would pass us by?

'Cause you know I'd walk a thousand miles

if I could just see you,

if I could just hold you… tonight)

            I ended up writing about my adventures in the Digital World, and they all became best-sellers. With this money, I bought a condo on the beachside in Santa Monica. Hope loved it there—the sunshine, the ocean, and the pier with the small amusement park. We'd go to the beach every summer, almost every day of every summer, and Hope would play happily in the water. She became a great swimmer as a result. She also learned how to boogieboard—she couldn't do the surfing because the surfboard was too heavy for her. Admittedly, she was a little spoiled, because I doted on her, but she wasn't bratty. Hope blossomed into an independent, well-adjusted, bubbly teenager, with her share of teenage angst, but what else is new? She would occasionally ask me about her mother, and I wanted to tell her about Kari—she remembered so little, because she was so young when Kari and I divorced—but it pained me too much that I couldn't. The only way I really was reminded of Kari, except the living reminder that was her daughter, was through the books that I wrote. Other than that, I tried to keep my head away from her. I just couldn't let go.

            I dabbled in dating once in a while, but no one really held a candle to the mother of my daughter. I don't know what it was. I think, subconsciously, I compared every girl I met to Kari, and so no one was ever good enough. However, fate gave me a second chance.

            It came about when Hope turned sixteen. I had sent her, over a two-week period in the summer, to a camp to hone her musical talent. When she came back, something about her was… different. She then came to me with the prospect of becoming a signed recording artist. However, the record company was in New York. I started to become a bit suspicious about this, but when I found out I had to go anyway, I took her along with me.

            In my good friend Davis's noodle shop in New York City, I not only met with my publisher, but one of Hope's friends—a boy who was about two years older than her, and had a striking resemblance to me when I was his age. He had messy, unruly brown hair and deep crystal blue eyes… and as I followed him home, for his mother was a talent scout for the biggest record company in the country, I realized that Hope had somehow discovered her brother, and I was meeting my ex-wife again.

            And so, we were reunited. It ended up that Hope had to stay in New York and Kari had to stay in Santa Monica, so we left our children in the Big Apple and I took my ex-wife home. In the few months that we got to ourselves, we bonded again. We went over the mistakes that we had made, realized what it was that we did wrong, and decided to give our relationship another try, for we had never fallen out of love with each other. And in the end… our love was so strong that I even attempted to give our marriage another try, with the same gold ring and pink stone that I had given to her seventeen years before, with the same hope that she would say yes, and the same light of love for her that radiated in my heart.