BENEATH THE OPERA HOUSE
(Paulette and Alfred are searching for the Phantom's treasure.)
Paulette: What did the Phantom look like?
Alfred: He was dressed all in black with a black leather cape.
Paulette: Like Batman?
Alfred: Hey, Master Bruce can do whatever he wants. Besides, we're supposed to be looking for the treasure.
(They get separated for a few moments and the Phantom grabs Alfred.)
Phantom: I understand you're here to steal my treasure.
Alfred: Please, please don't hurt me Mr. Phantom.
(The POTO phan somehow transforms back to their original state.)
Phantom: I'm not a phantom, I'm a rat.
Rabid POTO phan: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
(Only to combust again once the previous line is uttered.)
Phantom: MAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
(He unceremoniously tosses Alfred onto a stalagmite below.)
Paulette: Alfred! Alfred!
(She comes upon his impaled body and screams like a banshee, thus alerting the Phantom's attention.)
Paulette: You killed my boyfriend!
Phantom: Come now, let's not bicker and argue about who killed who. In fact, since the tragic death of your boyfriend...
Paulette (seeing Alfred move a little) He's not quite dead.
Phantom: Since the near fatal wounding of your boyfriend...
Paulette: He's getting better.
Phantom: For, since your own boyfriend... who, when he seemed about to recover, suddenly felt the icy hand of death upon him... (chokes Alfred until he stops moving)
Paulette: Oh, he's died.
(Paulette runs away to hide amongst the rocks, only to be caught and have her tongue bitten off anyway because she's a freak who screams with her tongue hanging out of her mouth.)
ROOFTOP
(The Phantom is looking at the stars when he starts to see visions. The first vision is of a flaming rat trap with naked people caught inside of it. His second vision is of a very scantily clad Christine. Scantily clad enough to put Bonnie Tassels to shame.)
THE STAGE
(Carlotta lost her voice, so Christine is practicing to possibly replace her in an upcoming performance. Both the Phantom and Raoul watch her sing.)
Christine (singing): Stiiiiiiil nooooot weaaaring a braaaaaa! Buuut yoooou caaaan't tell becaaaauuuseee I'm weeeeeaaaaaring blueeeee! I'm goiiiinng to faaaaiinnnnnt liike a druuunken muuule noooooow!
(She faints.)
CHRISTINE'S DRESSING ROOM
(Christine reawakens in her dressing room surrounded by people. Dr. Princard ushers everyone out and tells Christine to get some rest.)
Phantom (appearing out of nowhere): Surprise! Did you miss me?
Christine: Of course I did my furry little vagabond.
Phantom: Christine, I have something to tell you. I have a tail.
Christine: You mean you have a story?
(Just as he's about to reply, Raoul opens the door a little bit to see if anyone is inside. They both get silent. Once Raoul leaves, Christine exits into the hallway and the Phantom goes through the secret passageway. Raoul sneakily hurries into her dressing room and investigates.)
Raoul: You can come out now if you promise to behave. Christine. Christine. Oooh! Gone again!