Title: Slayer's Fire
Author: Chimerablue5
Spoilers: Up through Helpless, beginning scene in Lover's Walk with Giles and Buffy, I took a bit of license with the dialogue, but, hey, it's mostly the same, so major spoilage
Pairings: B/G, W/O, A/X, but X/C for a brief spell, seeing as how we're in this point in time
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: Don't own anything in the Buffyverse. Wish I did though, as many people do.
Summary: Something's happening to Buffy, and it's linked to her heritage as the Slayer. It's happening when the Watcher and Slayer are nearly to blows. Is this connected to the changes she's going through?
Author's Note: Hey, Patricia, thanks for the great review. I think I'll use this note to just explain a few things. I know Giles is a bit OOC, but I think that the mental and physical torture that Giles went through under Angelus cut him a whole lot deeper than what we've seen in the show. He's been cold towards Buffy because he can't express it towards Angel (us) directly, so he takes it out on the only other possible person. In my story, Giles isn't always as calm and controlled as he is on the show because in my opinion, I don't think that a person can go through so many traumas and be like that. A person would need to have a few emotional 'leaks' for a lack of a better term. Anyway, I babble when I explain things, so I'll shut up now. Anyway, if you keep reading, you'll see that Giles is a bit overwhelmed and feeling really guilty. Oh, and if you would like to be my beta, I wouldn't mind at all. Just e-mail me at Chimerablue5@hotmail.com and tell me. I'll e-mail you a copy, before I post up the next chapter, and I'll wait 'till you send back a reply with all the little mistakes that have probably taken up residence in the chapter. And still, with the babble, aren't I? :) Really, this time I'll shut up, now. Just read and review please! :)
Author's Note2: Oh, and a side note, if you want to read B/G fics, go to www.buffygiles.com they have a huge archive, as well as links and other things to keep you entertained. Have fun! :)
Chapter 4: Retreat and Thoughts
As the sunlight streamed through a window onto the bag and various camping gear, Buffy walked slowly into the library. She had only been coming into the library to see Giles for their regular training sessions. Before, she would have dropped by, maybe exercise a bit while the gang researched or just hung out with Giles while he was reading, or even annoy him with her 'noise'. A small smile graced Buffy's lips as she thought of Giles' reaction to her music, which was quickly erased as she saw how easily they had drifted apart since Angel's return had been uncovered.
Looking up, she saw the camping gear that Giles had been packing. A vague memory of Giles saying that he was going to a retreat or something or other came to mind. A slight pang came to Buffy as she thought of even more time that was being put between them.
Emerging from his office, Giles saw Buffy as she perched herself on the research table, as she had so many times before. This time, though, she held herself carefully, her shoulders hinting at the tenseness that she was feeling. Giles was saddened at the thought that they were like this way, even after everything they had gone through together. But you wanted this didn't you? Eh, Rupes? You wanted to push her away, just so that you two couldn't hurt each other so much anymore. Isn't that right? That sneering voice was back, but Giles pushed it back into the recesses of his mind. 'It ends now,' he thought furiously.
As he looked at Buffy, his face softened, the concern and care that he felt for her, overcoming any bitterness that he had felt at the moment. For the past week or so, since his return, he had to consciously remind himself not to try and comfort her. He was putting an end to that starting now.
"Buffy. How are you? Sleeping all right?" Giles asked, his concern apparent in his voice.
The kindness and sincerity in his voice nearly made Buffy do a double take. 'Hold on. What's up?' Buffy thought, wondering what was going on with the sudden change in Giles.
She wasn't able to hide the confusion at his concern, and it saddened Giles even more that the small amount of concern that he had shown just now had surprised her. 'This has gone on for too long and it stops now!' Giles thought, angry towards himself for taking this charade for so long.
"I'm fine, you know me." Buffy shifted slightly on the desk so that she could see him out of the corner of her eye if she looked at the library doors. Her hand clutched the paper as she wondered if she should show it too him.
The sound of the paper as it slightly rustled in her hand attracted Giles' eye. He wondered if he should ask or should he just let her come to him of her own free will. 'Oh, to hell with it.'
"What might that be, if I may ask?" Giles asked calmly, as he placed the piece of gear on the table next to the rest of the things he was bringing onto his trip.
Buffy looked down to her hand. 'Well, I guess that answers that.' Buffy thought sarcastically, partially relieved that he had answered her internal debate for her.
"It...It's just my SAT scores. They don't really matter much do they?" Buffy said. Her tone was relaxing as she spoke with him. The cold demeanor that he had been carrying was almost completely gone, she found herself unwinding. She was beginning to feel more relaxed than she had in weeks. The stress of hiding Angel, pretending that everything ok had been weighing so heavily on her, she hadn't realized how hard it had been until this moment.
"Oh? And how did you do? From the expression that you have, I would think that you didn't do so well." Giles said, teasing lightly to test the waters.
"Well, it's really up to you. Is a 1430 a good thing, or a bad thing?" Buffy asked, a small part of her, surprised that he would even try the familiarity of light banter. The surprise that came upon his face was happy in a way that made a warm glow come on inside of her.
"Buffy this is remarkable." Giles said in awe, as he looked over her SAT test scores. For a moment, everything that had passed in the last week, had been forgotten, they were back to being Watcher and Slayer, and close friends.
Buffy searched for a distraction, looking for something to break the silence. She found her gaze attracted by the numerous instruments littered around the camping bag.
"So is this." Picking up one of the objects, she pretended to be examining the item. "Where is this retreat thingy, the Yukon?" Buffy asked, slightly joking, though a slight panicked voice was running around wondering if he was leaving her.
"No, actually," Giles said with a slight smile at Buffy's attempt at humor, "It's quite nearby, actually. It's, um, it's the clearing at the top of Breaker's Woods. It's the site of some fascinating druidic rituals."
A part of Buffy smiled inwardly, seeing that Giles was being, well Giles, to the last. Still the panicky voice was still talking incessantly, demanding for her to ask whether or not he was leaving for good. "Okay, but you're just going for a few days, right? I mean, you're not gonna settle there and grow crops or anything. Right?" The last word came out a bit nervously.
Giles looked at her, his confusion apparent on his face. A light bulb went off in his head. 'She's actually afraid I'll leave. Doesn't the poor girl realize, I would never leave her?' Giles thought affectionately. He stopped that train of thought, knowing that he shouldn't go down that path. He quickly came up with a reply. "What? Oh, my gear. No, no, this is, this is basic necessities." Saying it quickly enough, that the pause in between hadn't sounded awkward.
Buffy couldn't resist the jest that had popped into her mind. "Giles, you pack like me." As she said it, a smile played at the corner of her lips, as she felt a large tension leave her, and she felt that maybe the world was getting back on track.
Giles smiled down affectionately at the girl who had such control over him. He hoped when, if his mind supplied for him. When, she realized this, that she would be kind.
As though snapping out of a deep thought, Giles mentally shook himself and handed her back the paper. "Here. I suspect your mother will want to, uh, put it on the refrigerator." Giles said, slightly struggling to make the words come out.
"Yeah. She saw these scores, and her head spun around and exploded." Buffy replied.
Giles paused in his packing, as he looked up to think about her statement. "I-I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?" He asked, only half joking.
Buffy smiled at his uncertainty. The fact that they actually had to say that it was metaphorical was sad, but a normal part of their lives. "Yes. She was happy." A small smile playing at the corners of her mouth again, that threatened to split her mouth in a huge grin.
"She started with all this crazy talk about me going to college, maybe someplace else. I know. I know, I said that you were gonna have a goat. Responsibilities and all. I know the drill." Buffy said, with a wave of her hand, referring to her duty as the Slayer.
"She may be right." Giles responded quietly, placing the mirror that his Slayer had been playing with a few minutes earlier.
"Yeah, I know, I figured you'd...Okay. Be kind, rewind." Buffy said, caught by surprise in the middle of her sentence.
"With scores like these, Buffy, you could have a first-rate education. I'm, I'm not suggesting that you... ignore your calling, but, um... you need to look to your future. And with Faith here, i-i-it may be that you can move on. For a-a time, at least." Giles cursed the stutter that came out of him nearer to the end of his response. What he said was true, and it hurt him deeply to think that she might leave. But in this impossible instance, she just might be able to leave the Hellmouth behind to pursue whatever she wanted. 'Even if it is a future without me in it.' Giles thought bitterly.
"Wow." Buffy said, unable to say anything else at the moment. She knew that normally, she couldn't even think of that possibility. Yet here she was, with her Watcher offering it to her. But it saddened her at the same time as she thought that if she followed that road, it might not include her Watcher, who was so bound to duty, he wouldn't leave his post at the mouth of Hell.
"Well, anyway, let's talk about it when I get back, shall we?" Giles said, uncomfortably, unable to meet her eyes, as he placed the last of the supplies in the bag and zipped it up.
As the sound of the zipper echoed around the library, Giles desperately tried to find something to break the silence. "I-in the meantime, um, I'd like you to continue training while I'm, while I'm gone, and, um, please don't do anything rash." He admonished quietly, looking over the contents of his bag.
"'Anything rash' meaning..." Buffy trailed off, silently asking Giles to explain.
The next few words came out slowly, as though he were picking his words very carefully indeed. "Are you planning on seeing Angel?"
Buffy didn't miss the hesitation in his voice, and jumped to reassure him in that department. "Yes. Actually, I am. Look, but there's not gonna be any rash. Anywhere." Buffy added for good measure. She didn't want Giles to feel as though she was going to betray him so deeply with someone that had hurt him so much. "Okay. We're, we're friends. That's all either of us wants. Nothing's gonna happen." Buffy said, trying to convince both Giles and herself, wondering about how much truth was actually behind those words.
Giles, in the meantime, was looking at her incredulously over the top of the rim of his glasses. Of Buffy, he was sure that she would never intentionally hurt her friends, but he didn't know how well, or how much, her judgment was when it concerned the now ensouled vampire.
******************************************
It was during her workout in the empty library, that she began thinking amidst the punches and various kicks, her thoughts turned to her overall life.
'Well, it's not often I do a self-evaluation thing-y all by myself.' Buffy thought wryly. During a vicious spin-kick, she wondered why that was. 'Well, it could be that I don't really have time, between the slaying, the school, the hiding of former boyfriends from my closest friends and Watcher.
'Nice life, Buffy. You never would have thought that you'd be living like this back when you were in Hemery, eh?' Buffy thought, executing a jump kick at an invisible enemy. Calming down a bit, she went over to the research table, where she put her towel and water bottle. She grabbed the water bottle and took a swig from it, placing it back down on the table. She looked around at the library, smiling vaguely, as she reminiscently at all the memories that flooded her. Sure, most of the big ones were horrible. Like when she yelled at Giles for the first time when she found out that she would die. When she found Xander, bloodied, and limping after they had kidnapped Willow and Giles to try and resurrect the Master. Then when they captured Giles again to tell them how to open Acathla, and finding Kendra dead on the floor, Xander knocked out near an overturned book shelf, and Willow unconscious beneath said book shelf. Even with these horrible memories, small moments, glancing moments waded in, overtaking the bad ones.
Taking a seat, even though she didn't feel tired, she looked around the library again, the tiny memories swimming in her mind's eye. The way Xander had been amazed the first time when he stated: "Okay, this is where I have a problem. See, because we're talking about vampires. We're having a *talk* with vampires in it." Xander said, somewhat hysteric.
Other memories, that came later, like when she was training with Giles, or listening to Willow talk to her. Their boy trouble one of the many things they talked about. Or when she teases Giles and he replied with his usual sarcasm that was so normal she expected at least a little of it everyday.
Her face grew soft as she thought of Giles, and how he had taken care of her. Her thoughts took a depressed turn as she thought of how she had repaid that warmth and kindness with her foolishness, her stubbornness, and her shortsightedness. She gave a sigh that was loud in the quiet library. She jumped back to her feet, not liking the turn that her mind had taken down memory lane. She began to train again to try and take away the sadness that had enveloped her, or at least forget about it until later.
*********************************************************
Giles set up his tent, making sure that it was properly made. He didn't want it collapsing in on itself while he was in it. He debated, whether or not he should go and study the ruins by moonlight, or go in the morning. Looking around him, at the darkness that pressed in around him, he decided to go in the morning.
'After all, wouldn't want to fall and give yourself a blasted concussion. I all ready get enough of those, I don't need to add on to it with my own blunderings.' Giles thought wryly, grinning to himself.
Sitting by the fire that he had made, he looked up into the stars that normally were blocked by the artificial lights of Sunnydale. To think that some of those beautiful pins of light might not even exist anymore was amazing. He had never been interested in the technicalities and intricate workings of astronomy. But he was often in awe of the natural beauty that the heavens provided.
Giles shook his head, a bit sad that nowadays no one really had the time to pause and just look around them for the beauty that they often looked for in life. Even he didn't do it as often as he'd like, always face-first in a book, researching the latest demon, or trying to get the heads up on a prophecy.
Glancing at his watch, that was illuminated by it's light, he decided that if he were to get an early start for the ruins the next day, he should probably turn in. He got up, dusted his pants a bit and went to fetch the water pale to put out the fire. He certainly didn't want to start a forest fire. Too many things happened Sunnydale, he didn't need to add any more troubles when there were plenty of them waiting in the city.
*************************************************
As the sun rose in the distance, it found Rupert Giles lying awake in his tent, having woken up and hour before. So used to having to stay up until the early hours of the morning waiting for his Slayer, he kept waking up, expecting Buffy to come knocking on his door to report to him the latest demon. Only to find upon waking the ceiling of his tent and slightly open gap in the tent flap.
As a small ray of light crept into the tent, Giles' mind wandered back to his little family. He wondered how they were doing, if they had gotten themselves into trouble in his absence.
Giles smiled to himself in the quickly lightening tent. 'They don't need you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, old man.' Giles thought wryly to himself. Getting himself up, he decided that he should probably go and eat a bit before heading out to the site.
***********************************************
Golden light spilled into the room, unable to mask the sadness that seemed to infect his young charges. Giles looked up from his book to look at Xander, Willow, and his Slayer, Buffy. They all seemed occupied and distracted, well, more than usually anyway.
As the bell rang, signaling them to start making their way to class, Giles pulled Buffy to the side.
"Buffy, do you think we could have a word whenever you're available?" Giles asked, glancing up a second to make sure that Xander and Willow couldn't hear them.
Buffy looked up, a glimpse of surprise flashing in her eyes. She regarded him with a questioning look. "Sure Giles. I'll come by during my lunch break, okay?"
"That's fine."
A look in his eyes told Buffy that he wanted this to be a private Watcher/Slayer conversation. She thought up an excuse to see Giles. 'Why do I need to make an excuse? It's not like we're doing anything wrong. It's just innocent Watcher/Slayer bonding. No harm in that.' Uh-huh, sure. 'Where did that voice come from?' Buffy thought, confused by what her thoughts were saying. She slightly shook her head to clear it, as she said good-bye to Giles, making her way to the swinging doors, making her way to her next class.
**********************************
Well, there's the next chapter. Sorry about the late update. I got a writer's block, somewhere around the time when Giles was in the retreat. I'll try to update sooner, barring writer's block. Well, until next time. And don't forget, read and review please! :)
Author: Chimerablue5
Spoilers: Up through Helpless, beginning scene in Lover's Walk with Giles and Buffy, I took a bit of license with the dialogue, but, hey, it's mostly the same, so major spoilage
Pairings: B/G, W/O, A/X, but X/C for a brief spell, seeing as how we're in this point in time
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimers: Don't own anything in the Buffyverse. Wish I did though, as many people do.
Summary: Something's happening to Buffy, and it's linked to her heritage as the Slayer. It's happening when the Watcher and Slayer are nearly to blows. Is this connected to the changes she's going through?
Author's Note: Hey, Patricia, thanks for the great review. I think I'll use this note to just explain a few things. I know Giles is a bit OOC, but I think that the mental and physical torture that Giles went through under Angelus cut him a whole lot deeper than what we've seen in the show. He's been cold towards Buffy because he can't express it towards Angel (us) directly, so he takes it out on the only other possible person. In my story, Giles isn't always as calm and controlled as he is on the show because in my opinion, I don't think that a person can go through so many traumas and be like that. A person would need to have a few emotional 'leaks' for a lack of a better term. Anyway, I babble when I explain things, so I'll shut up now. Anyway, if you keep reading, you'll see that Giles is a bit overwhelmed and feeling really guilty. Oh, and if you would like to be my beta, I wouldn't mind at all. Just e-mail me at Chimerablue5@hotmail.com and tell me. I'll e-mail you a copy, before I post up the next chapter, and I'll wait 'till you send back a reply with all the little mistakes that have probably taken up residence in the chapter. And still, with the babble, aren't I? :) Really, this time I'll shut up, now. Just read and review please! :)
Author's Note2: Oh, and a side note, if you want to read B/G fics, go to www.buffygiles.com they have a huge archive, as well as links and other things to keep you entertained. Have fun! :)
Chapter 4: Retreat and Thoughts
As the sunlight streamed through a window onto the bag and various camping gear, Buffy walked slowly into the library. She had only been coming into the library to see Giles for their regular training sessions. Before, she would have dropped by, maybe exercise a bit while the gang researched or just hung out with Giles while he was reading, or even annoy him with her 'noise'. A small smile graced Buffy's lips as she thought of Giles' reaction to her music, which was quickly erased as she saw how easily they had drifted apart since Angel's return had been uncovered.
Looking up, she saw the camping gear that Giles had been packing. A vague memory of Giles saying that he was going to a retreat or something or other came to mind. A slight pang came to Buffy as she thought of even more time that was being put between them.
Emerging from his office, Giles saw Buffy as she perched herself on the research table, as she had so many times before. This time, though, she held herself carefully, her shoulders hinting at the tenseness that she was feeling. Giles was saddened at the thought that they were like this way, even after everything they had gone through together. But you wanted this didn't you? Eh, Rupes? You wanted to push her away, just so that you two couldn't hurt each other so much anymore. Isn't that right? That sneering voice was back, but Giles pushed it back into the recesses of his mind. 'It ends now,' he thought furiously.
As he looked at Buffy, his face softened, the concern and care that he felt for her, overcoming any bitterness that he had felt at the moment. For the past week or so, since his return, he had to consciously remind himself not to try and comfort her. He was putting an end to that starting now.
"Buffy. How are you? Sleeping all right?" Giles asked, his concern apparent in his voice.
The kindness and sincerity in his voice nearly made Buffy do a double take. 'Hold on. What's up?' Buffy thought, wondering what was going on with the sudden change in Giles.
She wasn't able to hide the confusion at his concern, and it saddened Giles even more that the small amount of concern that he had shown just now had surprised her. 'This has gone on for too long and it stops now!' Giles thought, angry towards himself for taking this charade for so long.
"I'm fine, you know me." Buffy shifted slightly on the desk so that she could see him out of the corner of her eye if she looked at the library doors. Her hand clutched the paper as she wondered if she should show it too him.
The sound of the paper as it slightly rustled in her hand attracted Giles' eye. He wondered if he should ask or should he just let her come to him of her own free will. 'Oh, to hell with it.'
"What might that be, if I may ask?" Giles asked calmly, as he placed the piece of gear on the table next to the rest of the things he was bringing onto his trip.
Buffy looked down to her hand. 'Well, I guess that answers that.' Buffy thought sarcastically, partially relieved that he had answered her internal debate for her.
"It...It's just my SAT scores. They don't really matter much do they?" Buffy said. Her tone was relaxing as she spoke with him. The cold demeanor that he had been carrying was almost completely gone, she found herself unwinding. She was beginning to feel more relaxed than she had in weeks. The stress of hiding Angel, pretending that everything ok had been weighing so heavily on her, she hadn't realized how hard it had been until this moment.
"Oh? And how did you do? From the expression that you have, I would think that you didn't do so well." Giles said, teasing lightly to test the waters.
"Well, it's really up to you. Is a 1430 a good thing, or a bad thing?" Buffy asked, a small part of her, surprised that he would even try the familiarity of light banter. The surprise that came upon his face was happy in a way that made a warm glow come on inside of her.
"Buffy this is remarkable." Giles said in awe, as he looked over her SAT test scores. For a moment, everything that had passed in the last week, had been forgotten, they were back to being Watcher and Slayer, and close friends.
Buffy searched for a distraction, looking for something to break the silence. She found her gaze attracted by the numerous instruments littered around the camping bag.
"So is this." Picking up one of the objects, she pretended to be examining the item. "Where is this retreat thingy, the Yukon?" Buffy asked, slightly joking, though a slight panicked voice was running around wondering if he was leaving her.
"No, actually," Giles said with a slight smile at Buffy's attempt at humor, "It's quite nearby, actually. It's, um, it's the clearing at the top of Breaker's Woods. It's the site of some fascinating druidic rituals."
A part of Buffy smiled inwardly, seeing that Giles was being, well Giles, to the last. Still the panicky voice was still talking incessantly, demanding for her to ask whether or not he was leaving for good. "Okay, but you're just going for a few days, right? I mean, you're not gonna settle there and grow crops or anything. Right?" The last word came out a bit nervously.
Giles looked at her, his confusion apparent on his face. A light bulb went off in his head. 'She's actually afraid I'll leave. Doesn't the poor girl realize, I would never leave her?' Giles thought affectionately. He stopped that train of thought, knowing that he shouldn't go down that path. He quickly came up with a reply. "What? Oh, my gear. No, no, this is, this is basic necessities." Saying it quickly enough, that the pause in between hadn't sounded awkward.
Buffy couldn't resist the jest that had popped into her mind. "Giles, you pack like me." As she said it, a smile played at the corner of her lips, as she felt a large tension leave her, and she felt that maybe the world was getting back on track.
Giles smiled down affectionately at the girl who had such control over him. He hoped when, if his mind supplied for him. When, she realized this, that she would be kind.
As though snapping out of a deep thought, Giles mentally shook himself and handed her back the paper. "Here. I suspect your mother will want to, uh, put it on the refrigerator." Giles said, slightly struggling to make the words come out.
"Yeah. She saw these scores, and her head spun around and exploded." Buffy replied.
Giles paused in his packing, as he looked up to think about her statement. "I-I've been on the Hellmouth too long. That was metaphorical, yes?" He asked, only half joking.
Buffy smiled at his uncertainty. The fact that they actually had to say that it was metaphorical was sad, but a normal part of their lives. "Yes. She was happy." A small smile playing at the corners of her mouth again, that threatened to split her mouth in a huge grin.
"She started with all this crazy talk about me going to college, maybe someplace else. I know. I know, I said that you were gonna have a goat. Responsibilities and all. I know the drill." Buffy said, with a wave of her hand, referring to her duty as the Slayer.
"She may be right." Giles responded quietly, placing the mirror that his Slayer had been playing with a few minutes earlier.
"Yeah, I know, I figured you'd...Okay. Be kind, rewind." Buffy said, caught by surprise in the middle of her sentence.
"With scores like these, Buffy, you could have a first-rate education. I'm, I'm not suggesting that you... ignore your calling, but, um... you need to look to your future. And with Faith here, i-i-it may be that you can move on. For a-a time, at least." Giles cursed the stutter that came out of him nearer to the end of his response. What he said was true, and it hurt him deeply to think that she might leave. But in this impossible instance, she just might be able to leave the Hellmouth behind to pursue whatever she wanted. 'Even if it is a future without me in it.' Giles thought bitterly.
"Wow." Buffy said, unable to say anything else at the moment. She knew that normally, she couldn't even think of that possibility. Yet here she was, with her Watcher offering it to her. But it saddened her at the same time as she thought that if she followed that road, it might not include her Watcher, who was so bound to duty, he wouldn't leave his post at the mouth of Hell.
"Well, anyway, let's talk about it when I get back, shall we?" Giles said, uncomfortably, unable to meet her eyes, as he placed the last of the supplies in the bag and zipped it up.
As the sound of the zipper echoed around the library, Giles desperately tried to find something to break the silence. "I-in the meantime, um, I'd like you to continue training while I'm, while I'm gone, and, um, please don't do anything rash." He admonished quietly, looking over the contents of his bag.
"'Anything rash' meaning..." Buffy trailed off, silently asking Giles to explain.
The next few words came out slowly, as though he were picking his words very carefully indeed. "Are you planning on seeing Angel?"
Buffy didn't miss the hesitation in his voice, and jumped to reassure him in that department. "Yes. Actually, I am. Look, but there's not gonna be any rash. Anywhere." Buffy added for good measure. She didn't want Giles to feel as though she was going to betray him so deeply with someone that had hurt him so much. "Okay. We're, we're friends. That's all either of us wants. Nothing's gonna happen." Buffy said, trying to convince both Giles and herself, wondering about how much truth was actually behind those words.
Giles, in the meantime, was looking at her incredulously over the top of the rim of his glasses. Of Buffy, he was sure that she would never intentionally hurt her friends, but he didn't know how well, or how much, her judgment was when it concerned the now ensouled vampire.
******************************************
It was during her workout in the empty library, that she began thinking amidst the punches and various kicks, her thoughts turned to her overall life.
'Well, it's not often I do a self-evaluation thing-y all by myself.' Buffy thought wryly. During a vicious spin-kick, she wondered why that was. 'Well, it could be that I don't really have time, between the slaying, the school, the hiding of former boyfriends from my closest friends and Watcher.
'Nice life, Buffy. You never would have thought that you'd be living like this back when you were in Hemery, eh?' Buffy thought, executing a jump kick at an invisible enemy. Calming down a bit, she went over to the research table, where she put her towel and water bottle. She grabbed the water bottle and took a swig from it, placing it back down on the table. She looked around at the library, smiling vaguely, as she reminiscently at all the memories that flooded her. Sure, most of the big ones were horrible. Like when she yelled at Giles for the first time when she found out that she would die. When she found Xander, bloodied, and limping after they had kidnapped Willow and Giles to try and resurrect the Master. Then when they captured Giles again to tell them how to open Acathla, and finding Kendra dead on the floor, Xander knocked out near an overturned book shelf, and Willow unconscious beneath said book shelf. Even with these horrible memories, small moments, glancing moments waded in, overtaking the bad ones.
Taking a seat, even though she didn't feel tired, she looked around the library again, the tiny memories swimming in her mind's eye. The way Xander had been amazed the first time when he stated: "Okay, this is where I have a problem. See, because we're talking about vampires. We're having a *talk* with vampires in it." Xander said, somewhat hysteric.
Other memories, that came later, like when she was training with Giles, or listening to Willow talk to her. Their boy trouble one of the many things they talked about. Or when she teases Giles and he replied with his usual sarcasm that was so normal she expected at least a little of it everyday.
Her face grew soft as she thought of Giles, and how he had taken care of her. Her thoughts took a depressed turn as she thought of how she had repaid that warmth and kindness with her foolishness, her stubbornness, and her shortsightedness. She gave a sigh that was loud in the quiet library. She jumped back to her feet, not liking the turn that her mind had taken down memory lane. She began to train again to try and take away the sadness that had enveloped her, or at least forget about it until later.
*********************************************************
Giles set up his tent, making sure that it was properly made. He didn't want it collapsing in on itself while he was in it. He debated, whether or not he should go and study the ruins by moonlight, or go in the morning. Looking around him, at the darkness that pressed in around him, he decided to go in the morning.
'After all, wouldn't want to fall and give yourself a blasted concussion. I all ready get enough of those, I don't need to add on to it with my own blunderings.' Giles thought wryly, grinning to himself.
Sitting by the fire that he had made, he looked up into the stars that normally were blocked by the artificial lights of Sunnydale. To think that some of those beautiful pins of light might not even exist anymore was amazing. He had never been interested in the technicalities and intricate workings of astronomy. But he was often in awe of the natural beauty that the heavens provided.
Giles shook his head, a bit sad that nowadays no one really had the time to pause and just look around them for the beauty that they often looked for in life. Even he didn't do it as often as he'd like, always face-first in a book, researching the latest demon, or trying to get the heads up on a prophecy.
Glancing at his watch, that was illuminated by it's light, he decided that if he were to get an early start for the ruins the next day, he should probably turn in. He got up, dusted his pants a bit and went to fetch the water pale to put out the fire. He certainly didn't want to start a forest fire. Too many things happened Sunnydale, he didn't need to add any more troubles when there were plenty of them waiting in the city.
*************************************************
As the sun rose in the distance, it found Rupert Giles lying awake in his tent, having woken up and hour before. So used to having to stay up until the early hours of the morning waiting for his Slayer, he kept waking up, expecting Buffy to come knocking on his door to report to him the latest demon. Only to find upon waking the ceiling of his tent and slightly open gap in the tent flap.
As a small ray of light crept into the tent, Giles' mind wandered back to his little family. He wondered how they were doing, if they had gotten themselves into trouble in his absence.
Giles smiled to himself in the quickly lightening tent. 'They don't need you 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, old man.' Giles thought wryly to himself. Getting himself up, he decided that he should probably go and eat a bit before heading out to the site.
***********************************************
Golden light spilled into the room, unable to mask the sadness that seemed to infect his young charges. Giles looked up from his book to look at Xander, Willow, and his Slayer, Buffy. They all seemed occupied and distracted, well, more than usually anyway.
As the bell rang, signaling them to start making their way to class, Giles pulled Buffy to the side.
"Buffy, do you think we could have a word whenever you're available?" Giles asked, glancing up a second to make sure that Xander and Willow couldn't hear them.
Buffy looked up, a glimpse of surprise flashing in her eyes. She regarded him with a questioning look. "Sure Giles. I'll come by during my lunch break, okay?"
"That's fine."
A look in his eyes told Buffy that he wanted this to be a private Watcher/Slayer conversation. She thought up an excuse to see Giles. 'Why do I need to make an excuse? It's not like we're doing anything wrong. It's just innocent Watcher/Slayer bonding. No harm in that.' Uh-huh, sure. 'Where did that voice come from?' Buffy thought, confused by what her thoughts were saying. She slightly shook her head to clear it, as she said good-bye to Giles, making her way to the swinging doors, making her way to her next class.
**********************************
Well, there's the next chapter. Sorry about the late update. I got a writer's block, somewhere around the time when Giles was in the retreat. I'll try to update sooner, barring writer's block. Well, until next time. And don't forget, read and review please! :)