Chapter 2: Really Does Love You

             Rogue stepped through the hospital wing door after lessons were done for the day, Kitty sitting looking frantic as she read through a book, a clipboard on her lap, "hey," Rogue said in a low voice, she hid behind the white streaks of hair hanging at either side of her face, contrasting against the rest of her dyed black hair that hung past her shoulders now.

             Kitty raised her eyes, "oh…hi," she said, feeling weakened just by the sight of Rogue.  Rogue looked particularly haunting – and perhaps even her expression itself seemed so tragically haunted, as if she were some spectre doomed to forever stalk the earth forced to relive the most painful moments of her life. 

             "How're you feelin'?" Rogue said, her tone slight, almost timid, she stood in the threshold, not stepping in any closer, she hugged herself against a slight chill that hung in the air.  She was wearing an outfit that exposed more skin than Kitty was used to seeing on Rogue.  A top that was barely a bra with a thin black mesh top pulled over it.  A pair of short leather shorts, and ripped fishnet stockings.  Chunky boots only half laced up.  Her make up was thick, and gave her an almost skeletal appearance in the bad lighting of the hospital wing.

             Kitty broke her thoughts away from how strange Rogue looked compared to the Rogue she'd once known, "I…I'm fine, just a bit confused, some things are still a bit hazy to me…for the most part my head is all there…" she explained.

             "I didn't know that Jared could do that," Rogue said, her voice barely a frightened whisper.  Her eyes slightly wide.

             "No one did, Rogue," Kitty closed her book, "It was the least thing I expected to happen," she added hesitantly. "How are you?" she asked, trying to change the subject, she could see from the expression her friends face that it was something she'd been dwelling on all night.

             Rogue shrugged, "doesn't really matter how I feel," she shrugged, "Jared's gone…because you got involved…no one can find him…" Rogue looked away.   "Ororo and Logan looked but no sign of him…as long as he isn't using his powers…Cerebro won't trace him either," she sighed, she walked in and sat on the nearby bed rather than next to Kitty.

             Kitty sat up straighter, "you're mad at me for getting involved?  Jesus, I couldn't just stand there and watch him rip you apart…" Kitty looked at her, "You're my best friend, what kind of friend would I be if I let him hurt you like that…"

             "If you hadn't he'd still be here…" Rogue trailed off.

             "Hold on," Kitty put her hands up in her defence, "Rogue, that guy is a maniac, he was gettin' violent…why the hell were you just standin' there lettin' him emotionally abuse you like that!  You're stronger than that…why let him do that?" Kitty demanded, a little angry.

             Rogue gave a shrug and looked away, "he doesn't mean to, he just…he gets frustrated."

             "He's a fucking psychopath for crying out loud," Kitty made a face, "he's violent!  He almost killed me!"

             "That's an exaggeration," Rogue frowned, as if all he'd done was tap Kitty on the shoulder rather than phased his fist through her head.

             "Is it?" Kitty scoffed, "My brain got SCRAMBLED, if he'd held on any longer inside my head, I might have been a drooling vegetable today," she reminded, "you don't know the kind of PAIN I felt when he plunged his hand into me, it felt like a thousand knifes were being pierced into my brain!"

             Rogue got up, "he didn't mean it," she said calmly, "he's just upset…"

             "Like FUCK he didn't mean it, he knew exactly what he was doing, Rogue!" Kitty gaped, "I can't believe you're defending him!!!" Kitty said, "Jesus,  Remy might be an asshole, but at least he keeps his hands to himself, Rogue," Kitty remarked, as much as she was still loathing Remy for the previous nights behaviour, she felt that if Rogue was to be with either Remy or Jared, Remy would have to be in favour, at least Rogue would be safe.

             "Are you just trying to remind me of how much you and Remy are into each other?!  As if isn't bad enough my boyfriend took off, now I have my best friend dating my ex-fiance!  God, you jumped on the wagon fast enough, he wasn't even back a day and you were already all over him!"

             "Okay, first of all, you and Remy weren't even engaged a full five hours before you guys split up," Kitty pointed out, "second, you never even technically split up.  All Remy said was he needed time to think, and you never bothered to check if it meant you guys were over, but you jumped on Jared's 'wagon' about three days later," She added, "And THIRD, Remy is STILL in love with you and I would be lucky if I received even a fraction of the LOVE he has for you!"

             Rogue hugged herself, getting up, "love is only a game to that boy," she muttered, "he only wants me as long as there's no real commitment, and when there was he threw it away!"

             "Because you hurt him!" Kitty said, "I warned you and I warned you and you just wouldn't listen, and it blew up in your face like I told you it would, and you're still acting as if it's his fault that he threw that commitment away!"

             "He had me there in a commitment, we were ENGAGED, seems to me like he found the easy way out of it!" Rogue yelled.

             "He was the one who brought the subject of promises and marriage up in the first place, Rogue, why would he bring that up if he didn't want to be committed?" Kitty pointed out, she tried to keep a very calm voice, but it was becoming increasingly difficult.

             "Because he wanted Sex…he's an addict," Rogue stated calmly.

             "If it were that he'd have found some way to be with you and would have fucked you three ways from Sunday by now," Kitty pointed out.

             "He just can't figure out ways," Rogue made a face.  "And despite it all, ok, it MIGHT be my fault that we got in the argument but it was his fault he drove me away."

             "He regrets it!" Kitty said, "he was upset, he's never been hurt like that before!" Kitty said, "jesus, look at Gambit, he's good looking, and athletic and interesting, he's not the kind of guy girls ditch for other guys…he's the kind of guy who can have ANY girl he wants, and he wants YOU!"

             Rogue gave a shrug as if she didn't care anymore.

             "And he loves you and he's never had to go through that kind of rejection before because he's never loved before, and finding out you had feelings for another guy was killin' him inside, I mean, you know yourself what JEALOUSY is like, don't you?"

             Rogue shrugged again, she didn't want to admit that she did, after seeing Kitty and Remy together so much, she'd begun to know exactly how jealousy felt.

             "It makes you say things you don't mean or do things you didn't mean to do – that's what happened.  Finding out how you felt about Jared overloaded his emotions…"

             Rogue sighed, "You make it sound so simple.  It's not."

             "I know that," Kitty said.

             Rogue glanced towards the door, "Where is he, anyway?"

             "How should I know?" Kitty asked incredulously, she thought it should be obvious she didn't, she was sitting in a hospital wing bed, it wasn't as if she'd just passed Remy in the hallway.

             "You two are a 'thing', aren't you?" Rogue said, her voice sounding like acid, poison to the ears.

             "No," Kitty said, "Wasn't workin' out, there was no spark," Kitty lied.

"You said you loved him," Rogue frowned a little, she was confused now, Kitty had seemed so infatuated with Remy, that it had seemed that might be a match made in heaven if they got together.

"I thought I did…" Kitty said, "but I don't…I can't love him when he just thinks about you all the time…" she explained.  Kitty felt incredible guilt pulling her down, she couldn't bring herself to tell Rogue the truth, not just yet.  "Anyway, why you asking where he is?  You gonna go talk to him?  Maybe sort things out with him?" Kitty asked hopefully.  She yearned for things to be back to normal again in the mansion.

             "I have to give him back this…" Rogue gestured to the necklace around her throat, a silver engraved cross bearing words 'fill my heart with your love' in French. 

             "Rogue, are you crazy, if you give him that it'll REALLY be over," Kitty said, gaping.

             "So?" Rogue shrugged, as if this were something she did every day.

             "You don't want this to be over…you still want him, you've never stopped wanting him, and if you give him that back it WILL be over…no going back.  If you give him that necklace back, its like saying 'I don't want anything to do with you, not even anything to remind me of you'…" Kitty stated, she knew Remy enough to know that if he received the necklace back, he'd be heartbroken.

             Rogue sighed, "I don't care anymore," she sighed, "I'll be better off without him, really…"

             "No, you won't…" Kitty sighed, "without him, you're gonna be empty…and bitter," Kitty said, "you're like that every time you guys have a fight…or break up…you know it, and I know it."

             "I have to go," Rogue headed towards the doorway, her back turned towards Kitty as she was leaving.

             "Rogue, please, think about what you're doin'…he really does love you, as much as he's fucked up about it and as many times as he's screwed up, he still really does love you…" Kitty looked pleadingly at Rogue, hoping her words would sink in.  The thought of Rogue being unhappy for the rest of her life if she gave Remy up was more than she could bear.
             Rogue felt her eyes water a little, but forced it back, drawing her breath, "I used to feel that same way…used to," she mumbled, "And up until I saw his email this morning…I would have taken him back…but not now," she sighed, and left.