Draggy:  Oh man.  It's been so long since I've written anything.  So, besides the fact I had to do a million year-end projects… well not a million, but it seemed that way! …hem hem, exams… which didn't really matter… not much studying involved at all!  My dilemma was this:  my keyboard was broken… broken I say!  Oh, most the letters did work, but vital ones (there all pretty much vital) didn't work so writing was a no go.  I had to do a take-home exam… typed… millions of pages… okay not a million, but still! 

Had to use the "on screen- keyboard' and I now have great advice for you all… NEVER EVER use those!  It's so tedious and S-L-O-W!!!  I swear.  I had to type out paragraphs for those projects and then that blasted take-home and it takes at least quadruple the amount of time the normal keyboard does.  And it sucks all creativity out of you 'cos you can't go even half as fast as your thoughts as you type!  (For those of you that don't know what a stupid on screen- keyboard is it is a little keyboard on your computer screen where you get to oh so delightfully type whatever you have to by slowly 'clicking' with your mouse each individual letter.)  I guarantee you; once you do this for hours and your progress is miniscule then the simple prospect of doing this again is enough to make you wait.  My oh so caring mother waited till AFTER all this tedious typing… ie, after exams …a week or so, before FINALLY getting the new one.  *sigh* But now I'm back.  Okay, okay.

No Yugi-oh owning…

Defined As Worthless: Choice

I feel so lost, so very, very lost- and confused.  Everything that had happened but a few hours before seemed to have been one large dream.  Why couldn't it be a dream?  Why!?  I could close my eyes all I liked and pretend but the moment I opened them again I would be forced with the horrible, horrible truth.  I took in an overly large gasp of air, preparing myself for the sight that awaited me.  I was not prepared, never prepared but I opened my eyes slowly nonetheless.  My left eye opened first, light streaming into my sight.  At first all I could see was the raising sun blinded me.  It seemed so bright to the suddenly familiar darkness that had enveloped me.  Then my eyes adjusted and I winced involuntarily.  I could clearly see my dead body lying on the scarlet soaked ground only mere feet in front of me.  My head was turned away from me and I was ever so thankful for that, I would not be able to bear staring into the dead me's eyes.  Never.  My body laid in a crumpled heap but was twisted in just a way that I could clearly see the huge gory gash in my chest.  My body seemed to freeze and memories of pain, PAIN flashed though my body-thingy, vessel… me. 

All I could hear was the echoing voice of my guardian angel as he whispered to me and me alone why I had to die.  "Revenge."  I repeated under my breath.  But against whom?  And why did I have to die?  What had happened?  Who had… had… who did that to his wings?  Bakura's wings, I corrected myself.  My eyes laid fixed on my body, my dead and lifeless body as thoughts wheeled inside my head.  I bet more than anything it was that angel!  The one who had dared to touch me!  The one that trapped me!  I didn't like him; I knew I didn't like him the moment I laid my eyes upon him.  Everything about that one angel chilled me.  His voice, his stance, his appearance, his attitude and especially his eyes.  They seemed to stare at me, hungrily.  And the worst of all I knew it just had to be him.  Drakes.  Yes that must have been that angel's name.  He had mentioned something about Bakura leaving but had neglected the fact that Bakura was obviously injured. 

I continued to stare at my dead body but my attention had abated from the horribleness of it all.  It seemed surreal, too fantasized to be real.  …But I knew it was real.  Suddenly my mind was jumbled out of my musings as people started to climb the hill, screaming, yelling or crying.  I watched horrified as my once quite asylum was intruded on as people, mainly police, started to crowd me.  I backed away from them all, for the first time moving from underneath the tree.  My body- or whatever it was, had already turned and started running down the hill but I was caught as the two Archangels grabbed either side of my arms and lifted me slightly from the ground as we flew to the bottom of the backside of the hill.  After they released me I did my best to glare up at them and I think I did a pretty good job considering how mad I was about EVERYTHING! 

I turned my back to the two Archangels and started walking in a random direction but they grabbed me by my arms once more.  The Archangels were tall; to me they were extremely tall and seemed to look down on me.  They wore an outfit of silver mixed with blue, huge, HUGE wings descended from their backs and when they stretched them the wings became so long that I thought it a wonder they could ever be allowed inside housings.  The one on my left spoke for the first time as I glared back up at him. 

"No.  You cannot leave."

I felt as my eyes glared at this statement.  I was dramatized, interrogated, killed, ripped from my body, emotionally exhausted and very much afraid.  I wanted to yell at them, at my captors.  I wanted to tell them to leave me alone, that I was not their prisoner and to release me at once.  I wanted to be at home, snug under my covers with the warm sun slowly waking me.  I DID NOT want to be here!  But I didn't say anything.  My voice was trapped in my throat and the Archangels had me and would not let me leave.  Miserably I sank to the ground, to lie in defeat, but my captors would have none of this and held me up, dragging me to wherever they wanted to take me.  I did not look back up at that hill.

"Stay."

I was released from their hold once again and since I was not holding myself up I fell to the ground.  The Archangels were both looking down at me, staring at me and I couldn't take it anymore.  I curled up into a loosely tight ball and sobbed.  I cried and cried and let tears fall uncontrollably.  I hurt, I hurt sooo BAD!  It hurt, it had hurt when Bakura had shoved his hand into my chest, it hurt when he had twisted and pulled.  It hurt as I was suddenly jostled inside my body and it had HURT as I was forced out.  Wretched from my bodily confines.  And it still hurts!  I sobbed more tears of pain.  Why did this have to happen!

Slowly, eventually my tears had stopped and I simply stayed how I was, in my tiny little ball, silently.  The Archangels had been silent, allowing me to cry by myself.  No comforting pats or words, no sneers or orders to stop.  But then, as I sat silently in my ball I heard the beating of wings.  Many wings.  A lot of wings.  I bit my lip and closed my eyes.  I did not budge from my ball.  I had convinced myself that if I didn't move, speak or call any attention to myself they wouldn't bug me.  They would let me be.  But of course that hadn't happened.

Soon I was surrounded once again by a cluster of angels.  I refused to look up.  I didn't want any of this.  Why couldn't they all just let me be! 

"You are dismissed.  Go back up to the Second Heaven.  …And why is the boy down here and not on the hill!"

"The police came for the body.  The child split-"

"And you LET him!"

"Sir.  I believe you should let the child be before you start this search.  He is very unstable emotionally and-"

"Oh you do, do you?  Well I believe that I'm the one in charge and…"

I covered my ears with my hands.  I just want to be alone!  Slowly I shift slightly so I could see what was happening.  As I suspected, the one I remember from this night was "talking" to one of the Archangels.  Sobbing a little still I look at the rest of the "angels" with him.  Each wore the same outfit, slightly different from Drakes who was obviously the leader.

But I didn't feel like being here, let alone in their company.  They didn't- couldn't understand how I felt.  They wouldn't understand.  I AM alone.  I just wanted to be by myself.  All of these other presences were only irritating me; they only seemed to make things worse.  I just wanted to be alone!  Couldn't they understand this!  I hurt.  My soul heart, my heart hurt, I felt broken.  Snapped?  Yet all of these… these… creatures have surrounded me, and not allowed me a moments peace to myself, they have trapped me and I never want to be trapped again, not like up on that hill, with that thing who's ironically standing near me.  I hated that feeling; I hate that being.  I hate all of this.  Why was I even here?  I shouldn't be here; I won't be here!

After a few sniffles I calmed my body down and wiped any remaining tears from my face as I cautiously rose.  Slowly I started to back away, oddly I managed to stay unnoticed since 'Drakes' was still in a heated discussion with that Archangel and his 'minions'- or so I choose to call them, were standing behind him with silent support.  Just as I turned to leave, however, my arm was grabbed and I was roughly pulled back.  My wrist seemed to be close to snapping as I was violently torn from my escape, my captor had pushed me down at her feat, and my body unceremoniously came crashing down causing my legs to scrape on the ground.  I involuntarily let out a yelp and through a half squeezed shut eye I managed to see most of the angel-thingies turn back towards me, glaring.  Their glares were of such loathing that at that moment I wondered what I could have possibly done to them- nothing.  Not yet anyway.

"You can release him now.  No need to get violent."

I heard Drakes order my captor and he released me.  Immediately I brought my wrist to my chest and nursed it sadly by rubbing it.  Drakes did not fool me.  He did not care whether or not I was hurt or safe.  He wanted Bakura; he wanted ME to lead him to Bakura.  And my opinion still hadn't changed.  I still believed Bakura to be my guardian angel, I really did.  I knew it was him who… well, killed me.  But still!  There's more going on here than what was said during the night.  There was just something that made me trust Bakura, regardless of everything else.  I knew Bakura hadn't just… run off.  No, he was far too hurt… his wings, his poor wings.  I'll figure this mystery out even if it kills me… err… again.  Of course you can't die twice, so that's somewhat of a fruitless saying.  

Suddenly I'm brought out of my thoughts as I'm dragged off the ground, face to face with Drakes.  I turned my head and I feel fear once again as the two Archangels flew high above me… leaving me, abandoning me with them.  I could not believe it.  I could feel Drakes smile and it made my shiver, I suddenly felt very cold.  Biting my lip slightly I drew enough courage to face him but he had already let go of me and as I turned to him he had turned his back on me.  Drakes addressed his 'minions', Hehe, I can't help but laugh, I find it funny how these angel-thingies seem to worship the one called Drakes.  It was just plainly funny. 

I started to look at them for what they were, of course I didn't know what they were, hence me trying to figure it out.  …True, they did have angel wings, though a lot smaller than the Archangels.  They also had a much more dangerous appearance.  All heads had their hair firmly pulled from their faces, even the males.  Some sort of round blade was tied to each of their wastes and a menacingly dark claw poked out from every left of right wrist.  They seemed stiffed and well trained but at the same time they looked very happy, as if they had just received some sort of treat- or eagerly waiting in anticipation for the treat.  I frowned at this thought.

Since Drakes back was turned I took this as the perfect time to try to once again escape their company.  It was a no go.  Drakes had grabbed be and once again I was face to face with him.  I did not like this man, and I could tell he did not like me either.  "Please", I whispered, "please let me go.  You're hurting my wrist."  

Drakes let a small smile cross his face before turning back to his 'minions' who were both male and female.  "Who- who are you?"  My voice was soft, devoid of all anger from earlier when I yelled at the Archangel.  Now, I simply wanted to be alone.  My voice was sad, even I could tell. 

In return I got a smirk.  Well, the little wingless one finally speaks something sensible.  We are the Virtues.  We are warrior type Angels.  Soldiers of the heavens, superior to the Archangels.  Our missions usually aren't so tedious as to bring as down to the Earth for long unlike the lower warriors, the Archangels."  He stopped here to smile.  "I am, of course, the leader and am to be obeyed at all costs.  We take care of traitors like the Fallen, we-" 

Whatever else they were I did not know for I had interrupted, something about the 'Fallen' intrigued me.  Was I a "Fallen" since I could never go to heaven- since I would be trapped on the earth for eternity, since I was doomed to-

"A Fallen?"  He repeated my question, turning to his Virtues and watched as they smiled at my limited knowledge.  "A Fallen, oh wingless one, are those that turn their back on the Nine Heavens.  They are traitors, they are no longer a part of the Heavens, outcasts… demons."

I couldn't help but gasp at this.  Demons were created from angels?  That just didn't seem logical.  "But- but angels are, have feathery wings and, and no tail… no red scaly skin and- and they don't have evil flame powers and- and…"

"That's enough.  Have demons been so wildly betrayed.  A Demon can be anyone.  They could look just like you.  In fact," Drakes leaned closer to my ear and whispered serenely, "you could be one."  I pulled away startled and fell backwards.  I knew my eyes were wide but I couldn't be a- a demon?  I don't want to be evil!  The Virtues were laughing at me, looking down at me.  "I'M NOT EVIL!"  I shout, my voice determined. 

"Don't be foolish oh wingless one.  There can be a very thin line between good and bad.  A VERY thin line.  What could most obviously be the most righteous and virtuous path in one beings eye could easily be that of the worst thing possible to another.  Good and bad," Drakes shrugged, "are only seen in the beholder.  They don't really exist."  With that Drakes leaned over me.  "Now.  I am bored of waiting for you to pull your sorry excuse of an 'angel' together.  We", turning his head slightly towards his Virtues, "have wasted enough time.  Now.  Get up!  Which way did Bakura go?"

I was speechless.  Wait!  I never agreed to help him, and I still refuse.  "If…" I said calmly though shaking on the inside.  "If there is no good or bad then why hunt Bakura.  What makes you so sure you're doing the right thing."  Saying this I waited and watched for his reaction.  Surely he could not justify what he was going to do.  But he simply smiled.  "Simple.  I am a Virtue.  Those behind me are virtues, a Cherubim ordered me to do so.  We are angels.  Bakura is not.  He is a demon.  He will kill again; you forget that you were his latest victim.  Don't fool yourself to thinking he only visited you at those odd nights.  You are nothing special.  Worthless.  You are mere dirt on the end of anyone's boot.  He does not care for you, where is he?  Remember he killed you, murdered you.  Ripped out your heart.  You're worthless, useless.  You can't even fly!  You have no use to any of the angels, not one heaven will accept you.  Foolish wingless one.  This is you ONLY chance to do good.  Don't fool yourself into thinking he's your, what did you call him, "Guardian Angel" because he's not.  Good and Bad may be a thin line but the Heavens decide what is right and wrong.  Worthless winless one.  You have no point in living."

I could feel the tears start to well up in my eyes again.  I would not let them fall I refuse!  I am not worthless.  I- I am not worthless… I- I… am not… worthless…   I did not ask for this!  I didn't!  Hastily I turn my back on the Virtues as a tear fell from my face.  I- I don't want to cry anymore.  I don't want to do- anything.  Drakes stands behind me and put his arms over my back so they rested on my chest.  Immediately I pulled away and glared at him, a soft, wavering glare that faded from my face, until he wiped the tear from my cheek.  I couldn't help myself I slapped him- hard.  His neck twisted so suddenly that I relished in the thought that it might have snapped.  Instead he fell to one knee, his Virtues rushed to his side, all glaring at me with such horror or shock.  I was pleased though.  How dare he touch my face again!  How dare he, that bastard! 

His laughter startled me.  He grabbed my wrist and twisted it, I tried to pull free but somehow I ended up on the ground.  I screamed out in pain as I felt my bone start to force apart.  Just as it was about to snap he released me.  Once again I nursed it with my other hand against my chest. 

"I am sorely loosing my patience with you.  You tell us which way Bakura is and we won't kill you."

"Kill me- I thought- I thought you could only…"

"What, die once.  Don't make me laugh.  If you ever want to see your precious Bakura again then you do well to tell me where he is."  Drakes smiled.  "I'll even let you say goodbye."

That was it; I couldn't take it anymore and bolted.  I might not be able to fly but I can sure as hell… is there a hell?  Well, I can sure as hell run!  I sprinted, forcing all my strength in getting away from them.  I could hear Drakes give an order, the Virtues took to the air, and I could see their shadows behind me.  I wasn't going to be fast enough.  I wouldn't make it.  Then I felt it, my head turned to my left and now I was sure.  I could see a figure in the shadows.  And I knew who it was!  Bakura… but I couldn't go to him; the Virtues would only be delighted.  One of the virtues swooped down upon me.  I suddenly jumped to my left, stumbled but got back up the Virtue had missed.  Once again I felt that tug and looked at Bakura again.  Could I trust him?  He had already betrayed me, true I wanted to save him, protect him, but I don't think I could ever trust him again. 

Another Virtue came down at me, no, two!  In a split second I stopped running and turned around again, causing the Virtues to miss yet again.  The only thing was I could not run anymore.  I soon stumbled and fell, rolling in the dirt from the speed I had forced my 'body' into.  Shakily I noticed that I had unconsciously run towards Bakura!  I cursed under my breath.  …But now that I could see him- well he was still fully hidden in his robes, he seemed to be waiting for me?  His foot was tapping impatiently and his arms were crossed; yet I knew it was I he was waiting for.  Wincing I looked back and to my horror the Virtues seemed to have landed a few feet from me and now were walking carelessly towards me.  The Virtues leader last, as if he didn't even attempt to recapture me, just sent his little minions.  Still horrified I looked back at Bakura he still looked impatient.  What to do, what to do!  Attempt to escape with Bakura and surely fail, causing in his capture or willingly go back in the Virtues company and point them in fake directions.  I gave one last look at Bakura, hoping the virtues think I'm just looking longingly at the forest, and shakily I push myself to my feet.  Biting my lip I take one step towards the Virtues…