Disclaimer: Star trek voyager belongs to paramount. I have no more to say on the matter.

Note: If you like the voyager universe the way that it is, without any twists being added to it, not only are you very narrow minded and a pathetically sad person, but you should also stop reading about now.

V

Chapter 5: Against family tradition

Outside the ground was sprinkled with snow. There had been more that morning, but the sun had melted much of it away. Under the trees though where the sun could not reach, the snow was just as thick as it had been in the morning.

The cabin was surrounded by trees that looked as if they had just been sprinkled lightly with icing sugar. Although it was cold outside, the cabin was warmed by a log fire; the logs were stacked neatly to one side of the cabin. From the front door was a small path that led down the side of a shallow hill and onto a relatively disused road.

Most of the year the cabin was unused, but the smoke coming from the chimney indicated that someone was there. Kathryn Janeway lay comfortably across the sofa reading a book, relishing in the warmth from the fire. Unlike many modern heating systems the warmth from the fire was a lot more refreshing, she didn't know why, but it was a welcome change to the usual perfectly heated apartments in San Francisco.

The cabin was comfortably small, there wasn't a lot of space that was unused, but it wasn't so small that furniture did not fit inside properly to make it look cluttered. In her opinion it was perfect the way that it was, and she wouldn't change a thing about it.

There were two bedrooms, that led into the main room, which consisted of living area and kitchen. The bathroom had been added to the building in the past few decades, whereas before it had been necessary to walk across a path that led from the back door to get to an outhouse. A very welcome improvement to the cabin.

A piano stood against a wall, although it was old it had been taken good care of, and recently tuned, so that no note sounded in the slightest off against others. Not far from the piano were three guitars lined up next to each other carefully and neatly; two were vintage but in almost perfect condition, and the third, the steel strung acoustic, had been delicately and painfully hand made.

Bored with reading Kathryn laid the book down on the sofa and sat up. She turned to see Tad emerge from his bedroom, engrossed in a piece of paper. With out taking his eyes off the sheet he walked effortlessly across the room, and sat in the arm chair by Kathryn. Folding the paper delicately in half he allowed it to fall to the floor, he watched it's gradual decent before looking up.

"How long did you tell Chakotay you'd be away for?" he asked sitting back in his chair and watching the flames of the fire.

"You mean how much longer will you have to put up with me?" she smiled.

"I'll tell you when you start to piss me off," he faced her and gave a quirky grin. She briefly returned the smile, before the smile faded from her face, and her gaze turned towards the fire. She didn't seem to be looking at the fire at all though, but instead her mind was concentrated on other things. "Are you going to tell me what's wrong, or am I going to have to guess, and decide by your reaction to what's wrong?" Tad's British accent seemed more defined than usual.

Kathryn looked up at him, and smiled weakly. There were very few secrets that her and Tad had from each other, there was no need for either of them to keep secrets from each other. "It's nothing," she was exhausted from people asking her that question.

"Okay then, let me guess," he started, "could it have something to do with Chakotay?"

"I'm not playing this game Tobias," she turned away from him picking up her book.

"Ah, so it does," Tad lifted a finger to his chin and pretended to think hard, making it obvious that he had already guessed, "does it have something to do with, humm, me?"

"Don't place yourself at the centre of every situation honey, it's not good for you to think that you're the most important person in the universe, because you're not." She said sarcastically, although there was some truth behind the words. He did have a habit of putting himself in every situation and blaming himself for everything bad about it.

"Why don't you just tell him?" Tad whined slightly, solving the whole situation as simply as it could possibly be solved.

"I don't know," Kathryn was once again serious. "I guess I didn't tell him at first because I didn't trust him; he was marquis, I was a Starfleet captain. But then," she paused, sighing slightly, "when I did start to trust him, I couldn't tell him because then he would feel like I hadn't trusted him and telling him would have caused too many problems."

"And now it's got to a point where you don't want to tell him, because you think that you'll lose him," Tad finished what she was saying.

She smiled at the younger man sitting opposite her, he had a way of knowing exactly what she was thinking. Feeling that he had removed some of the weight from her shoulders by sharing it, he got up from the chair and crossed the room, picking up a guitar and sitting down with it on the stool to the piano.

He would be there for hours playing away on his guitar. She loved listening to him play, even if it was just him making the same mistakes over and over again, it was still a joy to hear him practice, gradually getting better, determined to get it perfect, until he could play it fluently.

Tad had only been seventeen when Kathryn had destroyed the array, a decision that still haunted her, as it had stranded her in the delta quadrant for seven years. Not that it was all bad though, she had met Chakotay, and B'Elanna, and made so many other friends that she knew she would never have made if she had have been in the Alpha quadrant.

At twenty four Tad had already gained a PHD in medicine, and had spent the first year of his qualification on Cardassia helping to rebuild the planet, something Kathryn was very proud of him for; not only was he helping people in need but he had put a prejudice behind him that very few people would have been able to do.

Against family tradition he was uninterested in Starfleet, and had turned down many opportunities offered to him to join, she guessed he was half scared that he may be promoted and be responsible for hundreds of lives twenty four hours of every day, for long periods of time. She didn't really blame him.

"Mum," Tad placed a hand on the strings of his guitar, and turned to face Kathryn, "do you love him? Chakotay I mean."

She smiled at him and nodded slightly, "yes. Why?"

He bit his lip and nodded to himself, "no reason, just wandered," shrugging his shoulders he returned his full attention to playing his guitar.

V

Again Chakotay woke up in the middle of the night, drenched in sweat. He had for the past few nights, he was unable to remember his dream, but woke up with the feeling the dream had left.

This night, although the dream he had had was unclear, he knew it was the same one as the other nights. He sat up in his bed, "lights" he said without thinking, and was rewarded with a blinding light, "dim lights to twenty percent," he instructed the computer with a hand shielding his eyes.

The computer dimmed the lights, but it still took a few more seconds for his eyes to become accustomed to the light. Initially he thought of calling Kathryn or B'Elanna, but quickly remembered that Kathryn would be asleep at this time, and B'Elanna wasn't even on the planet, and he had no idea what time B'Elanna was keeping to. Besides, he thought to himself, they were just dreams, he didn't want to bother anyone with something so tedious.

After finding that he was unable to sleep he got dressed and left his apartment deciding that a night walk in the city would be a good idea.

Very few people were out on the streets at such an early hour, there was the odd person dressed in Starfleet uniform walking to or from a night shift, and several young people that had spent the night clubbing, or taking 'educational' visits to pubs, that were now winding down after the night and going back home with the promise of a hangover the next morning.

It was about four in the morning, and very few places were open. Eventually Chakotay turned a corner to see that a small coffee shop was either just opening or had been open all night, thinking that he could do with a cup of coffee he went inside.

The place was almost empty except for a few people dotted around. Two were dressed in Starfleet uniforms, and were sitting together talking quietly, the table covered in padds. A man sat reading a paper in one corner, the only time he moved was to take a sip from a mug. Finally a Vulcan sat by himself at a table, reading. Chakotay sat down himself and within moments he was approached by a man waiting to take his order.

Outside light was beginning to pour into the streets, where it would eventually warm them, and people would begin waking, and start their days. Chakotay had already started his day, and sitting by himself he was beginning to wish that he had brought some work to occupy his mind. So instead he concentrated his mind on just thinking, about nothing and everything in particular.

When his coffee arrived, he realised that something was missing, and quickly realised that coffee would never be quite right if he wasn't drinking it with Kathryn, or wasn't telling Kathryn that she shouldn't drink so much of it.

She had gone away a week ago saying that she was visiting family, and had called him four times since she had been away, but had never left a contact address, saying that she might not be there when he called, and it was easier for her to call him.

Lost in his own thoughts he didn't hear the man walk into the coffee shop, and sit down at the table next to him, or even order a coffee. It wasn't until the man had spoken to him that he looked up.

"Do you think?" Chakotay replied when the man had told him the weather looked promising.

"Yeah, when you live in a place for long enough, it becomes predictable," he totally made up. Chakotay smiled. "You having bad dreams?" the man who had yet to introduce himself asked.

Chakotay looked across at the man, now not quite so certain he wanted to talk with him. "Yes," he answered honestly, "how did you guess?"

"It was in your logs," the man answered, taking a sip of coffee, and pulling a face at the richness of the beverage.

"I beg your pardon," Chakotay's voice was restrained, but he didn't want to jump to any conclusions.

The man shrugged, "you said in your logs that you were having bad dreams that you couldn't remember the details of."

"Who the hell are you?" Chakotay raised his voice, and was now standing up, leaning across the table at the man in front of him.

Paul, unaffected by Chakotay's stance shrugged his shoulders, "does that really matter?"

Suddenly aware that he was causing a scene Chakotay decided to leave the coffee shop. He shot Paul a look of disgust before heading towards the door. "I wouldn't even bother if I were you," Paul stated calmly after him, "the doors are looked."

Chakotay turned, fists clenched, "who the hell are you?" he demanded.

Paul smiled, "my name is Paul, remember that when Kathryn asks you."

"Asks me what?" Chakotay headed towards Paul ready to permanently disfigure the man.

"Who did this to you." Paul smiled wickedly as the holographic waiter held a hypospray to Chakotay's neck, and injected him. He fell heavily to the ground.

V

End of chapter 5.