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Chapter 5

Rinoa Calls Squall

"Hello."

"Hello, Selphie?:

"No. It's Squall."

"Good. Because I was calling to tell Selphie I'm never speaking to her again."

"Rinoa, chill out. Chill out! You're shouting in my ear."

"Just tell her. Okay? Tell her, I'm never speaking to her again, and I'm never thinking about her again, and I'm never calling her again."

"I think I get the idea. Will you stop shouting? What's your problem?"

"Problem? What's my problem? Just that your sister got me into the most embarrassing, the most humiliating, the most unspeakable night of my life!"

"Rinoa, I'm sure there's some mistake. Selphie's your friend."

"Selphie was my friend. I can't believe it, Squall. I can't believe what she did to me! I'll never live it down. I'll carry the embarrassment to my grave."

"Rinoa, what--"

"I just gave myself an idea. Hold on. I'm going to jump out the window."

"What room are you in?"

"The den."

"The den is on the first floor."

"I know, but maybe I'll fall onto the rosebushes and bleed to death from the thorns."

"Rinoa, please. Just chill out. Tell me what happened."

"I might as well tell you. It'll be all over school tomorrow. How can I go to school? How can I ever face anyone again? Everyone will know what an idiot I am. I made a perfect fool of myself."

"No one's perfect. Ha-ha!"

"Shut up, Squall. Do you want to hear what Selphie did to me or not?"

"Sure. Tell me, Rinoa."

"She told me that Irvine Kinneas wanted to ask me out, but he was too shy."

"Irvine? Shy?"

"She said if I made up an excuse and went over to see him, he'd ask me out because he really wanted to."

"So you made up an excuse and went over there?"

"How'd you guess?"

"Rinoa--really."

"Save your sarcasm for the end, Squall. It gets a lot worse. Ack! Why am I telling you all this?"

"Because I'm just Selphie's brother Squall, and it doesn't matter what I think of you?"

"I guess. Anyway--"

"Thanks, pal."

"Oh, don't start a fight now. I can't take any more. Really. Just shut up and listen. I went over to Irvine's before practice tonight and pretended I was interviewing him for the school paper."

"The Bugle?"

"It's called The Bugle? I thought it was called The Beacon! Oh, no! Oh, wow--"

"Go on, Rinoa. Don't keep me in suspense."

"You'd better not enjoy this story, Squall. Or I'll never speak to you again, either."

"Could I have that in writing?"

"Stop it. Just shut up. I borrowed your cassette player from Selphie to make it look like I was getting the interview on tape."

"Get to the good part, Rinoa. Did he ask you out?"

"Oh, for sure. That's why I'm in such a great mood! Have you lost your brain? No, he didn't ask me out. He wasn't the least bit interested in me. He didn't know who I was. He didn't recognize me at all. Everything Selphie said was a lie."

"So what did you do?"

"What could I do? I was so embarrassed and nervous. I kept asking myself, "What am I doing here?" I had no choice. I had to go through with the interview."

"And?"

"And your stupid sister hadn't given me any tape. So there I was. I turned on the cassette player. I pushed Play and Record, and I tried to think of a question to ask him. Then he started to laugh. He laughed so hard, he fell off the couch. He couldn't breathe."

"Because he saw you didn't have a cassette in the recorder?"

" Yes. Hey, don't you start laughing."

"I'm not. So, go on. He laughed so hard he couldn't breathe. What did you do? Give him mouth-to-mouth?"

"Don't be a pig. Sometimes you're really disgusting, Squall."

"Only sometimes? That's the nicest thing you ever said to me. Go on. What did you do?"

"I panicked. When I saw what he was laughing about, I just panicked. I turned off the recorder. I told him something about how I had a photographic memory, or something. I tried to go on with the interview. But--but--"

"But what?"

"But I couldn't think of any questions to ask him."

"Oh, no."

"Oh, yes. It was horrible. My mind went blank. I just wanted to hide somewhere. I really thought about it, hiding behind the couch. He thought it was hilarious, the big, retarted jock. He thought it was some kind of practical joke. How could it be a practical joke? There I was, so embarrassed and mortified I was ready to hide behind the couch. How could it be a joke? He asked me whose idea it was."

"And you said--"

"I told him it was yours."

"Rinoa--"

"I'm sorry, Squall. I told you, my mind was a blank. Yours was the first name I could think of. I guess because you told me you're in his gym class. I'm really sorry. I just panicked and blurted out your name."

"Great. That's just great, Rinoa. When we have gym on Wednesday, he'll probably slam dunk me. That's Irvine's idea of a practical joke!"

"No. I'm sure—"

"Did you say anything else about me to Irvine?"

"What?"

"Did you tell him some other things about me?"

"No. That was it."

"I thought so. So he was putting me on."

"He--what? You mean he called you? He called you to say what a dork I am?"

"Uh, no. He didn't call, Rinoa. I--uh--was thinking of something else. Finish the story."

"There's nothing to finish. I told him to look for his interview in The Beacon, and I ran out of there as fast as I could. I can't believe I didn't even get the name of the paper right. Why would Selphie do that to me, Squall? Why?"

"I don't know."

"Brilliant. You're supposed to be a brain. Come on. Tell me why she played such a horrible trick on me. She's your sister."

"Give me some slack, Rinoa. You know she's not my real sister. She's only my sister because my father married her mother."

"That's no excuse. Why did she do this to me?"

"Well, maybe it's because she's hot for Irvine."


"What?"

"I think maybe I've heard her talking about him with some other girls. I think she finds him really interesting. And maybe sending you over there was a roundabout way of getting to know him."

"You mean she used me."

"It's just a wild guess, Rinoa. It's not a fast, or anything."

"She used me. She used me to get to Irvine. What a mean trick."

"Well, we shouldn't jump to conclusions. I'm probably just way off base. I shouldn't have--"

"Just tell her never to call me again, Squall. I've never heard of anything so low."

"Come on, Rinoa. You should give her a chance to exp--"

"Good night, Squall. I've got to get off the phone. I'm suddenly exhausted. I can't even hold the phone in my ear. I guess that's what total humiliation does to a person."

"Okay. Sorry you're so upset. Get some sleep. Oh, and please bring back my cassette recorder tomorrow, okay?"

"Oh. That's the other thing."

"Other thing?"

"Yeah. I ran out in such a panic, I left it at Irvine's. Sorry, Squall."

"Good night, Rinoa. Thanks for everything."

"You don't have to be so sarcastic, do you? Well do you?"

"I guess not."

"You know I'm in pain. You know I'll never be able to hold my head up or look anyone in the eye again. So don't be sarcastic. It's the least you can do."

"You're right, Rinoa. You're shouting again."

"Well, good night."

"Good night."

Chapter 5-part 2

Selphie Call Rinoa

"Hello?"

"Hello, Rinoa?"

"No, it's her mom. How are you, Selphie?"

"Okay. Is Rinoa home?"

"Yes. Just wait a minute…Uh--Selphie?"

"Yes?"

"Rinoa says she can't come to the phone right now."

"Tell her I just need to talk to her for a minute."

"Sorry, Selphie, Rinoa says--uh--Rinoa, I'm not going to tell Selphie that! If you want to tell her, tell her yourself. But I think you're being very childish!"

"Mrs. Heartilly--"

"Rinoa, I'm not going to fight your fights for you. Why are you fighting with Selphie, anyway?"

"Mrs. Heartilly--"

"I'm sorry, Selphie. I don't know what's going on between you two, but you're both mature young ladies. You're not kids anymore, and you should be able to solve your disagreements in a more grown-up manner."

"That's true, Mrs. Heartilly. I agree with you completely. Would you do me one favor?"

"What's that?"

"Tell Rinoa she's a stupid pinhead and her hair looks like a rat's nest in a hurricane."

"Goodbye, Selphie."

"Goodbye, Mrs. Heartilly."