Disclaimer: Star trek voyager belongs to paramount. Please don't sue, I'm a student and therefore have no money for you to take from me. But Paramount, if you are actually reading this, and you have read other pieces of fan fiction on this site, then maybe you have learned that the whole Chakotay/seven thing really wasn't the best of moves.

'When walking this world of social mines

Keep fallen friends, don't leave them behind

As when you fall, and it's certain you will

They will pick you up, as they'll be with you still

And most important to remember of lines

Is make peace, love and groovy times'

V

Chapter 6: Apology

There was a knock at the door. Tad sat at the piano not really thinking about the knock at the door, he scribbled something else onto a piece of paper. The knock sounded again, he heard the sound, but didn't really put two and two together.

Something had distracted him from writing, he looked up, just as the knock sounded for a third time, this time he did recognise that someone was at the door. Taking his time, he placed the papers neatly on the top of the piano, and got up from his seat, and walked over towards the door.

Tad and Kathryn had been staying in the cabin for a little over a week. Tad treasured the time that he had with his mother, as he never knew when he was going to see her again. The last time they had seen each other, had been seven years ago, and it would probably be months before he saw her again, the next time that they separated.

It had been like that years before Kathryn had taken up a command position aboard voyager, ever since she had been given the rank of lieutenant. He had gone to a boarding school in England from the age of eleven, which was where he had acquired his British accent. Even though for the six years he had gone there, Kathryn had been only a few days away from Earth at most times, he hadn't even see her every holiday, as he often went to stay with his grandmother.

Somehow though, Tad still felt very close to Kathryn, even after months apart they would easily catch up, and quickly slip back into the rolls of mother and son. Even this time, after years apart, days after Tad's return to Earth from Cardassia they had been able to pick up from where they had left off.

Tad opened the door to the cabin. A tall man, about his height, with sandy brown hair and hazel eyes that, although strong, now seemed somewhat sorrowful, stood in front of him. The man was in his late forties, and was starting to show it, with his hair greying at the edges, and lines appearing faintly on his face.

"Raphael," Tad said, distinctly blocking the doorway with his own body. He waited for the man to say something; he had nothing to say to him that he knew he wouldn't regret.

"Tad," Raphael smiled weakly, "I'm here to see your mother, is she in?"

Tad paused, "no," he said, studying Raphael, "why?" his voice slightly bitter.

"I need to speak to her about something, will she be back here anytime soon?"

"Yes," he rarely lied, and couldn't be arsed to this time, "in an hour or so, she went hiking."

"Ah," Raphael stood awkwardly at the door entrance.

"I'd invite you in," Tad started, "but I don't like you, and I don't think that my mum really wants to see you, let alone speak to you, or hear anything that you have to say." Tad hated the tone of his own voice, but he hated Raphael more, and wasn't afraid to say so.

"Tad, I know that you're still angry with me, and I can't really blame you, I'm still angry with myself, but I really do need to speak to Kathryn."

In their sharp and splintered talk to one another in the door way, they didn't hear the foot steps coming up the path towards the cabin. They didn't even realise her stand there listening to their conversation. It was only when Kathryn spoke that either of them actually noticed.

"Tad, I think that I can make my own decisions on whether or not I want to speak people." Her voice broke their conversation, Raphael turned around sharply, Tad merely turned his head slowly in her direction.

Kathryn's shock at seeing Raphael was halved at seeing the shock on his face when he realised that she had been standing behind him. Putting on the captain's mask, she walked up to the door, "well you'd better come in then," she said to Raphael.

Tad stood back from the doorway allowing them both to enter. Sensing that they might want to talk privately he offered to go to his room. "What, so you can listen in?" Kathryn half accused her son, "no, go for a walk or something."

Raphael hovered awkwardly by the sofa, debating whether or not to sit. "Mum!" Tad started to argue back, he motioned with his head in Raphael's direction, "are you sure you want me to leave you alone with him?" Tad spat out the last word.

"Tobias, I'm not giving you an option," she put a hand on Tad's shoulder, "I promise if things get nasty, I'll try not to injure Raphael too severely," she said in a hushed sort of mock voice, so that only he could hear.

Nodding slowly in defeat, Tad grabbed his jacket from a peg by the door, "I'll be back in half an hour," he said, and then quietly in his mother's ear he whispered "that's not what I'm worried about." Taking one last look at Raphael he left the cabin, closing the door loudly as he left.

Relaxing a little with Tad gone, Raphael attempted a nervous smile. "Don't think for one moment I've forgiven you," Kathryn quickly put him in his place, with an edge to her voice, and just as quickly the smile diminished.

"Kathryn," Raphael sat down submissively, "I don't even know where to begin with how sorry I am."

"Then don't." Her voice was cold, a lot colder since Tad had left. Suddenly he wanted Tad back, at least then she would try to appear okay with his presence there. "Raphael," she placed a hand on the head of the armchair, and another on her hip, "is there a reason why you're here? It would be nice if you could get to the point and then leave."

He didn't like it when she was like this, he never had. When they used to argue, she had rarely shouted at him, but would turn very cold and sarcastic. Sometimes he wished that she had have shouted at him, he wished that she would shout at him now, he deserved it. But instead she kept perfectly composed, with resent towards him buried within each word she spoke to him. "It's about Paul," he said.

Kathryn felt like slapping his forehead in frustration, yes, she thought, if you're here to tell me that Paul has been hacking into computer systems then I already know! Instead she shifted her weight slightly and nodded, "yes." she waited for him to elaborate.

"I think that he might be planning some sort of revenge against you, from what I know, I think that it has something to do with your commander from voyager, I think his name is Chakotay."

"Yes, that's his name. What do you know?" Some of the hatred that she had been feeling for Raphael moments ago, now shifted to concern for Chakotay.

"I'm not sure exactly, but I'm guessing something to do with MRT, I could be wrong, but I know Paul well enough to think the way that he thinks. Has he any basis for using MRT on Chakotay do you think?"

Kathryn's piercing gaze had left Raphael, and now gazed somewhat distantly into the fireplace. "Kathryn?" he prompted, wandering whether or not she had heard him.

"Yes," she nodded slowly.

Not sure if she was answering the question, or responding to her name, he asked her again if there was any basis for Paul to be using MRT on Chakotay.

Not really answering his question, she asked if he would like a coffee, and within a few minutes they were both sitting down on the sofa with mugs of the beverage.

"How do you know any of this?" Kathryn's voice was no longer bitter, but he was still walking on egg shells; the pain that he had caused her was still there, and he didn't want to open up any healing wounds.

"I still have my contacts," he admitted, looking shyly at the ground. Realising that he had told her everything that he could about Paul, he felt it was the right time to change the subject. "I'm sorry," he said something that he had been meaning to say for thirteen years.

Kathryn nodded slowly, it sounded like he really meant it. "I'm not ready to forgive you, and even if I was, I don't know how I would forgive you Raphael." The honesty felt somewhat liberating.

"Forgiveness takes time," he said plainly, "I don't deserve for you to forgive me for what I did, Tad still hasn't, but I'm hoping that maybe over time-" he looked at her, their eyes locked. Any feelings that he thought he had long since lost for her, came back, and the guilt he felt for hurting her doubled. "There are a lot of things that we should probably talk about."

"I'm not ready to talk," she interrupted.

"I know, but when you are."

She nodded. At that moment the cabin door opened, and Tad stumbled in. They both looked up at him as he stood in the door way facing their direction with a hand covering his eyes. They watched as he slowly parted his fingers and squinted with one eye through the gap, and then proceeded to remove his hand from his face. "Sorry," he said, "I wasn't sure what I was going to walk in on."

Raphael smirked slightly, as Kathryn furrowed her eyebrows. Digging himself into a hole he went on to explain. "Well, I figured you'd either have killed one another, or be passionately making out on the sofa, which would probably be worse, but equally disturbing." Kathryn smirked slightly at the way her son had put it.

Feeling that any moment Tad might chuck him out of the cabin, Raphael stood up to leave. "I would invite you to stay for dinner, I'm cooking of course," said Tad, "but I really do hate you."

For a moment it suddenly dawned upon Raphael how much alike Tad and Kathryn were, but then how different they were to each other at the same time; they were both very honest most of the time, and could be sarcastic in their honesty, but Tad was a lot more light hearted in his approach to things, in comparison with Kathryn. Smiling a little to himself, he turned to Kathryn, "I'll try and find out exactly what he's planning, and contact you if there are any developments."

She nodded, "your contacts I'm guessing," he hadn't changed that much, and her thought was confirmed when he nodded.

"I'll see you again some time then," he half asked.

"Maybe." Her voice still cold to him. Raphael shrugged, said good bye and left the cabin.

"I don't really want to know what the two of you talked about," said Tad, removing his jacket a while after Raphael had left the cabin, and Tad had watched him walk down the path. "But feel free to tell me, if you feel that telling me is necessary." He sat down on the sofa next to Kathryn where Raphael had just sat. But she didn't say anything, "I love you mum," he smiled in an attempt to break the atmosphere, and not really knowing what else to say.

Kathryn returned the smile, then her smile faded. "I've got to go back," she said, meaning that their time getting to know each other again after all of the years would soon be over.

Tad nodded, not letting his disappointment show too much. "I guessed," he said, "but not before dinner right?"

She smiled at his enthusiasm to spend every last moment with her. "I can stay for dinner," she eventually said, breaking into a full smile.

V

End of chapter 6.