Title: Being Noticed
Author: Luisa
Email: leyjd@hotmail.com
Pairing: None - B/G friendship, perhaps?
Rating: G
Distribution: Dword, Kattie, Dee, TL... all my usual archives. Anyone
else who wants it, just let me know where!
Summary: A kind-of "What-if..." fluff-fic. Maybe if this had happened,
things might have turned out differently. I've never, ever attempted this
sort of POV-fic before, so please be gentle with me... if you get confused
and want someone to blame, then blame.... *looks around*... Kiwi-Kat... cuz
she writes these sorts of fics so well, she unknowingly and unintentionally
inspired me to give it a bash.
Spoilers: um... through early season 3... you'll understand, eventually ;)
Disclaimer: Not mine although I wish they were. All I own is an
overactive imagination. The ingenious invention of the Buffy-Verse belongs
to Joss, Fox, ME and co.
Feedback: As always... DEFINITELY!
Thanks: Huge thanks to Deb, for the beta and for being so patient with me
on this one... Sorry for confusing you! And thanks to Kerrie for giving
this a quick pre-beta check. :)
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is she *ever* going to notice me? All she ever does is look right through me. Why can't she look *at* me, for once?
How many times must I sit here and wait for her to say something? Something meaningful, or complimentary would be nice - but knowing her, all she'll do is talk about herself, or how her day has been.
I don't deserve to be continually cast aside like this. How is it that she can be so full of life and yet so self-involved? It's been several weeks since I first had the pleasure of seeing her and I can still recall my initial impression.
She is quite petite - not what you would expect for someone with her abilities - and full of courage. Yet, her eyes betray her, revealing to the world the trepidation within. You wouldn't know it to look at her, though, for she laughs and lives and loves as if there wasn't even an iota of fear in her heart.
On the topic of, living and loving... I've noticed that she draws beautiful people to her. The friendships she shares are each unique... and precious. The boy has a heart of gold and is such a stable and dependable influence in her life. He'll always say what he means and, although his love is unrequited, it is obvious to the world that he would do anything to keep her safe. Then there's the intelligent redhead, who wants nothing more than for her friends to be happy. I've seen her insecurities flash in those green eyes many a time - yet she is fiercely loyal to those who believe in her and would stop at nothing to find a solution to any problem her friends might encounter. Let's not forget, of course, the raven-haired beauty that insists she isn't at all bothered by the newcomer's presence. Of course, I can see through her façade... she won't admit it, but I can see that she admires Buffy. She'll never say a word, of course... and naturally, neither would I. I can't, after all.
There have been others, and will continue to be, who will feel pulled toward this amazing young woman. They are people who are inspired by her to do great things and become great people; for this is just how influential she is.
Lastly, I must mention her mentor - the man I see when I look into the mirror... a man who has suffered much. The words that he weeps in his sleep tell of how the consequences of his past still fill his heart with anguish, and each time I visit the mirror I see that his pain lives on in his sorrow-filled eyes. Yet, at the same time, the reflection I see shows that this man is changed. He is here now, fulfilling his duty: keeping watch over her and at the same time, attempting to put right the mistakes he has made over the years. More than that, he too, is drawn to this incredible young woman - not just because she is his Slayer and he is her Watcher, but he is drawn to her as one hurting person is to another.
Perhaps... it is possible that one day their souls will find redemption through each other. I cannot help but fear, however, that things will go the opposite way; that they will lose their friendship before long, if she doesn't start *really* looking and learning and paying attention to the hurting man who guides her.
Well, here we are... and yet again, I'm ignored. He's the only one that cares for me - takes the time to rub me... even if it is just his way of avoiding the subject... or maybe he's trying to drop a hint. I can never be sure. I'm too busy wishing I could scream at her... tell her my fears... warn her of what may happen if she doesn't take the time to notice me. But of course, I don't say a word. I can't.
Instead, we three go quietly outside together into the sunny courtyard where bright rays of sunlight shine down. She turns to speak and she squints in the sudden glare, shielding her eyes as she looks up at me. Awareness dawns - I can see it in the widening blue-grey eyes and she speaks softly, surprising us both.
"Giles, you've got new glasses."
I swear, if I could dance, I would. She's *noticed* me! He and I are surprised further as she smiles up at us.
"I like them. They really suit you."
I can feel him smile beneath me and I get the sudden feeling that at last my fears can be put to rest.
END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Is she *ever* going to notice me? All she ever does is look right through me. Why can't she look *at* me, for once?
How many times must I sit here and wait for her to say something? Something meaningful, or complimentary would be nice - but knowing her, all she'll do is talk about herself, or how her day has been.
I don't deserve to be continually cast aside like this. How is it that she can be so full of life and yet so self-involved? It's been several weeks since I first had the pleasure of seeing her and I can still recall my initial impression.
She is quite petite - not what you would expect for someone with her abilities - and full of courage. Yet, her eyes betray her, revealing to the world the trepidation within. You wouldn't know it to look at her, though, for she laughs and lives and loves as if there wasn't even an iota of fear in her heart.
On the topic of, living and loving... I've noticed that she draws beautiful people to her. The friendships she shares are each unique... and precious. The boy has a heart of gold and is such a stable and dependable influence in her life. He'll always say what he means and, although his love is unrequited, it is obvious to the world that he would do anything to keep her safe. Then there's the intelligent redhead, who wants nothing more than for her friends to be happy. I've seen her insecurities flash in those green eyes many a time - yet she is fiercely loyal to those who believe in her and would stop at nothing to find a solution to any problem her friends might encounter. Let's not forget, of course, the raven-haired beauty that insists she isn't at all bothered by the newcomer's presence. Of course, I can see through her façade... she won't admit it, but I can see that she admires Buffy. She'll never say a word, of course... and naturally, neither would I. I can't, after all.
There have been others, and will continue to be, who will feel pulled toward this amazing young woman. They are people who are inspired by her to do great things and become great people; for this is just how influential she is.
Lastly, I must mention her mentor - the man I see when I look into the mirror... a man who has suffered much. The words that he weeps in his sleep tell of how the consequences of his past still fill his heart with anguish, and each time I visit the mirror I see that his pain lives on in his sorrow-filled eyes. Yet, at the same time, the reflection I see shows that this man is changed. He is here now, fulfilling his duty: keeping watch over her and at the same time, attempting to put right the mistakes he has made over the years. More than that, he too, is drawn to this incredible young woman - not just because she is his Slayer and he is her Watcher, but he is drawn to her as one hurting person is to another.
Perhaps... it is possible that one day their souls will find redemption through each other. I cannot help but fear, however, that things will go the opposite way; that they will lose their friendship before long, if she doesn't start *really* looking and learning and paying attention to the hurting man who guides her.
Well, here we are... and yet again, I'm ignored. He's the only one that cares for me - takes the time to rub me... even if it is just his way of avoiding the subject... or maybe he's trying to drop a hint. I can never be sure. I'm too busy wishing I could scream at her... tell her my fears... warn her of what may happen if she doesn't take the time to notice me. But of course, I don't say a word. I can't.
Instead, we three go quietly outside together into the sunny courtyard where bright rays of sunlight shine down. She turns to speak and she squints in the sudden glare, shielding her eyes as she looks up at me. Awareness dawns - I can see it in the widening blue-grey eyes and she speaks softly, surprising us both.
"Giles, you've got new glasses."
I swear, if I could dance, I would. She's *noticed* me! He and I are surprised further as she smiles up at us.
"I like them. They really suit you."
I can feel him smile beneath me and I get the sudden feeling that at last my fears can be put to rest.
END