ENTER EXTRA (onto black screen)
(EXTRA holds up SIGN reading "Act I Scene iii Which only lasts four pages!")
EXIT EXTRA
1 FADE IN 1
EXT-TENT-EVENING
NURSE and LADY TELUPAC are talking
LADY TELUPAC
Nurse! Where is Julie? (Scans crowd with disdain)
NURSE
Now by my virginity at 12 years old, I told her to come! (Calling) Juliiieeeee!
JULIE
What do you want?
NURSE
Your mothers calling you.
JULIE
(To Lady Telupac, suddenly a paragon of obediance) Madam I am here, what is your wish?
LADY TELUPAC
It's this, Nurse leave us a moment, we must talk in secret
EXIT NURSE closes door behind her
LADY TELUPAC
(goes to door and as she's opening it speaks) Wait Nurse, come back again! (NURSE falls in)
(NURSE coughs nervously)
LADY TELUPAC
Moving on, you know my daughter's of an attractive age
NURSE
Faith! I can tell her age to the hour!
LADY TELUPAC
She's not yet sixteen
NURSE
I'll bet sixteen of my teeth, though to my sorrow I've only 4, she's not sixteen. How far off is Lammas Day?
LADY TELUPAC
Two weeks and a few days
NURSE
Even or odd of all days of the year, on Lammas Day Eve she'll be sixteen.
(SINGERS burst from closet and begin singing "Eleanor" by the Turtles)
LADY TELUPAC
Enough of this foolishness! Out with the lot of you! (shoves SINGERS out of door, then turns back to JULIE) Now, as she was saying, how do you feel about marriage?
JULIE
No one was mentioning marriage..
LADY TELUPAC
(threateningly) Yes they were!
JULIE
Oh, right! Well, it is an honor I dream not about.
LADY TELUPAC
Well start thinking because Pari wants to marry you.
NURSE
Oh such a man! He's perfect!
LADY TELUPAC
Indeed, tonight at the party I want you to look him over, see how good he looks. You must be satisfied with his looks in order to marry. Now answer, how do you feel about Pari's devotion?
JULIE
I will look, and if that leads to liking, I suspect I will. But I won't do anything more than you want.
ENTER MAN
MAN
The guests are here, however the REAL Santana, Richard Nixon and Walt Disney couldn't make it, so we have their look a likes: Santena, Ricky Dixon, and Wally Disnie.
LADY TELUPAC
See if I vote for him in the next election! Come Julie, Pari is waiting.
MAN
She's going overseas?
LADY TELUPAC
Quiet peon!
NURSE
Go girl! Seek happy nights to happy days!
EXIT LADY TELUPAC & MAN
JULIE
(muttering) Why me?
2 FADE TO BLACK 2
(EXTRA holds up SIGN reading "Act I Scene iii Which only lasts four pages!")
EXIT EXTRA
1 FADE IN 1
EXT-TENT-EVENING
NURSE and LADY TELUPAC are talking
LADY TELUPAC
Nurse! Where is Julie? (Scans crowd with disdain)
NURSE
Now by my virginity at 12 years old, I told her to come! (Calling) Juliiieeeee!
JULIE
What do you want?
NURSE
Your mothers calling you.
JULIE
(To Lady Telupac, suddenly a paragon of obediance) Madam I am here, what is your wish?
LADY TELUPAC
It's this, Nurse leave us a moment, we must talk in secret
EXIT NURSE closes door behind her
LADY TELUPAC
(goes to door and as she's opening it speaks) Wait Nurse, come back again! (NURSE falls in)
(NURSE coughs nervously)
LADY TELUPAC
Moving on, you know my daughter's of an attractive age
NURSE
Faith! I can tell her age to the hour!
LADY TELUPAC
She's not yet sixteen
NURSE
I'll bet sixteen of my teeth, though to my sorrow I've only 4, she's not sixteen. How far off is Lammas Day?
LADY TELUPAC
Two weeks and a few days
NURSE
Even or odd of all days of the year, on Lammas Day Eve she'll be sixteen.
(SINGERS burst from closet and begin singing "Eleanor" by the Turtles)
LADY TELUPAC
Enough of this foolishness! Out with the lot of you! (shoves SINGERS out of door, then turns back to JULIE) Now, as she was saying, how do you feel about marriage?
JULIE
No one was mentioning marriage..
LADY TELUPAC
(threateningly) Yes they were!
JULIE
Oh, right! Well, it is an honor I dream not about.
LADY TELUPAC
Well start thinking because Pari wants to marry you.
NURSE
Oh such a man! He's perfect!
LADY TELUPAC
Indeed, tonight at the party I want you to look him over, see how good he looks. You must be satisfied with his looks in order to marry. Now answer, how do you feel about Pari's devotion?
JULIE
I will look, and if that leads to liking, I suspect I will. But I won't do anything more than you want.
ENTER MAN
MAN
The guests are here, however the REAL Santana, Richard Nixon and Walt Disney couldn't make it, so we have their look a likes: Santena, Ricky Dixon, and Wally Disnie.
LADY TELUPAC
See if I vote for him in the next election! Come Julie, Pari is waiting.
MAN
She's going overseas?
LADY TELUPAC
Quiet peon!
NURSE
Go girl! Seek happy nights to happy days!
EXIT LADY TELUPAC & MAN
JULIE
(muttering) Why me?
2 FADE TO BLACK 2