THE BEST LITTLE WHOREHOUSE IN PARIS
(Jerome takes his brother Raoul to a brothel/ sex den where he smokes a hookah and hallucinates. Nearby, two men are arguing, fully clothed, in the swimming pool.)
Jerome: I think Billy and his boyfriend are playing water polo.
Raoul: Maybe they're playing Marco Polo. Marco!
Jerome: Polo! Man, that's a good game.
(They both go back to their whores, but Raoul begins to imagine that his is Christine.)
Raoul: Christine? Is that you Christine?
Whore: No darling, it's not Christine. I'm Rose, Rose Velvet Lips.
Raoul: Tonight you are my Christine.
(He kicks her and has a conniption fit. In the process, he flings his hair at his brother and starts to cry.)
BACKSTAGE
(The Swiss Chocolate pervert is forcing chocolate into the mouth of a young ballerina, Penelope. She runs downstairs.)
Swiss Chocolate Monger: Wait for me my little sugar plum. Wait! Wait for me! I don't want to hurt you, I just want your life.
(The Phantom attacks and the candy flies everywhere.)
Phantom: What the hell are you, a piñata?
(The pervert dies a bloody death and the Phantom allows Penelope to leave.)
RAT CATCHER'S HUMBLE ABODE
(Ignace works on the rat catcher mobile/ vacuum while his dwarvish friend runs around cutting off rat tails.)
Dwarf: At least I'm not a devil midget.
CHRISTINE'S DRESSING ROOM
Phantom's Disembodied Voice: Christine. Christine, come to me.
Christine: Yes master.
Phantom: And bring me a human sacrifice if you have time.
(She heads downstairs and a dramatic gust of wind greets her. Why it's windy underground no one knows, but she goes anyway.)
UNDERGROUND
(Ignace and The Dwarf ride around catching rats and laughing like idiots. The machine itself looks like something out of a B movie from the 80's.)
Ignace: Someone's in my fruit cellar.
Dwarf: Groovy
(The rat catcher mobile crashes. Ignace gets maimed and the Dwarf loses his head. Literally.)
Ignace: I knew I should have installed brakes.