Author: aomurasakiai
Warnings: AU, Angst, Sap, Shounen ai/Yaoi
Pairings: 2+1, 1+2, 2x1
Spoilers: None
Rating: PG-13
*Everything above may be
subject to change*
Fragile Faith: Chapter 13 – That Day…
Duo kissed Heero gently, pressing against the soft, smooth lips that he had felt the day before with his thumb. Duo brought his other hand up to caress the Japanese boy's cheek before pulling away. He had a small smile on his face but it quickly disappeared, replaced by worry when Heero turned away.
"Heero…"
"Why…? Why are you doing this to me?" he asked forlornly. Duo was about to call him again but it died in his throat when he saw tears glistening between the tightly clenched eyelids of the other teen. He also felt the death grip that Heero had on the plushie under his hands.
"What do you mean? I want… to…" To see the person sitting beside him in such pain made Duo feel completely helpless. He didn't know what he'd done wrong. He tried to pull Heero close into his embrace but Heero pushed away.
"It's your fault… for making me feel this way." The Japanese boy wrapped his wiry arms around himself, trembling slightly. Duo was becoming panicked. Something had happened to Heero and he was the cause of it. With him being there, it could… and probably *would* get worse. Duo moved away from the Japanese boy whose breathing was becoming harsher.
"Heero, I'm sorry. I don't know what it was I did to you but I'm sorry. I… I'll just go." He was about to get up when…
"NO!!"
Heero threw himself to Duo, clinging onto him tightly… fiercely. Duo didn't know how to react until he heard the heart broken sobs coming from the boy in his arms. With tears escaping from his own eyes he gently rubbed the other's back, whispering quietly to the Japanese boy. It seemed like hours before Heero calmed himself and when he did, he reluctantly extricated himself from Duo. Duo sat back as he watched Heero rub his hand over his puffy eyes and tearstained face.
"Heero…" Duo was shocked at how hoarse he sounded but he pushed on. "Obviously I did something that hurt you." He stopped when he saw Heero shake his head.
"Iya… Just that…" Heero closed his eyes against new tears. Duo watched at the boy sadly, wishing that there was something he could do. One thing did come to mind though… He propped up the pillow and moved to lean against it. Heero looked up, confusion evident in his moist eyes.
"Come here Heero." Duo reached out his hand but Heero looked away.
"Please… don't…" But Duo wouldn't hear of it. He leaned forward to grasp Heero's upper arm and pulled him onto his lap. Surprisingly Heero didn't struggle and even went as far as to straddle Duo, his legs tucked in beneath him. He laid his head against Duo's chest and the other teen knew that Heero needed this… now more than ever.
"Tell me?" Heero heard the quiet plea from Duo. He wrapped one of his arms around the American's waist and his other hand fisted the red tank top.
"Do you know the pain of living without a dream?" Heero began in a soft voice. "When I was very young, I was… neglected by my father and abused by my mother. She threw out all her anger on me… her hatred, her fear and her guilt, beating me with anything she could find; and my father?… My father… just… watched."
He took a deep breath before continuing.
"It went on for as long as I could remember. But… one day, they changed… they were really nice to me."
A small smile.
"My mother asked me what I wanted to do and my father reassured me that they were never going to be too busy to spend time with me… together. They cooked for me and asked me to help. In the end though we had to go to a restaurant to eat because they burnt everything. They took me everywhere and I really thought that we were starting to become a real family."
The smile faded.
"It was nearing night when they said they were going to take me on one last ride… I didn't know that they were being serious and meant it literally."
Tears started to fall.
"They drove me… far away from home. I was excited and kept asking where we were going. All they said was that it was a surprise. It had started to rain and they drove me to… a few of blocks from here. I was so naïve… so stupid… When they pulled up I ran out of the car in excitement, expecting them to follow like they'd always done before. Instead, I heard a car door slam and they just… drove off."
Duo's heart broke when he heard the sorrow in Heero's voice. He tightened his hold protectively around the shattered boy but didn't say anything since he wanted him to let everything out.
"I wandered around for hours. Somehow… I knew they weren't coming back. There were puddles everywhere… and in every puddle… all I could see was a reflection… my broken reflection. The raindrops… breaking the surface…"
Heero choked on a sob.
"Looking at it… it was then I realized that that was the most painful thing one could feel… The feeling that you are not wanted by anyone in this world. They thought that one day of kindness… paid off their guilt…"
Heero was trembling again and Duo just closed his eyes and bowed his head so it lay on top of the Japanese teen's soft hair while his fingered continued to gently stroke the boy's back.
"I didn't cry then. I couldn't. All I felt was anger… betrayal… hurt… pain… and then… nothing. Just nothing."
'You retreated to within yourself,' Duo thought.
"Then you came… and it was that day all over again…"
Duo's eyes snapped open in shock.
tbc…
Notes:
"Do you know the pain of living without a dream?"
"I realized that that was the most painful thing one could feel."
"The feeling that you are not needed by anyone in this world."
~~~Haku ("Naruto" Episode 17 fansubbed by ANBU-AonE)
Some of Heero's words were actually said by Haku. Episodes 16 to 19 of "Naruto" are incredibly tragic so I thought it'd be appropriate here. I'm not making claims to "Naruto"… it belongs to whoever owns it.
"But one day, she was really nice to me."
"That one day of kindness… paid off her guilt."
~~~"Petshop of Horrors" Volume 2 (pages 86-87).
I just changed them from singular to plural. I make no claim to Petshop of Horrors" since it's by Matsuri Akino and owned by TokyoPop and others.