Buffy stared at the yellow eyes in horror. She couldn't believe that this was happening. Where did the beautiful brown eyes go that she was staring at a minute ago? Angel stared at her with the same shock showing on his vampire features until he growled and ran away.

Buffy finally managed to stop screaming. She stood with a dazed expression on her face, trying to take everything in. Angel wasn't a vampire. He couldn't be a vampire. He was handsome, and sweet, and mysterious, and it wasn't possible.

"Buffy!"

Buffy looked up to find Xander running towards her. "What's going on? I heard the screaming. Are you okay? What happened?"

Buffy blinked a couple of times in rapid succession; "I'm okay."

Xander didn't look at all convinced. "Who was that?"

Buffy blushed and looked away. "No one."

"Did he hurt you? If he did, I swear I'll make him pay."

Buffy laid her hand on his shoulder. "Xander! I'm the slayer! I can take care of myself."

Xander looked at her through heavy lids. "Who was that?" he repeated.

"No one!"

"You keep saying that. And yet I don't think it was no one."

"It was a vampire okay? A vampire that I have to go. I have to go."

"Kill?" Xander said forcefully.

"NO! I mean, yes! I have to. to. to kill him." Buffy felt herself start to tremble. "It's my job," she said in a whisper, "to kill vampires."

"Then why did you kiss him?"

Buffy's mouth dropped. "*You* saw that? How could you waltz in here and pretend that you didn't know what was going on when you *saw* what happened?"

"I saw you kissing a guy that you were supposed to be killing! What was I supposed to do, Buffy? You're supposed to be the person saving our race!" Xander declared angrily. He couldn't believe what he had just seen. Never mind the fact that vampire were indeed real, she had just *kissed* one of them.

"I didn't know! I didn't know that he was a vampire, okay? If I'd know, I wouldn't have fallen in."

"Wouldn't have fallen in what?" Xander said in deathly tone.

Buffy narrowed her eyes at him and brushed past him angrily. "You know what? You don't know me! You don't have any right to say these things to me! THIS IS NONE OF YOUR GOD DAMNED BUSINESS!!!"

"FINE!" Xander yelled to her back, "I'M SORRY FOR COUNTING YOU AS ONE OF MY FRIENDS!"

Buffy turned around and ran so she wouldn't have to listen to any more of this argument. She kept going even when she knew that Xander couldn't see her anymore. She wouldn't admit it, but his last comment had stung. To know that she had been so close to having a friend that she had longed for. and then lose that chance. it hurt. She couldn't believe what had just happened to her life in the past couple of minutes.

She still wasn't positive about what happened. First she was talking to him. The magical, beautiful man, who had come into her life the day before, and had unknowingly changed it with one conversation. Then, she was kissing him, and it was like the world had stopped. And then the nightmare had started.

Could she kill him? Could she drive a stake through the heart of her sworn enemy? The man that made her pulse pound? She hoped so. Or else it would be too easy for her enemy to corrupt her.

But she couldn't get his angelic face out of her mind.





Angel paced his stateroom recklessly. He couldn't believe what he had just done. Kissing her? Kissing the slayer? Kissing his sworn enemy? It was against all laws of nature. Although, if Angel was given another chance he wasn't sure if he would do any of it differently.

Kissing her had been like a warm balm to his heart. Angel hadn't known that it could be possible for himself to care for anyone since he had become a vampire. And then she walked into his life. He remembered seeing her when she was called. She had been a regular girl then, rich, pretty, and figured that the only reason for life was to marry and bear children. Even then, Angel knew that there had been something different about her. Her soul had called out to him, and told him what a fiery, good, warm person that she was.

And in that moment Angel had fallen in love.

He watched her kill her first vampire. He knew about her fear and confusion that had went along with the kill, and he had longed to help her. But despite a soul deep longing to be by her side and fight with her, Angel had waited, but when he heard about the voyage across seas that she was making to America, he had seized the opportunity.

No. If Angel had known that he would lose control over his demon, he would have still kissed her. Buffy Anne Summers was one temptation that not even he could resist.

He just hoped that there was some way to prevent her from killing him before he got a chance to explain.





"There is absolutely no way for a vampire to be good? No way?" Buffy asked hopefully.

Giles shook his head. "As far as I know it isn't possible."

Buffy felt her heart sank. As far as Giles knew was very far. There was almost nothing in this world that Giles didn't know about. She couldn't believe it. She was really going to have to kill him.

"Buffy, why didn't you tell me about this sooner?"

Buffy hesitated. How was she supposed to tell him that she had never thought for one minute that Angel was her enemy? Even when she had been sneaking up on him, she hadn't really thought that he was evil. Forgetting the vampire part, Buffy wasn't sure how she could tell Giles that she thought that something was going well in her life, and she had been afraid of ruining it by telling him.

"I didn't know that he was a vampire until I. well, you know." Buffy mumbled.

Giles frowned, "As the slayer you should be able to sense these things."

Buffy sighed. Her nerves were too worn down, and she had been through too much in the past little while. "I know. *I KNOW.* Look, I know you're disappointed in me, but let's just get this over with okay?"

Giles looked at her with concern. "I am disappointed, Buffy. I wouldn't expect you to show such poor judgment on something like this."

"Something like falling in love?"

Giles was silent and Buffy looked at him hard, not breaking her gaze. He blinked and started cleaning his glasses, trying to look anywhere but at Buffy's face. "I'm sorry," he said a bit gruffly. "I just don't see why you didn't mention it. him sooner."

Buffy shrugged. "I tried, Giles. I really tried."

He gave a little smile, more for her benefit than for his own. "Yes," he said remembering their conversation on the deck earlier that day, "I suppose that you did."

"I have to kill him don't I?"

Giles looked at his slayer with sad eyes. "It's your job."

Buffy took a deep breath, "I know."

"Is there anything that I can say?"

Buffy shook her head.

Giles sighed.





Buffy took a deep calming breath. She had come outside for some air and a chance to clear her brain. She was starting to think that if she stayed inside with Giles and his books any longer than she would go a little insane.

Angelus. That was his true name. He was known as the Scourge of Europe because of being one of the most brutal vampires ever. Fifty years ago he seemed to have disappeared off the face of the earth and was presumed dead.

Yesterday he had shown up on a ship called the 'Titanic'.

Buffy groaned. Soon dawn would break and she wanted to get her job over and done with. She wouldn't let Angelus kill any more people. It was her fault that he was still alive and out there, and she was going to perform her job. No matter what it cost her to do so.

"Buffy."

Buffy frowned and turned around to see where her name had come from. She found Xander and Willow staring at her with big guilty eyes. Buffy gave them a small tight smile and gave a fleeting moment of hope that they might actually want to talk to her after all she had put them through that day.

"Look, Buffy," Xander said guardedly, "I'm sorry about what I said today. Maybe I over-reacted. Things are just a little crazy up in my head I can't even imagine what it must be like to live your life."

Willow nodded. "I don't know about Xander, but if there's anything that you would like us to do to, you know, help or something, I'm always here."

Buffy felt her eyes get a little moist. Was it possible? Could people really care about her? Could she really be the slayer and still have a normal life? "Thanks. That means more to me than either of you can ever know."

"What would you like us to do?" Willow asked.

Buffy frowned. Now that she had help, she wasn't sure what she should do with it. "Um, research, I guess. The perks of slaying."

Willow's eyes lit up. "Research? I'm good at research!"

"You're a strange girl, Will." Xander gave his best friend a funny look.

Willow shrugged and looked at Buffy. "I *like* knowledge."

Xander nodded. "Strange."

Buffy raised her eyebrows.

Xander rubbed his hands together eagerly. "So, where do we start?"





Willow put down the book that she was looking through, "What was it like when he kissed you?" she asked, not being able to contain herself.

Buffy gave her a weird look, "I'm guessing that Xander told you about that."

Willow leaned forward eagerly, "He may have mentioned it.."

Buffy laughed. "Okay. Busted."

"So, what was it like? Was it nice? Did you get shiveries? Oh! Did he have bad breath? I mean, being a vampire and all-"

"Willow!" Buffy cut in sharply.

Willow blushed sheepishly. "Sorry."

Buffy grinned, "It's okay. Actually, the kiss was more than okay. It was unbelievable."

Willow grinned getting into it. "Unbelievable?"

Buffy nodded and closed her eyes, "I wish that..."

"You wish what?" Willow prodded.

Buffy looked hopeful for a minute, but then she shook her head. "It doesn't matter."

"I'm sorry, Buffy."

"Don't be. He's evil. An evil vampire. And I'm good. Good wins over evil."

"I could kill him for you if you want," Willow offered hopefully. She felt so bad for her new friend. Plus, she knew what it was like to really care for someone. She couldn't imagine ever being asked to harm Xander.

"S'okay. Somehow I think I'd feel even more guilty than now if he killed you."

Willow gave a forced laugh. "Vampires can't be *that* hard to kill. Can they?

"*Yes* they *are* that hard to kill, Willow, so don't try anything stupid," Buffy warned.

Willow gave a little pout and was about to protest about how strong she actually was when Xander appeared beside her. Her heart gave a little leap, and she unconsciously ran a hand through her hair.

"This isn't getting us anywhere! What exactly are we researching anyway?" Xander snapped.

Buffy shrugged, "I don't know."

"That's because you're reading the book upside down," Willow pointed out.

Buffy gave a sheepish smile. "Right. That could be kind of problematic."

Xander sighed. "Look, whatever. It's not that I have any real problems with sitting around an English guy's stateroom all night, but I need to start working in a few hours and we haven't found anything that's going to help you kill Angel."

Buffy looked down and tried her best to get a handle on her emotions. She knew that there wasn't really any point in hanging around Giles' stateroom. She already *knew* how to kill a vampire. She didn't have to research it.

"You're right."

Xander looked surprised. "I am? I mean, I am!"

Willow looked at Buffy in worry, "Are you going to be okay?"

Buffy fixed Xander with an angry glare. "I'll kill him, if that's what you're asking."

"No, I mean. are you.." Willow trailed off when she realized it was useless. Buffy had already left. She glared at Xander, "That wasn't very nice of you."

He looked a little offended. "It's not that I'm not worried about her, but what can she really feel for this guy anyway? She doesn't even know him! It will be much safer for all of us once she kills him."

"And maybe you're just jealous," Willow whispered.

Xander opened his mouth to reply when the door opened and Giles walked into his room, carrying a tray of tea. He frowned as he looked around. "Where's Buffy?"



"Come out, come out, wherever you are." Buffy whispered to the darkness.

"You know that usually works better for cats."

Buffy spun around, angry at herself for letting him sneak up on her. "Yeah, well, I was never a traditional slayer."

Angel eyed her wearily. "Apparently," he said dryly.

Buffy lifted her chin up in indignation. He was not going to get to her. She wasn't going to let his stupid comments bug her. He was evil. He was a vampire. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Angel shrugged, "Whatever you take it to mean."

"Oh, so it could mean I'm going to kill you?" Buffy asked perkily. She could swear that she saw a flash of hurt in his eyes, and she mentally cursed herself for feeling bad about it.

"Fine," he answered evenly, "kill me."

Buffy almost dropped her stake in surprise. "What?"

"Kill me," he repeated. "It's your job isn't it? To kill vampires?"

Buffy held up her stake and took a step towards him. "I'm the slayer."

"So slay."

"Fine!"

"What are you waiting for?"

"Nothing!"

"I'm completely defenseless. You should take this chance now that you have it."

"Shut up!"

Angel vamped out and sneered at her. "Come on, Buffy, I would have expected more from you."

Buffy moved closer to him and pressed the tip of her stake to where his heart would have beat if he'd been human. She took a deep breath and urged herself to get this over with. But she made a mistake. She looked up at the last minute. She found herself looking into his eyes. Yellow, glaring, feral eyes.

Yellow, glaring, feral, *human* eyes.

Buffy took a step back in surprise and dropped her stake without even realizing it. "You're different," she mumbled, still staring into his eyes.

Angel gulped and let his human visage return. He cast his eyes down to the ground, embarrassed at letting her see that. "I'm a vampire."

Buffy took a step closer, knowing that this could cost her life. "Look at me!"

Angel lifted his head and stared into Buffy's deep green eyes. He took a deep shaky breath. She had learned what he was and yet she was still here. Angel didn't understand why, nor was he sure that he wanted to. "I was one of the most vicious vampires of my time. 100 years of mass murdering for the sheer pleasure of it. I thrived off people's terror, like an ambrosia. Every time I killed someone, I made it more cruel than the time before. And then I killed the wrong girl."

Buffy took his hand and gave it a squeeze. Angel looked surprised at the contact, but Buffy just smiled reassuringly. "She was part of a gypsy clan and as punishment they gave me back my soul."

Buffy frowned, "What?"

"When a person becomes a vampire they lose their conscious. There is no remorse, no guilt. It's an easy way to live. You have no idea what it is like to have done the things that I've done and to care."

Buffy looked at the ground, not quite sure what he wanted her to say. Angel nodded and steeled himself to walk away. It had been stupid thinking that she could care for a creature such as himself. He had to be the grown-up and walk away.

Buffy looked up in time to see his retreating back. "What, that's it? You dump that on me and then walk away?"

Angel stopped, but didn't turn. "It's better this way."

"How would you know that? I mean, here I am trying to get over the fact that I don't need to kill the man that I've fallen in love with, and all you can say is that it is better this way???"

"Fallen in love with?"

Buffy's eyes widened. "Hey! No fair! No taking words out of my mouth! I never said that!"

"Yes, you did. You said the man that I've fallen in lo-"

"Whatever! It doesn't matter what I said! Just *stop* *running* *away*!"

Angel sighed and turned around. "Buffy you're the slayer, and I. I'm a vampire."

"A vampire with a soul."

"That doesn't make me any less of a vampire. Plus, I didn't lie before, I *am* older than you."

Buffy shrugged. "So? Everyone knows marrying an older rich man is considered lucky. Are you rich?"

Angel closed his eyes. "Buffy that isn't the point."

Buffy glared at him and walked closer. "You started stalking me first. You started this relationship and you're *not* going to end it."

Angel unconsciously took a step forward. "They pretty much left out manners during your upbringing, didn't they?"

Buffy sniffed. "I'm very ladylike."

Angel smiled. "Sure you are."

"Careful who you insult. I'm the slayer, remember?"

"How could I forget? You nearly stabbed a stake through my unbeating heart."

"Only because *you* told me to!"

Angel took another step forward. "250."

"What?"

"I'm almost 250 years old."

Buffy stopped mid-step. "You're what???"

"Older than you."

Buffy looked frozen. "Yeah, I'm getting that," she mumbled.

Angel gave her a small sad smile. "I'm sorry."

Buffy folded her arms over her chest and tried not to let her disappointment show. "How old were you when you died?"

Angel bit his lip. "Good-bye, Buffy."

Buffy blinked back tears and stared at Angel's back in shock for the second time that night. They had been so close. So close, and yet so far. Buffy was surprised at how much she wanted to feel him against her again. His lips against hers, his hands in her hair. She closed her eyes and wished that he was just a normal human being and they could start all over again. Buffy watched him go and made a decision.

She ran after him.

She grabbed his arm and pulled him around to face her. "Stop walking away from me!"

Angel looked at her in surprise and before Buffy could say anything else she found his lips on hers. The kiss was warm and tender. Buffy gasped when she felt Angel's hands on her back and through her hair. He pulled away and looked deeply in her eyes.

"Are you okay? I'm sorry, I shouldn't ha-"

Buffy pushed her lips against his, silencing his outburst. She felt his tongues enter her mouth and Buffy eagerly met it with her own, in a sweet dance. She wrapped her arms around his neck in an effort to keep him there. Her blood was rushing and her heart was pounding and Buffy couldn't remember a time when she had felt like this.

When they pulled away, Buffy was gasping for breath. "Yep, I'm fine."

Angel nodded, also out of breath. "That was.."

"Amazing," Buffy muttered. "How can something so bad feel so good?"

Angel chuckled. "Whoever said this was bad?"

"Well, I don't know. I just figured that with the whole me being a slayer, and you being a vampire, we were breaking a lot of rules." Buffy said.

"Who's rules?"

Buffy raised her hands in the air. "I don't know, okay! I just know that you are making me feel things that I've never felt before! And I don't want you to walk away! I want you to stay and tell me I'm beautiful, and hold me in your arms, with occasional kisses.. And help me now, before I embarrass myself even more!"

Angel smiled. "I think you're beautiful when you're babbling."

Buffy leaned against him, and Angel enfolded the slayer in his arms like it was the most natural thing in the world. "That's not a bad start."

Angel kissed the top of her head. "You always look beautiful."

Buffy blushed. "Okay, *now* you're just embarrassing." Buffy marveled at the way that she fit against him, like they were made to be together. "This feels right. I've only known you for a day, and it feels like."

"Much longer," Angel finished thinking back to the first time that he had seen her.

"We're even finishing each other's sentences. God, we'd make the most annoying couple."

"Is that what you want? To be a couple?"

"Why? Are you saying that you don't want." Buffy gulped, "to be with me?"

"No, I didn't mean that. I just want to make sure that you're happy." Angel said.

Buffy turned around and cupped his face in her hands. "Angel, you're all I've thought about since I've met you. When I thought that I would have to kill you, it hurt more than I thought was possible. If you tell me you want to be mine, you'll be making me the happiest girl alive."

Angel leaned forward and captured her lips in a searing kiss. "I'll never let you go," he vowed.

TBC