Witches and Wizards Today
Episode #2
Flames burst to life and a large form takes shape within them. As the scene clears, a tall, broad man with light blue skin and yellow eyes can be easily seen. His suit today is flashing silver with a sparkling ruby tie. As usual, an ear-to-ear grin is plastered across his face.
Solmyr: "Welcome again, faithful friends and viewers. We have another special show lined up for you today. Indeed we do. Only here on Witches and Wizards Today can you meet the Witches and Wizards of our world." Mumbles almost under his breath for a moment. "Or perhaps by passing them on the streets of Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, or some other place."
Director Aaron: Clears his throat in annoyance.
Solmyr: "Of course, here is most likely where you'll find them!" He chuckles heartily. "Alright, alright, time to get on with the introduction of today's guest....Ron Weasley!"
A few claps can be heard from the audience, but it's nothing overly cheerful, as a red haired boy of about 14 walks up to the stage. His face is nearly as colourful as his hair when he shakes hands with the oversized host.
Ron: "H-hullo. Nice to meet you." He swallows hard and looks up, way up, at the blue skinned man in front of him.
Solmyr: He grins broadly as his hand nearly swallows Ron's. He pats the boy on the shoulder and directs him to the ever present blinding couch and it's bright Hawaiian shirt pattern. The base colour of red seems even louder than before, the large banana yellow flowers almost seem to glow and the smaller mint green flowers sparkle under the lights. "Welcome to our show, Ron. Please, have a seat, m'boy."
Ron: He looks at the couch and instantly turns his eyes away. His face contorts in disgust. "Gah! I think I'm blind!"
Solmyr: He tilts his head to the side and glances from the couch to Ron, then grins and shakes his head. "Tut, tut. It's a lovely couch and quite comfortable, I assure you. Come now, have a seat. That's it, this way. Come, come." He guides the young boy, who happens to be shielding his eyes in an effort to keep his sight, to the great couch.
Ron: He sits down with his eyes closed and hand over his face until he can feel his back leaning against the hideous thing he's sitting on. He finally dares to open one eye and looks around cautiously. He lets out a sigh of relief and grins lopsidedly.
Director Aaron: Makes a few indiscernible noises off stage.
Solmyr: He glances at the director and nods with a grin, then looks out at the audience. "It's that time again. Yes, I know you hate being taken away from our show, but we really must get to the commercials, otherwise there won't be a show."
The jazz band plays a tune and Solmyr can be heard chuckling as the scene fades.
****
From the corner of the fireplace a small face can be seen. She glances around for a moment with wide eyes, then disappears from sight. Whispers can be heard in the background, but the exact words are impossible to make out.
Finally the little girl runs out again, then stands in the center of the fireplace with an adorable smile on her face. Her medium blue eyes twinkle with all the wonder of a child of four, her long, pale blond curls bounce as she hops on her toes and she's wearing a cute little pink robe that perfectly matches the little pink wand in her small hand.
Female Announcer: She laughs quietly for a moment, apparently amused by the little girl. "Mini Magic Robes and Accessories. All your clothing needs for those adorable toddlers at home."
The little girl twirls around and smiles up at someone who can't be seen.
Female Announcer: "Here we have little Tabitha..."
A frown comes over the child's face and she crosses her arms with a sniff of disdain.
Female Announcer: "Oh, alright deary. Here we have little Tabby sporting a lovely pink robe."
Tabby: She spins around again, happy once more now that the woman got her name right. Suddenly her outfit changes to a small, blue robe with matching cloak, mittens and boots. She looks down at the change of clothing and makes a little 'o' with her mouth.
Female Announcer: "We have robes of many colours and sizes for boys and girls. Come in and see us today!"
As the fire fades, Tabby can be seen approaching a tall figure in the darkness and tugging on her skirt impatiently. The person looks down, laughs and nods.
Female Announcer: "Yes, you can go play in puddles now."
The fire goes black.
****
A tall, bone thin warlock comes into view. His claw like hands grasp a battered wooden staff and his empty crystal blue eyes stare unblinking ahead of him. When he speaks, his voice is as cold and emotionless as his face.
Warlock: "For those who desire a relaxing brew after a long day, come to the Skeleton's Closet pub at the north end of Knockturn Alley." He lightly presses the tips of his fingers together and grins, revealing a mouthful of yellowed teeth. "And if you should have any familiars that are no longer useful, such as cats, owls or toads, you are welcome to bring them to us. I'm certain we can find some use for them."
And the advertisement abruptly ends there.
****
The lights of the stage are slowly brought back up to reveal the Witches and Wizards Today show with the band playing merrily in the background. Solmyr sits comfortably in his host chair with a large grin and Ron shifts nervously on the couch trying to find a safe place to look.
Sulia: Appears with a tray of sweets in hand and slowly approaches the two male figures. She casts a veiled glare at the couch, then replaces the look with a somewhat forced, yet cheerful smile as she offers the tray to Ron and Solmyr.
Ron: His eyes light up when he sees the tray. "Wow, those look great!" He dives into the sweets as though he hasn't eaten anything in weeks. "Thanks!"
Solmyr: He chuckles and watches the lad with amusement. "You know, that tray of sweets will be there until the end of the show."
Ron: A grin spreads over his freckled face and he tries to speak through a mouthful of candy. "Sorry 'bout that." He closes his eyes tightly and swallows the lump of sweets in his mouth, nearly causing himself to choke. "I'll try to slow down."
Solmyr: He waits until Ron empties his mouth after having grabbed a few more treats, then begins the interview. "Tell me, Ron, do you enjoy attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?"
Ron: "Oh yeah! It's great there! Of course, it'd be even better if they canned Sna...I mean, Professor Snape." His face again turns nearly as red as his hair.
Solmyr: He chuckles again and takes a candy from the tray. "I take it he's not your favourite teacher then. Aside from the Potions Master, are there any Professors you dislike?"
Ron: "Well, there was Lockhart. I still dunno what Hermione saw in that one. I mean, he was a complete dunderhead! Then there's Snape. He's just evil. I don't know why Dumbledore lets him stay. Binns the ghost Professor is so boring. He drones on and on about stuff no one cares about. I mean, when he was alive he was probably there for all of it. The guy's ancient! Not even dying could stop him from teaching. And Trelawney, she's a treat." He takes a deep breath and rolls his eyes. "I don't think she ever sees anything good in those stupid glass balls." He hunches his shoulders, makes circles with his fingers and puts them over his eyes, then tries to make his voice high and wispy. "I'm Professor Trelawney and I'm going to tell you when you're going to die and what kind of horrific accidents you'll be in that shall scar you the rest of your days, even though you'll have very few days to live. Because all I see are the terrible things that are going to happen to you. Let me draw up a chart of the stars that makes no sense to anyone but me and I'll tell you when and how you're going to die." He stops with a short laugh. "Then there's Filch. He's all but Snape's lapdog, I think. And there's Lockhart and Snape." He thinks for a minute, then grins again. "I guess I already mentioned them."
Solmyr: He remains silent for a moment and blinks at Ron a few times, then a wide grin appears on his blue face and he starts chuckling again. "I see, I see. Well, it seems there are a few Professors you don't like. Are there any classes you do enjoy?"
Ron: "Oh yeah. I love Hagrid's class about Mystical Beasts. It's the best just because Hagrid teaches it. And I like McGonagall's Transfiguration, even though I'm not very good at it." He shrugs and smiles.
Solmyr: "Very good, very good. Hopefully you'll find more classes and Professors to like in the future. Now, let's see, what else is there? Hmm...." He thinks for a moment before his face brightens again. "You're good friends with Harry Potter, aren't you? Tell us, what's your honest opinion of him?"
Ron: His face again turns rather pink. "Harry's one of my best friends. He's really great to hang around with. We get into all sorts of trouble together. The only thing I don't like is how much attention everyone gives him. I get ignored whenever he's around."
Solmyr: "A pity that is. So what kind of trouble do the two of you get into?"
Ron: He gives Solmyr a suspicious look, then shrugs. "Well, we've broken all kinds of school rules, but we haven't been expelled yet. I think that's cause he's always saving the day. We've wandered around at night when everyone else was in bed, but we had his invisibility cloak to hide under so we wouldn't get caught. During our first year we went to the corridor on the third floor that was supposed to be off limits. We've used magic outside of class. Stuff like that."
Solmyr: "Were you ever afraid one of you, or both, might end up hurt or killed?"
Ron: "Definitely. I mean, we did some really dangerous stuff. There was some Devil's Snare that we fell into. I thought it was gonna strangle me to death. Thank goodness I managed to stay calm." He glances around nervously and his ears turn a bit pink. "Then there were the spiders in the Dark Forest. I didn't like them at all. There were lots of times I thought we were gonna die."
Solmyr: "Odd how that never stopped you from getting into more trouble than you should. Lucky Harry was always there to help you out, eh?" Ron: He frowns a bit and nods reluctantly. "Yeah, I guess. I could've handled it myself though. It's not like I don't know anything. I know as much stuff as Harry does."
Solmyr: "Of course you do, of course." He glances at the director off stage again and nods. "And again it's time for our sponsors to say a few things. We'll be right back."
The band strikes up a short melody again as the scene changes once more.
****
A beautiful young witch appears in the flickering flames with a bright smile on her face.
BYW: "Greetings and salutations. Are you looking for a new pet? Perhaps a replacement for one that's died or retired? Here at the Owl Emporium we can help you find the perfect match from the animal world. We have creatures ranging from Puffskiens and owls to bats and toads. Anything you, your partner or your child might need. Young or old, it's never too late or early to get yourself a familiar. Come in and browse our selection of fine creatures from all corners of the Wizarding World. You won't be disappointed."
Words float across the bottom of the fireplace for directions to the store: We have a newly opened store located in Hogsmeade for your convenience. We can be found near the Three Broomsticks.
****
An older wizard with kind and gentle eyes smiles out at the viewers through a pair of triangular shaped spectacles which are set on the bridge of his short, bulbous nose.
OW: "Hello, I'm Quagmire Stuffing. Did you break your favourite toy? Perhaps you'd like it fixed, or maybe even get a new one. Then you'll have come to the right place if you visit my shop, Stuffing and Patch. My partner, Somia Patch, and I are experts at toy repair. Don't be late, our grand opening rates are only going to last the first week. You'll find us right next to Flourish and Blotts in Diagon Alley."
****
A merry song plays as the flames spring back to life and the show returns to view.
Solmyr: He sits in his chair looking out at the audience with a wide grin. "Welcome back friends and watchers. We're sitting here today with Ron Weasley, a good friend of Harry Potter's." He turns his attention to the freckle faced, red haired boy sitting on the hideous couch to his left. "Now, where were we, m'boy? Ah yes, I remember now. How long have you known Harry now?"
Ron: He smiles awkwardly at the audience, then looks back at Solmyr with a frown. "About four years now, going on five."
Solmyr: "And would you say you've been friends since you met?"
Ron: "Yeah, pretty much. I mean, at first I just thought, 'Whoa, that's Harry Potter. THE Harry Potter. He's even got the lightning scar!', but he turned out to be pretty cool. I thought he'd be some kinda rich, snot nosed jerk like Draco Malfoy."
Solmyr: "Is it true that this Draco Malfoy lad is your nemesis?"
Ron: "Uh huh. He's a real pain. Even more than Hermione used to be. I mean, he's not as smart as she is, but he's also not as nice." He blushes faintly and tries to hide it by looking at the tray of sweets again.
Solmyr: He grins and chuckles. "Would this Hermione be a crush of yours?"
Ron: He chokes on the candies he just stuffed in his mouth and looks disgusted, but his face turns as red as his hair...again. "No, of course not! I'd never have a crush on her!"
Solmyr: "Oh, of course not." He grins and winks. "Are you looking forward to starting your fifth year at the school?"
Ron: "Uh, yeah, I guess. I'm sorta wondering what kinda stuff's gonna happen this year though. I mean, it seems like every year there's some new disaster." He narrows his eyes for a moment and mutters. "And of course Harry gets all the credit for taking care of the problems that spring up even though I'm always helping him. He never would've got through that chess game without me."
Solmyr: "Well at least you can't say you're bored at school." He chuckles. "Do you think that if another 'disaster', as you call it, comes up Harry will be able to deal with it?"
Ron: "I thought this interview was supposed to be about me. Why are you asking so many questions about Harry?"
Solmyr: He mumbles almost incoherently for a few seconds. "Because Harry wasn't able to make it to the show today to be our guest." He clears his throat and grins again. "I'm sorry, I hadn't realized I was doing that. So, do you?"
Ron: "Do I what?"
Solmyr: "Believe that Harry will be able to handle any troubles at the school next year."
Ron: He stands up in a huff and crosses his arms angrily. "Oh that's it! If you want to know so much about Harry, go ask him!" He storms off the stage muttering a few curses under his breath and goes out of sight. Director Aaron: He can be heard sighing with aggravation.
Solmyr: "Dear me, I guess it's true what they say about red heads." He chuckles, apparently unaffected by Ron's outburst. "Well, it seems we still have a bit of time left for our show, so how about I introduce the people I work with?"
The audience claps and cheers. It's uncertain whether they're clapping because Ron Weasley is gone, or because they wish to meet the staff.
Solmyr: "Very well, very well. As soon as we're back from yet more commercials, I'll begin introducing people."
Another lively tune plays out as the scene fades and shifts.
****
Female Announcer: "Looking for a change because you're tired of the same old drab hair colour? Well search no further! Some of the greatest, most famous Witch cosmetologists have discovered a spell that will change that boring style you look at in the mirror every morning. All you need to do is tap your hair with your wand twice, like so..." The woman demonstrates briefly. "...and say the words 'Fucate Pigmento Capillo'." As she casts the spell, her hair changes to neon pink. Despite the disapproval in her eyes over the colour, she smiles cheerfully. "Just continue to cast the spell to get your hair the perfect shade of anything!"
A small warning shows beneath the woman's face: Use of this spell more than ten times may result in irreversible effects or 'rainbow syndrome'.
****
From the edge of the fireplace a red haired lad can be seen arguing with someone.
Red haired boy: "You're not getting me out there! Not after all that!"
Male announcer: "It's in your contract, now get moving!"
Red haired boy: Walks out with his arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face as he looks off to the side. "Fine, but I'm not going to enjoy this." He looks out to the audience.
Male announcer: "Just read the cue card, then you can leave."
Red haired boy: "I'm Ron Weasley and I'm here to tell you about the sale at Honeydukes. You can find Toothflossing Stringmints, Peppermint frogs, Jelly Slugs..." He grimaces for a moment apparently recalling some horrendous experience with slugs. "...coconut ice and much more. The stocks are over-filled, so everything is half off. Hurry and get there before the sale ends!" By the end Ron is licking his lips and grinning. "I gotta get there!"
The fire dims again.
****
Solmyr: "Welcome back to the show!" He looks around at the audience with a wide grin. "Alright, I believe it's time for introductions. I think we have just enough time left to get through them all. To my left here is Sulia. She's our resident baker of goodies for myself and our guests. Also she will be getting her own segment on our show to teach us all how to make some delightful treats! I'm quite looking forward to it, as should you."
Sulia: She blushes faintly, not having known about this apparent promotion, and thanks Solmyr kindly for the generosity.
Solmyr: "Quite alright, dear, quite alright." He stands up from his seat and walks off stage. "This here is our director, Aaron Hayden."
The scene shows a blue haired boy of about 16. His outer right eyebrow is pierced with a loop ring, there's a stud in the left side of his nose and an earing in his left ear. All of the jewelry is silver. He's fairly slim, but still somewhat muscular, light skinned and is wearing a blue Muggle tee-shirt, what used to be a white dress shirt, the sleeves have been ripped off as well as all the buttons and the collar, faded blue denim cut off shorts that come down to his knees, a pair of grey longjohns under the shorts and a pair of black army boots without laces. He smirks at the audience and nods.
Solmyr: "Don't let his shabby appearance fool you, folks. This lad is very capable of keeping this show running smoothly."
Aaron: Waves a hand so the attention will be drawn elsewhere.
Solmyr: He chuckles and nods. "A bit shy, I think." He winks at Aaron, then moves on to the next person. "Off to the side defending his job as the bouncer is Julian. He's Sulia's little brother, though some might wonder about how 'little' he's supposed to be." Chuckles again.
The camera spins around rapidly to view a tall, muscular lad who looks about 17 years old. He has shoulder length blond hair tied back with a few loose curls hanging down. His eyes are a dark green and he's relatively pale skinned. He's also decked out in a black suit with green pinstripes, a green silk shirt, black vest and black neck tie. A long, lustful sigh can be heard from the female portion of the audience.
Julian: He grins and waves to the people at home and in the studio, then blows a kiss and bows to a few of the ladies present.
Solmyr: "Gents, it's advised you keep a stern eye on your wives and daughters. This may very well be the 15 year old second coming of Lockhart." He pats Julian on the shoulder and walks off in another direction. "Up top there we have Holly Spenser working the lights. She prefers darkness, but lets shine on her for a moment."
The camera pans to a young girl of 15 sitting on a catwalk controlling the spotlights. She smiles weakly and gives a little wave, obviously not enjoying the idea of being the focus of attention. Her long, dark hair is pulled back in a braid, and she's wearing a puffy black shirt with black trousers. Everything else is hidden in shadows, including most of her face.
Solmyr: Takes a cue from Aaron and nods. "Well, I'm told that's all the time we have for today. It's unfortunate that we couldn't get around to introducing everyone who works on the show, but there's always next time to look forward to! Please tune in again for our next episode of Witches and Wizards Today!" He waves as the lights go down.
The camera tilts downward to show part of the floor, but is still showing the stage. A few lights come back up and people can be seen moving around. As they slowly filter off stage, Sulia can clearly be seen walking back up to the couch with a large blanket in hand. She quickly covers the couch with it, glances around then smiles to herself and nods at her work. She can be heard sighing with relief as she disappears off stage.
Aaron: "If you don't learn where the off switch is I'm gonna make sure you find out in the least pleasurable way possible." He growls at the camera person and starts walking forward.
Shortly after, everything goes dark.
Episode #2
Flames burst to life and a large form takes shape within them. As the scene clears, a tall, broad man with light blue skin and yellow eyes can be easily seen. His suit today is flashing silver with a sparkling ruby tie. As usual, an ear-to-ear grin is plastered across his face.
Solmyr: "Welcome again, faithful friends and viewers. We have another special show lined up for you today. Indeed we do. Only here on Witches and Wizards Today can you meet the Witches and Wizards of our world." Mumbles almost under his breath for a moment. "Or perhaps by passing them on the streets of Diagon Alley, Hogsmeade, or some other place."
Director Aaron: Clears his throat in annoyance.
Solmyr: "Of course, here is most likely where you'll find them!" He chuckles heartily. "Alright, alright, time to get on with the introduction of today's guest....Ron Weasley!"
A few claps can be heard from the audience, but it's nothing overly cheerful, as a red haired boy of about 14 walks up to the stage. His face is nearly as colourful as his hair when he shakes hands with the oversized host.
Ron: "H-hullo. Nice to meet you." He swallows hard and looks up, way up, at the blue skinned man in front of him.
Solmyr: He grins broadly as his hand nearly swallows Ron's. He pats the boy on the shoulder and directs him to the ever present blinding couch and it's bright Hawaiian shirt pattern. The base colour of red seems even louder than before, the large banana yellow flowers almost seem to glow and the smaller mint green flowers sparkle under the lights. "Welcome to our show, Ron. Please, have a seat, m'boy."
Ron: He looks at the couch and instantly turns his eyes away. His face contorts in disgust. "Gah! I think I'm blind!"
Solmyr: He tilts his head to the side and glances from the couch to Ron, then grins and shakes his head. "Tut, tut. It's a lovely couch and quite comfortable, I assure you. Come now, have a seat. That's it, this way. Come, come." He guides the young boy, who happens to be shielding his eyes in an effort to keep his sight, to the great couch.
Ron: He sits down with his eyes closed and hand over his face until he can feel his back leaning against the hideous thing he's sitting on. He finally dares to open one eye and looks around cautiously. He lets out a sigh of relief and grins lopsidedly.
Director Aaron: Makes a few indiscernible noises off stage.
Solmyr: He glances at the director and nods with a grin, then looks out at the audience. "It's that time again. Yes, I know you hate being taken away from our show, but we really must get to the commercials, otherwise there won't be a show."
The jazz band plays a tune and Solmyr can be heard chuckling as the scene fades.
****
From the corner of the fireplace a small face can be seen. She glances around for a moment with wide eyes, then disappears from sight. Whispers can be heard in the background, but the exact words are impossible to make out.
Finally the little girl runs out again, then stands in the center of the fireplace with an adorable smile on her face. Her medium blue eyes twinkle with all the wonder of a child of four, her long, pale blond curls bounce as she hops on her toes and she's wearing a cute little pink robe that perfectly matches the little pink wand in her small hand.
Female Announcer: She laughs quietly for a moment, apparently amused by the little girl. "Mini Magic Robes and Accessories. All your clothing needs for those adorable toddlers at home."
The little girl twirls around and smiles up at someone who can't be seen.
Female Announcer: "Here we have little Tabitha..."
A frown comes over the child's face and she crosses her arms with a sniff of disdain.
Female Announcer: "Oh, alright deary. Here we have little Tabby sporting a lovely pink robe."
Tabby: She spins around again, happy once more now that the woman got her name right. Suddenly her outfit changes to a small, blue robe with matching cloak, mittens and boots. She looks down at the change of clothing and makes a little 'o' with her mouth.
Female Announcer: "We have robes of many colours and sizes for boys and girls. Come in and see us today!"
As the fire fades, Tabby can be seen approaching a tall figure in the darkness and tugging on her skirt impatiently. The person looks down, laughs and nods.
Female Announcer: "Yes, you can go play in puddles now."
The fire goes black.
****
A tall, bone thin warlock comes into view. His claw like hands grasp a battered wooden staff and his empty crystal blue eyes stare unblinking ahead of him. When he speaks, his voice is as cold and emotionless as his face.
Warlock: "For those who desire a relaxing brew after a long day, come to the Skeleton's Closet pub at the north end of Knockturn Alley." He lightly presses the tips of his fingers together and grins, revealing a mouthful of yellowed teeth. "And if you should have any familiars that are no longer useful, such as cats, owls or toads, you are welcome to bring them to us. I'm certain we can find some use for them."
And the advertisement abruptly ends there.
****
The lights of the stage are slowly brought back up to reveal the Witches and Wizards Today show with the band playing merrily in the background. Solmyr sits comfortably in his host chair with a large grin and Ron shifts nervously on the couch trying to find a safe place to look.
Sulia: Appears with a tray of sweets in hand and slowly approaches the two male figures. She casts a veiled glare at the couch, then replaces the look with a somewhat forced, yet cheerful smile as she offers the tray to Ron and Solmyr.
Ron: His eyes light up when he sees the tray. "Wow, those look great!" He dives into the sweets as though he hasn't eaten anything in weeks. "Thanks!"
Solmyr: He chuckles and watches the lad with amusement. "You know, that tray of sweets will be there until the end of the show."
Ron: A grin spreads over his freckled face and he tries to speak through a mouthful of candy. "Sorry 'bout that." He closes his eyes tightly and swallows the lump of sweets in his mouth, nearly causing himself to choke. "I'll try to slow down."
Solmyr: He waits until Ron empties his mouth after having grabbed a few more treats, then begins the interview. "Tell me, Ron, do you enjoy attending Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry?"
Ron: "Oh yeah! It's great there! Of course, it'd be even better if they canned Sna...I mean, Professor Snape." His face again turns nearly as red as his hair.
Solmyr: He chuckles again and takes a candy from the tray. "I take it he's not your favourite teacher then. Aside from the Potions Master, are there any Professors you dislike?"
Ron: "Well, there was Lockhart. I still dunno what Hermione saw in that one. I mean, he was a complete dunderhead! Then there's Snape. He's just evil. I don't know why Dumbledore lets him stay. Binns the ghost Professor is so boring. He drones on and on about stuff no one cares about. I mean, when he was alive he was probably there for all of it. The guy's ancient! Not even dying could stop him from teaching. And Trelawney, she's a treat." He takes a deep breath and rolls his eyes. "I don't think she ever sees anything good in those stupid glass balls." He hunches his shoulders, makes circles with his fingers and puts them over his eyes, then tries to make his voice high and wispy. "I'm Professor Trelawney and I'm going to tell you when you're going to die and what kind of horrific accidents you'll be in that shall scar you the rest of your days, even though you'll have very few days to live. Because all I see are the terrible things that are going to happen to you. Let me draw up a chart of the stars that makes no sense to anyone but me and I'll tell you when and how you're going to die." He stops with a short laugh. "Then there's Filch. He's all but Snape's lapdog, I think. And there's Lockhart and Snape." He thinks for a minute, then grins again. "I guess I already mentioned them."
Solmyr: He remains silent for a moment and blinks at Ron a few times, then a wide grin appears on his blue face and he starts chuckling again. "I see, I see. Well, it seems there are a few Professors you don't like. Are there any classes you do enjoy?"
Ron: "Oh yeah. I love Hagrid's class about Mystical Beasts. It's the best just because Hagrid teaches it. And I like McGonagall's Transfiguration, even though I'm not very good at it." He shrugs and smiles.
Solmyr: "Very good, very good. Hopefully you'll find more classes and Professors to like in the future. Now, let's see, what else is there? Hmm...." He thinks for a moment before his face brightens again. "You're good friends with Harry Potter, aren't you? Tell us, what's your honest opinion of him?"
Ron: His face again turns rather pink. "Harry's one of my best friends. He's really great to hang around with. We get into all sorts of trouble together. The only thing I don't like is how much attention everyone gives him. I get ignored whenever he's around."
Solmyr: "A pity that is. So what kind of trouble do the two of you get into?"
Ron: He gives Solmyr a suspicious look, then shrugs. "Well, we've broken all kinds of school rules, but we haven't been expelled yet. I think that's cause he's always saving the day. We've wandered around at night when everyone else was in bed, but we had his invisibility cloak to hide under so we wouldn't get caught. During our first year we went to the corridor on the third floor that was supposed to be off limits. We've used magic outside of class. Stuff like that."
Solmyr: "Were you ever afraid one of you, or both, might end up hurt or killed?"
Ron: "Definitely. I mean, we did some really dangerous stuff. There was some Devil's Snare that we fell into. I thought it was gonna strangle me to death. Thank goodness I managed to stay calm." He glances around nervously and his ears turn a bit pink. "Then there were the spiders in the Dark Forest. I didn't like them at all. There were lots of times I thought we were gonna die."
Solmyr: "Odd how that never stopped you from getting into more trouble than you should. Lucky Harry was always there to help you out, eh?" Ron: He frowns a bit and nods reluctantly. "Yeah, I guess. I could've handled it myself though. It's not like I don't know anything. I know as much stuff as Harry does."
Solmyr: "Of course you do, of course." He glances at the director off stage again and nods. "And again it's time for our sponsors to say a few things. We'll be right back."
The band strikes up a short melody again as the scene changes once more.
****
A beautiful young witch appears in the flickering flames with a bright smile on her face.
BYW: "Greetings and salutations. Are you looking for a new pet? Perhaps a replacement for one that's died or retired? Here at the Owl Emporium we can help you find the perfect match from the animal world. We have creatures ranging from Puffskiens and owls to bats and toads. Anything you, your partner or your child might need. Young or old, it's never too late or early to get yourself a familiar. Come in and browse our selection of fine creatures from all corners of the Wizarding World. You won't be disappointed."
Words float across the bottom of the fireplace for directions to the store: We have a newly opened store located in Hogsmeade for your convenience. We can be found near the Three Broomsticks.
****
An older wizard with kind and gentle eyes smiles out at the viewers through a pair of triangular shaped spectacles which are set on the bridge of his short, bulbous nose.
OW: "Hello, I'm Quagmire Stuffing. Did you break your favourite toy? Perhaps you'd like it fixed, or maybe even get a new one. Then you'll have come to the right place if you visit my shop, Stuffing and Patch. My partner, Somia Patch, and I are experts at toy repair. Don't be late, our grand opening rates are only going to last the first week. You'll find us right next to Flourish and Blotts in Diagon Alley."
****
A merry song plays as the flames spring back to life and the show returns to view.
Solmyr: He sits in his chair looking out at the audience with a wide grin. "Welcome back friends and watchers. We're sitting here today with Ron Weasley, a good friend of Harry Potter's." He turns his attention to the freckle faced, red haired boy sitting on the hideous couch to his left. "Now, where were we, m'boy? Ah yes, I remember now. How long have you known Harry now?"
Ron: He smiles awkwardly at the audience, then looks back at Solmyr with a frown. "About four years now, going on five."
Solmyr: "And would you say you've been friends since you met?"
Ron: "Yeah, pretty much. I mean, at first I just thought, 'Whoa, that's Harry Potter. THE Harry Potter. He's even got the lightning scar!', but he turned out to be pretty cool. I thought he'd be some kinda rich, snot nosed jerk like Draco Malfoy."
Solmyr: "Is it true that this Draco Malfoy lad is your nemesis?"
Ron: "Uh huh. He's a real pain. Even more than Hermione used to be. I mean, he's not as smart as she is, but he's also not as nice." He blushes faintly and tries to hide it by looking at the tray of sweets again.
Solmyr: He grins and chuckles. "Would this Hermione be a crush of yours?"
Ron: He chokes on the candies he just stuffed in his mouth and looks disgusted, but his face turns as red as his hair...again. "No, of course not! I'd never have a crush on her!"
Solmyr: "Oh, of course not." He grins and winks. "Are you looking forward to starting your fifth year at the school?"
Ron: "Uh, yeah, I guess. I'm sorta wondering what kinda stuff's gonna happen this year though. I mean, it seems like every year there's some new disaster." He narrows his eyes for a moment and mutters. "And of course Harry gets all the credit for taking care of the problems that spring up even though I'm always helping him. He never would've got through that chess game without me."
Solmyr: "Well at least you can't say you're bored at school." He chuckles. "Do you think that if another 'disaster', as you call it, comes up Harry will be able to deal with it?"
Ron: "I thought this interview was supposed to be about me. Why are you asking so many questions about Harry?"
Solmyr: He mumbles almost incoherently for a few seconds. "Because Harry wasn't able to make it to the show today to be our guest." He clears his throat and grins again. "I'm sorry, I hadn't realized I was doing that. So, do you?"
Ron: "Do I what?"
Solmyr: "Believe that Harry will be able to handle any troubles at the school next year."
Ron: He stands up in a huff and crosses his arms angrily. "Oh that's it! If you want to know so much about Harry, go ask him!" He storms off the stage muttering a few curses under his breath and goes out of sight. Director Aaron: He can be heard sighing with aggravation.
Solmyr: "Dear me, I guess it's true what they say about red heads." He chuckles, apparently unaffected by Ron's outburst. "Well, it seems we still have a bit of time left for our show, so how about I introduce the people I work with?"
The audience claps and cheers. It's uncertain whether they're clapping because Ron Weasley is gone, or because they wish to meet the staff.
Solmyr: "Very well, very well. As soon as we're back from yet more commercials, I'll begin introducing people."
Another lively tune plays out as the scene fades and shifts.
****
Female Announcer: "Looking for a change because you're tired of the same old drab hair colour? Well search no further! Some of the greatest, most famous Witch cosmetologists have discovered a spell that will change that boring style you look at in the mirror every morning. All you need to do is tap your hair with your wand twice, like so..." The woman demonstrates briefly. "...and say the words 'Fucate Pigmento Capillo'." As she casts the spell, her hair changes to neon pink. Despite the disapproval in her eyes over the colour, she smiles cheerfully. "Just continue to cast the spell to get your hair the perfect shade of anything!"
A small warning shows beneath the woman's face: Use of this spell more than ten times may result in irreversible effects or 'rainbow syndrome'.
****
From the edge of the fireplace a red haired lad can be seen arguing with someone.
Red haired boy: "You're not getting me out there! Not after all that!"
Male announcer: "It's in your contract, now get moving!"
Red haired boy: Walks out with his arms crossed over his chest and a frown on his face as he looks off to the side. "Fine, but I'm not going to enjoy this." He looks out to the audience.
Male announcer: "Just read the cue card, then you can leave."
Red haired boy: "I'm Ron Weasley and I'm here to tell you about the sale at Honeydukes. You can find Toothflossing Stringmints, Peppermint frogs, Jelly Slugs..." He grimaces for a moment apparently recalling some horrendous experience with slugs. "...coconut ice and much more. The stocks are over-filled, so everything is half off. Hurry and get there before the sale ends!" By the end Ron is licking his lips and grinning. "I gotta get there!"
The fire dims again.
****
Solmyr: "Welcome back to the show!" He looks around at the audience with a wide grin. "Alright, I believe it's time for introductions. I think we have just enough time left to get through them all. To my left here is Sulia. She's our resident baker of goodies for myself and our guests. Also she will be getting her own segment on our show to teach us all how to make some delightful treats! I'm quite looking forward to it, as should you."
Sulia: She blushes faintly, not having known about this apparent promotion, and thanks Solmyr kindly for the generosity.
Solmyr: "Quite alright, dear, quite alright." He stands up from his seat and walks off stage. "This here is our director, Aaron Hayden."
The scene shows a blue haired boy of about 16. His outer right eyebrow is pierced with a loop ring, there's a stud in the left side of his nose and an earing in his left ear. All of the jewelry is silver. He's fairly slim, but still somewhat muscular, light skinned and is wearing a blue Muggle tee-shirt, what used to be a white dress shirt, the sleeves have been ripped off as well as all the buttons and the collar, faded blue denim cut off shorts that come down to his knees, a pair of grey longjohns under the shorts and a pair of black army boots without laces. He smirks at the audience and nods.
Solmyr: "Don't let his shabby appearance fool you, folks. This lad is very capable of keeping this show running smoothly."
Aaron: Waves a hand so the attention will be drawn elsewhere.
Solmyr: He chuckles and nods. "A bit shy, I think." He winks at Aaron, then moves on to the next person. "Off to the side defending his job as the bouncer is Julian. He's Sulia's little brother, though some might wonder about how 'little' he's supposed to be." Chuckles again.
The camera spins around rapidly to view a tall, muscular lad who looks about 17 years old. He has shoulder length blond hair tied back with a few loose curls hanging down. His eyes are a dark green and he's relatively pale skinned. He's also decked out in a black suit with green pinstripes, a green silk shirt, black vest and black neck tie. A long, lustful sigh can be heard from the female portion of the audience.
Julian: He grins and waves to the people at home and in the studio, then blows a kiss and bows to a few of the ladies present.
Solmyr: "Gents, it's advised you keep a stern eye on your wives and daughters. This may very well be the 15 year old second coming of Lockhart." He pats Julian on the shoulder and walks off in another direction. "Up top there we have Holly Spenser working the lights. She prefers darkness, but lets shine on her for a moment."
The camera pans to a young girl of 15 sitting on a catwalk controlling the spotlights. She smiles weakly and gives a little wave, obviously not enjoying the idea of being the focus of attention. Her long, dark hair is pulled back in a braid, and she's wearing a puffy black shirt with black trousers. Everything else is hidden in shadows, including most of her face.
Solmyr: Takes a cue from Aaron and nods. "Well, I'm told that's all the time we have for today. It's unfortunate that we couldn't get around to introducing everyone who works on the show, but there's always next time to look forward to! Please tune in again for our next episode of Witches and Wizards Today!" He waves as the lights go down.
The camera tilts downward to show part of the floor, but is still showing the stage. A few lights come back up and people can be seen moving around. As they slowly filter off stage, Sulia can clearly be seen walking back up to the couch with a large blanket in hand. She quickly covers the couch with it, glances around then smiles to herself and nods at her work. She can be heard sighing with relief as she disappears off stage.
Aaron: "If you don't learn where the off switch is I'm gonna make sure you find out in the least pleasurable way possible." He growls at the camera person and starts walking forward.
Shortly after, everything goes dark.