Lily: i decide to do a follow up. eh. I may give this a happy ending, or i may not...

One Day, It'll Be Me...

I pulled on my shirt and jerked the sleeves straight. I turned to look back at the other boy. He was still laying there, naked, on the floor where I had left him. He just stared up at me with his dark eyes. He looked so betrayed and mournful that I wanted to go back there and hold him, make him better.

But I didn't.

Because if I did, I would never be able to let him go.

It all started because I couldn't let him go.

He was my team mate, my comrade, my rival, my obstacle. At least, that was how it had started. I thought I hated him. I hated his open emotions, his diligence, his determination. He could express emotion. He could love people. I could not. Cold, hard Neji could never love anyone. But warm, bright Lee could express a rainbow of emotions at any given moment.

I wanted to be able to do that.

The fact that he was almost as good a fighter as me made it worse. Fighting... that was my specialty. I was good at it. People wanted me, needed me because of it. I was needed.

But then he came.

He took that away from me. He was happy. They could socialize and converse with him. He was a friend to them. They were afraid of me. I was merely a tool to them.

At first, I wanted him to know how it felt to alone, empty, unwanted. But soon those feelings were twisted and perverted. People needed him because he was strong and warm. I needed him for the same reasons. He was the one who took them away from me, took their love away from me and now, for some twisted reason that I have yet to understand, I wanted him to love me.

He became my obsession. There was so much I loved about him. I loved how thick his green hair was. I loved his dark, heavily lashed eyes. I loved how pale his skin was, making him look like some porcelain doll. I loved the pouty expression that he got when he was upset. I loved how he threw his whole being into the task at hand. I loved his smile and the surge of warmth that accompanied it.

I loved him, god damn it.

I wanted everything good thing about him to be mine and mine alone. I wanted all his love and warmth and brightness directed at me. He was my Lee and no one else could have him.

I remeber the first time I did it.

We were fighting again. He was panting, sweat trailing down his face. He grit his teeth and tried to stand. Oh, God. Seeing Lee like that, weak and beaten but still trying to fight. I wanted to break him. Make him mine. Take care of him. Make him happy.

I couldn't stop myself.

I pulled his shirt off, tearing it. He shouted at me about how he liked that shirt. I did too, he looked good in it. But he looked even better without it. He ran at me, still trying to attack. I knocked him over, forcing him to he ground. I came down on top of him and slid my fingers along the hem of his pants. He gasped and struggled but I held him down.

He lay on the ground, submissive, weak, mine.

I shuddered against his body. He was biting his lip, trying not to make a sound. I was hurting him. I didn't want that. I wanted the warm Lee. I wanted to make him happy.

I leaned towards his face and whispered into his ear. I love your green hair, the way it feels. I love your eyes, your pale skin. God, you feel so good, Lee. You taste so good, too. Ginger and white wine. Ginger and white wine. Ah, keep fighting. Never stop, Lee. I love it when you fight back. You give me something to conquer and control.

But I never said I loved him.

He whimpered and said my name.

Neji...

He made my name sound so sweet, moaned out like that.

When I was finished, I re-dressed myself and turned to leave. Before I left, I took one last look at him. He was where I had left him. His eyelashes were trembling with the tears that he was trying to suppress. Confusion and betrayl raged behind his eyes.

My Lee wasn't happy.

Would telling him I love him, givving him a reason why I id this make it better?

Would it make it worse?

Does he hate me?

Does he love me?

I don't know the answers to the questions that run through my head after every time but I do know that one day, I will make you happy.

One day, Rock Lee, one day...