After a few moments he stopped, lifting his head and wiping his eyes, face red, obviously ashamed of what he had done. I smiled sadly, I knew this was the first time he had cried about his family, and, like me, he had let out pain in other ways.

"God, Draco, I'm sorry." he apologized, looking into the fire, seeming to be waiting for something. "You know what I was going to say? It was like..what your dad did to you. Afterwards...I was I shock. Really, I didn't get up for two days. I couldn't get out of my room anyway, Vernon has locked me in..but I didn't want to get out, didn't want to escape. So that's why I started..." He trailed off and glanced at his wrists, and I knew what he meant. "I just wanted it to end."

I nodded. I knew exactly what that was like.

"You know how we saw each other in that hallway? At the end, there's a room. An unused classroom, full of spider webs and dust, an old lesson on the chalkboard...hasn't been used for at least twenty years. You know what I do there?"

I nodded again, pain filling my eyes and numbing my thoughts.

"I had to just get away from everyone!" he exclaimed with sudden energy. "I mean, I go to school, and everyone's talking to me, Hermione is nagging me about homework already...dammit, the school years just started!! It just pissed me off; I could never be at peace. Even in the fuckin' bathroom, someone was always there, asking how my summer went! God, can't they realize I just want to be left alone?"

He laughed nervously and looked at me. "Wow."

"What?"

"Talking. I should do that more often."

We laughed in unison. It felt good.

~ ~ ~

After that night, I noticed a change in Harry. Although he wasn't as friendly or as talkative as he used to be, he had definitely opened up more. He laughed occasionally at his friends jokes. He worked harder in school, telling me that he wanted his good grades to get a job in the Ministry and finally "get out of that fuckin' house." He had told me he had stopped cutting, and whenever something was bothering him, whenever he hurt, he would write me. We'd meet in the classroom at the end of the hall, and we'd just talk. Sometimes we didn't snog or anything. Baring our most intimate secrets was enough.

Everything was perfect. I knew it was too good to be true.

Harry had written a letter to me, asking again when we could meet. Since his owl had been killed, and it was late at night, he hadn't wanted to risk getting caught sending a school hour after curfew, he had borrowed Weasley's owl, a disgusting little bird named Pig. Pig had delivered the letter, nipped me a few times, and then taken my reply to the Gryffindor Common Room.

As Harry told me, he, Weasley, and the Mudblood, Granger, had been sitting around the fire, comparing Potions notes. Pig, the stupid owl that he was, had dropped my reply - in Ron's lap. Ron obviously thinks it's for him, how could he not, so he opens it. Reads it.

"I swear, Draco, his mouth dropped to the floor. He just stared at the letter, for practically a minute, and then I realized. Shit! It was your response! I tried to snatch it away, but Hermione grabbed it."

"She stares at me, obviously utterly stunned, not knowing what to say. And finally, she asks: 'Harry, this is a joke..right?'"

"I shook my head."

"Oh, God..Draco, I wanted to die then and there. Their looks of utter loathing as they grabbed their books and headed up to the dormitories...it was enough to make me suicidal again. I mean, besides you, I had no one in the world. No one."

He showed me a fresh scar on his arm. "It was horrible."

I really didn't have any words of comfort. I knew that one day our secret would be found out. One day we'd have to admit that we, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy, the worst possible enemies...were going out. Were in love.

"Well, Harry...we'd have had to tell everyone someday."

"I know..but why this way! Dammit, it's my entire fault. I'm sorry."