The Question of Inevitability
Author: Knowhere
Chapter 2: Prose
Rating: Pg-13
Disclaimer: Nothing
AN: Thank you for those who reviewed and especially those who saw this plot to become a similar one to other stories. But don't worry, this will not be a 'Rory moves back—finds job—has Jess as boss—they meet—fall back in love.' I have a different angle to this one. Keep reading.
Summary: Rory left in search of an answer to the question that she didn't know how to ask. Now five years later she comes back to the city where she abruptly ended her life with Jess. Does he have the ability to forgive her? Literati/Au/Future Fic
Jess unlocked the door to his loft apartment and was greeted by Oliver that was waiting for him at the door. "Hey buddy." He leaned down briefly to ruffle the dog's ears but then struggled to carry the take out bags to the kitchen. Oliver followed Jess happily, just watching him with wide and curious eyes. "Too bad you don't have opposable thumbs; you could make this whole process a lot easier." Jess looked down and shook his head. The answering machine blinked consistently and Jess stretched over the counter to press the button while the opened the refrigerator to grab a beer.
The machine replied with a shrill high-pitched voice, "Hi Jess, its Becky. I had a lot of fun the other night, anyways I'd love to do it again…give me a call you know my number, gorgeous."
Oliver looked up from his lying place on the floor and Jess stared back with a grimace. "Ugh…when will she get the point that I'm not interested, huh? You should've chewed her expensive shoes…you do it to mine, why couldn't you do me a favor and get rid of her?" Shaking his head, he grabbed his drink and his containers of Chinese and headed over to the couch.
He found the remote on the coffee table and started to channel surf. He incidentally flipped to a random movie channel and they were playing 'While You Were Sleeping.' It was at the point where Bill Pullman slants into Sandra Bullock and tells her the intimacy of leaning.
(Flashback)
Rory was standing in her study, peering into her book case for something good to read. She picked up Shakespeare's As You Like It and began to flip through some of the pages. She smiles as she sees the familiar scrawl on practically every page. She brushes her hair out of her face with her left hand and continues to stand there in front of her bookcase, absorbing the memories.
Jess walks up behind her and at first he's about to say something, but then reconsiders. He stands taller to look over her shoulder to see what she's reading. Smiling to see that she had picked up one of his old books, Jess quietly stalks up behind her and blows on her neck.
She startles and jumps at his touch. "Jess…you scared the crap out of me." Rory turns around to look at him.
"I try…As You Like It huh? You know…I've always like Oliver, Orlando's older brother." Jess smirks at her and reaches his hand up to lean into her, trapping her between his body and the bookcase.
She lets the book down to her side and tilts her head up to respond, "Oh, yea?" She giggles because he's so close to her…his scent is intoxicating to her senses. She fights to stay visibly in control.
Jess can tell that she's loosing control and he likes how he can affect her like that. "You know…leaning is much more intimate than a hug…"
He's getting cheesy and she loves that about him. Sure, he can be sarcastic and stubborn at times, but it's moments like these that make her fall for him all over again. Rory knows that he rarely does something like that—to quote a romantic comedy, and she enjoys the moment…
(End of Flashback)
Jess scowled at the TV screen and picked up the remote to turn it off. He got up off the couch and walked over to his bedroom where he just flopped in bed and began to stare at the ceiling. He was picking up random patterns and he rolled over with a groan and thought to himself. 'Why am I still thinking about things like that? It's been five years and God knows that I've tried to move past all that shit.' He reached over to his nightstand and just clicked the lamp off and went to sleep—not even bothering with his shoes or clothes.
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The abrasive sound of the telephone awoke Jess from his light sleep. He groaned and blindly fumbled for the light switch. Taking his time to grab his clock and to read the time, he rubbed his face with a weary palm and picked up the phone from the base unit. "Hello?" He slurred slightly and cleared his throat to make himself sound more coherent.
"Jess? Hey man, it's me." The line crackled with static but Jess could still hear perfectly fine over the slight buzz of taxi cabs and various street conversations.
"Ben? Dude, it's like three in the morning. Why are you calling?"
"I need a place to stay for tonight. Can I crash at your place?"
"Sure, come on over." They hung up and Jess wavered for a minute on his bed, debating on whether or not to get out at that moment. Finally, he realized that he didn't know exactly where Ben was so he figured that he probably should at least get a pillow and a blanket for his friend.
Jess had met Ben in college; they had been roommates and they forged a friendship much closer than that of simple acquaintances. They both had similar backgrounds—both came from the city and struggled to make into college, but most of all, they both seemed to posses that unsettling quality about life. It was that feeling that drew the two together, but many times it also became their downfall. They both struggled with the inability to find peace in their current situation. Ben, much like Jess, felt like it was always wrong to stop to enjoy the moment without examining every detail without trying to shield himself from what he thought was inevitable heartbreak. After college, they both kept in touch even after Ben went to work as a computer programmer. Both men enjoyed their jobs and they would get together once in a while for a drink. Since they shared a similar connection, they continued to be best friends and they often called upon each other for favors.
Just as Jess finished laying out the pillow and sleeping bag that Ben seemed to use so many times, the door buzzed. He got up to his feet and went to let Ben in. Oliver happily padded over to the door to greet the newcomer. Jess took a quick glance around the apartment to make sure everything was ready and then slipped the lock open and welcomed his friend. "Hey man."
"Hey Jess. Thanks for this, really I mean it. I just didn't have anywhere else to go tonight."
Ben walked past him with his small black duffel bag along with his leather briefcase. Jess turned and smirked at his companion. Ben was wearing a very professional business shirt and tie with old denim jeans and a well-worn pair of high top converses. Jess almost commented on the attire, but then he realized that he looked very similar to Ben—like they were adults but still held onto their childhood. Jess went to the kitchen to grab them each something to drink. "What do you want?"
"A beer would be nice." Ben called from his comfortable position on the couch as Jess walked back to him with a beer in hand. "Thanks, I really need this drink."
"You look like shit." Jess was never one for flowery-words, especially not with Ben.
"Yeah, thanks for the newsflash. I've been walking around the city for like the last two hours. She kicked me out, you know?"
Jess's face suddenly dropped with concern. He knew that Ben had really liked his girlfriend; actually Jess would even be brave enough to say that his friend was in love. Even though Ben adamantly denied it, Jess could tell that he was actually considering settling down with this one. Knowing that this is certainly a hard time for his friend, Jess did something that he rarely does with guys. "You wanna talk about it?"
Ben was somewhat shocked but didn't call Jess on it. He was really grateful for the chance to talk with someone he trusted. "I just don't know what happened. I mean, one second we're doing all great and stuff and the next, we're at each other's throats. I have shitty days too ya know, and it's like she doesn't even think I have a life outside of our relationship. Don't get me wrong, it's not that I don't love her or anything; it's just hard when she won't stop yelling at me. Well too late now, she said that she'd be out of the apartment by tomorrow. Wow, I really screwed this one up, didn't I?"
With a slight sympathetic chuckle Jess replied, "Yeah I guess; but you know I'm not the best person to be asking for advice on relationships. God knows I can't keep my own love life working, much less have someone that I love. Maybe this whole relationship thing isn't for guys like us."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm just saying that maybe there isn't that perfect someone out there for everyone. Maybe we just go around in our lives trying to find that special one, but we can never be happy because that person only exists in those crap fairy tales that we're told as kids to keep up reaching for our damn dreams. Maybe perfect isn't real…well, what do I know anyways?"
Jess turned to glance at his friend after a couple moments of silence and Ben looked back with a hint of uncertainty. It almost looks like he believes Jess, but doesn't want to accept it. Tilting the bottle to his lips, Ben mumbles, "Yeah, maybe."
With his coffee cup in hand, Jess leans back on the sofa next to Ben and also silently contemplates what he just said. He looks out the window and stares at nothing in particular—both of them just listening to the ticking of the clock that hangs on the wall. With a deep sigh Ben questions, "Do you really believe that?"
Jess clears his throat and blinks a couple of times to get that awkward dryness out and asks, "Believe what?"
"That there isn't someone out there for everyone?"
Jess doesn't answer him; mainly because he doesn't know how to and mostly because he can't bring himself to say anything. Instead, he glances at his black coffee and takes another sip.
(Flashback)
Jess sits at a darkened kitchen table in the early morning with a cup of black coffee in hand with the newspaper laid out in front of him. He leisurely turns the page and takes another sip. He seems peaceful and content; he stops reading for a second to just absorb the moment. A warm pair of arms encircles his waist and he closes his eyes to enjoy the touch. The arms pull back and Rory settles in on his lap and looks at him with a curious smile playing across her lips. She opens her mouth to speak, but instead Jess closes the gap between them and kisses her gently while toying with the light gray shirt that she wears. She sighs into their kiss and he smiles while taking his time exploring her mouth. They break the kiss and she sits down on the chair across from him. She takes his coffee cup and takes a sip of it while rifling through the paper for the front page.
(End of flashback)
Jess shakes his head as if to do away with the memory and turns his head back to Ben, suddenly with question of his own. "What's the point of love anyways? If you don't have it—you're miserable. If you do have it—you'll be miserable because someone always ends up getting hurt. Some catch-22, huh? The one thing that everyone talks about, writes about, or sings about…it's just a bunch of bull. What's so great about love? Nothing lasts."
Ben reluctantly nods his head, finally seeing what Jess is talking about. Then they both release a sigh and continue to take sips of their beverages while still staring at nothing in particular. How ironic, they had forged a friendship due to their loner personalities, but in the end they still remain alone…together.
AN: Thanks for reading. By the next chapter, you will be able to see why I've said this is going to be different than the other stories where Jess and Rory will be reunited and then they're stuck working together. Drop a line!