Don't Speak
Note: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far and please review this one as well! As always I don't own Gundam Wing ....Waahhhhh and the only thing I own is the plot. The song Don't Speak is by No Doubt.
Sally stared at the papers before her without really seeing them as she sat alone at her desk. Eyes filling with unshed tears Sally struggled to keep them at bay as she tried to remember what she was suppose to be doing . Crying wouldn't help Sally told herself sternly as she rubbed her eyes dejectedly. Besides it would only confirm Wufei's opinion of her. Your acting like a weakling, Sally she told herself rubbing her eyes to clear them. Focusing more closely on the papers Sally tried to process the information but couldn't get past the conversation she'd overheard that morning. The other Chinese Clans were pressuring Wufei to get married and continue the Chang line. Apparently they had several candidates picked out and they expected him to come chose one as soon as possible. If he did she'd have to quit being his partner. She could barely handle being around him as it was without knowing that she'd lost him completely. Not that she possibly hadn't lost him already Sally thought bitterly as she restrained the need to hurl the papers off her desk. Ever since she'd begun to show Wufei some affection in the hopes that he'd return them he'd become distant and angry. He was calling her Onna more often these days and he was constantly talking around her as oppose to at her. She should have left things the way they were Sally thought miserably as she felt the tears well up again. But no, she'd had to try to get him to realize that she loved him, that she would make him a good wife. But all she'd done was drive him further away. Now he avoided her and only talked about business. They saw each other every day at work but it was as if they were miles apart.
You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know.
Laying her head in her hands Sally gave in to her emotions with a sob in her throat. Her shoulders heaving she cried her heart out for everything she'd lost and would lose shortly. Whoever said that its better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all obviously didn't know what it felt like to love someone who could never love you back. Giving herself completely to her crying she didn't even hear someone entering the room.
Wufei stared at his partner in shock. Sally was crying. Sally didn't cry, that's what weak women did. Sally wasn't weak, why was she crying? What was going on here? Watching her shoulders heave Wufei watched helplessly, not knowing what to do. He could go and try to find Noin or Relena but he had a feeling Sally wouldn't thank him for it. She was a private person like him and wouldn't like anyone seeing her in such an undisciplined state. What kind of news could she have got to break her control and reduce her to this? He should probably leave but something inside him told him Sally needed him and he'd be the worst kind of coward if he left her like this. It didn't matter that he had been trying to stay away from her and the feelings she aroused in him. She was his friend and he would do what was honourable. "Sally?"
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts.
"Go away, Wufei." Sally said without raising her head. As soon as he'd called her name like that, like he cared she'd felt another piece of her heart splinter. Oh how she loved the sound of his voice, how long had she longed to hear him speak her name with such caring. She'd only had to break down and sob like a baby in front of him to hear it. But he wasn't suppose to see her like this. He wasn't suppose to be here at all.
"What's wrong Sally?" Wufei said looking at her questioningly. He didn't move so surprised by the agony in those three words. What had happened?
"I told you to go, Wufei. What part of that didn't you understand?" Sally said lifting her head to shoot him a pain filled look. "For once in your life do what I say."
Taken aback from the agony in her face Wufei ignored her orders and walked closer so that only her desk separated them. "I won't leave until you tell me what's wrong. Is it your family? Your mother, one of your siblings?"
"They're fine so go." Sally said holding his gaze through pure will. "There's nothing you can do, Wufei so just go and let me finish my cry. Go home and think of all the ways to call me weak and pathetic for breaking down like this."
"I don't think you're weak, Sally. You're one of the strongest females I have ever known, Onna. You are strong and I do not think less of you for crying. We've known each other for over six years, Sally. Can you not tell me what troubles you? We 've fought along side each other in battle and saved the others life too many times to count. Can you not trust me with this?"
Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry.
"This is one thing I can't discuss with you, Wufei. You're my friend, one of the best and I know that. But this is one mess you can't help me clean up. I made the mistake and I'll deal with it. Alone."
"But you don't have to deal with it alone, Sally. Let me help." Wufei said moving around the desk and coming to a stop at her side. Placing a hand on her shoulder he felt a shudder run through her at his touch. "Let me help, Sally." he said softly.
"Unless you can mend a broken heart, Wufei there isn't anything you can help me with." Sally said sadly as she rubbed her eyes to clear them. Wufei's appearance had at least stopped her tears from falling. Even when things were hopeless her body still tried to prove to him that she was strong enough for him.
"Your heart has been broken?" Wufei said in surprise. He hadn't been aware that Sally was seeing anyone, much less in love. Given their hours and schedules a social life was damn near impossible so when would she have time to see someone, much less fall for him. Who was he that could reduce Sally to this? Whoever he was he was going to pay for hurting her and treating her badly. As Sally had no close male relatives he would take it upon himself to avenge the wrong against her. "Give me his name."
"You going to beat him up for me, Wufei?" Sally thought with a sad smile. What would he say if he knew the man he was seeking was himself. "You can't."
"He won't stand a chance, Onna. You needn't fear for my safety." Wufei said rather annoyed that she didn't think he was capable of defending her. She should realize by know that he was anything but weak. Though it was rather nice to know she worried about his safety Wufei admitted, even if there was no need to.
"I know you could if it were possible, Wufei. Everything about this is my own fault, Wufei, not his. I knew that I could never have him but I fell for him anyway, I knew that this day would come, Wufei. I have no one to blame but myself. The only thing he did wrong was be the person that he is."
"Why can't you have him?" Wufei asked looking confused. Sally was far too honourable to go after another woman's husband or man and though not gorgeous she was still quite pretty to look at. What kind of a man had she fallen for that wouldn't want such a prize? "Because he'll never see me as anything other then a casual friend. I'm not his type." Sally said with a hint of bitterness.
"Then he is a fool, Sally. Any man would be privileged to call you his." Wufei said fiercely as he stared intently into her eyes. Sally deserved much better then this bastard and he would see to it that she got over him immediately. He did not like seeing her upset. It made him feel...useless, a feeling he wouldn't tolerate having.
"He is obviously not worth your tears." Wufei said watching her absorb his words as he gave her a reassuring look. Slowly he watched a smile cross her lips though it wasn't a happy smile. It was the smile of one without hope trying to put on a happy face for their audience. He had never though to see such a smile on her face.
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons Don't tell me cause it hurts.
"Thank you, Wufei for what you're trying to do but it won't work. This is it for me. I've searched my whole life for him and now I've found him. I cannot have him but at least I can be near him so don't worry about me, Wufei, I'll be fine. I've been content with that for a long time now. I can handle it."
"Why can't you have him, Sally? What stands in your way?" Wufei said not liking the look in her eyes at all. They were not the shining, caring eyes of his Sally. They were the eyes of someone who was without hope.
"Did you mean it, Wufei? When you said that any man would be privileged to call me his?" Sally said suddenly looking at him with an intensity that startled him. Feeling as though everything was held by a thread Wufei slowly nodded.
"I said something to that effect therefore I must have meant it."
"Does that include you?" Sally said just loud enough for him to hear her. All was silent as the words hung in the air like a heavy fog.
It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
"What did you say?" Wufei said taken aback as she moved in her seat so that she was facing him. Surely he had heard her wrong. Why would she ask him such a question?
"Would you consider yourself privileged to call me yours?" Sally said looking him dead in the eye. He wanted to know what was wrong well then she'd tell him. She'd tell him what he didn't want to know and the consequences be damned. She knew that nothing good could come oh this but she had to get it off her chest. The need to tell him was so great and if she didn't, she'd always regret it.
"Well I.... Why do you ask me this, Onna?" Wufei said in confusion, falling back on the comfort of referring to her as Onna. There was a strange light in her eyes now and Wufei felt as though he'd just opened Pandora's box and was about to see what was inside.
"Because if you meant what you said then I have no reason to be crying my heart out. If you'd be privileged to call me yours then I'd have no reason to be feeling as though my heart is shattering into a million pieces."
"Sally, what are you saying?" Wufei said taking a step back.
"I'm saying that your the reason I'm sitting here trying to come to grips with the fact that I can't have you."
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying So please stop explaining.
"What?" Wufei said feeling the floor beneath him vanish. She was crying over him? He was the reason she was crying? He'd put this dead look in her eyes? He was the one who'd broken her heart? "Sally are you saying that you..."
"Yes, Wufei, that's exactly what I'm saying. Wo ai ni Wufei. I love you. So get out and leave me alone. You've got your name now so leave." Sally said glaring at him from behind lashes coated with tears. Feeling them roll down her face she waited for him to go running like a bat out of hell. But all he did was stand there with his eyes glued to hers.
Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good.
What was she talking about Wufei thought looking at her as though he'd told her that the world was going to end in a matter of minutes.
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts.
"You're serious, aren't you?" Wufei finally managed to say as he watched the tears stream down her face. She loved him. Sally loved him.
"Yes I'm serious, Wufei. Well now you have the answers to all your questions and I'll stop crying in a minute so go. If you're worried about work then don't be. Like I said everything will go along as normal. You won't have to worry about me acting like a love sick puppy." Sally said bowing her head slightly so he wouldn't see how much her words hurt her.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" Wufei said and when she wouldn't answer he got down on one knee and carefully took her head between his hands. Lifting her head up Wufei felt a sheering pain when he saw the pain in her eyes, twice as bad as before.
"What would have been the point, Wufei? I knew from day one that I could never be yours." Sally said softly and Wufei felt tears run into his hands. Knowing it wasn't the smartest thing to do Wufei none the less did it anyway. Moving his hands he wrapped them around her waist and drew her down to him, pulling her into his arms. Latching on like she'd never let go Sally sobbed into his shoulder as she cried out all the pain inside her threatening to spill out. Murmuring soothing words he'd seen their secretary use when one of her children were upset Wufei tried rubbing her back which seemed to help. "It will be all right, Sally." Wufei said though how it could be he didn't know. Sally loved him and he, he didn't know what he felt for her. She was his close friend, colleague, partner, and occasional shoulder to lean on. He cared a great deal for her Wufei thought with some amazement, but was what he felt for her love. He'd long concluded that love was an unnecessary emotion and something he would never have. Yet he had Sally's love and that made him very happy, like it was something he'd wanted without realizing it.
"You should go, Wufei. I'll be all right." Sally said moving her head from his neck. Chin out and shoulders straight she looked at him with determination and pride. "Thanks for the hug, I needed it."
"Sally, I...."
"No, Wufei." Sally said placing a finger in front of his lips. "I don't need you to say anything. I hope that we can still be friends though. Your friendship means a great deal to me."
"Of course Sally." Wufei said with a hint of pride. Sally was no wishy washy woman, she was as strong as he was and held her head high.
"Thank you for that." Sally said with a smile. Leaning over she placed a light kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow." Standing up she walked out of her office leaving Wufei kneeling on the floor trying to figure out how he was suppose to act now that he knew that the most important person in his life loved him as more then just a friend.
Note: Thanks to everyone who's reviewed so far and please review this one as well! As always I don't own Gundam Wing ....Waahhhhh and the only thing I own is the plot. The song Don't Speak is by No Doubt.
Sally stared at the papers before her without really seeing them as she sat alone at her desk. Eyes filling with unshed tears Sally struggled to keep them at bay as she tried to remember what she was suppose to be doing . Crying wouldn't help Sally told herself sternly as she rubbed her eyes dejectedly. Besides it would only confirm Wufei's opinion of her. Your acting like a weakling, Sally she told herself rubbing her eyes to clear them. Focusing more closely on the papers Sally tried to process the information but couldn't get past the conversation she'd overheard that morning. The other Chinese Clans were pressuring Wufei to get married and continue the Chang line. Apparently they had several candidates picked out and they expected him to come chose one as soon as possible. If he did she'd have to quit being his partner. She could barely handle being around him as it was without knowing that she'd lost him completely. Not that she possibly hadn't lost him already Sally thought bitterly as she restrained the need to hurl the papers off her desk. Ever since she'd begun to show Wufei some affection in the hopes that he'd return them he'd become distant and angry. He was calling her Onna more often these days and he was constantly talking around her as oppose to at her. She should have left things the way they were Sally thought miserably as she felt the tears well up again. But no, she'd had to try to get him to realize that she loved him, that she would make him a good wife. But all she'd done was drive him further away. Now he avoided her and only talked about business. They saw each other every day at work but it was as if they were miles apart.
You and me
We used to be together
Everyday together always
I really feel
That I'm losing my best friend
I can't believe
This could be the end
It looks as though you're letting go
And if it's real
Well I don't want to know.
Laying her head in her hands Sally gave in to her emotions with a sob in her throat. Her shoulders heaving she cried her heart out for everything she'd lost and would lose shortly. Whoever said that its better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all obviously didn't know what it felt like to love someone who could never love you back. Giving herself completely to her crying she didn't even hear someone entering the room.
Wufei stared at his partner in shock. Sally was crying. Sally didn't cry, that's what weak women did. Sally wasn't weak, why was she crying? What was going on here? Watching her shoulders heave Wufei watched helplessly, not knowing what to do. He could go and try to find Noin or Relena but he had a feeling Sally wouldn't thank him for it. She was a private person like him and wouldn't like anyone seeing her in such an undisciplined state. What kind of news could she have got to break her control and reduce her to this? He should probably leave but something inside him told him Sally needed him and he'd be the worst kind of coward if he left her like this. It didn't matter that he had been trying to stay away from her and the feelings she aroused in him. She was his friend and he would do what was honourable. "Sally?"
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts.
"Go away, Wufei." Sally said without raising her head. As soon as he'd called her name like that, like he cared she'd felt another piece of her heart splinter. Oh how she loved the sound of his voice, how long had she longed to hear him speak her name with such caring. She'd only had to break down and sob like a baby in front of him to hear it. But he wasn't suppose to see her like this. He wasn't suppose to be here at all.
"What's wrong Sally?" Wufei said looking at her questioningly. He didn't move so surprised by the agony in those three words. What had happened?
"I told you to go, Wufei. What part of that didn't you understand?" Sally said lifting her head to shoot him a pain filled look. "For once in your life do what I say."
Taken aback from the agony in her face Wufei ignored her orders and walked closer so that only her desk separated them. "I won't leave until you tell me what's wrong. Is it your family? Your mother, one of your siblings?"
"They're fine so go." Sally said holding his gaze through pure will. "There's nothing you can do, Wufei so just go and let me finish my cry. Go home and think of all the ways to call me weak and pathetic for breaking down like this."
"I don't think you're weak, Sally. You're one of the strongest females I have ever known, Onna. You are strong and I do not think less of you for crying. We've known each other for over six years, Sally. Can you not tell me what troubles you? We 've fought along side each other in battle and saved the others life too many times to count. Can you not trust me with this?"
Our memories
Well, they can be inviting
But some are altogether
Mighty frightening
As we die, both you and I
With my head in my hands
I sit and cry.
"This is one thing I can't discuss with you, Wufei. You're my friend, one of the best and I know that. But this is one mess you can't help me clean up. I made the mistake and I'll deal with it. Alone."
"But you don't have to deal with it alone, Sally. Let me help." Wufei said moving around the desk and coming to a stop at her side. Placing a hand on her shoulder he felt a shudder run through her at his touch. "Let me help, Sally." he said softly.
"Unless you can mend a broken heart, Wufei there isn't anything you can help me with." Sally said sadly as she rubbed her eyes to clear them. Wufei's appearance had at least stopped her tears from falling. Even when things were hopeless her body still tried to prove to him that she was strong enough for him.
"Your heart has been broken?" Wufei said in surprise. He hadn't been aware that Sally was seeing anyone, much less in love. Given their hours and schedules a social life was damn near impossible so when would she have time to see someone, much less fall for him. Who was he that could reduce Sally to this? Whoever he was he was going to pay for hurting her and treating her badly. As Sally had no close male relatives he would take it upon himself to avenge the wrong against her. "Give me his name."
"You going to beat him up for me, Wufei?" Sally thought with a sad smile. What would he say if he knew the man he was seeking was himself. "You can't."
"He won't stand a chance, Onna. You needn't fear for my safety." Wufei said rather annoyed that she didn't think he was capable of defending her. She should realize by know that he was anything but weak. Though it was rather nice to know she worried about his safety Wufei admitted, even if there was no need to.
"I know you could if it were possible, Wufei. Everything about this is my own fault, Wufei, not his. I knew that I could never have him but I fell for him anyway, I knew that this day would come, Wufei. I have no one to blame but myself. The only thing he did wrong was be the person that he is."
"Why can't you have him?" Wufei asked looking confused. Sally was far too honourable to go after another woman's husband or man and though not gorgeous she was still quite pretty to look at. What kind of a man had she fallen for that wouldn't want such a prize? "Because he'll never see me as anything other then a casual friend. I'm not his type." Sally said with a hint of bitterness.
"Then he is a fool, Sally. Any man would be privileged to call you his." Wufei said fiercely as he stared intently into her eyes. Sally deserved much better then this bastard and he would see to it that she got over him immediately. He did not like seeing her upset. It made him feel...useless, a feeling he wouldn't tolerate having.
"He is obviously not worth your tears." Wufei said watching her absorb his words as he gave her a reassuring look. Slowly he watched a smile cross her lips though it wasn't a happy smile. It was the smile of one without hope trying to put on a happy face for their audience. He had never though to see such a smile on her face.
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons Don't tell me cause it hurts.
"Thank you, Wufei for what you're trying to do but it won't work. This is it for me. I've searched my whole life for him and now I've found him. I cannot have him but at least I can be near him so don't worry about me, Wufei, I'll be fine. I've been content with that for a long time now. I can handle it."
"Why can't you have him, Sally? What stands in your way?" Wufei said not liking the look in her eyes at all. They were not the shining, caring eyes of his Sally. They were the eyes of someone who was without hope.
"Did you mean it, Wufei? When you said that any man would be privileged to call me his?" Sally said suddenly looking at him with an intensity that startled him. Feeling as though everything was held by a thread Wufei slowly nodded.
"I said something to that effect therefore I must have meant it."
"Does that include you?" Sally said just loud enough for him to hear her. All was silent as the words hung in the air like a heavy fog.
It's all ending
I gotta stop pretending who we are...
"What did you say?" Wufei said taken aback as she moved in her seat so that she was facing him. Surely he had heard her wrong. Why would she ask him such a question?
"Would you consider yourself privileged to call me yours?" Sally said looking him dead in the eye. He wanted to know what was wrong well then she'd tell him. She'd tell him what he didn't want to know and the consequences be damned. She knew that nothing good could come oh this but she had to get it off her chest. The need to tell him was so great and if she didn't, she'd always regret it.
"Well I.... Why do you ask me this, Onna?" Wufei said in confusion, falling back on the comfort of referring to her as Onna. There was a strange light in her eyes now and Wufei felt as though he'd just opened Pandora's box and was about to see what was inside.
"Because if you meant what you said then I have no reason to be crying my heart out. If you'd be privileged to call me yours then I'd have no reason to be feeling as though my heart is shattering into a million pieces."
"Sally, what are you saying?" Wufei said taking a step back.
"I'm saying that your the reason I'm sitting here trying to come to grips with the fact that I can't have you."
Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts (no, no, no)
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't tell me cause it hurts!
I know what you're saying So please stop explaining.
"What?" Wufei said feeling the floor beneath him vanish. She was crying over him? He was the reason she was crying? He'd put this dead look in her eyes? He was the one who'd broken her heart? "Sally are you saying that you..."
"Yes, Wufei, that's exactly what I'm saying. Wo ai ni Wufei. I love you. So get out and leave me alone. You've got your name now so leave." Sally said glaring at him from behind lashes coated with tears. Feeling them roll down her face she waited for him to go running like a bat out of hell. But all he did was stand there with his eyes glued to hers.
Don't speak,
don't speak,
don't speak,
oh I know what you're thinking
And I don't need your reasons
I know you're good,
I know you're good,
I know you're real good.
What was she talking about Wufei thought looking at her as though he'd told her that the world was going to end in a matter of minutes.
Oh, la la la la la la La la la la la la
Don't, Don't, uh-huh Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush
don't tell me tell me cause it hurts
Hush, hush darlin' Hush, hush darlin'
Hush, hush don't tell me tell me cause it hurts.
"You're serious, aren't you?" Wufei finally managed to say as he watched the tears stream down her face. She loved him. Sally loved him.
"Yes I'm serious, Wufei. Well now you have the answers to all your questions and I'll stop crying in a minute so go. If you're worried about work then don't be. Like I said everything will go along as normal. You won't have to worry about me acting like a love sick puppy." Sally said bowing her head slightly so he wouldn't see how much her words hurt her.
"Why didn't you tell me before?" Wufei said and when she wouldn't answer he got down on one knee and carefully took her head between his hands. Lifting her head up Wufei felt a sheering pain when he saw the pain in her eyes, twice as bad as before.
"What would have been the point, Wufei? I knew from day one that I could never be yours." Sally said softly and Wufei felt tears run into his hands. Knowing it wasn't the smartest thing to do Wufei none the less did it anyway. Moving his hands he wrapped them around her waist and drew her down to him, pulling her into his arms. Latching on like she'd never let go Sally sobbed into his shoulder as she cried out all the pain inside her threatening to spill out. Murmuring soothing words he'd seen their secretary use when one of her children were upset Wufei tried rubbing her back which seemed to help. "It will be all right, Sally." Wufei said though how it could be he didn't know. Sally loved him and he, he didn't know what he felt for her. She was his close friend, colleague, partner, and occasional shoulder to lean on. He cared a great deal for her Wufei thought with some amazement, but was what he felt for her love. He'd long concluded that love was an unnecessary emotion and something he would never have. Yet he had Sally's love and that made him very happy, like it was something he'd wanted without realizing it.
"You should go, Wufei. I'll be all right." Sally said moving her head from his neck. Chin out and shoulders straight she looked at him with determination and pride. "Thanks for the hug, I needed it."
"Sally, I...."
"No, Wufei." Sally said placing a finger in front of his lips. "I don't need you to say anything. I hope that we can still be friends though. Your friendship means a great deal to me."
"Of course Sally." Wufei said with a hint of pride. Sally was no wishy washy woman, she was as strong as he was and held her head high.
"Thank you for that." Sally said with a smile. Leaning over she placed a light kiss on his cheek. "I'll see you tomorrow." Standing up she walked out of her office leaving Wufei kneeling on the floor trying to figure out how he was suppose to act now that he knew that the most important person in his life loved him as more then just a friend.