Absolute Power Corrupts Absolutely
By Cypher
"That's when I woke up and searched out Shifu."
General Hammond looked at me, really looked, before shaking his head. "Alright. Thank you, Doctor Jackson. You're cleared to go home and get some rest."
"Thank you." I stand and head for the door, nodding slightly at the soldier standing right outside. I notice Jack and the others aren't there, but then again, I'm all better now, so what's there to worry about? Teal'c's probably Kel-no-reeming, Sam's busy with her reactors, and Jack...well, who knew what Jack O'Neill does in his spare time when he couldn't fish.
No, I take that back. He loves to annoy me in his spare time. Which begs the question, where is he and why isn't he bugging me? Not that I enjoy it, mind you, but...okay, I do like the attention, just a bit. Not that I'll ever admit that to him.
No, I can't admit a lot to him. My true feelings, what it felt like being dead, and now this: the dream Shifu gave me.
Shifu.
The son of my wife, my beautiful Sha're. He's one of Oma's followers, a being of energy with control over nature. She's taken care of him, of helping him find his path. She's also taught him how to deal with me. Just like on Kheb, the lesson was painful. Only this time, going through the Stargate won't help dampen the pain.
This time, I'm left with the knowledge of my darker side, and it scares me. Terrifies me, even.
I adjust my glasses and slide my card through the scanner by the elevator. I can't wait to get home, to be around the objects I cherish, books and artifacts and art. I should sleep, like Janet and General Hammond tell me to, but I know I won't be able to sleep. Not with the images haunting me.
Riding up the elevator, I lean against the wall and rub my face. My God, what a dream that was. Shifu had been utterly cruel in revealing the possibilities with the knowledge of the Harcisis. The worst part was, it wasn't him that was cruel, it was me.
Me. Peaceful, lovable, all around good-guy Daniel Jackson, was cruel. I'd laugh at myself except it's not funny. Just how far would I go to protect Earth? Would I really deceive my friends, incarcerate and, heaven forbid, kill them? All for the sake of wiping out the Goa'uld?
If Shifu's dream is any indication, I would.
Running a hand through my hair, I wave at the night guard just outside the facility and head for the car. I understand the lesson Shifu had to teach me. But...did he have to do it that way? I was always so sure I'd be the levelheaded one should we get the knowledge and ability to defend Earth. Now...now I'm not so sure.
Starting my car, I drive out of the lot, but instead of driving home, I just...drive. I don't know where I'm going, and fact is I don't care. I just need to think. Think about the dream, about me, and about...the darkness I harbor.
In the dream I had...flashes of being a Goa'uld Lord. Killing Apophis, blasting Jack into a wall, hell, even making Hammond my First Prime. That was from the genetic memory of the symbiote, I know, but at the same time...I know that those images are from me as well. I'd love to kill Apophis for the hell he's put us through, and sometimes Jack just...just frustrates me so much when he doesn't listen that I do want to hurt him. And Hammond, well, he can run things efficiently.
I enjoyed every bit of those dreams. Well, dreams within a dream. Or were they flashes? I don't know. Those were hardly the least disturbing images. I could still brush them off as symbiote memories. But my treatment of my friends...
I can't look past that.
Teal'c. I called him during Kel-no-reem to answer a question I already knew the answer to, and then I sent him to his death on some mission.
Sam. We worked side by side, and then one day I had her incarcerated because she thought I was going to take over the world, which, now that I think about, I was doing.
Jack. Oh God Jack. Not only did I just dump my best friend, but when he came to watch the launch and we went to that bunker...I just couldn't believe it. He tried to kill me, and I knew he would, and I didn't care because I knew I was unstoppable. I knew I was-
WOAH! Where'd THAT car come from. Pay attention, Daniel. You don't want to kill yourself in an accident. Maybe it'd be better if I pull over. Especially with the revelation I was about to have. What was it? Oh yeah. I knew I was...a God.
I physically shudder at that. A God. Did I really think I was a God?
Parking by a playground, I rest my arms on the steering wheel and stare into the sky. Did I really think I was a God? Yes, I did. I felt I was right and everyone else was wrong. I took command of things because I could. I...I wiped out Moscow. I decided that the death of thousands, innocents, was inconsequential to proving my point.
I was as bad as the Goa'uld I wanted to destroy.
And my friends...I sold them out for my own power-hungry ideals. I would've ruled Earth with an iron fist. Gone on the offensive to wipe out the Goa'uld no matter how many lives were lost. All in the name of peace.
I'm a monster.
Falling back into my seat, I close my eyes and just...sit there. It is better that I find out about this now before something like it actually happens. Shifu had to show me to take a different path, because the one I was on, the one I wished for, would've destroyed everything I love.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely. I always assumed the Goa'uld symbiotes were the corrupt ones. It's not just the symbiotes. Absolute power is what I had, and I became as bad as them, because as always, it corrupts. I thought I could fight it, I thought I would bring about world peace with my knowledge.
"Turns out I'm as human as the next person." Rubbing my eyes, I sigh. No, that's not true. I'm worse than a human. I'm a Goa'uld without the symbiote.
That's why no one can ever learn the truth about the dream. That lie I made up to General Hammond, to everyone, I know they don't buy it, but they know that what I went through was private, almost religious. Normally they wouldn't believe that, but this is Oma we're talking about here. Well, someone who studied under her...
I always knew I had a dark side. Every human does, right? I just never realized that I would unleash it upon my friends. The Goa'uld, and even the occasional military officer, yeah, but against Sam and Teal'c and Jack? I can never let that happen.
The problem is...how do I stop myself? Sure, I could probably detect hints of it, but I didn't even realize I was changing in the dream, and when someone pointed it out, I...eliminated them. Maybe I should tell one person the truth, and ask them to stop me, no matter what the cost. Between me becoming a heartless bastard and protecting Earth or just telling someone...It's a close call, but what I ended up doing was just as bad as if the Goa'uld invaded.
Now who to tell? Starting the car I pull out of the parking space and head home. I can't tell Teal'c. In the dream he was the first I got rid of. Sam, who's like a sister, would worry constantly about me, and probably question just how wise it'd be for me to try and acquire technology from other cultures. Besides, I had her locked up after she figured out I was taking over the world.
That leaves Jack. The one person I couldn't hurt. Even after he pulled that gun and fired at me, I couldn't hurt him. I didn't shoot him, I didn't tell my guards to kill him, all I did was comment on how easy it was for him to get through security with a gun. He knew he was defeated. But before then, before I created the bunker and the rings and the shield and everything, there were plenty of opportunities. Within a few days he tried to reason with me. He was worried because I wanted to 'kick some Goa'uld ass.'
If anyone should have to kill me to save Earth, it has to be him. And in all honesty, I want it to be him. I know he'll try every way to stop me before killing me, and I know that no matter what, he'll be able to keep his promise. He left me on Apophis' ship because he knew he had to for the good of the team and of Earth. He went on the Replicater infested submarine because he knew it was the only way to stop them. He'll do anything to protect his friends and Earth.
Even if it means killing me.
Parking my car, I get out and head for the stairs.
"Hey, not even a hi for your best friend?"
Pausing, I look back and see Jack standing by the steps. It looks like he's been waiting there for a while. He's brought beer and pizza, though it looks like he's gone through at least two bottles of beer. "Hi, Jack. What're you doing here?"
"I had a feeling you might want to talk about what really went on while you were asleep. Besides," he smirked and picked up the pizza, "we haven't spent much time together lately. How about we just hang out tonight. You and me, whadda say?"
I smile slightly. Jack O'Neill. He's always watching out for me, always there when I'm down.
There to try and stop me from becoming the worst ruler to ever be born on Earth.
"Actually, that sounds like a great idea." Pulling out my keys, I unlock the door to my building.
Absolute power corrupts absolutely. At least for now, I don't have to worry about it. And I thank Oma and any Godlike being out there for it.
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Author's Prattle: Well, I saw Absolute Power and I just had to write an introspective fic on it, even though I know there's a million of them out there. It's short, but I hope it conveys the torment of Daniel. And remember, Darkness is within all of us, and we must all face it, or we will be overtaken by its will. Okay, enough anime references. Heh. This is just a one-shot, I don't plan any sequels to it.
Disclaimer. I don't own Stargate SG-1. That belongs to SciFi, MGM, whoever owns that station. I'm just using the characters and settings in an exercise of creativity.
So...I hope you enjoyed, and as always, reviews are welcome.