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Chapter 8

Selphie Calls Squall

"Hello?"

"Hello, Nida?"

"No. Max, his cousin."

"Little Max? Aren't you staying up awfully late?"

"I don't know. I can't tell time."

"Well, where are your mom and dad?"

"Gone somewhere. Nida's taking care of me."

"I see. Is Squall there?"

"Who?"

"Squall. Nida's friend."

"I guess."

"Well, could you go get him, please? Tell him it's Selphie."

"I guess. Hey, Squall! Squall! A girl wants to talk to you!"

"Hello?"

"Max is wrong. I don't want to talk to you."

"Selphie?"
"In fact, I may never talk to you again."

"Selphie. Listen—"

"You're history, Squall."

"No, wait—"

"You're dead meat."

"That's no way for a sister to talk."

"Why, Squall? Why'd you do it?"

"Uh—I guess you called Irvine, huh?"

"Why? Just tell me why."

"I guess you called Irvine and it didn't go too well, huh?"

"Why, Squall? Why? Why? Why?"

"I guess it didn't go too well and now you're a little sore?"

"Why did you do that to me, Squall? I can only think of three possible reasons why you would do that to me."

"What are they?"

"Number one—you're sick."

"What's number two?"

"Number two is you're sick. And so is number three."

"I see."

"So which is it, Squall? One, two, or three?"

"None of the above, Selphie. I'm sorry you're so upset."

"Upset? Why should I be upset? Because my own brother makes up a phony story that tricks me into calling the most popular boy in school and making a total fool of myself? Because by tomorrow everyone in school will know, and people will be laughing at me for the rest of my life?"

"Well—uh—I only did it for you, Selphie."

"What? I think we have a bad connection, Squall. It sounded like you said you did if for me."

"I did. For you and Rinoa."

"Rinoa? What has she got to do with this?"

"It was her idea. I mean—I did it so you two could stop fighting and be friends again."

"Squall, not one word you're saying makes any sense. Hold on just for a second."

"Hold on? Why?"

"Because I'm going to scream."

"But, Selphie—"

"Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeee!!!"

"Selphie?"

"Okay. Where were we?"

"I was explaining about Rinoa."

"Well? What about Rinoa? The two of you cooked up this little scheme?"

"Yeah. I guess. But we—"

"But why? Why would she want to do this to me? And why would you go along with it?"

"She said if she got revenge against you, then the two of you could make up."

"Oh. Right. That makes perfect sense. Thanks for clearing it all up, Squall. Hold on just for a second, okay?"

"Hold on?"

"Aaaaaaiiiiiiieeeeeee!!!"

"Selphie, do you have to keep doing that?"

"Yes. Yes I do. I really do. Go on."

"So, getting you to call Irvine Kinneas and embarrass youself with Rinoa's revenge. Now you two can bury the hatchet."

"Sorry, Squall. It still isn't making any sense. Could you maybe explain why Rinoa had to have revenge against me, her oldest and dearest friend?"

"Yes. Yes, I can."

"Aaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeyaaaaah! Go on, Squall."

"You don't know?"

"No, Squall. I don't."

"For telling her to call Irvine Kinneas and pretend to interview him for the school paper."

"What? What did you say?"

"You heard me, Selphie. You told her to call Irvine Kinneas, and she—"

"Irvine Kinneas? No, I didn't."

"You didn't?"

"I told her to call Irvine Hardesty. Carol Trager's brother said that Irvine Hardesty liked Rinoa and wanted to ask her out. But you know how shy she is."

"Irvine Hardesty?"

"Uh-huh."

"Not Irvine Kinneas?"

"Why would I tell her to call Irvine Kinneas? He doesn't know she's alive. He doesn't know I'm alive, either. At least, he didn't until I called him up and embarrassed myself for life!"

"Irvine Hardesty?"

"Will you stop repeating that name over and over?"

"Yeah. Okay. Irvine Hardesty?"

"So Rinoa called Irvine Kinneas, too, huh. That's why she's been acting so berserk. I couldn't figure it out."

"Yeah. That's why. It was all just a big misunderstanding."

"I tried to do something nice for her."

"Irvine Hardesty?"

"What's wrong with Irvine? He's an okay guy. He's a little quiet, but he's real nice."

"A little quiet! People are always lifting his eyelids to see if he's alive!"

"Stop it, Squall."

"Remember Night of the Living Dead? That was Irvine Hardesty!"

"Stop. You're not funny."

"At least I'm breathing!"

"You sound positively jealous."

"Jealous? Of what?"

"You don't like the idea of Rinoa going out with Irvine, do you?"

"Don't be stupid. I didn't say that. I just said that Irvine Hardesty has about as much personality as vanilla yogurt. I didn't say—"

"You're jealous. For sure. If you like Rinoa so much, Squall, why don't you ask her out? You're already plotting against your own sister! Go ahead, ask the little traitor out!"

"Stop trying to change the subject, Selphie. We're not talking about me. Look. You and Rinoa are even now. So you can make up and—"

"Even? Even? How do you figure we're even?"

"Well—"

"I tried to do something nice for her, and she played a vicious trick on me in return! Everyone will know by tomorrow. I'll never live this down!"

"But you—"

"You think we're even? I'll tell you when we'll be even, Squall. We'll be even after I get my revenge! I'm going to pay her back for betraying our friendship and making a fool out of me when I was only trying to be nice. Then we'll be even!"

"But, Selphie—"

Click.

Chapter 8-part 2

Selphie Calls Rinoa

"Hello?"

"Hello, Rinoa? This is Selphie."

"No, this is Rinoa's dad. Rinoa's asleep. She went to bed over an hour ago. It's a little late to be calling, isn't it, Selphie?"

"I don't know. I don't know what time it is. I don't know anything."

"Selphie, you seem a little agitated. Is there anything I can—"

"Could you give Rinoa a message for me, Mr. Heartilly?"

"Certainly."

"Would you please tell her that our friendship is over forever, that I'm never speaking to her again as long as I live, and that I'll never forgive her for what she did to me, and that I'll get back at her if it's the last thing I ever do."

"Hold the line a minute, Selphie. I'd better get a pencil and paper. I'm not sure I can remember all that."

"Well—"

"Okay. Now what was that again?"

"Oh, never mind. Just tell her that I'm mad enough to spit."

"Okay. Mad—enough—to— Did you say 'spit'?"

"Yes. Good night, Mr. Heartilly."

"Night, Selphie."