A/N: Really. I meant to have this out by Sunday, but then I got all freaked
out because, duh, Sunday/Monday was the 90th anniversary of the sinking of
the 'Titanic'. So. Just to be on the safe side, not that I'm overly
superstitious, I waited a couple of days before posting this. Thanks for
all the great feedback! You're all great! And double thanks for being
patient for me for taking so long to update.
Buffy forced the panic she could feel bubbling in her throat down. She had been in dangerous situations before. She needed to stay calm and think levelly.
Not wanting to leave Angel's room for fear that he may come back when she wasn't there, Buffy dressed and cautiously opened the door to take a good look around. Everywhere, people were milling about in the halls.
"What's going on?" she asked a passerby, whom, she noticed, was wearing bright pink, silk pajamas.
Smiling a little, the middle-aged man patted her hand. "Don't worry, miss. Heard that it was nothing but a little iceberg. I'm sure that we'll be going on again in no time."
The man passed on, and Buffy felt her stomach bottom out. 'Nothing but an iceberg,' she thought hysterically. 'When did an iceberg become a little problem?'
The fact that no one looked even mildly worried only made Buffy more nervous. She wondered where Angel could have gone. Had something happened to him? *No.* Buffy pushed the thought out of her head… he was fine. He had to be fine.
Knowing that she couldn't stand still and do nothing, Buffy hurried towards her stateroom.
She fought off a wave of guilt and anger to find her mother standing outside her room, pacing back and forth with obvious worry. The moment that she saw her daughter, Joyce rushed over and enveloped Buffy in a crushing hug.
"Where have you been?" she demanded.
Buffy pulled away and took a deep breath of air. "I was just…" Buffy paused, she couldn't very well tell her mother what she had really just been doing. "I was just taking a walk."
Joyce sniffed. "At 11:30?"
Buffy shrugged. Looking her mother over, she realized with a jolt that she was wearing a life vest. "Mom, what's going on?"
Joyce looked down at her garment, and then back at Buffy with a weary look in her eyes. Sadly, she smoothed a strand of her daughter's hair back. "Get your vest from your room," she commanded softly.
Fear crept up her throat and Buffy pushed it down as best she could. "Why?"
Giles came up behind her. "It's merely a lifeboat drill, Buffy."
His calm voice reassured her. Hanging on to that hope, Buffy nodded and didn't ask the question that kept running through her head. Why were they having a drill at this time of night?
"Put something on under your vest, I don't want you to catch cold," Joyce said, her voice surprisingly firm
Blinking back tears, Buffy nodded again. Looking at Giles desperately, she whimpered, "Angel. I can't find him. What if something happened…." Choking on the words she looked pleadingly at her mother. "I couldn't stand it if something happened to him."
Joyce took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "It's going to be okay, Buffy. Go and put on your vest. Then we'll look for him."
"You promise?"
"I promise."
Though no one could tell by looking at his face, Angel was deeply troubled. He watched with a growing sense of unease as third class passenger played a game of catch with the large pieces of ice that seemed to litter the deck.
He'd been sleeping peacefully when a sense of danger had awoken him. Not wanting to awake the sleeping Buffy, he'd come outside to see what the problem was. He had come out just in time to see the iceberg hit them. As big as a large house, it had scared Angel more than he would like to admit.
Now people laughed and socialized around him like it was some form of entertainment. But he could feel it. The slight dip in the ship, the stillness of the engine, and the smell of fear the captain and his attendants had given off when they walked by.
The ship was sinking.
His vampire senses on over-drive, Angel knew it to be the truth. They were going down… and fast. An hour, maybe two, and all that was left on the 'Titanic' would be doomed to the frigid water of the Atlantic.
He had to find Buffy. And fast.
Buffy buttoned herself into the life vest as best she could, all the while being sure to hide some stakes in it… just in case. Her mother was tapping her foot impatiently when she finally emerged from her room.
Grabbing her hand, Joyce nodded at Giles and the three of them made their way up, towards the boat deck. Buffy couldn't help but let out a little shocked gasp when she spied the crewmen actually uncovering the boats.
Would they really have to do this? The ship was so warm, so large, so full of life… and the ocean, she shivered, the ocean was black. It was nothing. It didn't make sense.
Leaning over she looked at Giles who was wearing a troubled expression. "Just a drill, huh?"
He tried to smile at her. Failed miserably. "This ship is unsinkable," he managed to choke out.
Apparently, that's what most of the other passengers thought as well. Most of them milled about, still wearing their eveningwear underneath their life vests. Some were grumbling about having to be dragged from their warm beds in the middle of the night. Some were joking and laughing, like this was an everyday occurrence.
There was no panic. No worry. Everything was fine.
"Perhaps," Giles said to Buffy and Joyce, "they just need to put us into life boats in order to make the necessary repairs. I'm sure that we'll be back on the ship in no time."
Joyce nodded bravely and gripped Buffy's hand. "See? There's nothing to be afraid of, dear. We'll stick together."
Buffy looked around frantically, seeing plenty of people, but not the person that she wanted to see the most. "I don't know where Angel is."
Joyce gave her a reassuring smile. "If he's as wonderful as you say he is… then he'll find you."
Biting her lip to keep tears away, Buffy gripped her mother's hand. "I hope that you're right."
When the first boat was uncovered and the shrill cries of, "Women and children first!" rang out, Buffy got a sinking feeling in her gut.
It wasn't a drill.
Not many people stepped forward. The attendants demanded harshly for women and children, and when the boat was lowered, Buffy was sure that there were only eleven or twelve women on a boat that looked like it was made for seventy.
Giles nodded towards the boat that was being lowered into the ocean. "I think it would be best if you and your mother were to get on a boat right away."
Buffy shook her head. "I'll wait. I'm not leaving without you or Angel."
"We'll follow behind in another boat," Giles reassured softly.
Eye's blazing Buffy glared at him. "I'm waiting. I'm not leaving here until I have Angel by my side, and I won't hesitate to hurt anyone that tries and stops me."
"I'm waiting too." Joyce declared firmly.
Buffy stared at her in shock. "No, mom, get into a boat."
Joyce gave her daughter an incredulous look. "Don't be silly! If you think that I'm leaving this ship without you, you better guess again!"
"Mother!"
"I'm serious, Buffy," Joyce warned. "You're my only daughter. I'm not leaving here without you by *my* side."
Buffy was about to protest but the warning look in her mother's eye closed her mouth. Sighing, she wrapped her arms around herself. It was a cold night, and she dreaded the idea of going out into the Atlantic.
Slight panic rose in Angel's throat when he hurried to his stateroom to find that she wasn't there. Her scent still lingered freshly by, so he knew that he must have just missed her. Cursing himself inwardly, he fought off the wave of guilt that crashed into him when he thought about her waking all alone. Knowing that it wasn't the time for such thoughts, Angel pushed them out of his head and concentrated on finding her.
He didn't have any better luck trying to find her in her room. By this time, most people had been evacuated, and the hall was eerily silent. Silent, but for the sound of water that Angel's vampire hearing allowed him to hear the water pooling in the lower decks of the 'Titanic' and rapidly climbing the levels to where he was standing.
Closing his eyes, Angel did his best to block out the noises. His priority was to find Buffy. The only thing that mattered was that she got off the ship unharmed. Everything else… was just details.
He was sure that he had just missed her by minutes again, and he could clearly smell the fear that she had been giving off before she left for the boat deck. She was scared.
And he wasn't there to make her feel better.
Guilt rose in his throat, and his resolve to find her strengthened. Running, he sprinted down the hall, his only hope of finding her lay in concentrating on her scent when he reached the boat deck.
A sudden noise made him stop and, turning, he found a familiar figure huddled against a stateroom door, with his knees hugged against his chest. His life vest was sprawled on the floor next to his feet, as if cast away in disgust.
"Xander," Angel breathed.
Xander turned, and looked at him with haunted eyes. A mirthless laugh escaped his throat. "Figures. I'm going to spend the last minutes of my life with you."
Angel stared at him in confusion. "What are you doing here?"
"What are any of us doing here?" Xander replied as a non-answer.
Angel stared at him like he had grown two heads. He wondered why he was still standing here, since he was losing time looking for Buffy, but his conscience forced him to remain. "You *should* be out at the boat deck."
Another laugh came out of the young man. "Over one hundred years old… and, yet, so naïve."
Angel gave him a questioning look, then sighing turned his back, realizing that it was useless to try and talk to Xander when he should be looking for Buffy. "Whatever," he muttered.
Angel was halfway down the hall when Xander's voice rang out again. "It doesn't matter," he yelled, "you're not getting off this ship alive."
Turning, Angel glared at him. "Is that a threat?" he growled.
Xander gave a sick smile that had Angel cringing. "You just don't get it."
"Don't get what?"
"There aren't enough. No man over the age of sixteen is going to make it off the 'Titanic' alive."
Sick fear clogged in Angel's throat. "You don't know what you're saying."
"I do. I'm going to die tonight," Xander tried to smile again, but failed miserably. "I'm going to die tonight. I'm never going to see Willow again… I'm never going to win the girl of my dreams," he looked at Angel with pained eyes. "I'm never going to be able to make a fool of myself again."
Fear was replaced with dread. Dread, that he knew too well what Xander was talking about. "You don't know that," Angel said harshly. "Yes, the ship is sinking… but you can get off it. Go up to the boat deck."
Xander stood on wobbly legs. He reached down and fetched his life vest. Throwing it down the hall he smiled with satisfaction when Angel caught it. "You're going to need that."
"Xander… why?"
The haunted look returned to the youth's eyes. "There are three thousand people on this ship. It will be a stroke of luck if half that number manages to survive."
"There aren't enough life boats," Angel whispered with sudden realization. "Woman and children first…." A new fear crept into his eyes, "Buffy… I'm not going to leave this ship sitting next to her."
Xander nodded. "Obviously not as stupid as he looks."
"But… why? On a ship this size… why?"
He shrugged. "This ship is unsinkable… is it not?"
Angel looked at him with newfound sadness. "I'm sorry Xander. I've lived a long time… you… you don't deserve this."
Xander sighed and looked at the ground. "Don't I know it." Looking up at Angel, he held out two white pieces of paper in a shaky hand. "Could you… could you try and survive… for her? At least do it for Buffy. I think… I think she needs it."
Angel moved forward and took the two envelopes that Xander was holding. "Who are they for?"
Xander pointed to the thicker one. "That one's for my mom. Diane Harris. She was so excited when she found out I was going to be working on the grand 'Titanic." Faltering for a minute, Xander paused to collect himself before pointing to the thinner envelope. "For Willow. Tell her… tell her I'm sorry."
Angel nodded and grasped Xander's hand. "She okay?" he asked, his voice gruff.
"Yeah… I made sure that she was going to find a boat before coming back down here." Xander shook his hand. "I'm glad that she'll be okay. Buffy, too. I know that you'll make sure she gets into a boat."
Angel was suddenly reluctant to leave him. "Why don't you come? Try and get a boat… at least try."
Xander thought about it before shaking his head. "Naw. Too much work." Grinning he slapped Angel on the shoulder. "Getting sentimental for me, aren't ya? Well, that's okay. I guess we all know who the *real* man is."
"You're a brave man, Xander Harris."
He snorted. "If I wasn't practically pissing myself with fear… I'd agree with you a whole lot more."
Knowing he couldn't say anything more, and knowing Xander didn't want his pity, Angel turned and slowly made his way towards the Grand Staircase. Xander went in the opposite direction—toward the sounds of gurgling water.
"Where are you going?" Angel asked, without turning.
"My shipmates are here… somewhere. I'm not about to abandon them," Xander replied, still walking in the direction of certain doom.
Angel was filled with remorse at letting him go… and hopelessness knowing that he couldn't do anything but let him go.
Monday April 15th, 1912
Buffy had faced gruesome demons, she had spent nights in graveyards waiting for the dead to rise, and she had dusted her first vamp when she was only 15. Still, nothing in the world could have prepared her for this moment.
The same false cheer was still reflected in all the passenger's faces. It was just a drill. They would be back in their beds in no time at all. One person even had the guts to wander around asking if the safes were going to be opened, so she wouldn't have to leave all her jewelry behind.
Still, there were pale faces all around, and as the band started to play a mournful tune, people began to believe their words less and less.
"Woman and children first!" cried the crewmen, while still loading up the lifeboats with what seemed to be a very low number.
Joyce clung to her daughter's arm, as if to make sure she didn't go running off without her. "Do you want to go wait in the gymnasium?"
Buffy shivered. It was a chilly night. And the gymnasium looked so warm… she shook her head. "No I have to stay in case I see anyone I… Willow!"
Shaking herself out of her mother's grip, Buffy charged after the redhead who was in the process of getting onto a lifeboat. Before Willow could step in, Buffy grabbed her and pulled her into a crushing hug.
"Willow! I'm so glad that you're okay!" Buffy pulled back slightly and looked at her with relief. "I was so worried about you."
Willow tried to smile bravely but failed miserably. "I'm okay… I… Xander…"
Buffy felt a cold sense of dread. "What about Xander?"
Grabbing her hands, Willow looked at her. "Don't leave this ship without Angel."
"I wasn't planning on it."
"I'm serious, Buffy. Don't."
"What's going on?" Buffy managed to choke out.
Willow looked sadly at the lifeboat that she had been about to step into. It was slowly being lowered to the ocean. "I promised him that I would get on a boat."
Confused, Buffy followed her gaze and watched as the boat was lowered to the water. "Tell me again why that's a bad thing."
Willow thought about it before answering. "I've known Xander forever. My whole life. He's picked on me… been a complete moron to me… but he's always been there for me. He always stuck up for me. And he made me promise to get on a boat."
"Willow…"
"He made me promise to get on a boat without him." Fear shone in her eyes when Buffy looked at her. "I might never see him again."
Buffy shook her head. "Willow! You don't know that. I'm sure he's just making sure that everyone's getting off the ship fine. He'll get into a boat. You'll see him again."
The redhead's face softened at Buffy's obvious naiveté. Smiling a little for her sake, Willow just hugged her again. "Don't forget what I told you about Angel."
Buffy watched with obvious confusion as Willow gave her a little wave as she boarded the next boat that was uncovered. The crewman that had let her on gave Buffy a questioning look, and she shrugged moving back into the crowd.
Willow's warning jarred her. There was something the girl hadn't told her, and Buffy wished that she knew where it was. Finding her mother, she took her hand and led her into the gymnasium. "Stay."
Joyce raised her eyebrows. "What am I? A dog?"
"Mother, I'm serious. I'm going to find Angel." Buffy said with resolve.
"Then I'm coming with you," her mother declared.
Buffy put a forceful hand on her shoulder to restrain her movement. "No, mom, you're staying here. I'm going to find him. And I'm going to come back here to find you in the exact same place that I left you. Understand?"
"Buffy, dear, don't be si—"
"I'm not being silly," Buffy interrupted sharply. "I'm being sensible. I can't worry about both of you. Mom, I'm not leaving here until I find him. The more time you spend arguing with me, the more time we're wasting."
Joyce stared at her for a minute as if trying to decide whether or not it was worth it to argue. "Fine. I'll stay here."
Buffy managed a thin smile. "Thanks." Leaning up, Buffy pressed a kiss to her mother's cheek. "Wait for me."
Joyce nodded. "And Buffy?"
Buffy turned to look back at her with questions in her eyes.
"Find him, will you?"
"If it's the last thing I do," Buffy muttered under her breath.
As Buffy walked down the Grand Staircase, she couldn't help but notice the men that sat there; just drinking like it was a normal Monday morning. Again she got the feeling that these people knew something that she didn't.
'Why are they just sitting here?' she thought frantically. 'Why aren't they getting into a boat?'
It wasn't just a drill anymore… of that there was a general consensus. Giles was away trying to find out as much as he could. How long they had left, if there was a boat coming for them, and, finally, why the ship was sinking.
Buffy was halfway down the Grand Staircase when she saw *him* and all thoughts and worries vanished from her head as she ran down the last few steps and threw herself into his waiting arms.
Angel held her tight, rubbing her back and trying to soothe the immediate tremble that shook her body now that she had found him.
"Oh my god," Buffy cried, "I was so worried about you."
"I know," he whispered, "I'm sorry. I didn't want you to wake up like—"
Before Angel could finish his sentence, Buffy burst into tears. Pulling away from him she managed to slap him pitifully on the arm. Still, he couldn't help but cringe a little. She was the slayer after all.
"Don't do that to me again!" she yelped through her tears. "Do you know what it was like? I woke up… and you were gone… and the ship," her breath caught for a minute and she tried to stop her sobbing. "The ship is sinking."
Angel pulled her into his arms again. "I know, love, it's sinking."
Fearful, she looked at him, blinking her eyes furiously. "Are you sure?"
Angel thought of the constant roaring of water he could hear getting closer. He thought of the way that Xander had looked before they had parted ways. And he held her a little tighter. "The 'Titanic' is sinking."
"I knew there wasn't something right about this ship," Buffy muttered, her tears having slowed.
"I'm sorry," Angel said again.
"I know," she sniffed. "I just… I can't stand the thought of something happening to you. I… god Angel… I love you… so much."
Angel swallowed stiffly. "I love you, too."
She traced the curve of his face diligently, and looked at him with a small smile on her lips. "When I think about my life before I met you… I don't know how I did it. I don't think that I could live without you."
Angel closed his eyes, and pulled abruptly away from her. "You need to get into a boat."
Buffy stared at him with a worried frown on her face. "What is it?"
"Nothing." To reassure her, he grabbed her hand and led her towards the boat deck.
They were halfway up the Grand Staircase when Buffy stopped suddenly. "Oh my god," she mumbled, "Angel, the stairs…."
Angel didn't say anything. He knew what she meant. Even if he hadn't been a vampire with supernatural senses, he would have felt the tilt of the stairs.
Once they reached the boat deck, Buffy stopped suddenly and turned around to face him. "What's going on?" she asked sharply.
He avoided her eyes. "Nothing," he mumbled again.
Buffy shook her head beginning to get angry. "Don't lie to me, Angel," she hissed. "There's something that you're not telling me."
Angel stared at her helplessly. "Buffy… please…"
"You're scaring me," she took his hand and held it tightly. "First I'm awakened in the middle of the night by some noise… and then my lover is gone. Then I realize that something has hit the ship and my lover is still gone. Then suddenly we're all being EVACUATED and I still CAN'T FIND YOU! And then I do find you and I'm incredibly relieved because I NEED your support, but NO there's something going on and you WON'T TELL ME!" Buffy stood, breathing hard, tears threatening her vision.
Angel sighed sadly. "Buffy…" he murmured trying to pull her into his arms.
She pressed her hand to his chest. "No," she said firmly. "Not until you tell me what's going on."
Angel nodded. "Okay." Leaning forward, he couldn't help but press a small kiss to her lips.
"Angel!" she scolded. "Tell."
"I think," he began after considering her for a moment, "I'm not positive… but I'm pretty sure that there aren't enough lifeboats for everyone on the ship."
Buffy turned her head and looked at the lifeboat that was being filled up to maybe two thirds of its total capacity. New dread sprang to life in her stomach. "How many people won't be able to get off?" she whispered, mouth dry.
Angel followed her gaze and made a sound of disgust upon seeing the numbers in the boats. "Maybe… if we're really lucky… half will get to safety."
'Half?" Buffy thought in panic. 'HALF? On a ship this size???' "That's… that's crazy." Sudden fear crept into her ears when she realized the meaning of his words. It all made sense. The men drinking themselves to a frenzy and waiting patiently in their chairs, the words that Willow had said to her before. It all meant… it all meant that…. Buffy stared at Angel with a horrified expression.
"You… you're not going to be getting on a lifeboat."
TBC
Buffy forced the panic she could feel bubbling in her throat down. She had been in dangerous situations before. She needed to stay calm and think levelly.
Not wanting to leave Angel's room for fear that he may come back when she wasn't there, Buffy dressed and cautiously opened the door to take a good look around. Everywhere, people were milling about in the halls.
"What's going on?" she asked a passerby, whom, she noticed, was wearing bright pink, silk pajamas.
Smiling a little, the middle-aged man patted her hand. "Don't worry, miss. Heard that it was nothing but a little iceberg. I'm sure that we'll be going on again in no time."
The man passed on, and Buffy felt her stomach bottom out. 'Nothing but an iceberg,' she thought hysterically. 'When did an iceberg become a little problem?'
The fact that no one looked even mildly worried only made Buffy more nervous. She wondered where Angel could have gone. Had something happened to him? *No.* Buffy pushed the thought out of her head… he was fine. He had to be fine.
Knowing that she couldn't stand still and do nothing, Buffy hurried towards her stateroom.
She fought off a wave of guilt and anger to find her mother standing outside her room, pacing back and forth with obvious worry. The moment that she saw her daughter, Joyce rushed over and enveloped Buffy in a crushing hug.
"Where have you been?" she demanded.
Buffy pulled away and took a deep breath of air. "I was just…" Buffy paused, she couldn't very well tell her mother what she had really just been doing. "I was just taking a walk."
Joyce sniffed. "At 11:30?"
Buffy shrugged. Looking her mother over, she realized with a jolt that she was wearing a life vest. "Mom, what's going on?"
Joyce looked down at her garment, and then back at Buffy with a weary look in her eyes. Sadly, she smoothed a strand of her daughter's hair back. "Get your vest from your room," she commanded softly.
Fear crept up her throat and Buffy pushed it down as best she could. "Why?"
Giles came up behind her. "It's merely a lifeboat drill, Buffy."
His calm voice reassured her. Hanging on to that hope, Buffy nodded and didn't ask the question that kept running through her head. Why were they having a drill at this time of night?
"Put something on under your vest, I don't want you to catch cold," Joyce said, her voice surprisingly firm
Blinking back tears, Buffy nodded again. Looking at Giles desperately, she whimpered, "Angel. I can't find him. What if something happened…." Choking on the words she looked pleadingly at her mother. "I couldn't stand it if something happened to him."
Joyce took her hand and gave it a squeeze. "It's going to be okay, Buffy. Go and put on your vest. Then we'll look for him."
"You promise?"
"I promise."
Though no one could tell by looking at his face, Angel was deeply troubled. He watched with a growing sense of unease as third class passenger played a game of catch with the large pieces of ice that seemed to litter the deck.
He'd been sleeping peacefully when a sense of danger had awoken him. Not wanting to awake the sleeping Buffy, he'd come outside to see what the problem was. He had come out just in time to see the iceberg hit them. As big as a large house, it had scared Angel more than he would like to admit.
Now people laughed and socialized around him like it was some form of entertainment. But he could feel it. The slight dip in the ship, the stillness of the engine, and the smell of fear the captain and his attendants had given off when they walked by.
The ship was sinking.
His vampire senses on over-drive, Angel knew it to be the truth. They were going down… and fast. An hour, maybe two, and all that was left on the 'Titanic' would be doomed to the frigid water of the Atlantic.
He had to find Buffy. And fast.
Buffy buttoned herself into the life vest as best she could, all the while being sure to hide some stakes in it… just in case. Her mother was tapping her foot impatiently when she finally emerged from her room.
Grabbing her hand, Joyce nodded at Giles and the three of them made their way up, towards the boat deck. Buffy couldn't help but let out a little shocked gasp when she spied the crewmen actually uncovering the boats.
Would they really have to do this? The ship was so warm, so large, so full of life… and the ocean, she shivered, the ocean was black. It was nothing. It didn't make sense.
Leaning over she looked at Giles who was wearing a troubled expression. "Just a drill, huh?"
He tried to smile at her. Failed miserably. "This ship is unsinkable," he managed to choke out.
Apparently, that's what most of the other passengers thought as well. Most of them milled about, still wearing their eveningwear underneath their life vests. Some were grumbling about having to be dragged from their warm beds in the middle of the night. Some were joking and laughing, like this was an everyday occurrence.
There was no panic. No worry. Everything was fine.
"Perhaps," Giles said to Buffy and Joyce, "they just need to put us into life boats in order to make the necessary repairs. I'm sure that we'll be back on the ship in no time."
Joyce nodded bravely and gripped Buffy's hand. "See? There's nothing to be afraid of, dear. We'll stick together."
Buffy looked around frantically, seeing plenty of people, but not the person that she wanted to see the most. "I don't know where Angel is."
Joyce gave her a reassuring smile. "If he's as wonderful as you say he is… then he'll find you."
Biting her lip to keep tears away, Buffy gripped her mother's hand. "I hope that you're right."
When the first boat was uncovered and the shrill cries of, "Women and children first!" rang out, Buffy got a sinking feeling in her gut.
It wasn't a drill.
Not many people stepped forward. The attendants demanded harshly for women and children, and when the boat was lowered, Buffy was sure that there were only eleven or twelve women on a boat that looked like it was made for seventy.
Giles nodded towards the boat that was being lowered into the ocean. "I think it would be best if you and your mother were to get on a boat right away."
Buffy shook her head. "I'll wait. I'm not leaving without you or Angel."
"We'll follow behind in another boat," Giles reassured softly.
Eye's blazing Buffy glared at him. "I'm waiting. I'm not leaving here until I have Angel by my side, and I won't hesitate to hurt anyone that tries and stops me."
"I'm waiting too." Joyce declared firmly.
Buffy stared at her in shock. "No, mom, get into a boat."
Joyce gave her daughter an incredulous look. "Don't be silly! If you think that I'm leaving this ship without you, you better guess again!"
"Mother!"
"I'm serious, Buffy," Joyce warned. "You're my only daughter. I'm not leaving here without you by *my* side."
Buffy was about to protest but the warning look in her mother's eye closed her mouth. Sighing, she wrapped her arms around herself. It was a cold night, and she dreaded the idea of going out into the Atlantic.
Slight panic rose in Angel's throat when he hurried to his stateroom to find that she wasn't there. Her scent still lingered freshly by, so he knew that he must have just missed her. Cursing himself inwardly, he fought off the wave of guilt that crashed into him when he thought about her waking all alone. Knowing that it wasn't the time for such thoughts, Angel pushed them out of his head and concentrated on finding her.
He didn't have any better luck trying to find her in her room. By this time, most people had been evacuated, and the hall was eerily silent. Silent, but for the sound of water that Angel's vampire hearing allowed him to hear the water pooling in the lower decks of the 'Titanic' and rapidly climbing the levels to where he was standing.
Closing his eyes, Angel did his best to block out the noises. His priority was to find Buffy. The only thing that mattered was that she got off the ship unharmed. Everything else… was just details.
He was sure that he had just missed her by minutes again, and he could clearly smell the fear that she had been giving off before she left for the boat deck. She was scared.
And he wasn't there to make her feel better.
Guilt rose in his throat, and his resolve to find her strengthened. Running, he sprinted down the hall, his only hope of finding her lay in concentrating on her scent when he reached the boat deck.
A sudden noise made him stop and, turning, he found a familiar figure huddled against a stateroom door, with his knees hugged against his chest. His life vest was sprawled on the floor next to his feet, as if cast away in disgust.
"Xander," Angel breathed.
Xander turned, and looked at him with haunted eyes. A mirthless laugh escaped his throat. "Figures. I'm going to spend the last minutes of my life with you."
Angel stared at him in confusion. "What are you doing here?"
"What are any of us doing here?" Xander replied as a non-answer.
Angel stared at him like he had grown two heads. He wondered why he was still standing here, since he was losing time looking for Buffy, but his conscience forced him to remain. "You *should* be out at the boat deck."
Another laugh came out of the young man. "Over one hundred years old… and, yet, so naïve."
Angel gave him a questioning look, then sighing turned his back, realizing that it was useless to try and talk to Xander when he should be looking for Buffy. "Whatever," he muttered.
Angel was halfway down the hall when Xander's voice rang out again. "It doesn't matter," he yelled, "you're not getting off this ship alive."
Turning, Angel glared at him. "Is that a threat?" he growled.
Xander gave a sick smile that had Angel cringing. "You just don't get it."
"Don't get what?"
"There aren't enough. No man over the age of sixteen is going to make it off the 'Titanic' alive."
Sick fear clogged in Angel's throat. "You don't know what you're saying."
"I do. I'm going to die tonight," Xander tried to smile again, but failed miserably. "I'm going to die tonight. I'm never going to see Willow again… I'm never going to win the girl of my dreams," he looked at Angel with pained eyes. "I'm never going to be able to make a fool of myself again."
Fear was replaced with dread. Dread, that he knew too well what Xander was talking about. "You don't know that," Angel said harshly. "Yes, the ship is sinking… but you can get off it. Go up to the boat deck."
Xander stood on wobbly legs. He reached down and fetched his life vest. Throwing it down the hall he smiled with satisfaction when Angel caught it. "You're going to need that."
"Xander… why?"
The haunted look returned to the youth's eyes. "There are three thousand people on this ship. It will be a stroke of luck if half that number manages to survive."
"There aren't enough life boats," Angel whispered with sudden realization. "Woman and children first…." A new fear crept into his eyes, "Buffy… I'm not going to leave this ship sitting next to her."
Xander nodded. "Obviously not as stupid as he looks."
"But… why? On a ship this size… why?"
He shrugged. "This ship is unsinkable… is it not?"
Angel looked at him with newfound sadness. "I'm sorry Xander. I've lived a long time… you… you don't deserve this."
Xander sighed and looked at the ground. "Don't I know it." Looking up at Angel, he held out two white pieces of paper in a shaky hand. "Could you… could you try and survive… for her? At least do it for Buffy. I think… I think she needs it."
Angel moved forward and took the two envelopes that Xander was holding. "Who are they for?"
Xander pointed to the thicker one. "That one's for my mom. Diane Harris. She was so excited when she found out I was going to be working on the grand 'Titanic." Faltering for a minute, Xander paused to collect himself before pointing to the thinner envelope. "For Willow. Tell her… tell her I'm sorry."
Angel nodded and grasped Xander's hand. "She okay?" he asked, his voice gruff.
"Yeah… I made sure that she was going to find a boat before coming back down here." Xander shook his hand. "I'm glad that she'll be okay. Buffy, too. I know that you'll make sure she gets into a boat."
Angel was suddenly reluctant to leave him. "Why don't you come? Try and get a boat… at least try."
Xander thought about it before shaking his head. "Naw. Too much work." Grinning he slapped Angel on the shoulder. "Getting sentimental for me, aren't ya? Well, that's okay. I guess we all know who the *real* man is."
"You're a brave man, Xander Harris."
He snorted. "If I wasn't practically pissing myself with fear… I'd agree with you a whole lot more."
Knowing he couldn't say anything more, and knowing Xander didn't want his pity, Angel turned and slowly made his way towards the Grand Staircase. Xander went in the opposite direction—toward the sounds of gurgling water.
"Where are you going?" Angel asked, without turning.
"My shipmates are here… somewhere. I'm not about to abandon them," Xander replied, still walking in the direction of certain doom.
Angel was filled with remorse at letting him go… and hopelessness knowing that he couldn't do anything but let him go.
Monday April 15th, 1912
Buffy had faced gruesome demons, she had spent nights in graveyards waiting for the dead to rise, and she had dusted her first vamp when she was only 15. Still, nothing in the world could have prepared her for this moment.
The same false cheer was still reflected in all the passenger's faces. It was just a drill. They would be back in their beds in no time at all. One person even had the guts to wander around asking if the safes were going to be opened, so she wouldn't have to leave all her jewelry behind.
Still, there were pale faces all around, and as the band started to play a mournful tune, people began to believe their words less and less.
"Woman and children first!" cried the crewmen, while still loading up the lifeboats with what seemed to be a very low number.
Joyce clung to her daughter's arm, as if to make sure she didn't go running off without her. "Do you want to go wait in the gymnasium?"
Buffy shivered. It was a chilly night. And the gymnasium looked so warm… she shook her head. "No I have to stay in case I see anyone I… Willow!"
Shaking herself out of her mother's grip, Buffy charged after the redhead who was in the process of getting onto a lifeboat. Before Willow could step in, Buffy grabbed her and pulled her into a crushing hug.
"Willow! I'm so glad that you're okay!" Buffy pulled back slightly and looked at her with relief. "I was so worried about you."
Willow tried to smile bravely but failed miserably. "I'm okay… I… Xander…"
Buffy felt a cold sense of dread. "What about Xander?"
Grabbing her hands, Willow looked at her. "Don't leave this ship without Angel."
"I wasn't planning on it."
"I'm serious, Buffy. Don't."
"What's going on?" Buffy managed to choke out.
Willow looked sadly at the lifeboat that she had been about to step into. It was slowly being lowered to the ocean. "I promised him that I would get on a boat."
Confused, Buffy followed her gaze and watched as the boat was lowered to the water. "Tell me again why that's a bad thing."
Willow thought about it before answering. "I've known Xander forever. My whole life. He's picked on me… been a complete moron to me… but he's always been there for me. He always stuck up for me. And he made me promise to get on a boat."
"Willow…"
"He made me promise to get on a boat without him." Fear shone in her eyes when Buffy looked at her. "I might never see him again."
Buffy shook her head. "Willow! You don't know that. I'm sure he's just making sure that everyone's getting off the ship fine. He'll get into a boat. You'll see him again."
The redhead's face softened at Buffy's obvious naiveté. Smiling a little for her sake, Willow just hugged her again. "Don't forget what I told you about Angel."
Buffy watched with obvious confusion as Willow gave her a little wave as she boarded the next boat that was uncovered. The crewman that had let her on gave Buffy a questioning look, and she shrugged moving back into the crowd.
Willow's warning jarred her. There was something the girl hadn't told her, and Buffy wished that she knew where it was. Finding her mother, she took her hand and led her into the gymnasium. "Stay."
Joyce raised her eyebrows. "What am I? A dog?"
"Mother, I'm serious. I'm going to find Angel." Buffy said with resolve.
"Then I'm coming with you," her mother declared.
Buffy put a forceful hand on her shoulder to restrain her movement. "No, mom, you're staying here. I'm going to find him. And I'm going to come back here to find you in the exact same place that I left you. Understand?"
"Buffy, dear, don't be si—"
"I'm not being silly," Buffy interrupted sharply. "I'm being sensible. I can't worry about both of you. Mom, I'm not leaving here until I find him. The more time you spend arguing with me, the more time we're wasting."
Joyce stared at her for a minute as if trying to decide whether or not it was worth it to argue. "Fine. I'll stay here."
Buffy managed a thin smile. "Thanks." Leaning up, Buffy pressed a kiss to her mother's cheek. "Wait for me."
Joyce nodded. "And Buffy?"
Buffy turned to look back at her with questions in her eyes.
"Find him, will you?"
"If it's the last thing I do," Buffy muttered under her breath.
As Buffy walked down the Grand Staircase, she couldn't help but notice the men that sat there; just drinking like it was a normal Monday morning. Again she got the feeling that these people knew something that she didn't.
'Why are they just sitting here?' she thought frantically. 'Why aren't they getting into a boat?'
It wasn't just a drill anymore… of that there was a general consensus. Giles was away trying to find out as much as he could. How long they had left, if there was a boat coming for them, and, finally, why the ship was sinking.
Buffy was halfway down the Grand Staircase when she saw *him* and all thoughts and worries vanished from her head as she ran down the last few steps and threw herself into his waiting arms.
Angel held her tight, rubbing her back and trying to soothe the immediate tremble that shook her body now that she had found him.
"Oh my god," Buffy cried, "I was so worried about you."
"I know," he whispered, "I'm sorry. I didn't want you to wake up like—"
Before Angel could finish his sentence, Buffy burst into tears. Pulling away from him she managed to slap him pitifully on the arm. Still, he couldn't help but cringe a little. She was the slayer after all.
"Don't do that to me again!" she yelped through her tears. "Do you know what it was like? I woke up… and you were gone… and the ship," her breath caught for a minute and she tried to stop her sobbing. "The ship is sinking."
Angel pulled her into his arms again. "I know, love, it's sinking."
Fearful, she looked at him, blinking her eyes furiously. "Are you sure?"
Angel thought of the constant roaring of water he could hear getting closer. He thought of the way that Xander had looked before they had parted ways. And he held her a little tighter. "The 'Titanic' is sinking."
"I knew there wasn't something right about this ship," Buffy muttered, her tears having slowed.
"I'm sorry," Angel said again.
"I know," she sniffed. "I just… I can't stand the thought of something happening to you. I… god Angel… I love you… so much."
Angel swallowed stiffly. "I love you, too."
She traced the curve of his face diligently, and looked at him with a small smile on her lips. "When I think about my life before I met you… I don't know how I did it. I don't think that I could live without you."
Angel closed his eyes, and pulled abruptly away from her. "You need to get into a boat."
Buffy stared at him with a worried frown on her face. "What is it?"
"Nothing." To reassure her, he grabbed her hand and led her towards the boat deck.
They were halfway up the Grand Staircase when Buffy stopped suddenly. "Oh my god," she mumbled, "Angel, the stairs…."
Angel didn't say anything. He knew what she meant. Even if he hadn't been a vampire with supernatural senses, he would have felt the tilt of the stairs.
Once they reached the boat deck, Buffy stopped suddenly and turned around to face him. "What's going on?" she asked sharply.
He avoided her eyes. "Nothing," he mumbled again.
Buffy shook her head beginning to get angry. "Don't lie to me, Angel," she hissed. "There's something that you're not telling me."
Angel stared at her helplessly. "Buffy… please…"
"You're scaring me," she took his hand and held it tightly. "First I'm awakened in the middle of the night by some noise… and then my lover is gone. Then I realize that something has hit the ship and my lover is still gone. Then suddenly we're all being EVACUATED and I still CAN'T FIND YOU! And then I do find you and I'm incredibly relieved because I NEED your support, but NO there's something going on and you WON'T TELL ME!" Buffy stood, breathing hard, tears threatening her vision.
Angel sighed sadly. "Buffy…" he murmured trying to pull her into his arms.
She pressed her hand to his chest. "No," she said firmly. "Not until you tell me what's going on."
Angel nodded. "Okay." Leaning forward, he couldn't help but press a small kiss to her lips.
"Angel!" she scolded. "Tell."
"I think," he began after considering her for a moment, "I'm not positive… but I'm pretty sure that there aren't enough lifeboats for everyone on the ship."
Buffy turned her head and looked at the lifeboat that was being filled up to maybe two thirds of its total capacity. New dread sprang to life in her stomach. "How many people won't be able to get off?" she whispered, mouth dry.
Angel followed her gaze and made a sound of disgust upon seeing the numbers in the boats. "Maybe… if we're really lucky… half will get to safety."
'Half?" Buffy thought in panic. 'HALF? On a ship this size???' "That's… that's crazy." Sudden fear crept into her ears when she realized the meaning of his words. It all made sense. The men drinking themselves to a frenzy and waiting patiently in their chairs, the words that Willow had said to her before. It all meant… it all meant that…. Buffy stared at Angel with a horrified expression.
"You… you're not going to be getting on a lifeboat."
TBC